My Mum is the only thing stopping me right now, but I'm getting to the point where I can't live for her anymore. I feel it will be a weight off of her shoulders if I do, as she is upset at seeing me so sad
I'm sorry you feel the same way. I don't want to put her through anymore pain (my Dad died 4 years ago) and I know she would struggle. I just feel I want her to enjoy her later years in life, without feeling she's got me to worry about
If you feel she's upset at seeing you sad, imagine how upset she'd be if she saw you dead. She's sad because she wants you to live the best life you can.
I held off because my mom was dying of cancer. And then my dad died from the same exact cancer. I was actually going to do it a few days ago. But something stopped me.
I’m sorry you’re not okay and struggling too. Thank you, your kind words mean a lot.
I don’t want to put her through it but I’m petrified of what I’ll do if something happens to her. She’s my only safety, but even now as I type, I feel guilty for everything I am putting her through now. The only way I can stop my mind is by doing the one thing that’ll destroy her.
Bro, You got anything to talk about? I am all ears. I have been suicidal for some time as well but I feel like Life is one of the rarest of the chance of probabilities, and living on this beautiful planet sans cruel system is a blessing in itself.
Your mother doesn’t deserve to cry, shed tears over your corpse.
Life is more than all this.
Thank you. I hate my new job and I left the one before that quite quickly too. I can’t seem to find a good fit. My old company sold the business so I had to take something, since then I’ve gone from one job to this and neither are working out. Work was always my passion and I dread it. I was told a very different story for this job and I’m alone without training.
I’ve struggled with anxiety for so many years and have been in and out of therapy.
I lost my Dad and never really dealt with this.
Then I’ve just been through a gut wrenching breakup. We had to split up because of the circumstances and neither of us wanted it. I’ve lost the love of my life because people don’t approve.
I just can’t carry on and don’t know what to do
90% of your depression is due to career, and I can understand that as well, Like I am quite ambitious, trying to excel yet I get frustrated a lot. But it’s OK.
Most of the times, we get too obsessed and want immodest results without going through the actual path which is the fun part (if you try to think of it like that).
I lost my dad too, it was sudden, 4 years ago during covid while I was finishing college. I got messed up too.
Now think what will happen to your mom?
My parents treat me like an object, not a person. They have a concept in their head about who I am and what I can be; both of which don’t align with reality. The longer I stay alive, the more frustrated they get that I’m not living up to their expectation. I’m a massive disappointment to them, a stain on their otherwise idyllic family portrait.
I’m doing them a favor by removing myself from their lives. I won’t be the kid they’re ashamed of. I’ll be the kid with a mental health problem who didn’t get enough help. They’ll still avoid talking about me, but it’s more socially acceptable to avoid talking about death than it is the family screw up.
In my mind, the heartbreak they’ll feel from my passing will always be less than the heartbreak I cause them on a daily basis.
For some people, it doesn’t feel like our parents (or anyone else really) care or would be sad if we did end it or die somehow, esp when said parents make you feel like a burden for being alive even if they do care but just suck at showing it or are misguided.
for me my perspective changed and I see suicide as a selfless act not a selfish one. i am exhausted and and tired. emotionally physically and financially.
my loved ones will need to understand
same! I cant help but judge people who think that killing yourself is a worst thing a person can do and is a selfish act. But tbh, its not. Its about finally being free. and freeing people of yourself. Its a selfless act not a selfish one.
Some people just reach a point where the just don’t care anymore. It’s just cuz you care ma man bout yo family. Also means you’ve got great parents that care boutcha, tons. Talk to em, maybe they can help ya.
sometimes I feel like they don’t care that’s why I want to commit suicide. I know they love me though, it’s confusing. But it’s like a cognitive distortion or something that makes some people,perceive that others are against them and don’t truly want to help them
but I don’t like seeing how my problems cause others distress. and I don’t want to be such a burden on wasting all their money and effort when I’m not getting better.
It sounds like your parents are a good support system, you should see if (maybe in not to many words to them, unless you're desperate) you can see if they'll help you?
My parents personally flip flop between needing to do things to "protect" me from killing myself because they "love" me.
To telling me I'm a burden on them and the family, after I've told them countless times that feeling like a burden is what triggers my suicidal ideations
Because they can go fuck themselves. They suck, I wouldn't stay alive and suffer because of some assholes who birthed me. I don't owe them anything and I want them to be sad
Most of the reasons I want to end it are related to my parents and childhood. I love my parents, but honestly I couldn't care less about them finding out I killed myself. They think I'm going to Hell anyway for being gay so maybe they'd be happy lol.
Because you're selfless. You care, and that should tell you that you're worth something.
What if you found meaning next week? If you found the strength to bear this, could you live a life worth living in your estimation?
I dare you try. I'm going to anyway. Worst that can happen is I fail again, it hurts again, I'm hardened for it.
There's no lower state of consciousness than wanting to die. At least we can find comfort knowing where rock bottom is. And if this doesn't break you, consider yourself invincible.
Exactly. Other peoples' feelings are not going to make you feel any better. My brother knew that all too well. I miss him but I understand why he committed suicide, at least in that though people loved him, it wasn't enough. I definitely know what that feels like.
In all honesty it don't matter what the parents think they brought the kid into this world involuntarily yes you did good but still we don't wanna fight through this pile of crap covered in pretty ribbons and bows and find treasure to most its just crap lol
i mean if i had to be honestly and i may sound horrible but i really dont care. my life is so painful, i hate waking up everyday that if their sad so be it. if i can end my suffering im okay with it. theyll get over my death. and i may sound selfish but i dont care. we were put into this world for what? why are we forced to be here and not even allowed to die.
Some ppl have awful parents, this is gonna be dark, but if there’s one thing that makes me a bit giddy about offing myself is know how miserable my dad will be, he deserves to be so miserable and me doing it would be just the right thing for him to snap out of his Neanderthal mindset, I’d leave a letter and everything, every single thing he has done to hurt me there, imagine going public with everything he has done with me and his life to be in shambles? God it would be amazing
He “jokes” that he doesn’t have any guilt / I can’t blame him if I ever kill myself (I never commented about my tendencies, he just dropped that out of the blue in arguments and conversations) I’d love to prove him wrong sometimes
What stops me from doing it it’s my sisters and mom, mom has a very unstable health condition and any stress can make her immune system go insane, I think she would die right after me, and to leave my sisters alone with my dad is just plain cruel
If my mom ever dies and sisters find husbands or wife’s whom are stable / to have a good life with, then it’s bye bye time
Their parents are most likely devastated by the loss. With the exception of maybe abusive ones, all parents are winging it with their kids. They aren’t the experts in everything that their kids may think they are and also go through their own stuff, their kids just may never see it.
Because I am in such excruciating and unbearable pain. I believe I will be in more peace (heaven or just not dealing with depression, anxiety, and BPD) and my parents know I love them very much, but I can’t stay alive for someone else, it will never be true happiness
I don't believe my parents would feel any sadness now, and in retrospect I don't think they ever would have, but as a child I justified it with 'they'd be sad, then they'd realise how good they have it when they don't have to deal with my bullshit and they'd be happier than ever'
Idc. They're both married. So are all my siblings. Here I am a guy that works out everyday, 3 years sober, and things don't get better. I'm still alone. Nobody hits my phone up. Nobody asks if I'm okay. Why does it matter what they think?
I’m in the same predicament right now I just talked to my parents for the last time knowing how much I’m going to hurt them…. But I can’t keep going on
You can't never know... but I know a lot of people -and I include myself too- that at least the thought of a mother figure suffering stops people from doing it. Last time I tried, I cried out of frustration because I wanted to do it, but my mom popping in my head couldn't let me finish doing it. As for the latter question... I don't have an answer and I feel like I too need to know.
Edit: Honestly if I lived with my father I woulda off myself years ago, as he suggested me to do it.
Some people's parents don't care, ever think of that? My parents treated me like shit my entire life up till now. I did all they asked, all they wanted, and they kicked me out to the curb when I got into a fight. They have NEVER cared about my feelings, so why should I care about theirs?
Because it has nothing to do with anyone else, it's about your suffering. I have schizoaffective and it impairs your ability to feel empathy as well. I don't care who I hurt with my death that's my decision if I don't want to fucking suffer anymore like I do every single day of this miserable existence.
Because this is my life, not theirs. They didn't ask my permission when they decided to have me in their fucking country in Asia and made me acquire their language. They never listened every time I told them how miserable my life was in their country with the language. They never really listened, much less they sought any changes for me. I supposed not to let them dictate the end of my life too.
idc if I hurt my parents or siblings. If it wasn’t for my niece - it would have happened already. That little girl - I can’t hurt. I’m in tears as I post this because I really want out of this life but I can’t because of a 9yr old. Everyday is tough.
A long time ago my doctor asked me why I have not killed myself. I did not really have an answer, so I said "because of my family". I got the impression she believed I was not really serious. I now belive I have not tried harder because I am worried it WON'T work.
I think if someone is very serious about wanting to die, family does not matter.
even if both my parents have caused me severe issues in my development(body image, self esteem, etc) i dont want my mom to take her frustrations out only on my sister, I can live with suffering at least for another month before her boyfriend is back, but I just dont want my sister to suffer. No matter how much I’m threatening, told to kms at school, even if i get physically hurt again by either of my parents, Im not going ti leave my sister alone, but after the tide has cleared, im out. Idk how people with parents who love them can do it, my parents dont really like me that much i think, but im actually planning on giving the people i love my most prized items, all of which contain specific memories,
How do people force others to live knowing that the ones whom they are forcing will be sad?
On top of that, nobody consented to be born and live in this shithole until natural death.
It's like asking how can women refuse sex knowing that men will be sad.
My parents might be sad if I died but they don’t truly love me. They would cry much more for themselves and their own selfishness and eat up all the attention they would get. My mom has encouraged me to self harm before, though she would never admit to anyone she said what she said. Maybe she would admit it if she was angry enough with me in the moment. They don’t know me very well at all in spite of being family. They only ever knew what they wanted me to be, and that I wasn’t it.
Life is suffering but I’m trying every day to suffer more wisely. We often suffer unnecessarily. It’s not our fault. We can keep trying to do better and make small improvements wherever we can.
They don't care for their parents for one reason or another. Maybe their parents are abusive or neglectful, other times it may be because their parent is simply already dead. In any case, there are plenty of factors that go into the 'end it all' decision. For some, perhaps it is not so much that they don't care, but simply feel their suffering is far too much for them to stick around.
Personally and from my own experience I can say that sometimes the pain and the suffering inside of you is greater than the love you have for those that are the most important for you. I unfortunately know a lot of people who’s pain was greater that the pull to stay and it’s so tragic and painful to watch the ones that stayed behind, their hearts broken and mind full of questions they will never get answers for. Suicide is tragic, it’s a death from mental illness and sometimes just like with physical illness, there’s nothing you can do to win over your mental illness.
When you’re living for everyone but yourself it gets so exhausting. I think that’s how people are able to do it knowing people will be sad, they just get too tired and are hurting so badly it eventually stops mattering. I know through my attempts that’s how I’ve felt, too exhausted to think about how it would hurt anyone else. It wasn’t until losing a friend to suicide and losing another friend to an accident that I’ve been able to recognize just how bad it would hurt people, because now I know first hand that it’s a pain that lasts forever.
Yeah... When I was really depressed and suicidal and wanted to end it I couldn't stop thinking about my mom. She had and still has severe depression and she isn't doing fine and I know if I ever killed myself she'd fucking lose it. I don't want ANYONE have to go through the immense pain and sadness of losing someone's own child. I love her so much and I wanna outlive her for her sake.
Mine has life insurance on me so would get quite a lot of money if I died. My dad loves to travel so he would probably just start doing that more. My mom would be sad but now has her first grandchild (my nephew) that she can pour her love into.
I’ve told them before that I want a pretty simple burial (no embalming, no casket, just simply buried under a tree). and just a beautiful celebration of my life. So most of the insurance money will just go to them.
Also, they worry about me a lot and that’s pretty burdensome so it would be less stress on them if I was gone.
My mom is the only reason I'm still here.
I'm an only-child. If I had siblings, she would still have a kid to live for, but if I take myself out, I essentially take her out with me.
So here I am for the foreseeable future. She thinks she's going to die in 3 years because of strange yet so far undeniable coincidences involving a specific number, so we will see.
It can be that the sadness is so intense that it overrides attachment to parents. Some call it selfish, but I don’t see it that way at all. Most who say it have never experienced the pain
When I was at my worst I was in such a state of delusion I kinda lost sight of everything, I didn’t live at home so they didn’t cross my mind much. I guess I didn’t have the capacity for things other than basic survival
Honestly, my mom would be heartbroke but i simply don't feel anything in particular towards her. She manages to irritate me like Noone else which is to be fair probably a coping mechanism on my part and my dad is a piece of shit. So there's that
My dad is dead, my mom gave us up, my grandparents abused me but I still feel responsible for them and I'm constantly battling the urge to commit. The only reason I haven't is because I need to take care of them
at some point if the only reason you're still here is because of them, a lot of people weigh that up and don't feel able to withstand that kind of pressure, it can make all of the feelings of guilt, shame, helplessness, hopelessness and despair worse. living for other people can be a symptom of an unhealthy mind, full of shame and feeling like a burden or like you have to be useful or offer something or serve others in some way, and so if you feel like you're failing at that, it becomes cognitively distorted and you think that they'd be better off if you weren't here being such a useless burden anymore. but those kinds of thoughts are lies, very emotionally heavy lies, and really tricky to escape or rationalise your way out of. so for some people, knowing that they're hurting or would hurt their parents can feed into the ideation spirals.
I love my mom. I know she's a single parent and it is hard but if she's not yelling at me about using something for her, not sharing food I bought and keeping the house the way she likes it . It's always an argument ik she doesn't mean it and won't be able to handle my suicide without doing the same but I'm tired of being happy for everyone else and my dad is just a shitty human being . My mom expects me to function like someone who was not born extremely premmie with physical and mental health issues. I'm tired of the act and I feel like commit suicide is my own way to escape
A friend of mine had an car accident last week and he's in the hospital in tubes. I got to see how bad his parents are sad and worried about him.
Last year I've tried to end my life and had the same health problems that he's having right now, but I stayed in the hospital for almost 1 month with a lot of up and downs. For the last few days I'm feeling pretty bad when I imagine how sad my parents were when I was in the hospital.
Now I'm in ECT treatment and hoping to get better, so I never have to make my parent feel that way again again.
I'm just passively suicidal but I probably would not give a damn. At least about mom (I'm not in terms with her). Dad is kinda absent but I'd leave him a note saying that I'm sorry about being a waste of money and resources and thank him for being decent regardless of not really being there a lot. He was not part of the problem, everything else was.
I just feel like a burden to worry about anyway so maybe it's easyer like that.
I'll draw my savings out in cash and leave most of it for him to fund my funeral and buy himself a boat or something when he retires.
I was beyond feeling sad and was numb and apathetic for months before my last attempt. Apathy landed me closer to death than depression and sadness ever did. Now I’m still alive and feeling feelings again after some therapy, and the overwhelming guilt, shame, and embarrassment around what happened I think will prevent another attempt because I let so many people down and now so many people know my struggles and it sucks.
in my case i just feel like they don't realise that i'm probably just burdening them, however this extends to almost everyone.
but i live to annoy others, so yeah.
Sometimes the suffering can make itself so controlling that it's the only thing the victim thinks about. Other people hate their parents, with some even sourcing their pain from the parents.
after my mother died, i started self harming and may of forever damaged my hearing and hair, the only good thing out of this, it likely hurts less for a child to lose a parent than a parent to lose a child, I was hurt deeply from this, now imagine if the roles were the other way round, it would of been even worse for her.
If you can't live for yourself, live for them.
My friend who did it last year did it after his surviving parent died. It's one of the things that I'm waiting for too, and I am in my fifties and my mother is pushing 80.
Also, I want to split up whatever I will inherit with my kids and my wife. I'm her executor and want them to get their due.
that’s the same reason i don’t do it. i mean, the thoughts will always be there, but my mom’s already dealt with suicide, she can’t handle another heartbreak. my dad messed up a lot in my childhood and i can’t imagine giving him the guilt knowing he’s the reason i’m so fucked up. my sister would become an only child, my boyfriend will never have gotten to see me after the school year ended… there’s just too many people in my life who would care for some godforsaken reason
Good question. I can field this question by stating my father is already dead, and I have no love lost for my mother. She was a bad mother, so I don't care if I'm a bad son.
The only thing that has stopped me in the past from doing it was my mom. If she wasn’t around I would be able to easily look my father in the eye and end it just to make it as traumatizing as possible for him.
I haven't killed myself yet because no way actually worked. My parents kinda controlled my life to reach this precipice. So, no. I don't care if they get sad. Just a hot take coz I had a fucked up childhood.
Lots of people have shitty parents, like mine. They would rather I be dead than transgender. They steal my disability checks and use it to buy shit they don't need. The ONLY reason they'd be sad is because they wouldn't be able to USE me anymore. I can't wait to die, honestly. I'm fucking tired.
How can people open their legs and have sex to birth a human into a mortal existence without their consent? I wouldn’t feel guilty at all, but I understand if people had a decent childhood with decent parents, then maybe
Cause when your dead it doesn't matter if people are sad. You arnt there to experience their sadness.
You're dead, nothing in the universe matters anymore to you.
you don't owe your parents anything. You didn't consent to being born. Guilt as a reason to stay alive is more likely to have a bad result such as resentment and anger towards them. Maybe your life could improve, but if your energy is fueling guilt to keep you in suicide limbo, then not much chance of finding a better reason.
Some parents aren't good. I can't end it especially seeing my dad's reaction just to me being hurt was heartbreaking and I can't hurt him that way again.
My parents tried to make me kill myself. It took 2 different therapists to convince me what kind of people I had been idolizing. I've spent all the years since, working to make sure I am not unconsciously thinking and behaving like them.
Immediate family is the only reason I haven't seriously attempted. When they leave this planet I will be fucked and utterly alone and without a reason to persevere.
My relationship with my mom is the only thing that makes me feel bad about being suicidal.. I just lost my sister a year ago suddenly, it wouldn’t be fair to do that to her again. So I have no choice but to continue suffering alive :(
The only reason I haven’t is because of how I’ll be remembered, or even if I’ll be remembered. I need to know that people will remember me for a long time instead of just being “oh that sucks” and then moving on.
Yeah idk. My family is what's mostly stopping me and in particular my 3 year old nephew. I don't want him to grow up and me being the family member that should've/would've been here/if I were here I would've done this, etc.
As someone also struggling it's easier said than done. You have to look at the feelings they might have and tell yourself that they don't care. Even if you know they do. I look at many people that care and I look at all they've said and thought: "Hey they don't actually care about me...this is all about them!" Knowing this is true though I still like to hold some hope or belief in mankind. I'm utterly alone and in enough emotional pain that the slightest issue sends me into a spiral. But I still love the people of the world even though they won't ever love me as I am or accept me. Because I get where they come from. It's a tough life, a tough world and almost everyone wants only the best or only cares about themselves, because they have to or they won't survive. Just like I'm barely making it.
Same for me. My parents, my brother and girlfriend are the only thing keeping me alive to be honestly. I'm sorry that you feel this way, I know what that is like and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
Never really had either. Have had “figures”!of such, if they were going through something I fought to at least make it through with them.
Sometimes the pain is too great that everything else becomes meaningless, or only obstacles.
How do people force others to live knowing that the ones whom they are forcing will be sad?
On top of that, nobody consented to be born and live in this shithole until natural death.
The only thing that's kept me alive for so long is my Aunt, cousins, and mom, but it's gotten to the point I can't keep living for them anymore :( I'm planning to go through with my plan this week possibly even today and thinking about what it's going to do to them kills me but I'm too sick
I've had enough trauma in my life, both physical and emotional. I'm not happy with my life, I'm tired. And I do think of suicide every day. But I can't, I just can't.
The reason is my family. I have a loving family, parents, sister, aunts, cousins, and I love them (despite never saying it to them). Especially my mom who supports me In every way she can and listens to my struggles.
Still, I believe I'm long gone and I want a way out, and can't because it would hurt them the most. I don't know how to live like this.
My Mum is the only thing stopping me right now, but I'm getting to the point where I can't live for her anymore. I feel it will be a weight off of her shoulders if I do, as she is upset at seeing me so sad
I'm literally going through the same things you do, my friend
I'm sorry you feel the same way. I don't want to put her through anymore pain (my Dad died 4 years ago) and I know she would struggle. I just feel I want her to enjoy her later years in life, without feeling she's got me to worry about
Yea, literally the same thought process.
If you feel she's upset at seeing you sad, imagine how upset she'd be if she saw you dead. She's sad because she wants you to live the best life you can.
Thank you, I just feel such a failure
I held off because my mom was dying of cancer. And then my dad died from the same exact cancer. I was actually going to do it a few days ago. But something stopped me.
God I missed liking my parents because it's all I fucking had
Zero chance itll be a weight off their shoulders
[удалено]
I’m sorry you’re not okay and struggling too. Thank you, your kind words mean a lot. I don’t want to put her through it but I’m petrified of what I’ll do if something happens to her. She’s my only safety, but even now as I type, I feel guilty for everything I am putting her through now. The only way I can stop my mind is by doing the one thing that’ll destroy her.
I hope you get better :)
I know that I would never commit suicide because I don't want to hurt my kids. But that doesn't mean I don't want to.
Bro, You got anything to talk about? I am all ears. I have been suicidal for some time as well but I feel like Life is one of the rarest of the chance of probabilities, and living on this beautiful planet sans cruel system is a blessing in itself. Your mother doesn’t deserve to cry, shed tears over your corpse. Life is more than all this.
Thank you. I hate my new job and I left the one before that quite quickly too. I can’t seem to find a good fit. My old company sold the business so I had to take something, since then I’ve gone from one job to this and neither are working out. Work was always my passion and I dread it. I was told a very different story for this job and I’m alone without training. I’ve struggled with anxiety for so many years and have been in and out of therapy. I lost my Dad and never really dealt with this. Then I’ve just been through a gut wrenching breakup. We had to split up because of the circumstances and neither of us wanted it. I’ve lost the love of my life because people don’t approve. I just can’t carry on and don’t know what to do
90% of your depression is due to career, and I can understand that as well, Like I am quite ambitious, trying to excel yet I get frustrated a lot. But it’s OK. Most of the times, we get too obsessed and want immodest results without going through the actual path which is the fun part (if you try to think of it like that). I lost my dad too, it was sudden, 4 years ago during covid while I was finishing college. I got messed up too. Now think what will happen to your mom?
My parents treat me like an object, not a person. They have a concept in their head about who I am and what I can be; both of which don’t align with reality. The longer I stay alive, the more frustrated they get that I’m not living up to their expectation. I’m a massive disappointment to them, a stain on their otherwise idyllic family portrait. I’m doing them a favor by removing myself from their lives. I won’t be the kid they’re ashamed of. I’ll be the kid with a mental health problem who didn’t get enough help. They’ll still avoid talking about me, but it’s more socially acceptable to avoid talking about death than it is the family screw up. In my mind, the heartbreak they’ll feel from my passing will always be less than the heartbreak I cause them on a daily basis.
Same
I remember hearing the quote: Better to spite then let them be right|
I don't have any emotional attachment to my parents.
Exactly, my dad killed himself when I was 11 and my mom shipped me off to live with relatives. She'd be sad but I don't care.
exactly. my parents are the main reason i want to go
me too
For some people, it doesn’t feel like our parents (or anyone else really) care or would be sad if we did end it or die somehow, esp when said parents make you feel like a burden for being alive even if they do care but just suck at showing it or are misguided.
for me my perspective changed and I see suicide as a selfless act not a selfish one. i am exhausted and and tired. emotionally physically and financially. my loved ones will need to understand
same! I cant help but judge people who think that killing yourself is a worst thing a person can do and is a selfish act. But tbh, its not. Its about finally being free. and freeing people of yourself. Its a selfless act not a selfish one.
i should start a podcast tbh
because idgaf how they feel. they have made me feel this way.
this.
The fact I wouldn’t be there to see their pain
My parents don’t care about me at all
Some people just reach a point where the just don’t care anymore. It’s just cuz you care ma man bout yo family. Also means you’ve got great parents that care boutcha, tons. Talk to em, maybe they can help ya.
I mean my parents are awful people and they’re crazy so I don’t care about how they would feel
literally
sometimes I feel like they don’t care that’s why I want to commit suicide. I know they love me though, it’s confusing. But it’s like a cognitive distortion or something that makes some people,perceive that others are against them and don’t truly want to help them but I don’t like seeing how my problems cause others distress. and I don’t want to be such a burden on wasting all their money and effort when I’m not getting better.
Some people would rather find a means to end their suffering than try to live one more day for the sake of their loved ones. It's hard sometimes
It sounds like your parents are a good support system, you should see if (maybe in not to many words to them, unless you're desperate) you can see if they'll help you? My parents personally flip flop between needing to do things to "protect" me from killing myself because they "love" me. To telling me I'm a burden on them and the family, after I've told them countless times that feeling like a burden is what triggers my suicidal ideations
Because they can go fuck themselves. They suck, I wouldn't stay alive and suffer because of some assholes who birthed me. I don't owe them anything and I want them to be sad
Because our parents are the reason we wanna kill ourselves in the first place? Lmao
Most of the reasons I want to end it are related to my parents and childhood. I love my parents, but honestly I couldn't care less about them finding out I killed myself. They think I'm going to Hell anyway for being gay so maybe they'd be happy lol.
thats so sad. I think its sad that some people believe that being gay is sinful and can cause one to go to hell. That is not the Jesus I believe in.
everyone in my life will someday move on and forget all the pain
Because you're selfless. You care, and that should tell you that you're worth something. What if you found meaning next week? If you found the strength to bear this, could you live a life worth living in your estimation? I dare you try. I'm going to anyway. Worst that can happen is I fail again, it hurts again, I'm hardened for it. There's no lower state of consciousness than wanting to die. At least we can find comfort knowing where rock bottom is. And if this doesn't break you, consider yourself invincible.
My parents are both dead. I don't even know what I'm waiting for
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Exactly. Other peoples' feelings are not going to make you feel any better. My brother knew that all too well. I miss him but I understand why he committed suicide, at least in that though people loved him, it wasn't enough. I definitely know what that feels like.
In all honesty it don't matter what the parents think they brought the kid into this world involuntarily yes you did good but still we don't wanna fight through this pile of crap covered in pretty ribbons and bows and find treasure to most its just crap lol
I don’t think I would be as suicidal as I am right now if I didn’t think my parents’ lives would be better if I was gone
i mean if i had to be honestly and i may sound horrible but i really dont care. my life is so painful, i hate waking up everyday that if their sad so be it. if i can end my suffering im okay with it. theyll get over my death. and i may sound selfish but i dont care. we were put into this world for what? why are we forced to be here and not even allowed to die.
Meanwhile, mines will be happy. So, I won't do it.🌚
Same! 😂
The pain outweighs your thoughts about what happens after
Some ppl have awful parents, this is gonna be dark, but if there’s one thing that makes me a bit giddy about offing myself is know how miserable my dad will be, he deserves to be so miserable and me doing it would be just the right thing for him to snap out of his Neanderthal mindset, I’d leave a letter and everything, every single thing he has done to hurt me there, imagine going public with everything he has done with me and his life to be in shambles? God it would be amazing He “jokes” that he doesn’t have any guilt / I can’t blame him if I ever kill myself (I never commented about my tendencies, he just dropped that out of the blue in arguments and conversations) I’d love to prove him wrong sometimes What stops me from doing it it’s my sisters and mom, mom has a very unstable health condition and any stress can make her immune system go insane, I think she would die right after me, and to leave my sisters alone with my dad is just plain cruel If my mom ever dies and sisters find husbands or wife’s whom are stable / to have a good life with, then it’s bye bye time
Their parents should have tried harder to make them feel better, then.
Their parents are most likely devastated by the loss. With the exception of maybe abusive ones, all parents are winging it with their kids. They aren’t the experts in everything that their kids may think they are and also go through their own stuff, their kids just may never see it.
Because the only thing you feel is pain and suffering, there's nothing left
I know it’s very selfish, but the way I see it, that won’t really matter to me if I’m dead.
Good thing my parents are 2 of the reasons I want to kill Myself.
Same way parents do knowing their kids will be sad. You hit the end, you hit it. I try keeping it at arms length. Sometimes that arm bends ...
My will to live for others is non existent, no matter if they are my parents. I can't bring myself to live since I'm pretty much screwed in anything
Because I am in such excruciating and unbearable pain. I believe I will be in more peace (heaven or just not dealing with depression, anxiety, and BPD) and my parents know I love them very much, but I can’t stay alive for someone else, it will never be true happiness
I don't believe my parents would feel any sadness now, and in retrospect I don't think they ever would have, but as a child I justified it with 'they'd be sad, then they'd realise how good they have it when they don't have to deal with my bullshit and they'd be happier than ever'
Idc. They're both married. So are all my siblings. Here I am a guy that works out everyday, 3 years sober, and things don't get better. I'm still alone. Nobody hits my phone up. Nobody asks if I'm okay. Why does it matter what they think?
I’m in the same predicament right now I just talked to my parents for the last time knowing how much I’m going to hurt them…. But I can’t keep going on
You can't never know... but I know a lot of people -and I include myself too- that at least the thought of a mother figure suffering stops people from doing it. Last time I tried, I cried out of frustration because I wanted to do it, but my mom popping in my head couldn't let me finish doing it. As for the latter question... I don't have an answer and I feel like I too need to know. Edit: Honestly if I lived with my father I woulda off myself years ago, as he suggested me to do it.
Thank you for your response
my mother is the one causing it lmao
Some people's parents don't care, ever think of that? My parents treated me like shit my entire life up till now. I did all they asked, all they wanted, and they kicked me out to the curb when I got into a fight. They have NEVER cared about my feelings, so why should I care about theirs?
Me personally I say "I won't be here to see them sad"
Because it has nothing to do with anyone else, it's about your suffering. I have schizoaffective and it impairs your ability to feel empathy as well. I don't care who I hurt with my death that's my decision if I don't want to fucking suffer anymore like I do every single day of this miserable existence.
Because this is my life, not theirs. They didn't ask my permission when they decided to have me in their fucking country in Asia and made me acquire their language. They never listened every time I told them how miserable my life was in their country with the language. They never really listened, much less they sought any changes for me. I supposed not to let them dictate the end of my life too.
My parentss abandoned me so I don't care anymore
Sad my ass
Some are pushed to that place by their parents.
My parents abused me, and i know they wouldn't be sad at all. Problem is i am afraid of death
idc if I hurt my parents or siblings. If it wasn’t for my niece - it would have happened already. That little girl - I can’t hurt. I’m in tears as I post this because I really want out of this life but I can’t because of a 9yr old. Everyday is tough.
A long time ago my doctor asked me why I have not killed myself. I did not really have an answer, so I said "because of my family". I got the impression she believed I was not really serious. I now belive I have not tried harder because I am worried it WON'T work. I think if someone is very serious about wanting to die, family does not matter.
even if both my parents have caused me severe issues in my development(body image, self esteem, etc) i dont want my mom to take her frustrations out only on my sister, I can live with suffering at least for another month before her boyfriend is back, but I just dont want my sister to suffer. No matter how much I’m threatening, told to kms at school, even if i get physically hurt again by either of my parents, Im not going ti leave my sister alone, but after the tide has cleared, im out. Idk how people with parents who love them can do it, my parents dont really like me that much i think, but im actually planning on giving the people i love my most prized items, all of which contain specific memories,
How do people force others to live knowing that the ones whom they are forcing will be sad? On top of that, nobody consented to be born and live in this shithole until natural death. It's like asking how can women refuse sex knowing that men will be sad.
I will be dead, why should I care?
My parents might be sad if I died but they don’t truly love me. They would cry much more for themselves and their own selfishness and eat up all the attention they would get. My mom has encouraged me to self harm before, though she would never admit to anyone she said what she said. Maybe she would admit it if she was angry enough with me in the moment. They don’t know me very well at all in spite of being family. They only ever knew what they wanted me to be, and that I wasn’t it. Life is suffering but I’m trying every day to suffer more wisely. We often suffer unnecessarily. It’s not our fault. We can keep trying to do better and make small improvements wherever we can.
making my parents sad is an incentive. we all live very different lives.
They don't care for their parents for one reason or another. Maybe their parents are abusive or neglectful, other times it may be because their parent is simply already dead. In any case, there are plenty of factors that go into the 'end it all' decision. For some, perhaps it is not so much that they don't care, but simply feel their suffering is far too much for them to stick around.
Forcing someone to live in pain because you would be sad if they died is emotional blackmail.
Personally and from my own experience I can say that sometimes the pain and the suffering inside of you is greater than the love you have for those that are the most important for you. I unfortunately know a lot of people who’s pain was greater that the pull to stay and it’s so tragic and painful to watch the ones that stayed behind, their hearts broken and mind full of questions they will never get answers for. Suicide is tragic, it’s a death from mental illness and sometimes just like with physical illness, there’s nothing you can do to win over your mental illness.
When you’re living for everyone but yourself it gets so exhausting. I think that’s how people are able to do it knowing people will be sad, they just get too tired and are hurting so badly it eventually stops mattering. I know through my attempts that’s how I’ve felt, too exhausted to think about how it would hurt anyone else. It wasn’t until losing a friend to suicide and losing another friend to an accident that I’ve been able to recognize just how bad it would hurt people, because now I know first hand that it’s a pain that lasts forever.
When I was a kid, I wanted to die. I knew my parents would be sad, but I was just in so much emotional and mental turmoil I just wanted out.
This this was my stance. I just wanted the pain to end.
cuz they know they will move on or they know that they dont care
Why do you assume everyone has family?
How could parents bring their children into this sick world just becos theyre horny and stabbing each other genital?
My mom is long gone and my dad estranged. That said, even if I knew them, the pain would outweigh it.
Not everyone has parents that are living
Yeah... When I was really depressed and suicidal and wanted to end it I couldn't stop thinking about my mom. She had and still has severe depression and she isn't doing fine and I know if I ever killed myself she'd fucking lose it. I don't want ANYONE have to go through the immense pain and sadness of losing someone's own child. I love her so much and I wanna outlive her for her sake.
Mine has life insurance on me so would get quite a lot of money if I died. My dad loves to travel so he would probably just start doing that more. My mom would be sad but now has her first grandchild (my nephew) that she can pour her love into. I’ve told them before that I want a pretty simple burial (no embalming, no casket, just simply buried under a tree). and just a beautiful celebration of my life. So most of the insurance money will just go to them. Also, they worry about me a lot and that’s pretty burdensome so it would be less stress on them if I was gone.
I wanted to kill myself because of my parents lol
i wouldn't know. my parents wouldn't be sad if i kill myself.
My mom is the only reason I'm still here. I'm an only-child. If I had siblings, she would still have a kid to live for, but if I take myself out, I essentially take her out with me. So here I am for the foreseeable future. She thinks she's going to die in 3 years because of strange yet so far undeniable coincidences involving a specific number, so we will see.
I’m an only child as well
It can be that the sadness is so intense that it overrides attachment to parents. Some call it selfish, but I don’t see it that way at all. Most who say it have never experienced the pain
When I was at my worst I was in such a state of delusion I kinda lost sight of everything, I didn’t live at home so they didn’t cross my mind much. I guess I didn’t have the capacity for things other than basic survival
Parents are part of the reason?
Honestly, my mom would be heartbroke but i simply don't feel anything in particular towards her. She manages to irritate me like Noone else which is to be fair probably a coping mechanism on my part and my dad is a piece of shit. So there's that
My dad is dead, my mom gave us up, my grandparents abused me but I still feel responsible for them and I'm constantly battling the urge to commit. The only reason I haven't is because I need to take care of them
My parents are the ones keeping me here. Otherwise I would've left a long time ago
I don’t really care about my parents feelings tbh but I’m mainly alive to ensure their belongings don’t go into the wrong hands
Well my dad isn’t in my life and my mom is a narcissist. The only one who would be sad is my grandpa
Because they’re half my reasoning of doing so. They also wouldn’t give two shits.
at some point if the only reason you're still here is because of them, a lot of people weigh that up and don't feel able to withstand that kind of pressure, it can make all of the feelings of guilt, shame, helplessness, hopelessness and despair worse. living for other people can be a symptom of an unhealthy mind, full of shame and feeling like a burden or like you have to be useful or offer something or serve others in some way, and so if you feel like you're failing at that, it becomes cognitively distorted and you think that they'd be better off if you weren't here being such a useless burden anymore. but those kinds of thoughts are lies, very emotionally heavy lies, and really tricky to escape or rationalise your way out of. so for some people, knowing that they're hurting or would hurt their parents can feed into the ideation spirals.
I love my mom. I know she's a single parent and it is hard but if she's not yelling at me about using something for her, not sharing food I bought and keeping the house the way she likes it . It's always an argument ik she doesn't mean it and won't be able to handle my suicide without doing the same but I'm tired of being happy for everyone else and my dad is just a shitty human being . My mom expects me to function like someone who was not born extremely premmie with physical and mental health issues. I'm tired of the act and I feel like commit suicide is my own way to escape
A friend of mine had an car accident last week and he's in the hospital in tubes. I got to see how bad his parents are sad and worried about him. Last year I've tried to end my life and had the same health problems that he's having right now, but I stayed in the hospital for almost 1 month with a lot of up and downs. For the last few days I'm feeling pretty bad when I imagine how sad my parents were when I was in the hospital. Now I'm in ECT treatment and hoping to get better, so I never have to make my parent feel that way again again.
I know my parents would be sad, but they'll get over it once they realize they have no reason to be sad since I'm useless to them
I'm just passively suicidal but I probably would not give a damn. At least about mom (I'm not in terms with her). Dad is kinda absent but I'd leave him a note saying that I'm sorry about being a waste of money and resources and thank him for being decent regardless of not really being there a lot. He was not part of the problem, everything else was. I just feel like a burden to worry about anyway so maybe it's easyer like that. I'll draw my savings out in cash and leave most of it for him to fund my funeral and buy himself a boat or something when he retires.
I live in spite of people honestly
I was beyond feeling sad and was numb and apathetic for months before my last attempt. Apathy landed me closer to death than depression and sadness ever did. Now I’m still alive and feeling feelings again after some therapy, and the overwhelming guilt, shame, and embarrassment around what happened I think will prevent another attempt because I let so many people down and now so many people know my struggles and it sucks.
in my case i just feel like they don't realise that i'm probably just burdening them, however this extends to almost everyone. but i live to annoy others, so yeah.
Sometimes the suffering can make itself so controlling that it's the only thing the victim thinks about. Other people hate their parents, with some even sourcing their pain from the parents.
i feel useless to them so i don’t think they’ll care too much
Y'all ever feel mad at your parents for having you even born I did once but I forgave them
after my mother died, i started self harming and may of forever damaged my hearing and hair, the only good thing out of this, it likely hurts less for a child to lose a parent than a parent to lose a child, I was hurt deeply from this, now imagine if the roles were the other way round, it would of been even worse for her. If you can't live for yourself, live for them.
They don’t
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My friend who did it last year did it after his surviving parent died. It's one of the things that I'm waiting for too, and I am in my fifties and my mother is pushing 80. Also, I want to split up whatever I will inherit with my kids and my wife. I'm her executor and want them to get their due.
That's what really prevented me from doing it when I was younger. I just couldn't imagine them having to go through that. I'm so glad I didn't.
that’s the same reason i don’t do it. i mean, the thoughts will always be there, but my mom’s already dealt with suicide, she can’t handle another heartbreak. my dad messed up a lot in my childhood and i can’t imagine giving him the guilt knowing he’s the reason i’m so fucked up. my sister would become an only child, my boyfriend will never have gotten to see me after the school year ended… there’s just too many people in my life who would care for some godforsaken reason
Good question. I can field this question by stating my father is already dead, and I have no love lost for my mother. She was a bad mother, so I don't care if I'm a bad son.
Family is why I haven't killed myself yet
The only thing that has stopped me in the past from doing it was my mom. If she wasn’t around I would be able to easily look my father in the eye and end it just to make it as traumatizing as possible for him.
I haven't killed myself yet because no way actually worked. My parents kinda controlled my life to reach this precipice. So, no. I don't care if they get sad. Just a hot take coz I had a fucked up childhood.
At my lowest, the thought of my kids missing me is what stops me from killing myself
My real parents have been dead since I was 20. I have no one left to live for.
Lots of people have shitty parents, like mine. They would rather I be dead than transgender. They steal my disability checks and use it to buy shit they don't need. The ONLY reason they'd be sad is because they wouldn't be able to USE me anymore. I can't wait to die, honestly. I'm fucking tired.
How can people open their legs and have sex to birth a human into a mortal existence without their consent? I wouldn’t feel guilty at all, but I understand if people had a decent childhood with decent parents, then maybe
Cause when your dead it doesn't matter if people are sad. You arnt there to experience their sadness. You're dead, nothing in the universe matters anymore to you.
you don't owe your parents anything. You didn't consent to being born. Guilt as a reason to stay alive is more likely to have a bad result such as resentment and anger towards them. Maybe your life could improve, but if your energy is fueling guilt to keep you in suicide limbo, then not much chance of finding a better reason.
I don’t care
Some parents aren't good. I can't end it especially seeing my dad's reaction just to me being hurt was heartbreaking and I can't hurt him that way again.
My dad is the biggest reason I want to die more times than not.
Luckily I don't have parents but my kids & best friend are the only reasons why I will forever stay until my time comes naturally.
I won’t pretend to know the answer but I will say not everyone’s parents are good people so it would not be enough to stop me personally.
My parents focus on my Brother more Then me. The main thing keeping me here is Fear And my Friends.
My parents tried to make me kill myself. It took 2 different therapists to convince me what kind of people I had been idolizing. I've spent all the years since, working to make sure I am not unconsciously thinking and behaving like them.
Immediate family is the only reason I haven't seriously attempted. When they leave this planet I will be fucked and utterly alone and without a reason to persevere.
I fuckinf hate my mom. But I would never want my dad to be hurt if I killed myself.
I figure my parents have each other. I sometimes beg my husband to leave me and find someone else, so that I can die without worrying about him.
My relationship with my mom is the only thing that makes me feel bad about being suicidal.. I just lost my sister a year ago suddenly, it wouldn’t be fair to do that to her again. So I have no choice but to continue suffering alive :(
The only reason I haven’t is because of how I’ll be remembered, or even if I’ll be remembered. I need to know that people will remember me for a long time instead of just being “oh that sucks” and then moving on.
Yeah idk. My family is what's mostly stopping me and in particular my 3 year old nephew. I don't want him to grow up and me being the family member that should've/would've been here/if I were here I would've done this, etc.
Because they will die too, someday. And it won’t really have mattered, the same way it won’t really matter for me :)
As someone also struggling it's easier said than done. You have to look at the feelings they might have and tell yourself that they don't care. Even if you know they do. I look at many people that care and I look at all they've said and thought: "Hey they don't actually care about me...this is all about them!" Knowing this is true though I still like to hold some hope or belief in mankind. I'm utterly alone and in enough emotional pain that the slightest issue sends me into a spiral. But I still love the people of the world even though they won't ever love me as I am or accept me. Because I get where they come from. It's a tough life, a tough world and almost everyone wants only the best or only cares about themselves, because they have to or they won't survive. Just like I'm barely making it.
Same for me. My parents, my brother and girlfriend are the only thing keeping me alive to be honestly. I'm sorry that you feel this way, I know what that is like and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
I hate my fucking parents
Easy, mine wont be.
Never really had either. Have had “figures”!of such, if they were going through something I fought to at least make it through with them. Sometimes the pain is too great that everything else becomes meaningless, or only obstacles.
How do people force others to live knowing that the ones whom they are forcing will be sad? On top of that, nobody consented to be born and live in this shithole until natural death.
The only thing that's kept me alive for so long is my Aunt, cousins, and mom, but it's gotten to the point I can't keep living for them anymore :( I'm planning to go through with my plan this week possibly even today and thinking about what it's going to do to them kills me but I'm too sick
I hate having to wait just so I don't break their hearts or crush their souls
I've had enough trauma in my life, both physical and emotional. I'm not happy with my life, I'm tired. And I do think of suicide every day. But I can't, I just can't. The reason is my family. I have a loving family, parents, sister, aunts, cousins, and I love them (despite never saying it to them). Especially my mom who supports me In every way she can and listens to my struggles. Still, I believe I'm long gone and I want a way out, and can't because it would hurt them the most. I don't know how to live like this.
It wouldn't matter because I'd be dead.
I used to think they and everyone would be better off without me alive