I’m a woman but the unapologetic hedonist is me exactly I’ve never known how to describe myself thanks for giving it a name! I enjoyed reading your list those guys wouldn’t be my cup of tea (I prefer sub/switch/vanilla guys) but they sound fun!
Having traditnal gender roles in a relationship doesn't mean you're hounded by toxic masculinity. You both get to choose that if you want that. It's more about being generally fragile and gross.
Well done!!! I'll take the masculine men. If you don't like dicks, you aren't queerphobic. It just means you don't like dicks. But that's good, because I DO!! OP can have the others
It's not a sacrifice. I do so enjoy it!! Don't believe the white noise. Most of us don't want a guy wearing a tutu and fairy wings. Drink a beer, fix some shit, have some balls and tell me what you want from me. That's what a man is. That's what we like.
Your bias is showing. She didn’t say shit about gay men, she said she wanted a masculine man, not an effeminate one. You’re the one that assumed effeminate=gay. Why is it that the people who shout the most about how open minded they are tend to believe the stereotypes the hardest?
I dunno, I read that as: she doesn’t need him to suck cock to be interested in him as a partner. I took her comments about masculinity as a part of her “white noise” comment.
I don’t think that’s the conversation they were having. They were talking about a preference for masculine men. There was nothing to imply that anyone believed that straight men can’t be effeminate, or that masculine men can’t be not-straight.
"Most of us don't want a guy wearing a tutu and fairy wings. Drink a beer, fix some shit, have some balls and tell me what you want from me. That's what a man is. That's what we like."
^^
Yeah I do. It makes you seem uneducated, ignorant and sheltered. who doesn't know a masc gay man in 2023 except for the types that feed their kids meat from cans and vote for rapists?
I mean, if you enjoy those things, go for it!
We're all allowed preferences.
Like OP, I've found that those traits tend to make for very unfun sexy times, but to each their own, genuinely.
I think u/fugum1 was referencing the fact that those currently popular terms are often used in a derogatory manner towards men who are none of those things by people who disagree with their opinions or preferences. Like you said, we’re all allowed preferences.
A lot of men are quite confused, because neither emotional vulnerability nor fragile masculinity are clearly defined. They often feel like they get punished for trying to be vulnerable about their weaknesses.
Maybe you could clarify your meaning of the two terms?
You are correct, these are blanket terms people use if they disagree with your way of thinking. I've found that almost 100% of people who these words/phrases are people I don't care to hang around.
And adding phobic to the end of any word? Are there really people who are afraid of what you do/are/like? Most of the people in the lifestyle are very non judgmental and couldn't give a shit what your sexual preferences are. They may not partake in them, but they don't care what you do.
Nope. The swinging world us known for its beef with progression. The type of homophobic and racist language I've seen in this sub alone is like something out of their 1960s. A lot of really ignorant religious Americans spreading the gospel.
The problem is if you are always prepared and waiting to be offended, you’ll often find offense everywhere. It doesn’t really matter where you fall on the issue, if you look for it, you find it. Sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Besides, I’d bet many of the things you’ve “seen in this sub” weren’t intended at all in that manner, but weren’t worded in a way you find acceptable. Help the sub, instead of just dismissing and trashing people, maybe help us all out by pointing out how or why their language isn’t inclusive.
I commented on your other post, I'm following up here....tbh I'm actually ok with your other post, no matter what you ultimately do or don't do with whatever type of guy isn't my business or concern. Just the simple fact that you're thinking about what you like and don't like and expressing it so beautifully to those of us in this community means alot in itself. Thank you.
Thanks always wondered as I've not much thought about it but have thought on occasion what I am because I'm just me and love sex and do what comes naturally = Overt Dom
Here's a question from a newbie- is there any sort of fashion/clothing that helps put a man into the "enjoyed guys" camp? My husband is slowly working on his fashion choices, but inevitably defaults to my opinion a lot. Any knowledge helps :)
I’m a woman but the unapologetic hedonist is me exactly I’ve never known how to describe myself thanks for giving it a name! I enjoyed reading your list those guys wouldn’t be my cup of tea (I prefer sub/switch/vanilla guys) but they sound fun!
I also enjoy a switch. My partner is switchy. Makes it easier to match other people too. So many options!
Nice!
Gotten way above my pay grade for being funny and listening.
Funny guy, checking in. If you don't like a smile and a crisp high five while we are spit roasting one of the women, we aren't the couple for you 😂
Funny gets me every time.
As long as the lettuce falling on your back from my big Mac doesn't make you upset this could work
You'll get a stitch! We can order mac ds after.
OK OK you only get the special sauce before dinner
I agree with all of these! My husband is an unapologetic hedonist and I never thought of describing him that way 😋
The "covert dom" is my husband 💯
My personal fav
10 day old troll account....boring.
Al l reasonable and like you said, you like what you like.
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Nice - You crack me up.
Having traditnal gender roles in a relationship doesn't mean you're hounded by toxic masculinity. You both get to choose that if you want that. It's more about being generally fragile and gross.
Well done!!! I'll take the masculine men. If you don't like dicks, you aren't queerphobic. It just means you don't like dicks. But that's good, because I DO!! OP can have the others
I don't mind guys who don't like dicks. I just don't like bigots who make the lives of queer people harder
Concur. And not to mention we do enjoy fucking other people while we're married, thus we're a pretty open minded bunch. As are queer and gay men.
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It's not a sacrifice. I do so enjoy it!! Don't believe the white noise. Most of us don't want a guy wearing a tutu and fairy wings. Drink a beer, fix some shit, have some balls and tell me what you want from me. That's what a man is. That's what we like.
Do you think all queer guys present in an effeminate way? That kind of thinking makes me think you must be unfuckable
Your bias is showing. She didn’t say shit about gay men, she said she wanted a masculine man, not an effeminate one. You’re the one that assumed effeminate=gay. Why is it that the people who shout the most about how open minded they are tend to believe the stereotypes the hardest?
The entire context of the conversation is that masc men don't suck cock.
I dunno, I read that as: she doesn’t need him to suck cock to be interested in him as a partner. I took her comments about masculinity as a part of her “white noise” comment.
I don’t think that’s the conversation they were having. They were talking about a preference for masculine men. There was nothing to imply that anyone believed that straight men can’t be effeminate, or that masculine men can’t be not-straight.
"Most of us don't want a guy wearing a tutu and fairy wings. Drink a beer, fix some shit, have some balls and tell me what you want from me. That's what a man is. That's what we like." ^^
Lol yeah toots. Keep believing that
Yeah I do. It makes you seem uneducated, ignorant and sheltered. who doesn't know a masc gay man in 2023 except for the types that feed their kids meat from cans and vote for rapists?
I'm the CEO of a medium size company. Highly educated and just fed up with stupidity. Read you
Anyone can own a company. You're ignorant as as shit
And you own a mansion and a yacht 🤣
Yeah, you lost me at toxic masculinity, general fragility, and queerphobic.
I mean, if you enjoy those things, go for it! We're all allowed preferences. Like OP, I've found that those traits tend to make for very unfun sexy times, but to each their own, genuinely.
I think u/fugum1 was referencing the fact that those currently popular terms are often used in a derogatory manner towards men who are none of those things by people who disagree with their opinions or preferences. Like you said, we’re all allowed preferences.
BINGO.
I use it towards unfuckable men with shitty values.
Question. Is general fragility the same thing as emotionally vulnerable?
No. But asking that question is kind of a red flag for fragility. Why would you think being emotionally vulnerable would male you fragile?
A lot of men are quite confused, because neither emotional vulnerability nor fragile masculinity are clearly defined. They often feel like they get punished for trying to be vulnerable about their weaknesses. Maybe you could clarify your meaning of the two terms?
Lol, really? Why would that be a red flag? Why are you assuming that I'm talking about me?
Absolutely. Happens every single day. It's just the words of the day that get thrown out when somebody says something they don't agree with.
You are correct, these are blanket terms people use if they disagree with your way of thinking. I've found that almost 100% of people who these words/phrases are people I don't care to hang around. And adding phobic to the end of any word? Are there really people who are afraid of what you do/are/like? Most of the people in the lifestyle are very non judgmental and couldn't give a shit what your sexual preferences are. They may not partake in them, but they don't care what you do.
Nope. The swinging world us known for its beef with progression. The type of homophobic and racist language I've seen in this sub alone is like something out of their 1960s. A lot of really ignorant religious Americans spreading the gospel.
The problem is if you are always prepared and waiting to be offended, you’ll often find offense everywhere. It doesn’t really matter where you fall on the issue, if you look for it, you find it. Sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Besides, I’d bet many of the things you’ve “seen in this sub” weren’t intended at all in that manner, but weren’t worded in a way you find acceptable. Help the sub, instead of just dismissing and trashing people, maybe help us all out by pointing out how or why their language isn’t inclusive.
No the ideas behind the words are gross. No 2 ways about it.
Ironically anyone who gets their panties in a bunch over these terms being used is showing their frailty & bigotry.
I commented on your other post, I'm following up here....tbh I'm actually ok with your other post, no matter what you ultimately do or don't do with whatever type of guy isn't my business or concern. Just the simple fact that you're thinking about what you like and don't like and expressing it so beautifully to those of us in this community means alot in itself. Thank you.
Totally stealing the Unapologetic Hedonist for myself! I’m a woman, and trying to find a “label” that fits me has been hard. I love this.
I bet your large with purple hair and a nose ring
Nope. No piercings or tattoos. Brown and curvy. Big tits. Great hair .Out of your league
I really like your posts and wish you hadn’t deleted the last one :)
Huh I didn't
Thanks always wondered as I've not much thought about it but have thought on occasion what I am because I'm just me and love sex and do what comes naturally = Overt Dom
Hedonist and overt dom holler for photos
The unfuckables are sure showing themselves on this thread
I Like this post
Here's a question from a newbie- is there any sort of fashion/clothing that helps put a man into the "enjoyed guys" camp? My husband is slowly working on his fashion choices, but inevitably defaults to my opinion a lot. Any knowledge helps :)
Not for me. I like people who dress how they feel comfortable. Being able to match clothes is a win. I like people to be themselves.
I married an Unapologetic Hedonist, and he’s amazing in all the ways. 😍