When I leave work in the morning, and a female guest walks out the front door ahead of me I wait a minute in the lobby.
No one likes to find a large man walking behind them to the parking lot, and no matter how disinterested in all of humanity I am after clocking out I know I will be seen as something bad by a stranger.
Men have NO FUCKING IDEA how creepy they can be without realizing it. He thinks "I was just making conversation!" OR "I didn't say anything bad!"
Meanwhile we are thinking : "Oh great! He knows what my car looks like! Will he try to follow me home and murder me?"
Luckily my apartment parking tag just says ID # 12345678. It doesn't say the complex name.
Yeah, I literally didn't understand this post. I was like "what's creepy about it?" until I read your comment.
It's actually horrifying how modern society created this paranoia.
If women are automatically scared by any and every man they see at night, it's a "modern society" problem.
And since 99% of these men are absolutely harmless and not-monsters-at-all, it's paranoia.
Not a modern issue. When women used to wear hats they would have leathally long, thick hat pins for men who got handsy. Pull out the hat pin and stab the guy. Wasn't normally leathal, but it did stop they guy.
Ask any woman how often she has been in an uncomfortable or unsafe situation. For many it is daily. For more it is weekly.
We have to assume all men are monsters. It’s the only way to ensure our safety.
How are we to know who's the "1%" bad guy?
You're given a bowl of candy. Some are poisoned. How much of the candy are you gonna eat? I mean, most of it is fine, take a handful!
The fact that you didn't understand why OP was creeped out (or accept that her story was valid) and that you're arguing with me now instead of saying something like "hm, never thought about it that way before" means you're not even in your own "99%" group (and that "statistic" is very high, btw).
I accept the story as kinda valid.
I'm just sad about the state of society.
ETA: And how am I not in the 99% group? How am I evil if I don't even understand that I could be CONSIDERED evil?
I promise I'll stop to exist every single night, for your comfort. It's actually funny. Because you're accusing me of being a monster who craves nothing but to attack women and I'm actually gay who doesn't care about women at all.
But be free to assume. 👍
ETA: Reply to the comment below:
I believe that the "all men who are outside after 8pm are disgusting monsters and rapists" consensus didn't exist. Because it didn't.
I simply consider it incredibly sexist that you're considered evil just because you're not a woman.
Dude, I'm also a guy, and I can tell you that it's NOT
>a "modern society" problem.
as you stated above. It's existed for thousands of years, if not dating back to when homo sapiens first existed. Do you honestly believe rape is a "modern society" problem?
>I'm actually gay who doesn't care about women at all
Okay, and someone is supposed to know that on sight? Come on now. It's not like you are wearing a big neon sign 24/7 that's flashes "I'M GAY!" so everyone could see it, and even if you were, how would a random woman know that it's not a ruse. Also great to read you don't care about women at all, that reads REALLY well.
You're being too sensitive about this. Women get harassed, killed, raped, stalked. If you ask a bunch of women, almost every one will have multiple bad encounter stories about men.
No one is "accusing" you of being a monster. We *don't know you*, so we treat every one as if you're dangerous *so that we can live*.
Oh and gay guys murder women too, you know. Being gay doesn't mean you're somehow immune to being a person that could do terrible things. Especially since you're getting really pissy about women wanting to feel safe.
Edit: oh boy, this one's a troll. Goes to subs just to argue and be as rude and downright nasty as posdible - I looked at a few posts. Whew. Not surprising.
That's the whole point though, innit? A random woman knows nothing about you and you STILL insist on acting like a threat.
I'm going to block you, because I recognize I've no impulse control and will keep replying even though I have better things to do. That's taking responsibility for my own actions, not putting the onus on someone else.
Might want to look into that.
Do. Better.
How is this guy acting like a threat by debating your point? If that’s the bar for you, then you’ve already decided that anyone who says they are a man is a threat. Thus you perpetuate the barrier between sexes, and by labeling all men as violent put the majority of on-side men who would want to help you in the same bucket. The knock-on effect is disempowering them from wanting to be anywhere near a woman who might actually need help in the event of bumping into the 1%.
This also feeds into the worst parts of male and youth society like Andrew Tate: he’ll be able to tell them that women think of you like X, so you should take it. Stop supporting them.
We need positive engagement between genders, not this. Be open and listen to men who are trying to understand. Stop labeling them all as a threat.
Do. Better.
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Wow. So my mother enrolling me in karate for awhile before I left for college in the 1980s was ridiculous?
And the fear women had about driving in DC in the summer before A/C in cars was a thing, due to some awful men reaching in the open windows to open the doors to drag them out for nefarious purposes, was ridiculous?
I don't think you understand the history of men perpetuating violence against women.
It existed 30 years ago. Sexual assault and harassment have existed for hundreds of years. Many start with male micro aggressions.
And later, when you talk to the guy? “I was flirting. She responded. I took my shot”. “ She’s wearing a dress. She wanted it.”
She said no. She tried to walk away. You made inappropriate comments. You chased. You grabbed her arm.
I admit to flirting. If I want things to go further, I hand over my phone number. If you flirt with me and I’m not into it, I shut down. That’s what women do.
Never assume a woman is open to friendly chitchat. We’ve been down that road. It did not end well. Be friendly- not intrusive.
Don’t make personal comments when you don’t know the woman. That’s suspicious.
Learn to read the eyes and body language. You can tell when we’re receptive.
That works both ways. When a woman says "no" or "not interested", that's what it should mean to a guy. Not "try harder" "pass this test" or "prove how much you want my attention". We have to agree on the ground rules...
First, I'm gay.
Second, why would ANYONE even look at a woman (yet alone be friendly) if even man's mere existence in the same area is considered an attack on her?
The only thing that a man can do is to completely ignore the woman (which will be considered an assault too, btw.) or to teleport somewhere else.
It's incredibly sexist, but it's the way it is.
And no, this paranoia wasn't occurring 30 years ago. Men weren't automatically considered monsters just because they were awake.
As someone who was a young adult 30 years ago, I’m calling you out on that comment. Men checking out your bumper stickers and commenting on them were considered JUST as creepy and dangerous then as they are now.
My brother and I were raised incredibly sheltered and weren't allowed to leave the house without supervision until we were late teenagers out of fear we'd be abducted / raped / murdered. That was in the '80s and '90s.
Back in the '70s, a neighbor broke into my mom's friend's house. The neighbor shot and killed my mom's friend's husband and raped her. In 1975, the Lyon sisters walked from our suburban MD neighborhood to the Wheaton Plaza and disappeared. Their murders weren't solved until 2015, long past when my brother and I had moved to MA after graduating from college.
Except for the Lyon sisters, nothing you said is to the original topic. And even the Lyon sisters are basically off topic too - this is about considering every single man on earth a rapist. Not about some cold true crime case.
You're completely missing the point: women were raised with fear long before 30 years ago. Also, the women in this conversation never said we think all men are rapists. That was all you, bro. The fact that 25% of college women are raped notwithstanding. Also, that number is thought to be very low because of the number of rapes that go unreported (including my own).
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It wasn't so focused on by the media as to amplify that fear to the extreme that it has reached.
It existed 30 years ago. However, then, it took more than merely being male to unsettle a woman. That's how Kavanaugh and Thomas were able to allegedly do what they allegedly did ...
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The amount of men commenting they see nothing creepy or suspicious here is just so disheartening. But I guess it shouldn't surprise me. I have had male friends or family members say I'm being paranoid or silly for taking certain safety precausions whereas the women validated my concerns 100%. We are taught from a very young age how to be vigilant and observant and what to do to protect ourselves. Guys are not. At least not in the same way.
OP the guy sounds really suspicious. He might really be just making small talk or whatever but when your alarms start ringing you need to trust your gut. No reason to panic but I would keep my eyes open for a while if I were you. I would also tell someone about this. Your boss/coworker you trust as well as friends or family. Stay safe.
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A few weeks ago while out on the interstate we passed a guy in a beautifully restored classic mustang, this thing sounded, smelled and looked AMAZING! I was leaning out of the window waving like a fool at the guy, giving him a thumbs up.
A little while up the road we stopped for a break and who happened to show up? Mustang guy! My wife tried to stop me, but I absolutely had to go compliment the guy on his car and you know what? His face lit up with a massive smile and he proceeded to tell me all about the restoration process and showing me before/after photos.
Was I being creepy? No. I was passing on a compliment to a stranger about something that caught my eye. Would it have been creepy if it was a woman who was driving that car?
I mean, aren't bumper stickers generally there to y'know (and hear me out here) look at?
I honestly don't for one moment think this dude was being creepy, just making small talk.
My bumper stickers aren’t visible from the front of my car which faced the side door where he was. In order to see them, you would have to circle my car (2006 beaten up Honda) all the way around deliberately. There was no reason for him to circle my car to see if I had bumper stickers, especially since he was just out there smoking a cigarette.
Ah, my apologies, that wasn't evident from your post.
In my mind, I had pictured you driving past the side door and the driving front first into a parking spot, meaning he would have seen the stickers from where he was standing.
I do however find the QR code a bit weird, like why not just have an app where you register your plate number to gain access to the apartment parking lot?
I dunno dude, I just pay the rent and do the bare minimum the notices they stick on my apartment door say so I don’t have to deal with their towing company. But good to know you’re not in the habit of circling the beat up cars of women in hotel parking lots at 11pm, ig
Before the update, not really, no.
I saw something cool and went to take a closer look when I could.
In the original post nothing was mentioned about how the car was parked, or the behavior of the guy, so it really seemed like the guy had seen the bumper stickers and went to take a look and afterwards made an off the cuff remark about said stickers. That's pretty harmless, no?
Your story: “we.” You are not alone.
Your story: takes place in the daylight (again, with your wife).
And the big kicker… you are a man. Are you really so thick as to think that this isn’t relevant?!
I'm not going to try to invalidate your personal safety concerns.
However, walking around a parking lot is not, in itself, nefarious. Nor is reading bumper stickers, not even making a casual remark to the person who you happen to know to be the owner of said stickers.
You don't mention what other stickers you have on your car. I'm betting since you are the bumper sticker type, you have a bunch, and many of them are, for lack of a better word, interesting to someone who has never seen them.
I'm a guy, I'm sure I'm creepy as hell to a young woman, just by existing. I'm about 6'7" tall, and I like to walk. I also enjoy reading, and sometimes even taking pictures of amusing/clever bumper stickers on cars, and sharing with my sisters.
If you saw a tall, bearded dude in the parking lot, taking pictures of your car, I can understand you might have some concerns. Particularly if there's a QR code on your parking sticker that leads to your apartment complex. (I might, um, *modify* said QR code, if you catch my drift.)
But it might just be that you amused/intrigued a totally innocent stranger, and made their day a tiny bit brighter.
Just sayin'.
Complains about "invalidating concerns"
Proceeds to deny alternative perspectives exist, thus invalidating any concerns brought up in an effort of understanding...
Do. Better
In a thread titled “kinda creepy “, your tone deaf comment disregarding the lived experience of women is contemptuous and disrespectful.
Go back to the redpill forums from whence you came.
Sorry, I forgot that, in calling YOU out for your spin, I've somehow invalidated her experience. Nice try with that. Don't you have an echo chamber to reinforce somewhere?
Given that I was already parked and getting out of my vehicle facing the side door when he stepped out (like I said in my post) and my bumper stickers are on the very back of my vehicle which you cannot see from the front of my car, he would have had to walk all the way around my car to look and see if I even had any. Are you in the habit of circling women’s cars at 11pm in a hotel parking lot?
I'm in the habit of walking around, period. Not around any particular car, but i don't like standing still. Sitting is one thing, but just standing there makes my legs feel weird. One of the many reasons i never joined the military, standing at attention always seemed like torture.
If, as you say, the only way he could see the stickers was to walk around behind the car, how could he have known that they were there to see in the first place? It's never occurred to me to go look at the back of a woman's car on the off chance that I could see an interesting/humorous/rage-inducing bumper sticker. But if I happen to see them in my wanders? Sure, I'll go look.
I still don't find anything overtly creepy about his actions according to your post. If he was being creepy toward you at the entrance, or even at the ice-cream interaction, you were not very clear about it. Sounds to me like he was being friendly, and you didn't even see him again. Did you look at the security footage? Did he go peeking in your car windows?
My ex had creeps all the time in her line of work, and they, as a rule, aren't subtle. The "getting someone to smile" comment is a bit uncouth, but I can't read it as creepy. There's a big difference between "getting someone to smile," and "you should smile more!" One is trying to be amusing to someone, the other is a creepy command.
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Maybe that guest simply walked past the end of your car so as to respectfully do his smoking away from it. That's what I do especially if it's a nice-looking car and I also love to read bumper stickers in general, but not parking tags.
Firstly, to respond to the "big screw you..." part of the update, I feel that is a bit out of line.
In your original post you did not mention anything about how the car was parked (other than it was in sight of CCTV) and it would be reasonable to assume, as myself and a fair few others did, that the stickers were in his line of sight and that they could well have caught his eye. So to then be upset with those people who made that assumption, based on the info that was originally provided to them, is not really fair. I can't say that any of the comments here came across as attacking towards you, more confused as we were not provided with the full picture.But, if you see see an issue with that, it must be everybody else that's the problem, ig
Thanks for the update. This gives a lot more clarity to the situation and gives a lot more info/context that was sadly lacking in your original post.
With this newly provided info in mind, that is certainly creepy. Being a guest in the hotel, could it not be possible to check the CCTV inside as well, to see which room he went to? In the possibility that he indeed did do something to your car, or managed to get your info off of that QR code, it might be useful to have his info ready to be handed over to the authorities along with the video of him at your car of course.
Although, for your sake, I sincerely hope that this was just an extremely weird, but eventually harmless encounter.
I worked NA for 2 years in a mid size city center property and know just how weird people can be in the middle of the night.
Aww boo boo did your little pee pee heart get hurted because you wanted to be invalidating of a woman’s experience and gut instinct? Too bad. Idgaf what you think is out of line. Screw. You.
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This post sucks. If I see someone have something cool I usually tell them it is cool.
I would never make comments about someone's appearance, that IS creepy, but cmon, possessions?
Why would you put bumper stickers on your car if you didn't want people to look at them, qr code excluded?
This guy made one passing comment, and you mentioned no other red flags, yet you instantly are calling him a creep. I think you are the real creep here, instantly making so many assumptions.
Are you in the habit of circling women’s cars to see if they have bumper stickers in the parking lot of their work after having watched them get out of said cars at 11pm at night?
Actually, I am a woman. I circle cars in parking lots multiple times when in a parking lot smoking a cigarette. I look at bumper stickers, too. It's just something to occupy my mind while smoking, and I can't stand still. Your fears are valid, but there are reasons people circle cars, and some of them may not mean to be creepy.
Her original post doesn't mention him circling the car, but it does provide the time. If you're reading posts on r/talesfromthefrontdesk you should be aware that 'NA' means Night Audit, which is usually the 11pm-7am shift.
That being said, the only thing that makes his actions creepy in this case is the apartment parking sticker. OP, would it be possible to put one of those stickers on a card instead of on the car? You could leave the card on the dashboard or against the inside of the back window when parked at home and hide it in your glove box for safety when you're not home. Maybe ask your apartment manager, it is a valid security concern. Having a QR code on your car that any rando with a smartphone can scan to see where you live seems like a bad idea tbh.
Yeah, I think her issue should be with the apartment manager requiring something that in some way makes her feel insecure not with a person who happens to be looking at her bumper stickers. The dude could easily have stepped out into the parking lot to go to his own car and seen the stickers at that point.
The QR code could easily be made to have no identifying info on it and could direct to an app that requires a secure login to view.
Check the security camera footage. See what he did.
Did he step into the parking lot to get a closer look at her vehicle? That is scary and suspicious.
Yes he would have had to in order to see if I had bumper stickers.
When I leave work in the morning, and a female guest walks out the front door ahead of me I wait a minute in the lobby. No one likes to find a large man walking behind them to the parking lot, and no matter how disinterested in all of humanity I am after clocking out I know I will be seen as something bad by a stranger.
Another "loitering so I'm not mistaken for stalking" person! Hello! Any good phone games lately? I've burnt out on a lot of mine.
Men have NO FUCKING IDEA how creepy they can be without realizing it. He thinks "I was just making conversation!" OR "I didn't say anything bad!" Meanwhile we are thinking : "Oh great! He knows what my car looks like! Will he try to follow me home and murder me?" Luckily my apartment parking tag just says ID # 12345678. It doesn't say the complex name.
I am 100% aware of that, that's why the only woman I talk to outside of my family or work duties is on the other side of an ocean.
Men who can't just talk to women like regular people are also creepy. Makes it sounds like you can't control yourself.
I said I don't, not I can't. And if I don't talk to women, how does that sound like I can't control myself?
Yeah, I literally didn't understand this post. I was like "what's creepy about it?" until I read your comment. It's actually horrifying how modern society created this paranoia.
It's not "modern society," my dude. It's creepy men, and it's not paranoia.
If women are automatically scared by any and every man they see at night, it's a "modern society" problem. And since 99% of these men are absolutely harmless and not-monsters-at-all, it's paranoia.
Not a modern issue. When women used to wear hats they would have leathally long, thick hat pins for men who got handsy. Pull out the hat pin and stab the guy. Wasn't normally leathal, but it did stop they guy.
Ask any woman how often she has been in an uncomfortable or unsafe situation. For many it is daily. For more it is weekly. We have to assume all men are monsters. It’s the only way to ensure our safety.
How are we to know who's the "1%" bad guy? You're given a bowl of candy. Some are poisoned. How much of the candy are you gonna eat? I mean, most of it is fine, take a handful! The fact that you didn't understand why OP was creeped out (or accept that her story was valid) and that you're arguing with me now instead of saying something like "hm, never thought about it that way before" means you're not even in your own "99%" group (and that "statistic" is very high, btw).
>Yeah, I literally didn't understand this post. I was like "what's creepy about it?" until I read your comment. He literally did say that though...
I accept the story as kinda valid. I'm just sad about the state of society. ETA: And how am I not in the 99% group? How am I evil if I don't even understand that I could be CONSIDERED evil?
"Kinda valid." My dude, that's a huge part of why society is in such a sad state. Do better.
I promise I'll stop to exist every single night, for your comfort. It's actually funny. Because you're accusing me of being a monster who craves nothing but to attack women and I'm actually gay who doesn't care about women at all. But be free to assume. 👍 ETA: Reply to the comment below: I believe that the "all men who are outside after 8pm are disgusting monsters and rapists" consensus didn't exist. Because it didn't. I simply consider it incredibly sexist that you're considered evil just because you're not a woman.
Dude, I'm also a guy, and I can tell you that it's NOT >a "modern society" problem. as you stated above. It's existed for thousands of years, if not dating back to when homo sapiens first existed. Do you honestly believe rape is a "modern society" problem? >I'm actually gay who doesn't care about women at all Okay, and someone is supposed to know that on sight? Come on now. It's not like you are wearing a big neon sign 24/7 that's flashes "I'M GAY!" so everyone could see it, and even if you were, how would a random woman know that it's not a ruse. Also great to read you don't care about women at all, that reads REALLY well.
You're being too sensitive about this. Women get harassed, killed, raped, stalked. If you ask a bunch of women, almost every one will have multiple bad encounter stories about men. No one is "accusing" you of being a monster. We *don't know you*, so we treat every one as if you're dangerous *so that we can live*. Oh and gay guys murder women too, you know. Being gay doesn't mean you're somehow immune to being a person that could do terrible things. Especially since you're getting really pissy about women wanting to feel safe. Edit: oh boy, this one's a troll. Goes to subs just to argue and be as rude and downright nasty as posdible - I looked at a few posts. Whew. Not surprising.
Yeah I've encountered this guy before and learned to just DISENGAGE 🤣😂🤣😂 But I sometimes have impulse control as well.........
That's the whole point though, innit? A random woman knows nothing about you and you STILL insist on acting like a threat. I'm going to block you, because I recognize I've no impulse control and will keep replying even though I have better things to do. That's taking responsibility for my own actions, not putting the onus on someone else. Might want to look into that. Do. Better.
How is this guy acting like a threat by debating your point? If that’s the bar for you, then you’ve already decided that anyone who says they are a man is a threat. Thus you perpetuate the barrier between sexes, and by labeling all men as violent put the majority of on-side men who would want to help you in the same bucket. The knock-on effect is disempowering them from wanting to be anywhere near a woman who might actually need help in the event of bumping into the 1%. This also feeds into the worst parts of male and youth society like Andrew Tate: he’ll be able to tell them that women think of you like X, so you should take it. Stop supporting them. We need positive engagement between genders, not this. Be open and listen to men who are trying to understand. Stop labeling them all as a threat. Do. Better.
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There's nothing "modern" about women being afraid that men are going to stalk, rape and/or kill them.
It is. Such a thing didn't exist 30 years ago. Now, if you are a man and awake at night, you are automatically a creep.
I'm 47. It existed 30 years ago.
Wow. So my mother enrolling me in karate for awhile before I left for college in the 1980s was ridiculous? And the fear women had about driving in DC in the summer before A/C in cars was a thing, due to some awful men reaching in the open windows to open the doors to drag them out for nefarious purposes, was ridiculous? I don't think you understand the history of men perpetuating violence against women.
American women need to make it hurt to creep on us. Dudes understand that kind of correction.
You probably lived in a really rough neighborhood. I guess Bronx or Chicago.
I lived in a place where some people never locked their doors if they were going out for less than a few hours.
Doesn't seem like that.
This is so hilarious coming from someone who just posted about about Jack the Ripper killing women in the 1880s
Just? This was a month ago? And it was about weird dates (1888 is really weird) not the event itself. :) But yeah, I guess. :)
I'm almost 50. It did exist 30 years ago.
It existed 30 years ago. Sexual assault and harassment have existed for hundreds of years. Many start with male micro aggressions. And later, when you talk to the guy? “I was flirting. She responded. I took my shot”. “ She’s wearing a dress. She wanted it.” She said no. She tried to walk away. You made inappropriate comments. You chased. You grabbed her arm. I admit to flirting. If I want things to go further, I hand over my phone number. If you flirt with me and I’m not into it, I shut down. That’s what women do. Never assume a woman is open to friendly chitchat. We’ve been down that road. It did not end well. Be friendly- not intrusive. Don’t make personal comments when you don’t know the woman. That’s suspicious. Learn to read the eyes and body language. You can tell when we’re receptive.
That works both ways. When a woman says "no" or "not interested", that's what it should mean to a guy. Not "try harder" "pass this test" or "prove how much you want my attention". We have to agree on the ground rules...
First, I'm gay. Second, why would ANYONE even look at a woman (yet alone be friendly) if even man's mere existence in the same area is considered an attack on her? The only thing that a man can do is to completely ignore the woman (which will be considered an assault too, btw.) or to teleport somewhere else. It's incredibly sexist, but it's the way it is. And no, this paranoia wasn't occurring 30 years ago. Men weren't automatically considered monsters just because they were awake.
lets chill out a bit.
How the fuck would you know? What a loser.
As someone who was a young adult 30 years ago, I’m calling you out on that comment. Men checking out your bumper stickers and commenting on them were considered JUST as creepy and dangerous then as they are now.
Disagreed. 30 years ago, this post wouldn't be written. Also, bumper stickers are to be read and reacted to. That's why you stick them there.
Watch out for blue fish guy. Dude is stalking my DMs. Way to demonstrate that you are one of the bad guys.
My brother and I were raised incredibly sheltered and weren't allowed to leave the house without supervision until we were late teenagers out of fear we'd be abducted / raped / murdered. That was in the '80s and '90s. Back in the '70s, a neighbor broke into my mom's friend's house. The neighbor shot and killed my mom's friend's husband and raped her. In 1975, the Lyon sisters walked from our suburban MD neighborhood to the Wheaton Plaza and disappeared. Their murders weren't solved until 2015, long past when my brother and I had moved to MA after graduating from college.
Except for the Lyon sisters, nothing you said is to the original topic. And even the Lyon sisters are basically off topic too - this is about considering every single man on earth a rapist. Not about some cold true crime case.
You're completely missing the point: women were raised with fear long before 30 years ago. Also, the women in this conversation never said we think all men are rapists. That was all you, bro. The fact that 25% of college women are raped notwithstanding. Also, that number is thought to be very low because of the number of rapes that go unreported (including my own).
This is utter nonsense.
The dick is getting off on the attention, like a toddler caught picking their nose in public.
Says every creep-ass dick.
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It wasn't so focused on by the media as to amplify that fear to the extreme that it has reached. It existed 30 years ago. However, then, it took more than merely being male to unsettle a woman. That's how Kavanaugh and Thomas were able to allegedly do what they allegedly did ...
Men. Penis-wielding fuckwads. May every dude who doesn't get this, and do something about it, spend a few lifetimes as a woman. I'll take the bear.
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The amount of men commenting they see nothing creepy or suspicious here is just so disheartening. But I guess it shouldn't surprise me. I have had male friends or family members say I'm being paranoid or silly for taking certain safety precausions whereas the women validated my concerns 100%. We are taught from a very young age how to be vigilant and observant and what to do to protect ourselves. Guys are not. At least not in the same way. OP the guy sounds really suspicious. He might really be just making small talk or whatever but when your alarms start ringing you need to trust your gut. No reason to panic but I would keep my eyes open for a while if I were you. I would also tell someone about this. Your boss/coworker you trust as well as friends or family. Stay safe.
Guys are taught that women exist to please them.
Dude better think twice before stalking a hotel employee. It can end badly for the stalker.
That update is very disturbing. Hoping you don't find anything.
Some of these comments suck.
Some of these dudes suck.
Hey all, blue-fish-guy, the creep-defender, tried to go after me in chat. Heads up that he seems unhinged about being wrong.
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A few weeks ago while out on the interstate we passed a guy in a beautifully restored classic mustang, this thing sounded, smelled and looked AMAZING! I was leaning out of the window waving like a fool at the guy, giving him a thumbs up. A little while up the road we stopped for a break and who happened to show up? Mustang guy! My wife tried to stop me, but I absolutely had to go compliment the guy on his car and you know what? His face lit up with a massive smile and he proceeded to tell me all about the restoration process and showing me before/after photos. Was I being creepy? No. I was passing on a compliment to a stranger about something that caught my eye. Would it have been creepy if it was a woman who was driving that car? I mean, aren't bumper stickers generally there to y'know (and hear me out here) look at? I honestly don't for one moment think this dude was being creepy, just making small talk.
My bumper stickers aren’t visible from the front of my car which faced the side door where he was. In order to see them, you would have to circle my car (2006 beaten up Honda) all the way around deliberately. There was no reason for him to circle my car to see if I had bumper stickers, especially since he was just out there smoking a cigarette.
Ah, my apologies, that wasn't evident from your post. In my mind, I had pictured you driving past the side door and the driving front first into a parking spot, meaning he would have seen the stickers from where he was standing. I do however find the QR code a bit weird, like why not just have an app where you register your plate number to gain access to the apartment parking lot?
I dunno dude, I just pay the rent and do the bare minimum the notices they stick on my apartment door say so I don’t have to deal with their towing company. But good to know you’re not in the habit of circling the beat up cars of women in hotel parking lots at 11pm, ig
Yooo, no need for the snarky shut down. I was literally backing up your point about the QR code being sus...
Perhaps he didn't want to just stand there to smoke and felt like walking around a bit, then noticed your stickers.
Do you really not see the difference between your story and OP’s?!?
Before the update, not really, no. I saw something cool and went to take a closer look when I could. In the original post nothing was mentioned about how the car was parked, or the behavior of the guy, so it really seemed like the guy had seen the bumper stickers and went to take a look and afterwards made an off the cuff remark about said stickers. That's pretty harmless, no?
Your story: “we.” You are not alone. Your story: takes place in the daylight (again, with your wife). And the big kicker… you are a man. Are you really so thick as to think that this isn’t relevant?!
N=1 yay you. Now go back and reread all the comments of actual women experiencing actual creeps, and get over your lucky privileged self.
I'm not going to try to invalidate your personal safety concerns. However, walking around a parking lot is not, in itself, nefarious. Nor is reading bumper stickers, not even making a casual remark to the person who you happen to know to be the owner of said stickers. You don't mention what other stickers you have on your car. I'm betting since you are the bumper sticker type, you have a bunch, and many of them are, for lack of a better word, interesting to someone who has never seen them. I'm a guy, I'm sure I'm creepy as hell to a young woman, just by existing. I'm about 6'7" tall, and I like to walk. I also enjoy reading, and sometimes even taking pictures of amusing/clever bumper stickers on cars, and sharing with my sisters. If you saw a tall, bearded dude in the parking lot, taking pictures of your car, I can understand you might have some concerns. Particularly if there's a QR code on your parking sticker that leads to your apartment complex. (I might, um, *modify* said QR code, if you catch my drift.) But it might just be that you amused/intrigued a totally innocent stranger, and made their day a tiny bit brighter. Just sayin'.
“I’m not going to try to invalidate your personal safety concerns “ Proceeds to invalidate her personal safety concerns.
Funny how shrill the #notallmen crowd gets when faced with women's lived experience.
Complains about "invalidating concerns" Proceeds to deny alternative perspectives exist, thus invalidating any concerns brought up in an effort of understanding... Do. Better
In a thread titled “kinda creepy “, your tone deaf comment disregarding the lived experience of women is contemptuous and disrespectful. Go back to the redpill forums from whence you came.
Sorry, I forgot that, in calling YOU out for your spin, I've somehow invalidated her experience. Nice try with that. Don't you have an echo chamber to reinforce somewhere?
May you meet many bears on your journey through the manosphere.
Nah... Just read 1984 as a youth and recognize the signs...
Given that I was already parked and getting out of my vehicle facing the side door when he stepped out (like I said in my post) and my bumper stickers are on the very back of my vehicle which you cannot see from the front of my car, he would have had to walk all the way around my car to look and see if I even had any. Are you in the habit of circling women’s cars at 11pm in a hotel parking lot?
I'm in the habit of walking around, period. Not around any particular car, but i don't like standing still. Sitting is one thing, but just standing there makes my legs feel weird. One of the many reasons i never joined the military, standing at attention always seemed like torture. If, as you say, the only way he could see the stickers was to walk around behind the car, how could he have known that they were there to see in the first place? It's never occurred to me to go look at the back of a woman's car on the off chance that I could see an interesting/humorous/rage-inducing bumper sticker. But if I happen to see them in my wanders? Sure, I'll go look. I still don't find anything overtly creepy about his actions according to your post. If he was being creepy toward you at the entrance, or even at the ice-cream interaction, you were not very clear about it. Sounds to me like he was being friendly, and you didn't even see him again. Did you look at the security footage? Did he go peeking in your car windows? My ex had creeps all the time in her line of work, and they, as a rule, aren't subtle. The "getting someone to smile" comment is a bit uncouth, but I can't read it as creepy. There's a big difference between "getting someone to smile," and "you should smile more!" One is trying to be amusing to someone, the other is a creepy command.
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Maybe that guest simply walked past the end of your car so as to respectfully do his smoking away from it. That's what I do especially if it's a nice-looking car and I also love to read bumper stickers in general, but not parking tags.
May you experience whatever it takes to gain enlightenment on the issue.
You’re part of the problem.
Oh, that’s not-
Take the bumper stickers off the car if you don't want people reading and commenting on them if they see you.
Firstly, to respond to the "big screw you..." part of the update, I feel that is a bit out of line. In your original post you did not mention anything about how the car was parked (other than it was in sight of CCTV) and it would be reasonable to assume, as myself and a fair few others did, that the stickers were in his line of sight and that they could well have caught his eye. So to then be upset with those people who made that assumption, based on the info that was originally provided to them, is not really fair. I can't say that any of the comments here came across as attacking towards you, more confused as we were not provided with the full picture.But, if you see see an issue with that, it must be everybody else that's the problem, ig Thanks for the update. This gives a lot more clarity to the situation and gives a lot more info/context that was sadly lacking in your original post. With this newly provided info in mind, that is certainly creepy. Being a guest in the hotel, could it not be possible to check the CCTV inside as well, to see which room he went to? In the possibility that he indeed did do something to your car, or managed to get your info off of that QR code, it might be useful to have his info ready to be handed over to the authorities along with the video of him at your car of course. Although, for your sake, I sincerely hope that this was just an extremely weird, but eventually harmless encounter. I worked NA for 2 years in a mid size city center property and know just how weird people can be in the middle of the night.
Aww boo boo did your little pee pee heart get hurted because you wanted to be invalidating of a woman’s experience and gut instinct? Too bad. Idgaf what you think is out of line. Screw. You.
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This post sucks. If I see someone have something cool I usually tell them it is cool. I would never make comments about someone's appearance, that IS creepy, but cmon, possessions? Why would you put bumper stickers on your car if you didn't want people to look at them, qr code excluded? This guy made one passing comment, and you mentioned no other red flags, yet you instantly are calling him a creep. I think you are the real creep here, instantly making so many assumptions.
Are you in the habit of circling women’s cars to see if they have bumper stickers in the parking lot of their work after having watched them get out of said cars at 11pm at night?
Actually, I am a woman. I circle cars in parking lots multiple times when in a parking lot smoking a cigarette. I look at bumper stickers, too. It's just something to occupy my mind while smoking, and I can't stand still. Your fears are valid, but there are reasons people circle cars, and some of them may not mean to be creepy.
No? Also your post does not say he circles your car. Nor does it mention the time.
Her original post doesn't mention him circling the car, but it does provide the time. If you're reading posts on r/talesfromthefrontdesk you should be aware that 'NA' means Night Audit, which is usually the 11pm-7am shift. That being said, the only thing that makes his actions creepy in this case is the apartment parking sticker. OP, would it be possible to put one of those stickers on a card instead of on the car? You could leave the card on the dashboard or against the inside of the back window when parked at home and hide it in your glove box for safety when you're not home. Maybe ask your apartment manager, it is a valid security concern. Having a QR code on your car that any rando with a smartphone can scan to see where you live seems like a bad idea tbh.
Yeah, I think her issue should be with the apartment manager requiring something that in some way makes her feel insecure not with a person who happens to be looking at her bumper stickers. The dude could easily have stepped out into the parking lot to go to his own car and seen the stickers at that point. The QR code could easily be made to have no identifying info on it and could direct to an app that requires a secure login to view.
Yes sorry I’m not with you on this one. I don’t see why you have stickers that people can clearly see then have an issue when people see it.