I once was plagued by a smell of mildewā¦. it
was my own earring backs. They were tiny gold balls and I just left them in, thinking I was scrubbing myself every day. In Morgan Freemanās voice: she was not scrubbing her earring backs.
Oh nasty. That's a bad smell. We had a cat spite pee on our pillow top mattress right before we loaded up RV one year. When we got to camp in July 4 hours later and went to set up it was like a gas bomb. We had to throw the mattress away at camp and bought a new one. Everyone thought we were over reacting til they went to dumpster. I was so thankful they let us dispose of it because idk how else we would have managed that at camp.
My SIL tried giving us a mattress - they put it downstairs for us and everything then left. We noticed a foul smell and realized her cats pissed all over the mattress.
They were just too lazy to throw it out
Like real old. Bacon grease, burger grease, fried chicken grease all mixed in the same old can on the back of the stove - you brought back my bumpkin childhood š
Spittle that collects in the corners of the mouth of a dehydrated person.
Top-of-the-buttcrack slime.
Moldy bong water.
Warm natto.
Liquid from a rotten potato.
Damp skin right after a cast comes off.
Unreachable dead mouse under the fridge.
Vomit from your dog after they ate roadkill.
When I was very young my sister worked at Burger King and all her uniforms had a distinct smell of old fryer grease that no amount of laundering could remove. I imagine that smell every time I see David.
Idk but Thriller came to mind. I love this song but some of the lyrics kinda fit. Especially the funk of 40k years part:
āDarkness falls across the land The midnight hour is close at handā¦
ā¦The foulest stench is in the air The funk of forty thousand years ā¦ā
So one time when I was a kid I brought a cup noodle to my bedroom. Forgot about it because it was behind something on a shelf.
Holy shit the smell and the mold jt produced. Thatās what I thought of lol
Maaaan, here's the thing. There's this dude I work with that I can't *stand*. He smells normal, like normal soap, but because I hate him so much, the normal soap smell still pisses me off just because it indicates that he's near me.
So he probably smells fine and it doesn't matter at all because he still stinks like asshole.
Edit: and cheap light beer.
I can actually answer this.
So, due to mental health issues for about three years I only did one load of laundry every few months. It was a small bag of the same clothes that I'd just wear year after year. Last week I finally got around to washing *everything* in my apartment (eight loads of laundry total) and when I was going through and sorting that laundry I obviously came across some items that hadn't been touched in forever.
The crusty smell that a couple of those things had was assaulting to the senses (luckily washing them helped).
That is what he smells like.
Crusty, dusty, and assaulting to the senses.
Grease, that mouldy, stale clothes smell when wet clothes sit for too long, stale beer and cigarettes, not wiped ass, b.o and disappointment...
Eta: I may have took that too far, was like the smelly version of pringles š
Porcupines. They give off a mix of BO and onion soup, and it sticks to EVERYTHING. hair, skin, clothes, furnitureā¦ wonderful creatures, but yhe smell terrible.
I knew a guy in College who looked just like David, was a pothead... he would sleep in his clothes, wake up and spray himself with febreeze instead of showering. So, I'd say David smells like buttholes, weed and maybe febreeze š¤£
https://i.redd.it/t6qkmolx0znc1.gif
This is the best answer š¤£
I just saw this after I posted mine lol š I said Sasquatchās asshole
Idk I bet sasquatch wipes better than David.
True lol heās a dingleberry
Tonsil Stones
This is disgusting but also the answer.
Stinky lung chunks lol
I said the same thing!!!
Stale beer, weed, and earring backs.
EARRING BACKS. yes.
I once was plagued by a smell of mildewā¦. it was my own earring backs. They were tiny gold balls and I just left them in, thinking I was scrubbing myself every day. In Morgan Freemanās voice: she was not scrubbing her earring backs.
Smegma
Accurate.
I just got out of the shower. Iām going back in the shower.
Wet towel thatās been sitting in a hot room for 12 days, after getting peed on by a cat.
Oh nasty. That's a bad smell. We had a cat spite pee on our pillow top mattress right before we loaded up RV one year. When we got to camp in July 4 hours later and went to set up it was like a gas bomb. We had to throw the mattress away at camp and bought a new one. Everyone thought we were over reacting til they went to dumpster. I was so thankful they let us dispose of it because idk how else we would have managed that at camp.
My SIL tried giving us a mattress - they put it downstairs for us and everything then left. We noticed a foul smell and realized her cats pissed all over the mattress. They were just too lazy to throw it out
I'm showing my country bumpkin but I immediately thought of the smell of an old jar of dripping.
Like real old. Bacon grease, burger grease, fried chicken grease all mixed in the same old can on the back of the stove - you brought back my bumpkin childhood š
Spittle that collects in the corners of the mouth of a dehydrated person. Top-of-the-buttcrack slime. Moldy bong water. Warm natto. Liquid from a rotten potato. Damp skin right after a cast comes off. Unreachable dead mouse under the fridge. Vomit from your dog after they ate roadkill.
Jesus you either deserve an award or a trip straight to hell š
Stale vomit and engine grease
Stank breath, old jizz, and greasy dirty hair.
2 trash cans having sex
12 day old grease from Kentucky Fried Chicken and/or Long John Silver's! š¤¢
When I was very young my sister worked at Burger King and all her uniforms had a distinct smell of old fryer grease that no amount of laundering could remove. I imagine that smell every time I see David.
Swamp sludge and stale Copenhagen.
The spitter bottle that rolled under the bench seat of your broke down truck 6 months ago
Turtle enclosure, burning plastic, stale bodily fluids
 Trash Heap. Fraggle Rock
https://preview.redd.it/npdyllzfj0oc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a578a92d59a0bd433b3ab9fa552dbaac9fd89913
This is so offensive to me. Marjorie is **a blessing**, you take it back.
Marjory š„°š
Newport Menthols and bologna
Discharge from piercings.
Idk but Thriller came to mind. I love this song but some of the lyrics kinda fit. Especially the funk of 40k years part: āDarkness falls across the land The midnight hour is close at handā¦ ā¦The foulest stench is in the air The funk of forty thousand years ā¦ā 
He looks like heās out of weed and has been scraping bowls and smoking resin. I can smell that just looking at this picture.
Metal shavings, ash, and shame
An old pontiacĀ thatās been smoked in for 25 years
ššš
If crazy had a stench.
https://preview.redd.it/5fr7g29a1znc1.png?width=1025&format=png&auto=webp&s=49182ed27b4e15059a0671ac9e9c3e0c67eeffde
So one time when I was a kid I brought a cup noodle to my bedroom. Forgot about it because it was behind something on a shelf. Holy shit the smell and the mold jt produced. Thatās what I thought of lol
That take out order you forgot about in your car.
I smell New York piss corners in the subways.
New York is too good for this heap of dirty, wet laundry
Cat piss, weed and desperation
Cigarettes, piss, BO, and mildew
Old dirty hat.
Hot dog water, taint, cigarettes, bong water, and tonsil stones.
Summer Porta Potty ā¢ļø
Stale beer, dead blunts, ass crack and jeans and black under his fingernails.
Dusty
Weed and old poop stained underwear
Cooked squirrel thatās been left out for too long
Oh god no! š¤¢š¤®
Old broken down boat
Old beef sticks, unwashed ass & balls, and alcohol
Mold and rotten milk
30 year old successful crack den
Essence of Cro Mag
Halitosis, smegma, cigarettes and BO.
RAD Rancid Ammonia Discharge
The intoxicating aroma of Natty Light, perio breath, and mildew.
Sewage.
Litter box that shouldāve been cleaned last week
Silent but deadly.
Corn chips, cottage cheese, sweat and stale beer
I'm starting to think yall actually love looking at him with how many times he is posted here. So fucking weird!
I am literally crying at these comments šI love it here
*inhales* ohmygodš¤®
Arrogant Plague
Earring backs and an old car ashtray
Meth and dick cheese. š¤®š¤®š¤®
š his face is so terrifying!! Iāve never seen crazier eyes
Cigarette water from the makeshift water bottle ashtray in a hot car that houses raccoons
A bucket of billy goat shit
Maaaan, here's the thing. There's this dude I work with that I can't *stand*. He smells normal, like normal soap, but because I hate him so much, the normal soap smell still pisses me off just because it indicates that he's near me. So he probably smells fine and it doesn't matter at all because he still stinks like asshole. Edit: and cheap light beer.
Sinus breath
Boat crust
Sour milk from the recycling container that sat in the heat all day because you put it out too late
Unclean bellybutton
The cucumber I forgot in my bag for a month when I was in grade 2
The stench wafting through the pussy palace (cat room) because I haven't cleaned out the litter robot drawer.
Ball funk and disappointment
Funyun breath
I can actually answer this. So, due to mental health issues for about three years I only did one load of laundry every few months. It was a small bag of the same clothes that I'd just wear year after year. Last week I finally got around to washing *everything* in my apartment (eight loads of laundry total) and when I was going through and sorting that laundry I obviously came across some items that hadn't been touched in forever. The crusty smell that a couple of those things had was assaulting to the senses (luckily washing them helped). That is what he smells like. Crusty, dusty, and assaulting to the senses.
Boatcrap
The puddle in the bottom of the garbage can
Ugh garbage juice
Grease, that mouldy, stale clothes smell when wet clothes sit for too long, stale beer and cigarettes, not wiped ass, b.o and disappointment... Eta: I may have took that too far, was like the smelly version of pringles š
Pure fucking yuck mouth and ass.
A sweaty wrist watch band.
Eau de toilet
Unwashed ass/ sweaty balls
Deer pee, Skoal, and Mountain Dew Code Red
Onions and boat mildew
Stale Natty Light and months old bong water
Sketchy, run down gas station bathroom. The kind you're forced to use on a long road trip because that's your only option.
Body cavity smell. Like when someone sneezes next to you
Bong water, belly button juice, rotting carcus
Sushi restaurant dumpster on a hot day
Toe jam
Raw asscrack sweat
belly button infection
Wendyās burger. Extra onions.
Dirty wash cloth and body odor
Porcupines. They give off a mix of BO and onion soup, and it sticks to EVERYTHING. hair, skin, clothes, furnitureā¦ wonderful creatures, but yhe smell terrible.
Fromundacheese
Tooth decay.
Rotted garbage on a hot summer day in an alley in New York City
Old lady fart passed through an onion
Beer and cigs
Greasy hair, cigarettes, damp, and dust.
Athlete's foot.
He smells like cheap smokes, cheap beer, BO and cat piss
Wet cigarettes
The smell of resin burning
mold.
Drunk girl vomit. You know the bile at the end. That.
3 day old Marlboro lights mixed with meth and a sprinkle of Avon cologne. He reminds me of the guys working at the local fair/carnival
Meth sweat and seawater
Belly Button Cheese, old beer, sweat, and shame
Deviled egg farts
I knew a guy in College who looked just like David, was a pothead... he would sleep in his clothes, wake up and spray himself with febreeze instead of showering. So, I'd say David smells like buttholes, weed and maybe febreeze š¤£
Keefah
Swamp Crotch
Poopy Longstocking
Pork flavored ramen noodles.
Swamp ass
Ball sweat, stale cigs and oral thrush.
Stale weed and nicotine and dirty underwear
The discarded, musty towel that somebody forgot in the laundromat.
Weed, body odor, and mildew.
Molded camper that hasnāt been opened in months
Week long unwashed vagina who wiped back to front also that had STD infested loads busted into it twice daily.
Water at the bottom of a dumpster in Houston in August.
Dollar from a strippers fupa after a long night at the club
A dirty taint
A 75 year old smokers den, thatās never seen fresh air, daylight, a washer or vacuum.
funk, dirty hair, bad breath, swamp groin all the elements of neanderthal: the cologne
Stale fish
Hagridās unwashed ass š¢
Fromunda Cheese
Their air that comes out when you open a jar of rancid milk.
Sasquatches asshole
Le swampe
Gas Station Bathroom Herpes
Back of a earring type smell š„“š š¤£
Trailer mildew.
Belly button and pores from beer the next morning after binge drinking
Well water and no deodorant
A turtle tank.
Swamp ass
Sour pillow after his unwashed hair has been on it for weeks
Like a hamster cage thatās overdue for a cleaning.
Menthols, cavities, axe body spray & dry skin