It really is heartbreaking. IMO it should have never happened, who pushed for this?
I ain't hating on B&T, but I couldn't imagine at their age thinking this was a good idea.
EDIT. Hah. I am a moron, it was that fucked adoption service that pushed for this photo more than likely.
I'm on team it should never have happened. They should have been able to give her up through a legitimate service and gotten the open adoption they were lead to believe they were getting. Regardless of what you think of Tyler and Cate as people, they were taken advantage of as children and lead to believe they were getting something they weren't entitled to. FUCK Bethany Christian Services
There’s one girl who post on tiktok says it best, adoption is trauma that preys on the young, unprivileged, uneducated for rich privileged Christian folks.
Imagine if B&T really wanted a baby to have a good life and donated money to help teen parents raise and have the tools to raise a baby instead of paying $40,000 to have a pretty much baby trafficked to them?
Private adoption is pretty much legal human trafficking for babies. The money that goes into it, imagine how life changing it could be to help women trying to get on their feet to succeed
So much truth here. Also the idea that foster parents are given a stipend to raise other people’s children, where as so many families who’s kids get taken could avoid it if they were given a stipend instead…. I don’t mean to shit on fostering as a whole, there are so many necessary parts of the system, but why are is the system so ready to give money to “saviors” and not to those struggling? It’s really one of those things that’s just so fucked and broken in society, it can’t truly or justly be fixed. It’s so frustrating.
I completely agree. My parents adopted my little sister through Bethany Christian Services (upwards of $50k) and I have always said that it’s basically like legal human trafficking :/
That was the first thing I noticed. B&T are so happy and cheeky like it’s the greatest day of their lives (I mean, it probably was one of them) but then Cate and Tyler look exhausted, miserable and devastated. This probably ended up being one of the worst days of their lives. It’s eerie to look at.
Holy shit, it’s actually the most horrific thing ever. The absolute heart breaking devastation on T&C’s faces 😭💔😫😭💔😫 literally a snapshot of their trauma 😳
I don’t think so! They’re in bed with some pretty heavy hitters in michigan (Devos family, Meijer family) and have some level of protection but they’ve been sued by the state of Michigan and that’s public record I believe 💔
It absolutely disgusted me that while cate and ty we’re saying goodbye the ghoul that is dawn was saying hurry up and say goodbye the adopters want to see her and we can’t keep them waiting
I watched their episode of 16&P for the first time last year when I was pregnant with my daughter and I was crying so hard I got sick and I was upset for like 3 days. It’s one of the saddest human experiences i’ve ever had to watch.
I rewatched it the other day, and I ALWAYS cry everytime I watch it. It just makes me so sad. Dawn is a predator, who preyed on these lost children Butch and April are pieces of shit. These kids had no one on their side.
I thought it made me sad before having my son. But after knowing what it’s like to have a newborn their situation makes my sick with grief. I can’t imagine how badly this hurt. Every cell in your body craves your baby. You can’t understand it until you experience it. I would have died of grief if I couldn’t have my son.
So true. I had to be taken to the ER due to blood loss and post birth complications an hour after my son was born. And I knew he was safe with his father and I'd be with them again asap while they saved my life. Still the most jarring and devastating moment of my life. I bawled my eyes out while they wheeled me away arching to catch a last glimpse of my baby boy. It took so much strength for C&T to make this decision they knew was in the best interest of Carly.
I had my son early and they had to take him to the NICU bc he was having issues with feedings and temp regulation and when I tell you my room was filled with nurses when I had to hand my son over. They kept me at the hospital until my son got released 8 days later and it was the most traumatic experience. I could not imagine the pain and grief C&T were feeling in those moments.
This is exactly how I explain it to others. It’s like physical pain throughout your entire body and soul to be away from your baby. It physically hurts and aches. It’s the most bizarre all-encompassing pain.
I left him with my in-laws for 24 hours when he was 7 months old so we could get a little break. I spent the entire time thinking “I want my baby. I want my baby.” Over and over in my head on a loop. I couldn’t wait to get back to him.
This one and Kristina in season 4, her boyfriend drowned before their baby was born and she was alone in the hospital for a while before giving birth because of serious complications, heartbreaking.
It was the first episode I watched when the franchise premiered and if I’m not mistaken, was the season 1 finale. I was VERY anti-reality shows at the time but 17 year old me was sucked all the way in and sobbing right along with them. ETA and at the time I didn’t even understand how predatory all this was, I was just hurting so badly for those kids
Their episode is such a gut punch. The situation they were in was bad enough—horrible parents and living situation, little to no support, having to give up their first baby, and they’re still children themselves. And on top of all that, it’s aired on national television. The hardest thing that anyone could do, and it’s out there forever for anyone to see with commercials cut in between. I can’t really wrap my head around how traumatic it all must have been. I can’t rewatch it anymore, it just feels wrong to. :/
I fully believe Cate might have to; if given any time with Carly. Or looked into another agency at least. I think someone could have easily swayed her after the birth of Carly. Before maybe not, after I think so
Of course they do. They don’t cut anyone off, even their horrible family. For them to cut Dawn off would be for them to realise they were taken advantage of. Probably too huge emotionally for them to come to terms with.
That's the tactic of these private adoption industries.
They don't want the birth parents to spend to much time with the baby because a lot of times thats when they decide to keep the baby and they don't get their money
And that was exactly it. I placed my son for adoption but the nurses insisted I had the first 12 hours to myself to say goodbye the amount of calls and texts I got from his mom and dad were insane
My sister adopted my nephew in a private adoption… every single day when I wake up, I silently thank his bio mom for loving him as much as she did. I’ll add you to that thought too ❤️
Thank you 🥰 I appreciate that I truly do love him and didnt want to bring him home to the instability that was my life. My mom was a mix of barb with Deb’s zealot attitude so I knew he deserved more.
My nephew would’ve been her 4th kid if she had decided not to place him, and she was living in a homeless shelter at the time. She said yes, she loved him enough to want more for him, but she also loved her other 3 kids too and knew she didn’t have enough left of herself to give even more. Not just financially, but emotionally.
He’s going to be 12 soon; he’s my sister’s only kid, and her husband passed away from a brain tumor when my nephew was 2 (this is why it was a private adoption, they couldn’t get approved from an agency because he was terminal). The way everything happened seemed so much like fate. Sacrificing is just what mothers do… I hope you’ve been able to work through the trauma from having a mom like that, but you broke the cycle, so you are one of the rare strong ones 💪
I’m so sorry for your families loss. How awful to be denied for that. I firmly believe that adoption CAN be a beautiful thing, and it sounds like it was for you and your family 🥰if I ever had a chance to redo it I would go with a private adoption over a agency because I was just another number in their records book. A woman I became friendly with went thru a private lawyer and she felt the gratitude and thankfulness of the intended parents every moment
I obviously can’t speak to an agency, but I know their private adoption seemed to go really well. The bio mom wanted it to be very closed. My sister tried to keep track of her for a few years, but eventually, it got to be too hard and she lost her. I finally had to tell her that bio mom is allowed the agency to not be in their life. I understand my sister wanted to be able to give my nephew any info he wanted, but if this is what she needs to protect her peace, she deserves that.
If what Catelynn and Tyler went through with dawn was the usual agency thing, then I don’t blame you at all for saying that. The whole thing made me so uncomfortable back then, and I was mostly a teenager. And it still felt so exploitative and wrong
Sorry you had to go through that! What a crappy situation. Wanting to say goodbye but the adoptive parents are so eager & worried. I bet the pressure just adds more trauma to the whole thing.
They were like we are so excited to meet him!!! He looks just like you so handsome. The second was how are you doing Can we come up and see him?? Third one since I had ignored them all day was hope everything is alright!!!! They and the adoption counselor then came to the hospital to ensure I was okay Her name was Alma and she said oh we just were making sure things were going smoothly and clasped her hands together while staring at him and never once looked at me. My mom made her leave and said she’d contact the agency in 4 hours to come do the legal paperwork we signed it and off he went with them they got their own room with him too. I have never spoken to them since, the whole entire day was surrounding them and their needs and wants not the person who went thru hell to give them their dreams. The thing that traumatized me the most was the emptiness everyone told me how amazing how kind how beautiful it was and instantly shut me down if I felt any negative feeling at all.
I’m ok with it ik their names and have googled them he’s healthy well adjusted looks just like my brother so I’m glad they got their little boy and he does have a better life than I could have given him.
Wow, that’s so intrusive. I’m so sorry that they were negatively impacting the last few hours that you got to spend with your biological child. They know how hard it is not being able to conceive, you’d think they’d have some consideration and empathy about having to give a baby away. Thank you for sharing 🩵
Thank you that’s how I felt for a while, I even said in one of my therapy sessions I’m giving them a life time of hellos and goodbyes a life time of love and happiness and joy they can’t let me enjoy the small time I have with him? I KNOW there’s good adoption stories but the ones that are evangelical Christian associated are horrible
A GOOD qualified therapist works wonders. Honestly. Good for you. It took me a long time to find the right fit. Most people just accept the crap unqualified LMHC they first find and make 0 progress because they don’t know better.
Completely agree it too years of looking for a good therapist. My insurance no longer is in network with her and I can’t go back anymore which was devastating and I hope I can find someone else if I need it
And Brandon and Theresa are just happy as clams to buy a healthy white baby from two poverty stricken teens who are clearly in distress about the decision.
Could they still have changed their minds at that point? I assumed they were rushing it because they were worried they might not go through with it. Not that it makes it any better, but it sort of makes more sense than just trying to keep them from saying goodbye how they wanted to.
Until you give birth then sign the papers, you can change your mind. That’s why Cate had to give her to Theresa off the hospital premises. They wouldn’t allow it in the hospital because she was a minor and didn’t have her moms permission. So while they were in the hospital she was technically still Cate’s and Theresa was just a visitor. If you go back and watch the episode you can see the fear in their face when Ty comes out to tell them that Cate changed her mind about holding her and saying goodbye. They were worried she would change her mind. And why dawn comes in, 5 hours after her birth to tell her make her friends and family leave for B&T. She literally looks pissed. She’s such a creep.
They could have they just wanted to meet Carly, instead of taking over custody. They could have taken Carly back up to I think a month past the adoption being finalized (in my state it was a month idk about Michigan specifically) and cate should have been allowed to do so, it’s an extremely extremely traumatic experience not being able to say goodbye to the baby you bonded with for 9 months. All dawn cares about was $$$$$
Ugh.. I never thought about it but I bet she got commission for this adoption! A big hunk of cash for the lady who is able to swindle a baby away from nervous teen parents.
Law sides with birth parents. C & T could have told all of them to eff off. That's why it's rushed. It's freaking awful because caitlynn and tyler where just kids. I don't think either of them realized how final it was.
Dawn didn’t want to lose her $25k and allow T&C to feel even more of an emotional connection to C than they already did. Bethany is a money making machine rooted in trauma, nothing more.
They were terrified they would change their minds. Especially Catelyn if she had more time with her. They see babies as profit and nothing else. It's disgusting.
There’s something very unsettling about seeing these two old Christian nationalist; with their plastered on smiles, holding a baby they are taking from two bawling teenagers.
Idk why people ride so hard for them. Like yeah, Tyler and Cate are often inappropriate, but b and t are not it, either. I hope Carly has one normal person in her life somewhere.
Honestly; for all T&C’s problems they are the better choice and they probably wouldn’t have so many problems if they weren’t prayed upon by B&T and that scummy Christian Adoption Agency.
There’s different choice than continuing the cycle and Christian baby snatchers. Carly deserved better than either option.
Adoption needs a complete and utter overhaul but for the circumstances they were in they needed a trauma informed family for Carly and T&C needed therapy and to be trauma informed as well from the start of the process.
There’s different choice than continuing the cycle and Christian baby snatchers. Carly deserved better than either option.
Adoption needs a complete and utter overhaul but for the circumstances they were in they needed a trauma informed family for Carly and T&C needed therapy and to be trauma informed as well from the start of the process.
Right! She couldn’t wait to get her hands on that baby. The whole thing is disturbing to watch as an adult especially in the current climate; each because B&T helped create the America that we see now.
That fact right there BOILS my blood. This Handmaid’s Tale come to life, these religious freaks are forcing us to live in. And reading so many comments praising B & T is disconcerting. Just because they look good on paper doesn’t mean they ARE good.
I understand they desperately wanted a baby for years so that must've been a really exciting moment but at the same time I just don't think I could be experiencing much joy while witnessing all the pain this was causing CnT. It's all so messy
I don’t get the point here though. These 2 Christian’s were ready for a baby. Financially sound, stable, etc. C & T were 16, emotionally unstable, with 2 drug and alcohol addicted parents in a scary, unhealthy environment with 20 dollars to their name. Are these 2 Christian’s not supposed to smile? Were C&T supposed to raise the baby, with no money or emotional stability? I don’t get everyone’s point with this shit.
I understand they didn’t realize exactly what they were doing at the age of 16, but why do we blame the people trying to put Carly in a safe home? Why don’t we blame C&Ts parents who should’ve helped them, given them guidance during the process, sat down and explained exactly what they were doing. Oh yeah, they were too high and drunk.
I just really don’t understand this thread. I get it’s sad to see how sad C&T were in this pic, but they made a decision, got pregnant when not even close to ready, and chose to place their daughter. Someone correct me if I’m wrong. And I am not trying to be insensitive.
Rewatch it and see if you feel the same. B&T are deeply disturbing people. Go look up where they work; they are explicitly part of why Roe v Wade was overturned..Brandon especially. They are predators in every sense of the word. But it sounds like you think they are “good Christian’s” so I doubt any of this will land.
I don't think it's that people think they were ready and/or could have raised her. I think it's the fact that placing a child for adoption, while still being minors themselves, with no parental support or proper guidance throughout the process is even.. legal?
Don't get me wrong, if a 16 year old girl gets pregnant and has a living situation like Cate's, by ALL MEANS I want this to be one of the available options to her, even without parental permission/support.
But in those cases I feel like there should at least be some sort of ... advocate, or something? For the pregnant teen/teen couple... someone not affiliated with the adoption agency, someone familiar and knowledgeable about the process. Something like that. Someone knowledgeable of the process, someone of sound mind unlike Butch and April, someone who could be there to help facilitate the process on their behalf, but also to ensure that the literal minor children understand everything they're signing and agreeing to, and what things will look like realistically in the future, etc. Someone there for them to ensure everything is clear. B & T had Dawn. Cate and Ty had ...each other, basically.
They for sure should have had a guardian ad litem type person to thoroughly explain what they were doing and expectations moving forward. Someone there to answer any questions and to explain the “contract” to them. For Dawn to have the title of adoption counselor she didn’t do a whole lotta counseling.
THIS. Imagine bringing up Carly in that hell hole with Butch and April either high or drunk or coming down. Remember when Cate brought her “mother” along for prom dress shopping and verbally abused her the whole time in front of her friend? Their parents are absolute pieces of shit and having a baby around their shit would’ve set up Carly for a life of hell.
is growing up a fundamentalist any better, really? she might be fed, clothed, and have a stable roof over her head but we haven’t the slightest clue if she’s getting verbally abused under C&T’s care or damaged in other ways. they don’t even believe her body belongs to her.
The phrase "adoption doesn't necessarily give you a better life, just a different life" is popular in the adoption community for a reason. No one knows if Carly would have been better off with C&T or B&T. C&T were in a bad place, but their problems were temporary.
The problem with adoption is it is set up for the adoptive parents. Not the bio parents and not the children. Why wasnt there systems that could help C&T get the support they needed to get out of their living environment and keep their baby like they had wanted? Separating the maternal child bond shouldn't be the first option. Buying someone else's baby shouldn't be a common thing. More bio parents need support to keep the children they want to keep. Plug for SavingOurSisters because I know they do a lot to keep mothers and babies together.
You can point out how B&T took advantage of their situation and realize it wasn’t the best for Carly. It is a good thing Carly didn’t have to grow up in their family cuz yikes but at the same time cate was a child making adult decisions with no support from anyone but a predatory adoption agency. B&T wanted a closed adoption and C&T wanted an open adoption so they went with open because they were that eager for a baby.
It’s the juxtaposition in the photo most people find striking. I also have my major problems with adoption as an adoptee. In the wealthiest country in the world the best option we have found- even after many states have made abortion illegal - is not to support young mothers, the best option is to sell your child to the highest bidder? It sucks that some people cannot conceive but commodifying birth is wrong to me. And let’s say nothing of the trauma that being separated from your birth family brings. I hope B & T have her in therapy to help her process that but hearing how crazy religious they are, I’m thinking they probably don’t believe in therapy
There’s one girl who post on tiktok says it best, adoption is trauma that preys on the young, unprivileged, uneducated for rich privileged Christian folks.
Imagine if B&T really wanted a baby to have a good life and donated money to help teen parents raise and have the tools to raise a baby instead of paying $40,000 to have a pretty much baby trafficked to them?
Private adoption is pretty much legal human trafficking for babies. The money that goes into it, imagine how life changing it could be to help women trying to get on their feet to succeed
This is absolutely heartbreaking. I can't watch catelynn and Tyler's 16&pregnant episode because it gets me every time. It doesn't help that I think Brandon and Theresa are terrible, hateful people. They give me big Jim Bob and Michelle vibes
They are both shitty people who believe in and help fund hate organizations fighting against women’s rights, lgbtq+ rights, and immigration. Fuck em straight to hell.
The fact that Caitlyn and Tyler signed those adoption papers thinking B&T were basically babysitting their child tells me the adoption agency was predatory.
C&T absolutely should’ve had a lawyer or 3rd party (other than Dawn) to really explain to them what the papers they were signing meant. I think they were under the impression the adoption was going to be much more open than it turned out to be.
This is what I was trying to say in a previous response on this thread.
Since they were minors and had basically no parental support or guidance, there should be some sort of third party "advocate" of sorts, unaffiliated with the adoption agency, to make sure they, as minors, actually understood everything they were signing and agreeing to. B&T had Dawn. They only had each other.
It was such a shitty situation and it's hard to watch. Also hard to know that there are probably countless minors who even now, are still/currently going into this with Bethany Christian Services who have no parental support or guidance and are just doing what they know is best for their situations, but without actually understanding what any of it truly means for the future.
Just doesn't seem right.
I don’t think they believed it was babysitting. I think they were lead to believe they would have more access albeit limited access. Like pictures and regular annual visits. Even someone with very limited knowledge on adoption would know that it’s more than babysitting. The pain in their faces shows that they know it is not just babysitting.
Exactly not to mention they literally did an episode (or was it a social media post?) where they showed Nova's baby pics next to Carly's and they're literally identical. Like just photoshop Nova's face on there same difference
Especially because baby Carly was shown on the show anyways… It’s very unlikely Carly would be recognized based on any images the general public is privy to. Covering her newborn face seems… performative.
This photo makes me hate (most) adoption for life. America is supposed to be a first world country, but doesn't have the infrastructure to support and facilitate teen parents to thrive as parents. Disgusting.
This! There is no benefit from Abstinence-only “education” (nothing educational about limited and biased information). This country is so bizarre when it comes to sex. Can’t talk about sex in the scientific/biological sense to students, but will gladly use sex to advertise literally anything from hamburgers to cleaning products. It’s absolutely nuts.
cate and tyler are both actively crying in this pic - FUUUUCK bethany christian services and fuck brenananteresa for their stupid beaming smiles this shit is so tone deaf
Right? B&T couldn't care less about Cate and Ty in this moment. They got their healthy white baby and that's all that matters. This whole entire situation was so messed up.
Adoption is traumatic. I blame MTV for continuing to use this as a storyline. It's not fair to any of them.
Tyler and Cate if you really care...stop using your platform to whine. All it does is cause the crazy fans to further harass B&T and Carly.
Stop trying to establish a relationship between Nova and Carly. They are still so young and may not be close.
Yeah - honestly, the more I learn and the older I get, I can't believe that adoption is still so heavily suggested in some communities for situations like this.
This stems from literal propaganda from the adoption industry.
How adoption works in the us is crazy, it's so unregulated and unethical. They made a multi billion dollar industry out of getting the baby's from struggling pregnant women.
It's legal human trafficking.
Worse, Brandon has his own financial planning/management office. So these "fans" were tying up his office phone lines and sending nasty emails, thus impeding his ability to do business. Most larger companies have policies in place for things like this (example: my grandmother was harassing her son at work after he refused to take her side in grandma and grandpa's divorce after 54 years of marriage. He told his supervisor who escalated it, the company got him a new extension that was unpublished outside the internal company directory. The police also paid a visit to grandma at the request of my uncle's employer.) to keep stuff like this from disrupting things, but a small business doesn't.
I don't agree with B and T's political and religious beliefs but I also don't believe anyone should be disrupted at their place of employment. I feel for C and T up to a point and I understand the anger a lot of people have about Bethany Christian Services. But I also see a lot of misplaced anger here, people crapping on B and T. Adoption is so complex and I can't fault B and T for deciding to adopt after trying to grow their family other ways and not having success.
I remember that. This topic always brings out the weirdos of this tv show’s viewers because they downvote anything against glorifying Cate and Tyler. I understand it was traumatic, but for them to continue to use this storyline YEARS after B&T have declined being on the show again is nuts. They can simply say Carly is continuing to do well with her parents but instead they choose to still speak on this subject and say nasty things about B&T and stay surprised they don’t hear from them anymore.
It’s absolutely gut wrenching. I do not understand how people can’t wrap their heads around this. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIKE THEM TO EXTEND ANY AMOUNT OF HUMAN DECENCY TO THEM.
It's evil to recruit pregnant teenagers when they're at the lowest point of their lives, hormonal, and desperate without a support system, to trap them using legal contracts to then basically sell their fetuses to rich adults. The power imbalance makes it inherently unethical and immoral.
Just seeing that picture makes me cry, Brandon and Theresa are both literal POS.
No normal person with just a little bit empathy in their mind could be smiling next to crying teens going through the hardest thing in their life.
They bought a baby while keeping the biological parents under false pretences, they acted highly unethical and still got praised as good people. If there's a hell, both of them will burn in it for what they did to these poor teenagers.
Everyone commenting about how sad they are - I’m positive that pain has only gotten WORSE with time yet so much of this sub has zero sympathy for the things they do/say. Idc what anyone says, their entire lives have been full of the most severe trauma and they are handling it much better than I’d expect people in their shoes to.
I know, I've actually gotten complelty downvoted and argued with when I defend them.
It's okay to not agree with everything someone does but but judge them by being human is crazy to me. Alot of people are just ignorant to mental health and trauma. I'm suprised how much compassion and positive comments came from these 2 posts I made.
I also find alot of people follow the herd to to speak so they'll jump on the band wagon with thr nasty comments.
I agree with your last sentence too. The other day someone tried to tell me cate is just like April. She's just as emotionally stunted and is the same mother that April was. Like are we watching the same show!? They've done SO much work on themselves and have compelty turned the generational tables for how their kids are raised and going to raise their kids. Most ppl don't even have that mental awareness let alone put the work in.
I honestly wanna give them both a big hug.
OK but they were 16 and I'm betting it feels a lot different when your child is actually born and you have to hand her off to a pair of strangers after less than 24 hours of knowing her. These are traumatised children. Traumatised children don't always think rationally or make good choices.
Imagine if cate has found an organization like saving our sisters and had been able to move into temporary housing, learn a skill and a get a job, move on from Tyler, and keep her first baby though. It would have been life changing.
I'm a social worker, and one of my friends in undergrad did their senior fieldwork at a Bethany office. By the end, she cried every day before going into work because she felt like a child trafficker. Couples like B&T hand over an insane amount of money (circa 2007/2008, it was around $30,000 minimum) to Bethany and in exchange, Bethany hands them a healthy white infant. And often that entire fee isn't received until "delivery" of the baby to the adoptive parents and they would even move the expectant mothers across state lines if the states weren't "adoption friendly," aka didn't allow for private, commercialized adoptions. They also liked to have mothers deliver in states with short periods to change your mind; for example, some states give biological parents up to a year after surrender to rescind the adoption whereas other states (Utah used to be one, may still be) only have a 30-day window. People love to discuss how commercial surrogacy is exploiting poor women and buying babies, but private adoption can and is just as predatory but is oftentimes pushed as more noble.
Why does everyone assume Carly is better off with B and T? They are hateful, bigoted Christians. They preyed upon C and T to get their precious white infant. With their politics they probably won’t even love Carly if she doesn’t tow the Fundie line. Money does not good parents make. I would be so sad knowing that these ideas and this backwards culture was being passed on to my biological child as the birth parents.
I bet C and T have far more empathy and understanding which could be an asset to Carly had they been allowed to keep her.
Adoption is trauma. There should be programs in place to keep biological families together instead of ripping them apart due to poverty and poor circumstances.
I don’t see why C and T get so much hate for speaking openly about how they feel.
B and T don’t need to be praised for taking on children that were not their own.. they are no better and had they not had fertility problems they would not have been on the market for adoptable infants.
This whole thing makes my heart hurt and although I don’t particularly like C and T, but I understand their perspective and it’s wild to watch this sub tear them apart and imply all of these crazy things about them wanting visits with Carly.
And I just know B and T are moral police who probably have a vested interest in keeping them away and are probably hiding behind the guise of Fundie Christian belief’s to do so. Just not less ye be judged.. I just get the ick from Carly‘s adoptive parents.
I hope she has support from B and T if she turns out more liberal than them.. but somehow, I doubt it. ☹️
All this... 10000 percent. I honestly think she'd be better with cait and ty. But cait and ty didn't know how they're life would be. That's why I also think in the moment they made the best decision with what they knew. But I 100 percent agree. B and t are ultra conservative Christians, who are judgemental towards alot of people and live in a bubble as far as I'm concerned.
I agree with you. Despite their mental issues and boundary issues with April they are good parents especially given the circumstances they have come from. Someone doing sex work, while not a choice I would make, does not make them an unfit parent.
Furthermore just because B and T show up looking white and conservative and because they could afford a baby broker doesn’t make them automatically the best choice. It makes them potential parents via their purchasing power. It is harmful to raise anti-LGBTQ children, anti-choice children, children, especially girl children who are modeled a family life as something aspirational and are therefore likely to grow up very male centered. All of that, if B and T follow the tenants of their American Christo-Fascist faith, are probably being thrust upon Carly.
C and T made the best decision they could have at the time. Still, they were children and these baby vultures definitely misled them about even wanting an open adoption. C and T were never good enough in their eyes! I mean if they were they would have, in the eyes of B and T, been able to keep Carly!
C and T are not indebted to them for taking their child. They are not saints. I would, if I were them, be worried about the prejudices that could be instilled in their biological daughter by her parents.
T seems like a passive aggressive person anyway. I bet you they have given C and T the run around about Carly.
True C and T need to chill with their expectations that she could want a relationship with them when she is an adult.. but I side eye any adoptive parents that put wedges between biological parents when it is proven that open adoption, when the adoptive parents are safe, has better outcomes for children than to be cut off from their genetic family completely. It takes a village and I truly feel Teresa probably burned a bit of that village down feeling insecure about mothering in proximity to her bio mom.
They may not like how C and T are, but they could have some empathy and gratitude for them and their sacrifice and communicate OPENLY about what is going on. It would most likely give them peace of mind knowing it was Carly who doesn’t want to interact right now, which B and T should be able to say to them without sugar coating it.
I am sure it would hurt, but they would respect it. I hope in the future that child welfare considers religious extremism when it comes to qualifying families to adopt. Religious adoption agencies shouldn’t exist.. it’s like they are looking for vulnerable children to indoctrinate.. and they get a pass to do so because we put these conservative families on a pedestal as a society. Just sad ☹️
This is heartbreaking. Those poor kids. As I get older I realize that adoption is more traumatic and painful than I thought before. Especially interracial adoption. Probably still better than all the kids around me living in group homes (aka orphanages) but it’s so problematic and I wish it were simpler.
Yeah, B&T’s smiles here gives the creeps, especially in comparison to how heartbroken Caitlyn’s and Tyler’s faces look. I feel sympathy for the teenagers they once were.
It’s the fundie plaster smile. If you’ve lived it you can spot it a mile away. Iykyk. I don’t LOVE C&Ts choices but it’s all unresolved trauma. I don’t place any blame on C&T for having that trauma and struggling with it. I DO blame “dawn the destroyer” and Bethany and B&T though.
Fundies suck 💯
You don’t have to apologize, OP. Carly’s parents never had a problem with her baby and toddler pictures being shown on tv and the internet, just with pictures of her where she’s older.
I wish those adoption agencies would be shut down and the people running them imprisoned. They are predatory baby sellers who prey on children and vulnerable people.
This picture is so icky… on the left you have two adults on one of the best days of their lives and on the right two children on the absolute worse day of their lives. I’m sure they’re glad they have this picture to commemorate that.
Brandon and Thersea have always given me the absolute creeps. Private adoption is so predatory. The propaganda that you're giving your baby a better life is just nonsense. There's no guarantee the baby will have a better life especially with randos who have bought you.
This will always break my heart. I still remember the first time I saw her 16 & pregnant episode and how after she gave birth she didn’t want to see the baby. I’ll always have a lot of sympathy for Cait, she was just a teenager who went through so much trauma with basically no support.
When this aired I was pregnant with my oldest. I cried so hard watching Cait hand her over. It looked like they were tearing her heart out. They have made bad choices but she was in such pain.
I remember watching this episode when my oldest was a baby. He’s a little over a month older than Carly and I sobbed the entire episode. They really didn’t have anyone in their corner and it’s absolutely heartbreaking.
As someone who has placed a child, i have my own collection of final photos with my birth baby... and me and my husband look just as depressed and defeated.
No matter what the situation with the organizations...
This is so hard to do. And yet, for the adoptive parents, its a new baby. So its a happy moment.
I dont have photos of me and my husband and birth child WITH the adoptive family right before placement...
But yes. The difference between what each couple is doing in that moment in life is so absolutely opposite emotionally.
This picture makes me sad.
If they only knew about the MTV checks coming in for the next two decades.
I can't imagine they don't experience regrets.
And having 3 more could be viewed as over compensation to fill a never ending void. ..
Or maybe not.
But it's ridiculous the adoptive parents agreed to a open relationship with them, to then put restrictions on it after the child had already been put on TV and it was clear they wanted to fulfill the open agreement....
That is not right. Why agree to just not abide. All very odd.
But also MTV wanted to follow a story of adoption.
So if they hadn't , they may not have gotten the checks. So messed up
B&T have always given me an uneasy feeling. Even aside from my personal feelings on the hateful conservative Christian people they are, they just always seemed to think they were above C&T and better than them. Like they were doing them a favor by taking their bio child and giving her a “proper” life instead of C&T doing THEM the favor of the biggest sacrifice you can give to your child that you love and want better for. Theresa always seemed fake with the matching bracelets and lovey dovey shit. Same with Brandon playing that kind of father role to Ty. Just playing a part for tv and to get the baby. After a few annual visits I don’t think they could keep up the facade anymore. I’d bet my life Carly has never even seen that bracelet that she acted like was so so precious and would be a perfect little gift for older Carly to wear to remember the sacrifice Cate made and would bond all 3 of them together. Bullshit. and I’d also bet my life that Theresa hasn’t looked at or worn hers in a decade atleast.
The absolute dichotomy between Brandon and Teresa’s cemented smiles and Tyler and Caitlyn’s red, swollen, teary eyes is so jarring.
Yeah it really makes me sad.
It really is heartbreaking. IMO it should have never happened, who pushed for this? I ain't hating on B&T, but I couldn't imagine at their age thinking this was a good idea. EDIT. Hah. I am a moron, it was that fucked adoption service that pushed for this photo more than likely.
Before your edit I thought you meant the actual adoption shouldn't have happened and I gotta tell you I was WALLOPED.
I'm on team it should never have happened. They should have been able to give her up through a legitimate service and gotten the open adoption they were lead to believe they were getting. Regardless of what you think of Tyler and Cate as people, they were taken advantage of as children and lead to believe they were getting something they weren't entitled to. FUCK Bethany Christian Services
Oh I by no means think it should've happened through Bethany. But the adoption itself absolutely should have.
Caitlyn's face here really breaks my heart. It's obvious she's been crying for hours.
That was the saddest thing I've seen on MTV..broke my heart for them.
There’s one girl who post on tiktok says it best, adoption is trauma that preys on the young, unprivileged, uneducated for rich privileged Christian folks. Imagine if B&T really wanted a baby to have a good life and donated money to help teen parents raise and have the tools to raise a baby instead of paying $40,000 to have a pretty much baby trafficked to them? Private adoption is pretty much legal human trafficking for babies. The money that goes into it, imagine how life changing it could be to help women trying to get on their feet to succeed
So much truth here. Also the idea that foster parents are given a stipend to raise other people’s children, where as so many families who’s kids get taken could avoid it if they were given a stipend instead…. I don’t mean to shit on fostering as a whole, there are so many necessary parts of the system, but why are is the system so ready to give money to “saviors” and not to those struggling? It’s really one of those things that’s just so fucked and broken in society, it can’t truly or justly be fixed. It’s so frustrating.
The adoption consultant walking in the deliveryoom to speed up the handover haunts me fr
I completely agree. My parents adopted my little sister through Bethany Christian Services (upwards of $50k) and I have always said that it’s basically like legal human trafficking :/
absolutely heartbreaking
This
That was the first thing I noticed. B&T are so happy and cheeky like it’s the greatest day of their lives (I mean, it probably was one of them) but then Cate and Tyler look exhausted, miserable and devastated. This probably ended up being one of the worst days of their lives. It’s eerie to look at.
Holy shit, it’s actually the most horrific thing ever. The absolute heart breaking devastation on T&C’s faces 😭💔😫😭💔😫 literally a snapshot of their trauma 😳
Bethany services is disgusting. Even if it wasn’t for C&T, that place needs to be shut down.
Has anyone done a documentary on Bethany? I would love to watch, them and most ultra religious adoption agencies should be banned.
I don’t think so! They’re in bed with some pretty heavy hitters in michigan (Devos family, Meijer family) and have some level of protection but they’ve been sued by the state of Michigan and that’s public record I believe 💔
Meijers? What do they do for Bethany and why?
Most likely large amounts of financial support. They're all part of that Christian Reformed Church I believe.
Hendrik Meijer was an anarchist and socialist. My how things have changed.
Oh my. That's good to know.
It absolutely disgusted me that while cate and ty we’re saying goodbye the ghoul that is dawn was saying hurry up and say goodbye the adopters want to see her and we can’t keep them waiting
the fact that this was all filmed was so cruel
Like let them say goodbye to their baby, and soak up the moments they want. Theresa was so eager to get her claws on Carly it was disgusting.
Theresa is a monster
I found my people
Yessss me too- B&T, dawn, and Bethany Christian services are all evil
Amen. Nobody is owed a baby. Infertile people are not owed babies from scared teenagers.
me too!
Finally someone here I agree with on this topic.
Her and Brandon’s ghoulish grins compared to Cate and Ty’s faces…. Just heartbreaking
I watched their episode of 16&P for the first time last year when I was pregnant with my daughter and I was crying so hard I got sick and I was upset for like 3 days. It’s one of the saddest human experiences i’ve ever had to watch.
I rewatched it the other day, and I ALWAYS cry everytime I watch it. It just makes me so sad. Dawn is a predator, who preyed on these lost children Butch and April are pieces of shit. These kids had no one on their side.
I thought it made me sad before having my son. But after knowing what it’s like to have a newborn their situation makes my sick with grief. I can’t imagine how badly this hurt. Every cell in your body craves your baby. You can’t understand it until you experience it. I would have died of grief if I couldn’t have my son.
Wow. Your comment chilled my blood because you're right. Kinda makes me have more empathy for C&T.
So true. I had to be taken to the ER due to blood loss and post birth complications an hour after my son was born. And I knew he was safe with his father and I'd be with them again asap while they saved my life. Still the most jarring and devastating moment of my life. I bawled my eyes out while they wheeled me away arching to catch a last glimpse of my baby boy. It took so much strength for C&T to make this decision they knew was in the best interest of Carly.
I had my son early and they had to take him to the NICU bc he was having issues with feedings and temp regulation and when I tell you my room was filled with nurses when I had to hand my son over. They kept me at the hospital until my son got released 8 days later and it was the most traumatic experience. I could not imagine the pain and grief C&T were feeling in those moments.
This is exactly how I explain it to others. It’s like physical pain throughout your entire body and soul to be away from your baby. It physically hurts and aches. It’s the most bizarre all-encompassing pain.
I left him with my in-laws for 24 hours when he was 7 months old so we could get a little break. I spent the entire time thinking “I want my baby. I want my baby.” Over and over in my head on a loop. I couldn’t wait to get back to him.
I think it might be the *only* episode I’ll never re-watch. It’s too painful.
This one and Kristina in season 4, her boyfriend drowned before their baby was born and she was alone in the hospital for a while before giving birth because of serious complications, heartbreaking.
It really is a documentary of the horrors of teen pregnancy and what these girls go through
It was the first episode I watched when the franchise premiered and if I’m not mistaken, was the season 1 finale. I was VERY anti-reality shows at the time but 17 year old me was sucked all the way in and sobbing right along with them. ETA and at the time I didn’t even understand how predatory all this was, I was just hurting so badly for those kids
I agree! I lost it when Tyler presented Cait with the blanket he took
Their episode is such a gut punch. The situation they were in was bad enough—horrible parents and living situation, little to no support, having to give up their first baby, and they’re still children themselves. And on top of all that, it’s aired on national television. The hardest thing that anyone could do, and it’s out there forever for anyone to see with commercials cut in between. I can’t really wrap my head around how traumatic it all must have been. I can’t rewatch it anymore, it just feels wrong to. :/
I’m adopted, and if I saw a video of my handoff, I’d probably have to be sedated. It’s 100% exploitative.
Ugh I can’t imagine Carly watching it. I hope she never gets curious enough to look it up
It’s sad too bc I wonder how many times C&T must watch any MTV footage with Carlie in it too.
Dawn was absolutely terrified Cate would change her mind. She didn't want Cate spending time with Carly. Dawn is a disgusting beast.
I fully believe Cate might have to; if given any time with Carly. Or looked into another agency at least. I think someone could have easily swayed her after the birth of Carly. Before maybe not, after I think so
I would've told Dawn to shut the fuck up, and that I'll take however long I want. It's sad that C & T still trust her to this day.
Of course they do. They don’t cut anyone off, even their horrible family. For them to cut Dawn off would be for them to realise they were taken advantage of. Probably too huge emotionally for them to come to terms with.
That's the tactic of these private adoption industries. They don't want the birth parents to spend to much time with the baby because a lot of times thats when they decide to keep the baby and they don't get their money
They didn’t want to give them any time to have second thoughts. Sad.
And that was exactly it. I placed my son for adoption but the nurses insisted I had the first 12 hours to myself to say goodbye the amount of calls and texts I got from his mom and dad were insane
My sister adopted my nephew in a private adoption… every single day when I wake up, I silently thank his bio mom for loving him as much as she did. I’ll add you to that thought too ❤️
Thank you 🥰 I appreciate that I truly do love him and didnt want to bring him home to the instability that was my life. My mom was a mix of barb with Deb’s zealot attitude so I knew he deserved more.
My nephew would’ve been her 4th kid if she had decided not to place him, and she was living in a homeless shelter at the time. She said yes, she loved him enough to want more for him, but she also loved her other 3 kids too and knew she didn’t have enough left of herself to give even more. Not just financially, but emotionally. He’s going to be 12 soon; he’s my sister’s only kid, and her husband passed away from a brain tumor when my nephew was 2 (this is why it was a private adoption, they couldn’t get approved from an agency because he was terminal). The way everything happened seemed so much like fate. Sacrificing is just what mothers do… I hope you’ve been able to work through the trauma from having a mom like that, but you broke the cycle, so you are one of the rare strong ones 💪
I’m so sorry for your families loss. How awful to be denied for that. I firmly believe that adoption CAN be a beautiful thing, and it sounds like it was for you and your family 🥰if I ever had a chance to redo it I would go with a private adoption over a agency because I was just another number in their records book. A woman I became friendly with went thru a private lawyer and she felt the gratitude and thankfulness of the intended parents every moment
I obviously can’t speak to an agency, but I know their private adoption seemed to go really well. The bio mom wanted it to be very closed. My sister tried to keep track of her for a few years, but eventually, it got to be too hard and she lost her. I finally had to tell her that bio mom is allowed the agency to not be in their life. I understand my sister wanted to be able to give my nephew any info he wanted, but if this is what she needs to protect her peace, she deserves that. If what Catelynn and Tyler went through with dawn was the usual agency thing, then I don’t blame you at all for saying that. The whole thing made me so uncomfortable back then, and I was mostly a teenager. And it still felt so exploitative and wrong
Sorry you had to go through that! What a crappy situation. Wanting to say goodbye but the adoptive parents are so eager & worried. I bet the pressure just adds more trauma to the whole thing.
What were they saying to you? 😣
They were like we are so excited to meet him!!! He looks just like you so handsome. The second was how are you doing Can we come up and see him?? Third one since I had ignored them all day was hope everything is alright!!!! They and the adoption counselor then came to the hospital to ensure I was okay Her name was Alma and she said oh we just were making sure things were going smoothly and clasped her hands together while staring at him and never once looked at me. My mom made her leave and said she’d contact the agency in 4 hours to come do the legal paperwork we signed it and off he went with them they got their own room with him too. I have never spoken to them since, the whole entire day was surrounding them and their needs and wants not the person who went thru hell to give them their dreams. The thing that traumatized me the most was the emptiness everyone told me how amazing how kind how beautiful it was and instantly shut me down if I felt any negative feeling at all. I’m ok with it ik their names and have googled them he’s healthy well adjusted looks just like my brother so I’m glad they got their little boy and he does have a better life than I could have given him.
Wow, that’s so intrusive. I’m so sorry that they were negatively impacting the last few hours that you got to spend with your biological child. They know how hard it is not being able to conceive, you’d think they’d have some consideration and empathy about having to give a baby away. Thank you for sharing 🩵
Thank you that’s how I felt for a while, I even said in one of my therapy sessions I’m giving them a life time of hellos and goodbyes a life time of love and happiness and joy they can’t let me enjoy the small time I have with him? I KNOW there’s good adoption stories but the ones that are evangelical Christian associated are horrible
Wow I am so sorry that was your experience. I’m glad to hear you’ve come to terms with it. You’re a strong person and I respect the heck out of you!
Thank you 🥰 it took a lot of therapy and self affirmations I truly wish cate and Tyler would do the same they’re only hurting themselves
A GOOD qualified therapist works wonders. Honestly. Good for you. It took me a long time to find the right fit. Most people just accept the crap unqualified LMHC they first find and make 0 progress because they don’t know better.
Completely agree it too years of looking for a good therapist. My insurance no longer is in network with her and I can’t go back anymore which was devastating and I hope I can find someone else if I need it
And Brandon and Theresa are just happy as clams to buy a healthy white baby from two poverty stricken teens who are clearly in distress about the decision.
Yeah pretty much..that picture says it All..
Could they still have changed their minds at that point? I assumed they were rushing it because they were worried they might not go through with it. Not that it makes it any better, but it sort of makes more sense than just trying to keep them from saying goodbye how they wanted to.
Until you give birth then sign the papers, you can change your mind. That’s why Cate had to give her to Theresa off the hospital premises. They wouldn’t allow it in the hospital because she was a minor and didn’t have her moms permission. So while they were in the hospital she was technically still Cate’s and Theresa was just a visitor. If you go back and watch the episode you can see the fear in their face when Ty comes out to tell them that Cate changed her mind about holding her and saying goodbye. They were worried she would change her mind. And why dawn comes in, 5 hours after her birth to tell her make her friends and family leave for B&T. She literally looks pissed. She’s such a creep.
Yes, it was like Dawn was trying to ‘close the sale’. Blech.
They could have they just wanted to meet Carly, instead of taking over custody. They could have taken Carly back up to I think a month past the adoption being finalized (in my state it was a month idk about Michigan specifically) and cate should have been allowed to do so, it’s an extremely extremely traumatic experience not being able to say goodbye to the baby you bonded with for 9 months. All dawn cares about was $$$$$
Ugh.. I never thought about it but I bet she got commission for this adoption! A big hunk of cash for the lady who is able to swindle a baby away from nervous teen parents.
My understanding is they could back out anytime before handing her over but Im not a lawyer so don't quote me
Yes but they probably make you feel like you can’t. Especially when you’re young and/or poor and/or lack supportive people.
Yes I was reminded a few times about if I backed out id be on the hook for paying the agency back for the insurance and food stipend they gave me
Wow that really puts you between a rock and a hard place!!!
Right I’m sure they didn’t fill them in on the law. They count on young naive people fueling their human trafficking business that’s somehow legal!
You can actually back out anytime before legal termination of parental rights.
Law sides with birth parents. C & T could have told all of them to eff off. That's why it's rushed. It's freaking awful because caitlynn and tyler where just kids. I don't think either of them realized how final it was.
Yep, they were clinging on to the “it’s not goodbye, it’s see you later” mantra
Dawn didn’t want to lose her $25k and allow T&C to feel even more of an emotional connection to C than they already did. Bethany is a money making machine rooted in trauma, nothing more.
They were terrified they would change their minds. Especially Catelyn if she had more time with her. They see babies as profit and nothing else. It's disgusting.
So gross. I bet she was worried they would change their mind.
There’s something very unsettling about seeing these two old Christian nationalist; with their plastered on smiles, holding a baby they are taking from two bawling teenagers.
Idk why people ride so hard for them. Like yeah, Tyler and Cate are often inappropriate, but b and t are not it, either. I hope Carly has one normal person in her life somewhere.
Honestly; for all T&C’s problems they are the better choice and they probably wouldn’t have so many problems if they weren’t prayed upon by B&T and that scummy Christian Adoption Agency.
There’s different choice than continuing the cycle and Christian baby snatchers. Carly deserved better than either option. Adoption needs a complete and utter overhaul but for the circumstances they were in they needed a trauma informed family for Carly and T&C needed therapy and to be trauma informed as well from the start of the process.
There’s different choice than continuing the cycle and Christian baby snatchers. Carly deserved better than either option. Adoption needs a complete and utter overhaul but for the circumstances they were in they needed a trauma informed family for Carly and T&C needed therapy and to be trauma informed as well from the start of the process.
So predatory. I can still see the crazed look in Teresa’s eyes as she’s reaching for Carly. They practically ran to their car.
Right! She couldn’t wait to get her hands on that baby. The whole thing is disturbing to watch as an adult especially in the current climate; each because B&T helped create the America that we see now.
That fact right there BOILS my blood. This Handmaid’s Tale come to life, these religious freaks are forcing us to live in. And reading so many comments praising B & T is disconcerting. Just because they look good on paper doesn’t mean they ARE good.
preach
Right! They are awful humans.
She’s a freak and I worry about Carly
I understand they desperately wanted a baby for years so that must've been a really exciting moment but at the same time I just don't think I could be experiencing much joy while witnessing all the pain this was causing CnT. It's all so messy
I don’t get the point here though. These 2 Christian’s were ready for a baby. Financially sound, stable, etc. C & T were 16, emotionally unstable, with 2 drug and alcohol addicted parents in a scary, unhealthy environment with 20 dollars to their name. Are these 2 Christian’s not supposed to smile? Were C&T supposed to raise the baby, with no money or emotional stability? I don’t get everyone’s point with this shit. I understand they didn’t realize exactly what they were doing at the age of 16, but why do we blame the people trying to put Carly in a safe home? Why don’t we blame C&Ts parents who should’ve helped them, given them guidance during the process, sat down and explained exactly what they were doing. Oh yeah, they were too high and drunk. I just really don’t understand this thread. I get it’s sad to see how sad C&T were in this pic, but they made a decision, got pregnant when not even close to ready, and chose to place their daughter. Someone correct me if I’m wrong. And I am not trying to be insensitive.
Rewatch it and see if you feel the same. B&T are deeply disturbing people. Go look up where they work; they are explicitly part of why Roe v Wade was overturned..Brandon especially. They are predators in every sense of the word. But it sounds like you think they are “good Christian’s” so I doubt any of this will land.
Well said.
I don't think it's that people think they were ready and/or could have raised her. I think it's the fact that placing a child for adoption, while still being minors themselves, with no parental support or proper guidance throughout the process is even.. legal? Don't get me wrong, if a 16 year old girl gets pregnant and has a living situation like Cate's, by ALL MEANS I want this to be one of the available options to her, even without parental permission/support. But in those cases I feel like there should at least be some sort of ... advocate, or something? For the pregnant teen/teen couple... someone not affiliated with the adoption agency, someone familiar and knowledgeable about the process. Something like that. Someone knowledgeable of the process, someone of sound mind unlike Butch and April, someone who could be there to help facilitate the process on their behalf, but also to ensure that the literal minor children understand everything they're signing and agreeing to, and what things will look like realistically in the future, etc. Someone there for them to ensure everything is clear. B & T had Dawn. Cate and Ty had ...each other, basically.
They for sure should have had a guardian ad litem type person to thoroughly explain what they were doing and expectations moving forward. Someone there to answer any questions and to explain the “contract” to them. For Dawn to have the title of adoption counselor she didn’t do a whole lotta counseling.
THIS. Imagine bringing up Carly in that hell hole with Butch and April either high or drunk or coming down. Remember when Cate brought her “mother” along for prom dress shopping and verbally abused her the whole time in front of her friend? Their parents are absolute pieces of shit and having a baby around their shit would’ve set up Carly for a life of hell.
is growing up a fundamentalist any better, really? she might be fed, clothed, and have a stable roof over her head but we haven’t the slightest clue if she’s getting verbally abused under C&T’s care or damaged in other ways. they don’t even believe her body belongs to her.
RIGHT!
The phrase "adoption doesn't necessarily give you a better life, just a different life" is popular in the adoption community for a reason. No one knows if Carly would have been better off with C&T or B&T. C&T were in a bad place, but their problems were temporary. The problem with adoption is it is set up for the adoptive parents. Not the bio parents and not the children. Why wasnt there systems that could help C&T get the support they needed to get out of their living environment and keep their baby like they had wanted? Separating the maternal child bond shouldn't be the first option. Buying someone else's baby shouldn't be a common thing. More bio parents need support to keep the children they want to keep. Plug for SavingOurSisters because I know they do a lot to keep mothers and babies together.
You can point out how B&T took advantage of their situation and realize it wasn’t the best for Carly. It is a good thing Carly didn’t have to grow up in their family cuz yikes but at the same time cate was a child making adult decisions with no support from anyone but a predatory adoption agency. B&T wanted a closed adoption and C&T wanted an open adoption so they went with open because they were that eager for a baby.
It’s the juxtaposition in the photo most people find striking. I also have my major problems with adoption as an adoptee. In the wealthiest country in the world the best option we have found- even after many states have made abortion illegal - is not to support young mothers, the best option is to sell your child to the highest bidder? It sucks that some people cannot conceive but commodifying birth is wrong to me. And let’s say nothing of the trauma that being separated from your birth family brings. I hope B & T have her in therapy to help her process that but hearing how crazy religious they are, I’m thinking they probably don’t believe in therapy
Yeah it’s really gross
There’s one girl who post on tiktok says it best, adoption is trauma that preys on the young, unprivileged, uneducated for rich privileged Christian folks. Imagine if B&T really wanted a baby to have a good life and donated money to help teen parents raise and have the tools to raise a baby instead of paying $40,000 to have a pretty much baby trafficked to them? Private adoption is pretty much legal human trafficking for babies. The money that goes into it, imagine how life changing it could be to help women trying to get on their feet to succeed
This is absolutely heartbreaking. I can't watch catelynn and Tyler's 16&pregnant episode because it gets me every time. It doesn't help that I think Brandon and Theresa are terrible, hateful people. They give me big Jim Bob and Michelle vibes
Oh for sure they had a website and he basically was Josh Duggar at focus on the family
They are both shitty people who believe in and help fund hate organizations fighting against women’s rights, lgbtq+ rights, and immigration. Fuck em straight to hell.
Yes! I agree about the Jim bob and Michelle vibe!
Brandon 100% reminds me of Jim Boob . I think it’s the haircut and the general daggy vibes they both give off
The fact that Caitlyn and Tyler signed those adoption papers thinking B&T were basically babysitting their child tells me the adoption agency was predatory.
C&T absolutely should’ve had a lawyer or 3rd party (other than Dawn) to really explain to them what the papers they were signing meant. I think they were under the impression the adoption was going to be much more open than it turned out to be.
This is what I was trying to say in a previous response on this thread. Since they were minors and had basically no parental support or guidance, there should be some sort of third party "advocate" of sorts, unaffiliated with the adoption agency, to make sure they, as minors, actually understood everything they were signing and agreeing to. B&T had Dawn. They only had each other. It was such a shitty situation and it's hard to watch. Also hard to know that there are probably countless minors who even now, are still/currently going into this with Bethany Christian Services who have no parental support or guidance and are just doing what they know is best for their situations, but without actually understanding what any of it truly means for the future. Just doesn't seem right.
Would they have grounds to sue the agency? It was so predatory
Probably not at this point, but maybe shortly after the adoption
I don’t think they believed it was babysitting. I think they were lead to believe they would have more access albeit limited access. Like pictures and regular annual visits. Even someone with very limited knowledge on adoption would know that it’s more than babysitting. The pain in their faces shows that they know it is not just babysitting.
Was your last post deleted? You could barely see any of her face and she looks like every other newborn baby.
Yeah, downvote me to hell but it’s really silly to cover her newborn face… Toddler and up, I totally get.
Especially when this picture was literally broadcast on tv
It was literally on national television anyone could find it if they really wanted to
I can't understand it, most newborns look exactly the same lol. They have no distinguishing features.
Exactly not to mention they literally did an episode (or was it a social media post?) where they showed Nova's baby pics next to Carly's and they're literally identical. Like just photoshop Nova's face on there same difference
Especially because baby Carly was shown on the show anyways… It’s very unlikely Carly would be recognized based on any images the general public is privy to. Covering her newborn face seems… performative.
I can't tell babies apart, they all look the same
Yeah they all look like tiny little Benjamin Buttons
This is exactly why adoption is inherently traumatic for the child and the bio parents.
also they fact that they had to give her away on the sidewalk because of the laws in their home state so sad
Wait what? What do you mean?
IIRC only the birth parents could take the baby from the hospital so they just like met up with B&T down the block to hand Carly over.
Yep. Only ones that win are the adoptive parents
This photo makes me hate (most) adoption for life. America is supposed to be a first world country, but doesn't have the infrastructure to support and facilitate teen parents to thrive as parents. Disgusting.
or to provide comprehensive sex education and equitable access to contraception.
This! There is no benefit from Abstinence-only “education” (nothing educational about limited and biased information). This country is so bizarre when it comes to sex. Can’t talk about sex in the scientific/biological sense to students, but will gladly use sex to advertise literally anything from hamburgers to cleaning products. It’s absolutely nuts.
That too
cate and tyler are both actively crying in this pic - FUUUUCK bethany christian services and fuck brenananteresa for their stupid beaming smiles this shit is so tone deaf
I’m sorry but I could never have such a big smile on my face seeing those two looking so broken hearted. That is so fucked up.
Right? B&T couldn't care less about Cate and Ty in this moment. They got their healthy white baby and that's all that matters. This whole entire situation was so messed up.
Adoption is traumatic. I blame MTV for continuing to use this as a storyline. It's not fair to any of them. Tyler and Cate if you really care...stop using your platform to whine. All it does is cause the crazy fans to further harass B&T and Carly. Stop trying to establish a relationship between Nova and Carly. They are still so young and may not be close.
filming their tear filled goodbye/handoff was so exploitative and of course c&t had no one responsible to step in and suggest they not.
Yeah - honestly, the more I learn and the older I get, I can't believe that adoption is still so heavily suggested in some communities for situations like this.
This stems from literal propaganda from the adoption industry. How adoption works in the us is crazy, it's so unregulated and unethical. They made a multi billion dollar industry out of getting the baby's from struggling pregnant women. It's legal human trafficking.
Yeah I believe this has caused fans to reach out to their jobs if I’m not mistaken. How wicked!
Worse, Brandon has his own financial planning/management office. So these "fans" were tying up his office phone lines and sending nasty emails, thus impeding his ability to do business. Most larger companies have policies in place for things like this (example: my grandmother was harassing her son at work after he refused to take her side in grandma and grandpa's divorce after 54 years of marriage. He told his supervisor who escalated it, the company got him a new extension that was unpublished outside the internal company directory. The police also paid a visit to grandma at the request of my uncle's employer.) to keep stuff like this from disrupting things, but a small business doesn't. I don't agree with B and T's political and religious beliefs but I also don't believe anyone should be disrupted at their place of employment. I feel for C and T up to a point and I understand the anger a lot of people have about Bethany Christian Services. But I also see a lot of misplaced anger here, people crapping on B and T. Adoption is so complex and I can't fault B and T for deciding to adopt after trying to grow their family other ways and not having success.
And apparently messaged the birth mom of their other child.
I remember that. This topic always brings out the weirdos of this tv show’s viewers because they downvote anything against glorifying Cate and Tyler. I understand it was traumatic, but for them to continue to use this storyline YEARS after B&T have declined being on the show again is nuts. They can simply say Carly is continuing to do well with her parents but instead they choose to still speak on this subject and say nasty things about B&T and stay surprised they don’t hear from them anymore.
They think because they were on a few episodes...They have a film for life and allow Cate and Tyler to talk about it
It’s absolutely gut wrenching. I do not understand how people can’t wrap their heads around this. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIKE THEM TO EXTEND ANY AMOUNT OF HUMAN DECENCY TO THEM.
It's evil to recruit pregnant teenagers when they're at the lowest point of their lives, hormonal, and desperate without a support system, to trap them using legal contracts to then basically sell their fetuses to rich adults. The power imbalance makes it inherently unethical and immoral.
Just seeing that picture makes me cry, Brandon and Theresa are both literal POS. No normal person with just a little bit empathy in their mind could be smiling next to crying teens going through the hardest thing in their life. They bought a baby while keeping the biological parents under false pretences, they acted highly unethical and still got praised as good people. If there's a hell, both of them will burn in it for what they did to these poor teenagers.
Might I say fuck Cates parents for not being there for her. This poor girl had zero people supporting her.
this picture here makes me so sad.
Everyone commenting about how sad they are - I’m positive that pain has only gotten WORSE with time yet so much of this sub has zero sympathy for the things they do/say. Idc what anyone says, their entire lives have been full of the most severe trauma and they are handling it much better than I’d expect people in their shoes to.
I know, I've actually gotten complelty downvoted and argued with when I defend them. It's okay to not agree with everything someone does but but judge them by being human is crazy to me. Alot of people are just ignorant to mental health and trauma. I'm suprised how much compassion and positive comments came from these 2 posts I made. I also find alot of people follow the herd to to speak so they'll jump on the band wagon with thr nasty comments. I agree with your last sentence too. The other day someone tried to tell me cate is just like April. She's just as emotionally stunted and is the same mother that April was. Like are we watching the same show!? They've done SO much work on themselves and have compelty turned the generational tables for how their kids are raised and going to raise their kids. Most ppl don't even have that mental awareness let alone put the work in. I honestly wanna give them both a big hug.
I have a soft spot for them but they desperately need therapy and a lot of it
God that is sad, the look on Cait and Ty's face is absolutely heartbreaking.
Cate is obviously fake smiling through pain, but Tyler’s face here has always broken my heart. That boy is crushed. *Completely.*
Umm, lest you forget, Tyler is the one who didn't want a baby! He told Cate that.
OK but they were 16 and I'm betting it feels a lot different when your child is actually born and you have to hand her off to a pair of strangers after less than 24 hours of knowing her. These are traumatised children. Traumatised children don't always think rationally or make good choices.
Didn’t he threaten to leave Cate if she kept the baby too?
Imagine if cate has found an organization like saving our sisters and had been able to move into temporary housing, learn a skill and a get a job, move on from Tyler, and keep her first baby though. It would have been life changing.
He told cate if she didn't give her away he would dump her....
I'm a social worker, and one of my friends in undergrad did their senior fieldwork at a Bethany office. By the end, she cried every day before going into work because she felt like a child trafficker. Couples like B&T hand over an insane amount of money (circa 2007/2008, it was around $30,000 minimum) to Bethany and in exchange, Bethany hands them a healthy white infant. And often that entire fee isn't received until "delivery" of the baby to the adoptive parents and they would even move the expectant mothers across state lines if the states weren't "adoption friendly," aka didn't allow for private, commercialized adoptions. They also liked to have mothers deliver in states with short periods to change your mind; for example, some states give biological parents up to a year after surrender to rescind the adoption whereas other states (Utah used to be one, may still be) only have a 30-day window. People love to discuss how commercial surrogacy is exploiting poor women and buying babies, but private adoption can and is just as predatory but is oftentimes pushed as more noble.
Wow. Netflix needs to look at Bethany next.
Tyler is so disassociated in this photo 😔
He’s got that thousand yard stare
Why does everyone assume Carly is better off with B and T? They are hateful, bigoted Christians. They preyed upon C and T to get their precious white infant. With their politics they probably won’t even love Carly if she doesn’t tow the Fundie line. Money does not good parents make. I would be so sad knowing that these ideas and this backwards culture was being passed on to my biological child as the birth parents. I bet C and T have far more empathy and understanding which could be an asset to Carly had they been allowed to keep her. Adoption is trauma. There should be programs in place to keep biological families together instead of ripping them apart due to poverty and poor circumstances. I don’t see why C and T get so much hate for speaking openly about how they feel. B and T don’t need to be praised for taking on children that were not their own.. they are no better and had they not had fertility problems they would not have been on the market for adoptable infants. This whole thing makes my heart hurt and although I don’t particularly like C and T, but I understand their perspective and it’s wild to watch this sub tear them apart and imply all of these crazy things about them wanting visits with Carly. And I just know B and T are moral police who probably have a vested interest in keeping them away and are probably hiding behind the guise of Fundie Christian belief’s to do so. Just not less ye be judged.. I just get the ick from Carly‘s adoptive parents. I hope she has support from B and T if she turns out more liberal than them.. but somehow, I doubt it. ☹️
All this... 10000 percent. I honestly think she'd be better with cait and ty. But cait and ty didn't know how they're life would be. That's why I also think in the moment they made the best decision with what they knew. But I 100 percent agree. B and t are ultra conservative Christians, who are judgemental towards alot of people and live in a bubble as far as I'm concerned.
I agree with you. Despite their mental issues and boundary issues with April they are good parents especially given the circumstances they have come from. Someone doing sex work, while not a choice I would make, does not make them an unfit parent. Furthermore just because B and T show up looking white and conservative and because they could afford a baby broker doesn’t make them automatically the best choice. It makes them potential parents via their purchasing power. It is harmful to raise anti-LGBTQ children, anti-choice children, children, especially girl children who are modeled a family life as something aspirational and are therefore likely to grow up very male centered. All of that, if B and T follow the tenants of their American Christo-Fascist faith, are probably being thrust upon Carly. C and T made the best decision they could have at the time. Still, they were children and these baby vultures definitely misled them about even wanting an open adoption. C and T were never good enough in their eyes! I mean if they were they would have, in the eyes of B and T, been able to keep Carly! C and T are not indebted to them for taking their child. They are not saints. I would, if I were them, be worried about the prejudices that could be instilled in their biological daughter by her parents. T seems like a passive aggressive person anyway. I bet you they have given C and T the run around about Carly. True C and T need to chill with their expectations that she could want a relationship with them when she is an adult.. but I side eye any adoptive parents that put wedges between biological parents when it is proven that open adoption, when the adoptive parents are safe, has better outcomes for children than to be cut off from their genetic family completely. It takes a village and I truly feel Teresa probably burned a bit of that village down feeling insecure about mothering in proximity to her bio mom. They may not like how C and T are, but they could have some empathy and gratitude for them and their sacrifice and communicate OPENLY about what is going on. It would most likely give them peace of mind knowing it was Carly who doesn’t want to interact right now, which B and T should be able to say to them without sugar coating it. I am sure it would hurt, but they would respect it. I hope in the future that child welfare considers religious extremism when it comes to qualifying families to adopt. Religious adoption agencies shouldn’t exist.. it’s like they are looking for vulnerable children to indoctrinate.. and they get a pass to do so because we put these conservative families on a pedestal as a society. Just sad ☹️
This is heartbreaking. Those poor kids. As I get older I realize that adoption is more traumatic and painful than I thought before. Especially interracial adoption. Probably still better than all the kids around me living in group homes (aka orphanages) but it’s so problematic and I wish it were simpler.
Yeah, B&T’s smiles here gives the creeps, especially in comparison to how heartbroken Caitlyn’s and Tyler’s faces look. I feel sympathy for the teenagers they once were.
It’s the fundie plaster smile. If you’ve lived it you can spot it a mile away. Iykyk. I don’t LOVE C&Ts choices but it’s all unresolved trauma. I don’t place any blame on C&T for having that trauma and struggling with it. I DO blame “dawn the destroyer” and Bethany and B&T though. Fundies suck 💯
You don’t have to apologize, OP. Carly’s parents never had a problem with her baby and toddler pictures being shown on tv and the internet, just with pictures of her where she’s older.
So much trauma in one photo.
I wish those adoption agencies would be shut down and the people running them imprisoned. They are predatory baby sellers who prey on children and vulnerable people.
This picture is so icky… on the left you have two adults on one of the best days of their lives and on the right two children on the absolute worse day of their lives. I’m sure they’re glad they have this picture to commemorate that.
They were just babies themselves 😢😢
Such a sad photo. It breaks my heart. I remember crying my eyes out watching it on 16 and pregnant when it first aired.
Elle bee on YouTube just posted within the last day or so a video about cate and Ty and the whole adoption agency
Brandon and Thersea have always given me the absolute creeps. Private adoption is so predatory. The propaganda that you're giving your baby a better life is just nonsense. There's no guarantee the baby will have a better life especially with randos who have bought you.
This will always break my heart. I still remember the first time I saw her 16 & pregnant episode and how after she gave birth she didn’t want to see the baby. I’ll always have a lot of sympathy for Cait, she was just a teenager who went through so much trauma with basically no support.
B&T Look Related…
T looks like a Karen
When this aired I was pregnant with my oldest. I cried so hard watching Cait hand her over. It looked like they were tearing her heart out. They have made bad choices but she was in such pain.
I remember watching this episode when my oldest was a baby. He’s a little over a month older than Carly and I sobbed the entire episode. They really didn’t have anyone in their corner and it’s absolutely heartbreaking.
This episode could honestly go down in history as one of the most brutal reality TV occurrences of all time
As someone who has placed a child, i have my own collection of final photos with my birth baby... and me and my husband look just as depressed and defeated. No matter what the situation with the organizations... This is so hard to do. And yet, for the adoptive parents, its a new baby. So its a happy moment. I dont have photos of me and my husband and birth child WITH the adoptive family right before placement... But yes. The difference between what each couple is doing in that moment in life is so absolutely opposite emotionally. This picture makes me sad.
My heart, their faces are in so much pain it’s awful
This picture is predatory. I really hope ty and Cate get the opportunity to forge and mend their relationship with Carly when she's of age ):
If they only knew about the MTV checks coming in for the next two decades. I can't imagine they don't experience regrets. And having 3 more could be viewed as over compensation to fill a never ending void. .. Or maybe not. But it's ridiculous the adoptive parents agreed to a open relationship with them, to then put restrictions on it after the child had already been put on TV and it was clear they wanted to fulfill the open agreement.... That is not right. Why agree to just not abide. All very odd. But also MTV wanted to follow a story of adoption. So if they hadn't , they may not have gotten the checks. So messed up
B&T have always given me an uneasy feeling. Even aside from my personal feelings on the hateful conservative Christian people they are, they just always seemed to think they were above C&T and better than them. Like they were doing them a favor by taking their bio child and giving her a “proper” life instead of C&T doing THEM the favor of the biggest sacrifice you can give to your child that you love and want better for. Theresa always seemed fake with the matching bracelets and lovey dovey shit. Same with Brandon playing that kind of father role to Ty. Just playing a part for tv and to get the baby. After a few annual visits I don’t think they could keep up the facade anymore. I’d bet my life Carly has never even seen that bracelet that she acted like was so so precious and would be a perfect little gift for older Carly to wear to remember the sacrifice Cate made and would bond all 3 of them together. Bullshit. and I’d also bet my life that Theresa hasn’t looked at or worn hers in a decade atleast.
This picture sucks and I hate it. Adoption is not sunshine and rainbows. Fuck Bethany Christian services.