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I jaywalked 😭😭😭

Death penalty

https://preview.redd.it/gvpop3dglc9d1.jpeg?width=1334&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=363e40a588fcf76dd011a8246b59d541539a29b3

https://preview.redd.it/8eq44eyenc9d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b35c676edd75005a404cceb44b079c61b28df50

CRUSH

PREPARE THYSELF

You deserve DEATH! 🦇🦇🦇

I live ins such an uncivilised place that this isn’t even a crime

Haven’t we all?

Yes lol it’s a joke

What is j walking?

You'll find out.

What if they don't go to America...

How?

You'll get caught by a cop while your doing probably. (also jaywalking is the act of pedestrians walking in or crossing a roadway if that act contravenes traffic regulations. source Wikipedia)

That’s illegal? Damn

Is it an American thing? That’s the kinda dumb shit they would come up with.

Bingo

Wtf

Batman.

Umm😬 back when I was younger, I used to shoplift different things, the total money I would take worth of things would be well over 300. I used to go on top of roofs of stores and start shooting a 9 mm, set of fireworks, and a lot more😅

Was the gun licensed?

Nope, I was 7 years old🤣

Average 7-yo

American*

https://preview.redd.it/eeuxlrxziv9d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24676e56a1c5744f832d05d293a57fbecf6c16c8

Sounds like me and you are about the closest illegal things in the post right now

Is that a good thing?

Nope 🙂‍↔️

Oh wait! I forget one too🤣 I assaulted an officer and took his car😬

Yea 😂, I had a feeling. I never decided to fight the cops. They are the biggest gang in America and I’ve seen too many videos of 50 cops piling on one guy because he decided to fight. Police are a bunch of pussies, they don’t wanna shoot the ones

🤣

average florida 7 year old lol

Nice try fed

Tsk tsk tsk

When I was like eleven or some shit, me and my friends broke into an abandoned house thinking it would be scary, the only scary part was the 325€ fine.

https://preview.redd.it/xipjeu9rpg9d1.jpeg?width=298&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=088246a9fbc9e54909de35b8109855ad4a81c6a8

Broke into my friends home one time to steal his phone (it was a prank)

Relax bro it's just a prank

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A kid called me a fag (full word) so I hit him with the hall pass and at that time it was like a foot long 2 by 4 lol

Nice 👍. You have my respect :)

good job

W

🤣🤣this is funny

I murdered a family of 5

Same

I sure hope none of them were waynes. https://preview.redd.it/khepylpzpg9d1.jpeg?width=298&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24fb68a5f55e48900a85e4abeac6cd9b260df29e

Skinny dipping (once I almost got caught and the second time there was no one around but the water was freezing)

Proof or it didn’t happen

what

what

Ask the guy who almost caught me on monday

well if he didnt catch you then he never knew

We was relatively close I was only able to hide it due to tall sea grass (and I'm pretty sure he saw all my clothes on the grass)

Some real anime type shi 😭😂I ain’t never skinny dipped yall wild ☠️

Ikr

The proof is that he’s apart of r/nudism

What?

i used to steal a bunch of stuff from a bunch of places. walmart, publix, peoples houses or whatever. i made it a point not to steal from my family, friends, or independent businesses. i was an honest kleptomaniac. i even stole a monitor once and used it for years. middle school was wild.

Honestly, I would also steal from big businesses if it weren’t for my family.

I shoplifted a Lego mini figure once

I pirate Nintendo games

Fed

Guilty!

NUH UH!!

UH HUHHHH

https://preview.redd.it/dqe4wj03kc9d1.jpeg?width=160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=538d2d6daf73f901cc782efdb72effc0bebeb0af

Do you cum blood

Yep after I f*****d with a knife

I honestly feel like you listen to impending doom

Nahhh really

In my freshman and sophomore years I would steal people’s AirPods, change the name back to factory, and then sell AirPods for dirt cheap at school 💀

I went to the dollar store, unwrapped a bunch of candy, shoved it in a ziplock, and walked out.

my local dollar tree usually just has a guy sitting in the back room smoking shit and not giving a fuck, my friends would always snag a pack of gum or a lighter or sm (i never included myself i’m not that illegal)

I… didn’t look both ways when crossing the road 😖

https://preview.redd.it/y6uzim04qg9d1.jpeg?width=298&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f304a41652e31b8d534c5d932c7bd8236095052b

Well this is a fun question. Umm, I used to sell pills and weed, possession of a firearm, assault and battery multiple counts, assault with a deadly weapon, robbery, theft, grand larceny, multiple DUIs, possession of a deadly projectile (Molotov cocktail that I made), possession of an explosive device (using fireworks, mortars, as bombs), trespassing, driving without a license, driving without insurance, resisting arrest without violence. What else, I think I got everything, if I remember something I’ll edit this reply and add to it.

Dangg

Yea I’m kinda a bad person 😂

I can tell lol

that’s not a flex

Wasn’t a flex, just being honest 😂

Oh, haha😂😂

most believable story on reddit

Don’t believe it if you don’t wanna. I was told by my PO to own up to my mistakes and carry them with me as a reminder moving forward

sure bro

It’s just a prank bro The prank:

Yea but those people didn’t like the prank to much

but 163 days ago you had “no criminal record”

Because these are new charges 😂, someone doesn’t know how the legal system works. Furthemore, some of these things I didn’t get arrested for, some of them I did. I owned up to all of it. Some I got into trouble for, sent to juvie and what not, and some I didn’t.

I generally like to stick to obeying the law so no, i wouldn’t know what the criminal life is like and how that works

Well then don’t be like me. Stay a good person and don’t commit crimes. My life is fucked up now because my mistakes and people I hurt. Be better than me man. And worst of it all, people are disfigured physically and emotionally damaged because of me. And I deserve all the hate I get, but I’m a man and own up to my faults.

Became a decently well known vore and porn artist from 10 to 13. To put it simply I didn't know the ramifications with it until I was 13 or so. I also somehow got off without a hitch considering I acted very childish early on. I'm not even fucking joking.

BRO

whats your account (joke)

Good man. The account's deleted anyway.

Roof hopping races in the city and roof topping(climbing on tall shit like cranes w/o gear)

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Wha?

Ok I'll join

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I got jonkled on a bus by my then FWB

Jonkled😭

I set fire to a middle school boys' bathroom. (when I was in 6th grade)

Stole a ringpop

Drank alcohol I guess. I'm not super outgoing, but I think I've been trespassing too, with some friends.

Well, I climbed a water tower to the top. Also, was there when a friend set fire to 50 acres of forest.

Accidentally commited domestic terrorism when lighting one of [these](https://blackcatfireworks.com/what-are-missile-fireworks/) when the fins came off and flew straight at my neighbors open window.

Tried to let my neighbors cat inside their house because it was over 90° outside and it was basically screaming at me, tried the door and it was locked.  Realized later it probably looked like I was trying to break in and I’m lucky I didn’t get shot 

I accidentally stole 4 brick separators from Gamescom Köln/Cologne

You thought you could trick me. But I see right through you. You’re clearly a cop. Better luck next time.

Awh darn it! You got me. Shuckleberries in my bootsies 😔

When I was a kid I shoplifted a lot because I was scared to ask my parents for money. I still shoplift but I’m trying to get off of it

I blew up my school faculty bathroom toilet with a firecracker then i put laxatives in my least favorite teachers coffee. She shit her pants

Nice try fed

I beat the fuck out of a kid in high-school but that's about it

Nice try feds

I stole a restaurant cups 😞

Nice try fed boi! Like I am going to tell you about my illegal dealings

I used to chuck eggs at cars that were driving by

I can’t tell you that for obvious reasons

Trespassing but im not sure if its a crime where i live

Nothing, narc

I gambled when I was thirteen, they didn’t realize I was underage for about 20 minutes because I was a pretty big thirteen year old (6’3 185lbs)

I stoke my mom's credit card and bought $500 worth of cosplay stuff on Amazon

There's no way she would let that slide. Sounds exactly what a kid would do, though lol. $500 worth of cosplay stuff is ridiculous.

I was 10 and technically she's my great grandma so she wouldn't have known if the bank didn't tell her. She was in her 70's and doesn't know phone stuff so I would've gotten away with it >:[ I did get one of the cosplays tho >:3

I drank some booze without the supervision of my parents, an illegal practice that I don't regret doing

Taking 2 samples at Costco

I’m probably already on a list for doing tho so if you a fed you already know. Threatened to “America” my school. I also “broke into” a car and almost stole it (broke into in quotes because it was abandoned in a church parking lot for 3 months with the keys left in and unlocked)

damn y'all feds think I'm that stupid

Ah bro you won’t believe…I rode my bike in a SKATEpark😎

I went to a new years eve party my friends were throwing and drunk a shit ton of alcohol, but I didn’t get drunk? I also trespassed into an abandoned building and became a sugarbaby which was kept sfw, which means I just sent him selfies

started the apocalypse. oopsies 🤪

At the county fair, that famous country singer Ned Ledoux was playing. I don't even like country, but me and my friends snuck past the stage guards, hopped a couple fences and snuck into the crowd.

Fled from the police and got away because of traffic

When I was 11 I vaped the first time loved and like 5-6 months later, I got drunk w a friend took some beer to a park and slapped a misogynistic kid and they tattled and the cops came to my house and lied my ass off (I was 12). And then now it’s June so I’m 13 now and I’ve also done vandalism under a bridge a month ago and did cigs and vapes in the woods and then proceeded to do shots. Fun times and I also shoplifted a few times but that’s bc of a bad influence.

Piracy. You'll never find me buried treasure.

Nice try fed I’m still not paying taxes

When I was in kindergarten -1st grade at school we would at some point sit in the hallway for what I think was attendance? Not sure but there were a bunch of backpacks in that hallway not from our class (to this day I have no idea what class they were for because through all the grades I never had to set a bag there). I would (while no one was looking) take pins and keychains off the backpacks and steal them. When I brought any of these home I'd say that "a friend gave it to me" when my parents questioned me about it.

Last month I had 24 shots worth of vodka and chundered right outside the pub:(. Btw I am 14 There are much worse but can’t think of any now. I might edit later tho

Stole the salad tongs from a Fazoli’s

Cut down a tree on private property, urban exploration, and even more trespassing!

I didn’t do too much crazy stuff tbh. My top is prolly that I ran away from home when I was 6 with an older girl, for 2 days. Had the police search for us

Vandalism with a sharpie marker. I’m boring.

i sailed after dark without nav lights😮

When I was 5 I accidentally walked out of church with a pencil. I started crying because I thought I was going to go to jail.

I once stole shopkins when I was like 6 and my dad made me give them back. I'm still traumatized.

Stole a few rifle bullets from a cadet course I was on, realised that they were illegal and emptied the gunpowder and popped the percussion caps with a lighter making them legal to own

I almost killed somebody on ACCIDENT

I broke into a priest house 😔

My lawyer advised me not to say anything

I was in the changing room at a clothing store and I had to go to the bathroom really bad I was like 8 and I took a shit in the corner and covered it up with some clothes that were already in the room.

For context, my history teacher was rumored to have taken pictures of the girls in his class, so one day after school had already ended, me and my best friend broke into his classroom and searched through his computer (he forgot to hide his password one time) and found an entire folder just full of pictures of girls from his classes, so we printed them out and left them in front of the principal’s office and a note explaining everything, the history teacher got fired and nobody else knows about it except me, my friend and my sister tl;dr me and my friend caught our p3do history teacher

I set an old life of carpet on fire on a walk at like 4 am and it got to the point the fire department got called and they investigated for arson

got caught after stealing almost 1000 dollars worth of stuff from the mall, got banned for a year

Nude hiking. I highly recommend.

Stole a Hershey’s bar from a gas station

Trespassing, motor vehicle usage in motor vehicle prohibited areas

I broke googles eula of not knocking their wearos rom so now they are out for blood.

Dog kermit sewer slide on my bike tire one time

way too many drugs lolz

I drifted down a mountain pass

For legal reasons I cannot speak here

I stole a pen. From the Pearl Harbor gift shop.

Threesome with my bf and his friend and then a different one with my friend and his gf

geneva convention

Yesterday I ate a post it note with pencil writing on it I have also had wine, beer, and some mimosa before, and I've got to say, I don't see what's so good about beer

I beat the shit outta a gang member

Thank you for your service

We do a little trolling

I sold alch/weed, I ran from the cops at a house party bust for underage drinking, the obvious traffic violations “I was behaving myself; the speed limit was like 30, I was doin 90”, I’ve threatened people before with full intent of following through (grown man), I’ve shot out someone’s windshield (air gun ((smaller, black pellets that are hard to find on their car’s interior)), criminal trespassing, shoplifting, idk. A lot that I’ve forgotten some.

Had sex while on my honeymoon ,in a pool at like 11am at a resort in Punta Cana while people (kids adults) were swimming past me topless straddling my husband in the middle of the pool.

Ummmm, you know this is a teen subreddit right?

But better… they accepted me.

I pirate games... from indie devs.

ABSOLUTE FUCKING DISGRACE

it was a joke lmao, only from triple a companies