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RANGERSSNEWYORK

He just needs a mikes hard lemonade


Nasheuss

He needs some milk!


PhilanderingWalrus

Sumbody call the ambalams


tearfultrashpanda

Whoa! Black Betty, ambalams


DublaneCooper

Whoah! Black Betty, ambalams


PhilanderingWalrus

Damn thing gone wild, ambalams


SkummyJ

You know that's no lie, ambalams.


Clearlybeerly

She's from Birmingham, ambalams Way down in ambalams, ambalams


Few_Leave_4054

Whoa oh Black Betty .... nevermind, shit. I fucked it up... Ambalam!! There, all set


dingus55cal

Amberlamps\*


SliceIka

No we can’t take milk, Asian are mostly lactose intolerance


Forgot_Password_Dude

have you tried A2 milk?


Amazing_Connection

Dooood i just discovered A2 milk and my life has changed. Been drinking oat and nut juice for years, hating it.


downvotesloganoflair

You don't have to swallow the nut juice.


Steadygettingblown

But you’d be a lot cooler if you did


BIueGhost

We talking breast milk or calf milk?


brainsurgeon8

Isn't all Milk breast milk? Asking for a friend.


ttcmzx

not my man milk


benjunior

All Manned Milk is my favorite


SouthofthePaw

That was my utterstanding.


You_Just_Hate_Truth

Was he on that mojo?


noobletsquid

why make such a distasteful joke when someone lost there life? reddit never ceases to surprise me sometimes


Clearlybeerly

[This might help you understand.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_comedy)


engulbert

That was a good read, thank you. One of favourites was, "At his public execution, the murderer William Palmer is said to have looked at the trapdoor on the gallows and asked the hangman, "Are you sure it's safe?"


IllIIllIlIlllIIlIIl

Holy shit what a great comment to make at such a perfect timing but by such an awful person.


sandeep300045

New to Internet bro ?


SuperSmashDan1337

New to life maybe. Most people enjoy dark humour in some fashion.


IReallyLikeAvocadoes

their*


Tommy__want__wingy

Note to self: don’t drink beer while reading reddit comment It burns. Oh it burns.


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zoltan1313

Thank you very much, in shit with wife because I spat coffee on couch, well said made my day.


TitsFawson

Tell your wife’s bull I said hi


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justmikeplz

It helps to know that I won’t be going to Hell alone.


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CluelessPresident

Aren't awards turned off on all of reddit? Like, permanently?


MidnightPlatinum

Nah, they brought awards back recently in a different form. It will often only show 1 on the post/comment, but they're there. Award button will be near the Share/Reply button when available.


kgold0

It was a rough day for him. He just needs to decompress


nuanimal

And elderly couple in their 70s died :(


ThroughTheHoops

He was feeling a little flat. And tyred. 


kndoye1988

He dead my guy


HsvDE86

Yup, both old and now they be deed. Article was posted below.


Technical_Semaphore

To shreds you say?


Djbadj

How is his wife holding up?


Quadraought

To shreds you say?


Skyp_Intro

“I’m turning Flattenese, I think I’m turning Flattenese, I really think so.”


zeppdude

Ahhh you asshole. You had me singing it, then I busted out laughing


Sulettuce

"Just a flesh wound"


DarkMatterBacon

Believe it or not, he walked away


NickelbackCreed

*rolled


ScreechingPizzaCat

Yes, first they’ll put an air tube in the driver’s mouth and then use a hand pump to get them back in shape.


hellomorning1

[Youtube video source](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAetIbNVGW0) [News articles in Japanese](https://newsdig.tbs.co.jp/articles/-/950755?display=1) > On the morning of January 19, near the Fukaehama Interchange on the off-ramp of the Hanshin Expressway Wangan Route in Higashinada Ward, Kobe City, a truck plowed into a line of cars in a traffic jam, causing a pileup involving four cars. A Japanese Kei car was wrecked in the accident, and the occupants, a couple in their 70s, were confirmed dead. > > At around 11:10 a.m. on January 19, police were notified of an "accident" near the Fukaehama Interchange on the Hanshin Expressway Bayshore Route downstream in Higashinada-ku, Kobe City. > > According to the police, a large truck plowed into a convoy of trailers and minicars that were stopped in the passing lane due to traffic congestion. > > Firefighters attempted rescue operations, but two people, ~~a 76-year-old man from Izumi City, Osaka Prefecture, and a 73-year-old woman, were found in the driver's seat of the car and confirmed dead at the scene~~ a 76-year-old man, in the driver's seat and a 73-year-old woman, in the passenger's seat, from Izumi City, Osaka Prefecture, were both confirmed dead at the scene. The two were a married couple. > > The Japanese Kei car was crushed to a thickness of about 30 cm. > > Police caught the driver of the large truck red-handed in the accident on suspicion of negligent driving, but he has since been released. The driver said that some luggage fell, causing him to look away, resulting in the rear end collision. > > The police and other authorities are investigating the cause of the accident.


RegularImprovement47

Sheesh what a way to end 70 years of life


Clam_chowderdonut

Terrible to go out so young. That's barely middle-aged for Japan.


billysugger000

At least they still looked young.


tmbyfc

Well they were certainly slim


GoatCovfefe

I'd say it's not so bad, had to have been a quick death, that's all I think anyone wants.


ttaptt

I live on the Yellowstone Caldera. I'm not wishing for the death of thousands, but I'm not opposed to me going out that way.


BowenTheAussieSheep

Can somebody check on this guy to make sure he isn't cooking up some villain scheme to cause the eruption of the Yellowstone Caldera, please?


ttaptt

To be even more apocalyptic, check out what happened to Teton Pass last night. I cannot stress enough how big of a deal that is for Jackson Hole, and my community on the other side of the pass. It is a big, big deal that we have no idea how it will affect everything. Shit's getting western over here!


mr_wrestling

Whoa what the fuck, I just googled it. That's insane.


sweathead

If I could choose where I was going to die, it would be there.


Verto-San

Yea I think I would rather die this way than from heart failure or other medical conditions that are often long and painful deaths


psichodrome

I love my wife and it sucks one of us will eventually live without the other. at least they went together, and fairly painlessly. ps. giant dragons should not ride right next to little mice. the obvious is gonna happen.


Clearlybeerly

Am I the only one who thinks this might be a great way to check out?


w1987g

I only hope that they passed quickly and without much pain. That's horrible


RobbSnow64

Ya, that would have been instant for sure


Far_Out_6and_2

How long is an instant though


TemporaryPrimate

Longer than you'd like, I imagine.


trulyniceguy

Unless you are on a titan submersible


RealCommercial9788

48-71 seconds of awareness of their doom, apparently. Long enough for that poor kid to have told his dad “see! I told you I didn’t want to come on this stupid fucking trip!”, I like to imagine.


StrategicWindSock

[longer than you think, dad!](https://gist.github.com/Schemetrical/6184daf83843bcab9402)


john_jdm

I'd doubt your brain could function long enough to make sense of what had happened.


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Now_Im_Triggered

Not saying this is the same as dying like this, but I got hit with an electric fence on accident once. I had less than a second knowing something was happening to me, next thing I knew I was getting up from being knocked out for a minute. There wasn't any pain until I stood up. I had no idea what happened until someone came up to me and told me what happened. The only thing I remember in that moment when I got hit was confusion why someone was bumping into me.


Clearlybeerly

About 30 centimeters.


Uriel_dArc_Angel

Very likely, given the force required to pancake a car like that, less time than the electrical signals from.any part of the body would reach the brain to register anything... Very likely switched off like a lightswitch given that scenario...


RobbSnow64

Like they probably did not have time to acknowledge what was happening instant.


Tang_the_Undrinkable

At least they were together.


Aerodrive160

Oh, they are together!


killerzeestattoos

Did it say they found them both in the driver seat?


Vreas

Fuck man just cruising around with your partner and extinguished in the blink of an eye.. what a way to go RIP


johafor

Considering how prevalent mobile phone use while driving is in Japan, I’m not so sure about that falling luggage. Sad read either way.


sandeep300045

HE GOT RELEASED ?


Darth-Adomis

damn only consolation is it was probably quick and they went out together


xeno_dorph

And people get pissed when motorcycles filter to the front.


antoninlevin

If anyone had *filtered* here it would be fine. The issue is a distinct lack of filtering.


KierkeKRAMER

Bro can be filtered all right


jB_real

At that point you just bury the car


crispeggroll

Basically a coffin/tomb at this point.


Trowj

I remember being stuck behind a semi at the very end of a giant traffic jam and I saw in my rearview another semi coming up behind me and not slowing until I was contemplating the need to jump out of my car. He eventually looked up and slammed in the breaks but it was scary af cause I was about 10 seconds away from being the salami in an 18 wheeler Sammy


Stormagedd0nDarkLord

Dude. I hope you at least had your seatbelt off and were halfway out the door.


Trowj

It was definitely one of those situations where my brain saw the danger and was going a mile a second but my body wasn’t responding/was frozen


Stormagedd0nDarkLord

Been there. Thankfully, both of us still around to post about it.


Li_3303

This happened to my parents only the semi actually hit them. Fortunately he was braking, otherwise the impact would have probably killed them.


Training_Mix_7619

If that's 30cm I can't imagine the size of your peen when you measure it


polarbearsarereal

Yeah wtf is this bot title


Hekutoru183

Myth confirmed


Zardu-Hasselfrau

How long until we start seeing the slow-motion CGI OceanGate-type videos?


Kaizenno

You mean the 90s style 3d video render with a flashing "not actual footage" text over it?


Lil_miss_feisty

For a second there, I thought the driver would miraculously emerge like those [clips you see on the news](https://youtu.be/nVtXBL650Rk?si=rD5qDxWBTQBMUfUH). A lucky person surviving by getting forcefully placed within a tiny pocket of space.


mrsnikki88

THAT ONE WAS WILD OMFG


gin_bulag_katorse

Brutal traffic collision in Japan... that's not something you hear about everyday.


weirdstuffgetmehorny

I stayed in this area (on Rokko Island) a few weeks ago, it was actually the first stop on our trip to Japan. We almost thought we made some kind of mistake because of how incredibly industrial/commercial it was. For pretty much the entire 1.5 hour bus ride from the airport, we were completely surrounded by factories/warehouses on both sides of the expressway, so of course there's a ton of commercial traffic there mixed with busses and the tiny little kei cars that people drive there. I'd be all for smaller cars in general, but it freaks me out too much when you have to share the road with big trucks, no matter how good the drivers are. I mean, that just really sucks. One minute you're just sitting in traffic minding your own business and the next, your life is over.


Capable_Roof3214

Grim reaper is literally following all of us while swinging his sickle. Most of the time we’re able to dodge it, but at some point he has a direct hit😢 Such is life. Be happy while you’re awake🤙🏽


skilriki

Sorry to be that guy, but the reaper carries a scythe. Sickles have short handles.


solonit

Well if the reaper used sickles, he would wear red clothes instead and also carry a hammer on other hand.


_analysis230_

Our grim reaper


dayman763

Shouldn't this be tagged NSFW or NSFL or something? Am I missing something? That is crazy and unfortunate and scary.


Earlier-Today

NSFW means there's something you don't want a co-worker or your boss seeing over your shoulder. So, it's usually visual, or a ton of cursing. An article talking about a horrible accident, but with nothing graphic shown, and nothing graphic written in the article - it doesn't really qualify. NSFL means it's going to show you something that you would rather forget afterwards - usually stuff showing someone dying, often in a very graphic or horrific way. They would need to have found the couple's phone, found out that they were recording when the accident happened, and then played the recording for this to be NSFL. Text almost never gets that warning label.


Teknicsrx7

And that’s why the US is trying to stop Kei cars from being used on streets here


diegoaccord

I drove a Honda S660 and a Nissan Roox in Japan which are both Kei cars. I would take my chances with those here in the US rather than have to drive some bumbling crossover.


GrumpyOldGrower

Did they even try to recover the body?🤢


Paratwa

Bodies.


Replacement-Remote

I think I saw red liquid remains in some of the shots


Hatefiend

Could be oil


v13ragnarok7

I saw a video on why Chinese cars are not in North America. They crumble like pop cans, they don't care about safety. I mean, even am f150 would be fatal in this situation but you can tell the engineers for this vehicle were not even trying to care about collision safety.


vertical_seafoodtaco

Japan has a unique situation where they heavily incentivise extremely small cars via tax breaks, and at high speeds the crumple zones just aren't large enough to be safe. The Chinese models for export to Western countries are also much safer than you give them credit for. The new MG4 for example has [a 5-star Euro NCAP rating](https://www.euroncap.com/en/results/mg/4+electric/48646). You can look up other Chinese export brands on there as well, you'll be surprised.


arcangelxvi

> at high speeds the crumple zones just aren't large enough to be safe. To be fair this is against a semi-truck, nothing short of another semi is really going to be able to survive something like this due to the immense disparity in weight.


Uncontrollable_Farts

OP is stuck in 2004.


Hayasazi

Not anymore. China want to export cars all around the western world. Remember that this the most industrialized country which is capable to produce everything from dirt cheap garbage product to very high quality one.


IEatBabies

Nah that is jsut the excuse they use. They point to 5% of the smallest shiettiest cars and use that to justify the other 90% of them, many of which are sold across Europe no problem with quality crash test ratings


WindowIndividual4588

Wish I could send this to every driver that cuts off big rigs 😳


turndownforwoot

I am speechless, and that doesn’t happen often.


Chazbaz2

There was a mythbusters that tested this exact situation, and said it wasn't possible!


8Gh0st8

They just weren't able to accurately recreate the scenario.


Few-Life-1417

Was that car made out of cardboard??? No really cuz how does the engine block get that compressed??? Cuz generally when they flatten cars they take the engine out to get it as flat as possible and even then they’re not that flat. Obviously not the case here. That’s absolutely nucking futz!


AWL_cow

Japanese cars are much smaller than cars in the US. Probably a much weaker build and not a lot of protection against large semi trucks going at high speeds....


A-non-e-mail

The engine is probably under the bumper of the truck in front


glitch_skunkogen

It was a kai car


IWasGregInTokyo

Kei*


ShagginVagon

I think the whole car was designed to be a crumple zone...


jordyb323

Jesus it's just a puddle of blood and oil, that poor person. Poor family.....


Sad_Acanthisitta9716

Why they dressed like rebel X wing pilots?


sarcasticbaldguy

That's the first thing I saw as well.


chipsandsmokes

That looks more like 32 cm


DanTheToolMan65

Back in the 80’s my wife and I were sitting at traffic lights with our new born in the back, when I glanced in the rear vision mirror and saw a car approaching at high speed. With luck I had enough distance between me and the car in front to pull into the opposite lane alongside the driver in front of me. The driver approaching behind me suddenly realised what was about to happen and hit the anchors, his car skidded right up to and stopped where we had been sitting. He and his family were in shock and the guy that was in front looked at me and gave me a big thumbs up. From that day on I always allow enough room between me and the car in front in case I have to take evasive action. Oh and my wife was very impressed 😎


tempo1139

am curious about the make... the passenger cell didn't fare well


glitch_skunkogen

Was a kai car


grumbledonaldduck

*Kei


Clearlybeerly

[This guy's car was squished between two semis to about 3 feet wide and actually survived.](https://www.documentingreality.com/forum/attachments/f225/601556d1421740292-man-survives-being-pinned-between-two-semis-000.jpg)


FortunePaw

Well, that's wider than this 30cm pancake. Nothing could survive this.


Clearlybeerly

At least they won't have to press his suit before burying him. You gotta hand it to them, the Japanese are very efficient.


Prestigious-Log-7210

Everyone making jokes about someone’s death, if you didn’t know it you lack empathy and kind of suck.


OwOitsMochi

I feel a bit uneasy about the title about the car being flattened, ignoring the 2 elderly humans who were also flattened. I guess it is a lot easier to think "Oh wow that car really was completely crushed" without thinking about... what remains of the occupants.


Pillow_Top_Lover

That has Tragedy written all over it.


_BearsBeetsBattle_

HIS CAPA WAS DETATED FROM HIS BODY


GoodVibesOnly_FL

Japan's final destination is intense.


doobyscoo018

I seen a mythbusters episode about this. They couldn't replicate it


flyeaglesfly_4133

But did the driver survive?


Curses-blocked-again

He’s okay. Okay maybe not now.


EnglishWhites

Nasty way to go


M0D3Z

Is it dead?


ride_electric_bike

Say what you want about big vehicles but they have their advantages


theberticusmaximus

Now that’s insane.


G_Affect

I remember seeing something like this as a kid. Down a freeway where there is a left turn to go around a cliff. A simi lost its breaks and did this to the car into that cliff.


YeezyThoughtMe

Any math boys or girls here can tell us how fast you had to be going to make this happen?


Groomsi

Tgis is not one of those miracles.


Any_Effort_2234

That's a horrific way to go 😭


DragonboyZG

This is one of my frars driving a small sedan


akababy

Not related to the accident but will a roll cage equipped race car survived this?


shapeitguy

Wear your seatbelts


Otherwise-Meaning-90

Where’s the “That should buff right out” comment?


DrNinnuxx

It'll buff out.


Alaskalife18

Chiropractor visit would help


manickitty

Mythbusters?


Acceptable-Group-905

Was the car ok?


A_Triggered_Manater

Don't worry guys if you get in an accident stay in your car it's safer than behind the divider😂


jhj37341

Must have been a driverless car with no passengers: no juice on the road.


bmanley620

That looks like a hell of a lot more than 30 cm


jgenius07

Japanese cars, the ones made for Japanese markets, are insane unsafe and made of thin metal sheet. It's unlikely anywhere I've seen them...except India and some south east asian countries


Deleena24

Even the Mythbusters couldn't replicate this. This had to be million in one shot.


artieeee

Serious question here. Do they have to now take the car apart but by bit to get what is sadly left of the occupants? They must have to... Oh God... piece it together and find out who was in there right?


WhiskeyDickCheese

Tis’ but a scratch.


glib-eleven

30cm is so specific


NewSmellSameOldFart

Just a causal reminder for all of you that feel you need to get ahead and in front of a semi all the time.


dobi425

Bro got isekaied as Flat Stanley.


Bootleg-Batman

Where all just one stop away from getting our shit pushed in


WeakDiaphragm

I'm no math expert but that's thicker than 30cm


JumboFlounder

This is why we always wear are seatbelts


stumister2000

There was tiny part of me hoping to see someone climb out of the crushed car and dust themselves off


FabulousWalrus2624

Some special edition of origami?


Azzymuth

They have him a paracetamol and recovered


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MarcoElsy

New definition of crumple zone


IrrerPolterer

Yeah, never EVER get trapped between two semis! Seriously. Much saver to swerve out of the road, than to be sandwiched..


CgarciaIII

Truck-kun at it again


Capable-Ad-2172

That’s about a metre.


netr0pa

Looks like blood spill on the right lower corner in the last frame of the video.