[After seeing the porno magazine, large box of condoms, bottle of Old Harper, panty shields, illegal fireworks, and disposable enemas Homer had just bought]
Gee, I don’t know what you’ve got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out.
Not really Marge being funny, but I always found that moment very funny.
“Your Uncle Arthur had a saying, shoot ‘em all and let God decide. Unfortunately, one day he put this theory into practice. It took 75 federal marshals to bring him down. Now let’s never speak of him again.” - Marge Simpsons.
I think I never really registered how simply incredible a final count of *seventy-five federal marshals* is for just one guy and a theory he’s putting into practice
Such a 90's mother thing lol. I think they grew up during a time where that logic still worked in making kids feel better.
The amount of times I was told by adults "if they're picking on you just walk away" lol. They follow and harass you in your new location. Sometimes giving them the response they wanted was the only way to end it.
*Marge wearing a ‘Homer is a Dope’ t shirt at the alien site*
Homer: Maaarge how could you?!
Marge: These shirts are 100% cotton. And look at the fine stitching on ‘dope’.
It always amazes me that they didn’t just screen print those shirts. It must have taken a lot of work to get those stitched in time for the Friday night alien-watch.
Love the way she says that.
Also, Lisa: "I'm so angry right now!"
"You're a woman. You can hold onto it forever."
The movie had some really underrated moments sandwiched between all the pig crap ones. Most involved Marge.
After going grocery shopping when she’s in the kitchen unpacking: “Groceries are just presents you got for yourself…!” I think of this every time I unpack and it still makes me lol
The way she said, "Ah, doodlebugs," after crashing the car on the way to the hospital had me—if you'll pardon the pun—in stitches the first time I saw it.
When she turned on her heel and took the Rice Krispies and Tang back into the kitchen in "Summer of 4 ft. 2."
That episode had me in tears, especially this earlier exchange between Bart and Homer:
Bart: Mom, you won't believe this, but something you said the other day really got through to me. And now, I am going to teach some kids a lesson.
Marge: I choose to take that literally.
Bart: Death to Shelbyville!
Homer: Yes, Bart's a tutor now. Tute on, son! Tute on.
“You know Homer, when I found out about this I went through a wide range of emotions: first I was nervous, then anxious, then wary, then apprehensive, then kinda sleepy, then worried, and then concerned. But now I realize that being a spaceman is something you have to do.”
I like how obsessed with that one love song she is. I watched the movie, then only recently went through most of the episodes. I didn’t realize how many times they play that one song and every time she swoons.
Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls.
“You could have been a little _nicer_ to principal Skinner”
“Lisa! I am nice.”
If you ask me it’s those writers. They make me madder than a … yak in heat.
Any time she says something to remind Homer (and us) how stupid he is, only for him to reply with something even more idiotic.
EDIT: One example off the top of my head (don't remember which episode it was):
Marge: Homer, that's your solution to everything, to move under the sea! It's not gonna happen!
Homer: Not with *that* attitude...
Marge: “Look, a free sample of Lemon Time.”
Homer: “Ooh give it here!” (starts chugging)
Marge: “Homer, that’s dishwashing liquid!”
Homer: (still chugging) “Yeah, but what are you gonna do?”
“Listen to your mother, kids: aim low. Aim so low no one will even care if you succeed. Dinner’s in the oven. If you want some butter, it’s under my face.”
Not Marge quotes, but:
1) “you heard your mother’s ramblings. She’s fine”
2) Bart doing his impression of her with a blue towel around his head for Lisa and Homer.
Not so much great moment but more the way she makes the delivery “I'm sure he'll offer a fair reward...and then we'll make him double it! Well, why can't I be greedy once in a while?”
It’s a sight gag, in the Be Sharps episode. The family’s car gets a flat, in the middle of the desert. Homer gets on with the important business of telling the kids the band story, while Marge quietly sets off with the wheel for a 12 mile walk, and nobody mentions it.
"You can't hide from me in this house, Bart! I spend 23 hours a day here!"
I said this line verbatim to my husband in the middle of the pandemic after I started WFH.
What was his reaction?
git em, ma
You married a Bart?
*Bort
Excuse me are you speaking to me?
My son is also named Bort
I knew this would happen. So glad you didn't let me down
My husband is also called Bort
Heh-heh, get em ma
[After seeing the porno magazine, large box of condoms, bottle of Old Harper, panty shields, illegal fireworks, and disposable enemas Homer had just bought] Gee, I don’t know what you’ve got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out. Not really Marge being funny, but I always found that moment very funny.
it's a good Marge moment because it shows how weirdly tolerable she can be of everyone's hijinks, even though she's a bit of a square.
Well, if staying out of hijinks is lame, then I guess I'm just a big lame.
She was awfully happy washing the dishes the next morning.
Because we’ve just seen Homer buy all those other things to draw attention away from the fireworks, but she hasn’t. One of my favorite scenes.
I just think they're neat
God every time I get potato’s at the store this is what I think of
"I forgot to clean the lint basket in the dryer. If someone broke into the house and did laundry, it could start a fire."
Every time I empty the lint from the dryer, I hear this line.
Ha!
watch out for the shaq attack...
I told you to watch out
She’s no Harvey Globetrotter…
I’ll crump with you sweetie
[This comment thread leads me to one of my favorite images.](https://imgur.com/a/7nt3SxZ)
Lol yes I was hoping someone would post this
“Your Uncle Arthur had a saying, shoot ‘em all and let God decide. Unfortunately, one day he put this theory into practice. It took 75 federal marshals to bring him down. Now let’s never speak of him again.” - Marge Simpsons.
You should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head. Not like a certain uncle did one gray December morn.
I think I never really registered how simply incredible a final count of *seventy-five federal marshals* is for just one guy and a theory he’s putting into practice
"Hmm...maybe if I use my least nagging tone of voice. ... Homer... ...Hm. Homer! ... Homer? That's it. That's the one. Send him on in."
Anyone who beats you up for wearing a shirt isn't your friend
There’s the one I was looking for. Also, her leaving the changing room door open while Bart was in his underwear.
I legitimately laughed out loud reading this one. haha
Such a 90's mother thing lol. I think they grew up during a time where that logic still worked in making kids feel better. The amount of times I was told by adults "if they're picking on you just walk away" lol. They follow and harass you in your new location. Sometimes giving them the response they wanted was the only way to end it.
Made Lisa Homemade Pepsi for the Elementary school dance.
It's a little thick, but the price is right!
I kind of want to try it
Go ahead Ralphie; the stranger is offering you a treat!
Every Simpson dance now!
I'll go now.
*Marge wearing a ‘Homer is a Dope’ t shirt at the alien site* Homer: Maaarge how could you?! Marge: These shirts are 100% cotton. And look at the fine stitching on ‘dope’.
It always amazes me that they didn’t just screen print those shirts. It must have taken a lot of work to get those stitched in time for the Friday night alien-watch.
The only thing I'm high on is love. Love for my son and daughters. Yes, a little LSD is all I need!
She's right, you know.
About the ox?
About everything, damn it!
Homer says it's an ox before he storms out of the bomb shelter.
I'm surprised and disgusted by all of you, especially his children!
I guarantee this line resulted in the writers room high-five each other for longer than any other line in the series.
See all those wires in there, Homer? That’s why your robot never worked.
"You're not driving around in a car you built yourself"
Marge, you can sit there finding fault or you can knit me some seatbelts.
Letmeoffletmeoffletmeoffletmeoff! Gets me every time!
I never had a fear of flying until I got older. The first time I was in full panic attack mode this scene just ran through my head on a loop.
Mom? You're the head vampire? I do have a life outside this house
Yes! And I love when she’s a witch too.
I'll be a son of a witch!
This is one of those lines i use randomly out of context all the time
So underrated. I always quote “Mmm it’s true but he shouldn’t say it”
You march right back to that school, look them straight in the eye, and say “Don’t eat me!”
I can’t believe how low this one is! As someone with a mom that would never let me stay home from school, for any reason, this line was so relatable!
I absolutely adore Marge hahaha "At times like this, I guess all you can do is laugh"
I find that scene the single most relatable moment in the whole series...
"I'll crump with you, sweety."
The Chanel suit episode is just a masterpiece
Re-vulcanize my tires, POSTHASTE
Mom, just get it! You don't have to justify everything. All right, I'll do it! It'll be good for the economy!
Underappreciated line right there.
Bart \*imitating Marge\* Eat your vegetables. Take a sweater. I don't think that's a good idea. MMM." Homer: Take that Marge. Marge: MMM. 😠
It must be exciting to make a different set of beds. I know you’re joking, but it is!
“You caught me at a real bad time, Moe. I hope you understand that I’m too tense to pretend I like you.”
Hiya Midge!
A total banger
This is the one.
Simpson’s Movie: “THROW THE GOD-DAMN BOMB!!” Thru a mega horn, too!
Love the way she says that. Also, Lisa: "I'm so angry right now!" "You're a woman. You can hold onto it forever." The movie had some really underrated moments sandwiched between all the pig crap ones. Most involved Marge.
It's great because you're waiting almost the entire movie for someone to throw out a good swear and it ends up being her.
You don’t win friends with salad! I didn’t mean to take sides, I just got caught up in the rhythm
There’s something so unwholesome about flying a kite at night…
Helloo, Mother Dear.
"He doesn't have the math skills"- about Bart selling drugs
After going grocery shopping when she’s in the kitchen unpacking: “Groceries are just presents you got for yourself…!” I think of this every time I unpack and it still makes me lol
Do you have my teeth?
… no
Honestly probably my number #1. Way better than the potato one.
Stop showing us those.
This is the funniest one imo it’s just so weird
The way she said, "Ah, doodlebugs," after crashing the car on the way to the hospital had me—if you'll pardon the pun—in stitches the first time I saw it. When she turned on her heel and took the Rice Krispies and Tang back into the kitchen in "Summer of 4 ft. 2."
The absolutely precision with which she makes that 180 turn back into the kitchen is *hysterical*.
When Homer told her that he ate the soaps in the bathroom. Her reaction, "oh my god" was of genuine horror
"That doesn't explain why you didn't graduate high school. Oh wait, maybe it does"
Homer Bart quit his tutoring job and joined a hoodlums gang
That episode had me in tears, especially this earlier exchange between Bart and Homer: Bart: Mom, you won't believe this, but something you said the other day really got through to me. And now, I am going to teach some kids a lesson. Marge: I choose to take that literally. Bart: Death to Shelbyville! Homer: Yes, Bart's a tutor now. Tute on, son! Tute on.
*violence gang
🎵 Every Simpson dance now! *bomp bomp bomp bomp bomp*
You're talking about a trough. We're not going to eat from a trough.
Kids, turn off the TV. I have some bad news about Lenny.
Not Lenny!
Not Lenny!
I found myself drinking a glass of wine every day. I know doctors say you should drink a glass and a half, but I just can't drink that much.
Way too far down.
You're a pretty [girl](https://y.yarn.co/f30930b8-90b6-4ef0-8fee-2531d924188f_text.gif)
Is that another Long Island Iced Tea?
When Bart pushes Marge out of the way of a log trap he set up, and she smiles and says "Kids have been doing that one since my day!"
“Orruhhgannnoo ? What the hell?”
Some of them must be doubles
This line forever changed how I pronounce oregano.
Seven hundred dollars!
Perfect delivery.
How about… ghost… mutt?
Foilage.
Nucular
Libarry.
“What’s wrong with my sundaes?”
I love this whole joke.
Because it’s genuine confusion that we feel too. What the hell could possibly be wrong with them ?
"Can I be done??" "Two more bites!"
"This is a corn field, honey." "Mmmmmmmm."
Bart, quit pestering satan!
No not the swear jar! It’s the only thing holding back the filth!! Nutty fudgekins!!!!
You might say the extra ingredient is salt.
*Hello Marge, how was your day?* *Keep it down in there!*
I don't wanna talk about it, mind your own business!
Homer come quick, Bart’s quit his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!
These scissors? They’re to gussy up these curtains! (Snip snip snip). *Minutes later Marge is seen sewing the same curtains back together.*
Homer: _Meticulously building mashed potato clown tent sculpture_ _Awkward silence, staring_ "Mom?" "I think I'll have some wine..."
An alligator with sunglasses?
Now I have seen everything
“Food keeps my family happy. So I make a few practice dinners before showtime. 'Cause at 6:00, we go live!”
Now it’s Marge’s time to shine
I like that one episode when she said "Mmmm"
“You know Homer, when I found out about this I went through a wide range of emotions: first I was nervous, then anxious, then wary, then apprehensive, then kinda sleepy, then worried, and then concerned. But now I realize that being a spaceman is something you have to do.”
Marge: "Everyone has a fear of something." Homer: "Not everyone." Marge: "Sock puppets!" Homer: "Ah! Where!?"
“They shoulda called ‘em *Large* Island Iced Tea!”
"I'll do it! I aaalways end up doing it." Buzzed Marge has a freaky side
I took this as “overworked mom” but I think you’re right, there’s a freaky angle to this too
You have to accept it. Your game boy is gone. It's at the bottom of the ocean.
I like how obsessed with that one love song she is. I watched the movie, then only recently went through most of the episodes. I didn’t realize how many times they play that one song and every time she swoons.
Are you talking about Close to You by the Carpenters?
"Over there....over here..."
Definitely her concern at Homer's sandwich.
Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls. “You could have been a little _nicer_ to principal Skinner” “Lisa! I am nice.” If you ask me it’s those writers. They make me madder than a … yak in heat.
Any time she says something to remind Homer (and us) how stupid he is, only for him to reply with something even more idiotic. EDIT: One example off the top of my head (don't remember which episode it was): Marge: Homer, that's your solution to everything, to move under the sea! It's not gonna happen! Homer: Not with *that* attitude...
Marge: “Look, a free sample of Lemon Time.” Homer: “Ooh give it here!” (starts chugging) Marge: “Homer, that’s dishwashing liquid!” Homer: (still chugging) “Yeah, but what are you gonna do?”
"Oh, I just swept the Circle of Death!"
You two march straight to that school, look them dead in the eye and say, 'don't eat me!'
“Mom! dads on PBS” “Mmm they don’t show police chases, do they?”
"Bad dog! Bad cat! Bad Fawn!"
Homer: Marge put on a pot of coffee. Drink it, then start making burgers Marge: Some anniversary this turned out to be
I don’t want you to be playing with something that has such bizarre hair.
Awful, awful hair.
I’m a Star Wars
Oh for Pete's sake Bart, use the plunger.
Don't mess with me I got jimmies!
OR DOUBLE-PLY WINDOWS. THEY LOOK JUST LIKE REGULAR WINDOWS, BUT THEY'LL SAVE US FOUR PERCENT ON OUR HEATING BILL.
Well they will.
"I guess I'm just a big lame!" has become one of my most used Simpsons quotes
Sideshow Bob: Wait, I’ve got a good one now! Marge, you say “Stay away from my son!”. Marge: NO!
“Listen to your mother, kids: aim low. Aim so low no one will even care if you succeed. Dinner’s in the oven. If you want some butter, it’s under my face.”
Her love of the neatness of potatoes.
These monsters are destroying everything we hold dear...and you kids should have jackets on
That poke always made me lol
Watch out for the Shaq attack!
"Or a gon o........what the heck is that???"
I'd like to visit that Long Island place, if only it were real
Music is none of my business
Not Marge quotes, but: 1) “you heard your mother’s ramblings. She’s fine” 2) Bart doing his impression of her with a blue towel around his head for Lisa and Homer.
"Homer! I think you set the makeup gun to whore!" Also, "When we got married, you promised me my harvesting days were over."
“Stop signs? Indoors? *shrugs* whatever!”
Bart: \*burps\* Marge: Bart, don't burp; that's disgusting Marge: \*farts\* Marge: Well that shut \*me\* up.
"Lisa, nobody likes a gloater. Right Homie?" "Uh huh" "Seeeee?"
8 spices …there must be doubles
STOP THIS MADNESS its just a washcloth! besides it's my'n YOINK !
Her talking about her uncle on that gray, December morn.
The only drug I’m “high” on is love. Love for my son and daughters. Yes a little L.S.D. is all I need.
Ooh... The walls are melting again...
Park your keister meister. Also LOWENSTEIN
“Is this about the pen that I took from the post office?”
“Morals and ethics and carnal forbearance...” Also “Bart, no!” “What?” “Sorry, force of habit. Lisa, no!”
Be nice to Nelson and I'll give you a Tootsie Pop.
What the dilly-o?
serving blinky
My fave is where she pulls the gun out of the trash and then makes a noise of approval when she sees her reflection. Love it!
"C-U-P! I wanna C-U- oh my lord!"
Shut up, Becky!
Not so much great moment but more the way she makes the delivery “I'm sure he'll offer a fair reward...and then we'll make him double it! Well, why can't I be greedy once in a while?”
It’s a sight gag, in the Be Sharps episode. The family’s car gets a flat, in the middle of the desert. Homer gets on with the important business of telling the kids the band story, while Marge quietly sets off with the wheel for a 12 mile walk, and nobody mentions it.
In a tre house of horror when a possessed Maggie kills Lovegoods B if a wife and she goes "Thank you"
The line that gets me is when she tells a disappointed Homer “you’re so cute when you’re begging for sex”.
“Hey Marge, what were your gambling losses last year?” “Seven-hundred dollars!”
Honey, you should listen to your heart and not the voices in your head like a certain uncle did, one grave December morn…
Take a sweater
I just mentioned this Marge moment in another post fairly recently, but *holds up potato* “I just think they’re neat!”
You might say the extra ingredient is salt.
Not really a quote of her but the music gag on "You Only Move Twice" it's just funny
The scene of her so bored in the house she starts drinking is classic.
“SHUT UP, BECKY!!“ … why do I always think of the best things to say too late And “I don’t want that judgemental bitch in my house!!”
Homer, you've got it set on whore!