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MashedPotatoesDick

Make sure to rough him up when putting him in the wagon.


Skinnybet

Don’t worry about being gentle.


MisterStorage

Make him share a bedroom with his wife. That’s harsh punishment for both of them.


Thunder-cleese

“Watch your head….ah jeez ya bumped yerself…”


crowislanddive

A+ comment!


BearManUnicorn

Grab him by the pussy


gingerfawx

In his case it's more of a neck-vag. Or is it neck-gina?


PutridPiglet

I think it’s the orangina 🤔


nicholasgnames

If they grab him by the pussy they can just grab him anywhere lol


aifuego

He won't see the inside of a jail cell. If anything, he will get house arrest at MariLago.


talondigital

I saw something earlier this week that said thar by NY law he can't serve house arrest in property located outside the state, so, assuming that source was correct, Marilago is not an option if they sentence him to house arrest.


matjam

Presumably the house arrest would contain restrictions like no public posting on twitter etc, which he'll immediately violate, and land him in Rikers? Can a man dream?


BadWolfIdris

The amount of people convinced he'll win an appeal is mind boggling.


matjam

whats the saying, take a shot at the king you better not miss? Pretty sure the case they brought was solid, which is why he was found guilty on all counts. There wasn't any room for doubt. So yeah, I think you're right, winning on appeal is unlikely; he might get on appeal a hung jury at best - but that won't stop his sentence from being carried out.


thatsMyKinkyThing

There's no jury or witnesses in an appeal. The appeal process sorta "reviews the conduct" of the lower court.


matjam

Got ya. By all accounts the judge ran a very very tight court.


HigherFunctioning

If he even saw ANY of that type of punishment - they wouldn't make the mistake of putting im on house arrest there.


DensHag

Put him in a trailer in the middle of a remote military base with no WIFI available.


madhaus

Put him in a trailer is already a huge punishment for him


DensHag

Exactly. But we don't need to hear about it. That's why he doesn't get WIFI!!


madhaus

No WiFi. No phone. No microphone. No reporters.


thereddituser2

LOCK HIM UP!


sdlover420

No bail but sentencing July 11th. 😮‍💨


unknownpoltroon

No bail means something entirely different when you are poor


sdlover420

My thoughts exactly.


JackTheKing

7-11 should get in on this. Trump Slurpees, maybe


inot72

They'd have to be orange slurpees.


madhaus

They’re advertised as Yuge size but they’re only 8 oz


stevegoodsex

$49.95.


madhaus

$47.45


sdlover420

Damn, good job on that number but, I'll off ya tree fitty.


enfanta

Ew. They'd taste like self tanner and Big Mac sweat. Ugh!


9ninjas

Does that mean he doesn’t have to post bail, like he’s free to go for now? Or like they’re holding him because he’s a flight risk or something?


buthomeisnowhere

He's free until sentencing.


strangemanornot

It would be impossible for him to flee. Imagine an orange size man going through the airport. Impossible to miss


mhyquel

What size is an orange?


Brad_theImpaler

BIG


solidwhetstone

Yuge


sdlover420

He already sold his plane, but he should be locked up like normal citizens. With the way things have been going I feel like Trump sold his plane knowing that he's not actually going to have to face any real conferences 😮‍💨


zeno0771

He doesn't think that far into the future. The only thing that matters to him is whatever he's doing at that particular moment. It's why he blows off any contradictions in the things he says. If he was capable of strategizing for the future he would have gotten out of the money-laundering racket decades ago and just put all his inheritance in the S&P 500.


HikeTheSky

So he is staying at some location with bars?


[deleted]

LOCK HIM UP!


xredbaron62x

GEN POP!!!


USMCLee

Weird...pronouns matter


RansomStark78

Waiting for Hilary


othybear

Just as a side note, this case was spun off from the Mueller investigation and handed off to state prosecutors.


Mysticalmayo

Reluctantly* handed off …. Before Cohen went to prison for this exact event, Barr had Trumps name changed to “Individual One” in Cohens charging documents and minimized Trumps involvement in the case as much as possible. Then Barr told the state not to investigate it because the Feds were (but that was a lie). Statutes of limitations would’ve expired, if not for trumps complete failure at handling Covid, causing Cuomo to extend statutes of limitations due to court backlog caused by Covid…


solidwhetstone

Holy shit-covid pulling its weight for once. One disease taking out another.


Brad_theImpaler

It nearly did back in 2020 as well.


funknut

Maybe they should have also raised the statue for notorious figures whose investigations and discovery will never reach the statue.


1knightstands

I’m starting to think this Donald guy is really bad at running a business, running campaigns, and really really bad at anything involving the judicial system.. I sure hope nobody trusts him running anything important in the world related to those things!


9ninjas

You would hope, but then there’s the cult


_000001_

He's very g(r)ifted at grifting though!


kimplovely

Yes! On all 34 count!


BobbySweets

60 more to go.


solidwhetstone

🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿


Nutro_Squags_4_Prez

Counts 1-34 at the very least.


Johnisfaster

Sooooooo jail? (Yeah right)


09Trollhunter09

Home arrest most likely because he was president blah blah general population blah blah… but appeals first, ugh


kimplovely

Lock him up


matjam

The copium is hilariously predictable. "He'll never beat hillary" ... beats Hillary. Everyone flips their shit, and to cope; “He’ll get elected again” … loses election “He’ll never be indicted on anything” … gets indicted on 93 criminal felony counts “He’ll never be convicted of anything” … gets convicted of 34 criminal counts “He’ll never go to jail” … I'm gonna allow myself a little hope here that they lock him up for 4 years. I'll settle for 6 months or so, though. None of this house arrest bullshit.


TastyLaksa

They really should sentence him to jail and let the secret service figure it out


RiverboatTurner

Sentencing is a few days before the Republican National Convention. I would so love to see him give his acceptance speech via his 3 minute allotment on the prison pay phone.


TastyLaksa

Never say never


AnaiekOne

I already hear the news trying to spin this as "non-violent, first-time offender"


dragonb2992

I think they're trying to predict what sentence he will get.


mhyquel

Isn't he guilty of rape and sexual assault in the same state.


SprungMS

And so what if he committed a little *light treason*? I mean who wouldn’t have taken billions from the saudis for nuclear secrets? Hope they go easy on him, he’s just a boy for Christ’s sake


Elbobosan

In the eyes of the law that’s true so federal sentencing guidelines all but mandate a minimal sentence. That said, it’s willful, egregious, and he’s unrepentant all of which are common reasons for escalating punishment. I am hopeful that this continues to whittle away at his support, not changing minds but just making it harder for the millions who don’t like him but still consider voting for him. All they need to do is stay home. I’m also hopeful that this is the first domino to fall and the other cases put him in prison. This was generally considered to be the weakest case against him and he was utterly crushed. Now he’s a convicted felon and the odds of him getting a slap on the wrist for the remaining cases is pretty small. They just need to go to trial. It is a great tragedy that the documents case went to Cannon.


AnaiekOne

I'm with you 100% it was just one of those "really?!" Moments when I heard an anchor softballing this in thwt manner. We all watched this shitshow live for 4+ years. Fuck trump we all know hes guilty af of more and more. It should not be that hard to prove he did half of it out in the open. I was shocked when I walked into my greenroom and saw the headline "GUILTY OF ALL COUNTS" mid day. Was a good day :)


09Trollhunter09

Most likely it’s going to be home confinement


YawnSpawner

I get disappointed everytime I read that, but it just dawned on me that he's in the middle of campaigning. He effectively wouldn't be allowed to campaign at all. That's a win in my book.


09Trollhunter09

He’ll have other Republicans cosplay him, like the teaser we say few weeks ago at the courthouse


karlhungusx

Yeah I’m not sure who’s actually excited about this. We know he’s not going to step foot in prison. We know he’s not gonna pay a cent of the hundreds of millions of dollars he owes. What actual punishment is he gonna face? Is this just another footnote in the ceaseless amount of felonies he’s gonna appeal until he’s dead? Not that his constituents were ever gonna change their mind off of this conviction but won’t this just strengthen their victim complex?


sage4wt

My faith in my fellow Americans has been restored!!!


USMCLee

Apparently there was even one Magat on the jury.


YawnSpawner

I refuse to believe that, the prosecution would have never allowed it and there's no way they would have convicted.


crowislanddive

Did anyone else cry out of all of it? So cathartic!!!


upto_lateagain

Lock him up!


Purgii

1st of 4, if not more.


Hi_Im_Ken_Adams

Unfortunately, this will further radicalize his base. The MAGA assholes will view this as further confirmation of "The Deep State".


unicornlocostacos

Probably, but it needs to happen. Americans don’t negotiate with terrorists.


afearisthis

I don’t think they can be any more radicalized. They wear freaking diapers in solidarity.


mhyquel

There's always the flavor-aide.


_000001_

I've just seen a load of them professing their $1000+ donations to him/his campaign on twitter because they're that mad. And yes, when I say "mad", I don't mean angry, although they are that too. Imagine being poor and donating to a billionaire who's such a c\*\*\*/fraudster/grifter... I. just. do . not. get. it.


mlebrooks

Brain rot is a hell of a drug.


Foxyfox-

They were going to be galvanized no matter the outcome.


StNowhere

Fuck his base.


aifuego

Yes. Soooo guilty.


MrTretorn

Justice just grabbed him by the pussy.


BadWolfIdris

I need a visual of this so I can look at it and cherish it.


rack88

I need to mount it on the wall.


SpatialJoinz

Is this the winning bigly we hear about so much? Lol the greatest grifter in American history


thewanderingent

Oh no, the consequences of his actions!


mhyquel

The stress of this conviction might just give him a heart attack


LuckilyHeDied

And nothing will change and he still might become president. This country is dumb.


TastyLaksa

He’s a felon. That’s changed


dragonb2992

Yep, and as a felon that means he can only get a limited amount of jobs such as factory work, truck driver, president of the United States, cleaner, etc.


GwenIsNow

So lame the "NOTHING CHANGES GUYZ" drumbeat is chanted over and over even after a guilty verdict.


TastyLaksa

I can’t wait to he’s sentenced to 4 years out of the potential 136 and people say yeah but it’s only 4 years he should be executed nothing changed


[deleted]

hey lets see if we can get this to number 1 in the charts, mr trump this ones for you! :D [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Q3dGZPguSM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Q3dGZPguSM)


elderrage

The chicks are just gonna dig him more and dudes will fly their flags even more proudly. My local militia goons all see him as a champion of freedom.


BadWolfIdris

I don't understand how they feel this way and ignore the fact he called actual service members losers. Make it make sense.


zeno0771

You're asking for a logical explanation for illogical behavior. The fact is they will ignore any & all evidence that may even slightly hint that they could possibly be wrong. Trump has normalized ignoring reality for his base. It allows them to blame everyone else for their own screwups. This of course assumes that they're even aware he says half the shit he does; Fox won't tell them, that's for sure.


BadWolfIdris

I had someone call General John F. Kelly a disgruntled ex employed when I pointed out what Trump said and where the information from. Like they love the military until their leader gets called out...


elderrage

I recommend watching Johnathan Haidts Ted Talk on Liberal and Conservative morals. In his view we all share the same 5 but value them differently. This is pre Trump but the underpinnings of the divergent conclusions that lead to a wholesale denial seem to at least be hinted at. There are harder scientific explanations out there that actually show significant divergence in brain physiology. Haidt, to his credit, steps outside us/them thinking with an apt popular cultural reference as well as Buddhist text that helps me stay in a stable head space when it is so easy to be yanked this way and that.


BadWolfIdris

Hey thanks for the rec. I'll check it out!


Pliersaretweezers

What the Russian bots down vote this to oblivion


flojo2012

I’m finding it hard to celebrate. I’m glad he’s been convicted, but I think it will have no effect on the election. I’m afraid of what happens if he wins and I’m afraid of what happens if he loses. They’ve made sure that there is no victory unless it’s their victory and this conviction plays into that. And he won’t get jail time most likely. And even if he did, what then? Supreme Court will never disallow him from running. It’s gross. Just a disgusting moment to be an American. Best we can hope for is a Biden win with little political backlash.


sycamorevalley

central park five .Penny for your thoughts


JesustheSpaceCowboy

Say, can you see By the dawn's early light What so proudly we hailed At the twilight's last gleaming? Whose broad stripes and bright stars Through the perilous fight O'er the ramparts we watched Were so gallantly, yeah, streaming? And the rockets' red glare The bombs bursting in air Gave proof through the night That our flag was still there O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave


laffnlemming

WE ALL NEW IT.


engineeringsquirrel

Awww yeah.


TastyLaksa

And you guys said it won’t happen


dragonb2992

I never thought it would, given that other presidents have done worse and are seemingly immune from prosecution.


1CaliCALI

## usa


beccadot

LOSER!!!!


HamlessAmerica

Eat shit wrinkly fuck.


Boxcars4Peace

Lock him up. And keep going after all his bootlickers…[https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7fKVODAfOx/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7fKVODAfOx/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==)


Glittering_Turn_16

YAY! Hope he goes to Jail!


indywest2

I bet he just gets probation with the option to go to jail if commits more crimes. 😩


weirdmountain

Strange coincidence? 106 times 5 is 530. 1/06 5/30


tucker_frump

***Felonious Trump~***


dragonb2992

Sounds like he finally made America great.


Seargeoh

And nothing is going to happen. That’s just how it is.


matjam

nice copium.


Seargeoh

I want him to be accountable, I just had lost hope


TrevorEnterprises

I want him to be fucked up so bad. Some call what you said copium, but i believe those people have not seen how he’s been treated till now.


matjam

look, I understand its your coping mechanism and you are almost dead inside from the trauma he's inflicted on all of us, but holy shit, its not nothing. The man just got convicted by a Jury of his peers and is now a CONVICTED CRIMINAL. Thats NOT nothing. Even if he spends 0 days in jail, he's a criminal, as determined by a Jury.


Seargeoh

That is indeed NOTHING, if he’s actually not held accountable after found guilty. You’re missing the point.


TrevorEnterprises

To be honest, this looks more like coping to me. Including the hostile way you say it. Grasping at anything to be able to say ‘we did it’. ‘Even if he spends 0 days in jail.’ Ah yes, without consequences, again.


jackBattlin

I heard it’s probably just going to be overturned on appeal. EDIT: JesUS everyone. It’s not like I’m voting for that asshole. Here. It’s not that big of a deal. Just something I heard that I wanted to civilly add to the conversation. I was actually *hoping* some of you might have further insight. Past tense. https://youtube.com/watch?v=qxKEJ008cfo&si=8TJG5qb4JkKEuE8N


matjam

do us all a favor and give us next weeks lotto ticket since you can predict the fucking future. jesus christ, allow people a tiny bit of hope before you crush the dying shreds of it clinging to their souls. killjoy.


buthomeisnowhere

Not even a killjoy. Just a random making things up. Imagine being such a sad sack that you have to pull something like that out of thin air.


buthomeisnowhere

Show your work.


BigCballer

It wont, but it’s possible he may be forced to be on house arrest upon appeal


mhyquel

It's not wise to listen crack whore's speculation, but I guess you can make an exception when it's your mom.