Obviously he was just being cringe and trying to hurt her on his way out because his ego was bruised.
But there are tons of guys that go out with girls they don’t think are very hot, because they’re less nervous or think it will be easier to score or something. And some just don’t care that much and just want to get laid at all. It’s like that line in the office where Clark says “let’s go out and find score some 4s, there are no games with 4s.”
And 5/10 would be average looks so it’s not like that means you think they’re ugly. Not that I assign numbers to people. I think everything about the thought process I mentioned above is pretty gross. I just go out with people I like.
I think 6 is the average tho. Its not numerically accurate but.. you at least +1 on to everybody if they ask (nobody wants the full truth). And even reviewing with other people, I dont think I have ever put anyone sub 5 hahaha just too mean. 5 means not hot. We get it!
Oh clearly. it really makes the case for blocking somebody after you send the rejection text if you are really sure you don’t want more with them, which is kind of sad tbh.
I'm not a blocker but I legit had to do this yesterday. Guy got some jabs on the way out and was typing more when I blocked him. I'm sure he was livid, but he was being a complete d*ckhead
I'm an average looking person. Most of the women that swipe right on me are hot (imo). Looks aren't everything when you're talking about a best friend/partner.
Probs has a nice watch or caight a lambo in the background. For real, i see watches as pointless items, but average Joes with shiny watches punch well above there weight
In my scale, 99% of everyday people are between 3 and 7. That is how a bell curve works anyway. A 5 is not "barely passable" but "perfectly average". I never had a problem long-term dating a 4.
Sadly, this more statistically-realist worldview makes a lot of people insecure or sad, but to some, looks REALLY aren't everything.
And looks may not last. A lot of the people I knew who were pretty good looking when they were young, damaged their appearance with too much sun without protection, smoking and booze. As we get older, some of the more average looking people age better it seems.
Well the logic is that he's pretending that he thought she wasn't that hot but was just good enough for a quick fuck or whatever. It's almost certainly bullshit, in reality he probably thought she was a babe, that's why he matched with her to begin with. It's just a way to lash out and make her feel bad because she rejected him
He didn’t want to go out? Did you miss that part? He wanted her to come over. Most likely was going to see if he could get her in his bed . Some guys will bed down anyone that’s willing. Even 1’s.
Telling a woman that she’s a 6 after rejection means he’s probably only working with a 4,maybe 5, and most likely a premie. Confident men don’t talk to women like that.
I'm Not defending him, Just saying that Most dudes consider a 5/6 average and Not directly ugly.
Its Kind of weird, but i noticed Most Woman (Girls, to be fair) consider anything below an "8" as ugly. While man (Boys) consider 5/6 average and only below that actually ugly
He didn't want to go out with her. He wanted to Netflix and chill because he didn't want to be seen in public with her. How come women can have crazy high standards, but all women are natural 10s? It's like watching women's minds break when they claim Lizzo is beautiful then get mad if you say they look like Lizzo
He invited her to drink boba (public), she said no. He then invited her to go to his house, she again said no thanks, then called her a 6.
As a woman, I don’t think my standards are high but some men can’t even reach my basic ones 🤷♀️
Off topic I think it’s crazy that some ppl expect to “click” with someone off of one phone call and if they don’t then they don’t see a reason to go further. I’ve had a decent amount of good relationships with ppl that I initially didn’t click with or thought they came off awkward. A lot of ppl are nervous meeting new ppl sometimes gotta give them time to warm up.
She may have been trying to be nice I called off things after 1 in game party chat not because he was a jerk or anything but because his voice and way of speaking was super annoying to me. I didn't want to make him feel bad and say that I didn't like something about himself he couldn't change that could hurt his self view. So I said I didn't think we would click. Usually though anytime I reject a guy after any amount of time how they react after often proves me right in my decision to end it.
I think you get a lot more out of even a phone call then these texts or emails will ever give. Do any of these dating apps. have video chat? To me it seems like that would be a pretty good way of getting an early impression before actually meeting. Of course, some people will come off better than the really are if they are good actors and some might appear worse if they are nervous about it.
Women have so many dudes reaching out to them on dating apps that they feel like they gotta wait for a dude where every second of every interaction is textbook perfect in their mind
Exactly
"Good morning! I enjoyed our chat yesterday but I didn't hink we clicked very well. I wish you the best" or something
Don't be all good morning open ended
It starts it off positive before letting him down easy? Its so much less combative than initially saying that they arent interested....pretty rough if its the first text first thing in the morning
Bruh 💀 fr?
This is exactly what women are talking about when they complain about guys feeling like they’re owed something
“Hey :) morning” isn’t a flirty response to “Hey” it’s the kind of thing you might text your friends, it definitely doesn’t mean I’m interested in seeing you and coming over to your house.
Yeah, you would text it to your friends, but would you send it to someone you met on tinder and already decided you didn't want to meet?
Sure, it's not inherently flirty. But there are miles and miles of middle ground between "flirty" and "I never want to meet you"
You can be nice while rejecting someone but if a lady sent that initial message to me I’d think she’s interested or at bare minimum she’s not about to reject me in the next text. So it’s a bit of whiplash.
I'm definitely interpreting it as "not about to be rejected in the very next text."
Do you seriously not see how it a normal person would interpret a smiley face as a positive sign?
A smiley face is positive that’s true. But doesn’t mean someone wants to be/start a romantic relationship ffs. And who knows if he had handled the rejection with some dignity and grace they might have become friends. I’m friends with several people whom I met via an online dating app but never got romantically involved
Context matters.
A smiley by itself, from a random friend or acquaintance, doesn't imply romantic intentions.
But a smiley included in a message from someone I've met on an app specifically meant for finding romantic partners, and who hasn't yet rejected the possibility? At the very least, that implies that the next text won't be a direct rejection. It doesn't take a master communicator to understand how in the context of possibly dating, including unnecessary smileys sends a very different message than "I don't want to take this any further."
I don't condone any of the dudes behavior. But just because his response was abhorrent doesn't mean that her introduction should be immune from critique.
She was just being polite. It’s a greeting and a smiley face, I think it’s bizarre to read that as an expression of interest and I feel like being dry because you’re not interested is crueler
I get it. But also another perspective—women are worried about rejecting people (I’m married and even when I’m catcalled, I still get nervous) so they may have just been trying to be nice to diffuse things, especially when it seems like she’s texting from her own phone number.
But I definitely understand how that would make you excited and then boom.
The guy OP was texting should have handled the rejection better and some more dignity, and performed far worse than OP… and that kind of pushy behavior is why women feel like they need to dance around rejecting people.
However I still don’t see how sending ‘hey :)’ was a good idea… it’s sending a signal of interest to a guy you’re not interested him. Opening with either a rejection would have been better or a less flirty “‘mornin”
Even weirder is that she led with a smiley face and initiated the texting from the looks of it. If that person did both, no one in this thread is thinking the following text is going to be a let down.
thats totally valid, and its nice that you at least send them a rejection. I wish this was actually more common, tell them you’re done and make sure you don’t have to receive a potentially abusive message
i think unmatching is acceptable because it tells you that they don’t want to talk to them, thats all i care about. Its so annoying when you have a date scheduled with someone, lets say you been texting and they ghost you so you sit there for 24 hrs thinking hmm thats weird they didn’t say anything, maybe they are busy then day of the date you are wondering if you are going to hear something. Whereas if we are talking on the app they unmatch, i get an answer. The original comment was specifically for texting
oh yeah 100%! People in general could reject people better and handle rejection better, but I think this person is taking a very considerate form of protection.
Pardon my French but is this guy fucking stupid?
He asked if you were up for tea, you said shit was done and he doubles down with "come over"?
It's not stupidity because it's obvious, so it has to be malicious but it is so stupid that it has to be stupidity. He tried the digital version of "la la la la".
It's called a Hail Mary. Dude got rejected, so he made a pass at a quick hookup, as he had nothing left to lose. Not defending him on it, but it's not the malicious part.
I don't know. It seems to me that he could have countered with something like he was a bit nervous, had a stressful day, whatever, and let's meet somewhere neutral. A second try.
Yeah, that's not going to work either, if she thought he was worth giving a 2nd chance, she wouldn't have rejected him based on a phone call. Which is fully her right to do before anybody says anything about that
You are probably right that he was already out, and it is fully legit for her to reject him just because. But I think the point of this post was that he went the low route almost immediately.
I just hope once my divorce gets done and over with I don’t have to deal with the female version of this. As a 36M I hope to God women in my age range are emotionally mature and grown by now. I tell my kids “don’t put negative energy/karma/evil into the world, there’s enough without you adding some.” Which corresponds with the golden rule. I’d take an emotionally stable confident 4 over a bat shit crazy 10 every day. If it doesn’t work out in the end rather have a real friend than a liability. We’re all old and raisiny in the end, looks don’t matter that much.
Maybe because I’m pretty quiet and don’t always have a lot to say, there’d be lots of empty space in the conversation. I think most would find that to be a negative, but it’s a lot easier to make conversation in person when you can read physical queues, etc.
could do a video chat maybe? IDK, I’m not the best on the phone either, but I think I could make a judgement as to whether I wanted to get together after like 5-10 min of conversation. Any common interests, values, etc. Like text, just, y’know, faster.
idk it shouldnt be that hard to think of things to talk about with a complete stranger that youre intersted in. ask them questions. a lot of men struggle with that. put in your notes if you find it hard to think on the spot but a phone call is not that difficult for the avg person
It's o.k.. We can blame electronics and electronic media. Early electronic media made extreme conservation of characters/keystrokes a necessity and early phones were very difficult to text with. The rise of email and social media made it habit. We no longer need to conserve it so much and it is much easier to text now, but the habits have become ingrained. I actually like that many formerly clunky phrases have been modified or shortened, e.g. LOL, WTF. But I still want what I read to sound correct and have a hard time resisting. I do this to my manager all the time. Fortunately, she has a good sense of humor. You too.
I am not, and I did not major in English in college. I majored in Business Administration, but I did have a number of English Composition and Business Writing classes with profs that were pretty strict. So, I understand what the reaction of your parents might be. I often see things that are wrong and just can't unsee it and let it go.
As a young person I was a pretty good writer because I read a lot. After many years, I am trying to write again and am finding how much I have lost. I am working on getting it back.
FWIW, because I see many people thinking you might’ve led him on just because you greeted him with a smiley, I just wanna say big disagree - a smiley does not connote that you like the recipient of a smiley
I mean, it's definitely not set in stone or anything, but if I matched with a girl on tinder, we chatted for a bit, had a phone call, and the next day she texted me "Hey :) morning", I would kinda take that as a good sign.
I'm not siding with this douche, but yeah, a smiley does kind of have that connotation.
She was replying to his text from the night before the next morning, about 12 hours later tho
It wasn’t exactly out of nowhere
Everyone interprets things definitely
But it’s kind of a stretch to place all bets on a smiley
Plus maybe she’s not the kinda person who grows cold and discourteous just because she’s not interested… which is more than I can say about myself and a lotta other people
The "hey" and the "morning" aren't outta nowhere, sure. "Hey, morning" wouldn't have been cold or discourteous at all. No one is saying place all your bets on an early 00s emoji, but I would have shot the same shot, and also been caught off guard by the rejection. I wouldn't have handled it like him obviously, but it definitely gives off "I'm not about to get rejected"
Kind of a stretch...?
Well, you're wrong. You've conveniently excluded the the context of them meeting on Tinder and swapping numbers.
Sure, *"Hey :) morning"* from a female co-worker is a stretch. But a *"Hey :) morning"* from a girl you matched with on a dating app, and spoke to on the phone, and was given no reason to not assume otherwise? He responded based on the context. He shot his shot based on the context.
So... speaking in the ridiculous logic of scale rating people, there's nothing wrong with being a 6. Anyone insulted by that, is way too sensitive. The majority of society are 5s and 6s. Different individuals will see a 5 and to them, they're a 10. I've gone out with women who people have thought were a 2, until they got to know them and saw them in various different elements which caused them to continuously change their rating of that person. In essence, this rating scale is the dumbest thing ever and I applaud OP for responding with a 'LOOOL', because dude's response was childish and dumb.
im so glad i am now happily married. alot of these posts really make me feel for the people hurting in the dating world. and i applaud you a thousand times for that laugh at the end. the dating world is getting ever hardee out there these days, but dont give up. your time will come!
Wow, people are so salty when they get rejected. Oh well, you dodged a bullet. I love your response tho because that's all we can do when someone tries to talk down to us. Laugh and move (also roasting with friends too). 🤣
There was no reason for him to get rude. I know I sound like an old guy now but when internet dating was in the early stages and someone said something like you did when they're not feeling it, you would just reply "O.k., it was nice to meet you, good luck." or something like that. More like fellow travelers in the struggle to find a mate rather than instant enemies. It is a sad state of affairs.
If you knew you didn’t click over the phone…..you should’ve sent a text right away explaining that. Hell you could’ve added that in your hello text. It’s kinda an embarrassing moment to ask someone to meet in person and that person’s response is that they don’t feel a connection. Of course he was an ass for not taking it well, lots of people bring out the insults when being embarrassed due to rejection.
Again in the future, if you don’t feel a connection tell them asap. That “hey :) morning” definitely doesn’t seem like a start off to a rejection 🧍🏻♂️
I'd have said, "If your personality were more than a 2, we'd be meeting. I've said no respectfully, and your ego is so bruised by it that you're calling me a 6. I dont believe that 6, i believe your feelings are hurt, and you deal with them by lashing out at women for simply saying no. Big man beta."
I don't care how tall a person is but to insult a person on the way out for no reason is just stupid. You could still get laid for being just nice and reasonably attractive. That was how I got regularly laid back in the day. Just be nice.... got a lot of 3 a.m. phone calls.
“Damn, dude. You got curved by a 6! Suxx to be you!”
😂!! For real he’s giving a solid 0 vibes.
The laugh was the perfect answer. You should laugh at anyone trying to dull your shine
With the way the world is you’d look like a psycho.
Just this, constantly, day in day out 
She didn’t know she was getting insulted either
Why would he want to go out with you if he felt you are below a 6?? Not a lot of logic being done in this dude’s mind.
Ego Defence Protocol
Or Maybe hes just trying to get his brush wet , desperate times …
Spot on.
Obviously he was just being cringe and trying to hurt her on his way out because his ego was bruised. But there are tons of guys that go out with girls they don’t think are very hot, because they’re less nervous or think it will be easier to score or something. And some just don’t care that much and just want to get laid at all. It’s like that line in the office where Clark says “let’s go out and find score some 4s, there are no games with 4s.” And 5/10 would be average looks so it’s not like that means you think they’re ugly. Not that I assign numbers to people. I think everything about the thought process I mentioned above is pretty gross. I just go out with people I like.
I think 6 is the average tho. Its not numerically accurate but.. you at least +1 on to everybody if they ask (nobody wants the full truth). And even reviewing with other people, I dont think I have ever put anyone sub 5 hahaha just too mean. 5 means not hot. We get it!
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Oh clearly. it really makes the case for blocking somebody after you send the rejection text if you are really sure you don’t want more with them, which is kind of sad tbh.
I'm not a blocker but I legit had to do this yesterday. Guy got some jabs on the way out and was typing more when I blocked him. I'm sure he was livid, but he was being a complete d*ckhead
Was gonna post the screenshots here but I didn't know how. Lol
Well there are a lot of average looking people that are ok with dating average looking people.
I'm an average looking person. Most of the women that swipe right on me are hot (imo). Looks aren't everything when you're talking about a best friend/partner.
There is obviously something wrong or missing here.
What do you mean?
You are not just average. There is something else to your profil.
Maybe I am attractive and I just have low self esteem. My bio just says that I'm divorced and new to the area.
Probs has a nice watch or caight a lambo in the background. For real, i see watches as pointless items, but average Joes with shiny watches punch well above there weight
In my scale, 99% of everyday people are between 3 and 7. That is how a bell curve works anyway. A 5 is not "barely passable" but "perfectly average". I never had a problem long-term dating a 4. Sadly, this more statistically-realist worldview makes a lot of people insecure or sad, but to some, looks REALLY aren't everything.
And looks may not last. A lot of the people I knew who were pretty good looking when they were young, damaged their appearance with too much sun without protection, smoking and booze. As we get older, some of the more average looking people age better it seems.
Same here as long as you're cool to hang out with.
My scale only goes up to 9, and 1-3, 4-6 and 7-9 are separate tiers. A 9 is like a high level 3. You get the idea.
Why would a fox try so hard to reach grapes if he thought they were sour all along?
A 6 is above average.
Nothing wrong with a couple of <6 to keep the railing funnel moving!
Because ppl like this think theyre doing you a favor and wont be rejected
Well the logic is that he's pretending that he thought she wasn't that hot but was just good enough for a quick fuck or whatever. It's almost certainly bullshit, in reality he probably thought she was a babe, that's why he matched with her to begin with. It's just a way to lash out and make her feel bad because she rejected him
no he called her less than a 6 when she rejected him. it’s quite obvious why.
He didn't call her less than a 6
Because some people just want as many options as possible its crazy
Maybe he’s also below a 6.
He didn’t want to go out? Did you miss that part? He wanted her to come over. Most likely was going to see if he could get her in his bed . Some guys will bed down anyone that’s willing. Even 1’s. Telling a woman that she’s a 6 after rejection means he’s probably only working with a 4,maybe 5, and most likely a premie. Confident men don’t talk to women like that.
I'm Not defending him, Just saying that Most dudes consider a 5/6 average and Not directly ugly. Its Kind of weird, but i noticed Most Woman (Girls, to be fair) consider anything below an "8" as ugly. While man (Boys) consider 5/6 average and only below that actually ugly
Maybe he's a 2...
Never heard that song about getting an ugly girl to marry you if you want to be happy for the rest of your life?
He didn't want to go out with her. He wanted to Netflix and chill because he didn't want to be seen in public with her. How come women can have crazy high standards, but all women are natural 10s? It's like watching women's minds break when they claim Lizzo is beautiful then get mad if you say they look like Lizzo
He invited her to drink boba (public), she said no. He then invited her to go to his house, she again said no thanks, then called her a 6. As a woman, I don’t think my standards are high but some men can’t even reach my basic ones 🤷♀️
Off topic I think it’s crazy that some ppl expect to “click” with someone off of one phone call and if they don’t then they don’t see a reason to go further. I’ve had a decent amount of good relationships with ppl that I initially didn’t click with or thought they came off awkward. A lot of ppl are nervous meeting new ppl sometimes gotta give them time to warm up.
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She may have been trying to be nice I called off things after 1 in game party chat not because he was a jerk or anything but because his voice and way of speaking was super annoying to me. I didn't want to make him feel bad and say that I didn't like something about himself he couldn't change that could hurt his self view. So I said I didn't think we would click. Usually though anytime I reject a guy after any amount of time how they react after often proves me right in my decision to end it.
I suppose it depends on how easy it is to set up the next phone call with the next person.
I think you get a lot more out of even a phone call then these texts or emails will ever give. Do any of these dating apps. have video chat? To me it seems like that would be a pretty good way of getting an early impression before actually meeting. Of course, some people will come off better than the really are if they are good actors and some might appear worse if they are nervous about it.
Women have so many dudes reaching out to them on dating apps that they feel like they gotta wait for a dude where every second of every interaction is textbook perfect in their mind
“A decent amount of”, does that mean expert pimp? Or still single
Why did you text him morning with a smiley face if you don’t want to see him? His response was shitty tho
Incredibly stupid
my exact thoughts
This mentality is why people ghost. Being friendly doesn't mean you're interested in someone romantically, regardless of context
But in that case it's better to be formal not friendly
Exactly "Good morning! I enjoyed our chat yesterday but I didn't hink we clicked very well. I wish you the best" or something Don't be all good morning open ended
You dont see any are in between friendly and absent?
Going out of your way to be this friendly to someone absolutely does signal interest though.
It starts it off positive before letting him down easy? Its so much less combative than initially saying that they arent interested....pretty rough if its the first text first thing in the morning
Bruh 💀 fr? This is exactly what women are talking about when they complain about guys feeling like they’re owed something “Hey :) morning” isn’t a flirty response to “Hey” it’s the kind of thing you might text your friends, it definitely doesn’t mean I’m interested in seeing you and coming over to your house.
Yeah, you would text it to your friends, but would you send it to someone you met on tinder and already decided you didn't want to meet? Sure, it's not inherently flirty. But there are miles and miles of middle ground between "flirty" and "I never want to meet you"
I mean, there’s a difference between “I want to see you” and “I want to go directly to your residence without having ever met you in person”
The rejection came before the house invite though?
Am i the only one finding your comment dumb?
No. There were a few other for sure. Most of them got downvoted though
She can’t be nice if she doesn’t want to see him?
You can be nice while rejecting someone but if a lady sent that initial message to me I’d think she’s interested or at bare minimum she’s not about to reject me in the next text. So it’s a bit of whiplash.
She didn't send the initial message! You can see he sent "hey" before, so she was just replying
By initial I meant the first message she sent, not the first message in the screenshot
You really interpreting a smiley face as a come on/flirt?
I’m definitely not interpreting it as a I’m about to reject you
I'm definitely interpreting it as "not about to be rejected in the very next text." Do you seriously not see how it a normal person would interpret a smiley face as a positive sign?
A smiley face is positive that’s true. But doesn’t mean someone wants to be/start a romantic relationship ffs. And who knows if he had handled the rejection with some dignity and grace they might have become friends. I’m friends with several people whom I met via an online dating app but never got romantically involved
Context matters. A smiley by itself, from a random friend or acquaintance, doesn't imply romantic intentions. But a smiley included in a message from someone I've met on an app specifically meant for finding romantic partners, and who hasn't yet rejected the possibility? At the very least, that implies that the next text won't be a direct rejection. It doesn't take a master communicator to understand how in the context of possibly dating, including unnecessary smileys sends a very different message than "I don't want to take this any further." I don't condone any of the dudes behavior. But just because his response was abhorrent doesn't mean that her introduction should be immune from critique.
There is so much room between "come on/flirt" and "I never want to meet you", but on that spectrum, yeah, it's a little closer to the former.
She was just being polite. It’s a greeting and a smiley face, I think it’s bizarre to read that as an expression of interest and I feel like being dry because you’re not interested is crueler
I get it. But also another perspective—women are worried about rejecting people (I’m married and even when I’m catcalled, I still get nervous) so they may have just been trying to be nice to diffuse things, especially when it seems like she’s texting from her own phone number. But I definitely understand how that would make you excited and then boom.
The guy OP was texting should have handled the rejection better and some more dignity, and performed far worse than OP… and that kind of pushy behavior is why women feel like they need to dance around rejecting people. However I still don’t see how sending ‘hey :)’ was a good idea… it’s sending a signal of interest to a guy you’re not interested him. Opening with either a rejection would have been better or a less flirty “‘mornin”
That’s totally misleading in the beginning stages of getting to know someone
A smiley face? Please block me.
Even weirder is that she led with a smiley face and initiated the texting from the looks of it. If that person did both, no one in this thread is thinking the following text is going to be a let down.
She didn't initiate, he did.
Cartoonishly imbecilic
This is why I just block men after rejecting them
At least you reject them before blocking.
thats totally valid, and its nice that you at least send them a rejection. I wish this was actually more common, tell them you’re done and make sure you don’t have to receive a potentially abusive message
But if you unmatch from someone, they’re never going to see the rejection message.
i think unmatching is acceptable because it tells you that they don’t want to talk to them, thats all i care about. Its so annoying when you have a date scheduled with someone, lets say you been texting and they ghost you so you sit there for 24 hrs thinking hmm thats weird they didn’t say anything, maybe they are busy then day of the date you are wondering if you are going to hear something. Whereas if we are talking on the app they unmatch, i get an answer. The original comment was specifically for texting
Realistically though, women shouldn’t need to block Men after rejecting them but feel the need to do so because there are so many shitty men out there
oh yeah 100%! People in general could reject people better and handle rejection better, but I think this person is taking a very considerate form of protection.
I block the many, many women I reject. Every last one of them. No peace. No mercy
Woah look at Mr. Many Many Women want to fuck me over here.
Baby boy got hurted
I will never understand the insults after rejection as if it makes you look like anything other than a petulant 4 year old 😂
Pardon my French but is this guy fucking stupid? He asked if you were up for tea, you said shit was done and he doubles down with "come over"? It's not stupidity because it's obvious, so it has to be malicious but it is so stupid that it has to be stupidity. He tried the digital version of "la la la la".
It's called a Hail Mary. Dude got rejected, so he made a pass at a quick hookup, as he had nothing left to lose. Not defending him on it, but it's not the malicious part.
No, the malicious part wasn’t the Hail Mary invite, it was the insult he felt entitled/able to give when she refused that too.
Yes, that was the malicious part, I figured that was implied
Definitely stupidity served with a slice of desperation bread.
Stupid and desperate, definitely. But not malicious.
I don't know. It seems to me that he could have countered with something like he was a bit nervous, had a stressful day, whatever, and let's meet somewhere neutral. A second try.
Yeah, that's not going to work either, if she thought he was worth giving a 2nd chance, she wouldn't have rejected him based on a phone call. Which is fully her right to do before anybody says anything about that
You are probably right that he was already out, and it is fully legit for her to reject him just because. But I think the point of this post was that he went the low route almost immediately.
"And if you were more than a 3 in personality or self-awareness, you might eventually get that chance." That'd be my response.
I just hope once my divorce gets done and over with I don’t have to deal with the female version of this. As a 36M I hope to God women in my age range are emotionally mature and grown by now. I tell my kids “don’t put negative energy/karma/evil into the world, there’s enough without you adding some.” Which corresponds with the golden rule. I’d take an emotionally stable confident 4 over a bat shit crazy 10 every day. If it doesn’t work out in the end rather have a real friend than a liability. We’re all old and raisiny in the end, looks don’t matter that much.
I can’t imagine trying to make a first impression on the phone, that’s crazy.
Really? I thought a phone call would be a standard step between texting and meeting. It shouldn’t be a high bar?
Maybe because I’m pretty quiet and don’t always have a lot to say, there’d be lots of empty space in the conversation. I think most would find that to be a negative, but it’s a lot easier to make conversation in person when you can read physical queues, etc.
could do a video chat maybe? IDK, I’m not the best on the phone either, but I think I could make a judgement as to whether I wanted to get together after like 5-10 min of conversation. Any common interests, values, etc. Like text, just, y’know, faster.
idk it shouldnt be that hard to think of things to talk about with a complete stranger that youre intersted in. ask them questions. a lot of men struggle with that. put in your notes if you find it hard to think on the spot but a phone call is not that difficult for the avg person
You dodged a bullet
When the bullets dodge each other it's called a duel.
He didn’t mean 6ft because men don’t care about that
I've been rejected for being too short. Some guys only like tall women.
This comment section has made me realise how important women only spaces on reddit is.
Are. Sorry, grammar police here.
Damn my grammar has gotten so awful
It's o.k.. We can blame electronics and electronic media. Early electronic media made extreme conservation of characters/keystrokes a necessity and early phones were very difficult to text with. The rise of email and social media made it habit. We no longer need to conserve it so much and it is much easier to text now, but the habits have become ingrained. I actually like that many formerly clunky phrases have been modified or shortened, e.g. LOL, WTF. But I still want what I read to sound correct and have a hard time resisting. I do this to my manager all the time. Fortunately, she has a good sense of humor. You too.
My parents are both English teachers of 30 years so I’m used to it. The way their mouths drop when I screw something up is a sight to behold
I am not, and I did not major in English in college. I majored in Business Administration, but I did have a number of English Composition and Business Writing classes with profs that were pretty strict. So, I understand what the reaction of your parents might be. I often see things that are wrong and just can't unsee it and let it go. As a young person I was a pretty good writer because I read a lot. After many years, I am trying to write again and am finding how much I have lost. I am working on getting it back.
FWIW, because I see many people thinking you might’ve led him on just because you greeted him with a smiley, I just wanna say big disagree - a smiley does not connote that you like the recipient of a smiley
I mean, it's definitely not set in stone or anything, but if I matched with a girl on tinder, we chatted for a bit, had a phone call, and the next day she texted me "Hey :) morning", I would kinda take that as a good sign. I'm not siding with this douche, but yeah, a smiley does kind of have that connotation.
She was replying to his text from the night before the next morning, about 12 hours later tho It wasn’t exactly out of nowhere Everyone interprets things definitely But it’s kind of a stretch to place all bets on a smiley Plus maybe she’s not the kinda person who grows cold and discourteous just because she’s not interested… which is more than I can say about myself and a lotta other people
The "hey" and the "morning" aren't outta nowhere, sure. "Hey, morning" wouldn't have been cold or discourteous at all. No one is saying place all your bets on an early 00s emoji, but I would have shot the same shot, and also been caught off guard by the rejection. I wouldn't have handled it like him obviously, but it definitely gives off "I'm not about to get rejected"
 Kind of a stretch...? Well, you're wrong. You've conveniently excluded the the context of them meeting on Tinder and swapping numbers. Sure, *"Hey :) morning"* from a female co-worker is a stretch. But a *"Hey :) morning"* from a girl you matched with on a dating app, and spoke to on the phone, and was given no reason to not assume otherwise? He responded based on the context. He shot his shot based on the context.
So... speaking in the ridiculous logic of scale rating people, there's nothing wrong with being a 6. Anyone insulted by that, is way too sensitive. The majority of society are 5s and 6s. Different individuals will see a 5 and to them, they're a 10. I've gone out with women who people have thought were a 2, until they got to know them and saw them in various different elements which caused them to continuously change their rating of that person. In essence, this rating scale is the dumbest thing ever and I applaud OP for responding with a 'LOOOL', because dude's response was childish and dumb.
Hes just bitter cuz he got rejected
You did great and obviously he’s a jerk
That was brutal You a 6 girl
[удалено]
He meant you’re re a 6 out of 10
12 hours later responses are not a reply. So yeah the :) is so misleading
12h is nothing if you don’t live on your phone
Awww. You hoit his feewings.
Sounds like a bullet dodged 🤔 🚩🚩🚩
im so glad i am now happily married. alot of these posts really make me feel for the people hurting in the dating world. and i applaud you a thousand times for that laugh at the end. the dating world is getting ever hardee out there these days, but dont give up. your time will come!
Best response op lol u shunned his opinion as if it was irrelevant by accidentally assuming he meant something else xD. Worked out anyways
Get her a bear!
Wow, people are so salty when they get rejected. Oh well, you dodged a bullet. I love your response tho because that's all we can do when someone tries to talk down to us. Laugh and move (also roasting with friends too). 🤣
Someone can't handle rejection, good call..sounds like the guy would of locked u in his basement and keep you forever lmao
They aren’t talking about height but he is dumb and insecure for the response.
There was no reason for him to get rude. I know I sound like an old guy now but when internet dating was in the early stages and someone said something like you did when they're not feeling it, you would just reply "O.k., it was nice to meet you, good luck." or something like that. More like fellow travelers in the struggle to find a mate rather than instant enemies. It is a sad state of affairs.
“And if you were above a 3 I would take more offense at that statement”
I knew as soon as you didn’t reply to his 9pm text it wasn’t on. He should have read the room anyway.
No he meant 6/10 nothing to do with your height. He really is butt hurt so he tried to insult you lmao, what a loser.
Just remember, a 6 to this guy is a 15 to the right person.
Just curious, why the smiley good morning text if you knew you two didn’t click? Was it bad enough for no date, but friends would still work?
6 is above average. So isn’t that a compliment? Dude messed up.
Bro got butthurt
If you knew you didn’t click over the phone…..you should’ve sent a text right away explaining that. Hell you could’ve added that in your hello text. It’s kinda an embarrassing moment to ask someone to meet in person and that person’s response is that they don’t feel a connection. Of course he was an ass for not taking it well, lots of people bring out the insults when being embarrassed due to rejection. Again in the future, if you don’t feel a connection tell them asap. That “hey :) morning” definitely doesn’t seem like a start off to a rejection 🧍🏻♂️
After 1 year* was she flirting with me
I liked Groucho, "Well over 5 feet..."
I wonder how well this approach works for him
You must be this tall " " to enter
I guess he meant 6/10
LMFAO...ppl don't take kindly to NO now do they
Huh? He would do something better then Netflix and chill if you where better looking. No he wouldn’t he can’t even do the do you with anyone
I thought this was a girl talking to a guy cuz last i checked girls care about height
ouch what an a$$
Let me guess this dude thinks he is a dime ?! You dodged one hunnies!
Petty
Someone can't take no for an answer.
why did you even text him with a smiley face? I see two idiots
Even is she wrote good morning, she clearly mentioned and her tone was good and polite
This is bs
I'd have said, "If your personality were more than a 2, we'd be meeting. I've said no respectfully, and your ego is so bruised by it that you're calling me a 6. I dont believe that 6, i believe your feelings are hurt, and you deal with them by lashing out at women for simply saying no. Big man beta."
What would really bake your noodle is that the guy might have had luck with some girls. And yet I wonder why women give fools a chance.
I don't care how tall a person is but to insult a person on the way out for no reason is just stupid. You could still get laid for being just nice and reasonably attractive. That was how I got regularly laid back in the day. Just be nice.... got a lot of 3 a.m. phone calls.
Y’all are really acting like he’s pressed lol dude doesn’t care