Generally speaking profiles don't tell you **anything** of actual value aside from if you feel an attraction based on how they look and because of it it feels so pointless to spend energy on it.
If you look good enough to me it's enough for a right swipe because I can't tell if we click based on a profile.
Most people have some basic info that you could potentially glean some compatibility though. Mass swiping right is the most desperate shit
If their profile has no substance swipe left 🤷♀️
It’s not desperation. He’s saving time. He’s not interested in them all. He’s swiping right on them as fast as possible and then if he does get matches he reads the profiles and decides to unmatch or not if she’s not his type. It’s pointless to spend an hour reading every profile and then there’s all the spam and the swipe limit. Especially for a guy that gets no matches. You’re talking from a woman’s perspective and you don’t get it.
Unless some of them swipe right on you, then yes. But swiping left once in a while makes up for it to some extent. At least it used to be like that, and I'm guessing it hasn't changed that much. By all means, swipe right on the ones you fancy, but 1: be realistic and 2: ask yourself if you're really interested in.
I’ve started only swiping right I’m tired of having likes and not seeing them, I’d rather know a total cow likes me then wonder if it’s sum hotty, which brings me to the beauty of the unmatch option😂
tinder's algorithms are designed to drip feed you matches. they actively tell you people like you and don't match you with them unless you pay. I'm just saving time by not swiping on 100s of people who might not be interested. they want you on the app as much as possible so they can expose you yo as many ads as possible. I'm avoiding all that hassle and doing meaningful things with my day. I live in a small country so there aren't as many people to match with like there would be in most places. I'm on an island
Tinder's algorithm also scores down profiles who swipe right on every profile.. it's no wonder you feel like you're being drip fed matches if your profile is scored low.
I was on Tinder for 88 days with 105 matches in total based on 1523 left and 728 right. I probably didn't swipe every day, but assuming I did that's more than 1 match pr day on average.. and I didn't pay for Gold of what not, so I didn't even get to pick from my stack of likes.
Tell me how that is drip feeding?
i have tried to say this exact thing on here before and it is never received well. they do not want to hear it - they just want to carry on believing they’re doomed.
Because it's rigged both ways and nobody wants to waste time actually sifting through the brain rot that persists there especially if they've been unsuccessful after trying method 1.
There is so much misinformation and obscuring. You'd be best to swipe right on all and not miss a chance.
People intentionally want to be mysterious, and if they are real we have potato test.
I'm not talking about swiping left for the sake of swiping left, I'm talking about swiping left if I genuinely believe the profile I'm swiping is not a good match. Why would you call it risking missing a chance if you know for a fact that you're not interested in someone?
Because unfortunately we aren't smart.
We're so deprived of attention that we inadvertently tank our own sex... Which is kinda depressing when you take it into perspective.
That deprivation is intentional. When the losers keep leaving her you’ll be good and thirsty for anything when she’s 35 and ready for a savior. They’re creating future stepdads by ignoring them and friend zoning
Don't blame women for this.
Blame the internet for isolating us all.
Blame car centric infrastructure for destroying community so that apps are the only way to meet people.
Blame capitalism for encouraging those apps to use algorithms that intentionally avoid helping us find matches, to keep us on the apps longer so they get more ad revenue.
Blame capitalism again for forcing us to work so long that no one has time to form meaningful relationships.
This isn't a woman vs men thing, this is a fucking dystopia, and everyone is struggling because of it.
She gets more matches than she knows what she knows to do with, so she feels encouraged to make her matches dance for her and entertain her. If he doesn't or she loses interest, then she moves on to the next.
Eventually they’ll notice this has a bad effect on how people go about dating. They’re already complaining that a lot of guys don’t put in as much effort. Why not match energy ya know 🤷🏽♂️. Match energy or let it go and do your own thing. I passively date partially I’m busy with life setup but I don’t plan on trying convince someone to make space for me in their life. We got it we don’t.
It's called negging!
It is a psychological dating tactic to establish dominance in the relationship from the start.
It gained prominence in the dating scene in the late 1990's early 2000's.
It was generally used by men in nightclubs, for example there is a film it's used in (I can remember what it was called now) a man walks up to a woman in a club and says 'Wow your eyes are the prettiest I have ever seen'! And when the woman reacts with a smile he says 'its a shame one is slightly larger than the other'
What this does is create a good first impression with a compliment and this puts you at ease, then the insult makes you feel slightly invalidated, but this person likes you so you will try to gain their validation hence setting up the power dynamics in the relationship from the start.
I guess this works in a similar way, so you see the photo and go yeah id swipe, we could date and then you see the 'I hate men prove me wrong' this is quite literally telling you that she needs to validate you!
Let me try the Reddit approach.
"Don't worry sweaty misandry doesn't actually exist and you're kind of a misogynist for thinking it does."
Feel better yet?
If you’re a good looking woman and dating apps aren’t working, then either the app has too many guys on it that aren’t looking for dating, or your personality is the problem. And she seems like a “highly popular user,” so she’s getting plenty to pick from. Sounds like she’s creating her own frustration
No, it’s that SHE isn’t actually looking for dating. I hear this all the time. “Women have it so hard on dating apps because guys just want to fuck and don’t want anything serious.”
In reality they just get bored and move on to the next guy they match with and ghost the previous dude.
If she's 20, the issue is almost certainly that she wants to be treated well and there simply aren't enough men in her age range who know how to do that yet.
I’m not saying they’re not a problem too. It is a mutual thing. It’s just a sign that the person isn’t going to put in the effort required to hopefully benefit from a dating app. And if is a bit different from “I hate all men”
That’s because women will go on bumble and open with “.” Just to make the man open, which defeats the entire purpose of bumble. Besides, why should only one person carry the conversation? What’s the fun in that?
I’m women, and I don’t open up conversations like that, so that’s just generalising. I’m sure some girls do, but you should see some of the stuff that guys have said to me to start the conversation. I haven’t given up hope that theres still normal people out there lmao. There’s hot guys that I have to lead the convo more with, it goes both ways.
This morning I woke up to a match saying “if that’s you in your photos then marry me.” and I replied asking about himself, he gave the driest one word answers back and has left me on read since 2.
If you think that generalization is harmful, imagine growing up being told you’re likely a monster who’s going to assault women and that a literal bear is safer to be around than you. I’d rather have the generalization of having boring responses on dating apps than be lumped in with rapists and murderers who I have nothing to do with.
I wasn’t talking about you specifically, just relating my experience and the experience of my male friends with messaging women on dating apps. But you gotta understand that some generalizations are worse than others and what I said is about as mild as it gets.
What in the ever loving ?!!!!???!?!? Who uses such a traumatic thing as a counter argument to something that is of an entirely different topic, clearly?!! The comment you replied to …. Completely valid and a good point. Your comment? Just went out into left field when it comes to responses. Whaaaat
Are you really trying to explain to me how hard it is to be a man? I’m a full grown adult lmao, most people I interact with in real life don’t share the views you’re talking about in your first paragraph. It’s just rage bait to get views/likes/clicks etc. There’s bad men and bad women, it’s life. Grow up pls
I don't think she should have that in her profile but I get it. An overwhelming number of men on dating apps are liars, cheaters, manipulators, abusers, narcissistic, gaslighters so you get negative after a while that there are any good ones left. The amount of times I found out someone I was seeing or talking to was married or in a relationship was insane. The majority for sure. Do I think you should be on the app once you get to that point? No. But I get it.
It's also Tinder....like looking through the entire trash dump in your city, thinking maybe there are valuable things here..probably. And now it's super AI grifting trash added for fun so every garbage guy gets to be there looking like nice trash. Tinder kinda full of that, especially for women. It sucks
My guess/ assumption:
Because they don't actually hate men. They may hate the idea of men. They may hate all the negative aspects associated with men and masculinity. They may be afraid of men and the inherent physical strength every man posseses that can overpower most any woman at any time.
But they're straight. They have fathers, brothers, male friends, and intimate partners, and they would like to meet a man who inspires confidence in the positive attributes associated with men.
Sexism and racism are still rampant in the US. I don't think that most white men can even imagine what it would feel like to approach every single situation from the perspective of "do they hate/ judge me? Do they have preconceived notions about me based on my gender or my skin color?" It's a pattern and belief system honed for centuries that even with effort is difficult to shake (on both sides).
People get anxious enough about whether they are liked or not WITHOUT the addition of biases based on things that are out of their control.
It's not a pleasant experience. It makes one question every interaction, every sentence, and every moment. Looking for clues that may indicate that you're being treated differently solely because of your gender or the color of your skin.
The profile conveys a sense of honesty by declaring the sentiment. It's not positively received and points towards an inability to read your audience, lol, but I don't think the message is one of hatred or judgment. It's conveying an inner thought that is not appropriate to display to strangers. I personally expect my prospective partners to display a more developed sense of situational awareness and would not swipe right on a profile such as this.
I could go on, but I think I've described my impression/ interpretation of the situation fairly extensively.
I would assume that even though she is cynical and sick of men on dating apps/generally she still holds out some hope that the right one may come along.
Sounds more like she’s just going to create more problems for herself, or a lack of matches, because that kind of bio makes a woman a 0/10 for most self respecting men
I agree it’s a very illogical thing to do. You can’t be bitter or hateful on a dating app and get matches and you need to be open minded and hopeful if you want a successful relationship. I think a lot of women have poor experiences with men but if you want to date you have to be cautiously optimistic that you will find someone.
Honestly, it's not. The kind of guy she wants will be the guy who sees this, nods, and says "yep, a lot of men are terrible, but I know I'm not. She needs to be treated well." Then they will date and she will love him so much more intently for him being the one good guy she's dated.
I know a half dozen couples like this and they are so much happier than average, they're both utterly devoted to each other.
Some men being terrible doesn’t excuse such a negative attitude. I see these profiles and figure they’ll be exhausting because they will dedicate every breathing moment to talk about how awful men are.
Whether or not they’re referring to you specifically, being around negativity for long periods of time gets old.
Flip the script. If a guy said “I hate all women. Change my mind” Your first instinct wouldn’t be to think that you can change him by being nice. You would probably assume he’s going to be insufferable, and rightfully so.
Yeah, you're not a good match for this woman. She's explicitly trying to repel men like you.
She'd do fine attracting a man who understands her fears and concerns. Like a guy who has also experienced bullshit from other men and who sees how the men around him treat women. I've matched with women like this and they're great partners, I don't have to change them, I just have to be a decent guy and understand why they feel like this and that it's an exaggeration. They're not negative in a relationship.
How am I supposed to know that when all I have to go off of is that they hate men? Why am I supposed to give them the benefit of the doubt when it’s not afforded to guys who say the same thing?
You do know that plenty of men have also been treated like shit by women, but I don’t see nearly as many profiles posted on here of guys saying that they hate women.
Also, if it’s a fear problem, just say that you’re scared instead of saying that you hate every man. It’s so sad to resort to implying that I’m a toxic man just because I don’t like toxic women who don’t even make their stances clear.
Hating men with no further explanation gives me nothing to work with but assumptions. I’ve dated a woman who was all about the “I hate men” movement. Guess what? She was constantly bemoaning about how much men suck and I got sick of it.
I gave her the benefit of the doubt though because I figured she just needed to warm up to me, but no, she still had to let me know how privileged I was and how she despised the male gender
>How am I supposed to know that when all I have to go off of is that they hate men?
You aren't. You're not the right kind of guy for her. You should find another woman. The right kind of guy knows it instinctually, usually because he has experience with men being shit.
>Why am I supposed to give them the benefit of the doubt when it’s not afforded to guys who say the same thing?
Because men who say they have been treated badly by women tend to have like, been divorced or cheated on once or twice, while they have many positive women in their life that they ignore (coworkers, family, etc) or they actively avoid female friendships.
Women who say they have been treated badly by men tend to have been the victims of violence or abuse for years, and genuinely don't have any men in their life who are trustworthy.
>It’s so sad to resort to implying that I’m a toxic man just because I don’t like toxic women who don’t even make their stances clear.
It's not that. You're probably not toxic, just not good at understanding experiences different from your own. A lot of women don't need a guy who can relate to them on this matter, or they have positive men in their life and don't talk like this. You're just not a good match for THIS woman.
>I’ve dated a woman who was all about the “I hate men” movement. Guess what? She was constantly bemoaning about how much men suck and I got sick of it.
Yeah because you're not the right guy for her. She would have stopped if you listened to her, shared your own negative experiences with men, and commiserated about toxic masculinity and how shitty men are encouraged to be. But you don't have those experiences so you're a bad match for her.
Not every woman who you find physically attractive is right for you. Neither of you are bad people just because you're not looking for the same thing.
I just don’t appreciate defending people who express so much hate. You also didn’t address the comment that they could say “afraid” or “reluctant” and just resort to saying that they hate men instead.
You yourself said that they fear men because of bad experiences, so why not just say that so I don’t have to figure out which side of the fence you’re on?
For the record, it’s never ok to say you hate an entire group of people especially when you’re with a partner of the same gender you’re hating. So stop with the excuses.
She shouldn’t be the right woman for anybody who has self respect, because otherwise they’re accepting that hate should be tolerated if it’s “for the right reasons”.
For one, I’ve HAD bad experiences with women. I’ve faced insults and also sexual harassment from my far older bosses at work. I still don’t say that I hate women even though by your logic it would be totally acceptable to do so.
You offer so much goodwill towards women but none to men. I so happen to know a lot of great men in my life and great women as well. Associating negative stereotypes against an entire group of people is messed up no matter how you spin it.
So quit defending it and tell women who behave this way that they should say what they actually mean instead of slapping the hate label on people they haven’t even met yet.
I’m sure she still gets plenty of matches, but from my point of view those will mostly be hyper horndog men who want to manipulate her into having a one night stand.
There might be a few good guys in the mix, but from my personal experience, the guys who tolerate women like that and support them aren’t what those women are looking for physically.
Also, again, I never said I wanted to date women who act like this. I actively avoid them after the negative experiences. The justification and mental gymnastics is getting so old.
Thanks for keeping it civil. I don’t mean to come across aggressive or anything, but this is just how I feel and people are gonna have varying opinions on such intense ideals.
Edit: also, I’m not saying I don’t empathize with women. My last GF and I spoke about our emotions with each other all the time.
But I’m an emotional person in general, so when people start off with saying they hate me until I prove myself innocent.
I don’t take that very well. It feels like I’ll be stressed out constantly because I’m worried that she’ll use everything I do as ammunition to make me feel bad about myself.
Edit 2: I forgot about this experience, but I want to share it since it would be valid for me to be weary after this. A group of women at my job fabricated an entire story about me being a sexual harasser to get me fired. All because they didn’t like me nor my sister who worked there as well.
HR proved I was innocent almost instantly, but I still people asking me about it years later since the damage was already done, and I was avoided by everyone for months.
>I just don’t appreciate defending people who express so much hate. You also didn’t address the comment that they could say “afraid” or “reluctant” and just resort to saying that they hate men instead.
They do feel hate. It's ok to hate people who hurt you, it's a natural human emotion. As long as you aren't hurting others, and your hate comes not from stereotypes but from genuine systemic issues, hate is fine and a good way to motivate us to advocate for change.
Fear and reluctance aren't strong enough when you're talking about a group who has actively hurt you.
>You yourself said that they fear men because of bad experiences, so why not just say that so I don’t have to figure out which side of the fence you’re on?
No, I said they HATE men (as a class not as individuals) due to a lack of good experiences.
All women have bad experiences with men. The ones who come to hate men have very very few positive experiences and their bad experiences come not from a couple bad apples, but from systemic issues.
Like, a woman who survives a serial killer isn't likely to come out of it hating men, because like, most men aren't serial killers and men were likely involved in her rescue and care. A woman who survives a rape is more likely to, since she will be shamed, not believed, discredited, and mocked by men at all levels of connection and the people who care for her and help her will be women, because of systemic issues propping up rapists.
>For the record, it’s never ok to say you hate an entire group of people especially when you’re with a partner of the same gender you’re hating
Why not? As long as you hate the systemic power of the group not the individuals and believe individuals can break free from that power. I say I hate politicians but I absolutely would date someone going into politics because I believe that a good person can choose that field.
>For one, I’ve HAD bad experiences with women. I’ve faced insults and also sexual harassment from my far older bosses at work. I still don’t say that I hate women even though by your logic it would be totally acceptable to do so.
And in those cases, were you able to get help, or leave? Or were you working at female-led companies with the knowledge that you couldn't find another job that would treat you better, and that if you tried to sue you'd risk being blacklisted and harassed by cops? Do you have any good women in your life?
To be clear, what happened to you was not okay. And yeah, if you were, say, a nurse working in a female dominated field, and had a shitty mom and siblings besides, I WOULD understand you hating women and so would most women once they understood.
>You offer so much goodwill towards women but none to men.
I offer tons of goodwill towards men. Just not in the specific case of hating women.
With few exceptions, men as a class have far greater power in society. Hating men as a class is akin to hating the British royal family. The individual royals were born into it, they're not inherently evil, they were just raised in a messed up system that gave them undeserved benefits. They can be a "good royal" and use their power to help common folk, or be a shithead. But if someone says they hate the royal family they're expressing an opinion about the power and the shitheads and no one thinks they hate like, the kids as people. If a royal says they hate commoners, though, that's kinda awful and people are outraged, because there is nothing to hate BUT the people.
>I’m sure she still gets plenty of matches, but from my point of view those will mostly be hyper horndog men who want to manipulate her into having a one night stand.
>There might be a few good guys in the mix, but from my personal experience, the guys who tolerate women like that and support them aren’t what those women are looking for physically.
Short term maybe, but so do the women who don't say these things. In the end they wind up with a pretty typical feminist guy and are happy. And yeah the guys may not be what they want physically but most decent men aren't anyway. The hotter the guy the more likely he is to be a jerk.
>when people start off with saying they hate me until I prove myself innocent.
And that's where the difference is. See, I see "I hate men" and think "yeah, I also hate the unearned power men as a class are given and the shitheads who abuse it." You see it and think "she hates me." That's why you're not right for those women, because you don't see what they're going through.
She’s 20. There is your context. Classic immaturity.
Do women ever wonder how it’d be if a man wrote “I hate women, change my mind” on his profile? Women would be throwing the misogynist accusation left & right. But for some reason, misandry is supposed to be edgy & funny.
She's probably trying to match with other women or anyone that does not identify as a man.
From my experience in this sub, I'll tell her right now... She won't get matches from women unless she has rock climbing on her profile.
Why do people use tinder is a better question, I'm all for paying for dates but paying for several tiered subscriptions of a dating app is pure hot wet trash water and don't tell me its free mfs it's free to install 🤣 pay to use apps are trash. That's why you're seeing so many trash women on here, betting half are bots. There's no such thing as a dating app that works, fam. Promise.
Just read all the bitter comments here and you should get a pretty good idea as to why she'd feel this way. Some men just can't hide that chip on their shoulder. Dealing with sex pests on dating apps is very disheartening too.
It’s not just dating that this happens, you’ll see it on Reddit too, I think it is a cultural shift at least in America could be other places too but just my take.
"Men love overcoming a challenge" is such a weird concept to me, my ex told me about it when we were breaking up after 4 years, and I had never heard of this before and definitely never thought about it. Why would I want a challenge? The rest of my life is challenging enough, why would I want another problem?
As a man I don't see why she should change it. Men will still try to match with her and let her get away with a shitty attitude because most they're too thirsty to have standards. Until men have better standards on app (never going to happen) there will be tons of women with this kind of profile.
Women got tech on their side - instant fixes, hair color, nails, fake eyelashes, skin treatments, cosmetics, endless variety of clothing styles, high heel shoes, implants and injects of all kinds -
Men got very poor tech - endless months/years at the gym, MAYBE botox if they're older, tattoos (difficult and permanent), and maybe \*money\* if they commit their whole god\*\*\*\*\*ed life to it.
She still gets 1000 matches
all women get matches because we only swipe right
Why would you not swipe left on women you have no interest in, rather than tanking you profile and leave it buried in the stack?
Because tinder isn’t forthright about the fact that it’s algorithm works that way. I had no clue for years until I found out about that.
Generally speaking profiles don't tell you **anything** of actual value aside from if you feel an attraction based on how they look and because of it it feels so pointless to spend energy on it. If you look good enough to me it's enough for a right swipe because I can't tell if we click based on a profile.
Most people have some basic info that you could potentially glean some compatibility though. Mass swiping right is the most desperate shit If their profile has no substance swipe left 🤷♀️
Totally agree. Why show interest if there’s nothing interesting. It’s just a bunch of desperate people w low self esteem
It’s not desperation. He’s saving time. He’s not interested in them all. He’s swiping right on them as fast as possible and then if he does get matches he reads the profiles and decides to unmatch or not if she’s not his type. It’s pointless to spend an hour reading every profile and then there’s all the spam and the swipe limit. Especially for a guy that gets no matches. You’re talking from a woman’s perspective and you don’t get it.
He didn’t say mass swiping. He said he swiped right if he was attracted lol
His first comment: > we only swipe right
So swiping right on a lot of girls you find attractive puts you on the bottom of the queue?
Unless some of them swipe right on you, then yes. But swiping left once in a while makes up for it to some extent. At least it used to be like that, and I'm guessing it hasn't changed that much. By all means, swipe right on the ones you fancy, but 1: be realistic and 2: ask yourself if you're really interested in.
I’ve started only swiping right I’m tired of having likes and not seeing them, I’d rather know a total cow likes me then wonder if it’s sum hotty, which brings me to the beauty of the unmatch option😂
I don't have tike to sit and read every profile look at 100s of pics I have an app that does it for me. I just check the matches to see what I like
I'm guessing you'd actually get more and higher quality matches if you did, but hey, you do you
tinder's algorithms are designed to drip feed you matches. they actively tell you people like you and don't match you with them unless you pay. I'm just saving time by not swiping on 100s of people who might not be interested. they want you on the app as much as possible so they can expose you yo as many ads as possible. I'm avoiding all that hassle and doing meaningful things with my day. I live in a small country so there aren't as many people to match with like there would be in most places. I'm on an island
Tinder's algorithm also scores down profiles who swipe right on every profile.. it's no wonder you feel like you're being drip fed matches if your profile is scored low. I was on Tinder for 88 days with 105 matches in total based on 1523 left and 728 right. I probably didn't swipe every day, but assuming I did that's more than 1 match pr day on average.. and I didn't pay for Gold of what not, so I didn't even get to pick from my stack of likes. Tell me how that is drip feeding?
Because yours is an anecdotal experience. Most people especially on this subreddit don't exactly follow rules 1 and 2.
By all means, but we know that Tinder is using some sort of scoring algorithm so why would people intentionally shoot themselves in the foot?
i have tried to say this exact thing on here before and it is never received well. they do not want to hear it - they just want to carry on believing they’re doomed.
Because it's rigged both ways and nobody wants to waste time actually sifting through the brain rot that persists there especially if they've been unsuccessful after trying method 1.
They also feed you bots and old profiles if you mass spam right swipes.. just fucking yourself over tbh
There is so much misinformation and obscuring. You'd be best to swipe right on all and not miss a chance. People intentionally want to be mysterious, and if they are real we have potato test.
I'm not talking about swiping left for the sake of swiping left, I'm talking about swiping left if I genuinely believe the profile I'm swiping is not a good match. Why would you call it risking missing a chance if you know for a fact that you're not interested in someone?
Literally
Because unfortunately we aren't smart. We're so deprived of attention that we inadvertently tank our own sex... Which is kinda depressing when you take it into perspective.
Well I mean look at the flip-side, literally.. women given so much overt attention that they also tank their own sex (perception… ya know)
That deprivation is intentional. When the losers keep leaving her you’ll be good and thirsty for anything when she’s 35 and ready for a savior. They’re creating future stepdads by ignoring them and friend zoning
Don't blame women for this. Blame the internet for isolating us all. Blame car centric infrastructure for destroying community so that apps are the only way to meet people. Blame capitalism for encouraging those apps to use algorithms that intentionally avoid helping us find matches, to keep us on the apps longer so they get more ad revenue. Blame capitalism again for forcing us to work so long that no one has time to form meaningful relationships. This isn't a woman vs men thing, this is a fucking dystopia, and everyone is struggling because of it.
Until they see her face 🤡
because i don't care what her opinions are. i dont plan on talking to her *to hear what she has to say.*
Skill issue. Do better.
She gets more matches than she knows what she knows to do with, so she feels encouraged to make her matches dance for her and entertain her. If he doesn't or she loses interest, then she moves on to the next.
Eventually they’ll notice this has a bad effect on how people go about dating. They’re already complaining that a lot of guys don’t put in as much effort. Why not match energy ya know 🤷🏽♂️. Match energy or let it go and do your own thing. I passively date partially I’m busy with life setup but I don’t plan on trying convince someone to make space for me in their life. We got it we don’t.
So they can get attention, sell their snap or OF or find a sugar daddy
I have seen that
they think it’s funny or they’re standing up against or something idk it’s weird
Simp bait
Look up the brat kink
I hate women who hate men. Change my mind.
Actually on second thought I don’t think I should
It's called negging! It is a psychological dating tactic to establish dominance in the relationship from the start. It gained prominence in the dating scene in the late 1990's early 2000's. It was generally used by men in nightclubs, for example there is a film it's used in (I can remember what it was called now) a man walks up to a woman in a club and says 'Wow your eyes are the prettiest I have ever seen'! And when the woman reacts with a smile he says 'its a shame one is slightly larger than the other' What this does is create a good first impression with a compliment and this puts you at ease, then the insult makes you feel slightly invalidated, but this person likes you so you will try to gain their validation hence setting up the power dynamics in the relationship from the start. I guess this works in a similar way, so you see the photo and go yeah id swipe, we could date and then you see the 'I hate men prove me wrong' this is quite literally telling you that she needs to validate you!
Agreed.
Let me try the Reddit approach. "Don't worry sweaty misandry doesn't actually exist and you're kind of a misogynist for thinking it does." Feel better yet?
Sweaty misandry?
Because she wants you to tell her you're "different", or she's looking for a guy to step on. Either way it's a red flag
They hate that they're straight
I’ve seen some say this verbatim. It’s interesting
Ikr. I've heard "it's not cool to only be straight" which is another interesting side to this.
My ex used to say she hated men when I was dating her, she's my ex now for obvious reasons.
Awwww someone hurt her.
So that way you can change her mind, it’s pretty straightforward and clear
Hmm yes how come I never thought of that
Frustration.
If you’re a good looking woman and dating apps aren’t working, then either the app has too many guys on it that aren’t looking for dating, or your personality is the problem. And she seems like a “highly popular user,” so she’s getting plenty to pick from. Sounds like she’s creating her own frustration
No, it’s that SHE isn’t actually looking for dating. I hear this all the time. “Women have it so hard on dating apps because guys just want to fuck and don’t want anything serious.” In reality they just get bored and move on to the next guy they match with and ghost the previous dude.
If she's 20, the issue is almost certainly that she wants to be treated well and there simply aren't enough men in her age range who know how to do that yet.
Men have the equivalent “don’t match with me if you’re not gonna speak.” I never swipe on them because they already seem pissed off.
That’s usually because a fifth of the women I see’s profiles say some variation of “texting first isn’t my job”
Oh right, so men are only retaliating to women? Can’t just be a mutual fatigue from online dating?
I’m not saying they’re not a problem too. It is a mutual thing. It’s just a sign that the person isn’t going to put in the effort required to hopefully benefit from a dating app. And if is a bit different from “I hate all men”
That’s because women will go on bumble and open with “.” Just to make the man open, which defeats the entire purpose of bumble. Besides, why should only one person carry the conversation? What’s the fun in that?
I’m women, and I don’t open up conversations like that, so that’s just generalising. I’m sure some girls do, but you should see some of the stuff that guys have said to me to start the conversation. I haven’t given up hope that theres still normal people out there lmao. There’s hot guys that I have to lead the convo more with, it goes both ways. This morning I woke up to a match saying “if that’s you in your photos then marry me.” and I replied asking about himself, he gave the driest one word answers back and has left me on read since 2.
If you think that generalization is harmful, imagine growing up being told you’re likely a monster who’s going to assault women and that a literal bear is safer to be around than you. I’d rather have the generalization of having boring responses on dating apps than be lumped in with rapists and murderers who I have nothing to do with. I wasn’t talking about you specifically, just relating my experience and the experience of my male friends with messaging women on dating apps. But you gotta understand that some generalizations are worse than others and what I said is about as mild as it gets.
What in the ever loving ?!!!!???!?!? Who uses such a traumatic thing as a counter argument to something that is of an entirely different topic, clearly?!! The comment you replied to …. Completely valid and a good point. Your comment? Just went out into left field when it comes to responses. Whaaaat
Are you really trying to explain to me how hard it is to be a man? I’m a full grown adult lmao, most people I interact with in real life don’t share the views you’re talking about in your first paragraph. It’s just rage bait to get views/likes/clicks etc. There’s bad men and bad women, it’s life. Grow up pls
I’m explaining that the generalization you whined about is nothing and you’re gonna need thicker skin if you’re gonna be on the internet
The change she's looking for needs to come from within, no one else can help her make better choices.
I can help make better choices, but its not permanent
I've seen men with similar bios. Dating is difficult enough. I'm not trying to convince someone to even be open to the concept lol.
I don't think she should have that in her profile but I get it. An overwhelming number of men on dating apps are liars, cheaters, manipulators, abusers, narcissistic, gaslighters so you get negative after a while that there are any good ones left. The amount of times I found out someone I was seeing or talking to was married or in a relationship was insane. The majority for sure. Do I think you should be on the app once you get to that point? No. But I get it.
It's also Tinder....like looking through the entire trash dump in your city, thinking maybe there are valuable things here..probably. And now it's super AI grifting trash added for fun so every garbage guy gets to be there looking like nice trash. Tinder kinda full of that, especially for women. It sucks
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OK, well I don't speak to women so can't comment on that. I'm commenting from my experience and as the profile in question is a woman so
They want to see how hard people will try
My new slogan.
My guess/ assumption: Because they don't actually hate men. They may hate the idea of men. They may hate all the negative aspects associated with men and masculinity. They may be afraid of men and the inherent physical strength every man posseses that can overpower most any woman at any time. But they're straight. They have fathers, brothers, male friends, and intimate partners, and they would like to meet a man who inspires confidence in the positive attributes associated with men. Sexism and racism are still rampant in the US. I don't think that most white men can even imagine what it would feel like to approach every single situation from the perspective of "do they hate/ judge me? Do they have preconceived notions about me based on my gender or my skin color?" It's a pattern and belief system honed for centuries that even with effort is difficult to shake (on both sides). People get anxious enough about whether they are liked or not WITHOUT the addition of biases based on things that are out of their control. It's not a pleasant experience. It makes one question every interaction, every sentence, and every moment. Looking for clues that may indicate that you're being treated differently solely because of your gender or the color of your skin. The profile conveys a sense of honesty by declaring the sentiment. It's not positively received and points towards an inability to read your audience, lol, but I don't think the message is one of hatred or judgment. It's conveying an inner thought that is not appropriate to display to strangers. I personally expect my prospective partners to display a more developed sense of situational awareness and would not swipe right on a profile such as this. I could go on, but I think I've described my impression/ interpretation of the situation fairly extensively.
She’s so real for this
2 words, attention and validation🤷🏻
Report it. Stop letting them get away with these things.
For attention
Attention seeking. Lol All men don’t suck, just like all women aren’t attention seeking. Lol
“I hate men change my mind” I’ll let someone else do that, next.
I'd date her, change her mind then ghost her and change it back
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Like she’s some prize…..
Bcuz they want attention/someone to take care of them.
To signal she's a feminist.
I would assume that even though she is cynical and sick of men on dating apps/generally she still holds out some hope that the right one may come along.
Sounds more like she’s just going to create more problems for herself, or a lack of matches, because that kind of bio makes a woman a 0/10 for most self respecting men
I agree it’s a very illogical thing to do. You can’t be bitter or hateful on a dating app and get matches and you need to be open minded and hopeful if you want a successful relationship. I think a lot of women have poor experiences with men but if you want to date you have to be cautiously optimistic that you will find someone.
You think that actually makes "a respecting men" turned off enough to not match?
Yeah
Honestly, it's not. The kind of guy she wants will be the guy who sees this, nods, and says "yep, a lot of men are terrible, but I know I'm not. She needs to be treated well." Then they will date and she will love him so much more intently for him being the one good guy she's dated. I know a half dozen couples like this and they are so much happier than average, they're both utterly devoted to each other.
Some men being terrible doesn’t excuse such a negative attitude. I see these profiles and figure they’ll be exhausting because they will dedicate every breathing moment to talk about how awful men are. Whether or not they’re referring to you specifically, being around negativity for long periods of time gets old. Flip the script. If a guy said “I hate all women. Change my mind” Your first instinct wouldn’t be to think that you can change him by being nice. You would probably assume he’s going to be insufferable, and rightfully so.
Yeah, you're not a good match for this woman. She's explicitly trying to repel men like you. She'd do fine attracting a man who understands her fears and concerns. Like a guy who has also experienced bullshit from other men and who sees how the men around him treat women. I've matched with women like this and they're great partners, I don't have to change them, I just have to be a decent guy and understand why they feel like this and that it's an exaggeration. They're not negative in a relationship.
How am I supposed to know that when all I have to go off of is that they hate men? Why am I supposed to give them the benefit of the doubt when it’s not afforded to guys who say the same thing? You do know that plenty of men have also been treated like shit by women, but I don’t see nearly as many profiles posted on here of guys saying that they hate women. Also, if it’s a fear problem, just say that you’re scared instead of saying that you hate every man. It’s so sad to resort to implying that I’m a toxic man just because I don’t like toxic women who don’t even make their stances clear. Hating men with no further explanation gives me nothing to work with but assumptions. I’ve dated a woman who was all about the “I hate men” movement. Guess what? She was constantly bemoaning about how much men suck and I got sick of it. I gave her the benefit of the doubt though because I figured she just needed to warm up to me, but no, she still had to let me know how privileged I was and how she despised the male gender
>How am I supposed to know that when all I have to go off of is that they hate men? You aren't. You're not the right kind of guy for her. You should find another woman. The right kind of guy knows it instinctually, usually because he has experience with men being shit. >Why am I supposed to give them the benefit of the doubt when it’s not afforded to guys who say the same thing? Because men who say they have been treated badly by women tend to have like, been divorced or cheated on once or twice, while they have many positive women in their life that they ignore (coworkers, family, etc) or they actively avoid female friendships. Women who say they have been treated badly by men tend to have been the victims of violence or abuse for years, and genuinely don't have any men in their life who are trustworthy. >It’s so sad to resort to implying that I’m a toxic man just because I don’t like toxic women who don’t even make their stances clear. It's not that. You're probably not toxic, just not good at understanding experiences different from your own. A lot of women don't need a guy who can relate to them on this matter, or they have positive men in their life and don't talk like this. You're just not a good match for THIS woman. >I’ve dated a woman who was all about the “I hate men” movement. Guess what? She was constantly bemoaning about how much men suck and I got sick of it. Yeah because you're not the right guy for her. She would have stopped if you listened to her, shared your own negative experiences with men, and commiserated about toxic masculinity and how shitty men are encouraged to be. But you don't have those experiences so you're a bad match for her. Not every woman who you find physically attractive is right for you. Neither of you are bad people just because you're not looking for the same thing.
I just don’t appreciate defending people who express so much hate. You also didn’t address the comment that they could say “afraid” or “reluctant” and just resort to saying that they hate men instead. You yourself said that they fear men because of bad experiences, so why not just say that so I don’t have to figure out which side of the fence you’re on? For the record, it’s never ok to say you hate an entire group of people especially when you’re with a partner of the same gender you’re hating. So stop with the excuses. She shouldn’t be the right woman for anybody who has self respect, because otherwise they’re accepting that hate should be tolerated if it’s “for the right reasons”. For one, I’ve HAD bad experiences with women. I’ve faced insults and also sexual harassment from my far older bosses at work. I still don’t say that I hate women even though by your logic it would be totally acceptable to do so. You offer so much goodwill towards women but none to men. I so happen to know a lot of great men in my life and great women as well. Associating negative stereotypes against an entire group of people is messed up no matter how you spin it. So quit defending it and tell women who behave this way that they should say what they actually mean instead of slapping the hate label on people they haven’t even met yet. I’m sure she still gets plenty of matches, but from my point of view those will mostly be hyper horndog men who want to manipulate her into having a one night stand. There might be a few good guys in the mix, but from my personal experience, the guys who tolerate women like that and support them aren’t what those women are looking for physically. Also, again, I never said I wanted to date women who act like this. I actively avoid them after the negative experiences. The justification and mental gymnastics is getting so old. Thanks for keeping it civil. I don’t mean to come across aggressive or anything, but this is just how I feel and people are gonna have varying opinions on such intense ideals. Edit: also, I’m not saying I don’t empathize with women. My last GF and I spoke about our emotions with each other all the time. But I’m an emotional person in general, so when people start off with saying they hate me until I prove myself innocent. I don’t take that very well. It feels like I’ll be stressed out constantly because I’m worried that she’ll use everything I do as ammunition to make me feel bad about myself. Edit 2: I forgot about this experience, but I want to share it since it would be valid for me to be weary after this. A group of women at my job fabricated an entire story about me being a sexual harasser to get me fired. All because they didn’t like me nor my sister who worked there as well. HR proved I was innocent almost instantly, but I still people asking me about it years later since the damage was already done, and I was avoided by everyone for months.
>I just don’t appreciate defending people who express so much hate. You also didn’t address the comment that they could say “afraid” or “reluctant” and just resort to saying that they hate men instead. They do feel hate. It's ok to hate people who hurt you, it's a natural human emotion. As long as you aren't hurting others, and your hate comes not from stereotypes but from genuine systemic issues, hate is fine and a good way to motivate us to advocate for change. Fear and reluctance aren't strong enough when you're talking about a group who has actively hurt you. >You yourself said that they fear men because of bad experiences, so why not just say that so I don’t have to figure out which side of the fence you’re on? No, I said they HATE men (as a class not as individuals) due to a lack of good experiences. All women have bad experiences with men. The ones who come to hate men have very very few positive experiences and their bad experiences come not from a couple bad apples, but from systemic issues. Like, a woman who survives a serial killer isn't likely to come out of it hating men, because like, most men aren't serial killers and men were likely involved in her rescue and care. A woman who survives a rape is more likely to, since she will be shamed, not believed, discredited, and mocked by men at all levels of connection and the people who care for her and help her will be women, because of systemic issues propping up rapists. >For the record, it’s never ok to say you hate an entire group of people especially when you’re with a partner of the same gender you’re hating Why not? As long as you hate the systemic power of the group not the individuals and believe individuals can break free from that power. I say I hate politicians but I absolutely would date someone going into politics because I believe that a good person can choose that field. >For one, I’ve HAD bad experiences with women. I’ve faced insults and also sexual harassment from my far older bosses at work. I still don’t say that I hate women even though by your logic it would be totally acceptable to do so. And in those cases, were you able to get help, or leave? Or were you working at female-led companies with the knowledge that you couldn't find another job that would treat you better, and that if you tried to sue you'd risk being blacklisted and harassed by cops? Do you have any good women in your life? To be clear, what happened to you was not okay. And yeah, if you were, say, a nurse working in a female dominated field, and had a shitty mom and siblings besides, I WOULD understand you hating women and so would most women once they understood. >You offer so much goodwill towards women but none to men. I offer tons of goodwill towards men. Just not in the specific case of hating women. With few exceptions, men as a class have far greater power in society. Hating men as a class is akin to hating the British royal family. The individual royals were born into it, they're not inherently evil, they were just raised in a messed up system that gave them undeserved benefits. They can be a "good royal" and use their power to help common folk, or be a shithead. But if someone says they hate the royal family they're expressing an opinion about the power and the shitheads and no one thinks they hate like, the kids as people. If a royal says they hate commoners, though, that's kinda awful and people are outraged, because there is nothing to hate BUT the people. >I’m sure she still gets plenty of matches, but from my point of view those will mostly be hyper horndog men who want to manipulate her into having a one night stand. >There might be a few good guys in the mix, but from my personal experience, the guys who tolerate women like that and support them aren’t what those women are looking for physically. Short term maybe, but so do the women who don't say these things. In the end they wind up with a pretty typical feminist guy and are happy. And yeah the guys may not be what they want physically but most decent men aren't anyway. The hotter the guy the more likely he is to be a jerk. >when people start off with saying they hate me until I prove myself innocent. And that's where the difference is. See, I see "I hate men" and think "yeah, I also hate the unearned power men as a class are given and the shitheads who abuse it." You see it and think "she hates me." That's why you're not right for those women, because you don't see what they're going through.
One of the only normal responses in this thread lol
She’s 20. There is your context. Classic immaturity. Do women ever wonder how it’d be if a man wrote “I hate women, change my mind” on his profile? Women would be throwing the misogynist accusation left & right. But for some reason, misandry is supposed to be edgy & funny.
Yeah, it's a double standard for sure
She's weeding out the weak. Strong men say, challenge accepted.
Weak men fall first the bait, strong men don’t play the games
Weak men warm the bench while the bold make the three point clutch fade.
Lol
I love me some Luka.
To provoke sensitive guys
Imagine if a man made a profile that said “I hate women, change my mind.”
Because pathetic men will still swipe and show interest. I think you under estimate how desperate some men are.
She's probably trying to match with other women or anyone that does not identify as a man. From my experience in this sub, I'll tell her right now... She won't get matches from women unless she has rock climbing on her profile.
She wants to always be the victim in the relationship and not have to reflect on her own actions towards her partner
kink
To generate engagement and then link her OF
They’re emotionally unstable. Guaranteed that none of her past relationships failed due to her own actions or behavior.
For you to comment and post on Reddit
I don’t think that’s benefitting her in any way
the guy version of this is "this app sucks" or "idk what i'm doing here" or "this is tinder not match.com"
Women when they realise men get so little matches that we just aimlessly swipe right till we get board or get the rare match 👀
Why do people use tinder is a better question, I'm all for paying for dates but paying for several tiered subscriptions of a dating app is pure hot wet trash water and don't tell me its free mfs it's free to install 🤣 pay to use apps are trash. That's why you're seeing so many trash women on here, betting half are bots. There's no such thing as a dating app that works, fam. Promise.
I think should reinstall tinder
Just read all the bitter comments here and you should get a pretty good idea as to why she'd feel this way. Some men just can't hide that chip on their shoulder. Dealing with sex pests on dating apps is very disheartening too.
Ask her if she wants to bang.
Attention
“I’m no man.”- Eowyn
It’s not just dating that this happens, you’ll see it on Reddit too, I think it is a cultural shift at least in America could be other places too but just my take.
Because there are suckers that will still swipe her like "haha babe, even me? 😜🥺".
The "I Can Fix Her" Gambit™
Maybe they wanna hate-fuck. 🤷🏾♂️
She’s 20 lol.
Did you see the 20 above it? 😉
This is a test of the emergency asshole identifying method, this may only be a test, but you still want to pass the test. That's why.
Y'know I might be in the minority, but I genuinely think they see this as charming. 🙄
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"Men love overcoming a challenge" is such a weird concept to me, my ex told me about it when we were breaking up after 4 years, and I had never heard of this before and definitely never thought about it. Why would I want a challenge? The rest of my life is challenging enough, why would I want another problem?
As a man I don't see why she should change it. Men will still try to match with her and let her get away with a shitty attitude because most they're too thirsty to have standards. Until men have better standards on app (never going to happen) there will be tons of women with this kind of profile.
girlfriends poisoning their mind. You will have to take her out of town for a while if you want to fix this one.
cause they think that she worth it , like crazy men Which thinks that they are the only one 🙃
because they can
Because they have options
I’d of swiped left and forgot she existed. It’s a shame everyone doesn’t do the same.
She's straight and hates men. That's a funny predicament.
Looks like someone can’t take a joke
Such a funny joke
Because she's conventionally attractive and she knows some sap will dm her asking to prove her wrong.
I can fix her is why
She is 20.. just trying to be edgy that's all.
i mean if your ego is fragile enough to get hurt by a bio like that … lmao i’d swipe left
Because they live in a fairy tail inside mind. https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSYaNXHh6/
Women got tech on their side - instant fixes, hair color, nails, fake eyelashes, skin treatments, cosmetics, endless variety of clothing styles, high heel shoes, implants and injects of all kinds - Men got very poor tech - endless months/years at the gym, MAYBE botox if they're older, tattoos (difficult and permanent), and maybe \*money\* if they commit their whole god\*\*\*\*\*ed life to it.
Even if a guy doesn't know how to wear cosmetics subtly, skin treatments, clothing styles, and implants/injections are all equally available to men.
Because the avarage man nowadays is a porn addicted simp...
Maybe she hates men, and wants someone to try and change her mind.
bet the angry sex is fire...