Lol they are not rare. They are not a special commodity. Iām a vers top but anything other than total top is just a bottom to this sub so why would that matter
Iām sorry, but how low is your self-worth, that youāre defending terrible tops online?? They ARE NOT some rare commodity or some extinct species. Theyāre men who are willing to stick their dick in someone. Pretty sure thatās easy to find. Stop lowering yourself for themā¦
Real tops are pretty rare commodity yes, i dont talk about randoms hook ups where bottoms are topping. But i agree they should talk together to find something they both can have pleasure. I didnt say that the bottom should not listen to his needs and be well prepared for the penetration
Then you should still find someone better. If heās unwilling to eat your ass, or at the very least, finger you, he doesnāt care about making you more comfortable. Thatās not love. Thatās treating you like a sex toy.
No, he's a fucking child because sex is more than insert dick deposit cum go home. During sex you are providing mutual pleasure to each other. He is not doing his part to bring his partner to the point where they are aroused enough to receive and give pleasure. You don't have to eat ass but not even willing to finger the person who you're are going to stick your dick in is fucking lazy. Frotting can be enough. oral can be enough. Instead, the bottom is literally asking how can I perform foreplay on myself to make it easier for the person who doesn't want to give me foreplay. Like what the actual fuck. If you are selfish to your partner go fucking masturbate. And don't cosign this bullshit as only one aspect read the entire post
Okay I get what you're saying but to be fair OP didn't really go into details, he just said he needs his ass ate or fingered to get loose (I imagine that's the only way he knows how to get "loose") but if your partner isn't into eating ass or fingering it, there are other ways you can get loose. I just think it's better to advise OP on other ways to get loose instead of telling him to leave his bf as if eating ass is the most important aspect of relationships (unless OP feels that way too), especially since we have such little context about OP's situation like why is his bf against ass eating and fingering? Is he disgusted by what's in there? Does he usually not like anal and is only doing it for OP? Does he usually bottom and is only topping for OP? Is this even a relationship or fuckbuddy/one night stand? There's so much context left out but ya'll don't bother asking, ya'll immediately jump to: "oh he's a child, he's immature, he's selfish, leave him, find a better top etc" no questions asked, I think you are the immature ones.
I think you are looking for something to be outraged about, and you are choosing to dump whatever this is on me. I don't think any of this has to do with the OP but something you are going thru. The OP asked how can I get loose for this particular top, which tells me they have done this before, and the top is not helping. If he'd not willing to work for the bttm's pleasure, then yes that is childish and things we did as teenagers. Trust me there are other tops that are in to what you are in and will care about you enough to provide it
I also think that none of what you are asking apply to this situation but something you are going thru, so I'm going to help you. You don't have to like everything sexually another person likes. But just as you want no judgment and understanding, you are going to have to provide the same thing. If you dont eat ass that fine, explain why or at least be willing to do something else. Like me, I love fortting I can cum from just that and go home happy but I know that's not the case for everyone
AND PLEASE, I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH NEVER TELL A BOTTOM YOU WANT TO FUCK THAT YOU ARE DISGUSTED BY WHATS IN THEIR ASS.
FYI if you want to continue to talk please DM because I have a feeling you need a shoulder or two
Lol well I appreciate your concern, and yes I am going through something but I still stand by what I say, there is a whole lot of context left out of OP's question and I don't see anybody asking questions or looking for any nuance, everybody is just telling him to dump him when the situation is probably more complicated than that
I really want to respond with something snarky, but I feel you lack the ability to interact with anybody on a higher level than yelling prick at someone online. I know you'll definitely keep responding to me if I post something to you because one you have nothing else better to do and two you'll think in some way we are on the same level when we are definitely not i dont want to give you that false sense of pride. And three, you need the attention to justify why you breathe. So here you go, you can now say you had my attention for 30 seconds. Go tell your friend or write this in your diary. Be proud most don't get that. Feel free to keep posting here. I won't block you cause I definitely know people like you won't let this go without a response, and I am curious if you can top "PRICK" but you have had enough of my attention so I will not continue to response
Of course the OP has lube and toys as an option... duh. But if you have to do all that by yourself, might as well be single. Too much work, I stand by my words... lazy, lousy top.
Well if eating ass and fingering is the most important aspect of a relationship above anything else, then maybe OP should just stay single and liv eon one-night stands and fuckbuddies because there's more to relationships than "I need my ass ate and fingered"
Im sorry but the point youāre making is so dumb af. Sex is important, and so is respect. If the top only cares for his own pleasure and is too selfish to care for the bottom, then yes, go find someone better.
Itās not about him sucking at sex (obviously), itās the lack of respect and carelessness towards the other partner. And who is talking about a relationship? Iād never even hook up with such a guy yet DATE HIM?! š
>And who is talking about a relationship? Iād never even hook up with such a guy yet DATE HIM?!
Lol well that's another thing, OP never gave any context so everyone is assuming this is just a hookup, I guess I'm assuming this is a relationship
Really???, I'm a top and my 2 main goals when having sex are A. Improving my oral skills everytime! and B. Making sure my bottom is feeling good and ready to go.
Do not give this guy another minute of your time if he will not change!!! Period
Do you own any dildoes and/or buttplugs? Those can be quite helpful, and maybe you can get hin to be willing to include them in your sessions at the start.
It mostly sounds like they're inconsoderate though.
Hahaha I hope your top is reading these comments bc heās gotta learn! Heās a lousy fuck.
As a good bottom, just cleaning yourself out beforehand is hard enough workāand good tops appreciate it! You shouldnāt have to perform foreplay on yourself, too.
I would agree with the other comments that heās not a good top *only if* youāre asking and he is not accommodating.
If it is a sub-dom relationship and you want to please him, thatās a different matter.
But thatās not what youāre asking - I would prepare beforehand and put a plug in after you do your routine before meeting him. Fingering yourself as youāre sucking on his cock can def help too!
Edit: thank you for clarifying! If youāre both satisfied with the arrangement, thatās all that matters. š
During prep time, after you clean up insert a generous amount of lube inside you and plug it up with a larger sized plug (as comfort allows) and during the foreplay I would finger myself to make sure I am ready!
Youāre gonna want to build up to a plug thatās at least about 4-5cm diameter if heās really just planning to bend you over and shove it in. Wear it from when youāre finished douching until when he arrives. But yeah, as the others are saying, even my dommiest doms will finger me a bit while I blow them. If all heās doing is walking in and expecting a fully prepped pussy ready to go, then heād need to be the best damn fucker in town or else you might as well just do it yourself with a dildo since youāre 70% of the way there already.
Tops generally should eat pussy to get it ready to fuck, but understand why tops donāt like to do that with a hookup. Doesnāt mean they are lazy or bad.
Fair warning: listening to these internet roleplayers who haven't actually ever actually cruised or hooked up - or who only do so sparingly - that are telling you to find a new long term partner as though reliable tops are a dime a dozen is a great way to end up spending the next however many months or years as yet-another lonely bottom pinging everyone on grindr, squirt, sniffies, et al.
I bottom sometimes. Your situation isn't complex. Build using a dildo on yourself into your prep routine. Myself, I use an enema bulb and sit on the can for 15 minutes expelling everything then shower, shave, and then use my USB recharable thrusting dildo.
Personally, a lot of the time what I need to warm up to the idea of some new sexual activity is to not feel pressured into it. So making sure your partner doesn't feel like there is some price to be paid before sex might be the best way to help him feel less pressure and more inclined to start branching out. My favorite bottom never ever pressured me to do stuff and as a result I did the things he wanted on my own volition.
I swore up and down I'd never eat ass. Then in my late 40s guess what...
You can never tell when someone will feel ready for a new experience. Bottom line is, a reliable partner is a rare thing in our little niche part of society and personally when I find a good connection with a reliable, recurring partner I'm willing to really bottom line what matters to me.
Well, he sounds kinda selfish.
But if thatās acceptable to you, you could always do a little pre dildo play before him. If heās not gonna eat you, he shouldnāt have any issue with you having lube from the pre-play in you already.
One guy I play (occasionally) with is actually into coming in and finding me either plugged or riding a dildo. He doesnāt eat hole but does enjoy playing with the gape or taking over shoving the dildo into me for a bit before sliding in himself. Personally, I find the foreplay lacking so he doesnāt get me very often.
But say youāre into ass up - pump and dump situations. Then someone going balls deep on their first stroke is super fucking hot.
To prep for thatā¦ maybe bring a dildo into the shower as you clean up and start to take it. Finger your hole a bit and loosen up. Or throw on some porn and get in the mood
Is it safe to assume that is some of the reason for being ok as a cum dump? I mean I can understand and I'm not passing judgment. Size is VERY important.
Use lube? Some people just aren't into eating ass or fingering, you can't force people to do what they're not into so if it's such a dealbreaker for you then just break up with the guy
Since everyone is giving the same advice Iāll give you some kinky advice. Do a few things: get some sexy underwear. A g-string, thong, jockstrap. Or a pair of nicely fitting boxer briefs will do. Next talk about his tongue more, i.e. you love his tongue swirling in your mouth and you love for it to swirl around your hole. Tell him you want him to help you loosen up. Yes a tight hole is nice but honestly theyāre not great for sex as we can see here lol. Lastly talk about sitting on his face.
I love when my bottom just comes over and sits on my face and Shoves his face in my crotch.
He also likes to stretch and show that ass off and wink at me from across the room.
If you want it ask for it. If he refusesā¦ get a new top. Lmao
Find someone betterš¤£
Bingo. Find a new top.
Tops are pretty rare , they aint that easy to find, and maybe this bottom has feeling for this top.
Lol they are not rare. They are not a special commodity. Iām a vers top but anything other than total top is just a bottom to this sub so why would that matter
Then teach him. Given the amount of preparation bottoms go through they deserved ass play/foreplay before the main event
Iām sorry, but how low is your self-worth, that youāre defending terrible tops online?? They ARE NOT some rare commodity or some extinct species. Theyāre men who are willing to stick their dick in someone. Pretty sure thatās easy to find. Stop lowering yourself for themā¦
Real tops are pretty rare commodity yes, i dont talk about randoms hook ups where bottoms are topping. But i agree they should talk together to find something they both can have pleasure. I didnt say that the bottom should not listen to his needs and be well prepared for the penetration
My problem as well. What if you love the guy?
Then you should still find someone better. If heās unwilling to eat your ass, or at the very least, finger you, he doesnāt care about making you more comfortable. Thatās not love. Thatās treating you like a sex toy.
Easy you make his childish ass go sit in the corner until he acts like a fucking adult and eat the ass like groceries as he should be doing
So because he isn't into eating ass he's a child? Why can't someone just not be into eating ass, why does that have to mean they're childish?
No, he's a fucking child because sex is more than insert dick deposit cum go home. During sex you are providing mutual pleasure to each other. He is not doing his part to bring his partner to the point where they are aroused enough to receive and give pleasure. You don't have to eat ass but not even willing to finger the person who you're are going to stick your dick in is fucking lazy. Frotting can be enough. oral can be enough. Instead, the bottom is literally asking how can I perform foreplay on myself to make it easier for the person who doesn't want to give me foreplay. Like what the actual fuck. If you are selfish to your partner go fucking masturbate. And don't cosign this bullshit as only one aspect read the entire post
Okay I get what you're saying but to be fair OP didn't really go into details, he just said he needs his ass ate or fingered to get loose (I imagine that's the only way he knows how to get "loose") but if your partner isn't into eating ass or fingering it, there are other ways you can get loose. I just think it's better to advise OP on other ways to get loose instead of telling him to leave his bf as if eating ass is the most important aspect of relationships (unless OP feels that way too), especially since we have such little context about OP's situation like why is his bf against ass eating and fingering? Is he disgusted by what's in there? Does he usually not like anal and is only doing it for OP? Does he usually bottom and is only topping for OP? Is this even a relationship or fuckbuddy/one night stand? There's so much context left out but ya'll don't bother asking, ya'll immediately jump to: "oh he's a child, he's immature, he's selfish, leave him, find a better top etc" no questions asked, I think you are the immature ones.
I think you are looking for something to be outraged about, and you are choosing to dump whatever this is on me. I don't think any of this has to do with the OP but something you are going thru. The OP asked how can I get loose for this particular top, which tells me they have done this before, and the top is not helping. If he'd not willing to work for the bttm's pleasure, then yes that is childish and things we did as teenagers. Trust me there are other tops that are in to what you are in and will care about you enough to provide it I also think that none of what you are asking apply to this situation but something you are going thru, so I'm going to help you. You don't have to like everything sexually another person likes. But just as you want no judgment and understanding, you are going to have to provide the same thing. If you dont eat ass that fine, explain why or at least be willing to do something else. Like me, I love fortting I can cum from just that and go home happy but I know that's not the case for everyone AND PLEASE, I CAN'T STRESS THIS ENOUGH NEVER TELL A BOTTOM YOU WANT TO FUCK THAT YOU ARE DISGUSTED BY WHATS IN THEIR ASS. FYI if you want to continue to talk please DM because I have a feeling you need a shoulder or two
Lol well I appreciate your concern, and yes I am going through something but I still stand by what I say, there is a whole lot of context left out of OP's question and I don't see anybody asking questions or looking for any nuance, everybody is just telling him to dump him when the situation is probably more complicated than that
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I really want to respond with something snarky, but I feel you lack the ability to interact with anybody on a higher level than yelling prick at someone online. I know you'll definitely keep responding to me if I post something to you because one you have nothing else better to do and two you'll think in some way we are on the same level when we are definitely not i dont want to give you that false sense of pride. And three, you need the attention to justify why you breathe. So here you go, you can now say you had my attention for 30 seconds. Go tell your friend or write this in your diary. Be proud most don't get that. Feel free to keep posting here. I won't block you cause I definitely know people like you won't let this go without a response, and I am curious if you can top "PRICK" but you have had enough of my attention so I will not continue to response
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If you have to loosen yourself up because your top wonāt help or participate, sorry but you need a new top. He sounds lazy and boring.
Or maybe he's just not into eating ass? Maybe OP can use lube instead? Aren't relationships all about compromise?
He could at least finger him.
He could, but if he really doesn't want to then OP still has lube as well as lots of sex toys to get loose...
Of course the OP has lube and toys as an option... duh. But if you have to do all that by yourself, might as well be single. Too much work, I stand by my words... lazy, lousy top.
Okay
OP can also find someone who isnāt lazy and selfish? Like whatās your point?
Well if eating ass and fingering is the most important aspect of a relationship above anything else, then maybe OP should just stay single and liv eon one-night stands and fuckbuddies because there's more to relationships than "I need my ass ate and fingered"
Im sorry but the point youāre making is so dumb af. Sex is important, and so is respect. If the top only cares for his own pleasure and is too selfish to care for the bottom, then yes, go find someone better. Itās not about him sucking at sex (obviously), itās the lack of respect and carelessness towards the other partner. And who is talking about a relationship? Iād never even hook up with such a guy yet DATE HIM?! š
>And who is talking about a relationship? Iād never even hook up with such a guy yet DATE HIM?! Lol well that's another thing, OP never gave any context so everyone is assuming this is just a hookup, I guess I'm assuming this is a relationship
Itās funny that you think anyone would consider a relationship with a guy like that šš
Lol I would, I don't care for getting my ass ate or fingered
Or instead of being in something meaningful he can just go to cum dumps when heās horny š
Yea I suppose that works too
Really???, I'm a top and my 2 main goals when having sex are A. Improving my oral skills everytime! and B. Making sure my bottom is feeling good and ready to go. Do not give this guy another minute of your time if he will not change!!! Period
Find another top.
Do you own any dildoes and/or buttplugs? Those can be quite helpful, and maybe you can get hin to be willing to include them in your sessions at the start. It mostly sounds like they're inconsoderate though.
Hahaha I hope your top is reading these comments bc heās gotta learn! Heās a lousy fuck. As a good bottom, just cleaning yourself out beforehand is hard enough workāand good tops appreciate it! You shouldnāt have to perform foreplay on yourself, too.
If he reads these comments, he will only find out how toxic this community is.
Whatās your problem?
Shhhhh! You can't speak rational facts and truth here or you'll be downvoted to oblivion!
I would agree with the other comments that heās not a good top *only if* youāre asking and he is not accommodating. If it is a sub-dom relationship and you want to please him, thatās a different matter. But thatās not what youāre asking - I would prepare beforehand and put a plug in after you do your routine before meeting him. Fingering yourself as youāre sucking on his cock can def help too!
We are in a dom-sub relationship. But I know that if we werenāt, he still wouldnāt. Itās not a deal breaker, but he is huge
Edit: thank you for clarifying! If youāre both satisfied with the arrangement, thatās all that matters. š During prep time, after you clean up insert a generous amount of lube inside you and plug it up with a larger sized plug (as comfort allows) and during the foreplay I would finger myself to make sure I am ready!
Thank is for the help. Iām seeing him Wednesday so might let everyone know how it went š
Good luck and have fun! Def let us know if our tips helped!
Youāre gonna want to build up to a plug thatās at least about 4-5cm diameter if heās really just planning to bend you over and shove it in. Wear it from when youāre finished douching until when he arrives. But yeah, as the others are saying, even my dommiest doms will finger me a bit while I blow them. If all heās doing is walking in and expecting a fully prepped pussy ready to go, then heād need to be the best damn fucker in town or else you might as well just do it yourself with a dildo since youāre 70% of the way there already.
> Top doesnāt like eating ass or fingering You have a bad top.
Find a new top
Get yourself another top š
Get a new top.
When i bottom i know my ass is gonna be clean because you gotta lick it before we kick it
You donāt do anything for him but leave and block his number. Donāt lower yourself for that individual
Damn, no eating ass.. bad gay/top!
Dump him
Why would you? Send selfish packin
He gives us a bad name. Find a new top and tell him to go back to training.
Tops generally should eat pussy to get it ready to fuck, but understand why tops donāt like to do that with a hookup. Doesnāt mean they are lazy or bad.
Youāre not sexually compatible
Find someone who treats your ass with the respect and attention it deserves.
This is all making me realize that I have a right to feel annoyed that I never get my ass ate lol
Wow i love all of theese answers! Yeah, find another guy, heās useless!
Lots of lube and start slow
Fair warning: listening to these internet roleplayers who haven't actually ever actually cruised or hooked up - or who only do so sparingly - that are telling you to find a new long term partner as though reliable tops are a dime a dozen is a great way to end up spending the next however many months or years as yet-another lonely bottom pinging everyone on grindr, squirt, sniffies, et al. I bottom sometimes. Your situation isn't complex. Build using a dildo on yourself into your prep routine. Myself, I use an enema bulb and sit on the can for 15 minutes expelling everything then shower, shave, and then use my USB recharable thrusting dildo. Personally, a lot of the time what I need to warm up to the idea of some new sexual activity is to not feel pressured into it. So making sure your partner doesn't feel like there is some price to be paid before sex might be the best way to help him feel less pressure and more inclined to start branching out. My favorite bottom never ever pressured me to do stuff and as a result I did the things he wanted on my own volition.
The top is 63. I doubt heās up for anything new. But I completely understand what youāre saying
I swore up and down I'd never eat ass. Then in my late 40s guess what... You can never tell when someone will feel ready for a new experience. Bottom line is, a reliable partner is a rare thing in our little niche part of society and personally when I find a good connection with a reliable, recurring partner I'm willing to really bottom line what matters to me.
Well, he sounds kinda selfish. But if thatās acceptable to you, you could always do a little pre dildo play before him. If heās not gonna eat you, he shouldnāt have any issue with you having lube from the pre-play in you already. One guy I play (occasionally) with is actually into coming in and finding me either plugged or riding a dildo. He doesnāt eat hole but does enjoy playing with the gape or taking over shoving the dildo into me for a bit before sliding in himself. Personally, I find the foreplay lacking so he doesnāt get me very often.
I know eating ass isnāt for everyone but he definitely should at least be slipping a finger or two in you during for play
If he doesnāt want to put in any work to help get you ready, he can fuck right off. Get a better man :)
you should refuse him the pleasure to fuck you.
Use toy with him ? Or prepare yourself with toy before having sex with him?
butt plugs
I always assume they won't. Toys are fun, or you can use your own fingers.
But say youāre into ass up - pump and dump situations. Then someone going balls deep on their first stroke is super fucking hot. To prep for thatā¦ maybe bring a dildo into the shower as you clean up and start to take it. Finger your hole a bit and loosen up. Or throw on some porn and get in the mood
Find a āstarterā top to warm you up. Then see him.
How "huge" is he? Sounds like the main reason you stay imo!
9.5
Is it safe to assume that is some of the reason for being ok as a cum dump? I mean I can understand and I'm not passing judgment. Size is VERY important.
toys. easy. My tops often use them to loosen me up, I have a favorite vibe that works well, and once it easily enters me, I'm ready :-)
Use lube? Some people just aren't into eating ass or fingering, you can't force people to do what they're not into so if it's such a dealbreaker for you then just break up with the guy
Since everyone is giving the same advice Iāll give you some kinky advice. Do a few things: get some sexy underwear. A g-string, thong, jockstrap. Or a pair of nicely fitting boxer briefs will do. Next talk about his tongue more, i.e. you love his tongue swirling in your mouth and you love for it to swirl around your hole. Tell him you want him to help you loosen up. Yes a tight hole is nice but honestly theyāre not great for sex as we can see here lol. Lastly talk about sitting on his face. I love when my bottom just comes over and sits on my face and Shoves his face in my crotch. He also likes to stretch and show that ass off and wink at me from across the room. If you want it ask for it. If he refusesā¦ get a new top. Lmao