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Follow up with the cops CONSTANTLY. In person. Unless you're in a one-horse town where nothing ever happens, they will have more "serious" cases (to them). Someone is targeting you or your kids. You want them identified and stopped before they escalate further.
* Did the cops ask you if any neighbors had cameras or if you had any idea who might have targeted you?
* Do NOT be the nice girl and dismiss people's "weird" behavior. This is the safety of yo and your kids we're talking about. Tell the cops about any strange interactions you've had or that your kids might have mentioned. You know who they are. Trust yourself!
* If the cops didn't ask you about neighbors who have cameras, tell them.
* Tell the cops about anyone who did work in your house recently. Even if it's the "regular" service person.
* You can buy door/window sensors that send alerts and/or alarms when the window/door is opened.
* Check all your windows to make sure they lock securely. Including the windows on upper floors.
* Get your own cameras, interior and exterior.
* If they find out who did it, you can help put them in jail.
So, the window is in your fenced backyard. Is it easily visible from the ground? Did it take a ladder or stool to reach unless someone is really tall? Or is it something you'd only really know about from the inside of the house? Is it obvious it is a bathroom window from the outside? Look, unfortunately what I'm getting at is it seems plausible that the person who did it knows the layout of the house. You have babysitters for the kiddos? Do they ever invite guests over while they're there? How long have you lived there? Maybe someone who knew the previous owners?
I do not own a gun. If you choose to, get whatever permits are required where you live, make sure you know how to clean it, maintain it, and practice with it regularly. Including getting it out of the lock box hiding place and loading it. For my own self-defense in home, I keep my ice axe by my bed (used for hiking/mountaineering, it's carbon fiber, I can wield it effectively with one hand and it certainly takes chunks out of ice), and I like small CO2 fire extinguishers. You really should have extinguishers in every room in your home, and because they're a common household item, most people pay them no mind. Spray them in the face then swing it at their head. I also have gel pepper spray, but that's usually for when I'm out and about. You can take the girl out of Detroit, but you can't take the Detroit out of the girl. 😂
You totally don't need to answer the questions. Just giving you some things to think through while you do your safety planning and figure out what next steps you can take for your family's safety. If the kids want a dog and you already have a fenced in yard, heading to the local animal shelter could work in your favor if you can take on that responsibility.
This is phenomenal advice, thank you.
As a certified people pleaser, I was “nice” when talking to the detective and didn’t dime out any neighbors, but there’s definitely one, maybe two, that teeter the line between neighborly and creepy that I should probably mention. The main one that I’m thinking of has never been inside my house, but he has helped with a bunch of external work when I’ve been outside fixing things or working on the lawn, etc. Nearly all of it he has done without me asking for help, and I’ve never been able to decide if he was doing it because he was just neighborly or if he was doing it because he finds me attractive…but I also don’t want to cause offense if he had nothing to do with it. (I hate myself for that way of thinking). He definitely zeroed in on me the first day I moved in to introduce himself, but there were several neighbors that kind of did that, so I thought maybe that was some small-town type of deal.
The window is visible from the ground, but in order to see in, you’d have to be on a step stool/ladder and be squished in between this tree and my house. It’s a pretty tight squeeze. And of course, it was the ONLY window in my house without blinds/a covering. The detective needed to use my ladder to cut the camera down and he was a pretty tall dude.
Now that I think about it though, my next door neighbor recently replaced the stretch of shared fence. It was him and some buddies that worked on it… I was totally fine with it (saved me several hundred dollars) but that did leave these people with unbridled access to my yard for a bit. My cameras didn’t pick them up walking to where my window is. But also, for some reason, my camera was adjusted out of its normal viewing angle when I pulled it up for the police to look at… like someone had moved it. Could just be a coincidence, but I don’t like it regardless.
I don’t want to feel like a bother to the police and really only gave them like a 2-line statement, but I’ll shoot this guy an email and give him more. He told me to send over any suspicious camera footage if I find any, so I’m sure extra details will be helpful.
Man this sucks.
Honey, you need to stop assuming that talking to the police is "being a bother." It's not. It's literally their job to listen to you and follow up on this shit. Your SAFETY is at risk. Which also means IT'S OK TO BE A FUCKING BOTHER. It's not just ok, it's appropriate. You SHOULD be freaking out about this.
IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO TAKE UP AS LITTLE SPACE AS POSSIBLE. YOU DESERVE TO BE HEARD AND TO BE PROTECTED.
If you can't do it for yourself, do it for the people who love you. Be proactive. Be MEAN if you have to. Do whatever it takes to protect your family and don't let anyone in the fucking world make you feel like you should apologize for doing it.
Especially since we don’t even know where she was the target of the pervert. It could have been her children. I’d be bugging the police as much as needed to make sure my kids are safe.
>The main one that I’m thinking of has never been inside my house, but he has helped with a bunch of external work when I’ve been outside fixing things or working on the lawn, etc. Nearly all of it he has done without me asking for help...
Read Gavin DeBecker's *The Gift of Fear*. He talks about men who target women through "forced teaming," e.g., "We'll get this yard in great shape." He's tested your boundaries and given himself a reason to be in your backyard if he's seen there. Absolutely say "no" to any other assistance from him. If he comes to your yard, ask him to leave: "I recently discovered a camera in the back yard aimed at my window so police advised me to not allow anyone else in the yard. So please go." And if he won't, or he argues, call the police.
Just because he hasn't been in your home while you were living there, doesn't mean he hasn't ever been inside of it! He may have gone inside the home when the previous owners were there and know the whole layout of it well!
If you haven't already, place a cam yourself, outside that window and facing the other direction. You might catch who it is when they come by to see why it's not working or if you found it and took it down.
If you need a quickie, Wyze cams are cheap, super excellent, full color night vision. Amazon will have one at your doorstep by morning (I believe Home Depot and Walmart also sell them now)I use their V3 outside my home but if you need wireless they also make wireless ones.
I'm so sorry this happened to you.
You have to both press the popo and the district attorney. It’s better if your statement is longer because the DA looks at it and will make assumptions. Call the DA if you want to further your cause.
None of what you are saying is a coincidence. This guy is dangerous. Tell the police everything you’ve written here, and include that your camera was moved. There might be fingerprints or something they can use.
I’d get a lawyer to ensure they take you seriously. You also need to make sure the police know you have children so the person videotaping you could have video of your children.
As for the gun part, if you get a hand gun YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE RANGE!!!!
Hand guns are not like rifles. You only have 2 points of contact and learning to shoot farther than about 7 yards takes training. The gun isn't all that useful if the attacker has to be that close to you.
For sure, I was raised around weapons, have done time in the military, own them, and am no stranger to them. The range is actually a hobby for my bf and I. I’m pretty confident in my aim, but of course, under pressure, it’s a whole different ball game. Thats why I typically stand by the use of a shotgun for home defense. You’re way more likely to subdue an attacker when you basically just have to point the shotgun in the general direction and let the spread do the rest.
If only. My camera only goes back 30 days and the only recordings that I have in that time are a couple second clip of the neighbors working on the fence, of an empty backyard when my kids accidentally set off the alarm while letting the dog out, and of them jumping on the trampoline. I have since adjusted the camera angle and have increased the camera’s sensitivity setting… but doesn’t do much good in the past.
I agree with this! Follow up with pd. See if a patrol car can monitor your street. This person may be targeting more people than you. And this behavior could escalate. Do whatever you need to do to kept your kids and yourself safe. I hope they find this dirt bag immediately so you can have some peace of mind.
Your pick and fire extinguishers are great ideas!!….
In a women’s personal safety class they said if you are going to have a baseball bat in your car for self defense, make sure you have a glove too… for criminal defense purposes. You didn’t intentionally bring a bat bc you are sick of men trying to touch or intimidate you, it was just handy bc you have been thinking about finding a weekly pickup game :)
Thank you for suggesting fire extinguishers. I live in a country where it’s very difficult to get a gun or pepper spray, and we don’t have bears. I have been wondering what I could have on hand at home for added security. (I’m a climber too just not on ice!)
CO2 will stop them (cold). Sorry, I couldn't help myself! 😂 And you really should have them in every room.
I'm a hiker/mountaineer, not a climber. 😊 An ice axe is a great tool even on regular trails, but the carbon fiber ones can be pricey. And non-carbon fiber can be heavier, harder to wield.
But get a good security camera with night vision, before you put up the picture of grandpa on the toilet.
Because if the person who puts up the camera comes to remove the picture, you'll be able to get them on film.
If you can, you should get multiple cameras (discrete) pointed where the trail cam was to try and catch the person coming back to put a new SD or to retrieve it. Hopefully they checked the cam for prints just in case any were left behind. Chances are the creep has a record.
My wife picked up some super cheap cameras called Little Elf on Amazon. You can put memory cards in them too. They also have motion sensors on them that will alert your phone. Time stamp it and everything. Super good quality for the price point.
I would still follow up with neighbours, maybe I’m too in the mindset of the majority of people are not shit, but I would want to know if my neighbour was being spied on, because then I would be more vigilant as well.
I’ve debated posting to the HOA Facebook page. Maybe public shame will make them knock it off it it’s someone that lives here.
“Hey neighbors, just FYI, I found this in the tree pointing into my shower.
If you recognize this camera, you can retrieve it from the xyz-town PD. I’m sure they’d be interested in wtf it’s doing in my tree.
If you don’t recognize this camera… might want to keep an eye out around your own house for sketchy stuff.”
The only reason I’m not doing that (yet) is because one of my friends who is an investigator said that if this tips off the creeper, they may start destroying evidence.
Do not do this. This a crime and it’s a police investigation. Let the police decide if/when to talk to the neighbors. If you are specifically aware of a particular camera that would have captured this area of your yard, or ingress to your yard, make sure the assigned investigator is aware of those, but DO NOT simply blast this around the neighborhood.
Also—to second another commenter—yes, definitely follow up with the assigned regularly. Cops are busy and often prioritize their caseloads out of necessity, you have to be a squeaky wheel sometimes. Good luck.
In addition to messing with the investigation, it may also give the person an ego boost. They get to see themselves discussed in a public forum with proof that they were powerful enough to upset you. Don’t give them that. I absolutely understand the desire to post about it though.
Put it or something that looks like it back and put a camera on it with a motion sensor and catch the sick fuck coming to retrieve it. If it didn't have an SD card in it and wasn't on they may need to come back to fix or retrieve it. When they do call the cops.
Completely and totally disagree! This woman needs to be comfortable in her own home. Every time she goes to take a shower or thinks of her kids being in there she’s got to see that camera being pointed in her window.?? No fuck that!
Ha no I agree with that, of course it shouldn’t be filming. I was thinking they could have covered the camera lens covertly and then waited to see who came to retrieve it, while filming with another camera. When the camera is removed, the perpetrator can see that the camera is gone/ that they have been found out and won’t come. But I’m no cop so who knows.
I have lived as a single mother for almost two years and one night someone tried to come into my home. While I sat on the couch watching tv.
I will never be the same I was before that night.
That being said… you own? Get a dog! A nice big one that loves you and the kids more than an intruder.
And (I hate to say it) do a concealed carry class and other gun handling courses and get yourself a firearm that you are comfortable with.
Teach your kids to not tell people things like “it’s just mom and no dad!”… don’t tell people you’re a single mom. Take a self defense class.
My local sheriffs office offers all the above classes and I have taken advantage of all of them. Except for the dog.. he came from the shelter 😉
It’s a scary world out there but mama… you gotta do whatcha gotta do. It’s not always the bear in your backyard.
Doubt any attorney would take your case without the police having identified a specific suspect. Who are you going to file a civil action against? Furthermore, do you have the disposable funds to pay for the attorney retainer, which can run anywhere from $1000 to $5000 just to begin? People easily say get a lawyer but lawyering is a business and they won't take cases that don't pay the bills.
When you consult a lawyer they evaluate whether you have a viable claim, not give out free advice just for the sake of it. Pray tell, what free legal advice would you give to OP in this situation? An attorney that gives out free legal advice without having been retained and conducting his own investigation opens himself up to a potential malpractice claim if things go south.
I'd look for attorneys that are familiar with civil matters, more specifically restraining orders. Ask for a consultation and explain the situation so you can both determine if there is any legal action for you to take together. I'm so sorry this is happening.
😭😭😭 did you think a criminal lawyer was gonna represent a divorced dad for his custody agreement? (this is light hearted i swear!! it made me giggle lmao!)
I just thought there was one craft of being a lawyer. I didn’t know there was different crafts of the law. But now that you mention it. I guess I have heard different ones mentioned in commercials. 😂
There are lawyers for different kind of field: small claims, civil court, financial, employment, criminal, commercial, automotive, corporate, Legal, divorce, family, and education.
You specialize in something makes it easier for you fight in court rather than trying to shotgun it.
Think of it like a shotgun and a sniper. You have better chance of winning with a sniper than with a shotgun.
My son is an artificial intelligence specialist lawyer. If I were to shoot someone that broke in my house I definitely wouldn't ask him to defend me if I were to be charged with anything. Innocent or perceived to not be. You need a bulldog.
LMAO! that’s so funny omg. i only know like 2 types i’m ngl, criminal and family. then ur average civil suit type lawyers not sure if they have some fancy schmancy name tho
Even a family practice lawyer will likely have experience with surveillance issues and if they don’t they will absolutely be able to refer you to someone. Please remember that attorneys counsel people all the time without filing lawsuits. They are counselors at law, literally.
I mean what is the detective doing? If he’s actually investigating, ask him if he’s asked neighbors rather than you asking & possibly messing it up.
Watch your children carefully. You don’t know if they were aiming for you or your children.
All ex-creeps say to get a really good guard dog or two. Seriously, no one would've been able to get that close to your window if there were two vicious dogs patrolling the yard. Good luck and I'm sorry you and your children have to go through this.
Yep, when I was single, someone tried to break into my house while I was showering. My dog was downstairs and went crazy trying to get through the window at him. When I called the police, they confirmed there were recent break ins in my neighborhood, and they were increasing patrols, , but my dog was still bristled up in attack mode and they felt that no one was stupid enough to come near my house again. Good doggy got steak for supper.
I have bulldogs. They are more likely to beg an intruder for treats than bark at them. One will roll over and ask the intruder to rub her belly. The other will bring the intruder his favorite tug toy and ask the intruder to grab the other end.
I would suggest putting your own cameras up around your house and in your yard. Motion activated lights would be helpful also. Alarms for windows and doors. Cameras in the house.
Having a 360 view of outside, inside as well as alarms would help feeling more secure.
I have a doorbell, front and backyard camera right now. I got 2 more cameras for outside to give me a 360° view, two more for inside, glass break sensors, and window alarms being overnighted from my security company. I put a dowel rod in my kids windows to keep them from opening and also put the window film on their windows.
I have no clue if this person is targeting me or if they’re targeting my kids (because they also bathe in that bathroom) but I’m not taking chances either way.
The whole thing makes me so sick to my stomach.
You're doing everything right. How about access to your yard? Locks and alarms on gates?
Sorry you're going through this. Hopefully prints will yield results.
It doesn't sound like someone random. Sounds like someone who knows you, your family, layout of the house.
Check somehow to see if it could have been the guys who installed your cameras (or alarms) since one camera was moved. You might have inadvertently told them why you need cameras or alarms in the first place.
Seems like an obvious suggestion, but put your own cameras up (in discreet locations) to monitor your yard and that tree in particular - though, unlikely they'll come back, now)
Also, have a Crime Prevention cop come and check out your security, and get some kind of personal defense - unless/until the perp reveals themselves, be extra-vigilant.
I don't think posting this to Facebook or what have you will help, and may hurt - talk to the detective and get their take.
Sorry this happened to you.
I would go in hard on this...
You mentioned you have kids.... this may not even be about you but someone trying to film your kids.
You need to lean on the cops for action, let them know you have kids and check if there are predators in your area. Protect your kids and make sure those cops do too
I’d get a motion activated camera, and point it at the tree.
Or put it in the tree pointing down. Or plant poison ivy with a good dose of fertilizer at the bottom. Or coat the tree with dog doo do. Or install some kind of a tripwire that triggers a flash camera. Or borrow a very angry cane corso—the kind that is quiet as a mouse until it’s too late.
Or all of the above. I hope you catch the creep.
Let the police do their work. It s a felony with jail time and you can sue the people for damages if they have money. Also never ever have a window in a bathroom that isn't opaque or blinded with blinds always down. People are sick.
Don’t know why I assumed a tiny window that’s 7/8 feet in the air on the back of my house that’s shaded with trees would be fine… there’s an opaque window film now, so there’s no way to see in anymore.
I feel like this is low priority to the police so I’m not expecting to hear anything soon, but it’s also a small town of ~20k people and super low crime rates…so they may be bored and end up surprising me.
> I feel like this is low priority to the police
Remember that the person who did this may have naked video of children. That should be a high priority for the police and something you should remind them of.
Might be one of your neighbors.
I live in a small suburb outside of a major city. Police like to do police work and will probably figure it out. Follow up with them and ask for updates. Sometime people from the city come to our town in the middle of the night snd go thru peoples cars when they are sleeping. 90% of the time, our police figure out who, track them down and arrest them. Low crime area so it gives them something to do and they are real good at small crimes.
You need to make sure you have a couple firearms for protection. Recommend a shotgun, a handgun and potentially a rifle. That is beyond creepy.
Personally I’d be looking to hire a company to come out and do a full sweep of your house for any other potential gadgets you didn’t find. Sure the cops will investigate but no one investigates like the private sector. You’ll have fast thorough answers and likely way more in depth search than the cops. I don’t even want to say it but I’d be viewing this as someone who is potentially able to break in and cause harm. I would not take this lightly at all and I’d go to whatever extreme I need to to BE safe. Personally I’d be reinforcing my bedrooms doors with deadbolts facing the inside so no one can open your bedroom door if people are asleep and they’ve broken in. Seems like this is potentially the scouting phase for someone who may plan to take it to the next level. Reinforce your walls/doors and stay strapped with plenty ammo. Hit the gun range.
It’s super scary to think about… but also this is the same recommendation that I got from from my significant other. Shotgun for home defense, handgun for personal defense. Rifle may be less useful here but, the point stands. I’ve been around weapons my whole life, so I’m confident that I’d be able to use it if necessary.
I just don’t want to live in fear, and this has really stolen my peace of mind. After leaving an abusive marriage, I’ve always said my home is my safe space and I won’t allow anyone or anything in that’s going to take that from me. And of course, that happened anyway..
Unlikely, unless he found a rando on the internet to stop by the house… he’s several hundred miles away (thank god). It’s not outside the realm of possibilities but that’s not my immediate guess.
I also recommend hiring a private firm to do a sweep of your property to make sure there aren't additional cameras or audio devices hidden somewhere - especially because you have had a handful of different people on your property with full access. In southern California where services like this are super overpriced, it cost me 2000.00 to get it done after I realized someone had been following me on dog walks and sitting outside my home in 2 different cars. I felt nuts doing it but it gave me tremendous peace of mind.
ok don’t be mad at this comment but make sure you consider your significant other especially if they have access to your current cameras and could of been the one to move it away from the window…
Beyond a shadow of a doubt, it definitely was not my bf. I promise you, there’s no one more concerned for our safety than him (except for my mom), and the moment that I told him what was going on, if he could have dropped everything to come, he would have been here. Unfortunately in a medium distance relationship (not quite far enough to be considered long distance), he couldn’t just haul ass a couple hours each way out of nowhere.
Unfortunately there are bad ppl in this world. IMO my protection IS what gives me peace. I really hope this is just some creep. High % it’s just that… but why even risk it with children.
Please express this to the police and ask them what they think you should do to ensure your safety. If they don’t give you advice that seems reasonable please come back and ask us all again.
Some nutcase did this to make you feel unsafe. Some patriarchal men don't like that women are just going about their lives. They especially hate when women feel safe at night. Stay safe and talk to your neighbors.
Get the kind of motion floodlights that have cameras that you can watch on your phone. That's a 2-fer. You know immediately when someone steps in your yard at night, plus 24/7 you have have video notice when someone step into your yard.
And since you have an HOA, I'd make an appearance at the next HOA board and let them know you've called the police and that the camera person will be caught and prosecuted. That might be enough to end the problem, since it's very likely to be one of your neighbors.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
Put a camera up (hide it well) somewhere outside poining in front of that window, who ever put it up was likely planning to return to get the sd card back out.
Put up more cameras to give better coverage. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a nextdoor neighbor, think back if you had any weird exchanges or feelings with neighbors, or undue attention.
If it was cellular enabled and had a SIM card it should be traceable by the cops. They should be able to pull cell records.
An option to catch the predator. Buy a similar looking trail cam and put it back in the spot before perv notices. Potentially catch them checking on the cam and have other cameras pointed toward the trail cam.
So my camera just feeds to my phone thru an app, it has no SD card, it only works thru wifi, SO, with no card, I'm assuming the one in your tree works the same, wouldn't that narrow down the possibility of who it is, ask the police about it. You may have to do your own research on the model. So sorry hun, was your neighbor home when all of this went down
I’m not sure if they were home… it was a little after noon on Thursday when I filed the report. Usually I’m good about paying attention to what vehicles were parked on the street and stuff, but I was so flustered that I’m not sure that I was fully thinking straight.
Window film! Be aware that some are see-through at nighttime when the light is behind them. I was stunned to realise that the opaque window film that blocked us in the day was clear as a bell at nighttime.
If it’s possible, definitely get a real window covering like a blind to pull down.
FYI - I don't think you understand what copy-pasta means lol. You copy/pasted this from another post you made on a different sub, but a copy-pasta is like a parody of a silly comment that's reposted over and over, that's often slightly edited with each variation to be sillier & more ridiculous. (Just so you're aware! This is not a copy-pasta lol)
Walk your neighborhood and look for this type of camera pointing into others' homes. Likely more of them around. Take pictures, note address, and call the cops. Let the homeowners know as well.
If the camera did have a cellular plan the police should be able to track down the owner of the camera. The camera will have a unique number, and if police send a search warrant to the company that makes the camera, the company can tell who the account belongs to. If it’s not a cell cam then it’s more difficult, but if it didn’t have a SIM card in it then it’s probably cellular. If you saw the camera you will know because it would have an antenna of some sort on it. If the police don’t get the job done call a game warden, not joking game wardens deal with trail cameras all the time.
Honestly. Install a camera of your own pointed directly of that location now that the camera has been removed. Find out who comes looking for it
Once you know who it is ask a brother or male friend to handle it personally. It will be the most effective form of punishment they will receive.
First, I’m sorry for what you’re going through, no one should feel unsafe at their own home. This post gave me the chills while reading it and I can only imagine how you feel right now.
Second, if moving is not a possible situation, take precautions with your home. Buy film for all your bedroom windows and visible areas that might have you or your children. They know their camera is gone, they might try to find another way, and you can never be too careful.
Third, do your research, find your local sex offender list (there are available apps that’s show you where they live). You mentioned it seems targeted, make a list of the people close to you and think of the relationship with you/your kids. Do some people come over too often, have you noticed or had a weird feeling with any of them. I don’t recommend talking to the neighbors, but I would watch them and listen very carefully how and when they interact with you. Follow up with the police, make sure they see this as urgent! As for legal advice, I don’t really know much about that so I will leave that so someone else. I am a crime junkie and two hot takes listener and I have heard too many stories.
Add your own secret camera to where it is so you can get footage of who comes to pick it up. Add a discrete gps tracker to the camera so you can also see where they take it. Put it on the inside if it's small enough.
Once they come to get it you'll have video evidence of who they are and their GPS location where they take it.They're fucked. Lawyer up and get em.
Cops won't do anything unless you have proof of who they are and creep will do it to someone else.
If it’s a viable option for you i would consider getting a dog. They can be great form of comfort and security for single women (or people in general), mine isn’t really big enough to do a ton of damage but she sure as shit is loud enough to alert the whole neighbourhood if anyone so much as walks past the window. Can definitely be annoying but i also know no one is looking in our windows etc cause she’d freak.
I’ve got a dog… the only time I’ve really heard him bark was at adult males that were in the yard at the same time as him. If he’s in the house and someone’s outside, he minds his business. (Some guard dog he is 🙄🥲)
This is extremely concerning. Please stay aware of your surroundings. Especially when coming home and don't answer your door by opening it. I'm not sure if you are armed, but I would highly suggest it. When seconds count, cops will be there in minutes. Somebody is stalking you.
Secure your perimeters and get an alarm system plus cameras of your own. Consider getting a camera that looks out onto the street and not just at your property too. It’s a scary world OP, and creeps are everywhere. Moving really wouldn’t do anything because, you know, creeps are everywhere anyway
The camera was taken into evidence by the detective, I didn’t want to touch it so they could see exactly where it was. I looked at the picture I took of it and found what I think is the model on Amazon…if that’s it, it directly uploads to like a cloud server…
Yep…can confirm this is my biggest concern and the reason I’m so scared and angry. They’re more important than I ever will be and I’ll do anything to protect them.
How on earth is nobody is recommending having firearms? As a female it’s your number 1 equalizer. No bat, stick, knife or anything will suffice if a male breaks in. Maybe I’m going overboard but you really should be able to inflict lethal force if it’s just you and your kids.
Probably because many people don’t want guns in their homes. The odds of someone in the home accidentally (or not) harming themselves or others are, on average, higher than the weapon actually being used in self defense.
This isn’t an average case because there’s a clear threat involved, but you’re also assuming an escalation path that is a steep curve starting from a camera in a tree. That level of confrontation seems unlikely when the person who did this is clearly avoiding contact.
It’s creepy as hell and having a weapon to defend against someone like that isn’t unreasonable. But I also I think there are plenty of reasons why people aren’t jumping to that as the response.
I’m from a country in which owning firearms is very rare, but if I was in her position as a single mum, I would definitely be considering gun-ownership.
Invest in a security camera system. Try to find one that is less suspicious for that part so you have a chance to catch this person in the recorded act. Try to cover the tree from multiple angles on all 4 sides.
At worst is it’s a deterrent. At best you catch the creepy little bastard and have him arrested.
i don’t have any legal advice i know that there are a ton of people giving better advice in the comments but as a woman & mother who is extremely paranoid and can’t even imagine the amount of anxiety that u are going through the first thing i can possibly think of is to stay at a family member or a friends house for the time being while the investigation is going on. or have someone stay with u and ur children. i dont think that u should be alone or have to be alone while going through this, that is so unbelievably scary and i am so sorry that u are even having to deal with this.
also [this](https://a.co/d/3W8qsul) and like other people have said, an alarm on the door that sounds if the door opens
Just wait until the investigation ends. You already took the steps to protect yourself. Privacy and added security
It's frustrating, but trying to do something you may affect investigation.
You've gotten a lot of good advice on here. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry you're going through this. I caught a peeping Tom one time but didn't see the actual person and I was insanely uncomfortable in my house for a very long time. Like... Bought tons of curtains, walked the perimeter of the house, found how they were watching me, and kept a pistol by my side for longer than I'd like to admit. I lived alone and it was terrible.
This was like over 10 years ago so cameras and such weren't as accessible or affordable as they are now. I hope of all these comments, something they've suggested helps you to find peace. Your home should be your safe space.
Do you live in an apartment? If so, someone, perhaps, facilities or the landlord may have installed it. If you rent, I would suggest doing this one thing that my ex and I did over 35 years ago and before we purchased our home. Change your locks 🔒. We purchased our sets at the hardware store and installed them ourselves.
They are so easy that I was able to do it when my ex and I separated. He left the family but was coming back and taking shit and effing up my stuff while I was at work. So I nipped the shit in the bud by changing the locks. He couldn't say anything because it would let me know that he was coming into the home while I was at work.
In your case, if it is the landlord, management, or the landlord's handyman doing this, then they will try to regain entry without success. The best part is that they will not be able to say anything to you because they know that they should not have been entering into your premises without giving at least 24 hours notice for non emergency issues and definitely when you are not there. When you are ready to move out, just leave the keys or reinstall the original lock with their keys.
Last peace of advice, watch the handymen doing repairs in your home and definitely invest in getting hidden camera detectors to scan your home if you can not watch them. The detectors can be used when you stay in lodging other than your home. I got mine from Temu pretty cheap, and I like it. Good luck, OP.
All of the above. It’s criminal so you can press charges and I encourage you to no telling how many more there are for other women. It’s civil so you can sue for damages under a multitude of torts names of which may be state or country specific but 100% you have “damages”, both actual and punitive.
My first thought is printing a large photo of a giant hairy penis and putting it in that window facing out
I also suggest pointing discreet cameras everywhere so that you can catch whoever did this when they try to put their camera back up
I don't want to scare you... But you do have kids, bad (depending on the age) they shower in that same bathroom....
I would check the sex offenders in your area, and go to the police with the "they might have naked pictures of my kids", and when the police give you the permission, tell your neighbors... You might not be the only victim and most people don't pay attention to that kind of thing.
Cops won't do anything, so no need to worry about "messing up the investigation."
If you rent your house, it was likely your LL. Talking to your neighbors may yield some insight, but unfortunately, as the camera wasn't connected to a phone, you're unlikely to ever find the culprit.
Sorry to hear you've been the victim of a sex crime... unfortunately, nowhere is truly safe, but we can mostly pervert-proof the inside of our houses (if we own them).
Was it clear they were trying to get pics of you?
You mention having two young kids and if this is the shower they typically use then I would be extra worried.
Obviously you should search the registration to see if there are any sex offenders in your area.
Also, tell the cop about the window in case they are willing to dust for prints.
I would cover any other windows you or the kids are regularly in front of in case it is a neighbor who has a direct line of sight for other areas in the house.
Can you get the camera back? A proper geek could probably get more information from it. For all we know it’s still broadcasting to creep’s phone and can be traced. Would break chain of custody for a criminal case but maybe not a civil suit or a probation denial.
Heck, did they check for fingerprints? Creep would have to already be in the database but it’s worth a shot.
As far as I know, the detective took fingerprints from it… but I’ve debated emailing the detective asking for a picture of the serial number/MAC address. I don’t know how to do that stuff but I’m sure I can find someone that does..
This is scary situation but if your kids play out there it could be for the children. We lived in Florida as kids and a man walked up to our yard and asked my sister (10yrs) to jump on the trampoline so he could take pictures. She did and then came inside and told us. We were shocked! Turns out he was a sex offender. There were many near us there. Sounds like you’re on top of it but keep on the police.. a call a day asking for updates.
Well it's gone now, but if I found a random camera on my property in this fashion, I would burn it out with a strong laser and see who comes lookin'. Fill in the rest.
Leave it there but turn it off. Point your own camera at the place where the camera could be retrieved from and wait. Then you'll catch the person who put it there.
I feel the chances of catching the perpetrator would have been better leaving it in the tree and setting your own camera faced directly at it. With alerts to your device on motion sensors.
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Also: check your neighborhood sex offender records. It might be the first time he’s done this, but I doubt it.
Follow up with the cops CONSTANTLY. In person. Unless you're in a one-horse town where nothing ever happens, they will have more "serious" cases (to them). Someone is targeting you or your kids. You want them identified and stopped before they escalate further. * Did the cops ask you if any neighbors had cameras or if you had any idea who might have targeted you? * Do NOT be the nice girl and dismiss people's "weird" behavior. This is the safety of yo and your kids we're talking about. Tell the cops about any strange interactions you've had or that your kids might have mentioned. You know who they are. Trust yourself! * If the cops didn't ask you about neighbors who have cameras, tell them. * Tell the cops about anyone who did work in your house recently. Even if it's the "regular" service person. * You can buy door/window sensors that send alerts and/or alarms when the window/door is opened. * Check all your windows to make sure they lock securely. Including the windows on upper floors. * Get your own cameras, interior and exterior. * If they find out who did it, you can help put them in jail. So, the window is in your fenced backyard. Is it easily visible from the ground? Did it take a ladder or stool to reach unless someone is really tall? Or is it something you'd only really know about from the inside of the house? Is it obvious it is a bathroom window from the outside? Look, unfortunately what I'm getting at is it seems plausible that the person who did it knows the layout of the house. You have babysitters for the kiddos? Do they ever invite guests over while they're there? How long have you lived there? Maybe someone who knew the previous owners? I do not own a gun. If you choose to, get whatever permits are required where you live, make sure you know how to clean it, maintain it, and practice with it regularly. Including getting it out of the lock box hiding place and loading it. For my own self-defense in home, I keep my ice axe by my bed (used for hiking/mountaineering, it's carbon fiber, I can wield it effectively with one hand and it certainly takes chunks out of ice), and I like small CO2 fire extinguishers. You really should have extinguishers in every room in your home, and because they're a common household item, most people pay them no mind. Spray them in the face then swing it at their head. I also have gel pepper spray, but that's usually for when I'm out and about. You can take the girl out of Detroit, but you can't take the Detroit out of the girl. 😂 You totally don't need to answer the questions. Just giving you some things to think through while you do your safety planning and figure out what next steps you can take for your family's safety. If the kids want a dog and you already have a fenced in yard, heading to the local animal shelter could work in your favor if you can take on that responsibility.
This is phenomenal advice, thank you. As a certified people pleaser, I was “nice” when talking to the detective and didn’t dime out any neighbors, but there’s definitely one, maybe two, that teeter the line between neighborly and creepy that I should probably mention. The main one that I’m thinking of has never been inside my house, but he has helped with a bunch of external work when I’ve been outside fixing things or working on the lawn, etc. Nearly all of it he has done without me asking for help, and I’ve never been able to decide if he was doing it because he was just neighborly or if he was doing it because he finds me attractive…but I also don’t want to cause offense if he had nothing to do with it. (I hate myself for that way of thinking). He definitely zeroed in on me the first day I moved in to introduce himself, but there were several neighbors that kind of did that, so I thought maybe that was some small-town type of deal. The window is visible from the ground, but in order to see in, you’d have to be on a step stool/ladder and be squished in between this tree and my house. It’s a pretty tight squeeze. And of course, it was the ONLY window in my house without blinds/a covering. The detective needed to use my ladder to cut the camera down and he was a pretty tall dude. Now that I think about it though, my next door neighbor recently replaced the stretch of shared fence. It was him and some buddies that worked on it… I was totally fine with it (saved me several hundred dollars) but that did leave these people with unbridled access to my yard for a bit. My cameras didn’t pick them up walking to where my window is. But also, for some reason, my camera was adjusted out of its normal viewing angle when I pulled it up for the police to look at… like someone had moved it. Could just be a coincidence, but I don’t like it regardless. I don’t want to feel like a bother to the police and really only gave them like a 2-line statement, but I’ll shoot this guy an email and give him more. He told me to send over any suspicious camera footage if I find any, so I’m sure extra details will be helpful. Man this sucks.
Honey, you need to stop assuming that talking to the police is "being a bother." It's not. It's literally their job to listen to you and follow up on this shit. Your SAFETY is at risk. Which also means IT'S OK TO BE A FUCKING BOTHER. It's not just ok, it's appropriate. You SHOULD be freaking out about this. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO TAKE UP AS LITTLE SPACE AS POSSIBLE. YOU DESERVE TO BE HEARD AND TO BE PROTECTED. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for the people who love you. Be proactive. Be MEAN if you have to. Do whatever it takes to protect your family and don't let anyone in the fucking world make you feel like you should apologize for doing it.
Especially since we don’t even know where she was the target of the pervert. It could have been her children. I’d be bugging the police as much as needed to make sure my kids are safe.
>The main one that I’m thinking of has never been inside my house, but he has helped with a bunch of external work when I’ve been outside fixing things or working on the lawn, etc. Nearly all of it he has done without me asking for help... Read Gavin DeBecker's *The Gift of Fear*. He talks about men who target women through "forced teaming," e.g., "We'll get this yard in great shape." He's tested your boundaries and given himself a reason to be in your backyard if he's seen there. Absolutely say "no" to any other assistance from him. If he comes to your yard, ask him to leave: "I recently discovered a camera in the back yard aimed at my window so police advised me to not allow anyone else in the yard. So please go." And if he won't, or he argues, call the police.
That’s great advice. And in full sincerity, thank you for giving me words to use to set that boundary.
Just because he hasn't been in your home while you were living there, doesn't mean he hasn't ever been inside of it! He may have gone inside the home when the previous owners were there and know the whole layout of it well! If you haven't already, place a cam yourself, outside that window and facing the other direction. You might catch who it is when they come by to see why it's not working or if you found it and took it down. If you need a quickie, Wyze cams are cheap, super excellent, full color night vision. Amazon will have one at your doorstep by morning (I believe Home Depot and Walmart also sell them now)I use their V3 outside my home but if you need wireless they also make wireless ones. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
I actually wouldn’t say anything about the camera. I’d try to see if he’s looking for it.
You’re assuming it was someone spying on you, but it could have been targeting your kids. Time to go into protective momma mode and make a FUSS!
You have to both press the popo and the district attorney. It’s better if your statement is longer because the DA looks at it and will make assumptions. Call the DA if you want to further your cause.
None of what you are saying is a coincidence. This guy is dangerous. Tell the police everything you’ve written here, and include that your camera was moved. There might be fingerprints or something they can use. I’d get a lawyer to ensure they take you seriously. You also need to make sure the police know you have children so the person videotaping you could have video of your children.
Girl, wake up! Could it be any more obvious that your next door neighbor is the prime suspect here? You need to tell all of this to the detective NOW.
As for the gun part, if you get a hand gun YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE RANGE!!!! Hand guns are not like rifles. You only have 2 points of contact and learning to shoot farther than about 7 yards takes training. The gun isn't all that useful if the attacker has to be that close to you.
For sure, I was raised around weapons, have done time in the military, own them, and am no stranger to them. The range is actually a hobby for my bf and I. I’m pretty confident in my aim, but of course, under pressure, it’s a whole different ball game. Thats why I typically stand by the use of a shotgun for home defense. You’re way more likely to subdue an attacker when you basically just have to point the shotgun in the general direction and let the spread do the rest.
Oh thank god. I know too many people who get a handgun and don't know how to aim. Recipe for disaster especially with family in the house.
Shotguns don't spread at short range. You have to aim it just as well as you would any long gun
At home defense ranges, spread is virtually zero. Don’t miss
When you have little kids it's important to have a weapon that likely won't send projectiles through walls, in my opinion.
You'll regret fearing being a bother when the creep escalates and you're fearing for your life instead
Be a people displeaser you're being harassed and stalked
Can you not look back to see who could have adjusted the camera?
If only. My camera only goes back 30 days and the only recordings that I have in that time are a couple second clip of the neighbors working on the fence, of an empty backyard when my kids accidentally set off the alarm while letting the dog out, and of them jumping on the trampoline. I have since adjusted the camera angle and have increased the camera’s sensitivity setting… but doesn’t do much good in the past.
I agree with this! Follow up with pd. See if a patrol car can monitor your street. This person may be targeting more people than you. And this behavior could escalate. Do whatever you need to do to kept your kids and yourself safe. I hope they find this dirt bag immediately so you can have some peace of mind.
Your pick and fire extinguishers are great ideas!!…. In a women’s personal safety class they said if you are going to have a baseball bat in your car for self defense, make sure you have a glove too… for criminal defense purposes. You didn’t intentionally bring a bat bc you are sick of men trying to touch or intimidate you, it was just handy bc you have been thinking about finding a weekly pickup game :)
Thank you for suggesting fire extinguishers. I live in a country where it’s very difficult to get a gun or pepper spray, and we don’t have bears. I have been wondering what I could have on hand at home for added security. (I’m a climber too just not on ice!)
CO2 will stop them (cold). Sorry, I couldn't help myself! 😂 And you really should have them in every room. I'm a hiker/mountaineer, not a climber. 😊 An ice axe is a great tool even on regular trails, but the carbon fiber ones can be pricey. And non-carbon fiber can be heavier, harder to wield.
If they sell wasp spray in your country it can be a very good substitute for pepper spray and sprays from a further distance!!
An ice axe! Nice. I keep a wrecking bar next to the bed.
Get some unappealing pics of naked men and put them in the camera’s line of sight
Hahaha, this made me laugh out loud. I totally would if the cops didn’t take the camera.
If there’s ever a new camera, you can consider this a fun back up plan
But get a good security camera with night vision, before you put up the picture of grandpa on the toilet. Because if the person who puts up the camera comes to remove the picture, you'll be able to get them on film.
If you can, you should get multiple cameras (discrete) pointed where the trail cam was to try and catch the person coming back to put a new SD or to retrieve it. Hopefully they checked the cam for prints just in case any were left behind. Chances are the creep has a record. My wife picked up some super cheap cameras called Little Elf on Amazon. You can put memory cards in them too. They also have motion sensors on them that will alert your phone. Time stamp it and everything. Super good quality for the price point.
Yep, I have those. They are handy and the quality it pretty good.
We have a set from Mercury and my husband has 2 battery banks daisy chained so he can set one inside of our car (have our own NFH)
I would still follow up with neighbours, maybe I’m too in the mindset of the majority of people are not shit, but I would want to know if my neighbour was being spied on, because then I would be more vigilant as well.
I’ve debated posting to the HOA Facebook page. Maybe public shame will make them knock it off it it’s someone that lives here. “Hey neighbors, just FYI, I found this in the tree pointing into my shower. If you recognize this camera, you can retrieve it from the xyz-town PD. I’m sure they’d be interested in wtf it’s doing in my tree. If you don’t recognize this camera… might want to keep an eye out around your own house for sketchy stuff.” The only reason I’m not doing that (yet) is because one of my friends who is an investigator said that if this tips off the creeper, they may start destroying evidence.
Do not do this. This a crime and it’s a police investigation. Let the police decide if/when to talk to the neighbors. If you are specifically aware of a particular camera that would have captured this area of your yard, or ingress to your yard, make sure the assigned investigator is aware of those, but DO NOT simply blast this around the neighborhood.
Also—to second another commenter—yes, definitely follow up with the assigned regularly. Cops are busy and often prioritize their caseloads out of necessity, you have to be a squeaky wheel sometimes. Good luck.
Don't do that. You reported it to the police.
In addition to messing with the investigation, it may also give the person an ego boost. They get to see themselves discussed in a public forum with proof that they were powerful enough to upset you. Don’t give them that. I absolutely understand the desire to post about it though.
That too. I already feel targeted and I don’t want to put more of a target on my back, or make them angry and violent.
Don't listen to this person. Wait to hear back from the police. Listen to your friend who knows what they're talking about.
Don't. You'll be giving a heads-up to the creep.
The right cop might play along, but that’s a dangerous game.
She should've blue waffle pic'd it. The trauma
Hahahaha
😂
Or an animals bunghole
Put it or something that looks like it back and put a camera on it with a motion sensor and catch the sick fuck coming to retrieve it. If it didn't have an SD card in it and wasn't on they may need to come back to fix or retrieve it. When they do call the cops.
Smart. My first thought was that the cop shouldn’t have taken it down in the first place…
Aha! The cop did it.
Completely and totally disagree! This woman needs to be comfortable in her own home. Every time she goes to take a shower or thinks of her kids being in there she’s got to see that camera being pointed in her window.?? No fuck that!
Ha no I agree with that, of course it shouldn’t be filming. I was thinking they could have covered the camera lens covertly and then waited to see who came to retrieve it, while filming with another camera. When the camera is removed, the perpetrator can see that the camera is gone/ that they have been found out and won’t come. But I’m no cop so who knows.
I have lived as a single mother for almost two years and one night someone tried to come into my home. While I sat on the couch watching tv. I will never be the same I was before that night. That being said… you own? Get a dog! A nice big one that loves you and the kids more than an intruder. And (I hate to say it) do a concealed carry class and other gun handling courses and get yourself a firearm that you are comfortable with. Teach your kids to not tell people things like “it’s just mom and no dad!”… don’t tell people you’re a single mom. Take a self defense class. My local sheriffs office offers all the above classes and I have taken advantage of all of them. Except for the dog.. he came from the shelter 😉 It’s a scary world out there but mama… you gotta do whatcha gotta do. It’s not always the bear in your backyard.
Get in contact with a lawyer asap. Ask them every question you have listed and more.
What kind of attorney? 😅 I feel really stupid asking, but I wouldn’t know where to start. Just a random civil attorney?
Maybe ask your county DA's office for guidance. They are the people's lawyers, after all.
True they generally have victim/witness coordinaters.
Doubt any attorney would take your case without the police having identified a specific suspect. Who are you going to file a civil action against? Furthermore, do you have the disposable funds to pay for the attorney retainer, which can run anywhere from $1000 to $5000 just to begin? People easily say get a lawyer but lawyering is a business and they won't take cases that don't pay the bills.
They don’t have to take the case to offer advice. My favorite attorney once said, “I am a counselor at law”. Changed my world.
When you consult a lawyer they evaluate whether you have a viable claim, not give out free advice just for the sake of it. Pray tell, what free legal advice would you give to OP in this situation? An attorney that gives out free legal advice without having been retained and conducting his own investigation opens himself up to a potential malpractice claim if things go south.
They can also just provide advice.
So can the homeless drug addict on the street
I'd look for attorneys that are familiar with civil matters, more specifically restraining orders. Ask for a consultation and explain the situation so you can both determine if there is any legal action for you to take together. I'm so sorry this is happening.
You have plenty of time and it’s too soon to call a lawyer (besides the DA)
I’m not sure I didn’t know there was different lawyers. 😂 Any lawyer is better than none in that situation.
😭😭😭 did you think a criminal lawyer was gonna represent a divorced dad for his custody agreement? (this is light hearted i swear!! it made me giggle lmao!)
My ex stepdad insisted on using his company's criminal lawyer for his divorce. Did not work out well for him.
I just thought there was one craft of being a lawyer. I didn’t know there was different crafts of the law. But now that you mention it. I guess I have heard different ones mentioned in commercials. 😂
There are lawyers for different kind of field: small claims, civil court, financial, employment, criminal, commercial, automotive, corporate, Legal, divorce, family, and education. You specialize in something makes it easier for you fight in court rather than trying to shotgun it. Think of it like a shotgun and a sniper. You have better chance of winning with a sniper than with a shotgun.
The ones in the commercials don’t even practice… they’re advertising pimps. They broker the cases to other lawyers for referral fees.
My son is an artificial intelligence specialist lawyer. If I were to shoot someone that broke in my house I definitely wouldn't ask him to defend me if I were to be charged with anything. Innocent or perceived to not be. You need a bulldog.
LMAO! that’s so funny omg. i only know like 2 types i’m ngl, criminal and family. then ur average civil suit type lawyers not sure if they have some fancy schmancy name tho
Even a family practice lawyer will likely have experience with surveillance issues and if they don’t they will absolutely be able to refer you to someone. Please remember that attorneys counsel people all the time without filing lawsuits. They are counselors at law, literally.
A bear wouldn’t do this
I mean what is the detective doing? If he’s actually investigating, ask him if he’s asked neighbors rather than you asking & possibly messing it up. Watch your children carefully. You don’t know if they were aiming for you or your children.
Fingerprints on the outside of the window or on the frame?
All ex-creeps say to get a really good guard dog or two. Seriously, no one would've been able to get that close to your window if there were two vicious dogs patrolling the yard. Good luck and I'm sorry you and your children have to go through this.
Yep, when I was single, someone tried to break into my house while I was showering. My dog was downstairs and went crazy trying to get through the window at him. When I called the police, they confirmed there were recent break ins in my neighborhood, and they were increasing patrols, , but my dog was still bristled up in attack mode and they felt that no one was stupid enough to come near my house again. Good doggy got steak for supper.
Doesn't need to be a big dog, just needs to be a LOUD dog.
My golden was the sweetest dog on earth but he had a very intimidating bark! I always felt safer with him in the house.
I have bulldogs. They are more likely to beg an intruder for treats than bark at them. One will roll over and ask the intruder to rub her belly. The other will bring the intruder his favorite tug toy and ask the intruder to grab the other end.
vicious
That’s awful :( I don’t have any advice besides get a good security system and more cameras
Maybe cut some tree branches if you can
I would suggest putting your own cameras up around your house and in your yard. Motion activated lights would be helpful also. Alarms for windows and doors. Cameras in the house. Having a 360 view of outside, inside as well as alarms would help feeling more secure.
I have a doorbell, front and backyard camera right now. I got 2 more cameras for outside to give me a 360° view, two more for inside, glass break sensors, and window alarms being overnighted from my security company. I put a dowel rod in my kids windows to keep them from opening and also put the window film on their windows. I have no clue if this person is targeting me or if they’re targeting my kids (because they also bathe in that bathroom) but I’m not taking chances either way. The whole thing makes me so sick to my stomach.
You're doing everything right. How about access to your yard? Locks and alarms on gates? Sorry you're going through this. Hopefully prints will yield results. It doesn't sound like someone random. Sounds like someone who knows you, your family, layout of the house.
And that's a freakin shame that you should have to do all this.
Check somehow to see if it could have been the guys who installed your cameras (or alarms) since one camera was moved. You might have inadvertently told them why you need cameras or alarms in the first place.
Seems like an obvious suggestion, but put your own cameras up (in discreet locations) to monitor your yard and that tree in particular - though, unlikely they'll come back, now) Also, have a Crime Prevention cop come and check out your security, and get some kind of personal defense - unless/until the perp reveals themselves, be extra-vigilant. I don't think posting this to Facebook or what have you will help, and may hurt - talk to the detective and get their take. Sorry this happened to you.
I would go in hard on this... You mentioned you have kids.... this may not even be about you but someone trying to film your kids. You need to lean on the cops for action, let them know you have kids and check if there are predators in your area. Protect your kids and make sure those cops do too
I’d get a motion activated camera, and point it at the tree. Or put it in the tree pointing down. Or plant poison ivy with a good dose of fertilizer at the bottom. Or coat the tree with dog doo do. Or install some kind of a tripwire that triggers a flash camera. Or borrow a very angry cane corso—the kind that is quiet as a mouse until it’s too late. Or all of the above. I hope you catch the creep.
Let the police do their work. It s a felony with jail time and you can sue the people for damages if they have money. Also never ever have a window in a bathroom that isn't opaque or blinded with blinds always down. People are sick.
Don’t know why I assumed a tiny window that’s 7/8 feet in the air on the back of my house that’s shaded with trees would be fine… there’s an opaque window film now, so there’s no way to see in anymore. I feel like this is low priority to the police so I’m not expecting to hear anything soon, but it’s also a small town of ~20k people and super low crime rates…so they may be bored and end up surprising me.
> I feel like this is low priority to the police Remember that the person who did this may have naked video of children. That should be a high priority for the police and something you should remind them of.
I can't upvote this twice, so I'm leaving this here.
Keep contacting the police. Stay on top of it. Let them know it’s high priority to you.
Might be one of your neighbors. I live in a small suburb outside of a major city. Police like to do police work and will probably figure it out. Follow up with them and ask for updates. Sometime people from the city come to our town in the middle of the night snd go thru peoples cars when they are sleeping. 90% of the time, our police figure out who, track them down and arrest them. Low crime area so it gives them something to do and they are real good at small crimes.
I think it's good to let your neighbors know to be on the lookout, and in case this creep has been peeping on anyone else
Damn. That just makes me want to put up my own security cameras. That's so fucking sketchy.
Probably a neighbor. If you do ask neighbors, the one asking the most details about the investigation is probably the guy.
Buy the exact same trail camera and put it it where the old one was, put a surveillance camera up watching that camera to see who comes and gets it.
You need to make sure you have a couple firearms for protection. Recommend a shotgun, a handgun and potentially a rifle. That is beyond creepy. Personally I’d be looking to hire a company to come out and do a full sweep of your house for any other potential gadgets you didn’t find. Sure the cops will investigate but no one investigates like the private sector. You’ll have fast thorough answers and likely way more in depth search than the cops. I don’t even want to say it but I’d be viewing this as someone who is potentially able to break in and cause harm. I would not take this lightly at all and I’d go to whatever extreme I need to to BE safe. Personally I’d be reinforcing my bedrooms doors with deadbolts facing the inside so no one can open your bedroom door if people are asleep and they’ve broken in. Seems like this is potentially the scouting phase for someone who may plan to take it to the next level. Reinforce your walls/doors and stay strapped with plenty ammo. Hit the gun range.
It’s super scary to think about… but also this is the same recommendation that I got from from my significant other. Shotgun for home defense, handgun for personal defense. Rifle may be less useful here but, the point stands. I’ve been around weapons my whole life, so I’m confident that I’d be able to use it if necessary. I just don’t want to live in fear, and this has really stolen my peace of mind. After leaving an abusive marriage, I’ve always said my home is my safe space and I won’t allow anyone or anything in that’s going to take that from me. And of course, that happened anyway..
Is it possible your abusive ex could have set up the camera?
Unlikely, unless he found a rando on the internet to stop by the house… he’s several hundred miles away (thank god). It’s not outside the realm of possibilities but that’s not my immediate guess.
I also recommend hiring a private firm to do a sweep of your property to make sure there aren't additional cameras or audio devices hidden somewhere - especially because you have had a handful of different people on your property with full access. In southern California where services like this are super overpriced, it cost me 2000.00 to get it done after I realized someone had been following me on dog walks and sitting outside my home in 2 different cars. I felt nuts doing it but it gave me tremendous peace of mind.
ok don’t be mad at this comment but make sure you consider your significant other especially if they have access to your current cameras and could of been the one to move it away from the window…
Beyond a shadow of a doubt, it definitely was not my bf. I promise you, there’s no one more concerned for our safety than him (except for my mom), and the moment that I told him what was going on, if he could have dropped everything to come, he would have been here. Unfortunately in a medium distance relationship (not quite far enough to be considered long distance), he couldn’t just haul ass a couple hours each way out of nowhere.
this is good info. i hope i didn’t offend you. i just needed to bring up this possibility. i am worried for you op and I hope you stay safe!
Unfortunately there are bad ppl in this world. IMO my protection IS what gives me peace. I really hope this is just some creep. High % it’s just that… but why even risk it with children.
I feel like people in this thread are wayyyy chiller than I would be. This is some real serial killer shit
I feel super freaking paranoid now, like crazy on edge. Probably doesn’t help that I’m barely able to sleep…
Please express this to the police and ask them what they think you should do to ensure your safety. If they don’t give you advice that seems reasonable please come back and ask us all again.
I'm not sure you should confront your neighbors. This whole situation makes all of your neighbors suspects imo
Some nutcase did this to make you feel unsafe. Some patriarchal men don't like that women are just going about their lives. They especially hate when women feel safe at night. Stay safe and talk to your neighbors.
Get the kind of motion floodlights that have cameras that you can watch on your phone. That's a 2-fer. You know immediately when someone steps in your yard at night, plus 24/7 you have have video notice when someone step into your yard. And since you have an HOA, I'd make an appearance at the next HOA board and let them know you've called the police and that the camera person will be caught and prosecuted. That might be enough to end the problem, since it's very likely to be one of your neighbors. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Put a camera up (hide it well) somewhere outside poining in front of that window, who ever put it up was likely planning to return to get the sd card back out.
There was no SD card.
Put up more cameras to give better coverage. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a nextdoor neighbor, think back if you had any weird exchanges or feelings with neighbors, or undue attention.
Remake the steamy window scene off of Titanic but use chocolate on your fingers to make it look like you're smearing poo 💩
Get some type of home security system , one with cameras facing away from your house.
If it was cellular enabled and had a SIM card it should be traceable by the cops. They should be able to pull cell records. An option to catch the predator. Buy a similar looking trail cam and put it back in the spot before perv notices. Potentially catch them checking on the cam and have other cameras pointed toward the trail cam.
So my camera just feeds to my phone thru an app, it has no SD card, it only works thru wifi, SO, with no card, I'm assuming the one in your tree works the same, wouldn't that narrow down the possibility of who it is, ask the police about it. You may have to do your own research on the model. So sorry hun, was your neighbor home when all of this went down
I’m not sure if they were home… it was a little after noon on Thursday when I filed the report. Usually I’m good about paying attention to what vehicles were parked on the street and stuff, but I was so flustered that I’m not sure that I was fully thinking straight.
Window film! Be aware that some are see-through at nighttime when the light is behind them. I was stunned to realise that the opaque window film that blocked us in the day was clear as a bell at nighttime. If it’s possible, definitely get a real window covering like a blind to pull down.
Seems to me if the camera is cellular connected that someone is (or was) paying the bill. Just a thought.
FYI - I don't think you understand what copy-pasta means lol. You copy/pasted this from another post you made on a different sub, but a copy-pasta is like a parody of a silly comment that's reposted over and over, that's often slightly edited with each variation to be sillier & more ridiculous. (Just so you're aware! This is not a copy-pasta lol)
Walk your neighborhood and look for this type of camera pointing into others' homes. Likely more of them around. Take pictures, note address, and call the cops. Let the homeowners know as well.
Don't do this alone. Do it with your dad or brother or 2-3 friends.
If the camera did have a cellular plan the police should be able to track down the owner of the camera. The camera will have a unique number, and if police send a search warrant to the company that makes the camera, the company can tell who the account belongs to. If it’s not a cell cam then it’s more difficult, but if it didn’t have a SIM card in it then it’s probably cellular. If you saw the camera you will know because it would have an antenna of some sort on it. If the police don’t get the job done call a game warden, not joking game wardens deal with trail cameras all the time.
Honestly. Install a camera of your own pointed directly of that location now that the camera has been removed. Find out who comes looking for it Once you know who it is ask a brother or male friend to handle it personally. It will be the most effective form of punishment they will receive.
I love my brother, but he’s not trying to catch a felony for me 😂
First, I’m sorry for what you’re going through, no one should feel unsafe at their own home. This post gave me the chills while reading it and I can only imagine how you feel right now. Second, if moving is not a possible situation, take precautions with your home. Buy film for all your bedroom windows and visible areas that might have you or your children. They know their camera is gone, they might try to find another way, and you can never be too careful. Third, do your research, find your local sex offender list (there are available apps that’s show you where they live). You mentioned it seems targeted, make a list of the people close to you and think of the relationship with you/your kids. Do some people come over too often, have you noticed or had a weird feeling with any of them. I don’t recommend talking to the neighbors, but I would watch them and listen very carefully how and when they interact with you. Follow up with the police, make sure they see this as urgent! As for legal advice, I don’t really know much about that so I will leave that so someone else. I am a crime junkie and two hot takes listener and I have heard too many stories.
Add your own secret camera to where it is so you can get footage of who comes to pick it up. Add a discrete gps tracker to the camera so you can also see where they take it. Put it on the inside if it's small enough. Once they come to get it you'll have video evidence of who they are and their GPS location where they take it.They're fucked. Lawyer up and get em. Cops won't do anything unless you have proof of who they are and creep will do it to someone else.
Should of covered the lens with some dirt and wait for the perv to go clean it
If it’s a viable option for you i would consider getting a dog. They can be great form of comfort and security for single women (or people in general), mine isn’t really big enough to do a ton of damage but she sure as shit is loud enough to alert the whole neighbourhood if anyone so much as walks past the window. Can definitely be annoying but i also know no one is looking in our windows etc cause she’d freak.
I’ve got a dog… the only time I’ve really heard him bark was at adult males that were in the yard at the same time as him. If he’s in the house and someone’s outside, he minds his business. (Some guard dog he is 🙄🥲)
High power laser. Fuck em.
This is extremely concerning. Please stay aware of your surroundings. Especially when coming home and don't answer your door by opening it. I'm not sure if you are armed, but I would highly suggest it. When seconds count, cops will be there in minutes. Somebody is stalking you.
Secure your perimeters and get an alarm system plus cameras of your own. Consider getting a camera that looks out onto the street and not just at your property too. It’s a scary world OP, and creeps are everywhere. Moving really wouldn’t do anything because, you know, creeps are everywhere anyway
Some trail cams have a removable SD card. Can you take it down and look?
The camera was taken into evidence by the detective, I didn’t want to touch it so they could see exactly where it was. I looked at the picture I took of it and found what I think is the model on Amazon…if that’s it, it directly uploads to like a cloud server…
Gotcha. I hope they can find the bad guy. This is deeply unsettling.
Not to alarm you further, but do your kids use this bathroom/shower too?
Yep…can confirm this is my biggest concern and the reason I’m so scared and angry. They’re more important than I ever will be and I’ll do anything to protect them.
How on earth is nobody is recommending having firearms? As a female it’s your number 1 equalizer. No bat, stick, knife or anything will suffice if a male breaks in. Maybe I’m going overboard but you really should be able to inflict lethal force if it’s just you and your kids.
Probably because many people don’t want guns in their homes. The odds of someone in the home accidentally (or not) harming themselves or others are, on average, higher than the weapon actually being used in self defense. This isn’t an average case because there’s a clear threat involved, but you’re also assuming an escalation path that is a steep curve starting from a camera in a tree. That level of confrontation seems unlikely when the person who did this is clearly avoiding contact. It’s creepy as hell and having a weapon to defend against someone like that isn’t unreasonable. But I also I think there are plenty of reasons why people aren’t jumping to that as the response.
I’m from a country in which owning firearms is very rare, but if I was in her position as a single mum, I would definitely be considering gun-ownership.
Exactly 🙄 I live in the south and every woman on living on her own has a few guns. I sleep well at night.
Invest in a security camera system. Try to find one that is less suspicious for that part so you have a chance to catch this person in the recorded act. Try to cover the tree from multiple angles on all 4 sides. At worst is it’s a deterrent. At best you catch the creepy little bastard and have him arrested.
i don’t have any legal advice i know that there are a ton of people giving better advice in the comments but as a woman & mother who is extremely paranoid and can’t even imagine the amount of anxiety that u are going through the first thing i can possibly think of is to stay at a family member or a friends house for the time being while the investigation is going on. or have someone stay with u and ur children. i dont think that u should be alone or have to be alone while going through this, that is so unbelievably scary and i am so sorry that u are even having to deal with this. also [this](https://a.co/d/3W8qsul) and like other people have said, an alarm on the door that sounds if the door opens
Get your own cameras and beef up your personal security.
You already did what you’re supposed to do called the cops.
Do you have a dog? That would be my first step. Although it’s not guaranteed protection, it’s definitely a deterrent.
Just wait until the investigation ends. You already took the steps to protect yourself. Privacy and added security It's frustrating, but trying to do something you may affect investigation.
You've gotten a lot of good advice on here. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry you're going through this. I caught a peeping Tom one time but didn't see the actual person and I was insanely uncomfortable in my house for a very long time. Like... Bought tons of curtains, walked the perimeter of the house, found how they were watching me, and kept a pistol by my side for longer than I'd like to admit. I lived alone and it was terrible. This was like over 10 years ago so cameras and such weren't as accessible or affordable as they are now. I hope of all these comments, something they've suggested helps you to find peace. Your home should be your safe space.
Do you live in an apartment? If so, someone, perhaps, facilities or the landlord may have installed it. If you rent, I would suggest doing this one thing that my ex and I did over 35 years ago and before we purchased our home. Change your locks 🔒. We purchased our sets at the hardware store and installed them ourselves. They are so easy that I was able to do it when my ex and I separated. He left the family but was coming back and taking shit and effing up my stuff while I was at work. So I nipped the shit in the bud by changing the locks. He couldn't say anything because it would let me know that he was coming into the home while I was at work. In your case, if it is the landlord, management, or the landlord's handyman doing this, then they will try to regain entry without success. The best part is that they will not be able to say anything to you because they know that they should not have been entering into your premises without giving at least 24 hours notice for non emergency issues and definitely when you are not there. When you are ready to move out, just leave the keys or reinstall the original lock with their keys. Last peace of advice, watch the handymen doing repairs in your home and definitely invest in getting hidden camera detectors to scan your home if you can not watch them. The detectors can be used when you stay in lodging other than your home. I got mine from Temu pretty cheap, and I like it. Good luck, OP.
Updateme please
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All of the above. It’s criminal so you can press charges and I encourage you to no telling how many more there are for other women. It’s civil so you can sue for damages under a multitude of torts names of which may be state or country specific but 100% you have “damages”, both actual and punitive.
My first thought is printing a large photo of a giant hairy penis and putting it in that window facing out I also suggest pointing discreet cameras everywhere so that you can catch whoever did this when they try to put their camera back up
Is your ex husband near?
Probably one of your neighbors husbands that’s a creep
I don't want to scare you... But you do have kids, bad (depending on the age) they shower in that same bathroom.... I would check the sex offenders in your area, and go to the police with the "they might have naked pictures of my kids", and when the police give you the permission, tell your neighbors... You might not be the only victim and most people don't pay attention to that kind of thing.
Cops won't do anything, so no need to worry about "messing up the investigation." If you rent your house, it was likely your LL. Talking to your neighbors may yield some insight, but unfortunately, as the camera wasn't connected to a phone, you're unlikely to ever find the culprit. Sorry to hear you've been the victim of a sex crime... unfortunately, nowhere is truly safe, but we can mostly pervert-proof the inside of our houses (if we own them).
Don't worry about causing a stir. You did not start this. Neighbours need to know there is a creep wandering around. They can help you.
Put lots of cameras up ensuring that there are no blind spots and get on with your life
Get a Curtain? Get some Plants?
Shoot it with a paintball gun
Close the blinds.
Alarm, big protective dog with a doggie door. If the guy comes back the dog will get him.
Get a gun and keep it in a safe in a place you can get to it the fastest. Better than waiting 10 minutes for a guy to show up with one
Put your own surveillance/security system in place, maybe you'll catch the person on video yourself.
Was it clear they were trying to get pics of you? You mention having two young kids and if this is the shower they typically use then I would be extra worried. Obviously you should search the registration to see if there are any sex offenders in your area. Also, tell the cop about the window in case they are willing to dust for prints. I would cover any other windows you or the kids are regularly in front of in case it is a neighbor who has a direct line of sight for other areas in the house.
Put the camera back and put a camera on the camera.
Wasp spray is a good deterrent to keep by bed.
what if you put the camera back (or a camera similar) and put a gps tracker in it….
Can you get the camera back? A proper geek could probably get more information from it. For all we know it’s still broadcasting to creep’s phone and can be traced. Would break chain of custody for a criminal case but maybe not a civil suit or a probation denial. Heck, did they check for fingerprints? Creep would have to already be in the database but it’s worth a shot.
As far as I know, the detective took fingerprints from it… but I’ve debated emailing the detective asking for a picture of the serial number/MAC address. I don’t know how to do that stuff but I’m sure I can find someone that does..
This is scary situation but if your kids play out there it could be for the children. We lived in Florida as kids and a man walked up to our yard and asked my sister (10yrs) to jump on the trampoline so he could take pictures. She did and then came inside and told us. We were shocked! Turns out he was a sex offender. There were many near us there. Sounds like you’re on top of it but keep on the police.. a call a day asking for updates.
Get a gun
It’s obviously your neighbor
You need to talk to your neighbors and buy a weapon to protect your home.
Well it's gone now, but if I found a random camera on my property in this fashion, I would burn it out with a strong laser and see who comes lookin'. Fill in the rest.
Leave it there but turn it off. Point your own camera at the place where the camera could be retrieved from and wait. Then you'll catch the person who put it there.
I feel the chances of catching the perpetrator would have been better leaving it in the tree and setting your own camera faced directly at it. With alerts to your device on motion sensors.