If you are at all interested in a long-term, committed relationship with someone with a child, just know that at some point you will NOT be ‘child-free’.
Things happen, and you may end up being a de facto parent. If it’s your intent to remain child-free, get out know before feelings are hurt.
Unless your ok with being a step parent I don’t see this relationship working long term. The longer you are together the more push there will be for you to help parent. If I were you I would keep this casual only or break up before the inevitable happens.
I never have, and I wouldn’t. The whole point of being childfree is to live your life free of the burdens that come with children.
If you wound up in a serious relationship with someone who has a kid in the home, then you give up that freedom to basically become a parent, except you don’t even have any rights in the situation, and unless they had some tragic premature death, the other parent is a permanent third wheel in your relationship. Your partner will never be completely yours, the kid will always come before you, and there will always be a baby mama in the background.
What’s the point of being childfree if you’re just going to wind up taking care of someone else’s kid while under social duress? You’re not childfree if you’re taking care of someone’s kid.
Most of us choose this lifestyle because we value our freedom and have other goals, and we don’t want our lives to revolve around kids. If you get in a relationship with a parent, your life will revolve around their kid. That’s how it is. And besides that, I want someone who has as much effort and attention to offer me as I can offer them. A parent can’t do that. Dating a parent is a bum deal for a childfree person. You’ll never get back as much as you put in.
If it were me, I’d break it off before either of us get too emotionally invested.
I would consider the type of lifestyle you want going forward. 7 is quite young. Think of all the birthdays, christmases, spring breaks, and summer vacations yet to come. Do you see yourself being a part of these events? Having to accommodate your schedule to accommodate the child’s? If your potential partner is a very involved parent, his schedule will largely be determined by these and other events. I am a mom of a young child, and for me, I wouldn’t feel comfortable having any romantic partner meet my child for a very long time, so please also don’t feel rushed to meet the child if you proceed.
I don’t recommend it. Every guy I dated who had kids introduced me to them way way way too soon and then some “dates” weren’t dates. It was us and the kids hanging out. Or he’d bring them without running it by me.
I think 7 is a great age, they are more independent than a baby or toddler but still in the playful kid stage. I met my partner's son at 6. I enjoy having a relationship with his son and we live together with his son here every other week. We took it slow, and it was partly because of the kid. For about a year we really only saw each other when he was without his kid. It's a challenge some times, as all kids are. My partner is a great parent and he is very involved in his child's life. I have a lot of boundaries for myself and how involved I'm willing to be, and my partner respects that. Dating a parent they are a packaged deal with the kid. We started to go on kid dates and just spend more time together so I built a relationship with the son too and now I love them and consider them family.
I personally wouldn't date a parent unless their kids were grown and out of the house. With underage kids you'll eventually have to develop a relationship with them and they'll be part of the dynamic.
My partner was completely clear with me at the start of our relationship that I could make the type of relationship I wanted with his children. That if I felt comfortable helping out with things (making lunches, getting them dressed, changing diapers) that I was more than welcome, but if I didn’t feel comfortable he wouldn’t be upset and would take care of it. He also made it clear that if the kids ended up being a dealbreaker then he wouldn’t be mad at me.
I ended up loving the children, and being a step-parent just sort of worked. I’m happy with my partner and his children. He still takes care of the majority of things, but I help where I can. Even though I never plan on having my own (getting my tubes removed in a month!) I can’t really call myself child-free anymore.
We’ve been together for over 5 years and still have a wonderful relationship. This isn’t to say all single fathers are great men, but I think I found a great one. 💜
My partner now is kid free and no ex . I use to think it was a red flag. Apparently it’s a green one for me. It’s us two, only. We do whatever we want when we want.
If you are at all interested in a long-term, committed relationship with someone with a child, just know that at some point you will NOT be ‘child-free’. Things happen, and you may end up being a de facto parent. If it’s your intent to remain child-free, get out know before feelings are hurt.
It isn't going to be possible to separate parenting from partner unless things remain really loosely coupled.
Unless your ok with being a step parent I don’t see this relationship working long term. The longer you are together the more push there will be for you to help parent. If I were you I would keep this casual only or break up before the inevitable happens.
If you want to remain truly childfree, it's not smart to date someone with a child.
I never have, and I wouldn’t. The whole point of being childfree is to live your life free of the burdens that come with children. If you wound up in a serious relationship with someone who has a kid in the home, then you give up that freedom to basically become a parent, except you don’t even have any rights in the situation, and unless they had some tragic premature death, the other parent is a permanent third wheel in your relationship. Your partner will never be completely yours, the kid will always come before you, and there will always be a baby mama in the background. What’s the point of being childfree if you’re just going to wind up taking care of someone else’s kid while under social duress? You’re not childfree if you’re taking care of someone’s kid. Most of us choose this lifestyle because we value our freedom and have other goals, and we don’t want our lives to revolve around kids. If you get in a relationship with a parent, your life will revolve around their kid. That’s how it is. And besides that, I want someone who has as much effort and attention to offer me as I can offer them. A parent can’t do that. Dating a parent is a bum deal for a childfree person. You’ll never get back as much as you put in. If it were me, I’d break it off before either of us get too emotionally invested.
You're gonna be a mom.
I would consider the type of lifestyle you want going forward. 7 is quite young. Think of all the birthdays, christmases, spring breaks, and summer vacations yet to come. Do you see yourself being a part of these events? Having to accommodate your schedule to accommodate the child’s? If your potential partner is a very involved parent, his schedule will largely be determined by these and other events. I am a mom of a young child, and for me, I wouldn’t feel comfortable having any romantic partner meet my child for a very long time, so please also don’t feel rushed to meet the child if you proceed.
I don’t recommend it. Every guy I dated who had kids introduced me to them way way way too soon and then some “dates” weren’t dates. It was us and the kids hanging out. Or he’d bring them without running it by me.
I think 7 is a great age, they are more independent than a baby or toddler but still in the playful kid stage. I met my partner's son at 6. I enjoy having a relationship with his son and we live together with his son here every other week. We took it slow, and it was partly because of the kid. For about a year we really only saw each other when he was without his kid. It's a challenge some times, as all kids are. My partner is a great parent and he is very involved in his child's life. I have a lot of boundaries for myself and how involved I'm willing to be, and my partner respects that. Dating a parent they are a packaged deal with the kid. We started to go on kid dates and just spend more time together so I built a relationship with the son too and now I love them and consider them family.
I personally wouldn't date a parent unless their kids were grown and out of the house. With underage kids you'll eventually have to develop a relationship with them and they'll be part of the dynamic.
My partner was completely clear with me at the start of our relationship that I could make the type of relationship I wanted with his children. That if I felt comfortable helping out with things (making lunches, getting them dressed, changing diapers) that I was more than welcome, but if I didn’t feel comfortable he wouldn’t be upset and would take care of it. He also made it clear that if the kids ended up being a dealbreaker then he wouldn’t be mad at me. I ended up loving the children, and being a step-parent just sort of worked. I’m happy with my partner and his children. He still takes care of the majority of things, but I help where I can. Even though I never plan on having my own (getting my tubes removed in a month!) I can’t really call myself child-free anymore. We’ve been together for over 5 years and still have a wonderful relationship. This isn’t to say all single fathers are great men, but I think I found a great one. 💜
My partner now is kid free and no ex . I use to think it was a red flag. Apparently it’s a green one for me. It’s us two, only. We do whatever we want when we want.