T O P

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hamsterruizeISback

Man nothing can go wrong with healing from blood HIV: https://i.redd.it/seyxwcqtud1d1.gif


Pick-Equal

Just get more blood and cure your HIV duh...


hamsterruizeISback

But you’ll maybe get HIV ²


Pick-Equal

JUST👏GET👏MORE👏BLOOD👏


AEther_AEternum

HIV³


Potato_lovr

*deep breath* #JUST. GET. MORE. BLOOD.


AEther_AEternum

Nuh uh, we contracting all the STDs with this one. 😭


Potato_lovr

I say nuh uh to your nuh uh


AEther_AEternum

https://preview.redd.it/qdh6iaql1e1d1.jpeg?width=225&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ab1a7075b18191407b457a2db0e91311ebd7570


Potato_lovr

https://preview.redd.it/x0ebm16r1e1d1.jpeg?width=255&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c6d41e10d819339b45ad4b96060f818b3161663c


frandaboss2005

https://preview.redd.it/ckewvltr8f1d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=67e738102fd1073505204faf5259164867f9613d


UnboltedCheese

It's like Pokémon, gotta catch them all!


Darth-Yslink

Breaking news: Ultrakill players discover gambling


Familiar_Location948

Trepang^2


Ratioandyoufell

MAN OF CULTURE I SEE https://preview.redd.it/yv9hhur95l1d1.jpeg?width=821&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d3de7e89753375fd5d9e2f0898c728df16c7beda


Ill_Maintenance8134

https://preview.redd.it/7o95kqgnfe1d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=684ade7eb980bbe4163b7f1cdc04e0ba8aab0a3a


hamsterruizeISback

https://preview.redd.it/1admpwmtfe1d1.jpeg?width=694&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f2844d99eefb59f426e7d735fa3bcce82da07d48


MarkDavidson69

https://preview.redd.it/dq87byh8ge1d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fda0b275c5639d6ca79a75efbaeff261cb0006b3


Ill_Maintenance8134

https://preview.redd.it/4isejkehge1d1.jpeg?width=995&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f5f6479acaabde377ed7d6951d3c17c6b84612cb


MarkDavidson69

you FUCKED it up


Ill_Maintenance8134

https://preview.redd.it/e7a1rkdpqe1d1.jpeg?width=270&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7621c8d8b6021a2a40ded8d6047c9db9c2a6373b


YourLocalInquisitor

https://preview.redd.it/q54du0mm3f1d1.png?width=1284&format=png&auto=webp&s=865eed79ffa9e1f368baf69063bd16ba039b8978


Ddayknight90001

https://preview.redd.it/cku5lheo6g1d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1be8ca26906bb000eedcef0ff6cc70cd270699e7 You done goofed up lil bro.


Scrib_Scrab_

https://i.redd.it/gis1wr27nh1d1.gif


Few_Acanthaceae1568

"if V1 had sex with a girl on her period would he gain HP?'' -being


Low-Wolverine-683

Aren't you the guy that draws deepwoken women?


hamsterruizeISback

No I draw gay furry femboy porn


ChocolateShot150

Your bio says otherwise


Winter_Caregiver_752

Don't lie to us you don't draw porn


Low-Wolverine-683

My bad bro


HeavensTribulation

You just need to uses parrot blood But you'll get PIV


VortexTalon

Guys whats HIV


Tiny_Net_1232

THE FUCKING REPLIES. I CANT. HOLY FUCK.


Aanimeweeaboo

who said blood infusions?


maxMificius

Queue the plot of Bloodborne


StraightPierce

If I heal from blood and my body naturally generates blood does that mean Immortality?


IDGAFABOUTREDDIT-

Since V1 heals from contact with blood, does that mean that whenever you bleed, it automatically heals?


Theratsmacker2

Wouldn’t it have to be something else’s blood?


Weekly_Town_2076

Well I saw something about blood being the power source because of its metaphorical life giving power, so I assume blood from anyone, even yourself, will suffice. (I've never played ultrakill)


Aggressive_Size69

but V1 bleeds when taking damage and in that moment doesn't get healed


thedonkalonk

i think he bleeds necause he has others blood


Trytytk_a

It needs to be fresh blood. (Source: I pulled it from my ass but makes sense enough for me to believe it)


ThanxIH8It

The game does say "douse yourself in FRESH blood to heal" So I'm assuming it needs to be fresh


Ac3_HUNT3r

You're right man that's why V1 can't heal from dead bodies


ferrecool

But the game states it on gutterman description I think


Complex_Store_4689

In the terminal entry if the gutterman says that the coffin on the back actually contains a person who is put on "minimal life support" as stated in the entry so that their bodies keep producing blood. Blood fueled machines are also the inspirations if the mannequins in layer 7. Also I think it would be really funny if the gutterman would just die on its own if it was alive for like 10 minutes.


ferrecool

Nope, it's just that v1 is a machine and he doesn't generate blood nor stores it,


Plot665

Not true tho cuz its only usefull if its fresh so bleeding out wouldnt work plus the human body makes fresh blood so it technically can give immortality


IDGAFABOUTREDDIT-

But it doesn't give immortality, it only heals and very minimally since you said only fresh blood heals.


Plot665

That makes sense so i guess it would just be a quick heal whenever your getting injured instead of immortality


IDGAFABOUTREDDIT-

And depends on the injury, for example if you get a scratch it probably won't heal because the blood has been exposed to air and is not fresh anymore. I think the only wounds that would be healed would be the deeper wounds like internal bleedings and ruptured organs because the blood hasn't been exposed yet.


goofylookinfella

you heal by blood in ultrakill after the touches the air anyways, i dont think that part matters.


Shacolm

Yeah so basically you fine as long as you dont get crushed under water pressure instantly like a certain submarine


cat_tank1

*Dualshock controller disconnected*


Shacolm

Domain expansion: endless blue


AndroidWall4680

All blood in your body is fresh blood though. So you would constantly be healing.


InanisCarentiam

boy, i have some news about the human body youre gonna love


cool_name-idk1

hard damage:


StraightPierce

Nah I'd win


arcadeler

v1 also has blood


_BlueSleeper

I could think of so much utility for the whiplash, suddenly no shelf is too high. Infinite slides would be fun too.


Furisk-

You miss the item on the shelf with the whiplash and you slam into the wall


_BlueSleeper

Get good


Funnysoundboardguy

It’d just bounce off and come back to your hand


Mg07a

always accurate


jbrainbow

yeah but it grapples onto items by sticking a knife-type thing in them. if you grapple something, it’ll either break or not be grappled


_BlueSleeper

Ok so portable knife with extended reach, as if I'll pass on that!


rabiesscat

portable knife that isnt useful for knifing and does no damage


Anonpancake2123

It does a **tiny** amount of damage. Search "Sisyphus prime whiplash only"


rabiesscat

0.2 damage, conpared to the knuckleblaster thats 12.5 times less damage


Wrydfell

And yet, it's enough damage for a maniac to have beaten sisyphus prime with it


Anonpancake2123

I dunno man, I don't think a knife does as much damage as a sci fi electric gun that fires metal so fast it turns heads into chunky salsa or an arm that hits so hard it causes mechanically augmented souls of the damned to explode on contact.


Cuntsistent

But it can grapple onto books just fine?


Yoate

I mean if you stab a book you can pick it up with a knife


jefboi420

ultrakill dash and parry is kind of powerful in real life, because i-frames and considering V1 parries the corpse of king minos


Toxic_scientist

I personally don't see the value in a parry because how often do you get into fights💀(might be useful for sports though)


jefboi420

yeah good point, but you can punch a car approaching you at high speeds and give a massive dent on the hood and come out completely unscaved😁


KicktrapAndShit

Car launches backwards from a punch hitting 3 other cars and exploding


jefboi420

+ MULTIKILL x4 + EXPLODED + TRIPLE KILL + EXPLODED + DOUBLE KILL + EXPLODED + KILL + PARRY


Plot665

"Your honor, in my defense i was protecting myself" "You killed four people"


cat_tank1

Yea and


ultra_sabreman

Just parry the sentence lmao


Weedenheimer

+ACQUITTED


IvanSpartan

# +SENTENCED


Dark_Meme111110

+PLEA BARGAIN


Captain-Obvious69

-TROLLED +NOT GONNA SUGARCOAT IT


toaster_molester1862

https://preview.redd.it/laq2ct633g1d1.jpeg?width=220&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17ee4da7a47b4c26302fdc3707d00f88e5789840 this is how you parry a divorce


UntakenUntakenUser

Oh wait, is it from solo levelling?


UntakenUntakenUser

Who is that? Why are they getting punched?


btyes-

your honor, shut the fuck up you wasnt even there


OHitsaKO

Truly the ULTRAKILL experience


Due-Assist346

the cops come and they start shooting and you punch the bullets the millitary gets called and you punch the tank shells like no one can hurt you


KicktrapAndShit

Nukes sent you punch the nukes


Due-Assist346

it's all fun and games until they get a hitscan bullet


The_FreshSans

Mfw coi-


ThatOneCloaker

+FISTFULL OF DOLLAR


ferrecool

I don't think they have portable railguns yet, so he's safe


Killbornbloodbane

You can parry V2’s revolver shots even if they’re counted as projectiles in game. You just can’t punch your own hit scan weapons or rail canons from sentries.


Fatpoob

How else am I supposed to quickly rack up style points IRL?


mega_broo

+PARRY +EXPLODED


Ckn_Nuggets

Plus it instantly heals you to full hp


FailURGamer24

It's also an instant full heal and stamina regen, so whenever you're sick or tired just parry someone's punch and you'll be good as new.


Aggressive_Size69

parrying someones punch would probably break their arm so i'd just tell someone to throw a rock at me and then i could parry it away from them.


ReiVity

What if you throw a rock in the air and parry it when it comes down


Funnysoundboardguy

+FISTFUL OF GRAVEL


Little_Breakfast_503

Bro you cant just parry a nuke.


Ruvaakdein

[think again ](https://youtu.be/OoVV1WThyZ8)


Little_Breakfast_503

I need this. Is the game out yet?


Ruvaakdein

There's a demo but not fully out yet


ManiacalSeeker

Not if you’re fast enough


SleepingDemo

I do get often. And I'm often getting fucked up


-Stay_Hydrated-

Parying fully heals you so you can just tell somebody to throw something a you and you can get away with pretty much any injury


HandofAntioch

But what if the catch is that you *have* to parry it perfectly irl or suffer real-world damage? Timing parries is already hard enough in the game itself, imagine doing it with your own fists.


jefboi420

go big or go home (destroy your entire arm) 😎


SomeRedBoi

Let's see… Infinite slide - That's gonna hurt Heal from blood - Assuming you can heal any wound using ANY blood, this would be extremely strong. This means you are nearly immortal, able to recover from any injuries and any diseases Freezeframe - You can literally fly… Except this wouldn't work as well in real life for many reasons, I guess you can have a rocket launcher but… Why? Whiplash - You can grab objects from afar or pull yourself to bigger objects… And probably give yourself whiplash injuries, as the name implies. It can still be used to pull some objects but it'll probably damage it a lot in the process so Parry - You can blow most kinds of harmful objects away, but is there that much use to this in real life? Plus, bullets in real life aren't as slow as in ultrakill Walk on walls/ceilings - This one is pretty good. Probably won't be TOO useful in day-to-day applications but there are ways to make use of it Mindflayer GF - Yes Perfect accuracy - Perhaps the best one in this list, and doesn't need much of an explanation.


GuyDudeThing69

I mean, for slide, you could always use something like a shoulderpad to protect your bum


Mg07a

Besides the slide should only hurt when, say, in concrete, but in more smooth surfaces it's very good, I also assume you can BHop


Akyosks

it says perfect parry so I'd assume it has 100% success rate no matter the projectile.


DownDawn

Good luck trying to get the parry timing of a real bullet lol


ligmaboy6969

pick parry and always accurate together


wookiee-nutsack

Volatile ultra instinct


Untitledrentadot

Yes!!! This was my pick too! Another advantage of perfect parry is how it heals you so say you’ve got a stuffy nose, pick a fight with someone or have your homie swing on you, perfect parry it, and your nose is cleared! Also I guess that means you can heal more major injuries with perfect parry too


Tahmas836

Yeah but since parries make the projectile explode, you’ve just destroyed your house


Kadraptor

holy shit thats genius


CoolCreeper888

So you can accurately hit it but you still need the timing


Profanion

You can use freezeframe rocket launcher to easily cross bodies of water.


SomeRedBoi

However, assuming real world physics apply, you can not keep your balance on a rocket


wpycushion

bear hug it


Lux_325

Then you realize why it's a "Rocket" Propelled Grenade Ya getting roasted, literally


MissyTheTimeLady

Infinite slide doesn't hurt V1 no matter what surface they slide on. Given V1 can punch pure energy and take no damage from it, I assume they have some kind of energy shielding. It would also explain why their stamina doesn't recharge: the energy for invulnerable dashing is being diverted to eliminating the friction between V1 and the floor.


SomeRedBoi

However, we are not V1 with a body made of steel, but humans that can experience severe friction burns


MissyTheTimeLady

Steel can still be damaged if you run it over concrete.


wookiee-nutsack

Idk man, V1 is built different


Luftwagen

Mindflayer gf 😩


blindgobble

Perfect parry so I could parry all of my drunk dad attacks😎


Rikter0

What if they flash blue


blindgobble

Erm I didn't think this trough My end is now


RandomMetaOnReddit

Hey don’t give up yet! The Leviathan flashes blue but is able to be parried.


AlvoSil

I don't think their dad is a Leviathan tho


V1_ULTRAKILL-

Parry his balls. https://preview.redd.it/gtim10t57f1d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2762e1a15703ba4136e59f73e6bfa753789da7d9


Death_by_alttab

I can do it already


plzhelpme11111111111

minos and sisyphus' attacks can be parried and i highly doubt any normal human can even barely compare to those, blindgobble will be fine


AkOnReddit47

The blue is for the mental damage


coolwmodd

Whiplash + walking on walls and ceilings = spider-man


Kwarc100

Perfect parry + always accurate = always hit my parries no matter the skill issue ?


Successful_Carry_501

I assume *perfect* means your parry will always succeed regardless of your skill. ...which would make Always Accurate redundant.


welpthatskindabad

Perfect just means the execution is perfect, it says nothing about the aim. Like if bullets are coming to you from behind and you parry, it won't work as you are not facing them. It's kinda like every parry is frame perfect but parrying won't do anything if you don't aim right. That's where Always Accurate comes in.


Ower25

i think it's more like "someone throws a rock at me and if i parry it, it will hit the person that thrown a rock at me, instead of going in the other direction


Hah-Funny

Always accurate redundant mfers when i throw a rock:


Bolt-The-Protogen

But what about things that are faster than any human reaction time, like BULLETS? Always accurate would allow you to parry them


No_Monitor_3440

infinite slide for bhopping and parry


UvarenejKnedlik

Walking on walls/ceiling and mindflayer GF would be fun.


Thegodofthekufsa

Getting freaky


JustSomeGuy9384

Whiplash and parry, cuz I don’t find myself in contact with copious amounts of blood very often.


Headhunter192004

There‘s always blood under your skin


JustSomeGuy9384

V1 has blood running throughout its systems most likely, yet that doesn't heal it.


Headhunter192004

I think that‘s just a lack of imagination on v1‘s part All kidding aside, maybe it just doesn’t want to waste fuel when it‘s surrounded by so many more fresh sources


ChocolateShot150

V1 has OTHERS blood though, and it has to be fresh blood. The human body constantly creates fresh blood


TheTurd125

having a gf is an ability few have mastered


Alien-Fox-4

very few have a gf but even fewer have a gf that can teleport


SuperSonic486

Walk on walls and ceilings is easily the best allround choice here. Nothing will ever stop you going anywhere again, except things that attack you. Perfect parry and invulnerable dash require great timing, but theyre both great choices. I personally think invulnerable dash is better because of the mobility it grants you, especially if it also comes with the anti-gravity kinda thing that it has ingame. If all of these function exactly like in the game, just adjusted to your physical limitations, then id pick walls and ceiling climbing and dashes.


Shadowtheidiot06

Mindflayer gf (obviously) and mannequin manouver (for way cooler ways of getting around)


crz4r

Perfect parry + heal from blood and become a boxer Who cares that your technique is trash when nobody can hit you?


ChemicalLiterature44

this is literally the combo, I'd just run into incoming traffic and try to parry the car. if I succeed then it'll be funny as, and if I don't I'll just like get a blood donor or smth


QuakeRanger

Walk on walls/ceilings and accuracy. Step 1. Join the army. Step 2. Get deployed to the sandbox. Step 3. Win.


XPLover2768top

either 3 and 5 or 4 and 9


ShyKiddo__

Walk on walls and ceiling is a no brainer, the amount of those in the world is crazy, and always accurate would be funny


Complex_Store_4689

What do you do if someone made a building made entirely out of doors


ShyKiddo__

door is wall that move


Joselepro

I am walking in walls and getting perfect aim. Oh wait... i have never played ultrakill... wtf am I doing here???


Downtownender

Descending into the ultrakill rabbit hole


Joselepro

Oh, ok!


WarmMathematician277

School PE will go hard with the perfect parry💀


IcebergletV2

whiplash and infinite slides


Buggy1617

walk on walls and whiplaaaaaaaaaaand i've made spiderman... god dammit


Satorii_Komeji

Honestly Whiplash and Dash Whiplash dash cancel all the way to my destination


Emergency_Teaching41

Healing with blood could be so useful if used correctly, anyways I am taking the mindlayer gf twice


Bogidi127

Does infinite slide give me imunity to scraping against the ground or will I just arrive as a body skeleton?


Bolt-The-Protogen

I think its with the human limitations, so I think that inf slide is the worst of the bunch.


dinkydoo2

Mindflayer gf and heal from blood


Whackyone5588

Can I get 2 mindflayer gfs


zSilver44

Invulnerable dash and the whiplash would be insanely useful in real life


CheddarCheesepuff

havent played this game (yet) but i believe in your beliefs. mindflayer gf and perfect parry


elmenta01

whiplash and always accurate, but if it can breaking items, then perfect parry and always accurate


OMAR_KD-

Parry is the most obvious answer BC I parry brings you back to full hp. The other one would either be dash, slide or mindflayer gf


Alternative-Spare-82

wait, do I get mindflayer gf or do I become mindflayer gf?


Ill_Maintenance8134

Win win


cewneur

whiplash and mind flayer gf


Molasseslord

If I bleed and I heal from blood then… I’m fucking invincible! https://preview.redd.it/a3vbcnxt8e1d1.jpeg?width=192&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09a1dd092da596c72a824abe10c74f592b37d15b


PresidentOfKoopistan

Mindflayer GF, don't need a second ability


MyrciaofTheCatArmy

Can I have a Minos husband please?🥺


Tasty-Safe-7826

Perfect parry and whiplash. Any day.


YourAverageRedditter

Whiplash and Mindflayer GF. The former to get places and pick up objects in the distance, and the latter not just because she’s hot but also assuming her teleport range is effectively irrelevant I could skip my work commute entirely


vmuwu

walk on walls/ceilings + always accurate. i was thinking of choosing freezeframe rocket but i'd probably accidentally fly myself into the ground and explode my body tbh


Wheaty155

Slide and walls so I can play Titanfall irl.


KangarooHealthy7709

Whiplash and walk on walls and ceiling # IM BECOMING SPIDERMAN MOTHERFUCKER


Disastrous_Shirt_519

does the perfect parry mean i could parry like, *any* projectile without harm? If i try to parry a missile will my hand get torn off or will it actually redirect? If so, then imagine all the stupid shit you could survive if you could simply parry


Balscion

Infinite sliding and walking on walls so I can slide my way up buildings


deathkillerLiam2313

Parry and dash. I’m boutta be the best WWE fighter