OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
---
>!Nice day at the zoo ends when face fornication begins!<
---
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
It’s so funny, but I’m thinking: “What would I do?” I’d probably do the same. But I really hope that no camera would film me. Or worse: NOT covering the child’s face, and the camera catching me watching this play out. “HEY, we’re using the same technique!”
I think I wouldn't care. If my kid asked me what was going on I'd just tell him he's trying to make a baby. Probably because my Mum would do the same, that's how I grew up. I can't remember ever having 'the talk', I guess because that stuff wasn't taboo.
Same with movies and such, she knew they wouldn't affect me negatively. She bought me GTA San Andreas in 4th grade.
Btw there were still rules in the house, she wasn't careless.
Same, my parents never tried to censor sex scenes in movies or anything, and they definitely would never try to hide animals fucking from me, some of my family had farms, that was just part of life, watching a stallion blow a load like a garden hose in some random mare.
My parents were very wary of violence though, so I couldn't watch movies with hardcore violence until I was older. My dad isn't American and he thinks it's weird as fuck with how parents here are ok with their kids seeing gruesome violence in movies but will spaz the fuck out if a kid sees a titty.
“I’m writing to you from jail.”
Jk. But same. Nothing was weird. “Penis or forehead, it’s just body parts”, my mom used to say. Not all of this led me to the best behaviors. But still, when something like that happens in front of your eyes, and you’re trying to *do better* than your parents… I don’t know, I’d probably just laugh and say something like: “He’s not taking any chances, doesn’t trust condoms at all.” “Dad, what’s a komdom?” “Ask your mother.”
Kid duckduckgos it. Finds this page on [komodo dragons](https://imgur.com/gallery/komodo-dragon-even-deadlier-than-you-thought-RUeB9#QfL328L). "Yeah, I wouldn't trust that either."
It's pretty wild, isn't it? Especially the parts showing how unexpectedly agile they are with the sideways jukes in combat.
Not to mention their special hearts that let them cheat the endurance restrictions on reptiles.
Close to the same in my family. Talk about sex was never taboo. I wasnt allowed GTA growing up because it was a game about stealing, killing and drugs and my mother didn't want me idolizing drug deals and criminals.
I mean they're sitting directly in front of the action, how long do you want them to sit there watching lion porn? Until he busts a load on her face? I'd just treat it like they were pooping directly in front of me... like yeah, it's normal but also let's give the lions some space, I don't wanna watch that.
Nice assumptions! All you have to do is say, "Hey! The snake exhibit is pretty cool!" Or something to distract the kid. Kids are really easy to distract. You just need a little imagination.
What assumptions, exactly? If you'd normally be watching lions for longer and the lion starts doing something new super energetically right in front of you and mommy suddenly has a burning desire to go see snakes instead, I think even easily distracted kids wouldn't really buy that those weren't connected, and therefore you wouldn't be acting totally normally.
Your initial comment did read like you’d just stay and let things play out as if nothing weird was happening. But you’re correct, kids are easily distracted and that’s the way to handle it.
Mistresses* at best.
Any species physically capable of oral sex and evolved to have their dopamine system reward them for sex will figure out oral sex fairly quickly.
Brother, you're not seeing oral sex. You're seeing clumsy misplaced horniness. A lioness's tongue is worse than sandpaper. It's literally barbed. And that's putting aside the coordination and focus required to perform such an act that these animals lack.
you say this and i imagine somewhere someone is like the first furry to spawn and says "i was the first one! owo!!!" then barks or meows or something.. what does a fox say?
I‘m slim shady yes I’m the real shady, all you other slim shadys are just imitating, so won’t the real slim shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
This is kind of how I learned about the birds and the bees. I was on a field trip to the aquarium with my Christian summer camp. A dolphin masturbated by rubbing its junk against the glass, eventually jizzing everywhere. I was like 5 or so, I have to imagine the counselors ushered us away.
At home I told my Mom I saw a dolphin "poop out of its pee pee", and she bought me a kids science book about reproduction.
Long story short, I blame the aquarium for my sexual depravity!
Jk, I'm married with kids and pretty much just do tired side sex and fall asleep watching Netflix on Friday nights. Add in a random boob grab in the car when the kids are asleep in the car seats, you parents get it.
>I'm married with kids and pretty much just do tired side sex and fall asleep watching Netflix on Friday nights.
Dude, tired side sex is where it's at. Let your freak flag fly.
True story. Like I said I'm a tired and busy parent. If I'm going to take the effort to type something, it's definitely not going to be a made up story. Ain't nobody got time for dat.
He definitely did. I always thought this gif was him shoving it in her mouth, but if you watch her head carefully, you can see that the mouth is not coming to meet him.
That's gotta hurt for both parties involved.
I am very curious. I didn't know that oral sex was a thing in animals. It doesn't help in propagation of the species, so how did animals evolve to do this?
Only serious answers please..
They are doing it for fun, propagation is a side effect
Most mammals with half a brain are pervs anyway.
And male lions spend like half of their time awake doing the deed so they probably tried some variations
We ain't nothing but mammals too lol, lions seems to have very high rates of homosexuality and bisexuality too and the shit Dolphins and penguins do is just too fucked up to even cover lol. Whole bunch of animals are kinky weirdos just like us.
Dolphins, walruses, penguins, otters, ducks.. you name it, we got dirty info on them ALL proving they're no better than us and we're no better than them.
Not everything has to have evolved because it helps propagation. It's more so that things that hinder propagation will quickly be selected against. As for oral sex, if sex being enjoyable is overall increasing reproductive success, and a side effect of that is that oral sex also is enjoyable, then the correct question would be "Why should it be selected against (as long as it is not in itself detrimental to reproductive success)?".
There was a story in Kenya about two male lions going at it with each other and the rangers blamed it on gay tourists, it suddenly doesn't seem so far fetched 😂
"Are big cat tongues rough in the same way house cat tongues are? Would a lion licking you feel like a cheese grater? Yep. All cats big and small have coarse tongues designed to remove flesh from their prey but that can also be used for grooming.Nov 1, 2022"
Hmm
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected: --- >!Nice day at the zoo ends when face fornication begins!< --- Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Damn… fuckin lion getting more BJ than me…
Bon-jour ?
His date is a freak
No
Very well then, bon appétit
stop hiding behind your petty little red flags
take a chance on the best relationship you never had
Maybe you're right and I'm looking for excuses
Au reviour!
Bon Jovi
Bone Jaw.
Everyone is getting more BJ than you
No, I don’t.
Lion must have *cat*aracts.
Ball Juice
Dude, it's the king of the jungle, ofc he gets more sex than a redditor
Maybe the ladies don't like the clicking noises, u/BallsofSt33l.
The way he covers that child's face, peak cinema!!
i was about to say that lol
[удалено]
It’s so funny, but I’m thinking: “What would I do?” I’d probably do the same. But I really hope that no camera would film me. Or worse: NOT covering the child’s face, and the camera catching me watching this play out. “HEY, we’re using the same technique!”
"you see kiddo, you were the lucky one that got to go in the other side, your potential brothers and sisters weren't so lucky"
“It’s ok, I bet some of them were shit heads as well”
I think I wouldn't care. If my kid asked me what was going on I'd just tell him he's trying to make a baby. Probably because my Mum would do the same, that's how I grew up. I can't remember ever having 'the talk', I guess because that stuff wasn't taboo. Same with movies and such, she knew they wouldn't affect me negatively. She bought me GTA San Andreas in 4th grade. Btw there were still rules in the house, she wasn't careless.
Same, my parents never tried to censor sex scenes in movies or anything, and they definitely would never try to hide animals fucking from me, some of my family had farms, that was just part of life, watching a stallion blow a load like a garden hose in some random mare. My parents were very wary of violence though, so I couldn't watch movies with hardcore violence until I was older. My dad isn't American and he thinks it's weird as fuck with how parents here are ok with their kids seeing gruesome violence in movies but will spaz the fuck out if a kid sees a titty.
“I’m writing to you from jail.” Jk. But same. Nothing was weird. “Penis or forehead, it’s just body parts”, my mom used to say. Not all of this led me to the best behaviors. But still, when something like that happens in front of your eyes, and you’re trying to *do better* than your parents… I don’t know, I’d probably just laugh and say something like: “He’s not taking any chances, doesn’t trust condoms at all.” “Dad, what’s a komdom?” “Ask your mother.”
Kid duckduckgos it. Finds this page on [komodo dragons](https://imgur.com/gallery/komodo-dragon-even-deadlier-than-you-thought-RUeB9#QfL328L). "Yeah, I wouldn't trust that either."
Bro really just sent me into a 1h reading session about the myth surrounding the way komodo dragons hunt
It's pretty wild, isn't it? Especially the parts showing how unexpectedly agile they are with the sideways jukes in combat. Not to mention their special hearts that let them cheat the endurance restrictions on reptiles.
I'd just tell him he's trying to make a baby. "But I don't get what he's doing. What's he doing to her face? Daddy?"
You know how our cat at home is very silly sometimes?
Close to the same in my family. Talk about sex was never taboo. I wasnt allowed GTA growing up because it was a game about stealing, killing and drugs and my mother didn't want me idolizing drug deals and criminals.
"Well, son, they're trying for a a face baby"
It's a lion, I think you'd have to just let it do what it liked.
"Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom."
Yeah, the best part is if you act like everything is normal. Instead of shying the kid away. It would keep the kid innocent longer.
I mean they're sitting directly in front of the action, how long do you want them to sit there watching lion porn? Until he busts a load on her face? I'd just treat it like they were pooping directly in front of me... like yeah, it's normal but also let's give the lions some space, I don't wanna watch that.
Nice assumptions! All you have to do is say, "Hey! The snake exhibit is pretty cool!" Or something to distract the kid. Kids are really easy to distract. You just need a little imagination.
What assumptions, exactly? If you'd normally be watching lions for longer and the lion starts doing something new super energetically right in front of you and mommy suddenly has a burning desire to go see snakes instead, I think even easily distracted kids wouldn't really buy that those weren't connected, and therefore you wouldn't be acting totally normally.
The assumption that I'd just sit there? I get a feeling you may not be great with kids. Edit: It was an assumption but may be my fault
Your initial comment did read like you’d just stay and let things play out as if nothing weird was happening. But you’re correct, kids are easily distracted and that’s the way to handle it.
Well, okay. I'm not great at explaining things out fully. Thank you.
Either way I'd watch until done.
I didn’t know lions facefucked their wives.
If it was another big cat’s wife it would make him a Cheatah
Depending on age, she might be a cougar
They all lion about their age
But they're sure feline horny.
Then its inter caste, if its a leopard then its un natural act.
But if he was alone, he's just jagging off.
Even if they told you otherwise, don't listen to them, they are lion
I hope you take pride in that comment
First warning ⚠️
Take your upvote, and think about what you've done.
I don't know how to send props or whatever but BRAVO for that!!! *
Mistresses* at best. Any species physically capable of oral sex and evolved to have their dopamine system reward them for sex will figure out oral sex fairly quickly.
What other species perform oral sex? I've seen a monkey with a toad, I'm not sure that counts.
Bonobo apes. They do all of the kinks.
Only the kinkiest would risk putting it in a lioness's mouth!
Bonobos solve every conflict with sex. Very smart creatures.
Dolphins, sometimes on humans. Kinda problematic about it actually
What?
Not sure which on which but dolphins are very rapey and pervs
That dolphin noise takes on a whole new meaning
"AYO shawty throw back that bombaclat gyatt"
This episode of King of the Hill will explain everything: https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0620250/
Bats have been proven to perform oral sex. I guess until recently they were the only other species observed to perform fellatio.
So we got bats, and now we got cats. Batman x Catwoman blowjob arc when?
I assure you, it's already out there.
But not the other way around. ["Heroes don't do that."](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/batman-oral-sex-catwoman/)
My hamster does. Although he doesn't have much choice in the matter.
Brother, you're not seeing oral sex. You're seeing clumsy misplaced horniness. A lioness's tongue is worse than sandpaper. It's literally barbed. And that's putting aside the coordination and focus required to perform such an act that these animals lack.
how did you acquire this knowledge?
Cat biology
> It's literally barbed Lion dick is too, they match
Every adult female in the pride is a lion's wife.
No, a first for me too. I'm pretty old, but still learn every day.
Lol "wives"
Lioness's mouth is visible in the shot. That's a mindfuck.
That is uncut version for adults. You watch this. 
this scene spawned so many future furries
Not nearly as many as Disney's *Robin Hood*.
or space jam and for the next generation it will be zootopia and for the previous generation it was something else, I dunno I'm not old
I thought it was Lola Bunny in Space Jam?
Oh 100% this and just the entirety of beauty and the beast. Literally no hope for my generation (i mean me lmao)
you say this and i imagine somewhere someone is like the first furry to spawn and says "i was the first one! owo!!!" then barks or meows or something.. what does a fox say?
"I'm just a simple farmer" - Disney Animators
This never fails to make me uncomfortable
You should be uncomfortable, they're half-siblings.
Royals are different yo
The Habsburgs fart in your general direction.
Off to look up Lion King sex I go
Make sure to include incest in that search.
By the time they hit fourth grade They got the Discovery Channel, don't they?
We ain't nothing but mammals
Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
But if you feel like i feel, I got the antidote Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes
I‘m slim shady yes I’m the real shady, all you other slim shadys are just imitating, so won’t the real slim shady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up
r/suddeneminem
I believe I know this reference.
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Doggy-style so we can watch X-Files
Looks like the Lions got Starlink too..
Jesus Christ. That was exactly what the last view I just watched was about
Freaky ass lion he 69 god!
freaky ass lions need to stay they ass inside, ey!
Run,Run,Run,Run for your life
Let me hear you say ov ho
OV Hoe
Then step this way
are you my friend?
are we locked in?
Pawbrey Drake Graham
[удалено]
I think lion dicks are barbed too... :/
Natural Velcro
That's enough reddit for tonight ✌️
So they cancel out
IDK physics, maybe?
is it me or does it look like he sticks it into her ear, not the mouth?
This is kind of how I learned about the birds and the bees. I was on a field trip to the aquarium with my Christian summer camp. A dolphin masturbated by rubbing its junk against the glass, eventually jizzing everywhere. I was like 5 or so, I have to imagine the counselors ushered us away. At home I told my Mom I saw a dolphin "poop out of its pee pee", and she bought me a kids science book about reproduction. Long story short, I blame the aquarium for my sexual depravity! Jk, I'm married with kids and pretty much just do tired side sex and fall asleep watching Netflix on Friday nights. Add in a random boob grab in the car when the kids are asleep in the car seats, you parents get it.
>I'm married with kids and pretty much just do tired side sex and fall asleep watching Netflix on Friday nights. Dude, tired side sex is where it's at. Let your freak flag fly.
True or false, 10/10 the reason I’m on Reddit r/foofoothesnew
True story. Like I said I'm a tired and busy parent. If I'm going to take the effort to type something, it's definitely not going to be a made up story. Ain't nobody got time for dat.
Who the fk, introduced porn to lions?
The zookeeper. Duh.
Elon Musk gave them starlink
Porn actually got the idea from lions, common misconception.
Thanks for coming!
Watching her face twitch as he drives it into her eye or wherever is too funny for me, I'm broken
She’s Hakuna-ing his Matata!
so lions likes blowjobs also. good. good.
I think...I think he put it in her.....ear
He definitely did. I always thought this gif was him shoving it in her mouth, but if you watch her head carefully, you can see that the mouth is not coming to meet him. That's gotta hurt for both parties involved.
Let. The. Boy. Watch.
He needs to learn
Can I watch?
Those dangling balls... Looks like a cat-toy. I actually expected the girl-lion to put her claws in it.
I am very curious. I didn't know that oral sex was a thing in animals. It doesn't help in propagation of the species, so how did animals evolve to do this? Only serious answers please..
Except the fact that I don't think he put it into her mouth.
yeah just a lion being horny and stupid.
They are doing it for fun, propagation is a side effect Most mammals with half a brain are pervs anyway. And male lions spend like half of their time awake doing the deed so they probably tried some variations
We ain't nothing but mammals too lol, lions seems to have very high rates of homosexuality and bisexuality too and the shit Dolphins and penguins do is just too fucked up to even cover lol. Whole bunch of animals are kinky weirdos just like us.
I knew about dolphins, but penguins?!
Dolphins, walruses, penguins, otters, ducks.. you name it, we got dirty info on them ALL proving they're no better than us and we're no better than them.
Yep, penguins especially lol: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2012/jun/09/sex-depravity-penguins-scott-antarctic
The same way humans did, bub.
Not everything has to have evolved because it helps propagation. It's more so that things that hinder propagation will quickly be selected against. As for oral sex, if sex being enjoyable is overall increasing reproductive success, and a side effect of that is that oral sex also is enjoyable, then the correct question would be "Why should it be selected against (as long as it is not in itself detrimental to reproductive success)?".
Thats what it would do to all those douche bags that think they can beat it in a fight in real life
Wat.
[I want everyone to know that what is about to transpire, I take no pleasure in it.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DzzmerLBGgQ)
get it Simba
I’m familiar with Lion’s Mane tea. The Lion’s Mane teabag - not what I expected. TIL.
Hmmkay nope, that's enough internet for you today, child.
There was a story in Kenya about two male lions going at it with each other and the rangers blamed it on gay tourists, it suddenly doesn't seem so far fetched 😂
I hate that it took the dad five seconds to realize what was going on. Jesus I figured it out as soon as the male look assumed the position
This happens when you watch to much porn
But bro, what about that sandpaper tounge cats have?
She was out of earbuds...
"hey, you guys wanna see something cool?"
That’s called the Simba
I'm the juggernaut, bitch.
Nancy Reagan is that you?
Must be his birthday.
Am I the only one thinking that must have went into the nose? I still see her mouth underneath those ⚽️🏀
Hell yeah. 😂 locked up nothing to do.
u/savevideo
bro...
♋️
Thats risky..
"Are big cat tongues rough in the same way house cat tongues are? Would a lion licking you feel like a cheese grater? Yep. All cats big and small have coarse tongues designed to remove flesh from their prey but that can also be used for grooming.Nov 1, 2022" Hmm
The Lion: “Hey kid, wanna be traumatized?”
asserting dominance past the cage boundaries
"Daddy, why?...what?...how come that lion did that with his ting-ting?"
The beauty of nature.
Beware of the teeth ig.
hes just like me fr fr
Father: "Nah f*** this, lets go son. we're not watching his balls up close. Not again."
we got lion giving bj before GTA VI
Freaky ass lion
Haha! We call this the act of mating! But! There are several very important differences between human beings and animals that you should know about
That lion is either very brave, very stupid or very desperate. Getting a BJ from a lion doesn't sound like a good time to me.
Didn't know they were capable of that.
u/savevideo
wtf!!
It’s completely natural 🥷