Lee: It wasn’t shattered or ancient, but the word “pot” was correct in that sentence.
Bob: It was little more than meat and feathers!
Gaby: and yet the thing escapes!
Bob: actually I suspect it was killed by my cats
Edit for autocorrect naming Gaby Gary.
The dude is a master!
Actually another bit that’s hilarious in this is when Bob claims it couldn’t use its bottom for pooing and David asks, “well what did it use?” So stupid and clever at the same time.
'side passage' from that story just sticks in my head as well. there's something so benign and mundane about it that makes it incredible to insert into an anecdote
This is the one. Everyone's reaction is hilarious. David's increasing and uncontrollable laughter, Gabys shock and Jack's realisation and apology. Brilliant moment.
My favorite line is in the same segment. Bob mentions a "leathermaker's drill" and nods to the audience as if they're following along, only to be met with absolutely nothing.
"OH IS IT, DAVID?" (after David suggests the cabbaging is just a one-off)
"JOSHUA TREE" (Sam Campbell--it's the weird timing that makes it so funny)
and of course
"A sniper's dream"
After Rob sums up “No, Chris Rea didn’t put an egg in Bob’s bath”, David snaps with something like “Of COURSE he didn’t!!! Who could possibly believe THAT?!?”
Rhod Gilbert: I've known you for 15 years. You'd have noticed if I had a complete flipper.
When claiming he couldn't wear normal gloves because he had an "unusual hand".
It's the nodding also. Utter silence at the end of the sentence! 😆
I pop this line into conversation when I feel like the moment requires it. In the Mortimer fashion.
“‘Get to the point’ is not an exultation that can be fairly made during a parlour game. There is no point, this is a pointless exercise. We are wiling away our finite time to the grave”
Rob: “It’s like waiting with a specialist for a result.”
David: “yes, but ironically, if this is true, (that Lee was invited to the royal wedding) when that moment comes for the both of us, it will just be a mercy”.
>Pheasants? Dogs?! Fox?! What sort of menagerie do you imagine I would be imagining? Here I am in my castle, with ten different sorts of vaguely posh animal all fighting each other, then I kill a servant and have sex with a wall!
>“Dunno” when (can’t remember who) give Anne-Marie as an example of a French name and is then asked who that is.
It was Jamie Laing
https://old.reddit.com/r/WILTY/comments/zcz5cz/appreciating_annemarie_one_of_my_favourite_wilty/
"Just standard vanilla"
"That was a lovely Adam Ant song, wasn't it?"
That line randomly popped into my head a few weeks back and I spent ages trying to find the clip it was in..
https://youtu.be/hB1Sypj2mU8?si=uV-0QGrGlOwDnAse
Sir Tom Courtney - when reenacting a nativity scene with David, as an actor he mentions he needs some lines. Then he says, don’t worry I’ve found some and proceeds to read a card from a previous round, as a Shepard from -2BC
“I kick off every Christmas morning with a bowl of cornflakes in a sea of Baileys”
I still can't get over Rob's "And when you say bed of nails, you really mean bed", purely bc Lee looks genuinely flustered for a second.
And obviously, the heroin door.
David: "We've got to learn to work together."
Rhod: "Well, in that case you need to change your opinion."
xxx
"I'm not going to discuss it anymore. I've given you the information and in time you'll accept it."
In the context of David’s claim that “there’s something about me that elephants like”
“The only person that’s always with me is my friend Kevin, the bun seller.”
COME GET YOUR OWN HORSE. Or This was an *incredibly* sick owl.
I can’t stress this enough
Just a lump of meat and feathers.
...at which point locals...
"NO! YOU KEEP!"
I've been trying to get rid of *Psycho* for years!
"There are 7 **billion** humans on earth. *Please* let's not eliminate them one by one."
David Tennant, or as I call him- 'Doctor Whom'
We do beg your pardon but we are in your garden. (I think about this at least once a week.)
so do i! but no one else in my life watches this show so there is no one i can have an inside laugh with. :c
I am so grateful to be in a pro-Bob marriage. We quote him constantly. Our bond is Fuji-9.
Once you have Fuji-9, you are a dentist.
Even though, Lee, you have said, on television, that you want my marriage to fall apart, I still find you to be an adequate colleague.
This is the line I say every time I do my spot on David Mitchell impression
Are you still writing for Clinton Cards?
Miles: We're not talking about big numbers here Lee: Well whatever her nickname was, we don't care
Adjacent to this: Rob: “where does your wife stand on the Hoover?” Miles: “that is not how the Hoover operates”
VEEEGGEEEETTTAABBUULLLS
"OH SCHEISSE!"
Is everybody here?
Lee: It wasn’t shattered or ancient, but the word “pot” was correct in that sentence. Bob: It was little more than meat and feathers! Gaby: and yet the thing escapes! Bob: actually I suspect it was killed by my cats Edit for autocorrect naming Gaby Gary.
Just thinking about the Mavis story makes me laugh out loud. I adore Bob.
The dude is a master! Actually another bit that’s hilarious in this is when Bob claims it couldn’t use its bottom for pooing and David asks, “well what did it use?” So stupid and clever at the same time.
There’s a place for the bins, you!!
'side passage' from that story just sticks in my head as well. there's something so benign and mundane about it that makes it incredible to insert into an anecdote
Memories are like fingerprints on an abandoned hand rail.
Like plucking pollen off a mouse's handkerchief
I use this regularly.
Even while you poetically describe the aging process, another part of your brain is inventing the rules of a fictional game
WE USED TO MAKE STEEL!
Came to say this 🤣
WHERE... IN THE SAFARI PARK... WAS YOUR CAR?!
IN THE BABOON AREA!
As I suspected!
'Lets call her Gabby for now'
This is the one. Everyone's reaction is hilarious. David's increasing and uncontrollable laughter, Gabys shock and Jack's realisation and apology. Brilliant moment.
I don't think I know this one, source please?
https://youtu.be/DU390JYhD5o?si=odXSkDwqR2wuHrs0
Thanks!
>Thanks! You're welcome!
Fuji IX
My favorite line is in the same segment. Bob mentions a "leathermaker's drill" and nods to the audience as if they're following along, only to be met with absolutely nothing.
I came here to post this. On its own, "a leather maker's drill" isn't a funny line. Bob's delivery and that nod make it hilarious.
Same loved that and with cutting hair - OH NOT SO MUCH NOW ROB
"OH IS IT, DAVID?" (after David suggests the cabbaging is just a one-off) "JOSHUA TREE" (Sam Campbell--it's the weird timing that makes it so funny) and of course "A sniper's dream"
bob: …steve bytheway…. david: as in…’coincidentally’? … bob: he was a sergeant, by the way. lee: oh, sgt. bytheway!
Lee is SO FAST! And I love how Bob totally cracks up.
yes! that is one of my most watched clips on youtube.
After Rob sums up “No, Chris Rea didn’t put an egg in Bob’s bath”, David snaps with something like “Of COURSE he didn’t!!! Who could possibly believe THAT?!?”
this is why education is so important
"That's disappointing for us at this stage, but the good news is, a third of their team is an idiot."
Rhod Gilbert: I've known you for 15 years. You'd have noticed if I had a complete flipper. When claiming he couldn't wear normal gloves because he had an "unusual hand".
Have you got 'Truth Glasses'?! THOSE AREN'T ALLOWED ON THIS SHOW!
I like to think on the basis of this line, that this is why they got together
Bob Mortimer nodding towards the audience and saying “leathermaker’s drill, yeah?”
Got there before me! 😆 So aggressive and patronising! 😆
I just don’t understand why he suddenly does that, which is what makes it hilarious.
It's the nodding also. Utter silence at the end of the sentence! 😆 I pop this line into conversation when I feel like the moment requires it. In the Mortimer fashion.
“And now don’t you feel stupid for [questioning] *Standard* fireworks?”
Lee: And this one is the key to the front door, the bottom one, what do you call it? Claudia: Bolt... Lee: 'Yes, I wish I could'
There is no point, this is a pointless exercise. We are whiling away our finite time before the grave.
“‘Get to the point’ is not an exultation that can be fairly made during a parlour game. There is no point, this is a pointless exercise. We are wiling away our finite time to the grave”
Because Steven Tatlock wasn’t always there.
Rob: “It’s like waiting with a specialist for a result.” David: “yes, but ironically, if this is true, (that Lee was invited to the royal wedding) when that moment comes for the both of us, it will just be a mercy”.
"Bit rude, David" always struck me funny. That egg in the bath story always cracks (no pun intended) me up!
“Still doing that old school comedy I see”
-Did this tent not have a built in ground sheet? -No it did not. Because otherwise it would have been 'this is Steve and we were once kidnapped'
Ooh or “I think we’ll go with manhole” “well, let’s call her Gabby” - jack Dee
It was a counterfeit horse.
It was just two guys in a horse costume?!
“You’re the best female truck driver in the world”
“I was already very disappointed by the bowling alley's wine list.”
>Pheasants? Dogs?! Fox?! What sort of menagerie do you imagine I would be imagining? Here I am in my castle, with ten different sorts of vaguely posh animal all fighting each other, then I kill a servant and have sex with a wall!
"Was he the only Steve Jenkins at his school?"
Chancellor of the exchequer
Bob explaining that the fireman's water hoses do more damage than the fire -"If they had put the fire out with their boots . . ."
“If anything, I’m more into soil science”
I think we are going Manhole.. let's call her Gabby
He was my sworn enemy
I HATE THIS CHILD
Squirrels, pigeons and other birds
"Peter Gabriel?"
>“Dunno” when (can’t remember who) give Anne-Marie as an example of a French name and is then asked who that is. It was Jamie Laing https://old.reddit.com/r/WILTY/comments/zcz5cz/appreciating_annemarie_one_of_my_favourite_wilty/
THERES NOOOOOO UNIVERSITY!!!
"Just standard vanilla" "That was a lovely Adam Ant song, wasn't it?" That line randomly popped into my head a few weeks back and I spent ages trying to find the clip it was in.. https://youtu.be/hB1Sypj2mU8?si=uV-0QGrGlOwDnAse
Sir Tom Courtney - when reenacting a nativity scene with David, as an actor he mentions he needs some lines. Then he says, don’t worry I’ve found some and proceeds to read a card from a previous round, as a Shepard from -2BC “I kick off every Christmas morning with a bowl of cornflakes in a sea of Baileys”
Hey, I’m shit at time travel
Brontosaurus' are dinosaurs
"Essentially what we are doing right now is pointless. We'll talk for awhile and then we'll guess and it'll all be over"
I still can't get over Rob's "And when you say bed of nails, you really mean bed", purely bc Lee looks genuinely flustered for a second. And obviously, the heroin door.
David: "We've got to learn to work together." Rhod: "Well, in that case you need to change your opinion." xxx "I'm not going to discuss it anymore. I've given you the information and in time you'll accept it."
When I put that pen down there, it was dead to me.
"I must become the tree trimmer"
THE TREE DIDN'T NEED TO BE TRIMMED
Have the visitors been?
Lee: There's NOOOOOOOOO university! 🤣🤣
"Like fingerprints on an abandoned handrail"
Gary Cheeseman was a big lad, had a very big head, sniper's dream they used to call him
"I am the ice warden. I am one with walrus and seal."
MUM SAID DONT GO OUT! Or Ooh they've not used Fuji.
It’s ze German senze of humour!
A numerical age? As opposed to Iron or Bronze.
I did smell a fly in the room but I think you'll find that smell was soon overpowered, Jason
"WE USED TO MAKE STEEL"
"A script without his name is simply red" I really think it is this, definitely Rob's best line I'd say
In the context of David’s claim that “there’s something about me that elephants like” “The only person that’s always with me is my friend Kevin, the bun seller.”
*Kevin. Look at me, Kevin.*
"Does the design lend itself to intimacy?" "Yes" *"Not tonight, it won't"*
My friend kevin, the bun-seller
"YOU IRON BREAD!" -An incredulous Charlie Brooker
he didn’t use fiji
"how big was it?" "It was black" "And what colour was it?" Not quoted verbatim, I don't think
And at the time I was wearing a red dress…
Kevin Bridges, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
I feel a thousand years older.