No way man, I'm fucking those tied together titties with a Japanese girl fanning me for only $1. You enjoy that back-scuttling for $3, a sucker is born every minute I guess.
Someone tried to hoot breath into my touch hole with a turkey quill once, and the appalling nature of the act was overshadowed by the embarrassment of the entire room once the faux pas was exposed.
Typical *nouveau-riche* poppycock, this! The right-wealthy shan't unclench a sphincter muscle for any quill shy of a trumpeter signet's. What a tacky lot you all purport to be!
It's fake. Or at least not actually a legit brothel menu. It's likely that these were just made as novelty or jokes. [You can see another example posted on Reddit from 14 years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/c819f/nsfw_brothel_menu_circa_1912/). [Here's another from 8 years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/2jr29m/menu_from_a_1912_brothel/).
You think I'm gonna let someone blow air in my touchhole with a goose quill and NOT require it be Spanish style?! No chance, buddy! Now if you'll excuse me, they're starting the whang-off and I'm determined to beat the Mayor this week.
If I had to take an educated guess I would assume these are some type of poncho or garment that would belong to the bordello. Someone comes in ready for a bit of anal and I don't imagine the women back then were doing too much douching in between sessions. There's a lot of people may not know that anal in real life it's not always as it is in porn. I have breaking news for you all, theres shit up there.
And when you repeatedly Ram a rod in and out a shit-filled tunnel, shit begins to spread around. You wouldn't want be going back to your afternoon job with your cravat and vest covered in shit now would you?
Oh, it's quite simple, really.
They skin-tac an empty cardboard paper towel roll to your butthole. It allows for optimal airflow for the goose quill and also allows for better aiming.
I died at “peeking through a keyhole at a fucking bee”. Im sure it’s not what it sounds like, but I can’t help picture a bumblebee buzzing around in the room
>Why does it cost more to ass fuck without lube!?
I'll rent you my car with oil in it for one price, but if you're going to insist on driving it with no oil, then you're going to have to pay extra.
Right?! "Finger fucking with grease" is a whopping $45, but "Lying on back with woman's tits in your face with extra lady to play with your balls, while blowing wind up your ass with a goose quill" is only $14.00?? That's nuts!
Hahahaha. On old menus when you see a number with no dollar sign, that indicates it is in CENTS. Because people were used to seeing menu items cost less than a dollar. Finger fucking costs a quarter and two dimes.
Jeez, these prices are like seeing the old 80s McDonalds menus - blowing up the touch-hole now style for $4!
I know there's inflation and all but I feel like that was a great deal even then.
For people having difficulty reading this photo-
MADAME L. YASSEE
Cor. 34th Street and 5th Avenue
New York City
I am about to open up a capacious parlor for the benefit of the Smart Fast, or any other Set. My rooms have a capacity of from 50 to 100 gentlemen at the same time. The rooms are furnished in Turkish and Egyptian styles to meet the approval of all patrons. My prices have all been changed to meet the wartime cost of Black Diamond Salves, Blue Butter, Pills, Drops, Injections, Lotions and all other appliances required by the art as follows:
Didling on the edge of the bed with one foot on the floor ... $2.65
Blowing up the touch-hole, new style ... $4.00
Finger fucking, with grease ... $0.45
Dry Box fucking with ... $0.49
Lying on back, with woman's tits in your face, with extra lady to play with your balls while blowing wind up your ass with a goose quill ... $14.00
Fucking women between the tits with them tied together, with a Japanese girl to fan you ... $1.00
Woman to suck your cock, while you lap her cunt ... $3.55
Back-scuttling, with shit-guards attached ... $3.00
Peeking through keyhole at a fucking bee with lady to jerk you off ... $0.25
French tongue bath, with one lady ... $1.85
Same, with two ladies ... $2.25
Fucking, with woman's finger up your touchhole, Spanish style ... $5.00
Jerk-off matinees every Wednesday and Friday afternoon from 2.30 to 4.15 for youths under 21 years of age.
Music furnished by the Swinette and Humstrum Orchestra and Jazz Band. Cash prizes offered every day to the gentlemen with the largest whang.
We take great care in judging the above, that Complexion, Length, Width and Shape of the Bulls are of the very best obtainable.
I did a quick search for old photos of the corner of 34th Street and 5th Ave in NY. It looks to be very developed already by 1930 with large commercial buildings. Hard to imagine that any of those concrete buildings housed a "capacious parlor" furnished in Turkish and Egyptian styles.
It's pretty obvious someone wrote this as a joke but all of the comments here seem to think that it's a real ad. Believe it or not, people had a sense of humor a long time ago too.
It's fake. Or at least not actually a legit brothel menu. It's likely that these were just made as novelty or jokes. [You can see another example posted on Reddit from 14 years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/c819f/nsfw_brothel_menu_circa_1912/). [Here's another from 8 years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/2jr29m/menu_from_a_1912_brothel/).
Throwing a bit of cold water on this amusement piece:
1) location is the Empire State Building
2) Prostitution has never been legal in NY. Common, yes, legal, no. Printing a menu would be a slam dunk case for arrest.
3) A lot of the clientele during this time was illiterate.
More info here:
https://www.archives.nyc/blog/2019/8/29/a-history-of-prostitution-in-new-york-city-from-the-american-revolution-to-the-bad-old-days-of-the-1970-and-1980s
Empire State building was built in 1930-31. Maybe they mean WW1 or something. It's a really old house. Built mid 1800s. It could totally be satire though for sure. But it's definitely old as hell either way.
34th St & 5th Ave, NYC is where the Empire State Building is. I'm wondering if this is available on any tours?
No doubt Madame Tassee would have found it the highest honor that they erected the world's tallest building on the spot where she worked.
Anyone that offers a good dry box fucking is the highest of society.
She did plenty of erecting too
Also on the other 3 corners of that intersection: CVS Pharmacy Chase Bank CUNY Graduate Center Yeah, I could see a brothel becoming any of these.
This used to be a real country
Make touch-holes great again!
They have to long been simply OUCh Holes..
Mcdonalds has changed...
Ba da ba ba baaaa I'm fuckin' it
Sir this is a Wendy’s
i'll take the back-scuttling, james
Make sure to wear your shit-guards
bobandy
That’s Smokey behaviour, not Randers
Will we see you at the jerkoff matinee for the youths under 21?
Assuming I can get my shit-guards clean by then.
And your goose quills prepared!
it's only smellz
but i poop from there
Not right now you don't...
This....shouldn't bring me a sense of joyous nostalgia, but here we are.
No it's a touch hole... Is that any hole or??
That's where it spits
High and tight
I'm a little short on cash. Can I get a discount for skipping the shit-guards?
No way man, I'm fucking those tied together titties with a Japanese girl fanning me for only $1. You enjoy that back-scuttling for $3, a sucker is born every minute I guess.
I'm not sure if you're just being sarcastic or not, but that price did include the attached shitguards.
No need, I have my own shitguards. Useful for every occasion.
So that's what Zoidberg meant by, 'Going off for a Scuttle'. WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP
Ok bc I want to know so bad what is back scuttling? Lol
Heterosexual sodomy. Doing it in the touch hole.
This thread is killing me
https://greensdictofslang.com/entry/qt437ja
Did I see you at Jerk off Wednesday last week? You had the green hat?
I appreciate the specificity. I ain't about to have air blown up my ass with anything other than a goose quill.
Touch hole, please. Have a little decorum in this house.
Someone tried to hoot breath into my touch hole with a turkey quill once, and the appalling nature of the act was overshadowed by the embarrassment of the entire room once the faux pas was exposed.
Get a load of Moneybags over here. Not all of us have $14 to throw around for fancy goose quills.
Typical *nouveau-riche* poppycock, this! The right-wealthy shan't unclench a sphincter muscle for any quill shy of a trumpeter signet's. What a tacky lot you all purport to be!
in that menu option is actually specifies ass, which leaves the interpretation of "touch hole" wide open (excuse my pun)
Spanish Style or gtfo
I'm feeling bougie, lemme get that $14 special.
Idk if I can handle wind up my ass with a goose quill tho. Can I get a discount if I nix that part?
No. You **must** have your touchhole goose quilled
imagine going in for a back scuttling without getting your touch hole goose quilled lmao
Peasants
Pheasants
Imagine forgetting to put on your shit guards on top of that
With grease
Spanish style?
It’s a new goose quill for everyone …right?
*honk*
The fact that there's a live jazz orchestra really is the cherry on top for me. Classy.
It's fake. Or at least not actually a legit brothel menu. It's likely that these were just made as novelty or jokes. [You can see another example posted on Reddit from 14 years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/c819f/nsfw_brothel_menu_circa_1912/). [Here's another from 8 years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/2jr29m/menu_from_a_1912_brothel/).
Roy Cunt and the Flamin' Shit-guards E: I missed the perfect opportunity to say that they actually are a live jizz orchestra.
Jizz orchestra
Calm down there George.
$5 for touchhole play. Gone are the day.
That's Spanish style. New style only $4
I really want to know what Spanish style is.
The finger goes up your toucholé whilst the band plays La Bamba.
La Bumba
Nobody expects the Spanish style.
Their chief weapon is surprise. (And fear)
And an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope!
Urban dictionary says cowgirl... basically. I know! Kind of a letdown.
The dollar titfuck with the Japanese girl fanning you seems like the best deal.
Right? They even have the courtesy to tie them together so the poor woman doesn't have to keep readjusting her grip.
That’s like $35 in todays money.
$14 for the goose quill? What do I look like, Andrew fuckin Carnegie?
Watching Andrew fucking Carnegie costs 1.50. Watching Carnegie fucking Andrew, 12.99.
Jerk-off matinees for youths under 21?
I saw manatees
Two manatees, please.
That's only the brothels in Florida. But this is New England and you're going to be jerking off with a lobster instead.
I got a fake ID **saying** I'm under 21.
You think I'm gonna let someone blow air in my touchhole with a goose quill and NOT require it be Spanish style?! No chance, buddy! Now if you'll excuse me, they're starting the whang-off and I'm determined to beat the Mayor this week.
Remember, it's not just the whang that counts. Magnificent balls give extra points. Good luck my friend
I'd like the lap cunt combo please!
Fresh or musty?
https://media.tenor.com/I4VecjKgzoQAAAAe/futurama-first.png
Don't recall reading this one on the old Wendy's restaurant tables.
It was on the wallpaper at Subway.
Lmao damn this got me
You have to go behind the Wendy's now.
A lot of period movies appear to have glossed over how much "blowing wind up ass" was going on.
God damn inflation! Thanks Obama.
sorry sir, the inflation costs extra. we have a bring-your-own bellows policy
Nah, they use goose quills, $14
Wtf are "shit-guards" and how are they attached?
Could be “Mudd Flapps”?!
🎵We're going to do, what they say can't be done.🎵
🎵 Brown town and down balls deep buttfuckin!🎵
I wonder if it just means butt plug.
If I had to take an educated guess I would assume these are some type of poncho or garment that would belong to the bordello. Someone comes in ready for a bit of anal and I don't imagine the women back then were doing too much douching in between sessions. There's a lot of people may not know that anal in real life it's not always as it is in porn. I have breaking news for you all, theres shit up there. And when you repeatedly Ram a rod in and out a shit-filled tunnel, shit begins to spread around. You wouldn't want be going back to your afternoon job with your cravat and vest covered in shit now would you?
Oh, it's quite simple, really. They skin-tac an empty cardboard paper towel roll to your butthole. It allows for optimal airflow for the goose quill and also allows for better aiming.
The sheer thought of this is so impeccably amusing that my day will have been made for the next few days, at the very least
I swear honey, I only go for the Swinette and Humstrum Orchestra Jazz Band
That was my favorite part
When old people talk about the good old days, they’re talking about this
We used to be a real country. They took this from you.
[удалено]
Holy crap
Crap isn't on the menu, but I assure you the priest is going to cost extra.
Back scuttling is heterosexual anal intercourse according to google. Not sure about shit-guards, though.
Report back with your findings. This is the puzzle we're all trying to solve.
I’m thinking « back scuttling » is akin to tit fucking but using butt cheeks instead, not sure though
We'll take the lot!
Rich kid buying out the whole ass trolly
*touchole trolley
Watch out for the chocolate frogs.
I died at “peeking through a keyhole at a fucking bee”. Im sure it’s not what it sounds like, but I can’t help picture a bumblebee buzzing around in the room
It's like a spelling bee, but for fucking.
Can you use it in a sentence?
"I made it all the way to the end of the spelling bee, but at the fucking bee I was the first one to finish."
A bargain at just 25¢
A "bee" can also mean a group activity. Like a spelling bee, or a sewing bee. A fucking bee is an old-timey way of saying "orgy".
yeah I initially envisioned someone getting stung in the eye, but I think it's supposed to be like a spelling bee
Ever played Final Fantasy VII?
Well, I'm off to the Urban Dictionary to see what half these things are.
Butt stuff.
[See also](https://publicdomainreview.org/collection/a-classical-dictionary-of-the-vulgar-tongue-1788/)
You can fuck tit's for $1 or get licked for $1.85.. these prices are all over the place. Why does it cost more to ass fuck without lube!?
>Why does it cost more to ass fuck without lube!? I'll rent you my car with oil in it for one price, but if you're going to insist on driving it with no oil, then you're going to have to pay extra.
Right?! "Finger fucking with grease" is a whopping $45, but "Lying on back with woman's tits in your face with extra lady to play with your balls, while blowing wind up your ass with a goose quill" is only $14.00?? That's nuts!
Hahahaha. On old menus when you see a number with no dollar sign, that indicates it is in CENTS. Because people were used to seeing menu items cost less than a dollar. Finger fucking costs a quarter and two dimes.
Well thank goodness the world once again makes sense.
Doing the lords work here
Then why is peeking through a keyhole at fucking whilst being jerked off clearly labeled 25c?!? The questions!
I believe that is watching a show while jerking yourself off. You know...for teens!
These prices are reasonable.
I read 45 cent
45 cents. Not dollars
Pretty sure that was $.45, not $45.00
Jeez, these prices are like seeing the old 80s McDonalds menus - blowing up the touch-hole now style for $4! I know there's inflation and all but I feel like that was a great deal even then.
Back-scuttling with shit-guards?
Dry box fucking… no thanks.
reminds me of my soiree with Thatcher back in '03. even at 77 she didn't look a day older than 80.
The Ben Shapiro special
Right up the touchhole
Considering hygiene of that era, touchhole play is wildly under valued.
For people having difficulty reading this photo- MADAME L. YASSEE Cor. 34th Street and 5th Avenue New York City I am about to open up a capacious parlor for the benefit of the Smart Fast, or any other Set. My rooms have a capacity of from 50 to 100 gentlemen at the same time. The rooms are furnished in Turkish and Egyptian styles to meet the approval of all patrons. My prices have all been changed to meet the wartime cost of Black Diamond Salves, Blue Butter, Pills, Drops, Injections, Lotions and all other appliances required by the art as follows: Didling on the edge of the bed with one foot on the floor ... $2.65 Blowing up the touch-hole, new style ... $4.00 Finger fucking, with grease ... $0.45 Dry Box fucking with ... $0.49 Lying on back, with woman's tits in your face, with extra lady to play with your balls while blowing wind up your ass with a goose quill ... $14.00 Fucking women between the tits with them tied together, with a Japanese girl to fan you ... $1.00 Woman to suck your cock, while you lap her cunt ... $3.55 Back-scuttling, with shit-guards attached ... $3.00 Peeking through keyhole at a fucking bee with lady to jerk you off ... $0.25 French tongue bath, with one lady ... $1.85 Same, with two ladies ... $2.25 Fucking, with woman's finger up your touchhole, Spanish style ... $5.00 Jerk-off matinees every Wednesday and Friday afternoon from 2.30 to 4.15 for youths under 21 years of age. Music furnished by the Swinette and Humstrum Orchestra and Jazz Band. Cash prizes offered every day to the gentlemen with the largest whang. We take great care in judging the above, that Complexion, Length, Width and Shape of the Bulls are of the very best obtainable.
No one talking about the jerk off manitees for the people under 21+
matinee... the early show time, not the sea cow.
This is a very important distinction for the young’uns.
Yep. It's a lot easier to fuck a manatee than to jerk one off.
My grandma always said that.
You just have to take the joy out of everything, don't you
I mean, you can still catch the early show, it just won't satisfy your sea cow fetish
Oh my God if I’d only known that twenty years ago my whole life would’ve been different.
Did you show up to the movies early and get really disappointed that there wasn't an aquarium?
*matinee Outstanding typo 10/10
This ain't FL-type fun
> under 21+
That is a bona fide historic find. Any idea of the time period it is from?
I did a quick search for old photos of the corner of 34th Street and 5th Ave in NY. It looks to be very developed already by 1930 with large commercial buildings. Hard to imagine that any of those concrete buildings housed a "capacious parlor" furnished in Turkish and Egyptian styles.
It's pretty obvious someone wrote this as a joke but all of the comments here seem to think that it's a real ad. Believe it or not, people had a sense of humor a long time ago too.
It's located at the Empire State Building. It certainly feels like a joke.
The house was built in the mid 1800s and the windows we're replacing are original I believe. They're that wavy glass like old ass houses have.
It's fake. Or at least not actually a legit brothel menu. It's likely that these were just made as novelty or jokes. [You can see another example posted on Reddit from 14 years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/c819f/nsfw_brothel_menu_circa_1912/). [Here's another from 8 years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/2jr29m/menu_from_a_1912_brothel/).
The word "jazz" was introduced around 1915, the US was involved in WWI from 1917 to 1918
i am... both intrigued and confused most of these are self-explanatory, but some are just wild. (tf is a shit guard)
“Blowing wind up your ass with a goose quill”. Hmmmmmm
I'm so jealous of your find. That would be proudly framed and on a wall somewhere in my house - probably the bedroom.
Throwing a bit of cold water on this amusement piece: 1) location is the Empire State Building 2) Prostitution has never been legal in NY. Common, yes, legal, no. Printing a menu would be a slam dunk case for arrest. 3) A lot of the clientele during this time was illiterate. More info here: https://www.archives.nyc/blog/2019/8/29/a-history-of-prostitution-in-new-york-city-from-the-american-revolution-to-the-bad-old-days-of-the-1970-and-1980s
Empire State building was built in 1930-31. Maybe they mean WW1 or something. It's a really old house. Built mid 1800s. It could totally be satire though for sure. But it's definitely old as hell either way.
I know I'm not winning any cash prizes.
I particularly like "Blowing up the touch-hole, new style" because it implies there's an old style that's no longer done.
What is the "soup dejour"?
It’s the soup of the day.
Thanks Flow!
Flo? Alice?
mm that sounds good, I'll have that!
OMG this is golden.
Golden was not on the menu 😒
I'd wager a guess it was available, off menu...
Reading that made my touch hole quiver.
Shit guards?
Must have been an old burlesque house.
How much were Spanish style with the Japanese girl fanning me? I don't see that option.
WTF is a French tongue bath?
idk, but for 40 cents more you get a 2nd lady so I'm interested.
tongue bath but with a French accent
I am quite curious about the shit guards...
"Blowing up the touch hole" 😂
I've heard of Greek and Russian. I didn't know Spanish was a style.
Gotta remember to bring the kids.
Reading the first part i was kinda confused. Then i got to the menu and was like Ooohhhh.
Born too soon to explore the Universe. Born too late to do whateverthefuck *that* is.
A whorehouse has easier to understand and fairer pricing than our healthcare system and medical billing in 2024.
That’s funny as hell. Gotta have one foot on the floor to keep it cheap, shit guards are a plus.
On a serious note, this is probably satire right?
This HAS to be a joke. There would not just be an ad in the newspaper for this lol. The shit guards are the icing on the cake
Dammit, doesn't anyone blow up the touch-hole the old fashioned way, anymore?
this has got to be the funniest shit I've ever read on WTF
What the fuck are shit guards?
This is the what they mean when they say Make America Great Again
Whatever back-scuttling is, glad they had shit-guards attached