Hi u/LowPhrase3553, your post has been removed because: This breaks our Rule 1 - No Screenshots or Screen Recordings. Please read the rules and warnings before posting. --- If you have any questions, feel free to [send us a message](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FWTF&subject=Post%20removal&message=Removed%20post:%20https://old.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1dq9iwi/-/)! This bot does not reply.

Did that person spread feces on their face? Is that what we just witnessed? This is enough internet for me tonight. Signing off.

Yeah and it worked beautifully to get the man out of trouble. YOU NEVER GO TO THE SECONDARY LOCATION! That’s why I shit and smear it on my face at the first sign of trouble.

>YOU NEVER GO TO THE SECONDARY LOCATION! Seriously, by any means The forbidden countermeasure indeed In dungeons and dragons terms, I think you'd call that Constitution Check and all of them failed I'm pulling this trick out of my ass next session This is actually one hell of a tactical genius to pull this off, and brave too How many people wouldn't dare put doo doo on their face right out of their ass, even if it saved their lives Let alone think about doing it When was that idea incepted? Was that Turd premeditated? Like he thought "if I get get caught ill drop one" Was he going to shit from adrenaline and improvised? I have so many questions

Apparently it won't be the only thing you're pulling out of your ass

What's the other thing(s)?

The only limits are their ambition and creativity

Bravo Six, going dark

Bravo six, going shart

"Releasing ass chaff...bogeys peeling off, we got em boys."

Yes.

Yes.

Here’s a trick mall security DOESNT WANT U TO KNOW!!!

I think the security guard got shot, there was a red splatter off his back. And the guy has shit on his face?? WTF indeed!!

For those who dont get it this is a shoplifter getting restrained by security so he took a handful of shit and smeared it on his face to get out

Pretty smart actually. Smear shit on someone = assault. Smear shit on yourself = just shit on your face.

It clearly worked. I wouldn't do it. But it worked.

Maybe, depends on if he got picked later. Makes you pretty identifiable until you escape and then make it to a bathroom.

And he seemed very confident that it would, judging by the way he just casually strolled away afterward. Makes me wonder how many times it’s gotten him out of a jam.

Literally shit faced

I would have started with my arms, but oh well

Uh huh, practically a genius 🤥

But why on his face? That is the last thing the security touches. His arms and legs would make more sense, so they avoid trying to restrain you. But I guess the pure shock of disgust and craziness in highest on the face.

Im in security and there is almost a zero percent chance I'll handle someone with shit on their hands and face.

So you're saying there's a chance

Where does the shit come from though? All I can tell is it magically appears in his hand....

He reached into his pants obviously enough that seeing that and which sub I was in let me know he was about to shit into his own hand... The only mystery was what he was going to do with it.

It's impressive how quickly he accumulated such a substantial amount. I'm honestly amazed.

Did have those on the go? I mean, I can't even poop when I'm not at home.

Getting shitfaced tonight?

I'm soaked and soiled I'm brown

How did he have that sludgy sundae just in the chamber, ready to go?

The muscle control to squeeze one off while defending himself is insane. I’m guessing he had already shat himself.

Defecation is a common self-defense strategy in the wild.

Bruh... some people are drinking chocolate milkshakes when they read this...

Wtf even just happened

I think they smeared their own shit as a mask. That, or they let a fat one rip and also smeared on their face.

Shoplifter shit himself, graffled it out of his backside, and wiped it all over his face. Everyone else peaced out. "Not my job" territory.

"Graffled it out of his backside" made me laugh more than it should've

Pinkeye speedrun

That's doodoo face.

He stuck his hand down his pants and smeared his own shit all over his face. I think.

He reached in his pants and spread shit on his face.

He yelled "spider !!!"

No one cared who he was until he put on the mask.

What a shithead

Dude had a pocket full of dookie just waiting for this day

They rally round the family, with a pocket full of shit.

**SHITS ON MY FAAAACE**

Damn it, R Kelly.

Gonna dook on you, gonna shit on you, plip plop plip

>Either drop the hits like De La O or get the fuck off the commode This guy definitely got off the commode

"I've got a pocket full of dooky and my home boys do too!" That's how the lyrics go, right?

he did it all for the nookie

what a deeply disgusting being. I don't even want to know what he did to be forcibly dragged. The way he naturally walks away with a smeared face, this dude is rotten inside.

If it's stupid, but it's works, it's not stupid? 

That’s how you get pinkeye.

Interesting… I’ll note this for later

The invisibility cloak!

Did he .... Did he just rub his own shit on his face????

I had to watch it three times before I saw smear shit on his face

Guaranteed he’s got warrants.

Damn crackhead look at you… ya got chocolate all over your face! This ain’t chocolate… it’s doo-doo baby!

What happened? I feel like I'm missing something here. Also looks like they are kidnapping him.

He put feces on his face, he probably had robbed something from the store and they were trying to hold him till police arrives but idk

Super effective

Walking away with a skip in his step like 🎵doo doo doody doo🎵

it did work though guy walked right out 😂

So you just shit yourself, dig it out and rub it all over your face and cops let you go? Makes a note. Skinny guy and that's a huge duke.

What a fucking degenerate.

Well he escaped shoplifting charges but has to be known forever as the "shit-faced shoplifter" to all his friends and family for the rest of time I honestly think I'd prefer the month in jail.

Did he just cover his face with his own shit? Wow.

The Doo Doo and Dash!!!

Shitfaced.

dem's is cheat codes is what it is

what a great way to escape a shitty situation 

Ok someone please explain what is going on

That's terrible

Ya know what they say, "if it works, it ain't stupid."

Not even remotely worth it. You have to live remembering that you did this. You will always be someone who rubbed shit on their own face. That's forever. I would also just like to point out to everyone giving him credit, he could have gotten the exact same results just putting it on his arms or chest. His *first choice* was his face.

Dude poop screened himself.

Do they teach this shit in self-defense classes?

Code brown, we have a code brown

That bloke was shit faced.

That’s racist that guy just committed brown face.

Bro just dominated everyone in the room

What is going on here?

What happened??

I have no idea what is going on here..

What a shitface

I... What am I missing.

Well, maybe someone else can, but I can’t figure out what he did. Just a little context would help.

Not quite shire what I'm seeing

His right hand, reached inside the back of his pants, took something out that looks like a roll of over-burnt croissant, then proceed to smear it in front of his face. Now replace “croissant” with your own imagination.

Yikes. Must be bad in here if I can't even see the comments

Hello?

wut is going on...?

Shit mask.

What a shit-for-brains

Poodator

Buy anything for $0 with this one weird trick!

Gengar learned Gunk Shot

Not his proudest moment in life, but he had to it.

Full on active camouflage

This man's playing 4D chess ♟️

I’ve never seen this form of defensive technique can this be learned?

When I saw him reaching for the pants, I knew this was gonna be bad, but not like that....

Dude has gotta be going to the food court to grab napkins right?

I... Gross

I thought all poo poo times are pee pee times.

$hit to the face No Jutsu

Man is seriously shitfaced to let one out that wet

BUT WHY ON HIS FACE??? INTIMIDATION???

He walked off like such a bad bitch

You guys can shit on command?

I had to watch it like 10 times to understand what happened. And when I did, I was shocked and then I laughed how well that genius move worked.

I have seen a few videos, sadly, where some perp seems to be able to produce a turd at will. Me... I have to sit and relax, I can't 'produce' like that. Maybe he has been practicing for the day he might need to 🤔