I wasn't on this train until I literally just read he's been married for like 2 years already. Absolutely lunatic behavior to do that while still "in college"
**SCOTLAND UPDATE**
Kate Forbes has announced that she will not be running to be leader of the SNP, leaving John Swinney currently unopposed.
As a result, it is possible that the Greens will rejoin a coalition with the SNP and there will be a majority government, however the terms of such an agreement will likely require heavy concessions from the SNP particularly surrounding commitments to the environment and trans rights (which is a good thing, but may not be popular with the right of the party)
Also reminder to everyone, the Pibs rule will still be in effect during Pride Month. So there will still be no saying nice or remotely sexually questioning things to Pibs even if he is the same gender as you.
That is all.
**Pride month idea:** I ban all the cishets
**Pros:** being cishet is punished
**Cons:** WCW probably dies and y’all make a new sub without me
Just spitballing here at this point
CJ’s exception for straight women just keeps convincing me further that he’s no so concerned about pride as much as he is having all the men to himself.
I think whenever you get enough demerits in June you are obligated to post a vocaroo of you singing a song of our choice
Edit: I say our but I really mean The Gay Committee^(TM), you know, whoever creates the Gay Agenda
In the two weeks since Duolingo added the morning achievement, I already have 30 lessons before 9am. Meanwhile, I am at a 195 day streak and still only have 3 lessons after 10pm.
**Pride month idea:** issue daily demerits to any person who is cishet and who does not flirt with someone of the same gender
**Pros:** promotes homosexuality, provides a punishment for heterosexuality
**Cons:** difficult to track, may need to employ others for assistance on this task and then things get too complicated for a month-long bit and, in all likelihood, I'll fizzle out on it after a few days
I shall continue brainstorming
> difficult to track, may need to employ others for assistance on this task and then things get too complicated for a month-long bit
Someone smarter than me, figure out how to script this.
my corollary to any of these ideas, as usual, is that straight women generally get a pass because you already have to deal with enough with being attracted to men
it's really just the cishet men who are in the crosshairs
My birthday is really close to Mother’s Day and it’s really killing the vibe since I’m just stressed about making sure Mother’s Day is good for my wife.
See the thing about EVs from China is, they already make electric scooters that occasionally burst into flames so I'm all good, thank you. I don't care how cheap they are
I had to do all that after the george Floyd protests in 2020. I was feeling a tangible physical effect from the weeks of anxiety of watching police just absolutely brutalize people.
I have so many subs blocked that when I go to the popular tab my first three results are lawncare, comics, and awwww
And some days I think about taking away comics right to exists on that feed
I am dragging this morning. Dog woke me up at 4 to go outside, so I was standing out back in gym shorts shirtless looking like an absolute lunatic in 50 degree weather.
Really setting myself up for success to watch this basketball game tonight that starts at, checks notes, 9 pm Eastern. Fuck right off with that start time Silver.
I think everyone who has a dog knows that that is not lunatic behavior, it's just a standard Thursday
The fun for me is that I take Bianca out in the front yard and not the back yard because the back yard is at basement level so I get to look like a lunatic in the front yard
hello
I am watching many of you be both cisgender and heterosexual in your sickening ways
I have been biding my time
But just know that this year, it is not Pride Month in June
It is Wrath Month
>!I actually have no plan for the new June bit yet so I will absolutely fail to live up to the hype that I am creating right now!<
Death Becomes Her is super gay? I've seen this multiple times and never got that vibe.
Let me get out ahead of this and just start marking down my violations preemptively.
It is not necessarily in and of itself a gay movie, but the gays *love* it
It gets referenced all the time in drag performances and such. For example, in the most recent season of Drag Race, [two of the queens won "immunity potions" early in the season that they got to either use for themselves or give to another queen to save them](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/NMG6JVTh1Q0) lol
So watching an episode of 4 weddings
-one of the weddings is on a plantation
-there were 2 African American brides
-the plantation wedding won
-and the honeymoon that they won is to.. Israel
😬😬
Real talk, I’m pretty optimistic after a month on the job. I feel competent, I like my team, I’m making comfortable income, and I bought a house. After a pretty shitty five years, I think the winds are changing.
What a guy.
Also, I think you're making far more than comfortable income. You're catching up for years of being behind (looking at myself in the mirror) but you're there, bud.
A nurse gave me a demo on how to take my T yesterday and said if I don’t wanna buy a sharps container I can use an old sturdy container like a milk jug. So I’ve been thinking about what the funniest thing to use would be and so far it’s a pickle jar.
I think it is priced similarly to the premade wraps, which they aren't a bad deal. But yeah, that's pretty bad. I don't eat PB&J so I won't be getting it, but someone is gonna have some sticker shock when they go to the counter.
Were the Guardians expected to be so good this year? I don't remember much buzz about them, but then again people frequently forget the AL Central exists so that might skew things.
My gut told me that they were going to win somewhere between 77-85 games this season and finish in 2nd in the AL Central, and that was the general consensus among sportswriters as well. I had (and still have) some questions about their starting pitching depth, there are some potential holes in the lineup, and to some degree their success is a little more luck-dependent than for other teams with how much emphasis they put on just putting the ball in play and having good baserunning as opposed to hitting for power.
Kwan and Josh Naylor are both off to incredible starts though, Andres Gimenez has brought his bat back to his career average after a bit of a down year least year (and with how good his glove is, that translates to something like 6 WAR), the bullpen has been great, the defense has been good, and the starters have been serviceable
I think the really surprising thing about all of it for me is that José Ramirez isn't even off to a very good start. His bat has been basically exactly league average so far this year, and he's usually a good bit better than that. If and when his bat comes around, it's going to be real nice lol
✋
I predicted they'd be good. Not this good but I think the new manager solves many of last year's problems. Much of the staff still remained though so it's not turbulent.
I love Tito but someone with a better understanding of analytics is helping alot.
https://preview.redd.it/yqyw7opg7zxc1.jpeg?width=3780&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=790c68010774a5af1b32371609918df46061c682
when the john denver music comes on at the function
Good morning I hate Bo Nix
I really, really hope Bo Nix proves the haters wrong
I hope he proves Matis correct
He is a Denver drafted qb so
I wasn't on this train until I literally just read he's been married for like 2 years already. Absolutely lunatic behavior to do that while still "in college"
woah that's wild
He is 37 years old tbf
You wouldn't tell that to Bo Nix's face
M O R N I N G R E L E A S E
More like B.O. Nix because he stinks, amirite?
I think all this hate is to build up sexual tension Enemies to lovers in June
He is kinda cute tho 😳
**SCOTLAND UPDATE** Kate Forbes has announced that she will not be running to be leader of the SNP, leaving John Swinney currently unopposed. As a result, it is possible that the Greens will rejoin a coalition with the SNP and there will be a majority government, however the terms of such an agreement will likely require heavy concessions from the SNP particularly surrounding commitments to the environment and trans rights (which is a good thing, but may not be popular with the right of the party)
My new legal assistant sucks.
Hire me, I'm a criminal
Pibs?
Calm down shroom let's keep it PG
Not now, Chase
Chase
You and me both, buddy
No, just me
I am also Chase
Fake news
You are incorrect
I'm pretty confident I'm correct
Also reminder to everyone, the Pibs rule will still be in effect during Pride Month. So there will still be no saying nice or remotely sexually questioning things to Pibs even if he is the same gender as you. That is all.
Idk Pibs has "bi" in the middle of you spell it backwards
sbip
Breakfast bagel breakfast bagel breakfast bagel Bagel for breakfast!
https://i.makeagif.com/media/6-07-2023/_UtfTK.gif
Bagels may be the goat Any toppings?
Breakfast bagel…. Sammich! The bagel is the topping!!! What a time to be alive
Follow up question: how much coffee have you had
Half of the mug so far
Excellent job keep going
Finished
Being denied humanitarian aid at work (They're making me sit in a meeting while I'm hungry)
totally violates the Geneva confection
I scheduled my bachelor party for June I figured there's no better month for 5 dudes to go out and have fun together without any women involved.
**Pride month idea:** I ban all the cishets **Pros:** being cishet is punished **Cons:** WCW probably dies and y’all make a new sub without me Just spitballing here at this point
If I'm going to be banned anyway. I should at least do something that deserves it.
being cishet is deserving of a ban!!!!!!!!
Only the Sith deal in absolutes.
/r/NoCJsClub
And that sub would have a higher ratio of straights by a little bit
I guess I just have to become gay then
I mean there is another way to be straight and not be banned...
I mean I feel like that's a good plan, but you could also be bi so that the whole being married to a woman thing doesn't become a sham
silly me I forgot about that option, that will be way easier to sell to the missus
Charlie increases productivity with *one simple trick*
Some people get furious when asked to do their job, it's wild
> Some people get furious meirl > when asked to do their job absolutelymeirl
I mean yeah I'm here to make money not do work
https://preview.redd.it/g47puqjol0yc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ad348e584da9b0fa902f0e8852e812e208cf643 Outdoor cat
Meow!
oh shit I just saw the LA kings were eliminated and the Vegas Knights are down 2-3 I haven't watched hockey at all this season but I am pleased
S T A R S
I would claim I didn't watch hockey all season as well if my team finished last in the entire league
i know some people are masochists but I just ain't interested in watching tanking teams lol
We're called "sickos"
Dallas woke up and has won three in row.
Pls make it 4
They were my cup pick 🫡
every dallas sports team winning a champy recently before the cowboys win is my favorite timeline
ZAMN ZADDY
Yes! Hahaha! Yes!
CJ’s exception for straight women just keeps convincing me further that he’s no so concerned about pride as much as he is having all the men to himself.
🌎👨🏼🚀🔫👨🏼🚀
OH NO MY SUBTERFUGE HAS BEEN UNCOVERED
I think whenever you get enough demerits in June you are obligated to post a vocaroo of you singing a song of our choice Edit: I say our but I really mean The Gay Committee^(TM), you know, whoever creates the Gay Agenda
You’re gonna do this on purpose to dunk on us with some angelic singing voice.
More likely to have me me tipsily trying to sing Fat Bottom Girls
BAH GAWD THAT'S JAWN'S MUSIC
that was my plan too tbh.
This question is for CJ only, no one else is allowed to click on it >!Whatchu gon do wit all that ass, all that ass inside them jeans!<
>!IMMA MAKE MAKE MAKE MAKE YOU SCREAM!< >!MAKE YOU SCREAM MAKE YOU SCREEAAAAMMMM!<
I got to ride bikes today. Today is a good day.
Why the hell is an NBA game on the east coast starting at 9pm EST???
EDT* you fukn MONGREL
Sickos.
/u/jaytuck25 We got a live one. But, yes. It is absolute horseshit.
tysm
In the two weeks since Duolingo added the morning achievement, I already have 30 lessons before 9am. Meanwhile, I am at a 195 day streak and still only have 3 lessons after 10pm.
195 day streak? Duo might let you see your family soon
*Duo podría dejarte ver a tu familia pronto.
We’re trapped together so that’s nice
What language are you learning?
Estoy aprendiendo español
Por supuesto
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Mostly learning words. And eventually learning how to use the language as a byproduct of that
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I hear babbel is better for actual learning but sadly has no free version
**Pride month idea:** issue daily demerits to any person who is cishet and who does not flirt with someone of the same gender **Pros:** promotes homosexuality, provides a punishment for heterosexuality **Cons:** difficult to track, may need to employ others for assistance on this task and then things get too complicated for a month-long bit and, in all likelihood, I'll fizzle out on it after a few days I shall continue brainstorming
Happy to be of service. Anything to punish the straights
> difficult to track, may need to employ others for assistance on this task and then things get too complicated for a month-long bit Someone smarter than me, figure out how to script this.
Non-binary people be like “This is impossible for me.”
> any person who is cishet non-binary folks are safe by virtue of being non-binary!
Ah, missed that.
Do I get extra credit for the flirting I do with you in the non-Pride months?
yes you have built up a bit of a buffer I think
I'm lucky all the girls in here are such qts
my corollary to any of these ideas, as usual, is that straight women generally get a pass because you already have to deal with enough with being attracted to men it's really just the cishet men who are in the crosshairs
My magic may not be powerful enough 😭
I know I know but what if I WANT to participate
then be as gay as your heart wants you to be!
My birthday is really close to Mother’s Day and it’s really killing the vibe since I’m just stressed about making sure Mother’s Day is good for my wife.
See the thing about EVs from China is, they already make electric scooters that occasionally burst into flames so I'm all good, thank you. I don't care how cheap they are
I hope daddy Giannis plays tonight
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I had to do all that after the george Floyd protests in 2020. I was feeling a tangible physical effect from the weeks of anxiety of watching police just absolutely brutalize people.
It's a really sad state that policing is in right now, and honestly has been for a while.
Yeah the fucked up thing was that didn’t radicalize me, it just reaffirmed everything I already thought
I filter so many subs, so many subs that just do nothing but bitch and whine about every little thing. Imagine living life like that.
I have so many subs blocked that when I go to the popular tab my first three results are lawncare, comics, and awwww And some days I think about taking away comics right to exists on that feed
I am dragging this morning. Dog woke me up at 4 to go outside, so I was standing out back in gym shorts shirtless looking like an absolute lunatic in 50 degree weather. Really setting myself up for success to watch this basketball game tonight that starts at, checks notes, 9 pm Eastern. Fuck right off with that start time Silver.
I think everyone who has a dog knows that that is not lunatic behavior, it's just a standard Thursday The fun for me is that I take Bianca out in the front yard and not the back yard because the back yard is at basement level so I get to look like a lunatic in the front yard
I should start taking her out front for the rest of the block to see 😂. Back yard is fully fenced in so the chances of anyone seeing me are minimal.
Good morning everyone!
mornin
Byniri returned
Big if true.
👀
Where were you 🫵🏽 when Livvy Dunne 🤸rizzed up ⬆️ Baby 👶Gronk and made him the 🆕 drip 💧 king 👑?
hello I am watching many of you be both cisgender and heterosexual in your sickening ways I have been biding my time But just know that this year, it is not Pride Month in June It is Wrath Month >!I actually have no plan for the new June bit yet so I will absolutely fail to live up to the hype that I am creating right now!<
I thought >!not living up to the hype!< was your bit >!OHHHHHH GOT EM!<
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I believe in you! I’ve lived my life until now for the next Pride Month bit
I have my potion Don't make me do it Do NOT make me do it
[NOW, a warning?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XC9SegMF0Ow) yes, I picked a super gay movie to respond to you on purpose
Death Becomes Her is super gay? I've seen this multiple times and never got that vibe. Let me get out ahead of this and just start marking down my violations preemptively.
It is not necessarily in and of itself a gay movie, but the gays *love* it It gets referenced all the time in drag performances and such. For example, in the most recent season of Drag Race, [two of the queens won "immunity potions" early in the season that they got to either use for themselves or give to another queen to save them](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/NMG6JVTh1Q0) lol
Of *course* the gays love it It's got more camp than a white suburban dude in the summer
Ah! That makes way more sense! Thanks for the education.
[BEGONE, WITCH!](https://i.imgur.com/E4S3uZo.jpg)
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
The most powerful straight magic known to man!
So watching an episode of 4 weddings -one of the weddings is on a plantation -there were 2 African American brides -the plantation wedding won -and the honeymoon that they won is to.. Israel 😬😬
Was the bride raised by white people?
💀
I’m just here ~~so I don’t get fined ~~ *to assure you I’m not dead^yet*
I'm still going to fine you
Jokes on you, I’m *skint*
🐸🧔2️⃣0️⃣0️⃣4️⃣
*Only on the insiiiiiiiiiiiidddddeeeeee*
Real talk, I’m pretty optimistic after a month on the job. I feel competent, I like my team, I’m making comfortable income, and I bought a house. After a pretty shitty five years, I think the winds are changing.
What a guy. Also, I think you're making far more than comfortable income. You're catching up for years of being behind (looking at myself in the mirror) but you're there, bud.
Wikipedia
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🤔
It’s my Friday!!!
Woo Hoo!
A nurse gave me a demo on how to take my T yesterday and said if I don’t wanna buy a sharps container I can use an old sturdy container like a milk jug. So I’ve been thinking about what the funniest thing to use would be and so far it’s a pickle jar.
You need to make a sticker that says Boy Juice Needles
Yes
do it
Jimmy gets Sydney Sheen gets Libby You know what I get? >!P A I D!<
Carl gets Judy
Carl got Jimmys mom
I accidentally got to work 48 minutes early.
My favorite part about the Miami Heat is how they needed to have an extended marketing campaign to make their fan base think they have a culture.
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Is there anything there that's a value? I remember the sub I had was okay one time but that was pre-covid
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Oof that's no fun. There's hardly any convenience left when things are expensive to a consumer.
Wawa charges $4.79 for a prepackaged PB&J.
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I think it is priced similarly to the premade wraps, which they aren't a bad deal. But yeah, that's pretty bad. I don't eat PB&J so I won't be getting it, but someone is gonna have some sticker shock when they go to the counter.
even banana not immune to inflation
I like saying random shit like "Objection, your honor. What that mouf do?" and I'm not ashamed to admit that
one thing I think you all need to consider is that Steven Kwan
Also fuck Justin Verlander
I like the part where he's below .500 against us in his career
Were the Guardians expected to be so good this year? I don't remember much buzz about them, but then again people frequently forget the AL Central exists so that might skew things.
My gut told me that they were going to win somewhere between 77-85 games this season and finish in 2nd in the AL Central, and that was the general consensus among sportswriters as well. I had (and still have) some questions about their starting pitching depth, there are some potential holes in the lineup, and to some degree their success is a little more luck-dependent than for other teams with how much emphasis they put on just putting the ball in play and having good baserunning as opposed to hitting for power. Kwan and Josh Naylor are both off to incredible starts though, Andres Gimenez has brought his bat back to his career average after a bit of a down year least year (and with how good his glove is, that translates to something like 6 WAR), the bullpen has been great, the defense has been good, and the starters have been serviceable I think the really surprising thing about all of it for me is that José Ramirez isn't even off to a very good start. His bat has been basically exactly league average so far this year, and he's usually a good bit better than that. If and when his bat comes around, it's going to be real nice lol
✋ I predicted they'd be good. Not this good but I think the new manager solves many of last year's problems. Much of the staff still remained though so it's not turbulent. I love Tito but someone with a better understanding of analytics is helping alot.
[Millennials make their homes shittier pt 5](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4dObVdryCB/?igsh=MXdvOHE5ZGl1dGhiag==)
Holy shit just refinish the hardwood so it’s darker you lazy ass lol
I understand now what AB meant by "No White Women"
\#notallwhitewomen
this has got to be on purpose to get people mad right? Right? what the fuck
That painted floor is going to look like shit in a couple of years
https://preview.redd.it/yqyw7opg7zxc1.jpeg?width=3780&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=790c68010774a5af1b32371609918df46061c682 when the john denver music comes on at the function
dead fucking thread my god wake da fuck up
🐻💤
Morning lads
bonjour monsieur
Gute Morgen
Go up to a random pregnant woman and claim to be the father
I would sooner not do that
That's okay. You don't have to.
Then I will not. How is Larry
Larry went back to bed after he posted last comment lol