T O P

  • By -

kel_dar

I can feel the ABS crunching underfoot


blockman2803

I thought I broke my car the first time my ABS deployed


PasswordIsAbsolute

really? they make us deploy it in driver's ed


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

did that earlier this week, luckily i could just drive away with nothing but a scratch


[deleted]

[удалено]


JannaSnakehole

It’s not the best way to learn is it? I feel you


[deleted]

We didn’t have new enough vehicles when we took drivers ed to have ABS. Scared the crap outta me when i got a newer car.


awfuleldritchpotato

Where are you from? I'm from Indiana and we weren't required to take drivers Ed. I never did. Had to find out most things the hard way. I know some places require it, though.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RembrandtAction

...I used to hydroplane for fun back at uni good times gooooood tiiiimes


getovwr

Engage neutral when aquaplaning on an automatic car? Have you ever driven an automatic car or aquaplaned?


BossLackey

Yeah I though my pedal stem was crumbling into gravel.


qyka1210

> knows what a pedal stem is > doesn't know what ABS is


Puzzleheaded-Quote77

Just curbed both my driver-side wheels because a very light dusting of snow covered the black ice and obscured it.


Erdnuss-117

I totalled my first car ln that scenario. I eel you


misterpickles69

When your car hits the curb and you feel quite perturbed, that’s a Moray.


[deleted]

When the car starts to slide and you almost fucking died that's a Morayyyyy


Nobleman04

When you damage your wheels, and your friends sing of eels, That's a morayyy


Familiar-Luck8805

Bada bada bing, Repairs gonna sting, Thaaaat's a moray.


Terminator7786

When you grip the steering wheel, and hear crunching steel, that's a morayyyy.


tallsoundguy

When the eel bites your head, bites it clean off and your dead. That's a Mor ray.


ImaAs

r/angryupvote


mtrayno1

When your car hits the ice and your rims pay the price, that’s a Morayyyy.


[deleted]

That is a perfect 10 comment. Thank you.


cyberrich

what kinda eel we talkin about here freakazoid. I might be in dammit.


ScarletDarkstar

A very slippery eel.


Ag3ntM1ck

Eels! Eels! Eels! Eels!


cyberrich

# LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO >!:goatses:!<


outinthecountry66

Eels up inside ya! finding an entrance where they can!


luffydkenshin

Elements of the past and future combining to be something not as good as either.


Soiled-Mattress

That is some pretty niche Boosh referencing right there.


Ag3ntM1ck

Edit:. https://youtu.be/Z_wgP8JwRcU


BernieTheDachshund

Escalators!


IDK_khakis

His hovercraft is full of them.


DeeTee79

Someone has been learning Hungarian.


mesablue

Unagi.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BernieTheDachshund

"I eel you" is the best thing I've read today lol.


woozlewuzzle29

Is he gifting an eel? Is he a wizard who can turn people into eels? We may never know!


tgw1986

There's dozens of us! RIP to my old Honda Accord. That curb did her so dirty.


1202_ProgramAlarm

If you're the accord owner that sideswiped a curb trying to race me in Salem, Oregon, I'm here to say there was no ice there and we both know it


Hidesuru

I had a driveway that was slightly sloped to one side, and the ground over there dropped rather quickly (culvert). It was covered in ice and I didn't know... I moved sightly and started sliding real slow. Stopped everything and applied the brakes, and just kept sliding. Reeeeeeal slow like. Till two wheels went off the edge and thankfully bit into the grass / dirt there. There was no getting it back on the pad though and trying just made it worse so I just went back inside and gave up. Next morning I was staring at it trying to decide what to do and a couple neighbors happened to drive by in a jeep with a winch and helped me out. Even that was hair raising due to the angles involved. It was up on three wheels (maybe two) before it sorta popped around and straightened out to be properly pulled.


Puzzleheaded-Quote77

Nothing worse than that feeling of zero control and just being along for the ride.


Unlimited_Bacon

The sudden realization that whether or not you are going to die is completely out of your control. If there was a truck in the other lane, or if my car had drifted to the right...


Hidesuru

Yeah it sucks! Just thankful I've not run into that on an actual road. I did come close though with another car in the same neighborhood though. Section of road dips down for a long ways then back up. Car started to lose traction near the top of it coming out. I barely eked over the hilltop, but really thought I was just going to slide backwards into the valley for a bit. Fun times.


BetFun7818

Absolutely! One of the scariest situations to be in!


InTheAleutians

I went into a ditch last week. Snow dust on ice is just unfair.


TheMacMan

Sucks, normally I run slightly wider than factory tires, as they handle better. But in the winter you don't want wider tires, so I run standard sized on the rims. So switching to steelies in the winter with those tires is worth it.


Puzzleheaded-Quote77

Yeah, I had plans on going to wider tires but I just got this a few months ago and it had brand new pirellis so I just kept them on. My actual plan was new wheels and then sell these, Audi wheels generally pull in decent money, but now I am going to have to get these two repaired.


Verified765

If you have 2 sets of rims you should be running winters or even better studded tires.


[deleted]

Slipperier than Teflon Don...


Pong1968

For me, I don't see that shite until I'm right on top of lol


SnooCakes6195

Or until I get out of my flipped ass truck and look at the street for answers


throwawayaccountGDG

i dont see that shit til my cars at a 45 degree angle


msanderson10

I'm from the Southern US and it strikes horror in mine.


dev_doll

Right This is why the southern US shuts down.


TheNoxx

This is also decently more obvious than the black ice I've seen in the South during winter. The black ice I hit once on my motorcycle was on somewhat fresh asphalt and was fucking *invisible* unless you got on your hands and knees to see it. Lucky for me, it was at slow speeds in a residential area, going around a corner.


dev_doll

black ice is almost impossible to see...


JiraiyaIsNoLyah

And impossible not to smell once a day if you're a mechanic...


backyardVillager

Some people won't get that. Black seems to be everywhere sometimes.


Fugacity-

It's transparent and sneaky


2KilAMoknbrd

[It'll rob you of your balance](https://youtu.be/efiW2K8gASM?t=32)


[deleted]

But we also get shit on for it :0


dev_doll

That is bc northerners do not realize the south is not equipped plow trucks and enough salt to open cities. These things are apart of their daily winter lives. So when they hear the south is "shut down" they don't understand why... Not all...but alot


danceswithwool

That and we don’t get snow by itself. The roads are almost always like this of it snows so isn’t just a matter of snow plows and on with your day. We’ll barely get any snow and yet have treacherous road conditions statewide.


Fenastus

And exactly nobody runs winter tires, because why would you when it snows once every other year?


danceswithwool

Yup. We don’t prepare for it because it’s not a regular part of our lives. Just easier to not have school that day and then go back to normal.


Fenastus

Yeah, I grew up in the south where it never snows and now I live where it snows quite a bit. The attitudes are very different


danceswithwool

Yup. We don’t prepare for it because it’s not a regular part of our lives. Just easier to not have school that day and then go back to normal.


[deleted]

I'm in Arizona and apparently this is black ice?


zz_z

It’s not, this is super obvious thick ice, black ice is thin pristine ice you can’t really see, it just looks like a patch of wet pavement.


intashu

At some point you treat EVERY darker spot of road like it is ice. Because the salted areas look Grey.. So If it's any darker.. It's likely from moisture freezing there!


Jabberwocky416

I’m from the PNW and this picture definitely scares me


Wah_Gwaan_Mi_Yute

I’m in Miami and idk wtf I’m even looking at 😂


Heins

I live in Wisconsin I can drive my 96 Grand Prix in a foot of snow no problem but this right here is what kills people or makes them wreck. People call it black ice but its basically Ice that blends in with the road and as soon as you hit it you have basically zero control of your car and basically pray one of your tires hits the pavement and grips before sliding into something.


msanderson10

Black ice on a road. Super dangerous.


Wah_Gwaan_Mi_Yute

Ice? You mean the stuff they crush up to make pina coladas?


TheSteelCoconut

Just had to drive through that horror 10 minutes ago. Slid through 2 stop lights and did a 360


amiinvisibleyet

Jeez... glad you're okay


TheSteelCoconut

Thank you <3 random human. Sleep tight :)


AsunderXXV

So how you make it home though? Or to any destination? Is it just a matter of driving really slow? Or chains on the tires? Sorry, never lived in snowy areas... On another note, glad you're OK.


TheSteelCoconut

So if possible, just don’t drive. If you absolutely have to take gravel roads. If that’s not possible drive a max of 50 mph even on the highway. Stay away from semis. If you can’t stop, it’ll take them waaaaay longer to stop. You could chain your tires but I don’t think that’s really common where I live (Northeastern Nebraska). If you have sand or salt bags, put them in the back so you don’t drift since most cars are front wheel drive. So essentially, don’t move if you can. If you have to go slow and avoid smooth roads. I hope this helps you and anyone not accustomed to the cold weather conditions


AsunderXXV

Thank you! 50mph in the highway?! I've seen videos where it looks like they're going 20 and still crashing!


Andernerd

Yeah, even 50 mph is often too fast. I would only drive 50 mph in snowy conditions if there was very light traffic. If I noticed ice on the road, I'd definitely be going even slower. It's a little scary learning how long it takes to stop on ice or snow for the first time.


TheSteelCoconut

Our roads are pretty empty. I’m assuming you’re watching the videos where idiots are flying through fog


Cardssss

1st rule of driving in the northern states/countries is to always drive the conditions. I live in northern Minnesota and have seen many times the highways moving at an absolute snails pace.


Varth919

I understand black ice sucks, but running stop signs and doing donuts is not appropriate! /s


TheSteelCoconut

Saw this instantly and was almost fuming lol. It’s tradition in the Midwest


Cessnaporsche01

*Deja vu! I've just been in this place before...*


Type7F

Tires gain friction the faster they go. Friction causes heat. Heat is the mortal enemy of ice. Conclusion: Driving at top speed will cause enough friction heat to instantly melt ice on the roadway, providing enough traction to be safe. Follow me for more winter driving tips and tricks.


joeChump

You’d better take out that extended warranty I’ve been calling you about.


diacrum

Oh, so you’re the one! I’ve blocked your number countless times, yet you keep calling!


joeChump

I have like 4000 phone numbers, besides which I’m lying underneath your bed right now. One signature is all I need and I’ll even throw in a massage.


Samiel_Fronsac

Foot massage? Sign me up!


joeChump

Last time I checked our files yours was only 4.5 inches long but if you want to pretend it’s the full 12 inches then we’ll round it up and call it a foot. The customer is always right.


Hidesuru

Woooooow, lol. *Slow clap*


mrchingchongwingtong

*my god*


libmrduckz

i don’t think god was a party to *that* massacre


diacrum

😱


zxcoblex

Additionally, the faster you drive, the sooner you’ll be at your destination and out of the bad road conditions.


Kickflip2K

thats right the faster you drive you can make it past the crash before it happens...


zxcoblex

Right? This guy gets it. Growing up in Northern Maine, I always found it funny when we’d be on the interstate doing about 40mph because of a snow storm, and you’d see people in an SUV fly by you doing 70. More often than not, you’d be doing 40 past them in a mile or two because they were in a ditch.


Kickflip2K

yep see, its obvious they shoulda been doing 100 that way they would of gotten past the ditch before they crashed...


VxJasonxV

I didn’t know submarines traveled above ground.


TheMacMan

As I always point out at large events like leaving a sports stadium, "This would all do much faster if everyone pushed."


Hidesuru

Oh, hey there, Satan! How ya been?


[deleted]

r/shittylifeprotips


NefariousnessQuiet22

Seems legit. Don’t let your insurance company see this though.


LobsterKris

Insurance companies try to hide this one simple trick


NefariousnessQuiet22

You forgot “in your area” and copious exclamation marks!


SnooCakes6195

Also, the faster you go the less time your tires will have to be in contact with the ice!


Bammalam102

Thats why your not supposed to brake, you're actually supposed to gun it and melt the ice.


Schroedinbug

Instructions unclear, spedo says 150mph, but I'm pretty sure I can walk faster than this from looking out the window.


aviationdrone

This reminded me of my physics teacher asking how fast you need to throw a snowball to have it melt on impact.


Shopworn_Soul

That's actually kind of an interesting question. [Seems maybe your phsyics teacher wasn't the only one?](https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/how-fast-must-you-throw-a-snowball-against-a-wall-in-order-to-make-it-melt.140871/)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Spare_Competition

Is it in a frictionless vacuum? Because then the ice will just sublimate, no matter how fast you throw it


glynndah

I turned my ordinary pickup truck into a fantastic flying machine on a road surface just like this one. Through a guard rail and fifty feet into a farm field with nary a tire track to be seen. The flight was quite an experience but the landing was awfully abrupt.


EducatedJooner

Not sure if it's intentional, but I enjoy your alliteration


glynndah

Alliteration is always intentional.


EducatedJooner

Not necessarily, but nevermind.


glynndah

Nice nonetheless.


AncientEldritch

Are you a writer? This reads really pleasantly.


glynndah

I dabble a bit.


207nbrown

#confused screaming Black ice


subnuggurat

Scary, tricky, *ruthless* stuff that black ice... A perfectly safe neighbourhood can be suddenly terrorized by the appearance of black ice


WhtChcltWarrior

Just the other day i was walking down the sidewalk and some black ice snuck up on me and robbed me…of my balance


ReadySteady_GO

Well maybe if that white snow wasn't putting down that black ice all the time it wouldn't be so dangerous Lol love key and peele. Was hoping to see this reference


hambone138

I scrolled through this just to see if key and Peele was mentioned!


vladdeh_boiii

Reminds me of that time I slipped on black ice downtown and got laughed at by another guy, only for him to instantly slip as well. Good times.


NSA_Chatbot

One time it was so icy that I almost ran myself over.


libmrduckz

also have slipped and walked up my own ass


NSA_Chatbot

Ah, I see you're a man of qwopture as well.


kytran40

Almost as terrifying as oppressive white snow


fatandfly

Ouch, that should just like something black ice would do.


[deleted]

It wouldn't be a problem, if the back ice wasnt oppressed by the white snow!


TomorrowNeverCumz

Obligatory Key and Peele https://youtu.be/efiW2K8gASM


YippieKayYayMrFalcon

iT’s Ok I hAvE fOuR wHeEl DrIvE


psychobetty303

This is the Texans that live in Colorado, that think 4 wheel drive means 4 wheel stop.


DMVgunnit

Don’t be ridiculous. “Texas edition” pickups are rear-wheel drive only.


psychobetty303

Haha fair point


yeetboy

This also applies to the entirety of southern Ontario.


DemonShadowsMom

Lol, yep.


Lilbrother_21

It's fun driving by Texans who bought Jeeps and can't drive them in the snow with my sedan


Verified765

I have a jeep with a decent lift, great for mud and other off reading. Worst vehicle for winter driving I have ever driven.


Lilbrother_21

Probably because rules of tire traction is opposite on the snow compared to regular off roading. You want more ground pressure instead of more surface area, so thinner tires do better than those big off road tires you typically see on Jeeps


Verified765

All of that plus it's a fair bit higher with a short wheel base. I personally considered it a road legal off road vehicle and did not use it as a daily driver unless my car was broke down.


EJ9074

And thats how a lot end up in the ditch


Bammalam102

I passed at least 5 trucks in the snowbanks in my kia forte this year


OrbAndSceptre

Four wheel drive is only useful in getting going. It does shit for slowing or stopping. I wish ads for them would be clearer.


EJ9074

Yes its not about just fourwheel drive its about how good the driver is


Liz4984

Says every GI that moved on base in Anchorage Alaska!!


DoctorWhisky

If you can’t Dodge it, RAM it!


mumblesjackson

Says every Phoenix and Tucson kid upon their first snow experience in Flagstaff.


ShaoLimper

Legit issue I have with my Subaru is the full time 4 wheel. I can drive forward with little to no slippage and have no idea how the roads truly are until I use my breaks. I might be able to accelerate and steer better than other vehicles but that means absolutely nothing when it comes to stopping Edit: it wasn't mentioned because it wasn't the topic but OBVIOUSLY your tires are much more important than the drive train. Also regardless of some kid acting like a jerk I'm the replies here, you all need to remember that if the road conditions cause concern for whether or not your vehicle can handle them, then slow down anyway.


cozmokittylord

*sigh* *slides past stopsign at 5mph*


libmrduckz

Tesla flex?


FireLordObama

Fuck I nearly rear ended someone in a snowstorm when I was going 10km/hr and he was 40 feet in front of me. Ice sucks.


cozmokittylord

Yeah lol, my car is old enough to not have abs and it just slides everywhere if you aren't careful


FunnyItWorkedLastTim

I cannot see this without thinking of the Key and Peele sketch. Black Ice does not exist without White Snow.


cptcavemann

[black ice](https://youtu.be/efiW2K8gASM)


thafloorer

Just don’t turn, stop, or accelerate and you’ll be fine


SparkyBomb

Trex rules when it comes to ice: NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS


MiksuPiksu196

Every winter. First it snows. Then temperature goes above 0°C, snow melts a little bit, then it freezes. Gotta love it


BangorSkis

You know those “This is my Nth Subaru” decals? This is how you +1 your Subaru decals.


th3s1l3ncy

Im from brazil so i didn't umderstood,can someone explain ? Like this is ice and makes driving extremelly dangerous ?


Mourning_Gecko

It's black ice, which is nearly invisible on roads, so it's particularly dangerous


GoodAtExplaining

Yes.At certain times of year, snow can fall, melt into water, and when the temperature drops below 0 again a few hours later it freezes as a very thin layer of ice. Because it’s so thin you don’t know it’s there so you can’t slow down or steer safely before you hit it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


This_Daydreamer_

You know how you can convince your car to go where you want it to and stop when you need to? That doesn't happen on black ice.


[deleted]

It’s slippery so yes


[deleted]

[удалено]


hofford44

Thanks. I hate it.


Trainzguy2472

I tried to cross a road covered in black ice the other day, fell on my ass and couldn't get up without falling down again. During that time that I repeatedly fell, 2 cars almost hit me.


hvmmm

I just slipped on this picture


graphing-calculator

Is it just wet or are we going to slide into that wall? I guess we'll find out together!


Army0fMe

That looks like my wife and I are having a cozy night in together.


lesrolo51

Just canceled tomorrow's appointment because of this.


MonarchWhisperer

My mom's best friend died when she hit a patch of that. It's always so unexpected


Princess_Glitterbutt

Folks make fun of us in Oregon for "being afraid of 1in of snow" - but this is what our roads look like when it's "only an inch". Ice skating down a steep hill in a car is less fun and more terrifying.


Stealfur

Yarg! That there be black ice. It be the most dangerous ice ye may ever find when sailing the open roads. Tall tales tell of trucks and tractors alike meeting tragic and un-timely ends when traversing such traitorous roads.


Iunderstandthatsir

I'm from Florida. What is this picture?


NaughtAClue

Black ice on the roads. It’s very hard to see, and it’s slippery AF. As in your car is just suddenly going sideways kind of slippery


[deleted]

[удалено]


IAmNotMyName

Snow country wouldn't get like this. Roads would be well salted before this happens.


Long_shlong_dong

And school is still open with no delay


RadioKnight915

I felt my car groan in the garage


Iceangel711

My elbows and ass feel this...


_ILP_

If someone calls the police on it they’ll try to destroy it at least ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


dysoncube

The worst thing is driving in the dark, after a snow, and you can't tell what's ice, what's clear, what's packed snow, what's faded asphalt , what's dry asphalt


DLoIsHere

If you learned to drive in snow country, you are not afraid. You make sensible decisions, which sometimes includes staying the fuck home. Edit: And I don't know where the term "black ice" came from but when I was a kid in Michigan, it was just ice.


BernieTheDachshund

Nobody can drive on black ice.


This_Daydreamer_

Driving on black ice isn't so hard. Stopping or turning corners on black ice is, however, impossible.


DominusWolfGamer

Average Tuesday tbh


JAEM89

Dude....i just peed a little.


Chungasmn

As a plow driver for a city that is about our biggest fear. Add snow on top of that ramps up that fear ten fold.


amooz

Yup yup, that’s a good day to not leave the house