I think what you’re describing is called sondering, and I often feel the same sense of contentment watching the goings-on in the world around me. The difference in your versus your husband’s behavior may be a case of which hormones are being activated by which activities. I’m not an endocrinologist, but I can see that a longer hit of serotonin might be more satisfying than several shorter hits of dopamine.
I was just talking about this with the husband. I said I should’ve been a bird watcher. He said that doesn’t make much money. I said, well maybe if I drew them. He said, maybe if you drew them naked. I said I can’t draw birds naked, they’d look really weird. 🤦🏻♀️
I found this out as a kid; I knew the location of every nest in the neighborhood. I got a lot of fun out of watching the babies grow up, and providing feed for the exhausted parents. I had a pair of downy woodpeckers that brought their three hatchlings to eat the suet/peanut butter/cornmeal mix I made for them. The babies were like black and white butterballs and the parents were leeeeean by then. 😂
I used to study field guides, and to this day I can instantly ID birds I’ve never laid eyes on before.
I know which birds have moved in, and which had to leave as a result. I know who is passing through and who is nesting where. My neighbors think I'm strange for staring up at the trees.
Well this was something that was either learned by observation, deliberately taught, or both. Culturally this is very normal in my family so as a kid you see adults quietly watching all kinds of things and you also see how adults being watched include others for applied learning. In school observation was taught was part of science. Even in elementary school I had teachers take us outside and instruct us to sit somewhere and watch anything we found interesting. Field trips also had a heavy observation component. I definitely notice when I'm around people who don't get that the thing to be doing is just watching or literally cannot sit still to do this.
I was extremely poor growing up. Staring and observing was encouraged at school, but also I didn’t have much else to do. He had a cell phone in middle school and a computer. It’s a generational/class gap for sure, but I just wasn’t sure if others were aware or picking up on this much. I don’t Facebook much, I don’t have TikTok and I poke around on Reddit. Maybe I should’ve just googled it first instead of throwing my thoughts out on here.
Nope you're certainly not alone. And I agree class definitely played a role. Lots of my time growing up was spent staring out windows and just watching whatever was happening. But my wealthier friends always had things to entertain them or activities to attend. Even when I did have toys, books to read, or could watch tv with the family that didn't eliminate just sitting around watching whatever was going on. I still do that now, just sit and watch what's happening.
I’ve always this when I’m driving, pointing stuff out to the kids like a pretty could formation, sickle moon, sun dog, or something in the landscape. On walks it’s native plants and birds and fun little nature trivia. My youngest is 4 and he’s an avid observer/catcher of…everything.
I can do this in more active places. Like at an airport, or waiting for a train, or driving a car. I'll just watch the other people flow by or waiting, and ponder what their story might be.
If your husband can't focus on anything for longer than a few minutes and bounces from distraction to distraction, that doesn't sound like lack of patience. That sounds more like ADHD. I'm not a doctor and of course I can't diagnose anyone of anything, but if your kid starts to show the same tendencies it might be worth it to get him tested.
Oh he has diagnosed adhd. But this is also something I’ve noticed with his friends too, not as extreme. They are on their phones a lot and not paying attention to anything else, even when we are all together supposedly spending time together.
My husband gets impatient asking why it’s taking so long even sitting in the drive thru or waiting for food sitting inside. I have to remind him that it’s only been a few minutes. The screens make time go by faster. When we sit for the same amount of time as 5 or 10 minutes on a screen, it feels like an eternity and he’s just done. I’ve noticed that with employees of mine also.
It’s the age gap. My wife is 8 years younger than me. If her Apple CarPlay isn’t work in the first 15sec she’s slamming her finger on the play button explaining. “ fucking work” they grew up with screens. We didn’t so going outside or looking out a window was all we had to do before the internet was around.
Your post reminds me of the lyrics from three songs.
Fiona Apple’s song (Waltz) Better Than Fine. I adore this song and the lyrics are very fitting to this subject. The second verse in particular.
Lyrics:
If you don't have a song
to sing you're okay.
You know how to get along
Humming.
Hmm
If you don't have a date celebrate. Go out and sit on the lawn and do nothing. Cause it's just what you must do and nobody does it anymore.
No, I don't believe in the wasting of time. But I don't believe that I'm wasting mine.
If you don't have a point to make don’t sweat it. You'll make a sharp one being so kind and I'd sure appreciate it. Everyone else's goal's to get big-headed.
Why should I follow that beat being that I'm
better than fine.
[Fiona Apple - (Waltz) Better Than Fine.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=adaXr-mZdLw&pp=ygUcZmlvbmEgYXBwbGUgYmV0dGVyIHRoYW4gZmluZQ%3D%3D)
This is another song that talks about just sitting and watching the people outside from your window.
[The Olivia Tremor Control - The Sylvan Screen.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H74VcyVetrA&pp=ygUUU3lsdmFuIHNjcmVlbiBvbGl2aWE%3D)
Then of course there is
[John Lennon - Watching The Wheels.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pTvbB4br1pA&pp=ygUfam9obiBsZW5ub24gd2F0Y2hpbmcgdGhlIHdoZWVscw%3D%3D)
Bed Peace.
That’s exactly how my husband sees it. I tell him I’m watching things. He asks me, like what? I start naming off different things. The way the wind blows the leaves, the birds flying by or bouncing on limbs, the squirrels running across the top of the fence and jumping to the limbs, the neighbor getting something out of his truck, the cars driving by, the uneven wooden panels in the fence etc etc. He loses interest after the second or third thing listed.
I did that as a kid, sometimes. But even then I still always wanted to be *doing* something. I rarely watch TV or movies. It's too passive. I'll be playing a video game, with a YouTube video going, and scrolling reddit at the same time. I NEED stimulation or it's like my bones are trying to claw their way out of my skin. It's literally, physically uncomfortable to not have stimulation.
The best I can do is fishing because at least then I'm "on guard" for something exciting to happen.
Make it a point while you’re watching TV or a movie to put your phones across the room and don’t touch them until the show is over. Nothing is going to happen in that 30-60 minutes that can’t wait. If you’re worried about emergencies, turn the ringer on. BONUS: the people who make shows want you to pay attention to them, so this respects their work as well
I love just sitting and staring out the window. I've actually had several Uber drivers comment on it. They're like wow I rarely have anyone in my car who doesn't sit and stare at their phone and just enjoy the view. I also like standing at my window and just watching the intersection I live near.
This totally describes me. On a bus, I'm usually the only one not staring at a screen. I'm happy just to look out the window and watch the world around me.
Nature is so much more remarkable than anything we as humans can engineer.
There's nothing, as far as I can tell quite possibly, more incredible than observing the landscape that surrounds us with all the diversity of life, and sky, and the stars.
There's nothing more luxurious than living on this beautiful inhabitable Earth out in the vastness of space.
Me! I often look at my garden when I'm working from home. It's relaxing just looking birds, stray cats wandering a neighbor's yard, squirrels foraging for food.
I moved to the northeast US from Florida years ago, but in recent years I find myself staring out the window a lot. Holy shit did that hawk just pick something up? Can I get this murder of crows to be my friend? OMG A FOX FAMILY! It's part my adhd, part not having grown up seeing a lot of these animals, and part sheer wonder at nature.
Welcome to what I've heard the LOTR Fandom call The Hobbit stage of life. We spend so much time wanting to be elves and then reach a point where Shire-life appeals the most.
I think your husband might have ADD/ADHD and a smart phone addiction? Or too many devices? A friend with ADD/ADHD is exactly like this and instead of working, taking care of his kids, working on his home, etc. he just stays on his phone and online all night and day. The meds help him not do this as much.
I don't have this issue and actually limit time on the computer and phone.
I am just like you, OP. I find extreme interest in the world going on around me. I will sit & observe whatever is put in front of me.
I often find myself doing this in my front yard & have to check myself lest my neighbors think I’m a weirdo just standing there staring up at my tree for an hour (which I could easily do lol).
My wife has ADHD (or at least it runs in the family, and she is self-diagnosed), and I don't. I usually unwind at night and unplug. When it is nice outside, I will sit in my chair outside and watch birds and just listen to all of the noises of the outside world.
Doing this on holidays is especially peaceful. When my husband and I travel, we love just sitting in a cafe with a coffee and people watching for a couple of hours.
My suburban household in the US is boring and there’s literally nothing to see. When I go back to Eastern Europe, the cities being way denser and more compact, just sitting at the window or on the balcony, there’s plenty of people watching, stray dogs and cats, the occasional drunk bloke staggering about, a cat or dog fight by the rubbish bins, etc. Plenty to see, and I love doing it, so do my kids lol. In suburban US of A, the biggest thing to see is the garbage truck
Yeah. I feel like I spent a lot of my young life sitting in cars waiting, and this sort of thing was my escape.
When I'm stuck inside the house during the winter, or for other reasons, I'll sometimes put on a live feed of a beach or something just to have a small slice of this feeling.
I do this too! Sometimes in public too I just enjoy quietly watching people who come and go into a space. Sometimes it feels like I'm just an observer in life anyway.
I can relate.
My thoughts: I think it is because I am an INTP personality. (That means, beyond other things, that I am an "Intuitive, Introvert, Thinker, Perceiver".) If you don't know what that means, you maybe can have a look into the MBTI rabbit hole. There is a good test at 16personalities(dot)com.
It has helped me a lot to find out about that stuff. It has definitely enriched my life.
I enjoy flying(going to the airport, layovers, waiting in the security line, watching people board and deplane) just as much as the vacation destination. I have always wondered if I am a weirdo or if this is normal. I purposely pick my flights to have 3 hour layovers.
I can be both ways on this.
I grew up a lot like you. I think I was allowed an hour of TV time (videogames included) a day and maybe that was like 2 hours during summer. We did a lot of mucking about in woods and fields and whatever because we were in the middle of nowhere in the rural United States. I was never very excited about or good at sports, but we played all of them with the neighborhood kids (the "neighborhood kids" could've lived upwards of a 3 mile radius from where my sister and I lived, though). Lots of bike riding and nature observing was the name of the game.
When I got a little older it might've been more time allowed on screens - but when I was younger especially, I turned this observation of the world around me into illustrating things and got pretty okay at drawing as a result of that. It comes and goes in my current everyday life but I am probably wildly overstimulated...which leads me to how I can be like your husband:
I am regularly multi-tasking screens in a similar way to how your husband does. It doesn't help that I WFH and have 4 screens all day long, plus my phone... and when there are lulls in the work I might fire up a portable game as well... if I'm not doodling in notepads.
But then - I can also just sit out on the back porch and watch the birds and squirrels or even at night and just watch the stars in the sky. I can do this for hours if the mood strikes me.
My wife is much more like you in that she's not crazy about screens. She probably does more doom scrolling of news feeds or whatever than she'd like to admit, though. Her thing is she almost always has a book or three nearby. I don't feel like that's any different than reading something on a phone, personally. But yeah, she's 6 years older than I am... so I don't know if age has much to do with it but I do think we are a product of our environment so we adapt to whatever direction we're most exposed to.
I call it "people watching."
Free form of entertainment... especially on a nice spring morning on the weekends. I'll grab a coffee, and just go sit on a bench somewhere in a park.
He has been and he’s been diagnosed. He’s being treated, but time spent away from constant stimulation or instant gratification feels like eternity for him.
When I was single for a brief moment and was on dating apps one of my favorite first date/conversations to see what type of person someone was was to just ask if they wanted to sit on a park bench so we could judge people and talk shit about them together as they walked by. Pretty much everyone is like "oh my God I love judging people as they walk by that sounds fun".
I mean I'm sure people are going to say that's awful but it was just harmless fun. It gives you a avenue to just crack jokes to each other and get a feeling for sense of humor.
It’s one of my fave things to do. People watching. My ex and I knew we were right for each other (at least in this way) when we discovered that shared interest.
I think what you’re describing is called sondering, and I often feel the same sense of contentment watching the goings-on in the world around me. The difference in your versus your husband’s behavior may be a case of which hormones are being activated by which activities. I’m not an endocrinologist, but I can see that a longer hit of serotonin might be more satisfying than several shorter hits of dopamine.
Oh, this is interesting and I’ll look into this a bit more. I appreciate you sharing. Edit: Also, contentment is a good word for this.
Does your husband have ADHD?
Birds, man. The goddamn birds. I love them. I know all the locals by sight, a few by call. Greatest accomplishment of my 499.5 months on this rock.
I was just talking about this with the husband. I said I should’ve been a bird watcher. He said that doesn’t make much money. I said, well maybe if I drew them. He said, maybe if you drew them naked. I said I can’t draw birds naked, they’d look really weird. 🤦🏻♀️
I found this out as a kid; I knew the location of every nest in the neighborhood. I got a lot of fun out of watching the babies grow up, and providing feed for the exhausted parents. I had a pair of downy woodpeckers that brought their three hatchlings to eat the suet/peanut butter/cornmeal mix I made for them. The babies were like black and white butterballs and the parents were leeeeean by then. 😂 I used to study field guides, and to this day I can instantly ID birds I’ve never laid eyes on before.
I know which birds have moved in, and which had to leave as a result. I know who is passing through and who is nesting where. My neighbors think I'm strange for staring up at the trees.
I raw dog doctor visits these days. No book, no phone, just looking at nothing in particular.
Just me and these cotton balls
Sometimes I want a lot of input and have a lot of screens and things going on. Other times I just enjoy looking out the window or bird watching.
Well this was something that was either learned by observation, deliberately taught, or both. Culturally this is very normal in my family so as a kid you see adults quietly watching all kinds of things and you also see how adults being watched include others for applied learning. In school observation was taught was part of science. Even in elementary school I had teachers take us outside and instruct us to sit somewhere and watch anything we found interesting. Field trips also had a heavy observation component. I definitely notice when I'm around people who don't get that the thing to be doing is just watching or literally cannot sit still to do this.
I was extremely poor growing up. Staring and observing was encouraged at school, but also I didn’t have much else to do. He had a cell phone in middle school and a computer. It’s a generational/class gap for sure, but I just wasn’t sure if others were aware or picking up on this much. I don’t Facebook much, I don’t have TikTok and I poke around on Reddit. Maybe I should’ve just googled it first instead of throwing my thoughts out on here.
Nope you're certainly not alone. And I agree class definitely played a role. Lots of my time growing up was spent staring out windows and just watching whatever was happening. But my wealthier friends always had things to entertain them or activities to attend. Even when I did have toys, books to read, or could watch tv with the family that didn't eliminate just sitting around watching whatever was going on. I still do that now, just sit and watch what's happening.
I’ve always this when I’m driving, pointing stuff out to the kids like a pretty could formation, sickle moon, sun dog, or something in the landscape. On walks it’s native plants and birds and fun little nature trivia. My youngest is 4 and he’s an avid observer/catcher of…everything.
I can do this in more active places. Like at an airport, or waiting for a train, or driving a car. I'll just watch the other people flow by or waiting, and ponder what their story might be.
Yep, sometimes I just sit there like David Puddy
If your husband can't focus on anything for longer than a few minutes and bounces from distraction to distraction, that doesn't sound like lack of patience. That sounds more like ADHD. I'm not a doctor and of course I can't diagnose anyone of anything, but if your kid starts to show the same tendencies it might be worth it to get him tested.
Oh he has diagnosed adhd. But this is also something I’ve noticed with his friends too, not as extreme. They are on their phones a lot and not paying attention to anything else, even when we are all together supposedly spending time together. My husband gets impatient asking why it’s taking so long even sitting in the drive thru or waiting for food sitting inside. I have to remind him that it’s only been a few minutes. The screens make time go by faster. When we sit for the same amount of time as 5 or 10 minutes on a screen, it feels like an eternity and he’s just done. I’ve noticed that with employees of mine also.
It’s the age gap. My wife is 8 years younger than me. If her Apple CarPlay isn’t work in the first 15sec she’s slamming her finger on the play button explaining. “ fucking work” they grew up with screens. We didn’t so going outside or looking out a window was all we had to do before the internet was around.
It’s funny I am diagnosed adhd yet I am exactly like OP. It’s because I find the world itself very interesting so I can hyperfocus on observing it.
"sitting on the porch and watching the world go by" was a common activity as a youth.
Your post reminds me of the lyrics from three songs. Fiona Apple’s song (Waltz) Better Than Fine. I adore this song and the lyrics are very fitting to this subject. The second verse in particular. Lyrics: If you don't have a song to sing you're okay. You know how to get along Humming. Hmm If you don't have a date celebrate. Go out and sit on the lawn and do nothing. Cause it's just what you must do and nobody does it anymore. No, I don't believe in the wasting of time. But I don't believe that I'm wasting mine. If you don't have a point to make don’t sweat it. You'll make a sharp one being so kind and I'd sure appreciate it. Everyone else's goal's to get big-headed. Why should I follow that beat being that I'm better than fine. [Fiona Apple - (Waltz) Better Than Fine.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=adaXr-mZdLw&pp=ygUcZmlvbmEgYXBwbGUgYmV0dGVyIHRoYW4gZmluZQ%3D%3D) This is another song that talks about just sitting and watching the people outside from your window. [The Olivia Tremor Control - The Sylvan Screen.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H74VcyVetrA&pp=ygUUU3lsdmFuIHNjcmVlbiBvbGl2aWE%3D) Then of course there is [John Lennon - Watching The Wheels.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pTvbB4br1pA&pp=ygUfam9obiBsZW5ub24gd2F0Y2hpbmcgdGhlIHdoZWVscw%3D%3D) Bed Peace.
https://preview.redd.it/4ehw29aarl5d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c486e5e45c311514481698e476970817a0fd807a So you just stare?
That’s exactly how my husband sees it. I tell him I’m watching things. He asks me, like what? I start naming off different things. The way the wind blows the leaves, the birds flying by or bouncing on limbs, the squirrels running across the top of the fence and jumping to the limbs, the neighbor getting something out of his truck, the cars driving by, the uneven wooden panels in the fence etc etc. He loses interest after the second or third thing listed.
You two sound like a lovely couple! Thank you for the explanation.
I did that as a kid, sometimes. But even then I still always wanted to be *doing* something. I rarely watch TV or movies. It's too passive. I'll be playing a video game, with a YouTube video going, and scrolling reddit at the same time. I NEED stimulation or it's like my bones are trying to claw their way out of my skin. It's literally, physically uncomfortable to not have stimulation. The best I can do is fishing because at least then I'm "on guard" for something exciting to happen.
Make it a point while you’re watching TV or a movie to put your phones across the room and don’t touch them until the show is over. Nothing is going to happen in that 30-60 minutes that can’t wait. If you’re worried about emergencies, turn the ringer on. BONUS: the people who make shows want you to pay attention to them, so this respects their work as well
I love just sitting and staring out the window. I've actually had several Uber drivers comment on it. They're like wow I rarely have anyone in my car who doesn't sit and stare at their phone and just enjoy the view. I also like standing at my window and just watching the intersection I live near.
This totally describes me. On a bus, I'm usually the only one not staring at a screen. I'm happy just to look out the window and watch the world around me.
Nature is so much more remarkable than anything we as humans can engineer. There's nothing, as far as I can tell quite possibly, more incredible than observing the landscape that surrounds us with all the diversity of life, and sky, and the stars. There's nothing more luxurious than living on this beautiful inhabitable Earth out in the vastness of space.
I love people watching when I’m places like a wedding. I don’t need to get up and dance, I’m literally perfectly content watching.
Me! I often look at my garden when I'm working from home. It's relaxing just looking birds, stray cats wandering a neighbor's yard, squirrels foraging for food.
Love doing this more as I get older. Peaceful and relaxing
I moved to the northeast US from Florida years ago, but in recent years I find myself staring out the window a lot. Holy shit did that hawk just pick something up? Can I get this murder of crows to be my friend? OMG A FOX FAMILY! It's part my adhd, part not having grown up seeing a lot of these animals, and part sheer wonder at nature.
Yeah, I'll be in the rocking chair out front soon.
Welcome to what I've heard the LOTR Fandom call The Hobbit stage of life. We spend so much time wanting to be elves and then reach a point where Shire-life appeals the most.
I think your husband might have ADD/ADHD and a smart phone addiction? Or too many devices? A friend with ADD/ADHD is exactly like this and instead of working, taking care of his kids, working on his home, etc. he just stays on his phone and online all night and day. The meds help him not do this as much. I don't have this issue and actually limit time on the computer and phone.
Oh he does have ADHD (she said so in a comment), but apparently she’d rather blame it on a generational divide.
I am just like you, OP. I find extreme interest in the world going on around me. I will sit & observe whatever is put in front of me. I often find myself doing this in my front yard & have to check myself lest my neighbors think I’m a weirdo just standing there staring up at my tree for an hour (which I could easily do lol).
Yea there’s some weird elitism creeping in here.
My wife has ADHD (or at least it runs in the family, and she is self-diagnosed), and I don't. I usually unwind at night and unplug. When it is nice outside, I will sit in my chair outside and watch birds and just listen to all of the noises of the outside world.
I am like this but I have developed a ton of contentment through such mindfulness by partaking in yoga and meditation and especially ganja
Doing this on holidays is especially peaceful. When my husband and I travel, we love just sitting in a cafe with a coffee and people watching for a couple of hours.
My suburban household in the US is boring and there’s literally nothing to see. When I go back to Eastern Europe, the cities being way denser and more compact, just sitting at the window or on the balcony, there’s plenty of people watching, stray dogs and cats, the occasional drunk bloke staggering about, a cat or dog fight by the rubbish bins, etc. Plenty to see, and I love doing it, so do my kids lol. In suburban US of A, the biggest thing to see is the garbage truck
https://preview.redd.it/ipex46qzfo5d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a595d67f6249acd04f1315993c0f8003e001212e
Yeah. I feel like I spent a lot of my young life sitting in cars waiting, and this sort of thing was my escape. When I'm stuck inside the house during the winter, or for other reasons, I'll sometimes put on a live feed of a beach or something just to have a small slice of this feeling.
I do this too! Sometimes in public too I just enjoy quietly watching people who come and go into a space. Sometimes it feels like I'm just an observer in life anyway.
I absolutely love good quality YouTube videos of folks simply walking around, with ambient audio. It's almost cathartic.
I can relate. My thoughts: I think it is because I am an INTP personality. (That means, beyond other things, that I am an "Intuitive, Introvert, Thinker, Perceiver".) If you don't know what that means, you maybe can have a look into the MBTI rabbit hole. There is a good test at 16personalities(dot)com. It has helped me a lot to find out about that stuff. It has definitely enriched my life.
I enjoy flying(going to the airport, layovers, waiting in the security line, watching people board and deplane) just as much as the vacation destination. I have always wondered if I am a weirdo or if this is normal. I purposely pick my flights to have 3 hour layovers.
I can be both ways on this. I grew up a lot like you. I think I was allowed an hour of TV time (videogames included) a day and maybe that was like 2 hours during summer. We did a lot of mucking about in woods and fields and whatever because we were in the middle of nowhere in the rural United States. I was never very excited about or good at sports, but we played all of them with the neighborhood kids (the "neighborhood kids" could've lived upwards of a 3 mile radius from where my sister and I lived, though). Lots of bike riding and nature observing was the name of the game. When I got a little older it might've been more time allowed on screens - but when I was younger especially, I turned this observation of the world around me into illustrating things and got pretty okay at drawing as a result of that. It comes and goes in my current everyday life but I am probably wildly overstimulated...which leads me to how I can be like your husband: I am regularly multi-tasking screens in a similar way to how your husband does. It doesn't help that I WFH and have 4 screens all day long, plus my phone... and when there are lulls in the work I might fire up a portable game as well... if I'm not doodling in notepads. But then - I can also just sit out on the back porch and watch the birds and squirrels or even at night and just watch the stars in the sky. I can do this for hours if the mood strikes me. My wife is much more like you in that she's not crazy about screens. She probably does more doom scrolling of news feeds or whatever than she'd like to admit, though. Her thing is she almost always has a book or three nearby. I don't feel like that's any different than reading something on a phone, personally. But yeah, she's 6 years older than I am... so I don't know if age has much to do with it but I do think we are a product of our environment so we adapt to whatever direction we're most exposed to.
I call it "people watching." Free form of entertainment... especially on a nice spring morning on the weekends. I'll grab a coffee, and just go sit on a bench somewhere in a park.
Screens are Alive alice
I am confused by this post, but your hubby likely needs to be tested for ADHD and your empathy.
He has been and he’s been diagnosed. He’s being treated, but time spent away from constant stimulation or instant gratification feels like eternity for him.
So instead of having empathy for him dealing with ADHD, you’re calling his character into question?
Yup
When I was single for a brief moment and was on dating apps one of my favorite first date/conversations to see what type of person someone was was to just ask if they wanted to sit on a park bench so we could judge people and talk shit about them together as they walked by. Pretty much everyone is like "oh my God I love judging people as they walk by that sounds fun". I mean I'm sure people are going to say that's awful but it was just harmless fun. It gives you a avenue to just crack jokes to each other and get a feeling for sense of humor.
It’s one of my fave things to do. People watching. My ex and I knew we were right for each other (at least in this way) when we discovered that shared interest.
Oh yeah, this is what we doctors call “dementia”. Perfectly normal.
PS it’s a joke.