My ex-friend tried to ask every one of her exes to come fix me so that I wouldn't have weird ideas about sex, because there's no such thing as ace. We don't really talk anymore.
I had three "friends" try to fix me the same way at a party they invited me too. Thankfully they weren't smart enough to make sure I didn't find out about the plan, so I managed to avoid it. I thought I was alone and I'm horrified I'm not.
From the context of the rest of your response, I'm gonna assume you meant to say "You're definitely NOT alone" lol. But seriously what the hell is wrong with people, trying to "fix" us by completely ignoring our lack of consent for their ideas. I'm so sorry any of us ever had to deal with people like that.
Sigh. Yeah, I meant not alone. But.... To save my dignity, we could also say that we're all solo passengers trying to navigate the weird world today. ☺️
My dad’s “sex ed” talk with me was mainly just him going “All my father did was point at two dogs going at it and say ‘well that’s how it happens.’ uhhhh so, like, don’t get addicted to sex? also did you know George Bernard Shaw only had sex once and didn’t care for it? Isn’t that weird and abnormal???”
Allos are weird.
See that's what actually surprises me. I know it's due to purity culture as well but, for people who seem to care so much about sex and place importance on having it (and thinking it abnormal when people don't), a lot of people sure try to avoid actually teaching/telling others how to make sure the sex you might be having will be good, fun, safe and comfortable.
If they think sex is so essential to a good life, why not share more with the teens who are just discovering this to make sure their first experiences start off good (instead of them having to find other, possibly very unreliable sources like porn to figure out how to do it).
I can never understand why it’s crazy for people not to have had sex, or to not want to. To me, it’s like any other activity. I can tell them I’ve never roller skated and it’s not that crazy - but if I’ve never had sex past a certain age it’s insane to them 🙄
Try to tell someone you're virgin at 46. They look at you with pity, horror, surprise, confusion, a mix of all, depends. And of course, asks?: 'Where you abused....'
No, you crazy creepo, I just never had the urge. Leave me alone.
I saw the news another day about a lady that died at 93 and was a virgin. And her relatives where talking how she was 'weird' and 'always said she didn't need a man, so sad'. As u/lunar-asexual said, the allos are not okay. Their gradma/great-grandma had just died and they were worried that she never get laid. Woot.
My great aunt died at 91. She never had sex and was one of the happiest people I've ever known. Travelled the world, had lots of friends, a long career she loved. People need to stop assuming everyone has a mating instinct.
Oopsie, I meant great-aunt, but she had people who called her gradma by consideration, they were not related by blood. She was kind of 'the street granny'.
Even if someone was abused, you just don't ask people that. What I experienced as a child could probably be classified as sexual abuse, but I would only tell my therapist or a partner, definitely not a random co-worker.
Have some guy friends who used to give me shit about never having sex, like to the extent that sometimes it was like they were having a go at me for it, but they stopped after I said “I don’t know why you’re all so obsessed with this, even if I was having sex I wouldn’t be having it with you”
We are still friends because 18-21 year old brains be wild and they apologised fairly immediately
I was 28 and freshly out as mtf when I first went down on a girl, and didn’t actually lose my PiV virginity until last year at 31 with my current girlfriend. I’ve been identifying as a Stone Top for the past 3ish years.
I was 29 and did because I felt like I was supposed to… tried three more times before finally getting it through my thick skull that I was just not interested
I was 23 when I lost mine - quite a lot of my friends thought I'd done things with my exes, but I was always very respectful and didn't move too quickly on anything
I'm now in my 50s and happy being Ace - took me a while to get here, but eventually made it
Currently 28 myself and it was never something I even gave much thought to. I only did when I did because I'm kind of slow and when she invited me over to "hang out" at 3am, I didn't realize what she was actually saying and by time I did, I was already there and just felt bad.
Yeah, I really don’t understand it either. Back at my old job, whenever the topic came up and I’d tell them I had no experience or the desire to have any, some always looked at me like I just spoke in extraterrestrial language or something. What part of “repulsed” can people not understand?
Imagine when they hear abt someone who hasn't had s*x at all 😅😅..
Also, what does this post have to do w being ace?... I'd expect that more from an allo person... also 24 isn't old tbh. These things r usually after marriage so ig not a bad age
I'm more surprised that they were shocked. My first time was when I was 22, and then a few times when I was 23. I didn't mind doing it, but I mostly did it because a friend was horny and I was sex-indifferent enough to consent. It wasn't awful, but not something I feel a need to do again.
My ex-friend tried to ask every one of her exes to come fix me so that I wouldn't have weird ideas about sex, because there's no such thing as ace. We don't really talk anymore.
> to come fix me maybe she should have gone and fucked herself instead... glad she's an ex friend.
No, she just got pregnant with a supervisor, a true Cinderella story. Lifetime is negotiating movie rights.
Eugh that's fucking gross.
I see why you don’t talk to them. What a disgusting thing that was for them to say to someone. I hope you’re doing well :)
I think there’s some projection going on with the “weird ideas about sex”
https://preview.redd.it/wva8psegus6d1.jpeg?width=1144&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=717c4327d8280c8d75b0cae4765bc76360052ce2 W h a t?
It's a good thing she's an _ex_ friend then
Next time I'll just tell everyone I'm a bride of Christ, it's ok because I think Jesus might be poly.
>ex-friend Check out Edit: checks* but that works too
I had three "friends" try to fix me the same way at a party they invited me too. Thankfully they weren't smart enough to make sure I didn't find out about the plan, so I managed to avoid it. I thought I was alone and I'm horrified I'm not.
You're definitely alone. Also right to be horrified. We are freaking leaping towards Handmaid's Tale, over here.
From the context of the rest of your response, I'm gonna assume you meant to say "You're definitely NOT alone" lol. But seriously what the hell is wrong with people, trying to "fix" us by completely ignoring our lack of consent for their ideas. I'm so sorry any of us ever had to deal with people like that.
Sigh. Yeah, I meant not alone. But.... To save my dignity, we could also say that we're all solo passengers trying to navigate the weird world today. ☺️
Absolutely we can say that lol
My dad’s “sex ed” talk with me was mainly just him going “All my father did was point at two dogs going at it and say ‘well that’s how it happens.’ uhhhh so, like, don’t get addicted to sex? also did you know George Bernard Shaw only had sex once and didn’t care for it? Isn’t that weird and abnormal???” Allos are weird.
See that's what actually surprises me. I know it's due to purity culture as well but, for people who seem to care so much about sex and place importance on having it (and thinking it abnormal when people don't), a lot of people sure try to avoid actually teaching/telling others how to make sure the sex you might be having will be good, fun, safe and comfortable. If they think sex is so essential to a good life, why not share more with the teens who are just discovering this to make sure their first experiences start off good (instead of them having to find other, possibly very unreliable sources like porn to figure out how to do it).
I love Shaw so much more now, Pygmalion makes so much more sense
I can never understand why it’s crazy for people not to have had sex, or to not want to. To me, it’s like any other activity. I can tell them I’ve never roller skated and it’s not that crazy - but if I’ve never had sex past a certain age it’s insane to them 🙄
Try to tell someone you're virgin at 46. They look at you with pity, horror, surprise, confusion, a mix of all, depends. And of course, asks?: 'Where you abused....' No, you crazy creepo, I just never had the urge. Leave me alone.
Life goal, keep the virginity streak for a world record
I saw the news another day about a lady that died at 93 and was a virgin. And her relatives where talking how she was 'weird' and 'always said she didn't need a man, so sad'. As u/lunar-asexual said, the allos are not okay. Their gradma/great-grandma had just died and they were worried that she never get laid. Woot.
My great aunt died at 91. She never had sex and was one of the happiest people I've ever known. Travelled the world, had lots of friends, a long career she loved. People need to stop assuming everyone has a mating instinct.
It's obviously too hard to record but I wonder how long the no masturbation streak is, the top virginity leaderboard is quite tough
based grandma ngl
Kinda hard to be a grandma then...
Oopsie, I meant great-aunt, but she had people who called her gradma by consideration, they were not related by blood. She was kind of 'the street granny'.
Adoption has entered the chat
same but i won't live to be old enough to be the oldest virgin ever!
Who knows, maybe you'l be the first 123 years old virgin in the world! (jk)
Gotta keep that streak 🙏
YESSS
I’m joining the 4-0 virgin club in a few weeks; you’re an inspiration! 🫶
Welcome to the club! And thanks! :)
Yo, I'm still a virgin here at 32 and you're actually making me feel jealous. XD
Imagine thinking you can just ask someone if they were abused unprompted
Even if someone was abused, you just don't ask people that. What I experienced as a child could probably be classified as sexual abuse, but I would only tell my therapist or a partner, definitely not a random co-worker.
Do you have magic powers now ? Asking for a friend
Not yet, I think they only kick in at 50. I have some more years to go.
Damn it. Thanks and good luck !!
The allos are not okay
Some of them are high key crazy😭😭😭
Have some guy friends who used to give me shit about never having sex, like to the extent that sometimes it was like they were having a go at me for it, but they stopped after I said “I don’t know why you’re all so obsessed with this, even if I was having sex I wouldn’t be having it with you” We are still friends because 18-21 year old brains be wild and they apologised fairly immediately
Nice to hear that some of these attitudes can be done away with with just a correction :)
It's very weird to me that a lot of allos regret losing their virginity as young as they did, but then also be shocked if you lost it after 19.
They are impressed
People’s surprise about that stuff is so entertaining. I just wanna break out the popcorn 🍿
LMAO They would gasp in horror if they knew I was a virgin at 28 who's never even had a first kiss before.
35 and exactly the same! Thankfully I don't really have friends who talk about that stuff so it's a non issue for me.
Same here! Not even been on a date.
31 and same. I actually hope the topic comes up with someone because I want to see their face.
I was 28 and freshly out as mtf when I first went down on a girl, and didn’t actually lose my PiV virginity until last year at 31 with my current girlfriend. I’ve been identifying as a Stone Top for the past 3ish years.
Me, about to turn 24 and has never even kissed: 😐
I was 29 and did because I felt like I was supposed to… tried three more times before finally getting it through my thick skull that I was just not interested
I was 23 when I lost mine - quite a lot of my friends thought I'd done things with my exes, but I was always very respectful and didn't move too quickly on anything I'm now in my 50s and happy being Ace - took me a while to get here, but eventually made it
Currently 28 myself and it was never something I even gave much thought to. I only did when I did because I'm kind of slow and when she invited me over to "hang out" at 3am, I didn't realize what she was actually saying and by time I did, I was already there and just felt bad.
Yeah, I really don’t understand it either. Back at my old job, whenever the topic came up and I’d tell them I had no experience or the desire to have any, some always looked at me like I just spoke in extraterrestrial language or something. What part of “repulsed” can people not understand?
Imagine when they hear abt someone who hasn't had s*x at all 😅😅.. Also, what does this post have to do w being ace?... I'd expect that more from an allo person... also 24 isn't old tbh. These things r usually after marriage so ig not a bad age
I'm more surprised that they were shocked. My first time was when I was 22, and then a few times when I was 23. I didn't mind doing it, but I mostly did it because a friend was horny and I was sex-indifferent enough to consent. It wasn't awful, but not something I feel a need to do again.