INCUP: interest, novelty, challenge, urgency, passion
That’s what gets our focus and attention.
Plus you also have some protective anxiety coming up telling you “just stop.” Because if you don’t try, you can’t actually fail.
At least that’s my read based on experiencing similar thoughts.
I hear ya so much! I’m gonna be following this thread cuz I also need to gain some skills to defeat that fearful voice telling me not to even try.
I can 100000% relate. I could have written this post word for word minus being an artist, I only *wish* I was an artist but I won't stick with it long enough to get any better.
I keep telling people now that I only have to take care of myself, I have no idea what to do, I litteraly just wing it day to day and am often disappointed with my choices. Then for like a month I'll be a fitness/philosopher guru. Ugh, I keep being told medication won't change who I am, but, I kinda want it to and it depresses me to say that. I'm taking summer classes but am not intrested in that all so I am doing the bare minimum. I just stated 300mg of Welbutrin so hey fingers crossed.
Wow that was a tangent lol
As for the being an artist thing, try theatre. It's so ON and is constantly moving forward whether you want it to or not. And the people are genuinely so fun. There are assholes in everything, but at least in community theatre, you find fewer people trying to be somebody else, and more people are just happy to be unapologetically themselves. It was the first thing in my very young life that gave me any sense of discipline or even an understanding of what it was. It provides a structure for me to be (almost) as manic as I want but also works as a great guide for my focus. If it's something you're more curious about I'd be happy to answer any questions.
I'm taking a much lower dose of Welbutrin and am about to move up higher. It definitely helps you get some control. Give it a few days when you start. It will likely hit you pretty hard, and you'll feel almost high. Then you level out, and it starts working. For me, I got so used to it I thought it wasn't doing anything, and then I forgot it one day and was just bonkers, lol. So iy definitely has an effect. Not a magic bullet but I'm guessing you're similar to me in that you've done all the internal "sorting through your shit mentally" work you can do and now you need that chemical aid to sort of get the bike up on two wheels so you can start pedaling.
INCUP: interest, novelty, challenge, urgency, passion That’s what gets our focus and attention. Plus you also have some protective anxiety coming up telling you “just stop.” Because if you don’t try, you can’t actually fail. At least that’s my read based on experiencing similar thoughts. I hear ya so much! I’m gonna be following this thread cuz I also need to gain some skills to defeat that fearful voice telling me not to even try.
I can 100000% relate. I could have written this post word for word minus being an artist, I only *wish* I was an artist but I won't stick with it long enough to get any better. I keep telling people now that I only have to take care of myself, I have no idea what to do, I litteraly just wing it day to day and am often disappointed with my choices. Then for like a month I'll be a fitness/philosopher guru. Ugh, I keep being told medication won't change who I am, but, I kinda want it to and it depresses me to say that. I'm taking summer classes but am not intrested in that all so I am doing the bare minimum. I just stated 300mg of Welbutrin so hey fingers crossed. Wow that was a tangent lol
As for the being an artist thing, try theatre. It's so ON and is constantly moving forward whether you want it to or not. And the people are genuinely so fun. There are assholes in everything, but at least in community theatre, you find fewer people trying to be somebody else, and more people are just happy to be unapologetically themselves. It was the first thing in my very young life that gave me any sense of discipline or even an understanding of what it was. It provides a structure for me to be (almost) as manic as I want but also works as a great guide for my focus. If it's something you're more curious about I'd be happy to answer any questions. I'm taking a much lower dose of Welbutrin and am about to move up higher. It definitely helps you get some control. Give it a few days when you start. It will likely hit you pretty hard, and you'll feel almost high. Then you level out, and it starts working. For me, I got so used to it I thought it wasn't doing anything, and then I forgot it one day and was just bonkers, lol. So iy definitely has an effect. Not a magic bullet but I'm guessing you're similar to me in that you've done all the internal "sorting through your shit mentally" work you can do and now you need that chemical aid to sort of get the bike up on two wheels so you can start pedaling.