Yeah, exactly! It's your inheritance, and your decision how to handle it. Your family's sudden interest in your life and money sounds exhausting. Focus on what's best for you and the business your grandfather entrusted to you.
Crawl back into their holes?? Their dad just died and he left everything to their sibling’s teenage kid. If I was OP I would ABSOLUTELY share some of the money with my parents/aunts/uncles but not share the business. Unless OPs family treated grandpa like absolute trash, it was unbelievably cruel for grandpa to give everything to OP, but even then, I would 100% pay for all of my cousin’s college. Life isn’t just about money, folks. It’s about what you do with your money and how you treat other people. I get the argument that “grandpa wanted you to have it, he left it all to you” but that definitely doesn’t mean that OP isn’t allowed to be a decent person once he’s received it.
Are you one of the aunts/uncles? 😆 No. Gramps had a reason he left his money to OP..and once you start giving to people who are harassing others for money the begging never stops.
You go pay for the college and help them all out. OP treated his grandfather well and spent time with him when no one else would. He owes his greedy family nothing. I have a toxic family. If one of my grandparents had left me money, they’d get nothing. I would help out my husband’s family but they are millionaires so not necessary
I’m kinda with you on this one. 8’digits is a minimum of $10 million. To make it simple, I’d give each aunt and uncle $X and each cousin $Y (pick a figure). My personal values would not allow me to keep it all. If it makes it easier OP could get each of them to sign an agreement not to ask for more money.
Not at all. He trusted you with the inheritance, not them. Their greed will never subside, and you owe nothing to no one. Do not feel guilty about that. Invest that money and enjoy what you were blessed to receive from your grandfather. Good luck with the business!
And to piggyback off your comment.... why didn't they just ask their dad for the money? If they waited to ask you, there's a good reason as to why they never got anything from their OWN FATHER!!!!
More so- there's a REASON he trusted you and not them. If you're trying to run the business and have selected some pros to help, it sounds like you deserve his trust and will make the business succeed.
He probably left them nothing because he knows (correctly) the kind of people they are- looking for a handout.
Personally I'd spread the joy- give your parents a single, one-time gift of maybe 50-75k each. Give them the checks and tell them that you love them and appreciate them bringing you up and being good parents. Tell them that you will not speak of this money to anyone or mention it with them ever again, but if they want help with investing you can give them advice or refer them to someone competent to help keep it safe. And tell them if they want to give it to your aunts and uncles they are welcome to- it's their money and their decision but this is a one time thing as the rest of the money is getting reinvested.
They may suddenly have a bit more sympathy for you.
I completely agree here. Your grandfather wisely trusted you with ensuring that the business will continue. He likely knew that the rest of the family members would destroy the business because of personal greed
How are you personally compensated? I am guessing it is some combinstiion of salary and a a distribution of the profits? (This is if course profits after you have ensured they adequate resources have been reinvestrd into the business for other costs such as expansion, etc. This amount will change each year). If you want to help "family" with the family money, you can designate a percentage of your disbursement as going towards a ",help family" fund. Make a big show of putting your parents in charge of the fund. Have experts set it up formally so taxes are paid, etc. Then direct family members to your parents. They think you should help? Well, you did. But you are busy running a business. Your parents can deal with the squabbling relatives. It isn't your problem anymore. You have been generous and are helping family by generating the money. It is the least your parents can do to distribute to the most needy. How long will it take before the family splinters and you need to discontinue because the money is just ruining the family.
f you want to maintain connection to your family
**on gifting money** -
check with your accountant, you can gift so much money to a person tax free, you and they need to know the tax implications before you decide IF you wish to give money to anyone, and how much, it's something you may want to do max amount (use to be $10,000. per person in USA) over 5 years IF you choose to give them money you said you inherited 6 figures, you need to find out inheritance tax laws where you live in usa depends on state, Federal is different - your account and/or lawyer can help you as you could be hit hard on all or part of the money and business left to you.
I would suggest waiting until you have that all figured out how much you will owe in taxes, as to how much you have left before you start gifting large sums of money
6 figures can be $100,000 to $999,999 (no one here needs to know) but the amt will possibly affect your taxes a lot, so gifting money (if you choose to) should wait until you have all that figured out - there will be quarterly and annual taxes to be paid on the business and interest on your money and any investments, once you have run the business for a full year, you will have a better handle on all that
if you haven't you need to ask your accountant how much the business was worth the day you inherited it, should you ever decide to see you will need the date inherited and what the value of the business was for tax info should you ever decide to sell it
sounds like your parents might be doing fine financially since they didn't ask you for money, so if you choose to gift them anything, it can probably wait a year
I wouldn't give them cash. I would get them a vacation trip or something . Other people might talk shit bc they asked for money and didn't receive it while he gives his parents money. It could put beef between the parents and the aunts and uncles. They are brother and sister . Kids of his grandpa
I wouldn't even put the parents in that position where they have to decide to give some money to the uncles and aunts. The grandfather didn't give them a dime for a reason. Him giving his parents money and the aunt and uncles receiving it. Would be the same as if he gave it to them since it's his money.
The grandfather knew how his own kids were. If he didn't give them a dime . He shouldn't give them a dime. I'm sure if the grandfather wanted to give his parents money he would have . To me.. it seems like his parents are like his aunt and uncles. If they weren't. The grandfather would have gave them money . Think about it.
Bingo-what's-his-name-o! This comment hits it on the nose with "He trusted you with the inheritance, not them." There is a reason why your grandfather's kids didn't get it. Don't feel guilty. Do your grandpa proud and keep his legacy going.
You owe nothing to any relative that did not provide some kind of support for you whether it be financial, emotional or just practical experience. If they did not contribute to your upbringing in a positive way then they do not deserve anything. It has been said, “nothing like a death or divorce to bring people’s true colors to the surface.” This has happened to you. If you want to be generous, offer employment positions to those that are qualified to work in your business. If your grandfather wanted to share his wealth with them he would have. He chose you and you alone, that should tell you a lot about what he thought of you and what he thought of them. You might want to point out to some, that jealousy is not a flattering look or personality trait. Enjoy the money, get an education either through schooling or through the business your grandfather left you. College is not always the right answer for everyone. Put a lot into a trust so it is safe from lots of things (see a lawyer) and secure, for you when you get too old to earn money. That day will come, I am there now. Good luck!
Bad advice about hiring. Their own father didn't want to have them in his company and he obviously was far more experienced than OP and knew a lot about hiring as his business was that successful.
Give any of them anything at all, and it will never stop...because it worked once. There is no "help a little bit" with this. Your parents need to back off and you are right to have blocked the rest of the bunch. You need lawyers and financial advisors to help you with that much money - hopefully your grandfather set you up with some. Don't make any big money moves for a few years - let the dust settle, figure out whether the business suits you, and put the money somewhere safe - don't spend it, don't give it to family, and please be very wary of every woman you meet from now on - you are exactly what gold diggers look for. Wait till you are 25 at least before making big changes - and if you want to go to university, I'd consider doing that as it's a great way to learn about people and new things. Human brains don't physically mature until age 25. Give yourself space to learn and grow, and don't let others pull you off course.
You can not please everyone. The sooner you come to terms with that harsh truth life becomes a lot easier. That being said you owe them nothing and owe it to your grandfather to keep both his business and legacy alive.
Some are made by losers who want their story to go viral and made into tik tok / minecraft videos.
Some have to be staff creating clickbait
Some are karma farming accounts that will be sold off later.
I'm sure they are other reasons.
I was just thinking the same thing.
Grandpa must have been a real savvy businessman to leave millions + his business to a kid… unless it was grand father’s plan to nuke his own company and a big “Fuck you” to the family.
What you have to think about is your future and peace.
I recommend putting a set amount of money in a trust and hiring someone to oversee that, a pro who is not family.
A lot an amount that can be given out each year for education or medical emergencies.
Then go about your life and let them deal with that professional.
Good luck to you!
Here’s the thing that there’s no getting away from , most family members who want your money are a bottomless pit and will not stop until you’re broke like them. You couldn’t buy them out of there problems if you had 10 times as much money. Please don’t fall for it.
If your parents want to help them, then they can help them. There’s a reason your grandfather wants it to you. If he wanted them to have it, he would’ve willed it to them.
Not wrong.
Check with your grandfather’s lawyer as they may know who your grandfather used as a fiduciary for his financial investments.
Or dig through your grandfather’s papers to see if you can find it.
Worst case if you have friends with successful parents with common sense ask them who they use.
Your grandfather left his kingdom to you for a reason. If he wanted his children to receive anything he would have said so. Keep them blocked and tell your parents we aren't talking about this.
NTA your grandfather trusted you and your judgment. People come out of the woodwork when they find out that you have money when they never else cared about you.
You owe your family nothing. They were not there when you were young.
It is overwhelming to suddenly get a lot of money. I would recommend going to a reputable financial advisor to help you navigate the funds you received. As far as your grandfather’s business, it may not be a bad idea to get someone you trust to manage it while you learn. Take some business courses.
Your grandfather sounds like a very savvy businessman. There was a reason he did not leave them anything. They had an entire lifetime to prove to your grandfather that they were worthy, and didn’t. Your grandfather saw something in you, even as a teenager, that was missing in the rest of his family.
If your grandfather wanted them to have anything, he would have left them inheritances of their own. My guess is these people only treated him like a bank account too. You don't owe any of them anything, including your parents. If they want to push the issue go NC with them too until they learn their lesson.
Absolutely do not share the money. If you help one it will never end. Your grandfather knew what he was doing and knew you would work hard to keep the business going.
Good for you for working hard and supporting the business. You are smart to hire smart people.
You should probably look for a reputable financial advisor. Talk to the lawyer who did your grandfather's will to start. Do research for what to look for. But don't make any big decisions for a year (as most will tell you).
He gave it all to you for a reason and you should honor that reason nobody has the right or is entitled to any of it, family or not using the family card even after not being family for the whole duration of your life, doesn't qualify for them to feel entitled to it if they're having issues, they need to figure it out themselves they shouldn't be depending on a young man starting out in life. It is not your responsibility or obligation. they are grown adults. They had their lives to figure out their life. You were just starting out in life and have every right start that life how your grandfather planned. They obviously were cut out for a reason and seeing how they're coming out of the woodwork, I see the reason now.greed and you are not responsible for anybody's college funds. Their parents need to figure that out or the people that are going to college need to figure it out for themselves like plenty of other people in the world do what they have done if you had gotten nothing, they would still be the same, they should act like they even know about it to begin with because it's none of their business or their entitlement
NTA Your grandfather left it to you instead of them. Chances are that he helped them out many times over the years so maybe they've already received their inheritance. Ask parents, "Family? What family? None of them have ever treated me like family. I'm treating them as they always treated me, with indifference." Notice your parents also weren't on the inheritance list so chances are they've already gotten what your grandpa wanted them to have. Don't allow them to guilt trip you. Start seeing a therapist to learn how to more easily stand up to these people. While keeping charge of the company make sure second in command is reliable and trustworthy. Take courses for business or whatever your business pertains to.
Honor your grandfather's wishes but absolutely get a business/finance degree to help run/hire competent people to run the company. You 100% need to be able to double check their work.
Hire a manager for the business. The manager will mentor you. Also go to business school simultaneously. Running a business isn’t easy. You have to learn how to do it.
You are not anybodies bank account. Don’t worry about the others. Your grandfather was very specific that this is for you and no one else. If when you begin making your own paycheque you want to help that can be your guide, but if you still wouldn’t give then don’t.
“Family comes first”. I think this only counts if they were helping and treating you right as well.
If family came first you wouldn’t be feeling this way.
You choice is the way to go.
>Am I being an asshole for cutting off my family like this? Should I be helping them out with the money and business my grandfather left me?
There's a reason your grandfather left everything to you, and excluded the rest of your family members. You have no obligation to bail out your family members. Your grandfather would have included them in the will if he had wanted them to be bailed out.
If you want to run your grandfather's business into the ground and lose all of your inheritance, then go ahead and bail out your family members until they have taken everything from you.
Otherwise, tell them, including your parents, to pound sand. You are not their cash cow.
You are not wrong, and not an asshole. Your family are being assholes over money that is not theirs.
You are not wrong but maybe just to appease your parents (and possibly a tax write off) the company could set up some kind of family scholarship/trust for some education needs. Talk to lawyers if you feel like doing something like that but don't feel obligated if your grandpa wanted to support the whole family he would have split it all up sounds like he gave it to you for a reason.
This is the best way. Your GF knew exactly what type of family he had and chose to not reward them with his hard earned wealth. Respect his decision but by establishing an educational trust for the children you can help them to develop a better future than their parents chose.
Take care of yourself to preserve the business before trying to take care of others. Get the education and help you need to run the business and makes sure the people you hired aren't siphoning money. Then you can decide if you want to help anybody.
No, it’s your money. They didn’t ask grandpa because they knew he would have said NO. Stay firm. Tell them if they need money, you will give them a job to help them out. It sounds like you have enough money to last a lifetime, maybe consider sell the business and move away and enjoy your life. You could be dead tomorrow. Enjoy today and get the negative people out of your life now. Good luck. Don’t let them get to you
When your grandfather was alive, why didn’t they go to him to ask for money? Or did they and he said no? That money existed before he died and those family members had their needs before he died. So I would ask myself and perhaps even them why didn’t they ask grandfather for the money?
I'm a softie, and my first impulse is to do something to help. If MY inheritance WRRE $20m or more, I probably would write a check for $100,000 each. But then I'm super close with my sisters, and neither of them are struggling. If they asked a second time, I'd give them what they needed.
Having said that, if you give them a can't, they'd be back for more in a heartbeat. I would suggest that you find some charity, like Doctors Without Borders or World Central Kitchen, which feeds people in disaster zones, and set up a donation. Good luck to you, and kudos for being the grandson your grandfather needed.
NTA hang on to the plan you have in place invest the money in secure assets government securities and large bank CDs continue to grow the business along the established way your grandfather did there’s nothing wrong with helping family members but do so by setting up a nonprofit that is designed to help them help themselves
NTA. You are only doing what your grandfather wanted. As for your parents, it might be a good idea to take a step back from them for a little while.
You don't owe anyone in your family any money. If you want to help a few of them, that's perfectly fine. Don't let them bully you into it.
you've done well getting some experience in to help ruin things. let it all settle in before doing anything big like giving away money. business with expenses and debts can be complicated things, pulling money out is not always straight forward and consequences may not be clear until later. Does he have an accountant of financial advisor you can turn to who is well across the debts and liabilities and plans for the company? As for anyone pressuring you for money now, cut them off.
You know to make it easier you can lie to them and tell them you put it all in a trust that you can’t touch beyond paying for college until you are 30. That should at least give you some time to figure things out
Not wrong. You're young enough that this will of his was relatively recent. It wasn't something that was done 20 years ago that he just forgot about. You're honoring his wishes and your relatives are showing you there was good reason they weren't given money or a stake in the business.
Do you first. If your looking for away not to be the bad guy realize you will never please everyone. However, because it's family you may want to send a blanket email to everyone stating that you want to keep your grandfather's legacy, and while you are learning his affairs you will not be entertaining dispersing money to any family members at this time.
Years from now you may want to gift family members but by stopping it now will allow you the time to know what's what. It's sad that you are put in this position, but at 19 you are just not experienced enough to become responsible for everybody's problems. It will all work out. Good luck!
"They only showed up at family gatherings to keep up appearances...." How did you formulate that opinion about their behavior? It seems to me, if aunts and uncles showed up a family gatherings, it shows something other than keeping up appearances. Beyond that, you can do whatever you want with your money. It's yours.
You aren't wrong.
If anyone else had been interested in the company, they would have been part of it.
Just a suggestion or two.
Talk to the existing money people that your grandfather had and ask for their advice.
Also....
Get a business degree.
Get specialized education for the job you have.
You can do it while learning about the company.
Don't make a huge change yet.
Depending on the amount of money - you might be able to help people after you understand what's what and what the plans for the company should be.
Good luck.
Can understand how overwhelming it can be due to your age and “family” hounding you, but do know that your grandpa left it ALL to YOU for a reason & NOT them. So honor him, learn the business & money management. Build your life and grow what he has given you. Everything else, is just noise at the moment.
If you really want to give, Don’t plan to give anything till you turned 30, that is till you have learnt the ropes, got maturity and understand the consequences of what you are giving.
These people, they want ONLY your money, they are already selfish and they have never put you first either & you are their family, right? So you don’t have to put them first either.
If your grandfather wanted them to have anything he would have left it to them in his will. Best thing you can do is cut these people off. Once you you've given once they'll expect it again and again.
You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders, hiring people to help with the business etc. Keep your money and enjoy your life OP.
I’m guessing grandad helped them all while he was alive until he got fed up being the cash cow in their lives.
If he’d wanted to leave them anything he would have.
Ynw
Don’t make any big plans to expand etc yet. Give yourself time to really get a grip on running the business first.
Please carefully consider that if your grandfather wanted any of these people to have a single dime of his money, he had every opportunity to leave it to them.
Instead, he very specifically and purposefully left everything to you.
Please honor his wishes and keep everything. Do not give anyone any money. Seek out a FIDUCIARY investment entity that will set up the cash portion of your inheritance to last you a lifetime. Don't use some small guy. Use Schwab, Fidelity, or some other large investment firm. That way, you won't end up in some ponzi scheme or with stupid investments.
Buy a reasonably priced home. Don't get all nutty with expensive cars or other costly things, or you will blast through your money very quickly.
Learn the business your grandfather believed you would take into the future. Sure, it will be hard, but you are young, and you're making great moves hiring good people to help.
And, now, I'm very sorry to give you the big bad. And, I'm truly sorry, but you need to know this.
Your grandfather didn't just exclude your distant relatives from his will. He also excluded your parents. And he did so for a reason. He may not have given you the reason, but he had one. And, it speaks volumes that the very people who should be urging you to be conservative and careful with your inheritance are insisting that you give portions of it away. I know they are your parents, but they are not to be trusted regarding your inheritance or your life decisions.
Lastly, please make sure not to talk about your inheritance with pretty much anyone. Learn privacy. At 19, I know it's hard, but you will never regret not telling people, and there will be a lot of regret if you blab it around.
Sending you my best wishes. Stay smart. Stay strong. Honor your grandfather and his memory.
YNW! He gave the money and business to you for exactly this reason. He clearly wanted you, alone, to have it. Follow his wishes. They’re only coming around now for money. Nope. Don’t waste a second worrying. You’re doing what your grandfather intended!
NTA. If your grandfather wanted to, he would have given them some of the money to pay their debts and college funds. You can chose to help. It might even be a tax write off at your level. But the choice needs to be yours whatever it is. Not pressure or guilt. Keep a good head on your shoulders. That kind of money changes everything.
My advice, for what it's worth, is to invest some of that money in an education in subjects to help you run your business competently. Invest the rest so it will give you an income. Build your future like your grandfather hoped. Ignore the family.
NTA. But I can see why you would be unsure. If you want to you could set aside some money to dole out in increments depending on who is more polite. Always live up to your responsibilities with the business. Cut off anyone who harasses you. If they continue to harassing you, file charges and get restraining orders.
I want you to think about this OP: if your grandfather didn't loan them money, and apparently they weren't asking him, why should you? He didn't for a reason.
You are not wrong. You can give as much, or as little, money to your family. If your grandfather did not give any money to his children, do not feel the need to do so. You might give money to his other grandchildren. If you do, make a trust with you in charge so their parents do not dive into it.
If you want nothing to do with your family, have the company lawyer contact everyone and yeah them to cease requesting money.
As for investing and growing your business, hire professionals with a proven track record of growth to advise you or handle your investments. Start out with a small amount and see how they do.
Your grandfather is a dick. He’s pitting you against the family. His choice as to what he does with his money but no way this ends well.
This sounds like a blessing for you. lol. This is a curse. You’re about to lose your whole family. And neither side would be wrong. But, no way would I continue a relationship with my cousin who got 8 figures and I got nothing. Nope, I’m not that mature.
You don’t owe anything to anyone. You’re not an AH for removing greedy, selfish, and insincere people from your life. Your family members are so crass for having no shame asking for money when they haven’t cared about being in your life for years. You are not their golden ticket or piggy bank.
Be very careful with the people you hire to help you with the business and to manage your money.
Thoroughly vet everyone you contract with and always get a second opinion.
You’re young and there are so many people out there that will try to take advantage of you.
Wishing you all the best.
NTA. Hopefully, some of the professionals that you've hired include a personal financial advisor as well as a business advisor. A personal financial advisor will guide with investing since you are inexperienced. I recommend that you get a degree that will educate you on running a business and maintaining a successful one before thinking about expansion and learn about the business from the workers and managers/supervisors. You might consider working for a period of time in some positions to gain a better understanding from the ground up rather than top down. Anyway, all the best you!
One thing you could do if you are sufficiently wealthy is just write them a one time check suitably large. And tell them that that’s all they’re going to get and have your lawyer draft a release and a nondisclosure.
That way, you can feel like you did right you helped them. And you have no further obligation.
I’m not familiar with what’s going on in that dynamic maybe has good reason to cut them off. But he gave you his money not necessarily so that you would be just like him.
Obviously, I think he trusts you to make that decision or he would’ve put everything locked down in a trust.
“Rich people don’t pay taxes, they pay tax lawyers”
Paying educated professionals was a wise move.
Investing is also a wise move. Invest in multiple ventures, so not all eggs are in one basket. HYSA. Get a lawyer or 2 you feel comfortable with. Lawyers can screw a young kid like you too, so having a 2nd to double check the 1st might help with peace of mind.
Geez, I feel for you. Honestly, having money makes it hard to trust anyone. Live like you’re still poor. Keep your status a secret. Lie to people, like saying you can’t access the money, it’s vested, you have to be 25 to utilize it, it’s in a trust and you only get so much a month. Good luck kid, and condolences for your loss.
Nta. Go back to school & learn business, learn money management & anything that will help you in that field or w money. The more handouts you give, the more they expect. This isn’t free money. This is your grandpas hard earned money. You can give it all away or you can grow w it. There are highs & lows in business, you have to be prepared if it dips low.
NTA but paying your success forward by helping with those college funds is the right thing to do. That’s also where I’d draw the line for money handouts.
So out of all the relatives he leaves it all to you? That means you did something good. Don't change your attitude because he trusted you. Think about what he would do and do the same.
The best way to honor what your grandfather wanted (his wishes) is to make it clear you will not be helping anybody out financially. Focus on building the business you know own.
Your grandfather believes in you. Don’t let him down.
Keep us updated.
A fool and his money are soon parted.
Get a business education so you can run your new business. Stop worrying about your relatives who treat you like an ATM. Your parents should mind their own business. You’re an adult with a whole life ahead of you. Your grandfather left this money for you only. Honour his wish.
>His will made it clear that everything was meant for me alone.
So your family arguing that you should help them out would be going against your Grandfather's will.
>Now, my parents are furious with me, saying that I'm being selfish and that family comes first.
Perhaps that might be why your grandfather left everything to you instead of to your parents.
>I've been learning a lot and hired some experienced professionals to help run things.
That is one of the smartest things you could do in this circumstance.
Now that those things are in place, keep your family at arms length or cut them off entirely based on how they behave. Then take time to grieve and to get yourself the education and experience you need to become the success that your Grandfather was sure you could be.
Invest in yourself. Her the best education you can. Take care of the business. If you give them money they will never stop asking you for it. Stop it before it starts.
NTA! Tell your parents that they can also be cut off if they continue to try to control you. You’re an adult and it was left to you.
Get a lawyer and financial planner. Get an education while running the business. Keep your family out of it.
He left it all to you for a reason. He knew you would do your very best with his business and his money. You don’t owe anyone anything. It’s your money. Don’t feel bad about doing what your grandfather wanted you to do with it
I've been where you're at but it wasn't alot of money. That didn't stop my relatives from badgering me. I finally cut them off. My financial advisor helped me sort where the money should go and helped me so much with investments.
It's overwhelming at first and your relatives pressuring you doesn't help at all. You're doing everything right. Get a financial advisor- be picky about who you choose. Ask around amongst your friends and colleagues.
You can't pick your relatives, but you CAN pick your family. Cut the relatives completely out of your life. They are NOT family. You will find your family soon enough.
Go forth and live the life your grandfather wished upon you. May he rest in peace. He was definitely FAMILY.
Firstly, now you've discovered exactly why your grandfather didn't leave anything to anyone else.
Moving forward, make a list of things you would like to do with this money. Book an appt with a very good financial advisor/planner.
They will go through everything with you. You will need to keep them around as they will work within your best interests, make suggestions, give advice and direct. If you feel like getting some investment properties, they can assist you.
Regarding the company, ask your financial advisor to see if they have a recommendation for a business mentor that can come in and work with you to show you how to operate and manage a company.
It is unusual that your grandfather did this knowing you would not have a clue on what to do. You need someone that will stay with you to guide. Ensure you have all the necessary managers etc in place. This will be a big change for them and staff will be uncertain as to their future.
Look into doing some business management courses too.
NTA - block the family members. Tell your parents that there were explicit instructions and you plan on following them to a T. If they ask to look at them you say No, they're with the company's lawyers.
Did he also build a secret multi-million dollar home that no one in your family had ever heard about or seen before??
Just … No.
And yeah, YWBW for telling this bs.
You are not wrong at all. Yes you have inherited a great deal of money however you have also inherited a great responsibility at such a young age. Before you make any decisions, I would make sure you have good financial advisors in place. They can help you set short term, midterm and long term goals. They can assist in safeguarding your funds and assets to ensure your future and security. They can guide you through any familial assistance you would like to provide, to whom you’d like to provide it to. They can help establish these gifts/assistance or even trusts (which you now need). It’s quite a lot on young shoulders. Don’t make any decisions for a while. Just get your people lined up to assist you and let it settle.
If your grandfather had wanted to provide for them he would have but it is not your responsibility.
Good luck.
I'd suggest contact a lawyer, put a huge chunk of it away in a series of trusts for yourself, set it up so you don't have access to it until specific ages (like 25, 30 and maybe even onward). If you tuck it away whereas even you won't have access to it, they won't be able to get it either.
Next, I'd consider creating an investment fund, and if possible (not sure if this would be a benefit for you as well), sell the business to your investment fund. This would mean you don't own the business anymore and they can't go after you the same way.
Make sure, whoever you decide to settle down with SIGNS A PRENUP. In fact, have one ready ahead of time.
Living off ONLY the money coming from divedends from investments will ensure you aren't touching the rest. 8 figures is generational - and would set up any kids you have in the future and theirs - as long as you don't touch it.
You have to cut those people off. The stress of just thinking about it, let alone actually dealing with it drain your energy and, in the end, your soul. I had a friend that was in this situation. Long lost family came out of the woodwork extremely friendly and obsequious. He saw them for what they were and cut them off. It would be good if you had an older man, someone like your grandfather to talk things over with. It could be someone like your grandfather‘s friend attorney or accountant. When you’re young, No matter how strong and ambitious you are(And appears you’re both of these) you do not have the experience and perspective that only had a lot of time and experience can give. Also, a therapist could be very helpful in helping you deal with your family. I was going through a family situation, and my therapist was invaluable by explaining exactly why other people were behaving the way they were and what their true motives were.
Grandfather may have been a super successful businessman, but he was terrible at planning his estate. No one with any sense would leave a fortune, including an operating business to a 19-year-old, unless it was in a trust or some other entity where he would receive some oversight and assistance. I’m gonna say this never happened. So YTA for making up this yarn.
No, you're not the asshole for wanting to protect your inheritance and focus on your own future. Inherited wealth and a business come with immense responsibility, and it's understandable that you want to prioritize managing them wisely. Cutting off family who only approached you for money shows you're setting boundaries to safeguard what your grandfather entrusted to you. It's important to seek guidance from trusted advisors and make decisions that align with your goals and values, even if it means disappointing others who may not have your best interests at heart.
Every adult is responsible for their own money issues. They were when he was alive and they are now that he’s passed. He loved everything to you just get really wise about how you manage the business and your money and I would start cutting ties. Do you want to give them money fine but I would be careful because I have had money at times in my life and people come out of the woodwork.
Your grandfather did not give any money to his children for a reason. You might know what that reason is or you might not but he made it very clear that they were not getting anything. You need to honor his wishes.
I just love the perfect amount of paragraphs, the age-inappropriate use of words, the nondescript "business" - and the way the LLM thinks that the 'M' in 'M19' is short for '[I] am'
Not that I think you should, but if you wanted to, you could set up a yearly amount to help family and tell your parents they are responsible for who gets the money and then point all the relatives with their hands out towards your parents. I wouldn't give them the actual money, but a budget and you issue the checks
How do you know that he didn't give all the mooches money while alive? He could have, and that may be the reason he left it to you.
If you give money to one, then the dam will be broken, and it will never end. Your parents need to mind their own business. It is what your grandfather wanted. He trusted you with his legacy. Get good legal and financial advice. Learn the business from top to bottom. Maybe school is for you or maybe not. Wishing you success.
It's up to you what you want to do, but if you're serious about maintaining his legacy, maybe the best thing to do is focus on keeping the business successful and growing it. Then and only then maybe you can consider helping the family, if and when you deem it necessary/appropriate. But running a business requires capital and cash flow. It's not 'free' money. This might be a good angle to take with family. Once the business is stable under your leadership you could even consider offering the family non-voting shares to provide dividends but no control. That gives everyone skin in the game to support you. But being an avid Redditor I have to say your mileage may definitely vary!!
Grandfather was family. His interpretation of 'family comes first' was to leave everything to you. That is it!
I guess I would advise you to make a plan for the (short) future, and tell family that you give yourself 10 years to administer/ use the inheritance, since you want it (and yourself) to mature into that situation. Like a self-imposed guardianship. There are enough situations like yours where the inheritor (you) only get full authority over their inheritance when they are 25, or 30 ... In ten years, family may ask again .....
You are absolutely right, your granddad gave everything to you for a reason.
Make it clear with your parents that you do not tolerate this behavior and if they wish to continue it will affect the relationship with you.
NTA If you ever feel stuck on whether or not you should help them then remember your grandfather's words and wishes. From what you have written it sounds like he was quite specific with his plans for the inheritance.
Nope you are not wrong. And hire accountants and investment professionals to help guide what to do with this many millions of dollars. You don't want to squander it when you are now set for life.
Sounds like he gave you the inheritance simply because you didn’t care about the money nearly as much as the family did, you actually cared about him, I can tell the inheritance went to the correct person, because you want to help your grandfathers business thrive under your care, that’s awesome and I hope all goes well for you, and honestly at this moment, until they learn they don’t have any entitlement to that money, you shouldn’t speak with family that ask about it
NTA you always see who your friends and family really are when money is involved which now you have. I suggest in you getting your will done ASAP and keep getting advice from professionals.
Use part of the money to go to college and then get an MBA. Maybe a law degree too.
But keep running the business. Experience is more valuable than the best biz school.
As for your family, f ‘em. You’re honoring your grandfathers wishes.
You do not owe it to anyone to give them even one penny of your inheritance, whether in funds or a share of the business. There’s a reason your grandfather refused to gift any of your other relatives with any portion of his estate, and I’m betting it’s because those relatives that are your “family” had either been mooching off him for years OR had been counting on getting his money once he passed.
Sounds like your parents are also in the boat with expecting you to give other family members “their fair share” or a leg up. But, if you send even one of those mooches a penny, it’ll never stop. Everyone else will be hounding you to help them because you helped “Uncle Fred” so they deserve help as well. And they won’t stop. New expenses/debts will continually arise.
You should definitely hire a financial advisor (do your own research, don’t go with any suggestions from your family members and ESPECIALLY don’t trust any of those who offer to help you) if you haven’t already done so as you’ve been smart about seeking help from people more knowledgeable about running your new business. If it’s a business you were thinking of taking on when you were older, great.
You may want to consider taking some college courses on business management and any other topics related to your business to help you better understand how it works. That way you can see if any of your hires are following whatever works best for your company.
Also, I know that you’re only 19, but you should definitely be getting a will of your own setup sooner rather than later to ensure your inheritance goes where you want it to go should something happen to you. Also make sure that you have someone setup as a trusted caregiver should you become incapacitated due to injury or illness who you can trust not to take over your inheritance and take it away or give it all away while you’re unable to stop them from bleeding you dry.
Too bad you can’t trust your parents to be the ones to have your best interest in your financial situation, seeing as they are even berating you to give in to the moochers in your family.
So, cutting off your family is a good thing you’ve done. Something you had to do to protect yourself and your future. Just make sure to take whatever precautions you need to that will protect you from any possible harm they may cause you should anything happen to you.
Also, always a good idea, even when you’re not so financially well off, is a pre-nup. Protects you and your potential SO (especially if they’ve also got pre-marital assets). And any will you have setup before you find a life partner can be amended to include them & any kids you may have. Heck, as you get older, you can amend your will to make changes as life’s circumstances change for you as you get older anyway. Just make sure you have a competent estate planner who can help you ensure that your will and any amendments do not give any of your ex-family a chance to challenge it.
For anyone who suddenly gets a lot of money - Lawyer and financial expert.
Lawyer to make sure the source is safe, the will doesn\`t allow loopholes etc.
Financial expert to make sure you keep the money safe.
Challenge is to find ones that are trustworthy...
You are not wrong - especially since they only now reach out - your summarization "they see me as a bank account" is correct.
And your parents - ask them "if family means so much, why do they only NOW want contact - where were they back when (event)?"
Get a good financial advisor and surround yourself with seasoned, honest, intelligent individuals. Check them all often. Even having other financial advisors review your plan so no one takes advantage of you. Do as much learning as you can and look into getting a business degree and taking finance courses. This is your life now. Educate yourself.
You need to talk to two people: a lawyer, and a therapist. Think of this as a game, playing offense and defense.
First, you go into therapy to sort out YOUR feelings outside of everyone else and get to your Truth. Of course you're missing and mourning your grandfather's loss... and now maybe you're getting a spoonful taste of what he went through for years with this pack of parasites.
Next talk to a lawyer. Get your own will in order. Make sure nobodys going to kill you to be next in line. There was a good reddit post on what to ACTUALLY do if you win a lottery... one of the suggestions was to change your number, and blackout all social media, and set up some kind of trust for all the people who'd come crawling out of the woodwork with their hands out... not to just grant wishes like "send my kids to college and pay all my debts" ... so you need a neutral voice to help you *possibly* do something like a "family foundation" for repayable low interest loans. They can borrow up to 20k once... for college, for a home or health emergency... but no more until they pay the original amount back.
Or not. You're not obligated to, it's more a situation of having a buffer in place "Oh you need to apply to the Family Foundation for that, I dont make any of those decisions the directors take care of grant approval." Then you're the great guy who's a generous philanthropist... and if they really are serious about fixing their lives they won't have a problem filling out a grant application.
You're not cutting them off out of spite but because you're overwhelmed with the stress of a major life change and a loss... not just of your grandfather but of your former, simpler, maybe somewhat rose-colored life where everyone wasnt up in your business or whining to you about their woes.
You can fix things with your parents later, right now take your time to get to your truth and find your equilibrium. Read The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley... it might help you sift through the "big hat no cattle" people that come along and give you perspective on those who were living beyond their means because their retirement plan was picking the bones of their deceased father. You dont need to enable that nonsense... you might see why your grandfather skipped over his own kids to a grandchild who he connected with to keep his legacy intact.
So your grandfather left you a multi million dollar business and 8 figure inheritance but no plan or training in the business? You were really close but he didn’t prepare you for taking over? He had the foresight to only leave you in sole charge of his business but didn’t prepare you to take over? So he was fine with you tanking his legacy and to destroy the lives of the workers in the company if it tanks? Yeah… sure kid.
FAKE. I think this is fake. There's no way that a business, presumably the successful business that created this fortune, would have been left to him with him having to hire helpful people. These senior guides would have already been in place.
NTA. If your grandfather made it so clear that everything goes to you, it honestly pretty likely they did the same thing to him. I’m mostly speculating, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the reason he left it to you was because you were the only family member to never ask him for money.
Do what you think is right. If your parents keep pushing it, be prepared for them to also be asking for money.
Fuck off with your fake story about your unbelieveably dumb grandfather.
/u/DelayAppropriate9457 has a mentally handicapped billionaire grandpa and OP writes like he's grandpas intellectual equal
> I (M19) and I recently inherited a ton of money eight figures, to be exact and my late grandfather's business. He was a super successful businessman, and we were really close. He always said he wanted me to have everything because he believed in my future. His will made it clear that everything was meant for me alone.
> As soon as everyone found out about the inheritance, my aunts and uncles, who I hadn't heard from in years, started reaching out. They were all asking for money, each with their own sob stories. One uncle wanted to pay off his debts, another aunt needed money for her kids' college funds, and so on. Some even hinted they should get a share of the business profits because they're "family."
> I was overwhelmed and didn't know how to deal with it. It felt like they only saw me as a bank account, not a family member. I didn't want to be responsible for their financial issues, especially since they were never there for me growing up. They only showed up at family gatherings to keep up appearances but never really cared about me.
> Managing the business has been tough. I'm young and inexperienced, but I'm determined to honor my grandfather's legacy. I've been learning a lot and hired some experienced professionals to help run things. The pressure from my aunts and uncles asking for money just made everything even more stressful.
> After a lot of thought, I decided to cut them off. I blocked their numbers and stopped responding to their messages. Now, my parents are furious with me, saying that I'm being selfish and that family comes first. They think I should at least help out my aunts and uncles a little bit.
> I don't know what to do with all this money and the business. I want to use the inheritance wisely, make sure the business thrives, and ensure everything lasts. I was thinking about investing, maybe expanding the business, or putting the money towards my education and future. But now, I'm second-guessing myself. Am I being an asshole for cutting off my family like this? Should I be helping them out with the money and business my grandfather left me?
Grandpa knew that your aunts and uncles would destroy the business by using it as a piggy bank until it went broke. Grandpa trusts you to not do that. Honor grandpa and keep the business running.
Tell your parents that grandpa gave it to you because you wouldn't loot it of the funds needed to keep it running. You will honor grandpa. If grandpa had wanted to pay off the bills of his kids he would have. If your parents can't be happy for you then you may have to go low contact with them. Tell them that you can't handle the stress of learning to run a business while being badgered nonstop and that includes badgering from them. They need to stop requesting you give away money or you will have to cut contact with them too.
NTA
They are leeches, and you are better off without them in your life. Work hard, as your grandfather expected. Put enough of the money aside to live the rest of your life in comfort. Put some of it toward the business when needed. Put some of it toward a philanthropic endeavor. This kind of money can change lives, you have a responsibility to your self and your grandfather's legacy.
Make one will call of grand gestures. Give everyone a "gift" of a fixed small value (something otherwise investable) and tell them to be reasonable and responsible..
Then remind them that had they shown better judgement they could have had those keys to the proverbial kingdom.
Why would your super successful grandfather leave everything directly to you at 19 and not leave the money and business with a professional and give you time to mature? Seems insane to me.
Not wrong at all, there is a reason why he didn't leave anything to them and they are now showing you that reason. Stand your ground, don't give them a dime. If your parents keep pushing then go LC with them as well. You ahve hired professionals to help you out, trust in them and take some business courses while you can to help you understand and deal with things better. Once you are ready then you can take on everything yourself. Just remember that those professionals are your employees, not your bosses. YOU have final say in everything.
Tell your parents that if he had wanted them to have anything, he would have given them something in his will. Tell them if they keep bothering you, that you will have no choice but to block them too.
Honestly you should do what you want. The moment your grandfather's estate passed on to you upon his death, it's yours and yours alone to do what you want with it, and if you wanted to honor your grandfather's legacy by continuing his business enterprise then you should focus on that and use your money for your sake. You will probably thank yourself in the future.
Ever asked them why they didn't ask money from your grandfather? Or why they never contacted you or your grandpa until now? Or why your uncle's debts (which he accumulated on his own) or your aunt's college funds (which you don't have any parental obligation to give to your aunt's children) are your business? It might sound selfish but it sounds like they're taking advantage of the fact that you're young and have money to emotionally guilt-trip you to coughing up cash for them.
Not Wrong, just immature and unable to have adult conversations.
I think you should help your family, but only once you know your actual income and expenses and your life is more stable. Being able to tell them that you'll try to help them when you're able is key, and you can budget what your family will get.
These conversations require strength and maturity where blocking people and blowing up your family is the easy way.
I see two ways of handling this, first is continuing to cut them off, second is offering one time support (idk what liquid funds you have, but my first thought is a thousand or two at most) with the promise that they will never talk to you again. I don't know their personalities, but if they are going to try harassing you beyond the numbers you blocked the latter might work better to get you some peace of mind.
As far as what to do with the money, I would only caution you against putting all your eggs in one basket at this point. You are 19, hopefully you have 80 more years ahead of you, and being smart with this money will let you feel the benefits for a long time. If you don't already have one, I would recommend hiring either a fiduciary to help manage both an education fund and start a retirement fund, or a tax guy to help you minimize your tax burden and figure out a short term (3-5 year) financial plan.
/r/personalfinance has a good flowchart on where to put money first (and an even better wiki with loads of info, but that is much more reading than you might want to do). Make sure you have your basics covered, but then the only place you should really be second guessing yourself is if it feels like you are overly committing to one path.
If you do decide to give anyone money, ask for the bill and pay it directly. Don't give anyone cash. Maybe set up small trust funds for cousins for college if you have enough, but you don't have to.
NTA
Sending hugs and healing thoughts.
Now - do you have a lawyer? Your grandfather's business should have had a lawyer on retainer - or he had an executor. Set up a meeting with the lawyer.
You should take some college level business courses (not online YouTube/Udemy type courses). You will need the business information to make certain that you are not being taken advantage of by these 'experienced professionals' you hired. It is so easy to just let them do the work - but that makes it easy for them to screw you over.
If your grandfather wanted them to have the money - he would have left them the money. He wanted YOU to have this future because YOU were close to him. He knew that the rest of the family were just leeches who were more interested in money than in him.
Take care of yourself! I hope your parents aren't pressuring you for money too. Your job should be to learn as much as much as you can - you are only 19!! This is the start of a wonderful life!!
There’s a reason why they are asking you and didn’t ask grandpa before he died. They know you are you g and want to manipulate you. Block block amd block your parents if you have to. If gramps had wanted them to have some, he’d have left them some.
Ever read the book If You Give A Mouse A Cookie? If you give these parasites anything, they'll never stop trying to suck you dry. Your parents are mad because they're the ones getting harassed now instead of you. That's all.
Cut off all these people and get yourself into some quality therapy to help you navigate these new challenges.
And remember: you didn't ask to exist and you don't owe any member of your family a single fucking thing.
there is a reason that your grandpa left you the money and his business, and not them. stick to your guns and don't let family mettle with what you and only you inherited.
You are not wrong. The most important thing is to honor the wishes of your grandpa and set your future up. After all of that, if you still want to help your cousins/aunts/uncles, that is up for you to decide, no one else.
My advice is do what you are doing, set up the business for it to continue working well, invest in yourself and once you have a handle on that and have a clear understand of your financial position and outlook you can decide if you want to help out family members or not. I would stress careful on who you label as family, people that you haven´t had a relationship with for years and only started talking to you now because they want something from you are NOT family. If your grandpa wanted them to have a portion of the business/inheritance he would have added them to the will.
Not wrong. Do not help them out. Your grandfather could have helped them out himself. He did what he did for a reason.
If you want to go against your grandfather's wishes, then you are dishonoring him. HIS father was left out of his wishes for a reason. They only want something from you, they don't want to be "family" with you.
Know them for what your grandfather knew them. Your parents aren't much better than your other family as there is a reason your father/mother didn't get the business, you did.
Would definitely hire a lawyer to help in dealing with "family". you are not obligated to help, like you said they crawled out from bum fuck middle of nowhere with the audacity to ask for money, while being fucking ninjas for majority of your life.
NTA if your grandfather wanted to leave anyone else money, he would have.
Whether it's inheritance or winning the lotto, you will always get leeches coming out of the woods to take what they can get from you. You are smart and mature enough to know they are only talking to you to get money. Once you give them some money, more people will come crawling. They will try to manipulate and bully you because you are young. Stand your ground, even if it's against your parents' wishes. Do what's best for you.
People who come into large amounts of money be warned ⚠️
Most people who win or inherit a fortune are met with exactly what you are experiencing, OP. Those that follow the advice that your parents are giving you end up penniless and sometimes more in debt than where they started. Stop 🛑 They are not to pass Go. They are not to collect $200. You have a good sense of what you should be doing and your ambitions are exactly as they should be. Live within your means, get an education so you can effectively carry on the family business, hire professionals in the meantime to help and mentor you, and, most importantly, don't put all your eggs in one basket. You shouldn't technically have to block people as the vulture should eventually weed themselves out with enough "no" but you're NTA for just cutting the drama out preemptively
Just remember, they all acted this way to your grandfather too. You didn't treat him that way, and thats why he gave it to you.
Never give them a single dime, because vultures never stop coming back for more.
I’ll take things that never happened for $500….are we really meant to believe that an astute business man who amassed enough to leave his grandson millions was not astute enough to set up the support he needed to run the business and manage his wealth?
You're not the asshole for prioritizing your own well-being and honoring your late grandfather's wishes. Inheritances can bring complicated dynamics, especially when it comes to money. It's important to focus on what's best for you and the legacy your grandfather entrusted to you. Seeking advice from trusted advisors and making decisions that align with your values and goals is crucial. Take your time to navigate this new responsibility wisely.
Don't do it. Your family will still treat you like shit. I myself had one sizeable lawsuit and kept a little bit and gave the rest to my parents so that they could pay off their debts and avoid a third bankruptcy
They still ended up treating me like shit and I haven't spoken to them in years
Once these people in your family get what they want from you, they will leave again. So don't give them a damn thing. You'll have the same relationship with them either way.
If your grandfather wanted them to have the money he would have left them the money, not you.
Never give in to the leeches.
Good luck with your business brother. It already sounds like you're making conscientious and intelligent decisions. Stick with that.
If your grandfather wanted to give the money to them he would’ve done it. The least your family could’ve done is wait a few months before hounding you and making their intentions so obvious. You are honoring your grandfather by taking his legacy seriously and dedicating your time and money to keeping his business running! That’s extremely mature for anyone let alone a teenager. He was right to trust you and I’m sure saw all of these qualities in you while he was alive. I am sorry for your loss, of your grandpa and for your family that you had to cut off. It sucks to know people only care about you for what you have, especially when they’re blood relatives. That must have been a hard decision to make. Your parents are more concerned with appearances it seems, so don’t worry about them, when they see how driven you are and the success you find, I’m sure they’ll be much more understanding. I’m sure your grandpa would be proud.
There's a reason why your grandfather didn't give them the money both before or after his death. They probably didn't have anything to do with him while he was alive and only want to hit you up now because he wouldn't give them a free ride. I don't know how you should deal with your parents, perhaps tell them that they are more than welcome to give out their money if they choose.
No, but I think I *might* know a solution.
For the aunt, set up a fund specifically for the children: they can only be accessed at a certain age and ONLY used for schooling. This would include dorm room, books, tuition, and the like. Food, renting an apartment off-campus, and the other bills will not count. If they decide not to go to higher education, then the conditions are forfeit, and the money is returned to the original owner.
As for your uncle, only pay current debts related to housing. Any business ventures, debts from gambling, or such are off-limits. Future debts that he accepts are not applicable, as he will make that decision on his own free will.
As for sharing the profits, unless they intend to get into the family business, either by investing or working, the money would be taken away from the people who actually put their livelihoods into the company.
Family does come first, but the fact they think inheriting a company and money simply means you can siphon it away from other families is hypocritical. Your employees work hard, as well as you.
Your grandfather sounds like a smart guy. If he had wanted anyone besides you to get anything, he would have made provisions. I'm guessing he knew you were strong enough to handle the parasites who discovered a new food source. It's very likely that they tried to hit up your grandfather during his lifetime. Your parents may express an opinion, but there's no reason for you to put up with them constantly harping at you.
Congratulations on having earned the trust of your grandfather. He wouldn't have made you his sole heir unless he thought you were up to it. NTA.
You just inherited 8 figures and a business from your grandfather, and you’re not gonna help your grandfather’s own children? My friend, you need to be able to sleep at night. I would get a lawyer to draft a letter to each of grandpa’s kids (your parent and your aunts/uncles) saying that you’re gonna give them each $X dollars, but a stipulation of them accepting that money is that they agree to never ask you for money again. If they ask for more money in the future, they will have to pay back the amount that you’ve given them already. Personally, depending on how many children your grandpa had, I would give each of them $500k to $1mil. Considering that the business is so successful, you’ll be able to easily live off the money the business brings in, and put the rest of your money into an account that will gain interest so you can retire early. So to answer your question, yes, I think you’re wrong. You’re very young and you’re being very greedy for no reason. Just imagine if your parents died and they gave all their money to your sibling’s teenage kid and ignored everyone else. Life isn’t just about money, it’s also about being part of a community and helping those around you. I can’t even imagine having that kind of a financial windfall and not immediately offering to pay for my cousins college
And I haven’t seen some of them in like a decade.
Ya that would be a dick move. You could at least help all the kids in the family with some college funds. Even 10k for each family member might be a huge help and you wouldn't even miss it, unless there's 100s of family members. You say they weren't there for you, but did you ever call them or reach out to them? Don't be greedy, it's not good for your mental health. Have a lawyer deal with it, it won't be that stressfull, just refer everyone to a lawyer with a stipulation that if they complain they get less money.
Sounds like your parents need to back off. Grandfather gave you the money, everyone else can crawl back into their holes.
Agreed. It's your inheritance, not a family bailout fund. You're right to focus on honoring your grandfather's wishes and securing your own future.
Yeah, exactly! It's your inheritance, and your decision how to handle it. Your family's sudden interest in your life and money sounds exhausting. Focus on what's best for you and the business your grandfather entrusted to you.
Agree. Sounds like his grandfather knew exactly what type of people his family are and that’s why he gave it all to OP.
Crawl back into their holes?? Their dad just died and he left everything to their sibling’s teenage kid. If I was OP I would ABSOLUTELY share some of the money with my parents/aunts/uncles but not share the business. Unless OPs family treated grandpa like absolute trash, it was unbelievably cruel for grandpa to give everything to OP, but even then, I would 100% pay for all of my cousin’s college. Life isn’t just about money, folks. It’s about what you do with your money and how you treat other people. I get the argument that “grandpa wanted you to have it, he left it all to you” but that definitely doesn’t mean that OP isn’t allowed to be a decent person once he’s received it.
There’s a reason grandpa didn’t leave his own offspring the money. Probably because those kids wanted the money and didn’t want to work for any of it
Are you one of the aunts/uncles? 😆 No. Gramps had a reason he left his money to OP..and once you start giving to people who are harassing others for money the begging never stops.
You go pay for the college and help them all out. OP treated his grandfather well and spent time with him when no one else would. He owes his greedy family nothing. I have a toxic family. If one of my grandparents had left me money, they’d get nothing. I would help out my husband’s family but they are millionaires so not necessary
I’m kinda with you on this one. 8’digits is a minimum of $10 million. To make it simple, I’d give each aunt and uncle $X and each cousin $Y (pick a figure). My personal values would not allow me to keep it all. If it makes it easier OP could get each of them to sign an agreement not to ask for more money.
Not at all. He trusted you with the inheritance, not them. Their greed will never subside, and you owe nothing to no one. Do not feel guilty about that. Invest that money and enjoy what you were blessed to receive from your grandfather. Good luck with the business!
And to piggyback off your comment.... why didn't they just ask their dad for the money? If they waited to ask you, there's a good reason as to why they never got anything from their OWN FATHER!!!!
If they weren’t around for you before you inherited anything I would just tell those mooches to pound sand. They want you to be their meal ticket.
More so- there's a REASON he trusted you and not them. If you're trying to run the business and have selected some pros to help, it sounds like you deserve his trust and will make the business succeed. He probably left them nothing because he knows (correctly) the kind of people they are- looking for a handout. Personally I'd spread the joy- give your parents a single, one-time gift of maybe 50-75k each. Give them the checks and tell them that you love them and appreciate them bringing you up and being good parents. Tell them that you will not speak of this money to anyone or mention it with them ever again, but if they want help with investing you can give them advice or refer them to someone competent to help keep it safe. And tell them if they want to give it to your aunts and uncles they are welcome to- it's their money and their decision but this is a one time thing as the rest of the money is getting reinvested. They may suddenly have a bit more sympathy for you.
I completely agree here. Your grandfather wisely trusted you with ensuring that the business will continue. He likely knew that the rest of the family members would destroy the business because of personal greed How are you personally compensated? I am guessing it is some combinstiion of salary and a a distribution of the profits? (This is if course profits after you have ensured they adequate resources have been reinvestrd into the business for other costs such as expansion, etc. This amount will change each year). If you want to help "family" with the family money, you can designate a percentage of your disbursement as going towards a ",help family" fund. Make a big show of putting your parents in charge of the fund. Have experts set it up formally so taxes are paid, etc. Then direct family members to your parents. They think you should help? Well, you did. But you are busy running a business. Your parents can deal with the squabbling relatives. It isn't your problem anymore. You have been generous and are helping family by generating the money. It is the least your parents can do to distribute to the most needy. How long will it take before the family splinters and you need to discontinue because the money is just ruining the family. f you want to maintain connection to your family
Excellent! 👍❤️
**on gifting money** - check with your accountant, you can gift so much money to a person tax free, you and they need to know the tax implications before you decide IF you wish to give money to anyone, and how much, it's something you may want to do max amount (use to be $10,000. per person in USA) over 5 years IF you choose to give them money you said you inherited 6 figures, you need to find out inheritance tax laws where you live in usa depends on state, Federal is different - your account and/or lawyer can help you as you could be hit hard on all or part of the money and business left to you. I would suggest waiting until you have that all figured out how much you will owe in taxes, as to how much you have left before you start gifting large sums of money 6 figures can be $100,000 to $999,999 (no one here needs to know) but the amt will possibly affect your taxes a lot, so gifting money (if you choose to) should wait until you have all that figured out - there will be quarterly and annual taxes to be paid on the business and interest on your money and any investments, once you have run the business for a full year, you will have a better handle on all that if you haven't you need to ask your accountant how much the business was worth the day you inherited it, should you ever decide to see you will need the date inherited and what the value of the business was for tax info should you ever decide to sell it sounds like your parents might be doing fine financially since they didn't ask you for money, so if you choose to gift them anything, it can probably wait a year
I wouldn't give them cash. I would get them a vacation trip or something . Other people might talk shit bc they asked for money and didn't receive it while he gives his parents money. It could put beef between the parents and the aunts and uncles. They are brother and sister . Kids of his grandpa I wouldn't even put the parents in that position where they have to decide to give some money to the uncles and aunts. The grandfather didn't give them a dime for a reason. Him giving his parents money and the aunt and uncles receiving it. Would be the same as if he gave it to them since it's his money. The grandfather knew how his own kids were. If he didn't give them a dime . He shouldn't give them a dime. I'm sure if the grandfather wanted to give his parents money he would have . To me.. it seems like his parents are like his aunt and uncles. If they weren't. The grandfather would have gave them money . Think about it.
Bingo-what's-his-name-o! This comment hits it on the nose with "He trusted you with the inheritance, not them." There is a reason why your grandfather's kids didn't get it. Don't feel guilty. Do your grandpa proud and keep his legacy going.
Your parents are stupid. Help once and it will never end. If they deserved it it would have been left to them.
💯💯💯
You owe nothing to any relative that did not provide some kind of support for you whether it be financial, emotional or just practical experience. If they did not contribute to your upbringing in a positive way then they do not deserve anything. It has been said, “nothing like a death or divorce to bring people’s true colors to the surface.” This has happened to you. If you want to be generous, offer employment positions to those that are qualified to work in your business. If your grandfather wanted to share his wealth with them he would have. He chose you and you alone, that should tell you a lot about what he thought of you and what he thought of them. You might want to point out to some, that jealousy is not a flattering look or personality trait. Enjoy the money, get an education either through schooling or through the business your grandfather left you. College is not always the right answer for everyone. Put a lot into a trust so it is safe from lots of things (see a lawyer) and secure, for you when you get too old to earn money. That day will come, I am there now. Good luck!
Bad advice about hiring. Their own father didn't want to have them in his company and he obviously was far more experienced than OP and knew a lot about hiring as his business was that successful.
Give any of them anything at all, and it will never stop...because it worked once. There is no "help a little bit" with this. Your parents need to back off and you are right to have blocked the rest of the bunch. You need lawyers and financial advisors to help you with that much money - hopefully your grandfather set you up with some. Don't make any big money moves for a few years - let the dust settle, figure out whether the business suits you, and put the money somewhere safe - don't spend it, don't give it to family, and please be very wary of every woman you meet from now on - you are exactly what gold diggers look for. Wait till you are 25 at least before making big changes - and if you want to go to university, I'd consider doing that as it's a great way to learn about people and new things. Human brains don't physically mature until age 25. Give yourself space to learn and grow, and don't let others pull you off course.
You can not please everyone. The sooner you come to terms with that harsh truth life becomes a lot easier. That being said you owe them nothing and owe it to your grandfather to keep both his business and legacy alive.
Sounds fake or grandad was a moron. Who leaves a 19 year old a multi million dollar business without any guidance?
We have a winner! These stories are so easy to see through.
Does Reddit generate these stories for clickbait? Or is it some loser with no life?
Some are made by losers who want their story to go viral and made into tik tok / minecraft videos. Some have to be staff creating clickbait Some are karma farming accounts that will be sold off later. I'm sure they are other reasons.
Training and testing AI bots.
I was just thinking the same thing. Grandpa must have been a real savvy businessman to leave millions + his business to a kid… unless it was grand father’s plan to nuke his own company and a big “Fuck you” to the family.
I’m sorry but as a large language model my ability to swallow bullshit is quite limited.
What you have to think about is your future and peace. I recommend putting a set amount of money in a trust and hiring someone to oversee that, a pro who is not family. A lot an amount that can be given out each year for education or medical emergencies. Then go about your life and let them deal with that professional. Good luck to you!
Here’s the thing that there’s no getting away from , most family members who want your money are a bottomless pit and will not stop until you’re broke like them. You couldn’t buy them out of there problems if you had 10 times as much money. Please don’t fall for it.
If your parents want to help them, then they can help them. There’s a reason your grandfather wants it to you. If he wanted them to have it, he would’ve willed it to them.
Not wrong. Check with your grandfather’s lawyer as they may know who your grandfather used as a fiduciary for his financial investments. Or dig through your grandfather’s papers to see if you can find it. Worst case if you have friends with successful parents with common sense ask them who they use.
You take care of you first. Going to college yourself is an absolutely grand idea, go for it!
Your grandfather left his kingdom to you for a reason. If he wanted his children to receive anything he would have said so. Keep them blocked and tell your parents we aren't talking about this.
NTA your grandfather trusted you and your judgment. People come out of the woodwork when they find out that you have money when they never else cared about you.
You owe your family nothing. They were not there when you were young. It is overwhelming to suddenly get a lot of money. I would recommend going to a reputable financial advisor to help you navigate the funds you received. As far as your grandfather’s business, it may not be a bad idea to get someone you trust to manage it while you learn. Take some business courses.
Your grandfather sounds like a very savvy businessman. There was a reason he did not leave them anything. They had an entire lifetime to prove to your grandfather that they were worthy, and didn’t. Your grandfather saw something in you, even as a teenager, that was missing in the rest of his family.
Grandfather must have lost it by the end because who leaves a multi million dollar business to a teen? This post is clearly fake
If your grandfather wanted them to have anything, he would have left them inheritances of their own. My guess is these people only treated him like a bank account too. You don't owe any of them anything, including your parents. If they want to push the issue go NC with them too until they learn their lesson.
Absolutely do not share the money. If you help one it will never end. Your grandfather knew what he was doing and knew you would work hard to keep the business going. Good for you for working hard and supporting the business. You are smart to hire smart people.
You should probably look for a reputable financial advisor. Talk to the lawyer who did your grandfather's will to start. Do research for what to look for. But don't make any big decisions for a year (as most will tell you).
He gave it all to you for a reason and you should honor that reason nobody has the right or is entitled to any of it, family or not using the family card even after not being family for the whole duration of your life, doesn't qualify for them to feel entitled to it if they're having issues, they need to figure it out themselves they shouldn't be depending on a young man starting out in life. It is not your responsibility or obligation. they are grown adults. They had their lives to figure out their life. You were just starting out in life and have every right start that life how your grandfather planned. They obviously were cut out for a reason and seeing how they're coming out of the woodwork, I see the reason now.greed and you are not responsible for anybody's college funds. Their parents need to figure that out or the people that are going to college need to figure it out for themselves like plenty of other people in the world do what they have done if you had gotten nothing, they would still be the same, they should act like they even know about it to begin with because it's none of their business or their entitlement
Sure
NTA Your grandfather left it to you instead of them. Chances are that he helped them out many times over the years so maybe they've already received their inheritance. Ask parents, "Family? What family? None of them have ever treated me like family. I'm treating them as they always treated me, with indifference." Notice your parents also weren't on the inheritance list so chances are they've already gotten what your grandpa wanted them to have. Don't allow them to guilt trip you. Start seeing a therapist to learn how to more easily stand up to these people. While keeping charge of the company make sure second in command is reliable and trustworthy. Take courses for business or whatever your business pertains to.
Honor your grandfather's wishes but absolutely get a business/finance degree to help run/hire competent people to run the company. You 100% need to be able to double check their work.
If your grandfather wanted them to have anything, he would have left them something. That is yours alone, he left it to you
Hire a manager for the business. The manager will mentor you. Also go to business school simultaneously. Running a business isn’t easy. You have to learn how to do it. You are not anybodies bank account. Don’t worry about the others. Your grandfather was very specific that this is for you and no one else. If when you begin making your own paycheque you want to help that can be your guide, but if you still wouldn’t give then don’t.
“Family comes first”. I think this only counts if they were helping and treating you right as well. If family came first you wouldn’t be feeling this way. You choice is the way to go.
Fiction
NTA. Do not listen to your parents! Your grandfather wanted you to have everything.
If family comes first, then why does nobody put you first? Or put your grandfathers wishes first?
>Am I being an asshole for cutting off my family like this? Should I be helping them out with the money and business my grandfather left me? There's a reason your grandfather left everything to you, and excluded the rest of your family members. You have no obligation to bail out your family members. Your grandfather would have included them in the will if he had wanted them to be bailed out. If you want to run your grandfather's business into the ground and lose all of your inheritance, then go ahead and bail out your family members until they have taken everything from you. Otherwise, tell them, including your parents, to pound sand. You are not their cash cow. You are not wrong, and not an asshole. Your family are being assholes over money that is not theirs.
You are not wrong but maybe just to appease your parents (and possibly a tax write off) the company could set up some kind of family scholarship/trust for some education needs. Talk to lawyers if you feel like doing something like that but don't feel obligated if your grandpa wanted to support the whole family he would have split it all up sounds like he gave it to you for a reason.
This is the best way. Your GF knew exactly what type of family he had and chose to not reward them with his hard earned wealth. Respect his decision but by establishing an educational trust for the children you can help them to develop a better future than their parents chose.
Take care of yourself to preserve the business before trying to take care of others. Get the education and help you need to run the business and makes sure the people you hired aren't siphoning money. Then you can decide if you want to help anybody.
NTA. Since your parents didn't get anything, either, your grandfather didn't trust THEM, as well.
If gramps didn't help them then you don't need to either
No, it’s your money. They didn’t ask grandpa because they knew he would have said NO. Stay firm. Tell them if they need money, you will give them a job to help them out. It sounds like you have enough money to last a lifetime, maybe consider sell the business and move away and enjoy your life. You could be dead tomorrow. Enjoy today and get the negative people out of your life now. Good luck. Don’t let them get to you
When your grandfather was alive, why didn’t they go to him to ask for money? Or did they and he said no? That money existed before he died and those family members had their needs before he died. So I would ask myself and perhaps even them why didn’t they ask grandfather for the money?
I'm a softie, and my first impulse is to do something to help. If MY inheritance WRRE $20m or more, I probably would write a check for $100,000 each. But then I'm super close with my sisters, and neither of them are struggling. If they asked a second time, I'd give them what they needed. Having said that, if you give them a can't, they'd be back for more in a heartbeat. I would suggest that you find some charity, like Doctors Without Borders or World Central Kitchen, which feeds people in disaster zones, and set up a donation. Good luck to you, and kudos for being the grandson your grandfather needed.
NTA You can do what your relatives want, or you can honor your grandfather's wishes. You can't do both. Choose wisely.
NTA, you need time to figure things out. Your grandpa was clear with his wishes, he probably knew how shitty the rest of the family is.
NTA hang on to the plan you have in place invest the money in secure assets government securities and large bank CDs continue to grow the business along the established way your grandfather did there’s nothing wrong with helping family members but do so by setting up a nonprofit that is designed to help them help themselves
NTA. You are only doing what your grandfather wanted. As for your parents, it might be a good idea to take a step back from them for a little while. You don't owe anyone in your family any money. If you want to help a few of them, that's perfectly fine. Don't let them bully you into it.
you've done well getting some experience in to help ruin things. let it all settle in before doing anything big like giving away money. business with expenses and debts can be complicated things, pulling money out is not always straight forward and consequences may not be clear until later. Does he have an accountant of financial advisor you can turn to who is well across the debts and liabilities and plans for the company? As for anyone pressuring you for money now, cut them off.
NTA but change your phone number.
Not wrong. Cut them off. I have you are taking business classes to help navigate this business
You know to make it easier you can lie to them and tell them you put it all in a trust that you can’t touch beyond paying for college until you are 30. That should at least give you some time to figure things out
Not wrong. You're young enough that this will of his was relatively recent. It wasn't something that was done 20 years ago that he just forgot about. You're honoring his wishes and your relatives are showing you there was good reason they weren't given money or a stake in the business.
You did the best thing . Only take care of your mom and dad nobody else is your problem.
Do you first. If your looking for away not to be the bad guy realize you will never please everyone. However, because it's family you may want to send a blanket email to everyone stating that you want to keep your grandfather's legacy, and while you are learning his affairs you will not be entertaining dispersing money to any family members at this time. Years from now you may want to gift family members but by stopping it now will allow you the time to know what's what. It's sad that you are put in this position, but at 19 you are just not experienced enough to become responsible for everybody's problems. It will all work out. Good luck!
"They only showed up at family gatherings to keep up appearances...." How did you formulate that opinion about their behavior? It seems to me, if aunts and uncles showed up a family gatherings, it shows something other than keeping up appearances. Beyond that, you can do whatever you want with your money. It's yours.
Hire a financial advisor. NTA
You aren't wrong. If anyone else had been interested in the company, they would have been part of it. Just a suggestion or two. Talk to the existing money people that your grandfather had and ask for their advice. Also.... Get a business degree. Get specialized education for the job you have. You can do it while learning about the company. Don't make a huge change yet. Depending on the amount of money - you might be able to help people after you understand what's what and what the plans for the company should be. Good luck.
Can understand how overwhelming it can be due to your age and “family” hounding you, but do know that your grandpa left it ALL to YOU for a reason & NOT them. So honor him, learn the business & money management. Build your life and grow what he has given you. Everything else, is just noise at the moment. If you really want to give, Don’t plan to give anything till you turned 30, that is till you have learnt the ropes, got maturity and understand the consequences of what you are giving. These people, they want ONLY your money, they are already selfish and they have never put you first either & you are their family, right? So you don’t have to put them first either.
If your grandfather wanted them to have anything he would have left it to them in his will. Best thing you can do is cut these people off. Once you you've given once they'll expect it again and again. You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders, hiring people to help with the business etc. Keep your money and enjoy your life OP.
I’m guessing grandad helped them all while he was alive until he got fed up being the cash cow in their lives. If he’d wanted to leave them anything he would have. Ynw Don’t make any big plans to expand etc yet. Give yourself time to really get a grip on running the business first.
Please carefully consider that if your grandfather wanted any of these people to have a single dime of his money, he had every opportunity to leave it to them. Instead, he very specifically and purposefully left everything to you. Please honor his wishes and keep everything. Do not give anyone any money. Seek out a FIDUCIARY investment entity that will set up the cash portion of your inheritance to last you a lifetime. Don't use some small guy. Use Schwab, Fidelity, or some other large investment firm. That way, you won't end up in some ponzi scheme or with stupid investments. Buy a reasonably priced home. Don't get all nutty with expensive cars or other costly things, or you will blast through your money very quickly. Learn the business your grandfather believed you would take into the future. Sure, it will be hard, but you are young, and you're making great moves hiring good people to help. And, now, I'm very sorry to give you the big bad. And, I'm truly sorry, but you need to know this. Your grandfather didn't just exclude your distant relatives from his will. He also excluded your parents. And he did so for a reason. He may not have given you the reason, but he had one. And, it speaks volumes that the very people who should be urging you to be conservative and careful with your inheritance are insisting that you give portions of it away. I know they are your parents, but they are not to be trusted regarding your inheritance or your life decisions. Lastly, please make sure not to talk about your inheritance with pretty much anyone. Learn privacy. At 19, I know it's hard, but you will never regret not telling people, and there will be a lot of regret if you blab it around. Sending you my best wishes. Stay smart. Stay strong. Honor your grandfather and his memory.
YNW! He gave the money and business to you for exactly this reason. He clearly wanted you, alone, to have it. Follow his wishes. They’re only coming around now for money. Nope. Don’t waste a second worrying. You’re doing what your grandfather intended!
NTA. If your grandfather wanted to, he would have given them some of the money to pay their debts and college funds. You can chose to help. It might even be a tax write off at your level. But the choice needs to be yours whatever it is. Not pressure or guilt. Keep a good head on your shoulders. That kind of money changes everything.
My advice, for what it's worth, is to invest some of that money in an education in subjects to help you run your business competently. Invest the rest so it will give you an income. Build your future like your grandfather hoped. Ignore the family.
NTA. But I can see why you would be unsure. If you want to you could set aside some money to dole out in increments depending on who is more polite. Always live up to your responsibilities with the business. Cut off anyone who harasses you. If they continue to harassing you, file charges and get restraining orders.
I want you to think about this OP: if your grandfather didn't loan them money, and apparently they weren't asking him, why should you? He didn't for a reason.
Fake
You are not wrong. You can give as much, or as little, money to your family. If your grandfather did not give any money to his children, do not feel the need to do so. You might give money to his other grandchildren. If you do, make a trust with you in charge so their parents do not dive into it. If you want nothing to do with your family, have the company lawyer contact everyone and yeah them to cease requesting money. As for investing and growing your business, hire professionals with a proven track record of growth to advise you or handle your investments. Start out with a small amount and see how they do.
Your grandfather is a dick. He’s pitting you against the family. His choice as to what he does with his money but no way this ends well. This sounds like a blessing for you. lol. This is a curse. You’re about to lose your whole family. And neither side would be wrong. But, no way would I continue a relationship with my cousin who got 8 figures and I got nothing. Nope, I’m not that mature.
You don’t owe anything to anyone. You’re not an AH for removing greedy, selfish, and insincere people from your life. Your family members are so crass for having no shame asking for money when they haven’t cared about being in your life for years. You are not their golden ticket or piggy bank. Be very careful with the people you hire to help you with the business and to manage your money. Thoroughly vet everyone you contract with and always get a second opinion. You’re young and there are so many people out there that will try to take advantage of you. Wishing you all the best.
Sorry, You gotta work three and it’s $80k.
Go to school and learn how to manage the business. Tell your parents to kick rocks.
NTA. Hopefully, some of the professionals that you've hired include a personal financial advisor as well as a business advisor. A personal financial advisor will guide with investing since you are inexperienced. I recommend that you get a degree that will educate you on running a business and maintaining a successful one before thinking about expansion and learn about the business from the workers and managers/supervisors. You might consider working for a period of time in some positions to gain a better understanding from the ground up rather than top down. Anyway, all the best you!
One thing you could do if you are sufficiently wealthy is just write them a one time check suitably large. And tell them that that’s all they’re going to get and have your lawyer draft a release and a nondisclosure. That way, you can feel like you did right you helped them. And you have no further obligation. I’m not familiar with what’s going on in that dynamic maybe has good reason to cut them off. But he gave you his money not necessarily so that you would be just like him. Obviously, I think he trusts you to make that decision or he would’ve put everything locked down in a trust.
“Rich people don’t pay taxes, they pay tax lawyers” Paying educated professionals was a wise move. Investing is also a wise move. Invest in multiple ventures, so not all eggs are in one basket. HYSA. Get a lawyer or 2 you feel comfortable with. Lawyers can screw a young kid like you too, so having a 2nd to double check the 1st might help with peace of mind. Geez, I feel for you. Honestly, having money makes it hard to trust anyone. Live like you’re still poor. Keep your status a secret. Lie to people, like saying you can’t access the money, it’s vested, you have to be 25 to utilize it, it’s in a trust and you only get so much a month. Good luck kid, and condolences for your loss.
Nta. Go back to school & learn business, learn money management & anything that will help you in that field or w money. The more handouts you give, the more they expect. This isn’t free money. This is your grandpas hard earned money. You can give it all away or you can grow w it. There are highs & lows in business, you have to be prepared if it dips low.
NTA but paying your success forward by helping with those college funds is the right thing to do. That’s also where I’d draw the line for money handouts.
What a load of tripe
So out of all the relatives he leaves it all to you? That means you did something good. Don't change your attitude because he trusted you. Think about what he would do and do the same.
The best way to honor what your grandfather wanted (his wishes) is to make it clear you will not be helping anybody out financially. Focus on building the business you know own. Your grandfather believes in you. Don’t let him down. Keep us updated.
A fool and his money are soon parted. Get a business education so you can run your new business. Stop worrying about your relatives who treat you like an ATM. Your parents should mind their own business. You’re an adult with a whole life ahead of you. Your grandfather left this money for you only. Honour his wish.
>His will made it clear that everything was meant for me alone. So your family arguing that you should help them out would be going against your Grandfather's will. >Now, my parents are furious with me, saying that I'm being selfish and that family comes first. Perhaps that might be why your grandfather left everything to you instead of to your parents. >I've been learning a lot and hired some experienced professionals to help run things. That is one of the smartest things you could do in this circumstance. Now that those things are in place, keep your family at arms length or cut them off entirely based on how they behave. Then take time to grieve and to get yourself the education and experience you need to become the success that your Grandfather was sure you could be.
Invest in yourself. Her the best education you can. Take care of the business. If you give them money they will never stop asking you for it. Stop it before it starts.
NTA! Tell your parents that they can also be cut off if they continue to try to control you. You’re an adult and it was left to you. Get a lawyer and financial planner. Get an education while running the business. Keep your family out of it.
He left it all to you for a reason. He knew you would do your very best with his business and his money. You don’t owe anyone anything. It’s your money. Don’t feel bad about doing what your grandfather wanted you to do with it
I've been where you're at but it wasn't alot of money. That didn't stop my relatives from badgering me. I finally cut them off. My financial advisor helped me sort where the money should go and helped me so much with investments. It's overwhelming at first and your relatives pressuring you doesn't help at all. You're doing everything right. Get a financial advisor- be picky about who you choose. Ask around amongst your friends and colleagues. You can't pick your relatives, but you CAN pick your family. Cut the relatives completely out of your life. They are NOT family. You will find your family soon enough. Go forth and live the life your grandfather wished upon you. May he rest in peace. He was definitely FAMILY.
Firstly, now you've discovered exactly why your grandfather didn't leave anything to anyone else. Moving forward, make a list of things you would like to do with this money. Book an appt with a very good financial advisor/planner. They will go through everything with you. You will need to keep them around as they will work within your best interests, make suggestions, give advice and direct. If you feel like getting some investment properties, they can assist you. Regarding the company, ask your financial advisor to see if they have a recommendation for a business mentor that can come in and work with you to show you how to operate and manage a company. It is unusual that your grandfather did this knowing you would not have a clue on what to do. You need someone that will stay with you to guide. Ensure you have all the necessary managers etc in place. This will be a big change for them and staff will be uncertain as to their future. Look into doing some business management courses too. NTA - block the family members. Tell your parents that there were explicit instructions and you plan on following them to a T. If they ask to look at them you say No, they're with the company's lawyers.
Did he also build a secret multi-million dollar home that no one in your family had ever heard about or seen before?? Just … No. And yeah, YWBW for telling this bs.
They knew about his money
You are not wrong at all. Yes you have inherited a great deal of money however you have also inherited a great responsibility at such a young age. Before you make any decisions, I would make sure you have good financial advisors in place. They can help you set short term, midterm and long term goals. They can assist in safeguarding your funds and assets to ensure your future and security. They can guide you through any familial assistance you would like to provide, to whom you’d like to provide it to. They can help establish these gifts/assistance or even trusts (which you now need). It’s quite a lot on young shoulders. Don’t make any decisions for a while. Just get your people lined up to assist you and let it settle. If your grandfather had wanted to provide for them he would have but it is not your responsibility. Good luck.
I'd suggest contact a lawyer, put a huge chunk of it away in a series of trusts for yourself, set it up so you don't have access to it until specific ages (like 25, 30 and maybe even onward). If you tuck it away whereas even you won't have access to it, they won't be able to get it either. Next, I'd consider creating an investment fund, and if possible (not sure if this would be a benefit for you as well), sell the business to your investment fund. This would mean you don't own the business anymore and they can't go after you the same way. Make sure, whoever you decide to settle down with SIGNS A PRENUP. In fact, have one ready ahead of time. Living off ONLY the money coming from divedends from investments will ensure you aren't touching the rest. 8 figures is generational - and would set up any kids you have in the future and theirs - as long as you don't touch it.
You have to cut those people off. The stress of just thinking about it, let alone actually dealing with it drain your energy and, in the end, your soul. I had a friend that was in this situation. Long lost family came out of the woodwork extremely friendly and obsequious. He saw them for what they were and cut them off. It would be good if you had an older man, someone like your grandfather to talk things over with. It could be someone like your grandfather‘s friend attorney or accountant. When you’re young, No matter how strong and ambitious you are(And appears you’re both of these) you do not have the experience and perspective that only had a lot of time and experience can give. Also, a therapist could be very helpful in helping you deal with your family. I was going through a family situation, and my therapist was invaluable by explaining exactly why other people were behaving the way they were and what their true motives were.
Grandfather may have been a super successful businessman, but he was terrible at planning his estate. No one with any sense would leave a fortune, including an operating business to a 19-year-old, unless it was in a trust or some other entity where he would receive some oversight and assistance. I’m gonna say this never happened. So YTA for making up this yarn.
No, you're not the asshole for wanting to protect your inheritance and focus on your own future. Inherited wealth and a business come with immense responsibility, and it's understandable that you want to prioritize managing them wisely. Cutting off family who only approached you for money shows you're setting boundaries to safeguard what your grandfather entrusted to you. It's important to seek guidance from trusted advisors and make decisions that align with your goals and values, even if it means disappointing others who may not have your best interests at heart.
NTA, but ask for proof of what they need the money for.
Every adult is responsible for their own money issues. They were when he was alive and they are now that he’s passed. He loved everything to you just get really wise about how you manage the business and your money and I would start cutting ties. Do you want to give them money fine but I would be careful because I have had money at times in my life and people come out of the woodwork.
Your grandfather did not give any money to his children for a reason. You might know what that reason is or you might not but he made it very clear that they were not getting anything. You need to honor his wishes.
I just love the perfect amount of paragraphs, the age-inappropriate use of words, the nondescript "business" - and the way the LLM thinks that the 'M' in 'M19' is short for '[I] am'
Not that I think you should, but if you wanted to, you could set up a yearly amount to help family and tell your parents they are responsible for who gets the money and then point all the relatives with their hands out towards your parents. I wouldn't give them the actual money, but a budget and you issue the checks
How do you know that he didn't give all the mooches money while alive? He could have, and that may be the reason he left it to you. If you give money to one, then the dam will be broken, and it will never end. Your parents need to mind their own business. It is what your grandfather wanted. He trusted you with his legacy. Get good legal and financial advice. Learn the business from top to bottom. Maybe school is for you or maybe not. Wishing you success.
It's up to you what you want to do, but if you're serious about maintaining his legacy, maybe the best thing to do is focus on keeping the business successful and growing it. Then and only then maybe you can consider helping the family, if and when you deem it necessary/appropriate. But running a business requires capital and cash flow. It's not 'free' money. This might be a good angle to take with family. Once the business is stable under your leadership you could even consider offering the family non-voting shares to provide dividends but no control. That gives everyone skin in the game to support you. But being an avid Redditor I have to say your mileage may definitely vary!!
You sure it wasn't a 832 figure business bro?
If they are family, poppa would have given them some, he didnt consider them family and u should respect that.
Grandfather was family. His interpretation of 'family comes first' was to leave everything to you. That is it! I guess I would advise you to make a plan for the (short) future, and tell family that you give yourself 10 years to administer/ use the inheritance, since you want it (and yourself) to mature into that situation. Like a self-imposed guardianship. There are enough situations like yours where the inheritor (you) only get full authority over their inheritance when they are 25, or 30 ... In ten years, family may ask again .....
You are absolutely right, your granddad gave everything to you for a reason. Make it clear with your parents that you do not tolerate this behavior and if they wish to continue it will affect the relationship with you.
NTA If you ever feel stuck on whether or not you should help them then remember your grandfather's words and wishes. From what you have written it sounds like he was quite specific with his plans for the inheritance.
Nope you are not wrong. And hire accountants and investment professionals to help guide what to do with this many millions of dollars. You don't want to squander it when you are now set for life.
Sounds like he gave you the inheritance simply because you didn’t care about the money nearly as much as the family did, you actually cared about him, I can tell the inheritance went to the correct person, because you want to help your grandfathers business thrive under your care, that’s awesome and I hope all goes well for you, and honestly at this moment, until they learn they don’t have any entitlement to that money, you shouldn’t speak with family that ask about it
NTA you always see who your friends and family really are when money is involved which now you have. I suggest in you getting your will done ASAP and keep getting advice from professionals.
Use part of the money to go to college and then get an MBA. Maybe a law degree too. But keep running the business. Experience is more valuable than the best biz school. As for your family, f ‘em. You’re honoring your grandfathers wishes.
You do not owe it to anyone to give them even one penny of your inheritance, whether in funds or a share of the business. There’s a reason your grandfather refused to gift any of your other relatives with any portion of his estate, and I’m betting it’s because those relatives that are your “family” had either been mooching off him for years OR had been counting on getting his money once he passed. Sounds like your parents are also in the boat with expecting you to give other family members “their fair share” or a leg up. But, if you send even one of those mooches a penny, it’ll never stop. Everyone else will be hounding you to help them because you helped “Uncle Fred” so they deserve help as well. And they won’t stop. New expenses/debts will continually arise. You should definitely hire a financial advisor (do your own research, don’t go with any suggestions from your family members and ESPECIALLY don’t trust any of those who offer to help you) if you haven’t already done so as you’ve been smart about seeking help from people more knowledgeable about running your new business. If it’s a business you were thinking of taking on when you were older, great. You may want to consider taking some college courses on business management and any other topics related to your business to help you better understand how it works. That way you can see if any of your hires are following whatever works best for your company. Also, I know that you’re only 19, but you should definitely be getting a will of your own setup sooner rather than later to ensure your inheritance goes where you want it to go should something happen to you. Also make sure that you have someone setup as a trusted caregiver should you become incapacitated due to injury or illness who you can trust not to take over your inheritance and take it away or give it all away while you’re unable to stop them from bleeding you dry. Too bad you can’t trust your parents to be the ones to have your best interest in your financial situation, seeing as they are even berating you to give in to the moochers in your family. So, cutting off your family is a good thing you’ve done. Something you had to do to protect yourself and your future. Just make sure to take whatever precautions you need to that will protect you from any possible harm they may cause you should anything happen to you. Also, always a good idea, even when you’re not so financially well off, is a pre-nup. Protects you and your potential SO (especially if they’ve also got pre-marital assets). And any will you have setup before you find a life partner can be amended to include them & any kids you may have. Heck, as you get older, you can amend your will to make changes as life’s circumstances change for you as you get older anyway. Just make sure you have a competent estate planner who can help you ensure that your will and any amendments do not give any of your ex-family a chance to challenge it.
For anyone who suddenly gets a lot of money - Lawyer and financial expert. Lawyer to make sure the source is safe, the will doesn\`t allow loopholes etc. Financial expert to make sure you keep the money safe. Challenge is to find ones that are trustworthy... You are not wrong - especially since they only now reach out - your summarization "they see me as a bank account" is correct. And your parents - ask them "if family means so much, why do they only NOW want contact - where were they back when (event)?"
Get a good financial advisor and surround yourself with seasoned, honest, intelligent individuals. Check them all often. Even having other financial advisors review your plan so no one takes advantage of you. Do as much learning as you can and look into getting a business degree and taking finance courses. This is your life now. Educate yourself.
You need to talk to two people: a lawyer, and a therapist. Think of this as a game, playing offense and defense. First, you go into therapy to sort out YOUR feelings outside of everyone else and get to your Truth. Of course you're missing and mourning your grandfather's loss... and now maybe you're getting a spoonful taste of what he went through for years with this pack of parasites. Next talk to a lawyer. Get your own will in order. Make sure nobodys going to kill you to be next in line. There was a good reddit post on what to ACTUALLY do if you win a lottery... one of the suggestions was to change your number, and blackout all social media, and set up some kind of trust for all the people who'd come crawling out of the woodwork with their hands out... not to just grant wishes like "send my kids to college and pay all my debts" ... so you need a neutral voice to help you *possibly* do something like a "family foundation" for repayable low interest loans. They can borrow up to 20k once... for college, for a home or health emergency... but no more until they pay the original amount back. Or not. You're not obligated to, it's more a situation of having a buffer in place "Oh you need to apply to the Family Foundation for that, I dont make any of those decisions the directors take care of grant approval." Then you're the great guy who's a generous philanthropist... and if they really are serious about fixing their lives they won't have a problem filling out a grant application. You're not cutting them off out of spite but because you're overwhelmed with the stress of a major life change and a loss... not just of your grandfather but of your former, simpler, maybe somewhat rose-colored life where everyone wasnt up in your business or whining to you about their woes. You can fix things with your parents later, right now take your time to get to your truth and find your equilibrium. Read The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley... it might help you sift through the "big hat no cattle" people that come along and give you perspective on those who were living beyond their means because their retirement plan was picking the bones of their deceased father. You dont need to enable that nonsense... you might see why your grandfather skipped over his own kids to a grandchild who he connected with to keep his legacy intact.
So your grandfather left you a multi million dollar business and 8 figure inheritance but no plan or training in the business? You were really close but he didn’t prepare you for taking over? He had the foresight to only leave you in sole charge of his business but didn’t prepare you to take over? So he was fine with you tanking his legacy and to destroy the lives of the workers in the company if it tanks? Yeah… sure kid.
FAKE. I think this is fake. There's no way that a business, presumably the successful business that created this fortune, would have been left to him with him having to hire helpful people. These senior guides would have already been in place.
NTA. If your grandfather made it so clear that everything goes to you, it honestly pretty likely they did the same thing to him. I’m mostly speculating, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the reason he left it to you was because you were the only family member to never ask him for money. Do what you think is right. If your parents keep pushing it, be prepared for them to also be asking for money.
Frost post replicated 3 times 🤔🐂💩
Don’t give them a penny and real estate is always a good investment
Fuck off with your fake story about your unbelieveably dumb grandfather. /u/DelayAppropriate9457 has a mentally handicapped billionaire grandpa and OP writes like he's grandpas intellectual equal > I (M19) and I recently inherited a ton of money eight figures, to be exact and my late grandfather's business. He was a super successful businessman, and we were really close. He always said he wanted me to have everything because he believed in my future. His will made it clear that everything was meant for me alone. > As soon as everyone found out about the inheritance, my aunts and uncles, who I hadn't heard from in years, started reaching out. They were all asking for money, each with their own sob stories. One uncle wanted to pay off his debts, another aunt needed money for her kids' college funds, and so on. Some even hinted they should get a share of the business profits because they're "family." > I was overwhelmed and didn't know how to deal with it. It felt like they only saw me as a bank account, not a family member. I didn't want to be responsible for their financial issues, especially since they were never there for me growing up. They only showed up at family gatherings to keep up appearances but never really cared about me. > Managing the business has been tough. I'm young and inexperienced, but I'm determined to honor my grandfather's legacy. I've been learning a lot and hired some experienced professionals to help run things. The pressure from my aunts and uncles asking for money just made everything even more stressful. > After a lot of thought, I decided to cut them off. I blocked their numbers and stopped responding to their messages. Now, my parents are furious with me, saying that I'm being selfish and that family comes first. They think I should at least help out my aunts and uncles a little bit. > I don't know what to do with all this money and the business. I want to use the inheritance wisely, make sure the business thrives, and ensure everything lasts. I was thinking about investing, maybe expanding the business, or putting the money towards my education and future. But now, I'm second-guessing myself. Am I being an asshole for cutting off my family like this? Should I be helping them out with the money and business my grandfather left me?
Grandpa knew that your aunts and uncles would destroy the business by using it as a piggy bank until it went broke. Grandpa trusts you to not do that. Honor grandpa and keep the business running. Tell your parents that grandpa gave it to you because you wouldn't loot it of the funds needed to keep it running. You will honor grandpa. If grandpa had wanted to pay off the bills of his kids he would have. If your parents can't be happy for you then you may have to go low contact with them. Tell them that you can't handle the stress of learning to run a business while being badgered nonstop and that includes badgering from them. They need to stop requesting you give away money or you will have to cut contact with them too.
NTA They are leeches, and you are better off without them in your life. Work hard, as your grandfather expected. Put enough of the money aside to live the rest of your life in comfort. Put some of it toward the business when needed. Put some of it toward a philanthropic endeavor. This kind of money can change lives, you have a responsibility to your self and your grandfather's legacy.
Make one will call of grand gestures. Give everyone a "gift" of a fixed small value (something otherwise investable) and tell them to be reasonable and responsible.. Then remind them that had they shown better judgement they could have had those keys to the proverbial kingdom.
Why would your super successful grandfather leave everything directly to you at 19 and not leave the money and business with a professional and give you time to mature? Seems insane to me.
Not wrong at all, there is a reason why he didn't leave anything to them and they are now showing you that reason. Stand your ground, don't give them a dime. If your parents keep pushing then go LC with them as well. You ahve hired professionals to help you out, trust in them and take some business courses while you can to help you understand and deal with things better. Once you are ready then you can take on everything yourself. Just remember that those professionals are your employees, not your bosses. YOU have final say in everything.
Tell your parents that if he had wanted them to have anything, he would have given them something in his will. Tell them if they keep bothering you, that you will have no choice but to block them too.
Honestly you should do what you want. The moment your grandfather's estate passed on to you upon his death, it's yours and yours alone to do what you want with it, and if you wanted to honor your grandfather's legacy by continuing his business enterprise then you should focus on that and use your money for your sake. You will probably thank yourself in the future. Ever asked them why they didn't ask money from your grandfather? Or why they never contacted you or your grandpa until now? Or why your uncle's debts (which he accumulated on his own) or your aunt's college funds (which you don't have any parental obligation to give to your aunt's children) are your business? It might sound selfish but it sounds like they're taking advantage of the fact that you're young and have money to emotionally guilt-trip you to coughing up cash for them.
Not Wrong, just immature and unable to have adult conversations. I think you should help your family, but only once you know your actual income and expenses and your life is more stable. Being able to tell them that you'll try to help them when you're able is key, and you can budget what your family will get. These conversations require strength and maturity where blocking people and blowing up your family is the easy way.
I see two ways of handling this, first is continuing to cut them off, second is offering one time support (idk what liquid funds you have, but my first thought is a thousand or two at most) with the promise that they will never talk to you again. I don't know their personalities, but if they are going to try harassing you beyond the numbers you blocked the latter might work better to get you some peace of mind. As far as what to do with the money, I would only caution you against putting all your eggs in one basket at this point. You are 19, hopefully you have 80 more years ahead of you, and being smart with this money will let you feel the benefits for a long time. If you don't already have one, I would recommend hiring either a fiduciary to help manage both an education fund and start a retirement fund, or a tax guy to help you minimize your tax burden and figure out a short term (3-5 year) financial plan. /r/personalfinance has a good flowchart on where to put money first (and an even better wiki with loads of info, but that is much more reading than you might want to do). Make sure you have your basics covered, but then the only place you should really be second guessing yourself is if it feels like you are overly committing to one path.
If you do decide to give anyone money, ask for the bill and pay it directly. Don't give anyone cash. Maybe set up small trust funds for cousins for college if you have enough, but you don't have to.
NTA Sending hugs and healing thoughts. Now - do you have a lawyer? Your grandfather's business should have had a lawyer on retainer - or he had an executor. Set up a meeting with the lawyer. You should take some college level business courses (not online YouTube/Udemy type courses). You will need the business information to make certain that you are not being taken advantage of by these 'experienced professionals' you hired. It is so easy to just let them do the work - but that makes it easy for them to screw you over. If your grandfather wanted them to have the money - he would have left them the money. He wanted YOU to have this future because YOU were close to him. He knew that the rest of the family were just leeches who were more interested in money than in him. Take care of yourself! I hope your parents aren't pressuring you for money too. Your job should be to learn as much as much as you can - you are only 19!! This is the start of a wonderful life!!
NTA.
There’s a reason why they are asking you and didn’t ask grandpa before he died. They know you are you g and want to manipulate you. Block block amd block your parents if you have to. If gramps had wanted them to have some, he’d have left them some.
Ever read the book If You Give A Mouse A Cookie? If you give these parasites anything, they'll never stop trying to suck you dry. Your parents are mad because they're the ones getting harassed now instead of you. That's all. Cut off all these people and get yourself into some quality therapy to help you navigate these new challenges. And remember: you didn't ask to exist and you don't owe any member of your family a single fucking thing.
there is a reason that your grandpa left you the money and his business, and not them. stick to your guns and don't let family mettle with what you and only you inherited.
Get a good financial planner and then block your parents.
You are not wrong. The most important thing is to honor the wishes of your grandpa and set your future up. After all of that, if you still want to help your cousins/aunts/uncles, that is up for you to decide, no one else. My advice is do what you are doing, set up the business for it to continue working well, invest in yourself and once you have a handle on that and have a clear understand of your financial position and outlook you can decide if you want to help out family members or not. I would stress careful on who you label as family, people that you haven´t had a relationship with for years and only started talking to you now because they want something from you are NOT family. If your grandpa wanted them to have a portion of the business/inheritance he would have added them to the will.
Cut them off. Get a GREAT Financial advisor. Maybe take some business classes. But a home. Get a pet. Then live your own life😁😁😁
Not wrong. Do not help them out. Your grandfather could have helped them out himself. He did what he did for a reason. If you want to go against your grandfather's wishes, then you are dishonoring him. HIS father was left out of his wishes for a reason. They only want something from you, they don't want to be "family" with you. Know them for what your grandfather knew them. Your parents aren't much better than your other family as there is a reason your father/mother didn't get the business, you did.
Would definitely hire a lawyer to help in dealing with "family". you are not obligated to help, like you said they crawled out from bum fuck middle of nowhere with the audacity to ask for money, while being fucking ninjas for majority of your life.
NTA if your grandfather wanted to leave anyone else money, he would have. Whether it's inheritance or winning the lotto, you will always get leeches coming out of the woods to take what they can get from you. You are smart and mature enough to know they are only talking to you to get money. Once you give them some money, more people will come crawling. They will try to manipulate and bully you because you are young. Stand your ground, even if it's against your parents' wishes. Do what's best for you.
People who come into large amounts of money be warned ⚠️ Most people who win or inherit a fortune are met with exactly what you are experiencing, OP. Those that follow the advice that your parents are giving you end up penniless and sometimes more in debt than where they started. Stop 🛑 They are not to pass Go. They are not to collect $200. You have a good sense of what you should be doing and your ambitions are exactly as they should be. Live within your means, get an education so you can effectively carry on the family business, hire professionals in the meantime to help and mentor you, and, most importantly, don't put all your eggs in one basket. You shouldn't technically have to block people as the vulture should eventually weed themselves out with enough "no" but you're NTA for just cutting the drama out preemptively
Just remember, they all acted this way to your grandfather too. You didn't treat him that way, and thats why he gave it to you. Never give them a single dime, because vultures never stop coming back for more.
I’ll take things that never happened for $500….are we really meant to believe that an astute business man who amassed enough to leave his grandson millions was not astute enough to set up the support he needed to run the business and manage his wealth?
You're not the asshole for prioritizing your own well-being and honoring your late grandfather's wishes. Inheritances can bring complicated dynamics, especially when it comes to money. It's important to focus on what's best for you and the legacy your grandfather entrusted to you. Seeking advice from trusted advisors and making decisions that align with your values and goals is crucial. Take your time to navigate this new responsibility wisely.
Don't do it. Your family will still treat you like shit. I myself had one sizeable lawsuit and kept a little bit and gave the rest to my parents so that they could pay off their debts and avoid a third bankruptcy They still ended up treating me like shit and I haven't spoken to them in years Once these people in your family get what they want from you, they will leave again. So don't give them a damn thing. You'll have the same relationship with them either way. If your grandfather wanted them to have the money he would have left them the money, not you. Never give in to the leeches. Good luck with your business brother. It already sounds like you're making conscientious and intelligent decisions. Stick with that.
If your grandfather wanted to give the money to them he would’ve done it. The least your family could’ve done is wait a few months before hounding you and making their intentions so obvious. You are honoring your grandfather by taking his legacy seriously and dedicating your time and money to keeping his business running! That’s extremely mature for anyone let alone a teenager. He was right to trust you and I’m sure saw all of these qualities in you while he was alive. I am sorry for your loss, of your grandpa and for your family that you had to cut off. It sucks to know people only care about you for what you have, especially when they’re blood relatives. That must have been a hard decision to make. Your parents are more concerned with appearances it seems, so don’t worry about them, when they see how driven you are and the success you find, I’m sure they’ll be much more understanding. I’m sure your grandpa would be proud.
There's a reason why your grandfather didn't give them the money both before or after his death. They probably didn't have anything to do with him while he was alive and only want to hit you up now because he wouldn't give them a free ride. I don't know how you should deal with your parents, perhaps tell them that they are more than welcome to give out their money if they choose.
No, but I think I *might* know a solution. For the aunt, set up a fund specifically for the children: they can only be accessed at a certain age and ONLY used for schooling. This would include dorm room, books, tuition, and the like. Food, renting an apartment off-campus, and the other bills will not count. If they decide not to go to higher education, then the conditions are forfeit, and the money is returned to the original owner. As for your uncle, only pay current debts related to housing. Any business ventures, debts from gambling, or such are off-limits. Future debts that he accepts are not applicable, as he will make that decision on his own free will. As for sharing the profits, unless they intend to get into the family business, either by investing or working, the money would be taken away from the people who actually put their livelihoods into the company. Family does come first, but the fact they think inheriting a company and money simply means you can siphon it away from other families is hypocritical. Your employees work hard, as well as you.
Your grandfather sounds like a smart guy. If he had wanted anyone besides you to get anything, he would have made provisions. I'm guessing he knew you were strong enough to handle the parasites who discovered a new food source. It's very likely that they tried to hit up your grandfather during his lifetime. Your parents may express an opinion, but there's no reason for you to put up with them constantly harping at you. Congratulations on having earned the trust of your grandfather. He wouldn't have made you his sole heir unless he thought you were up to it. NTA.
You just inherited 8 figures and a business from your grandfather, and you’re not gonna help your grandfather’s own children? My friend, you need to be able to sleep at night. I would get a lawyer to draft a letter to each of grandpa’s kids (your parent and your aunts/uncles) saying that you’re gonna give them each $X dollars, but a stipulation of them accepting that money is that they agree to never ask you for money again. If they ask for more money in the future, they will have to pay back the amount that you’ve given them already. Personally, depending on how many children your grandpa had, I would give each of them $500k to $1mil. Considering that the business is so successful, you’ll be able to easily live off the money the business brings in, and put the rest of your money into an account that will gain interest so you can retire early. So to answer your question, yes, I think you’re wrong. You’re very young and you’re being very greedy for no reason. Just imagine if your parents died and they gave all their money to your sibling’s teenage kid and ignored everyone else. Life isn’t just about money, it’s also about being part of a community and helping those around you. I can’t even imagine having that kind of a financial windfall and not immediately offering to pay for my cousins college And I haven’t seen some of them in like a decade.
Ya that would be a dick move. You could at least help all the kids in the family with some college funds. Even 10k for each family member might be a huge help and you wouldn't even miss it, unless there's 100s of family members. You say they weren't there for you, but did you ever call them or reach out to them? Don't be greedy, it's not good for your mental health. Have a lawyer deal with it, it won't be that stressfull, just refer everyone to a lawyer with a stipulation that if they complain they get less money.
Why? Grandfather would have left aunts and uncles money if he’d wanted to do so.
How do I know why his grandfather did what he did, I've never met him. Maybe he was an asshole. Karma is Karma though