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We don’t be bitchin’ about people behind their back. We tell them to their face that their haircut’s shit, make fun of them for a bit and then move on with life.
The real key there is we recognize our friends are ridiculing us out of love not malice. They think the haircut is weird and want us to know for our own good.
One time I got a bad hair cut and when I went to hang out with a friend they immediately went "so, the hair". I responded "Yeah I know, let's go watch the movie."
We didn't need a whole conversation. We understood each other and went on with our activity. Didn't get brought back up and we had fun.
Honestly i think its the chillness of the whole thing. I have friends that i wont talk to for like 3 months and when they're back in town we go out for drinks and act like we saw each other yesterday. I think some other relationships are quite reliant on people constantly being in contact, where as guys dont give a fuck
Idk I see it in men more. Maybe the real factor here is men change slower than women do?
Also I know some women who definitely get mad when they meet a friend after not speaking for 3 months and yell at them for not calling. Like bitch phones work both ways.
Very true actually. I hear people talk about being with their friends all the time and it sounds...exhausting! Sometimes you just wanna be in your own space yk? glad to know others feel the same
I've seen this described as "the gift of not doing shit."
Male friends have essentially no expectations of you, while simultaneously being there for you if you need them. You don't *need* to be emotional support, or a life coach, or activity coordinator, or coordinate outfits, or have mandatory sharing of deep emotions, or anything like that. But when the chips are down, your friends will be there for you.
It makes the whole thing very low-stress and low-maintenance.
Tbh I think it is necessary to have some space! I mean I had some occasions where I had to spend an extended time with a friend and started getting annoyed by some of his habits lol. I need some space to build up tolerance for BS!
Nowt special about this volcano mate. You walked up here for nothing. It's just lava, same lava you get all over these parts. Could have gone down the old lava hole in hobbiton and chucked it in there. Job done.
I’ve found you really have to spice it up after a while to keep them interested. Wear something fun, dedicate one night every so often to “just the boys” where you and he can giggle at each others’ jokes without being judged. A slight caress to the inner thigh can get my friends going if we need a little spark. Hope that helps 😘
friend does something cool
me:well damn! that was impressive
other friend: can i give it a try?
friend: go for it!
3 hours later of accidentally egging each other on to do more outlandish shit
news reporter: we come to you live in the middle of the largest slow speed chase in the east coast, currently in progress
me and my 2 friends: ya know, i really expected them to pit maneuver us by this point
Shared experience, and it seems particularly difficult ones (like war or other trauma) will bond men for life. They become a group of survivors that have shared something no one else can appreciate. Don't need to talk about it endlessly - it's just enough to know it of each other. I'm sure there are less dramatic examples than war (championship winning teams?), but the feeling is the same - "together we got thru something none of us could have managed alone".
> I'm sure there are less dramatic examples than war
Shoot, successfully launching a boat with just two guys who don't know what they're doing is a bonding experience.
Women have a tendency to be malignant with eachother behind their back, men talk about their concerns fast and face to face. This is a generalisation, but most of the time this is the case.
Taking the piss and if you dont see each other for a few years nothing has changed, just life getting in the way. Us men in general seem to be far more chill in those respects than most women.
Not screwing your friend's, wife, girlfriend, sister-in-law, sister-in-law's best friend when you were setup on a date with the sister-in-law, sister or mother. That will ensure a long and healthy friendship.
Brotherhood.
It doesn't matter what makes you different. You have an interest you share and you're positively attempting to progress forward together.
Seeing that growth and using it to fuel futures in your own ways is amazing.
Knowing that no matter how much time passes and you are picking up where you left off.
There are no ill intentions, just there to enjoy that time together because it's sacred and rarer as you grow older.
Zero Drama.
If you do something I don't like, I'll tell you and expect you to do the same.
We'll talk, fix it, and continue drinking beer together.
Everyone just minds their own business.
Being a man is very easy
The camaraderie of a good time; someone you can have a laugh with and respect differences enough to not be annoyed by or at them.
If another person royally pisses you off or stands for everything you don't like, you don't ***need*** to see or be around them - there's just no need to socialise and force non-meaningful relationships outside of work or family.
If I ever call you and say that, your response will be followed by something like, "yeah, you're playing that game and you just got got by dude welding a knife in the most embarrassing display of FPS gaming I've seen this year...
No, I wasn't the dude with the knife. See the red dot on your wall wiggling coming through your window? It's been three years since I've been home or anyone has head from me and I've changed occupations. Sorry, dude. You're the job. Just wanted to let you know first cause we're bros. ..
Just fucking with you dude! I'm back home for the weekend. Let's grab a brew and make knife dude cry.
Also, you should probably let me in quickly because I'm using this laser pointer from the bushes and I didn't bother to remove it from my airsoft gun. And two joggers keep looking at me and gesturing while one is on the phone. They're definitely calling the cops and I don't want to play the final scene of Falling Down. Even if the line "if it were real, I would have won" is baller.
The other version of "...so, what are you doing?" seems less intentional and never takes the hint, "I'm in the middle of something.... That's why you still hear me banging on stuff with a hammer."
Dependability and honesty. Your bros need your help, you help them. If they don't return the favor they're not friends. Treat your guy friends like brothers, so long as they deserve it and treat you in return.
Also, they're honest with you. Honesty should be valued above all else.
Honestly don’t even know
What makes any friendship last a long time?
I find I immediately begin to drift as soon as I’m not forced to see someone be it leaving school, uni or work so while I technically have ‘friends’ for a long time I never speak with them and I’m not sure I’d go see them now either
Being able to say whatever to eachother without popping a vein. All friendships I lost were because of that. Real friends can be brutally honest to eachother. Simple and very common example; your mate gets a new gf and says ‘warn me if I am making the same mistake as with the ex’. The true friends I have took that as a serious thing while the ones I don’t see anymore got angry when, yes, they did really get together with a copy of the ex…
The real answer is simplicity in life pleases us.
Beer, sports, video games… We can sit and watch a sports game with some beer and have a blast and women don’t seem to be able to handle that level of simplicity. It’s when it comes to women when shit gets complicated for us.
Being opposed to one another always having that one person you can rip the shit out of, knock down constantly having that someone of a different opinion and argue with you without it becoming too sensitive.....pushing each other effectively but always knowing where the line stands (though everyone who overheard us is horrified)
And despite of that then having your back when you need them a Lad who will stand with you
Once you got a bond with a male it’s a bond for life. That bond is never forgotten and requires little to no maintenance unless malicious behaviour/a trust break occurs, it never comes into question unless there is reason for it
My closest friends are the ones i argue and complain to the most. One of my housemates (who is one of my best friends) I debate with about some new topic every second day. I think being able to have differing opinions on things is a good thing, as it allows both parties to grow and see a different perspective.
Probably some evolutionary adaptations that were needed to develop comradeship and trust in order to work together and be more efficient hunters/fend off threats
Showing up when the times are good or bad. Remembering dates, like birthdays or anniversaries. Random contact in between seeing them. Being good to each other
We just don’t care I guess. We say it, mean it, and move on.
If we REALLY don’t like the person though it may end in a fight. The ironic part is this might actually be the reason they become friends
Sense of humour and honesty. My friends are my rocks and there's nothing like laughing until you cry and knowing that person will also always tell you if you are being a dick/smell/need to make a change.
We tell each other as it is and laugh about it. No hidden agenda's and we accept our mates for who they are.
Someone once said to me "Men accept each other and women for who they are, whereas women see others as 'a work in progress'".
Not sure if this is a rule of thumb but having been married twice to women who wanted to change me into someone else it sure rang bells.
Find an activity or shared interest, ie we play dnd every second Sunday, with a few exceptions over the last 10 years, this also means regularly chatting and shooting the shit with no expectation in between sessions.
I don't know man as a 29 year old man I don't really bond over sticks anymore. Also the whole we don't really talk shit is dumb as hell. Male friendships being so shallow is why dudes end up being dating some girl just to feel emotional intimacy and then get burned.
Hug your bros, don't let them get with some bitch because they feel lonely.
you mean to tell me that if someone walked up and showed you a stick that is broken just perfectly to be the right length of a sword, you wouldnt swing it around at least once? or a short stick that fits just perfectly in your hand, you arent going to jokingly "cast" a spell or 2? according to this, we are the same age, and i wouldnt even hesitate, and i have this guy who stops in at my job from time to time, literally just to show me some cool sticks he found while walking the town
Or sticks which have branch at the right angle for a pistol grip! Those who can say in all honesty they wouldn't do some stormtrooper pew pew sounds, are people I don't want to associate myself with by any length or measure. Pls keep your unfun distance from my fun.
And I'm 41.
Because you could literally call a mate up that you haven't spoken to for over a year and go out for a few pints and it'll be like you saw each other 1 week ago.
For me I never ask anyone for anything and generally they never ask me. Because of this there is no reason to ever formally end our friendship. Simultaneously though I’m now at a point in my life where recently my mom died and I suddenly have a lot of time on my hands, whereas a month ago I felt like I couldn’t agree to meet with anyone cause I might have to leave at a moments notice and felt like I didn’t have enough time on my own to begin with. Now I feel strangely purposeless. Whereas before I felt good to go far away for a couple hours, now I feel sort of confused about why i went anywhere or why I wanted to go anywhere.
Friendship is good- my friendships generally haven’t lasted, but the few that have seem to work ok. But again I don’t really reach out and generally they don’t either. Sometimes I think about doing it. But then I think I might get a call during it and want to run off to work- and that that’s not fair to them. That’s why friends of convenience make a lot of sense. If you have a friend in the neighborhood, then if you suddenly have to leave it’s ok, cause they didn’t travel far out of their way to see you anyway. Etc. or work friends. People who you see at work. Conversely a friendship which makes it difficult to work can be hard for me, especially cause I often feel like I don’t work enough and I want more $.
At the same time that’s sad cause serendipitous friendships often feel more genuine and based on a more honest footing. Or just people you’ve known for a long time. Life’s tough. The thing about my relationship with friends is that the people close to me know the most about me, which has led to a situation where some of the most negative experiences I’ve had with people have been with people I used to be close to, because they knew the information. I partially blame myself for that like you should try to conpartmentslize your life a little like separate your love life and your work so if your spouse gets mad at you they can’t sabotage your job or something. Which is actually probably in both of your best interest. Cause generally spouses go on to regret those decisions they just do things in the heat of the moment. As a man sometimes it’s our responsibility to see the bigger picture and let those things go. But even more so it’s a man’s job to prevent the other family member from blowing everything up in a moment of passion. And if you don’t prevent that, then there might not be anything left to salvage. This is the situation. Also when someone hates your guts sometimes they truly do want you to suffer, even if they only feel that way for a little while, the results can be bad. It’s good to avoid those types of people but I’ve been bad at picking people sometimes. As far as friends go I ended more of them than I should’ve probably. A lot of friendships needed more maintenance than I wanted to give. And at times I felt overwhelmed and neglected relationships. Even now as I say this I miss certain people but if they were here now how long would it be before i wanted to be alone again idk. I think goals in life are changing and hard to pinpoint at times. And because of that friendships fall in and out of favor. On paper I have no issue having a friend. But I also feel sort of like I’ve squandered a lot of my time and want to be more intentioned these days. Thing is I still waste a lot of time, but I think I benefit from prioritizing myself more still. But yes it’s a trade off too. I think friends was a focus before and now my focus is shifting more toward family. But also i have some mistrust of my family too. People don’t always do what you want them to, so now i think maybe i should try to compartmentalize that too. But time becomes more scarce when you try to separate things and life feels lonelier when you don’t tell as many people what’s going on.
I think our interests diverged. I have nothing against them and wish them the best. That’s why we’re still friends. But we don’t interact much. That’s probably partially why they last as long as they do, cause there’s so few chances for things to go wrong. For example I recent met with 2 old friends. Both are doing well. We both chilled like we never stopped. But idk if or when I’ll see them again. I think that’s ok though. I think also I’m in a weird mental place right now where I’m like recalibrating to reexamine what I want out of life, and right now I don’t know if I want to spend the day with them. But there’ll be days where I do I think. It’s just not right at this minute. I think I want a more low pressure friendship but I think maybe those days were in my youth. Not sure
Grew up in a small town. Became best friends with a handful of guys and went to college together. When you grow up with someone for 20+ years it's hard not to like them. It's also hard not to see them around town constantly, so it's best to play nice.
But more importantly, you make those bonds when you're young and understand everything in that guys background as much as they understand yours. And that builds a lot of trust over the years.
I think loyalty is the most important factor in maintaining a friendship. I’ve had old friends who I’ve stopped talking to because they hang out with people who have hurt me… hell, I’ve even had friends go out with my ex partner and how can I stay friends with that? So, I think a lot of it has to do with friendship etiquette and loyalty.
Honesty, and its co-requisite of being able to take gentle constructive criticism.
I was talking to one of my best friends a while ago, and noticed that when I paused to search for the right word, he would wait without trying to butt in.
And that kind of default respect is rare enough that it gets noticed. So now I try to be that kind of person, too. He's also one of the most honest people I've ever met.
We aren’t as judgmental. When you get guys together if there is an issue it’s either worked out with words or fists. But women (not all just generalizing) tear each other down. A lot are carrying water for the patriarchy.
I can only comment on my own experience.
But for me, it's probably that we just stick to common interests we have. We don't have deep and meaningfuls, gossip, manipulate, or talk about drama ever.
They're very simple relationships. They like stuff that I like. So we do the stuff that we like. End of story - we don't even really talk about anything else. Why would we? We stick to shared interests.
Compared to my Mrs, who knows all of the goings-on in her close friends lives, and they talk about dramas and problems, etc. That's just a lot more to keep tabs on, alot more expectation and a lot more potential friction points.
I can barely keep tabs on that shit in my own life - screw trying to keep that info in my head for others as well 😆.
Women expect you to age with them. That's why women call their partner's hobbies/needs/interests "childish" so often. If my best friend wants to play Legos and subsist on M&M's when he is 90 that will affect our relationship none. Women can't do that. Women will see their paths diverge and sabotage their relationship. People mature and age differently.
Depends. Typically it’s shared experiences, especially difficult ones that tend to create the stronger bond. ie.. military, sports teams etc. I think it’s derived from the fact that you get to truly know someone’s true self when they’re under duress and facades don’t have a place. It’s not exclusive to men though, I have female friends that I feel the same bond for the same reasons
It is mainly based on how we communicate. If you haircut looks crap, then we'll tell you straight up and maybe say it again a few times before it starts getting old. We don't talk shit behind their backs, because if so, that is a bad friendship.
Also just how chill it can be when chatting with your mates
No expectations. Honestly, if we don't talk for 6 months, I just assume he's busy. There is no bar that my friends have to meet to still be considered a "friend."
We also don't compete to be the "best friend." I've never heard a man start off a thought to another man like, "Well, a real friend would do X, Y and Z."
My friends make me laugh and help me when I ask.
I think men expect less from their male counterparts. This isn’t necessarily a good thing, but male relationships are also built almost entirely on ***shared interests and activities***. This also doesn’t help men out when it comes to ***dating***. Compared to women, men have far less experience communicating ***openly*** about their feeling, expectations and needs. Since women communicate more openly in their friendships they are more likely to establish expectations and needs, and when those aren’t met, there isn’t a need for that friendship.
This is all obviously a large umbrella statement/observation so not every friendship male or female is like this. But many studies have looked at this! ☺️
I don’t know, I guess from my own experience and observations, our friendships are genuine. If we don’t like someone, we simply don’t talk to them and don’t force a friendship. If we have a problem, it’s known and resolved one way or another. There usually isn’t passive aggression or ‘behind the back’ games happening.
Honesty, respect of what is said/done and boundaries.
I don't need friends to yes man me, or tell me I'm cool, or handsome, I need them to respect the fact that I'll probably do something dumb and take the p*ss when it happens.
Plus simplicity,
"you ok man?"
"Honestly not really"
"Wanna talk?"
"Not right now, but thanks for asking"
"No problem man, let me know when"
Male friendships often last long because of a few key factors:
1. **Shared Activities:** Many male friendships are built around shared activities and interests, such as sports, gaming, or hobbies. These activities provide regular opportunities for bonding and create a strong foundation for the friendship.
2. **Loyalty:** Loyalty and reliability are often highly valued in male friendships. Knowing that a friend has your back and can be counted on in tough times helps build a lasting bond.
3. **Low Maintenance:** Male friendships can often be low maintenance, meaning that friends might not need to be in constant contact to maintain a strong connection. This flexibility can make it easier to sustain friendships over time, even when life gets busy.
4. **Mutual Respect:** Respecting each other’s boundaries, opinions, and choices is crucial. This respect helps prevent conflicts and ensures that both parties feel valued and understood.
5. **Humor:** Humor and shared jokes can play a big role in male friendships. Laughing together helps strengthen bonds and makes the friendship enjoyable.
6. **Direct Communication:** Men may often communicate more directly and openly with each other, which can help in resolving conflicts quickly and preventing misunderstandings.
7. **Supportive Environment:** Providing emotional and practical support during challenging times strengthens the friendship. While men might not always express emotions as openly, being there for each other when it counts makes a big difference.
8. **Shared Experiences:** Going through significant life events together, such as school, work, or major personal milestones, can deepen the bond and create lasting memories that reinforce the friendship.
Every friendship is unique, but these elements often contribute to the longevity of male friendships.
Mutual interest, mutual respect(whether that’s boundaries or not hitting on their sibling) and being bluntly honest.
“Wanna get food and go play games at your place, sure, burgers, sure.”
Really doesn’t change much with age, just add beer. 👍
My ‘brothers’ have the same core values we had as kids, as far as how we treat people, each other and see the world in general, which is actually pretty cool because we all moved to different areas and were raised with very different families/social classes. They’ve been my best friends for 30 years now, we’re in our early 40’s and we still laugh at the *exact same shit* we did when we were 11.
They don't involve women. Women are great.... BUT, women expect me to read their minds and women expect men to change for them and women accuse men of things they never did.
A guy accepts you as you are.
we are simple creatures that don't bitch and winge behind each others backs, we dont like each other? we punch on then make up and become best buddies. we don't have bitter feuds that last 20+ years of back stabbing snarky gossipy shit.
I'm my experience most men do not care about minor social infractions and disputes. I have friends that I've known 25 years and don't get a birthday card etc. We would just go for a pint. Women seem to be much more sensitive and read into social mis haps that lead to bickering.
Generally men don’t fret over details like some friend sharing some info with one other person and not telling him the same info when they’re supposed to be bff or something. Lol
No small drama, honesty. Girls tend to lie to each other quite often with the noble excuse of making each other feel better but the end result is they can't trust each other. Sometimes I feel like we're going somewhere nice just to make her friends jealous and I honestly don't get it. Why care about things like that?
I refer you to a family guy skit :
Girls :
"Oh I just love how you can just throw on any old thing and call it an outfit, so courageous !"
"And I love how you can just eat anything without being bothered about it going in your thighs, you go girl!"
Guys :
"I like your tie."
"Oh thanks"
🎵*Guys ! We know how to be friends!*🎶
We don’t think everything little thing is some sort of game of thrones style drama with hidden negative motives behind them. We are straightforward and transparent. Everything means exactly what we say.
We tend to be more straightforward with each other than women, on average, and less socially competitive. I don't know how much of that is socialized and how much is the way we're wired, but it makes for relationships with fewer conflicts.
Hobbies. Most girls don't have one. Guys get autistic together and bond over shared obsession for cars, football, boxing, gym, miniature wargames, mountain bikes, video games, anime and so on.
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We don’t be bitchin’ about people behind their back. We tell them to their face that their haircut’s shit, make fun of them for a bit and then move on with life.
The real key there is we recognize our friends are ridiculing us out of love not malice. They think the haircut is weird and want us to know for our own good.
One time I got a bad hair cut and when I went to hang out with a friend they immediately went "so, the hair". I responded "Yeah I know, let's go watch the movie." We didn't need a whole conversation. We understood each other and went on with our activity. Didn't get brought back up and we had fun.
Until you watch the movie and see a new person with stupid hair and shout,”Look at that! James, that’s you ain’t it!
Similar to: "the shirt..." "yup, lost a bet."
And then bring it up again 10 years later and laugh all over again.
Lemar was a true friend to Franklin letting him know about his yee yee ass haircut
Read this in Morgan freeman’s voice. You’re doing gods work, as a thank you I hit the up arrow.
I agree but I’ve seen some cool guys leave the ole friendship group when it got a little too rough over time - even though we thought it was playful
Your friends probably do talk shit about you behind your back. Gossip is a normal thing according to studies.
Honestly i think its the chillness of the whole thing. I have friends that i wont talk to for like 3 months and when they're back in town we go out for drinks and act like we saw each other yesterday. I think some other relationships are quite reliant on people constantly being in contact, where as guys dont give a fuck
That's not exclusive to guys, I think that's just the sign of a solid relationship.
Idk I see it in men more. Maybe the real factor here is men change slower than women do? Also I know some women who definitely get mad when they meet a friend after not speaking for 3 months and yell at them for not calling. Like bitch phones work both ways.
Very true actually. I hear people talk about being with their friends all the time and it sounds...exhausting! Sometimes you just wanna be in your own space yk? glad to know others feel the same
Idonno. It may be exclusive . Hard to say officially
I've seen this described as "the gift of not doing shit." Male friends have essentially no expectations of you, while simultaneously being there for you if you need them. You don't *need* to be emotional support, or a life coach, or activity coordinator, or coordinate outfits, or have mandatory sharing of deep emotions, or anything like that. But when the chips are down, your friends will be there for you. It makes the whole thing very low-stress and low-maintenance.
I met some ex-colleagues from the armed forces last weekend. Haven't spoken to some of them in ten years. Was like we never parted ways.
Tbh I think it is necessary to have some space! I mean I had some occasions where I had to spend an extended time with a friend and started getting annoyed by some of his habits lol. I need some space to build up tolerance for BS!
Thissss
Throwing a cursed ring into volcano together.
Nowt special about this volcano mate. You walked up here for nothing. It's just lava, same lava you get all over these parts. Could have gone down the old lava hole in hobbiton and chucked it in there. Job done.
Jumping into the volcano together
The virgin suicide pact.
🤣
Peeing together *
A single text every year to arrange a meet up and never speak in-between
I have a friend in my hometown like that. I left in 2010 and visit maybe once or twice a year, because my family are all still there.
If they like sticks too, we're good.
Sword or Guns
Swords
[Por que no los dos?](https://c.tenor.com/EKu-P3ELIeEAAAAC/tenor.gif)
Sup?
I’ve found you really have to spice it up after a while to keep them interested. Wear something fun, dedicate one night every so often to “just the boys” where you and he can giggle at each others’ jokes without being judged. A slight caress to the inner thigh can get my friends going if we need a little spark. Hope that helps 😘
We’re all as fucking stupid as one another 😂
*Hold my beer and watch this...*
friend does something cool me:well damn! that was impressive other friend: can i give it a try? friend: go for it! 3 hours later of accidentally egging each other on to do more outlandish shit news reporter: we come to you live in the middle of the largest slow speed chase in the east coast, currently in progress me and my 2 friends: ya know, i really expected them to pit maneuver us by this point
That most of the relationship is low maintenance. We don’t need to hear from each other everyday to be friends.
common interests and mutual respect
Shared experience, and it seems particularly difficult ones (like war or other trauma) will bond men for life. They become a group of survivors that have shared something no one else can appreciate. Don't need to talk about it endlessly - it's just enough to know it of each other. I'm sure there are less dramatic examples than war (championship winning teams?), but the feeling is the same - "together we got thru something none of us could have managed alone".
This. Did some sailing crosses with friends and we had some bad weather experiences. We don't talk about it much but has created a bond for life.
> I'm sure there are less dramatic examples than war Shoot, successfully launching a boat with just two guys who don't know what they're doing is a bonding experience.
Verbal crualties that contain some measure of truth.
If someone disappears for along time and shows up again: no big deal. Wanna have a beer?
Women have a tendency to be malignant with eachother behind their back, men talk about their concerns fast and face to face. This is a generalisation, but most of the time this is the case.
Taking the piss and if you dont see each other for a few years nothing has changed, just life getting in the way. Us men in general seem to be far more chill in those respects than most women.
No stupid mind games
Not screwing your friend's, wife, girlfriend, sister-in-law, sister-in-law's best friend when you were setup on a date with the sister-in-law, sister or mother. That will ensure a long and healthy friendship.
Interests and personality I’d say, and for us as men we usually are very clear with one another.
Alcohol
Brotherhood. It doesn't matter what makes you different. You have an interest you share and you're positively attempting to progress forward together. Seeing that growth and using it to fuel futures in your own ways is amazing. Knowing that no matter how much time passes and you are picking up where you left off. There are no ill intentions, just there to enjoy that time together because it's sacred and rarer as you grow older.
They're low maintenance and surface level.
We all made a pledge. Not to fuck each other's bitches. Or touch each other's riches. On top or broke. Never break this oath. -Shyne Po
Going through hardship together
Buying your round without prompt or complaint.
beer
For me its banter
Same thing it does for women. Trust and actually caring about each other. Also of course common interests and mentality but that's obvious.
Zero Drama. If you do something I don't like, I'll tell you and expect you to do the same. We'll talk, fix it, and continue drinking beer together. Everyone just minds their own business. Being a man is very easy
Effort. There’s no trick. It’s not magic. It’s effort.
That’s not my experience at all. Takes some time to form the friendships but after that there isn’t much to it.
We just respect eachother.
Usually friendships end when relationships begin.
Just a constant avalanche of dick and fart jokes.
Honesty, simplicity and our shared interests we're passionate about.
The camaraderie of a good time; someone you can have a laugh with and respect differences enough to not be annoyed by or at them. If another person royally pisses you off or stands for everything you don't like, you don't ***need*** to see or be around them - there's just no need to socialise and force non-meaningful relationships outside of work or family.
Never once answered a phone and heard "...so, what are you doing?"
If I ever call you and say that, your response will be followed by something like, "yeah, you're playing that game and you just got got by dude welding a knife in the most embarrassing display of FPS gaming I've seen this year... No, I wasn't the dude with the knife. See the red dot on your wall wiggling coming through your window? It's been three years since I've been home or anyone has head from me and I've changed occupations. Sorry, dude. You're the job. Just wanted to let you know first cause we're bros. .. Just fucking with you dude! I'm back home for the weekend. Let's grab a brew and make knife dude cry. Also, you should probably let me in quickly because I'm using this laser pointer from the bushes and I didn't bother to remove it from my airsoft gun. And two joggers keep looking at me and gesturing while one is on the phone. They're definitely calling the cops and I don't want to play the final scene of Falling Down. Even if the line "if it were real, I would have won" is baller. The other version of "...so, what are you doing?" seems less intentional and never takes the hint, "I'm in the middle of something.... That's why you still hear me banging on stuff with a hammer."
We don't hide anything from each other, that's all
Dependability and honesty. Your bros need your help, you help them. If they don't return the favor they're not friends. Treat your guy friends like brothers, so long as they deserve it and treat you in return. Also, they're honest with you. Honesty should be valued above all else.
honesty, kindness, laughter, love,
Honestly don’t even know What makes any friendship last a long time? I find I immediately begin to drift as soon as I’m not forced to see someone be it leaving school, uni or work so while I technically have ‘friends’ for a long time I never speak with them and I’m not sure I’d go see them now either
Being able to say whatever to eachother without popping a vein. All friendships I lost were because of that. Real friends can be brutally honest to eachother. Simple and very common example; your mate gets a new gf and says ‘warn me if I am making the same mistake as with the ex’. The true friends I have took that as a serious thing while the ones I don’t see anymore got angry when, yes, they did really get together with a copy of the ex…
War Works every time.
Spending time together
Having things in common
A mix of genuine connection/the right person + commitment. Romantic/sexual relationships aren't the only ones that take work.
Sex
Simplicity, knowing that the world doesn’t revolve around us and no one cares how we feel
They just let out the steam then and there
WhatsApp groups about the latest Nic Cage film
We don't talk much or judge much.
My best friends and I are ok with having different opinions.
The real answer is simplicity in life pleases us. Beer, sports, video games… We can sit and watch a sports game with some beer and have a blast and women don’t seem to be able to handle that level of simplicity. It’s when it comes to women when shit gets complicated for us.
Being opposed to one another always having that one person you can rip the shit out of, knock down constantly having that someone of a different opinion and argue with you without it becoming too sensitive.....pushing each other effectively but always knowing where the line stands (though everyone who overheard us is horrified) And despite of that then having your back when you need them a Lad who will stand with you
Simple dynamic of friendship. Talk daily to not talking for months, but when you catch up it feels like you talked yesterday
Time
Alcohol consumption
Once you got a bond with a male it’s a bond for life. That bond is never forgotten and requires little to no maintenance unless malicious behaviour/a trust break occurs, it never comes into question unless there is reason for it
Honesty and genuinely wanting the best for your friends without any selfish agenda.
Low expectations and need for friendship
My closest friends are the ones i argue and complain to the most. One of my housemates (who is one of my best friends) I debate with about some new topic every second day. I think being able to have differing opinions on things is a good thing, as it allows both parties to grow and see a different perspective.
Having each other's back when the other is not there. Also, being non-judgemental and accepting the other for what they are.
Actually responding to messages and calls and not cancelling s*** at the last minute
Probably some evolutionary adaptations that were needed to develop comradeship and trust in order to work together and be more efficient hunters/fend off threats
Cursing each other
Good memes.
90% of it is just showing up and having their back
Not trying to fuck the same woman
the chill factor
Showing up when the times are good or bad. Remembering dates, like birthdays or anniversaries. Random contact in between seeing them. Being good to each other
Near death experiences together cause life long bonds.
We just don’t care I guess. We say it, mean it, and move on. If we REALLY don’t like the person though it may end in a fight. The ironic part is this might actually be the reason they become friends
Sense of humour and honesty. My friends are my rocks and there's nothing like laughing until you cry and knowing that person will also always tell you if you are being a dick/smell/need to make a change.
We tell each other as it is and laugh about it. No hidden agenda's and we accept our mates for who they are. Someone once said to me "Men accept each other and women for who they are, whereas women see others as 'a work in progress'". Not sure if this is a rule of thumb but having been married twice to women who wanted to change me into someone else it sure rang bells.
Find an activity or shared interest, ie we play dnd every second Sunday, with a few exceptions over the last 10 years, this also means regularly chatting and shooting the shit with no expectation in between sessions.
Trust me
The ball busting. Just the ball busting. Some friends you know the limits, other friends there are no limits.
Why is almost every single comment in this thread the most cliche, stereotypical meme bullshit about male friendships?
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I don't know man as a 29 year old man I don't really bond over sticks anymore. Also the whole we don't really talk shit is dumb as hell. Male friendships being so shallow is why dudes end up being dating some girl just to feel emotional intimacy and then get burned. Hug your bros, don't let them get with some bitch because they feel lonely.
you mean to tell me that if someone walked up and showed you a stick that is broken just perfectly to be the right length of a sword, you wouldnt swing it around at least once? or a short stick that fits just perfectly in your hand, you arent going to jokingly "cast" a spell or 2? according to this, we are the same age, and i wouldnt even hesitate, and i have this guy who stops in at my job from time to time, literally just to show me some cool sticks he found while walking the town
Or sticks which have branch at the right angle for a pistol grip! Those who can say in all honesty they wouldn't do some stormtrooper pew pew sounds, are people I don't want to associate myself with by any length or measure. Pls keep your unfun distance from my fun. And I'm 41.
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Like?
A lack of ego, and when the ego does come, the humility to put it down and reach out again.
Sending memes daily
Handjobs help ;)
Because you could literally call a mate up that you haven't spoken to for over a year and go out for a few pints and it'll be like you saw each other 1 week ago.
We aren’t petty, and we don’t talk behind each others backs about things
You have to be down for a good time that’s basically it. Don’t add stress to each others lives, be there when they need it. It’s easy
No expectations
For me I never ask anyone for anything and generally they never ask me. Because of this there is no reason to ever formally end our friendship. Simultaneously though I’m now at a point in my life where recently my mom died and I suddenly have a lot of time on my hands, whereas a month ago I felt like I couldn’t agree to meet with anyone cause I might have to leave at a moments notice and felt like I didn’t have enough time on my own to begin with. Now I feel strangely purposeless. Whereas before I felt good to go far away for a couple hours, now I feel sort of confused about why i went anywhere or why I wanted to go anywhere. Friendship is good- my friendships generally haven’t lasted, but the few that have seem to work ok. But again I don’t really reach out and generally they don’t either. Sometimes I think about doing it. But then I think I might get a call during it and want to run off to work- and that that’s not fair to them. That’s why friends of convenience make a lot of sense. If you have a friend in the neighborhood, then if you suddenly have to leave it’s ok, cause they didn’t travel far out of their way to see you anyway. Etc. or work friends. People who you see at work. Conversely a friendship which makes it difficult to work can be hard for me, especially cause I often feel like I don’t work enough and I want more $. At the same time that’s sad cause serendipitous friendships often feel more genuine and based on a more honest footing. Or just people you’ve known for a long time. Life’s tough. The thing about my relationship with friends is that the people close to me know the most about me, which has led to a situation where some of the most negative experiences I’ve had with people have been with people I used to be close to, because they knew the information. I partially blame myself for that like you should try to conpartmentslize your life a little like separate your love life and your work so if your spouse gets mad at you they can’t sabotage your job or something. Which is actually probably in both of your best interest. Cause generally spouses go on to regret those decisions they just do things in the heat of the moment. As a man sometimes it’s our responsibility to see the bigger picture and let those things go. But even more so it’s a man’s job to prevent the other family member from blowing everything up in a moment of passion. And if you don’t prevent that, then there might not be anything left to salvage. This is the situation. Also when someone hates your guts sometimes they truly do want you to suffer, even if they only feel that way for a little while, the results can be bad. It’s good to avoid those types of people but I’ve been bad at picking people sometimes. As far as friends go I ended more of them than I should’ve probably. A lot of friendships needed more maintenance than I wanted to give. And at times I felt overwhelmed and neglected relationships. Even now as I say this I miss certain people but if they were here now how long would it be before i wanted to be alone again idk. I think goals in life are changing and hard to pinpoint at times. And because of that friendships fall in and out of favor. On paper I have no issue having a friend. But I also feel sort of like I’ve squandered a lot of my time and want to be more intentioned these days. Thing is I still waste a lot of time, but I think I benefit from prioritizing myself more still. But yes it’s a trade off too. I think friends was a focus before and now my focus is shifting more toward family. But also i have some mistrust of my family too. People don’t always do what you want them to, so now i think maybe i should try to compartmentalize that too. But time becomes more scarce when you try to separate things and life feels lonelier when you don’t tell as many people what’s going on. I think our interests diverged. I have nothing against them and wish them the best. That’s why we’re still friends. But we don’t interact much. That’s probably partially why they last as long as they do, cause there’s so few chances for things to go wrong. For example I recent met with 2 old friends. Both are doing well. We both chilled like we never stopped. But idk if or when I’ll see them again. I think that’s ok though. I think also I’m in a weird mental place right now where I’m like recalibrating to reexamine what I want out of life, and right now I don’t know if I want to spend the day with them. But there’ll be days where I do I think. It’s just not right at this minute. I think I want a more low pressure friendship but I think maybe those days were in my youth. Not sure
One dap up
Grew up in a small town. Became best friends with a handful of guys and went to college together. When you grow up with someone for 20+ years it's hard not to like them. It's also hard not to see them around town constantly, so it's best to play nice. But more importantly, you make those bonds when you're young and understand everything in that guys background as much as they understand yours. And that builds a lot of trust over the years.
I think loyalty is the most important factor in maintaining a friendship. I’ve had old friends who I’ve stopped talking to because they hang out with people who have hurt me… hell, I’ve even had friends go out with my ex partner and how can I stay friends with that? So, I think a lot of it has to do with friendship etiquette and loyalty.
Beer.
When they have delayed orgasms. Just kidding. Mutual interest in hobbies or entertainment. Similar morals or priorities. A shared goal.
Cum burglers
Honesty, and its co-requisite of being able to take gentle constructive criticism. I was talking to one of my best friends a while ago, and noticed that when I paused to search for the right word, he would wait without trying to butt in. And that kind of default respect is rare enough that it gets noticed. So now I try to be that kind of person, too. He's also one of the most honest people I've ever met.
We aren’t as judgmental. When you get guys together if there is an issue it’s either worked out with words or fists. But women (not all just generalizing) tear each other down. A lot are carrying water for the patriarchy.
Locker room blowjobs, I assume
Movie references
People being chill, supportive and when needed honest
I can only comment on my own experience. But for me, it's probably that we just stick to common interests we have. We don't have deep and meaningfuls, gossip, manipulate, or talk about drama ever. They're very simple relationships. They like stuff that I like. So we do the stuff that we like. End of story - we don't even really talk about anything else. Why would we? We stick to shared interests. Compared to my Mrs, who knows all of the goings-on in her close friends lives, and they talk about dramas and problems, etc. That's just a lot more to keep tabs on, alot more expectation and a lot more potential friction points. I can barely keep tabs on that shit in my own life - screw trying to keep that info in my head for others as well 😆.
Women expect you to age with them. That's why women call their partner's hobbies/needs/interests "childish" so often. If my best friend wants to play Legos and subsist on M&M's when he is 90 that will affect our relationship none. Women can't do that. Women will see their paths diverge and sabotage their relationship. People mature and age differently.
I think def certain level of indifference
Depends. Typically it’s shared experiences, especially difficult ones that tend to create the stronger bond. ie.. military, sports teams etc. I think it’s derived from the fact that you get to truly know someone’s true self when they’re under duress and facades don’t have a place. It’s not exclusive to men though, I have female friends that I feel the same bond for the same reasons
We don't force relationships and take breaks from each other every once in a while but can chat again like nothing happened
It is mainly based on how we communicate. If you haircut looks crap, then we'll tell you straight up and maybe say it again a few times before it starts getting old. We don't talk shit behind their backs, because if so, that is a bad friendship. Also just how chill it can be when chatting with your mates
A secret pact to kill each others wives
Zero maintenance requirement. We can have 3 years of quiet time and then just pick up where we left.
Honesty, humour, reliability, shared experience...
No expectations. Honestly, if we don't talk for 6 months, I just assume he's busy. There is no bar that my friends have to meet to still be considered a "friend." We also don't compete to be the "best friend." I've never heard a man start off a thought to another man like, "Well, a real friend would do X, Y and Z." My friends make me laugh and help me when I ask.
Back to back jerk off sessions
Loyalty.
I think men expect less from their male counterparts. This isn’t necessarily a good thing, but male relationships are also built almost entirely on ***shared interests and activities***. This also doesn’t help men out when it comes to ***dating***. Compared to women, men have far less experience communicating ***openly*** about their feeling, expectations and needs. Since women communicate more openly in their friendships they are more likely to establish expectations and needs, and when those aren’t met, there isn’t a need for that friendship. This is all obviously a large umbrella statement/observation so not every friendship male or female is like this. But many studies have looked at this! ☺️
I don’t know, I guess from my own experience and observations, our friendships are genuine. If we don’t like someone, we simply don’t talk to them and don’t force a friendship. If we have a problem, it’s known and resolved one way or another. There usually isn’t passive aggression or ‘behind the back’ games happening.
Honesty, respect of what is said/done and boundaries. I don't need friends to yes man me, or tell me I'm cool, or handsome, I need them to respect the fact that I'll probably do something dumb and take the p*ss when it happens. Plus simplicity, "you ok man?" "Honestly not really" "Wanna talk?" "Not right now, but thanks for asking" "No problem man, let me know when"
Wait. You guys have friends????
Male friendships often last long because of a few key factors: 1. **Shared Activities:** Many male friendships are built around shared activities and interests, such as sports, gaming, or hobbies. These activities provide regular opportunities for bonding and create a strong foundation for the friendship. 2. **Loyalty:** Loyalty and reliability are often highly valued in male friendships. Knowing that a friend has your back and can be counted on in tough times helps build a lasting bond. 3. **Low Maintenance:** Male friendships can often be low maintenance, meaning that friends might not need to be in constant contact to maintain a strong connection. This flexibility can make it easier to sustain friendships over time, even when life gets busy. 4. **Mutual Respect:** Respecting each other’s boundaries, opinions, and choices is crucial. This respect helps prevent conflicts and ensures that both parties feel valued and understood. 5. **Humor:** Humor and shared jokes can play a big role in male friendships. Laughing together helps strengthen bonds and makes the friendship enjoyable. 6. **Direct Communication:** Men may often communicate more directly and openly with each other, which can help in resolving conflicts quickly and preventing misunderstandings. 7. **Supportive Environment:** Providing emotional and practical support during challenging times strengthens the friendship. While men might not always express emotions as openly, being there for each other when it counts makes a big difference. 8. **Shared Experiences:** Going through significant life events together, such as school, work, or major personal milestones, can deepen the bond and create lasting memories that reinforce the friendship. Every friendship is unique, but these elements often contribute to the longevity of male friendships.
We actually like the person they are
Ball cupping. Also playin legs uh spread, dandy balls and penis butt.
Mutual interest, mutual respect(whether that’s boundaries or not hitting on their sibling) and being bluntly honest. “Wanna get food and go play games at your place, sure, burgers, sure.” Really doesn’t change much with age, just add beer. 👍
My ‘brothers’ have the same core values we had as kids, as far as how we treat people, each other and see the world in general, which is actually pretty cool because we all moved to different areas and were raised with very different families/social classes. They’ve been my best friends for 30 years now, we’re in our early 40’s and we still laugh at the *exact same shit* we did when we were 11.
They don't involve women. Women are great.... BUT, women expect me to read their minds and women expect men to change for them and women accuse men of things they never did. A guy accepts you as you are.
Generally overcoming obstacles which releases vasopressin. It's sort of considered to men what oxytocin is to women
Because guys live happily without thinking and women can't not think. It's why they're smarter
Lack of drama.
Not getting into gossip and drama, and creating cliques within the clique.
we are simple creatures that don't bitch and winge behind each others backs, we dont like each other? we punch on then make up and become best buddies. we don't have bitter feuds that last 20+ years of back stabbing snarky gossipy shit.
Males
I'm my experience most men do not care about minor social infractions and disputes. I have friends that I've known 25 years and don't get a birthday card etc. We would just go for a pint. Women seem to be much more sensitive and read into social mis haps that lead to bickering.
Generally men don’t fret over details like some friend sharing some info with one other person and not telling him the same info when they’re supposed to be bff or something. Lol
No gossiping
No small drama, honesty. Girls tend to lie to each other quite often with the noble excuse of making each other feel better but the end result is they can't trust each other. Sometimes I feel like we're going somewhere nice just to make her friends jealous and I honestly don't get it. Why care about things like that?
I refer you to a family guy skit : Girls : "Oh I just love how you can just throw on any old thing and call it an outfit, so courageous !" "And I love how you can just eat anything without being bothered about it going in your thighs, you go girl!" Guys : "I like your tie." "Oh thanks" 🎵*Guys ! We know how to be friends!*🎶
We don’t think everything little thing is some sort of game of thrones style drama with hidden negative motives behind them. We are straightforward and transparent. Everything means exactly what we say.
We tend to be more straightforward with each other than women, on average, and less socially competitive. I don't know how much of that is socialized and how much is the way we're wired, but it makes for relationships with fewer conflicts.
Jorking the Peanits.
We don't talk about personal stuff.
We don't take offense so easily
A little hide the bologna at an early age
Male friendship is based on real situationship unlike female friendship based on good times and whoeing together
The ability to forgive quickly. Somehow most women aren't capable of that.
Hobbies. Most girls don't have one. Guys get autistic together and bond over shared obsession for cars, football, boxing, gym, miniature wargames, mountain bikes, video games, anime and so on.