T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Please remember that all comments must be helpful, relevant, and respectful. All replies must be a genuine effort to answer the question helpfully; joke answers are not allowed. If you see any comments that violate this rule, please hit report. When your question is answered, we encourage you to flair your post. To do this automatically simply make a comment that says **!answered** (OP only) We encourage everyone to report posts and comments they feel violate a rule, as this will allow us to see it much faster. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/answers) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Grand-Bullfrog3861

I'm just happy to be there, don't want to cause a nuisance


Srry4theGonaria

This would be my answer.


Gumbarino420

Pretty much sums it up. šŸ¤šŸ‘ˆme + heavy breathing. šŸ˜†


Tall-Cell-662

Never understood that. As a woman, Iā€™m turned off by a silent man. Is he not enjoying himself? Is he restraining himself to mimic porn? Is he self conscious and afraid to be vulnerable?


Normal-Pineapple6118

I just couldn't imagine having sex and it's just... silent? The whole time? Noo thank you.


scaryjam823

When I was growing up in a house full of people I just trained myself to never make any noise so I didnā€™t get caught. I couldnā€™t make noises now at 33 even if I wanted to. I imagine a lot of people did the same.


Tall-Cell-662

I think trying not to make noise when there are people around is just decent. But i feel like there are lots of norms when weā€™re younger that are based solely on insecurity like women being hairless at all times, women climaxing from penetration every time, silent men letting go a tiny uh during climax. The joy of getting older is not caring about those norms anymore


ladyofthestars_

Yk i read that last line as "is he conscious " and got real concerned for a hot second. Scrolled past and read. Never scrolled back up so quick


Sansnom01

I got an ex who told me it was weird that I made sounds during sex ĀÆ\_(惄)_/ĀÆ


Tall-Cell-662

People say a lot of things. To me it says more about their own maturity and experience than about reality


Senior_Objective_785

Yes but Iā€™m talking about being in the corner of the room?


maelius

Men do make noise when they eject the essence


mrtokeydragon

In both cases I'm sure mimicking porn has a huge influence


Embarrassed-Bee9962

You say that, but I donā€™t think I could be quiet if I tried. I doubt porn has to do with that.


gangsta_baby

Pretty sure the same gender norms of who makes noises are more biological and involuntary than cultural or learned. These norms exist all around the world, in all cultures, and have throughout history. So impossible to say people only do what they do because of what happens in modern, mostly-western, porn


fieryuser

Porn existed through all of history and all cultures throughout the world, too.


ScientificBeastMode

Only very recently did porn have any audio component. Even video came before audio. This trope of women being louder than men in bed is way older than that. Like several millennia older than that. The vast majority of human behaviors are primarily biologically driven, but we tend not to notice those things because they are almost completely universal and donā€™t vary by sex or gender. Some behaviors do vary by sex and/or gender, and are still biologically driven. For example, males tend to have more testosterone and therefore more aggression. That biological difference causes the vast majority of murders and domestic violence incidents to be committed by biological males. Many more examples exist. Gender norms might be culturally reinforced, but they are at least somewhat grounded in biological factors and probabilities over normal distributions.


ialbr1312

Now you got me thinking of the vinyl presser that recorded a sex session and it gets played during a moving picture porn but it's like a badly dubbed Japanese movie.


ScientificBeastMode

Hahaha, yeah, lots of strange ideas were turned into reality


gangsta_baby

That doesnā€™t mean everyone who ever had sex has watched porn. So whatā€™s your point?


Clueby42

Its been a trend for many years


Throwaway-donotjudge

Too surprised that I'm getting any


Duckriders4r

For men, it's all about the final climax more.Or less. It seems women enjoy the actual intercourse more than men


illmatic2112

Yeah cause we're trying to not bust a nut the entire time. Women can enjoy the whole thing, if a dude fully gives in then the party is over for both sides


sadgirl_26

I can tell when my boyfriend is getting too close too soon sometimes or when he tries to make it last longer, this is v true lol.


Duckriders4r

Yes , yes , there is that of course and of course the hotter she is , the harder it is Two hold off


jogerholzpin

The hotter she is determines your lasting skills? Way to dodge it


Duckriders4r

Oh you're only nineteen, Hey , stiff breeze will give you an erection Give it thirty years and you will know what I am talking about


Infuser

Heh, ā€œstiff,ā€ breeze


Fodor1993

Iā€™m there to get the job done first and foremost. Iā€™ll enjoy myself afterwards.


Dandibear

It doesn't have to be over for her....


NoBrainexe

Yeah but you gotta think about how tiring it is to pump for 10-20-30min, so when a guy finishes the exhaustion comes instantly. Dont get me wrong i love to satisfy my girl for as long as i can, but after that im running on fumes


Dandibear

Is it possible she'd prefer you go for less time and get her there at the end?


gangsta_baby

As a man who rarely comes, I do it for to enjoy act itself and to pleasure the girl. My orgasm isnā€™t the satisfying part for me. Iā€™m sure thereā€™s other guys out there like me but agree itā€™s probably not the norm


Duckriders4r

I just went through a little bit of this myself and it turns out I have adhd. The medica. Tion I'm on really does help with it.My problem was I was getting in my own head and couldn't concentrate long enough or enough to be able to pull the trigger


Tall-Cell-662

Even during the final climax some men are silent or barely breathe louder


Quiet-Hawk-2862

Yeah I've noticed that, women go "wooooh this is fuckin awesome, shag me more ooh ah cantona" and men just go "grunt" and "uhh"


MrNowYouSeeMe

Ooh ah Cantona šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


Thanh1211

I too grunt like Cantona when doing the sex


VanillaNL

I always understood itā€™s evolutionarily. Itā€™s an encourage to the man to climax, thatā€™s how I read it.


dogbreath67

Yes and in hunter gatherer days, when men hear some woman getting fucked in the bushes, they will come to fuck her too so she can collect all their sperm, increases odds of reproduction. Basically the women who make noise get fucked more so those genes are passed down.


Ultenth

LOL, I'd love see to a single credible source that gives even the tiniest bit of evidence to lend this credence.


jlozier

Not in humans, but the same idea has been theorized in non-human primates. See https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_copulatory_vocalizations (look at the ā€œadaptive functionā€ section under non-human primates) for citations


ScientificBeastMode

Thatā€™s honestly the most common explanation Iā€™ve heard over the course of multiple decades. There is also reason to believe that the human penis is shaped the way it is because it formed a natural ā€œspoonā€ that scoops semen out of the vagina as it pumps in and out, and males tend to stop thrusting in and out immediately upon ejaculation. In the context of multiple male partners within a short time period, this means a slightly higher probability of the most recent male partner ultimately producing offspring. To top it off, unlike males, females donā€™t really require a refractory period between orgasms, which lines up really well with the above theory. Keep in mind, nature doesnā€™t owe us any happiness. Plenty of animals naturally and predictably engage in rape or other harmful acts over the course of their reproductive cycles. Some spiders eat their mates, and ducks are notorious for gang rape, just to name a couple of examples. Humans, fortunately, have very powerful brains and the ability to enforce cultural norms that improve our quality of life, and we rightfully outlaw rape and other forms of violence that would have seemed common and perhaps even ā€œnaturalā€ to many of our ancient ancestors.


opineapple

This doesnā€™t make much sense to me. 1. Penises arenā€™t spoon-shaped, but okay, letā€™s say they are. 2. If women vocalizing during sex attracts you to come scoop out the guyā€™s semen and replace it with your own, itā€™s going to attract the guy after you as well. Vocalization isnā€™t giving any particular guy an advantage. And women arenā€™t looking to fuck as many men as possible, theyā€™re wanting to pick and choose, so attracting some random dude they didnā€™t pick in the first place isnā€™t really an advantage for her either. 3. Women can have multiple orgasms, but most canā€™t even have one orgasm from penetration alone. If we assume orgasms have influenced womenā€™s sexual preferences the way they have menā€™s (which is not a given, but letā€™s say they have), then that would select for men who make the woman feel safe and cared for, and who put in the time and effort to figure out how to give the woman pleasure. Attracting more men in addition to the one sheā€™s with is more likely to decrease rather than increase the chance of her having multiple (or any) orgasms in that case. So I donā€™t think noisy sex as a way to attract more males is really an advantage to the male or the female. It doesnā€™t help any given man ensure his semen is the one that sticks - heā€™s not going to be the only one attracted and he may have to duke it out with the competition anyway. It doesnā€™t give an advantage to the woman because men are drawn to her already - if sheā€™s actually chosen one to have sex with, she doesnā€™t want some horny rando she doesnā€™t like coming along and potentially fucking that up. So this theory pretty much falls flat IMO.


[deleted]

Women don't have refractory period? So if they enjoy themselves, it's till everything hurts?


ScientificBeastMode

Youā€™re really splitting hairs here. Women can have multiple orgasms in a very short time period MUCH more easily than men can. Thatā€™s the distinction. And whether or not it hurts is mostly irrelevant to the natural selection process that guides animals into behaviors like these. As I said, nature doesnā€™t owe us happiness. If it turned out that males just fell over and died the minute their children were born for some reason, that might make people very sad, but as long as thatā€™s a successful reproduction process over millions of years, nature has no problem with that. If it turned out that all human sex was non-consensual due to how our brains work, then that would be the norm, happiness be damned. The only reason rape isnā€™t more common than it is now is because we have come together as a society and used our intelligence, empathy, and legal structures to override what might otherwise be a more common practice. You can imagine a more brutal society in which ā€œmight makes rightā€ was the only social principle with any real weight behind it, for lack of better leaders or better social structures. That is certainly painful to think about, but consider the cultures today that still regard ā€œhonor killingsā€ as righteous, or those who execute gay people simply for existing. The sheer violence humans inflict upon each other is frankly a ā€œnaturalā€ state of affairs. We can culturally override those impulses and redefine what we consider ā€œnaturalā€ at the cultural level, but that requires the appropriate social structures, rule of law, and the ability to enforce that rule of law. Otherwise anything is fair game.


CerotoninCyndrome

"unlike males" i know males such as myself that can orgasm multiple times back to back within a short period. im also not aware of real males that let other males fuck their partners. other than the modern cuck fetish we hv today. not everything has to be "evolutionary" unless u believe we slowly transformed from monkeys over time


MysticRevenant64

Bruh yeah the whole appeal to nature thing is so overdone and it can get extremely cringe sometimes. Some people just have to accept that humans are very different and blanket statements donā€™t really work all the time


CerotoninCyndrome

even a chimps sentience just doesnt compare to that of a human. evolutionists like to pride themselves as 'free thinkers' ironically but tend to forget the bigger picture. even micro evolution when it comes to human races has some flaws


ScientificBeastMode

Yeah Iā€™m also one of those outlier males. But thatā€™s definitely the outlier situation. Itā€™s not a matter of ā€œthis blanket statement is always trueā€ vs ā€œthis blanket statement is completely false and has no basis in realityā€. Sometimes blanket statements help simplify a very complicated idea. If it turns out that even 75% of males very rarely have more than one orgasm within an hour or two, then that is sufficient to make my case. Just because something is a generalization doesnā€™t mean it is not generally true.


CerotoninCyndrome

"but thats defo an outlier situation" u think? šŸ§šŸ¤” u need to back that up mate


ScientificBeastMode

lol, I mean the idea of a refractory period for males is super well-documented. No need to dig deep for that. Here is the Wikipedia article on the topic: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Refractory_period_(sex)#:~:text=According%20to%20some%20studies%2C%2018,lasting%20less%20than%2010%20seconds. And yes, it describes a certain degree of variance, including some small portion of men who donā€™t really experience a refractory period at all. Very recent studies have shown that perhaps women have something similar, but the data isnā€™t very clear on the nature or extent of that.


CerotoninCyndrome

lol. "super well documented" the refractory period is 1 of the most understudied topics in sexual literature https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2019/10/16/what-you-think-you-know-about-the-male-refractory-period-is-probably-wrong/ also i dont take wikipedia as concrete evidence mate. but yes the younger the male the shorter the refractory period is. so its fair to say modern foods and lifestyle will make the refractory period longer. assuming it even existed in our ancestors


ScientificBeastMode

Okay, you totally win. You successfully made a case and convinced me.


anonbush234

Climax also makes men tired. Basically so they will fall asleep on top of the woman and keep others away


TwentyFour7

So she was the gatherer then?


shepardownsnorris

Do menā€¦*need* encouragement to climax?


ThirdSunRising

We have learned never to share our emotions with anyone. That stuff only leads to trouble.


McDonalds_icecream

Gotta lock in


Bartolomeo4968

Are you russian?


[deleted]

Cause we like hearing your noises, so weā€™re trying to stfu so we can hear you better


Tall-Cell-662

But women like your noises too but arenā€™t granted them


[deleted]

Ngl, sometimes Iā€™m in my girls ear like https://youtu.be/JmWefIuWkJw?si=ur7pLSmxaWMw6UGW


ZimmeM03

Yeah honestly nothing turns me on more than to hear my work being praised, loudly.


ibejeph

I'm using all my mental energy just trying to last.Ā 


tjm_87

first guy i was with was dead silent the whole time, even during climax which i found super strange, guy i hooked up with last week was very vocal and it was awesome. shame iā€™ll probably never see him again lol Men, we enjoy it so much more when you actually sound like youā€™re having funā€¦


Azztrix

If I was getting a big ass hard shaft rammed into me Iā€™d make more noise


imheretomakeyouthink

LMAOOO


HaloJonez

I make a point of not holding back at letting her know just how good they are. All have said how much of a turn on they find it.


The-Inquisition

I feel like I started making more noise when I got older and more comfortable but still its nothing compared to any of the women I've been with


DaSaw

I'm surprised nobody has yet answered, "because I grew up jacking it in the top bunk, and you have to do that quietly".


coolguy4206969

where do you think women grow up jacking it?


imheretomakeyouthink

jacking?


OverallVacation2324

Too out of breath


28gunsKY

Cause we are trying not to cum!


Mecha-Dave

I trained in high school so I learned to be quiet


2dogs0cats

This is probably the most relevant. For the first few years after we learn that fun activity there is a risk of being busted because we do not get enough privacy, we practice stealth. Then as our experience progresses from "training and practice" to actually having another human being involved, we probably still don't have the privacy to make any noise. Again.... stealth.


anickel120

Yes, except women have to do the exact same thing when they masturbate. Do you think we're just moaning with reckless abandon in homes shared with parents, siblings, or roommates?


coolguy4206969

yeah lol do these people think women donā€™t start masturbating until theyā€™re old enough to move out..?


AllahAndJesusGaySex

I donā€™t make noise because it takes all of my concentration to not cum too quick, or lose my boner. I can cum on command, but itā€™s a lot of mental work.


robkat22

My husband used to be very quiet. Then I told him how much I love hearing how much heā€™s enjoying himself. Heā€™s still not super loud or anything, but heā€™s not silent anymore. And itā€™s way better now.


BritanniaLoyalist

Self confidence issues?


JohnShipley1969

I think you're watching too many videos. I don't make a lot of noises because my girlfriend recorded me on her phone and it was a bunch of grunts and growls that were horribly embarrassing later.


Tall-Cell-662

Iā€™m sure theyā€™re sexy to her


JohnShipley1969

I've asked. They're not.


Tall-Cell-662

A lot of women like loud men. Donā€™t discourage the loud men please haha


JohnShipley1969

Oh, you do you. No judgement here. We've been together for almost 30 years.. We're both very aware of what the other likes. Me being loud isn't one of them. But my "loud" isn't the sexy deep voiced loud they read about in romance novels where they picture Jason Momoa dragging his sweaty hair across their bosom while he's getting the job done. My noises are more like I'm constipated and surprised I'm having sex, and then OH SHIT I'M NOT CONSTIPATED and I'm trying to hold it in before I soil the sheets.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


frowawayduh

Username checks out


editorreilly

Apparently you have been in my home on a Saturday night.


noamkreitman

My wife makes zero noises, it's actually quite frustrating to me. While I do make noises and talk. I don't think I've ever been with someone who was louder than I am though. Wonder if it's cultural...?


coolguy4206969

where are you from?


Odd_Butterscotch2387

I grunt like a wild boar!


r2002

Generally men are conditioned not to verbalize their feelings.


Mastermind1237

We fuck like we cryā€¦silent


Kannabiz

Because theyā€™re focusing not to nut, opposed to females they wanna nut


Renshy89

Different orgasms?


EatingTastyPancakes

I felt like just sounded weird. I tried it and never ask or got any feedback so I stopped


Current-Brain9288

Me personally, bc im insecure and want to make her feel well, so like a spy im listening whether she is moaning or not. Lol


TinyHat92

Ohā€¦ am I the weird dude then. Shit


rightwist

Personal answer: The noises I make are pretty aggressive, and TBCH that describes what I'm feeling.. I'm self conscious AF about my aggressive impulses. Even though everyone I've been with is strongly favorable and turned on by it


Lowgybear117

We keep it all bottled up inside like everything else


TheRealSMY

Women like to put on a show for their man


pmaurant

Iā€™m loud as hell! Quiet sex isnā€™t as good.


Critical_Ad5736

Bold of you to assume I know how girls moan.


BaconDrummer

We dont know if you like our sounds or not, but we know we dont want it to stop, so we shut up.


PhotoAcceptable3563

would be nice if someone can give an actual explanation, no comments is getting close to a cause... My thought is that for women the orgasm and preorgasm is stronger that in men. But I'm curious, is there any data?


CerotoninCyndrome

because if ur not the 1 fucking. then obviously its going to feel way more sensual. like when u massage/tickle urself vs someone else doing it to u


2weiX

We're busy up here, and already out of breath.


Kimpak

I'd love to, but I don't want to wake up the kids.


bamaskillet

It's carried over from the silent masturbating we grew up with.


hellotomorrow2020

Simply because it doesnā€™t feel as good for men


wegsty797

evolutionary biology. The woman who would moan are more likely to reproduce, because men enjoy that aspect of sex


Phi87

Concentration.


cloystercarillo

We've trained our entire lives how to jack off in silence, undetected. No amount if sex is about to change that.


burn_as_souls

I'm a caveman, super old. I'm trained to be quiet to not alert the dinosaurs.


PoweredbyBurgerz

Personally my partners have to always tell me to quiet down even if they donā€™t have roommates. I guess Iā€™m an exception.


saneikai

I don't know the answer to this, but I've seen it asked quite a bit on reddit and always thought to myself "wouldn't this simply be related to the perosnality/characteristics of the guy?" Wouldn't introverts (less expressive persons) be quiet compared to extroverts (more expressive person)? I'm an introvert and don't make any noise unless I'm being really rough... then it just turns into groans and grunts like I'm working out in the gym...


cgillard1991

Itā€™s the only time we (men) shut up and listen.


ThatBhartBoy

Gay men make plenty of noise šŸ˜


Dsnder7

I enjoy the act more then the noise, had an ex that had a problem with me being so quiet but itā€™s good thatā€™s why Iā€™m quiet.


SiRyEm

My wife wants sound while giving oral. So, I give her audible feedback. It helps keep her going on her trip to orgasm.


Nebakanezzer

Because you're a repost bot


Upset_Cold_9482

It's almost all work till right at the end. Anyone making noise right away isn't going to last long imo. Of course talking dirty, flirting, even laughing if your having fun is all good and welcome.


ilooklikeablob

I moan only for a man, I personally don't need to moan if I'm alone. I imagine it's just not needed. For me, I do it because I've been told it's strange not to moan, so I just fake moans now. I personally don't need to moan nor care to do so. It's just not needed for me to get off, I prefer to be quiet.


BlackEagle0013

I don't talk much, or make much noise regardless of what I'm doing. Some of us just don't.


Kahraabaa

Because its exhausting and we're mostly focusing on breathing


Senior_Objective_785

I donā€™t want anyone to see me in the room?


nlamber5

I have heard and I agree with the idea of masterbating trains guys to be quite. Sex is usually done at a time and place where itā€™s okay to be a little loud, but self-love time is often done when you donā€™t have as much privacy as youā€™d hope. Theory 2. Catching is more demanding than pitching.


edd010

To make a long story short: stupid gender expectations and sexism. And it applies to both sides.


Sundery4

Because it's cringe. The most I can give is a little labored breathing (through the nose šŸ‘ļøšŸ‘„šŸ‘ļø)


Numerous-Cow-2216

It depends from person to person i suppose. For example when i have sex i make noises like angry(not barking) pitbull or talk dirty.


frowawayduh

So her husband wonā€™t know.


TobyADev

Iā€™m not quite sure thatā€™s true.. but Iā€™m gay so


fieryuser

Use glue to keep it from falling off. Like pizza toppings.


caddyben

Why do you ask the same questions in multiple subreddits?


Rollingforest757

Maybe they want to get answers from the most people possible. That seems like a good idea to find the truth.


Jason4Pants

As a trans guy who moans a lot, now Iā€™m insecure šŸ˜‚


4URprogesterone

Men don't get as much pleasure from sex as women do. They only get one orgasm at the very end, they spend most of the time trying not to orgasm. That's also why most male kinks and fetishes revolve around not having sex. Men secretly just mostly have sex to make women happy and don't enjoy it all that much. They like foreplay and chasing and being teased. Having sex with a woman makes them hate her because then they can't be horny anymore for a few days, and it takes weeks to build up to the same level of horniness, plus they feel a bunch of shame after they orgasm. That's also why men resent when women show their bodies or have sexual desires, and why porn often is of "low status" men and all those memes about women needing to fuck a dude who's living on his cousin's fold out couch and doesn't have a job in order to have an orgasm exist. It's not a female fantasy, it's just that only men who feel that they have no other choice actually have sex with women, and high status men prefer to avoid it at all costs, and make up all kinds of insane bullshit about how they can't have sex until they do this or women don't want them because they prefer other types of men or whatever. All of that is because men don't enjoy fucking. If they enjoyed fucking, they wouldn't obsess over having their ability to fuck taken away.


dbe7

Speak for yourself? Itā€™s hard to answer the question when the premise is faulty.


TheCruicks

because it's gross


Tall-Cell-662

Itā€™s hot


[deleted]

I do, I can't control it ,I cum loud


prodyg

Men don't actually feel much before the climax. If a man is moaning a lot before the climax, he's probably faking.


uchman365

Talk about yourself, mate


Earl_your_friend

Because women are performers and men perform.


Bebe_Bleau

Men make more noise.