You just have to realize they are acting like a whole ass child and you're too grown for that base bullshit. Let them throw their temper tantrum and give them nothing.
Exactly this! People get super uncomfortable when you just stare at them instead of answering, and it gives them a moment of silence to realize how they’re acting in public. If they have even a shred of shame or sense of self dignity, it usually gets them to act right
This right here. I always let them talk until they are finally just repeating themselves for the 3rd time.
Then I calmly reply, using their own words against them in a Calm and Even tone. Im not about to lose my job over some jerkwad with a short fuse who refuses to accept the outcome.
Well if they say anything that can constitute a violation of title 7 under the civil rights act of 1964 you can tell your company, and document it and keep a personal copy, that you won't serve the customer because they're violating your rights.
They call you a dumb bitch?
Harassment on the basis of sex if you're a woman.
Try to find a situation like that and do that, and document it.
The company will likely be dumb as fuck and try to punish you, and here is where it gets good.
If you report it a violation of title 7 to your company they are legally required to act, if they act against you or fail to act then you can sue them for violating those rights.
You can get a sizable payout, definitely read up on title 7 and do your homework so you know when you got a chance for an air tight payday.
What's better than not having to deal with these assholes? Stomping your boot on the neck of the company that enables and demands it.
> air tight payday
This, as described, isn't even in the ballpark of an airtight payday. Most hostile work environment cases aren't. It gets thrown out on a motion to dismiss or on summary judgment if OP even finds a lawyer to take it.
We have an anti-bullying policy. If the customer says so much as a single swear word you don't have to service them at all and management will back you up.
This bratsy "customer is always right" bullshit needs to just die.
Be super nice and over the top chipper. Most of the time they are trying to get to you. To show you that they have power over you.
Instead say super upbeat "Thank you for your feedback".
This had the hilarious consequence of them slowly imploding in on themselves but at no point have you been anything but polite so they can't use anything against you without sounding like a psychopath.
Remember, the only people who yell at service workers are people who never matured enough to consistently control their emotions in public.
Stand up for yourself. If the customer is abusive, call over a manager tell the manager you are not putting up with their abuse. You are not paid enough to deal with abusive customers.
If you still need to escalate, call the cops.
Exactly what I thought would happen. Ignore them as best you can. Don't even make eye contact. When they've run out of wind or you know they're done. Just kindly tell them that you have an ear infection and were busy trying to help them and missed what they had said. If they could just repeat themselves. Let them spin again. Try not to laugh. Then say, " Oh, uh, ok, you'll have to go see my supervisor, she's right there. NEXT!!!"
Think about it this way: they can lie and report you no matter what you do. Even if you don't do anything at all, they can still report you and lie. You can be on your best behavior and they can still report you.
Honestly the best way I’ve learned to handle it is to suddenly go monotone and non reactive. I’m very blunt once they are rude to me. It’s helpful if you’re very knowledgeable about your position because they usually give you everything you need to make them feel stupid whilst remaining professional.
No smile no frown and no tone when speaking. Just seem blunt and bored and they get both frustrated and insecure at this. Respond as infrequently as possible when they are ranting. Make little to no eye contact. It especially adds to their discomfort when I’m chipper and then instantly drop the act when they are rude.
They expect you to become nervous and frantic or to be rude back and give them something to complain about. They don’t expect you to not care at all about their tantrum.
Don't sink to anyones level, they always have more experience down there than you will.
There are books on how to deal with difficult people. Wolf in Sheeps Clothing does a good job at how to deal with chronic aggressors.
This is going to sound counter intuitive but be super nice and act like an idiot when they ask a question. They will eventually say you are being sarcastic/condescending but insist that you are genuinely trying to address their concern. They will eventually get so frustrated with you they leave. When they storm off just remember that you are still going to get paid and can go home to have your beer/favorite show/whatever you like to do after work while they are dying inside because odds are they don’t have an ounce of respect for anyone and that’s why they take their anger out on others.
I've told customers that I'm not in childcare, and I don't tolerate temper tantrums for anybody over the age of 6. When they are ready to try again, I tell them to come back.
If they threaten me, I call the cops.
Put on the *sweetest* smile you can muster, look them right in their eyes, chuckle gently and say “well bless your heart”.
Nothing pisses off assholes more than when you counter their assholery with saccharine gooey over the top sweetness.
So much this. When you can muster up the sweetest smile and respond to their shouts, curses, temper tantrums and insults with nothing but polite and sickeningly sweet words, they look like the biggest AH in the world. I took great joy in seeing the veins bulge harder when they realize there is nothing they can do to get under my skin.
Remember, it's about control. They want to bring you down to their level. You control the situation by your response. You've got this.
Additionally, just endlessly empathize with them while remaining unmoved. "I totally get that you're frustrated. I'm emotionally uninvested, but I do want to help."
They'll be at a total loss for words.
kill them with kindness
My old boss many years ago was a wonderful woman and she always used to say that. She was a very sweet person and she would say "they don't get to take that away from me". I would scoff at it, of course, but the more I age the more I understand it. Don't give them the response they want. That doesn't mean you have to be a pushover but responding to pissy whining with anger is just going to make them dig in harder.
“Bless your heart” is also the southern backhanded kindness. It both is polite and derogatory, like saying “Oh you poor idiotic thing, you can’t help yourself.” With all the deniability you ever implied as such
Kill them with kindness is very effective. Nowadays I'm out of service industry and not scared about telling it how I see it to anyone. Blessing and a curse.
Ditto. I spent years in the service world. Now I get to call it out whenever I see an asshole abusing a cashier or waiter. I live for it. I spent 10 years thinking of things to say to these people….if they are dumb enough to give me a chance to say it now, I let them have it.
personally I would just walk away or step to the side and help the next customer. Ignore the rude customer completely once the manager shows up. If the manager wants to get abused let them.
>personally I would just walk away or step to the side and help the next customer. Ignore the rude customer completely once the manager shows up. If the manager wants to get abused let them.
This is exactly the way, right here. Put the weight on your boss to either back you up by ejecting the unruly patron or dealing with the asshole themselves, because you've finished with them.
^this right here. When I worked at chipotle and someone was being an asshole I would just not react at all and move to the next person. Makes them feel unimportant when they wanted to feel big and powerful.
Sounds like you have a manager problem, and they are fostering this atmosphere of abuse by avoiding any confrontation. I would look for a new job. Remember, people quit bad managers, not jobs.
Management needs to be retrained then. By letting this continue to happen, they are disrespecting you and your coworkers. I would never, ever let any of our patients talk to our employees like that more than once when I was an office manager at a physician's office.
It's how you go about it.
If you respond with over the top sweetness and say "I'm sorry sir/ma'am, we will pause serving you until you can regain your calm and speak with respect", there isn't a manager who could use that against you.
If you really want to piss the customer off, you can sweetly say something along the lines of "I understand it's your naptime and you are cranky sir, but please stop yelling so I can help you!" Show them you are in control of yourself and they can't do anything. Source: working in retail and customer service in person and in call centers.
You can even make rude customers explode by talking reeeeeallyyyyy slooowwwwwly or ^quietly . Because what’s the complaint? That an employee was talking too slowly? Or too quietly? Everyone will look at the rude customer weird.
And then when they finally stop say “can I talk now?” 😂 I’ve hit people with that one a couple times and I have to hold my breath so I don’t cackle out loud
"Excuse me, I can continue to help you once we can move forward civilly". If you get fired for that, it's a blessing in disguise. A manager should be stepping in when this happens. If your manager isn't, they suck at their job.
When I worked retail we made a game of it. You got points for specific phrases you got the customer to say. It was for the most part just for bragging rights but it made those interaction much more fun.
My favorite category was alway "You ruined Christmas".
Any customer who calls you names or tells you to stfu should be kicked out. If your manager doesn't back you up on that, find a new job where it doesn't happen
Businesses need to stop catering to people who do this. It should be a one warning to stop, and if they continue, all transactions are stopped, they’re asked to leave, and if they don’t the cops will be called. That’s how it should be, and if it was, you’d see this nonsense stop happening incredibly quick
If you are actually in love with this job, then learn to deal with shit customers by KILLING WITH KINDNESS. It's a fine line between smug and customer service shit eating grin. Learn to ride that line.
The $$ must be awesome.
If it's not awesome, and you do not love the job... Don't make excuses, find somewhere else to work.... Clean houses (can earn up $100/hr if you're tenacious enough), use craigslist for easy to find jobs, ask the local library for open positions, got cute feet?? Start an only fans.
Literally, you do not have to tolerate toxic jobs. Just don't make excuses.
Again, if you love the job, and or make $$$$. Do what feels best.
It's a tough skill to master but there comes a turning point in this practice where acting this way genuinely fills you with happiness as you know that the sorry excuse for a human that's shouting at you is absolutely seething at your reaction, and the first time you see them become enraged, confused, and embarrassed all at the same time, that is perfection...the ability to short circuit some assholes brain with only your kind, chipper words...it's deliciously evil 👌😈
No longer in retail, but I did it for 8 years. It gave me some anger issues that I got therapy for. Try to continue with your work but internally narrate the experience like a nature documentary or like you're taking notes on a weird alien species. They're the ones being bizarre, not you. Just separate yourself from the experience if you can, they're not really mad at you, but they're taking it out on you because you're an easy target.
That’s threatening and intimidating behavior. Ask them to leave. If they don’t, call law enforcement and have them trespassed. If you’re reprimanded or fired, sue for wrongful termination and/or a threatening work environment. You have the right to safety. If you don’t feel safe, that’s a problem your employer must address.
Having seen your replies to other suggestions on here, l suggest you have a word with your manager. If they fire you for not accepting abuse then claim unemployment.
Ask your management to justify why you are being forced to sell to people who are personally abusive to you. Give them examples. Ask them how they would feel if you talked to them the way customers talk to you - would they still employ you? When they say it's all to do with money then ask them would they be happy for their daughter to be abused like that just to add a few dollars to turnover. Watch them squirm.
Its not. Customer service is NOT accepting abuse. The suggestion otherwise is obscene. It is never the front line people that are supposed to take that. It is ALWAYS a manager or supervisor that de-escalates an abusive situation on behalf of the company.
"They" are lying to you. Check your employment agreement or job description for responsibility to take abuse. If it's not part of your job, and I can't say this loud enough, STOP DOING IT FOR FREE.
Long moment of silence.
“Sorry, say that again?” or “Why are you speaking like that to me?” just respond with utter bafflement that any grown adult would act like this, treat them like a slow demanding child.
Frankly, you should tell them to fuck off and walk away. No job requires people be abused by others. If your employer does not protect you, it’s time for you to find a new job. Stand up for yourself if someone talks poorly to you. Whip out your camera and start to record them, so you can protect yourself and show that it wasn’t you.
I always just keep it on topic. Used to repo furniture. One guy threatened to shoot me next time I knocked on his door. I just asked “so are you going to pay the bill or not?” There was also a guy that called in and cussed one of my other guys out. We missed his delivery date so I called him back and apologized and told him he can’t talk to us that way. When he started going off I reminded him who I was because we had just talked a few days prior face to face. A good way to calm people down is to remind them that you are just a person trying to do a job. They may be upset about a situation but that doesn’t mean they can take it out on you.
I worked selling and financing cars for years and I’ve had so many grown men screaming in my face over “principles” (like a $20 floor may upgrade they feel they deserve for free) that it’s amazing.
You take that anger and channel it into stonewalling the absolute shit out them. Cut your answers down and stay consistent. Enjoy watching them throw a temper tantrum. If they threaten legal action completely disengage and say all further communications will be done through the companies legal department as this conversation will be used in court.
Don’t let them grind you down.
I asked my own management in the past, and they told me that the way I can turn away a customer that’s acting unreasonably is to say, “I don’t feel comfortable helping you,” and to go get a manager. I’ve never really needed it, but maybe the same can help you. Definitely try to ask a superior for your own protocol, though
What worked for me was telling myself, several times a day until it really stuck, that I outright refuse to allow my emotional well-being be dictated by people like that. I simply refuse to hand over my strings and be a puppet to their anger at the powerlessness they feel over their lives.
My favorite thing to do is just go full monotone and just “okay”, everything until they stop lol.
If you stop arguing with them or engaging, most of the time they stop acting like assholes. Either that or just escalate to a manger, let them handle it and walk away.
It’s helpful to give them the look like you don’t care and work a little slower than you were before you were insulted. They insult you for a reaction. Don’t give them the satisfaction. They are expecting you to give in to their demands. If it escalates to something more, then that is above your pay grade and up to your manager to deal with.
If some jackoff was spewing all that vile trash at me, I’d say “i need to go check in the back for it.” Then just leave them hanging for a looong time.
In my job we can sick security on people so i just speak really calm then go check on something in the back, call security who stands by or if they hear yelling and curing, escorts them out snd or calls 911. But i work for a hospital.
When I do my other home health duty, I go to a patient’s home. If they or their family start yelling, I am known for just standing up and leaving.
Last year, this woman’s dad over the phone gave me permission to visit him… then I was greeted by this water buffalo looking tank if a woman- his daughter. The guy was nice, his daughter was instantly a bitch.
I went over his health care stuff, took his vital signs and his daughter began screaming at me.. then a pit bull comes into the room and I politely tell her to please secure her dog & she starts fucking kicking the dog. At this point, I grab my work stuff and start making an exit. After beating the dog and kicking it down every few steps until it was down the stairs (i didn’t watch the whole thing) i was walking towards my car as she comes aggressively walking behind me…
I was ready to kick the shit out if her if she tried to touch me but it was more aggressive yelling and cursing and i just say “have a nice day.” And as i walk to my car “don’t you turn your fucking back on me!” And i just ignored her and got the fuck out of there…
My manager calls me later to ask “what happened?” And I said, the patient was really nice but his adult daughter was physically aggressive, beating the dog, behaving in an intimidating manor to the point that i feared my safety so I left… at least we have a policy where we can do this and the managers can’t really say anything.
My coworkers also observed this big large Marge’s angry behavior and they reported them to adult protective services and discharged them for her not complying with the hospital services that were recommended.
An other time I just flat out refused to see a patient was a massive sized guy who was a convicted pedophile… i went to see him then HE started talking about it and the children & it was so stomach turning…. I just sent my manager an email of his convictions and said he was not wanting to discuss his health but wants to engage me in talks about his criminal life and what jail was like, etc..
Waste your manager’s time. Every time.
Make them deal with it. Remind them that you’d gladly refuse service to these jerks yourself, but, hey! rules are rules!
Using the same saccharine sweetness you reserve for these customers is optional for that last bit.
Every situation is different, but here are a few things I have done. When I was called a bitch, I immediately stopped engaging. No one gets to name call or use inappropriate language, with me. It is above my pay grade. Go get a manager, and tell them the customer is aggressive and using inappropriate language.
When I got called stupid, I apologized, and told the customer my degree was in English literature and Latin, not boxing groceries. That really pissed him off. He went and got a manager and demanded an apology. I said I would apologize again, as soon as he apologized, for calling me stupid. No apologies were given.
The one time someone was bad mouthing me in line; I stopped ringing groceries, looked him directly in the eye, and said that’s not a very nice thing to say. My expression was blank and my tone neutral. He immediately apologized. I never seen someone so embarrassed, in my life.
Just remember if you get angry they win, because that is what they want. Keep your cool and you can can try and pretend it’s entertaining. Do not give them what they want.
When I worked retail management I used to kick customers out when they treated my employees that way. One day a dude was being a piece of shit and I straight up said "get the fuck out of my store!" And he asked for corporates number and I said "1-800-fuck-you" he looked shocked anyone would talk to him that way. He came back and looked scared to death of me when he would come in, and never said anything to anyone rude.
Had another dude come in and say "ooohh...I just got out of prison and you ladies look juicy" about one of my cashiers and about my GM. I just straight up said "nope, you need to go" and called mall security.
Managers need to look out for their employees not take this shit from customers and let customers give this shit to employees.
I know alot of people cant afford to do this. But refuse to serve them… and when your manager says something tell them you are not payed to be disrespected and abused. You are here to provide a service…. This wouldn’t fly in a first world country with actual rights for their workers 😉
Whenever I got these (esp. Black friday) would be the only time I'd try pushing a store credit card. Only one black friday karen was enough of an ass to warrent reading the whole credit card pamflet outloud to her.
When customers are rude to me, I just pretend like I don't notice. I think it makes them feel awkward when I act like a normal person instead of returning the same energy
I was a cashier in a grocery store for a while.
One time someone came through with a few things they claimed were in a discount cart or something, but the items didn't have discount stickers.
I scanned them, they rang in at their usual price, and the customer got mad at the price and me, so I voided the item and called for a price check. Kept scanning while I waited for the return, but a couple items later there was another complaint, then another.
I made this person OK the price of every single item. One by one. Scan, is this price OK? Scan, is this price ok? Eventually they got tired of it and just let me do my job without complaint.
They had a hundred items.
You wanna fight I can fight back.
Oh, and those items were *not* in the discount bin.
There is a fine line between rude and disrespectful. If they are rude, having a bad tone, etc. you just need to learn to let it bounce right off you. This comes with maturity and life experience.
If there is undeniable disrespect via swearing or name calling, you do not need to take that. Stop engaging with that customer immediately and inform your supervisor you are being verbally abused.
Yeah, no one deserves to be treated like this. Put your managers. If they aren’t doing their job of managing they shouldn’t be there. No job is worth that bullshit.
Give ‘em a little chuckle if you REALLY wanna see ‘em flip their lid.
Every time I’ve done that I’ve gotten a childish, irate, self-centered reaction. “HE’S LAUGHING AT ME.” Yeah, man and so is everyone else…
but, I had a manager who would back me up because I was a good worker. That manager eventually left and I did too because the new one sucked.
You can’t let people treat your staff however they want because people WILL and it gets insane. Sorry you’re going through this.
I have found that malicious niceness works both for pissing them off even more, AND putting myself in a better mood. I mean being persistently sickeningly nice, smiling, etc. You can't get in trouble for being nice, and that makes them mad bc they want you to react so they can have something to complain about. In this way, being nice is the absolute worst thing you can do to them. 10x worse than calling them a bitch right back. No hate to anyone who isn't able to achieve this, but I promise.it works in both professional and personal disputes.
i tell them to leave and don’t entertain it. once i get a gap in the tirade i’ll usually just look them up and down, seriously and sternly and say,
“okay, you’re not getting served again. finish up, and then you need to leave.”
then i would typically go and get a male team member to wait with me as we both watch them finish whatever they have and ensure they leave because nobody respects women in the service industry.
Say to them that if they can't talk to you without being respectful that you can't help them. Ask them to leave your place of work until they can talk in a respectful manner or hang up the phone.
Don't let them get to you, just sad people behaving like children. Mind change.
What fucking line of work are you in jeez this sounds terrible. Why do you continue to work at this place and degrade yourself? This is a terrible situation and sounds like it’s taking a toll on you I would find a new job as soon as possible. Good luck OP
The easiest thing to do for me is just to stare them dead in the eyes and say absolutely nothing. Like, speak the ABSOLUTE bare minimum. People usually wear themselves out if they don’t have something to feed the fire, plus it tends to come off as creepy which is the *best* way to fend off assholes.
I always got super polite and sugary sweet in direct response to their level of bitchy. It drives them nuts and usually hits a point where they look absolutely bat shit crazy to anyone around. It also has the added bonus of giving them nothing they can actually report you for
When I started getting mad at rude customers, I would get polite. The angrier I got the more polite I became. One guy didn't clue in until I was saying "Sir" at the end of every sentence. He finally clued in and his tone softened considerably.
When they’re just being a Karen, be extra friendly. I always found it quite amusing in what different world these people live.
If they’re insulting you, straight up ignore them. There’s a difference between being a pain in the ass and just straight up dehumanizing. You don’t have to let yourself be treated that way.
II remember when I was working in a call center and this one guy that called was just being a tool. I eventually told him that I am not going to deal with his attitude and hung up on him. I told my manager immediately what I did and they reviewed the call. The call was so bad that my manager ended up emailing the company to tell them that we will not be dealing with this individual again if he calls lol
Just respond like a robot would. Ignore what they say that isn't relevant to the sale, turn on your fakest, but not scariest, smile and help them so they get out asap.
In any business situation, period, the second a customer or client calls you names or directs personal insults, move it up the line to a manager. Period. Your interaction with them should be done. Period.
If management doesnt agree, then they are willingly opening themselves to harassment claims. In that case, get it documented.
Smile and act soo sugary sweet to them that it pisses them off even more. Customer service jobs suck because people suck. Everyone is so entitled these days and think they are the only ones who are right. I'm sorry you have to put up with that nonsense. Been there, done that and unfortunately, I was not the strong person I am now. It really hurt my feelings when people would get upset with me for something that was not my fault. I've grown a backbone and a set of balls now, and I'm getting to an age where I really don't care to put up with a lot of bullshit, so I tend to set people straight now when they come at me for something I didn't do. Hang in there and know that there are many of us behind you who support you and went through the same bullshit.
Always remember that we all repeat patterns of behaviour that get results and we all basically behave the same way - by default - the way we behaved when we were like 8 or 9 years old.
I don't know how much you get paid, but with the examples you're reeling off I'm pretty sure you're in the United States where a lot of people seem to go through life with a stick up their ass. I'm in the UK and if someone is 'kicking off' like that in a shop they get told to knock it off or leave. In my part of London other people in the queue will also intervene and teach them how to speak properly to people.
There's zero excuses for abusing retail staff. But back to the point about how much you get paid, I'm prepared to bet your monthly pay cheque that the real issue isn't with you, or even with the store you're working in. The real issue is coming from somewhere else.
You're getting it a lot more these days because culture - and culture is the Big Thing which determines how we interact with other people - is becoming more and more mean-spirited.
Understand that people will always 'front' or act in ways which is the opposite of that they feel they're most vulnerable about. So if they're coming across all entitled and nasty - because this is nastiness - it's because they don't feel very powerful or respected.
You deal with this with empathy and compassion. You look them in the eye and ask them point blank "Okay so what's the real issue here?" Never get involved in their childish mindgames and pointless battles for self-esteem. It's always a case of "Okay I'm listening. What do you want to talk to me about? What are you getting so upset about?"
If you confront people directly, with empathy and compassion, nine times out of ten you will get a result. The more you do this the easier it becomes to do this. The more you do this the easier it becomes to deal with others who act like this.
Stand your ground, stand firm, and never ever no matter what is said and what they do, give in.
If customers rant and rave at me, I stand there completely silent, blank look on my face. When finished I say "taking all that into consideration, would you like to continue having a conversation like the adults we are, or shall I just leave?". As soon as they start ranting again, I calmly and silently walk away.
Be obnoxiously nice back to them. If they call you stupid, just agree with them and smile. They are hoping to get a negative reaction out of you. Don't give it to them.
Smile and keep on working. Behind that smile just remember that you’re laughing at their silliness.
You can’t change others. You can only change how you react to them.
Bring a small mirror to work.
When they reach the front of the line and are starting to complain to you, if they act like assholes then you just hold the mirror up and let them see themselves while saying nothing back.
Just stare at them and let them see themselves, it'll either really confuse them b/c like dogs they can't recognize their reflection as themselves and will eventually start fighting with it or they will leave in disgust.
For me, I always just pitied them. Attempting to bully a service worker to feel better about yourself is one of the most pathetic things you can do. I may have been making $9/hour at a thrift store, but at least I hadn't given up on my self-respect, clearly unlike them
Keep in mind the fact that by reacting angrily or defensively, you are giving them what they want. Getting a negative reaction from you reinforces their self-righteous notion that they are somehow above you or deserving of respect while you are not. It's not always possible to disarm them, but there are tactics that sometimes work. Try to imagine them as a 5 year old child having a public tantrum. A benign smile or blank face along with silence OR, if the situation dictates, short phrases like: "I'm sorry to hear that." "Oh, that is frustrating/sad." "Really?! " ...a mild "Oh, okay" "It seems like you're having a bad day. That's tough." Repeat phrases a Kindergarten teacher would say to a volatile student even if they escalate the insults. In an ideal world, other customers, coworkers or managers would swoop in to help deescalate the situation, but if you're on your own, these often do the trick of taking the puff out of their huff and they proceed to having a shitty attitude out the door.
As someone who really struggles with this due to some emotional dysregulation issues, I find that I usually have three options and it depends on the context which one I go with:
1) Escalate. It's not your job to take abuse. If someone is actively trying to provoke you to anger and you feel abused and unsafe, call your supervisor or manager. They SHOULD take over for you, though if your management is ultra shitty they'll throw you to the sharks, and you get to move on to option 2 or 3.
2) Level with them. Take the first chance you can to explain to the customer that you're literally there to help them, that's literally what you're paid to do, and by antagonizing you they're only undermining their own self-interests. This...has a pretty low success rate, and usually means you move to option 3.
3) Laugh at them. When you're at your boiling point and you can tell the anger is about to set in, shift gears and laugh at them. Laugh at them for being childish and spoiled and entitled, and for feeling so small that they have to abuse a service worker to feel in control. THIS MAY GET YOU INTO TROUBLE WITH MANAGEMENT, but it'll probably be LESS trouble than if you had yelled at/assaulted a customer.
And of course, the unspoken fourth step is keeping your resume up-to-date and doing whatever you can to get the fuck out of there.
Anyone who would talk to me like that would be out immediately. If they resist I would call the cops. Do not get your hands dirty.
If boss does not have your back let them fire you and collect unemployment.
Man at a counter at an airport was harassing the gate agent about trying to get on a flight after his was canceled. She finally said, “you’re really not giving me a lot of reasons to want to help you.” His demeanor changed immediately, and he shut up.
Ideally, you'd have an employer who would allow you to hang up. My previous employer allowed us to hang up after two warnings. I would say things like, "I do not appreciate the profanity. If this keeps up I will have to terminate the call." Chances are your boss is going to want you to feign empathy, and say something along the lines of,"I understand that you are frustrated".
One time I had an especially Acerbic customer who I ended up hanging up on. I got written up, even though she started throwing profanity and vitriol from the beginning of the call. I left that job 3 months later
Sometimes I'd choose to kill em with kindness, passive aggressive kindness of course. Saying something along the lines of 'wow i too have woken up on the wrong side of the bed before', 'bless you, controlling our emotions sure is hard huh? My 2yr old nephew struggles just like you' And as they leave loudly saying 'I hope your day gets better' with a shit eating grin on my face
Handling it in the moment is the easy part, all you need to do is smile, nod and wait to finish the transaction. Drives them nuts if you don’t react.
The hard part is coping with the PTSD from dealing with it day after day.
It’s not worth your mental health, if it bothers you on that level I’d recommend seeking a different occupation or at the very least a therapist to vent to.
Edit: you’re also protected from harassment in the workplace (US), this includes harassment from customers and your job may need to accommodate you, especially if any of the reasons they are harassing you fall under protected status ie: age, sex, religion, race, skin color etc
Could always be petty, start moving slower, make deliberate mistakes that require a manager to fix. Lots of ways to be a total ass without saying a word while also doing your job (albeit poorly)
Always had a bit of luck looking at the ass clown and shaking my head, "Looks like SOMEONE here didn't get breast fed as a child. Why else would you be so starved for attention now?"
Stop what you're doing and just stare at them until they calm down, don't say a word just stare at them and wait.
They'll either stfu or leave. At least that's how it goes in my experiences.
Someone used a good anecdote when they saw a customer treating me like shit once. They asked if they took a shit on a platter and tried handing it to me would I take it? Of course not. Then they’d look like a dumbass holding a platter of their own shit. Part of them wants to ruin your day. Perfect the creepy smile and dead eye stare and say thank you. Then they’ll be stuck holding onto whatever negativity they tried to put on you.
Say things like Thank you and That's nice. And maybe follow up with a fake anecdote like Yeah I just got done crying the back before walking out here. Etc. That kind of stuff where you cave a little throws them off and deadpanning a follow up confuses them even further.
Lol I get all of that. My personal favourite is “useless high school drop out.” Bitch I have 2 degrees believe me those pieces of paper are way more useless than I have ever been.
Honestly, they look like fucking unhinged idiots, and 99% of the people in the store witnessing this think so too. Just do the basics of your job when it comes to them, and ignore their childish antics as best you can. No need to be extra nice or accommodating. Nothing will make these people happy except you prostrating yourself as a lowly serf.
Had to work at a group home where clients would become verbally and physically abusive on the regular. Keep physical distance and take ANY action necessary to defend yourself from physical attacks. But verbal attacks, treat them like the wind. Let them flow past you without a care. Learn what your triggers are, so that if you feel yourself getting mad or afraid you can be proactive in getting the hell out of there. If they start raising their voice, don’t be afraid to nudge them into talking to your manager instead, or giving them a break to calm down.
“I can see you’re getting upset, I understand your frustration with this!” Empathize so you’re on their side. Then:
“Let me step away for a moment to look into this for you, I’ll be right back” or “Perhaps this is worth escalating to my boss, would you like me to call them over”?
Try to distance yourself from the encounter. Make yourself a bingo card with all those nasty remarks such as “I’m paying your salary” and “in my day cashiers were a lot smarter” and see how many boxes you can tick. Root for their predictable nastiness. Turn their bullying into a game where you’re always the winner.
Kill them with kindness and pretend they just gave you a compliment. It's important to do it with a smile and to end the conversation in a pleasant manner before you address their issue, if you're able to.
"Jesus! Is everyone in the store lazy? How about you? Are too lazy to help?"
"Thank you ma'am! I do work quite hard and getting recognition from customers like you makes a world of difference! You have a nice day too!"
Then walk away.
Assholes and Karen's HATE that because they get absolutely nothing they hoped for.
No satisfaction from rustling your jimmies.
No help in resolving their issue.
No way to complain if you're good at faking sincerity.
I've had a Karen try to complain when I've done this. The recording had her being a complete knob to me and me respectfully replying with kindness and then disengaging with her. Manager asked if I heard her and I said yes but I must have misheard her attacks as something more polite and just shrugged while looking confused.
It's a super difficult position to put the douche customer and your manager in and it's a real treat to see them squirm figuring out what to do or being forced to deal with the Karen themselves instead of using me as a shield.
Verbal abuse, even if perpetrated by customers, falls under the hostile work environment prohibition in federal law.
Document the abuse and report it. Make sure the incident cannot be ignored. The business could be held liable for any damages arising from these cases if they fail to remedy the situation.
Quote Squidward in your best squidward impersonation. “Are you planning on ordering today sir?” “We serve food here sir.” “I hate all of you.” “PLeAsE….CoMe AgaIn…..when I’m not working.” “DROWN IN IT!” “I’ve seen more alert people in a retirement home.” “Well, I’ll do it, but I won’t like it.” “Hello. You’ve reached the house of unrecognized talent.” “I didn’t realize it was happy hopping moron day.” Well you get the idea hahahaha
I punch them in the face repeatedly until I get taken away by the police. That way, I get fed and housed by the system and don't need my shit job, and that asshole learned a valuable lesson about treating front line emoyees with respect.... if they ever wake up from that coma. /s
1. Be positive and happy dealing with these angry customers. Go overboard with it. For every angry customer that your not defended with by the supervisor contact HR about this workplace harassment. Also start looking for another job. (Yes I know HR bad and will protect the company, but we want them to do their job in this case and it starts a paper trail on the company's end, also don't be afraid to jump up the chain by complaining to a higher up manager)
2. Document everytime this happens date/time/location. The company has cameras and will be recording. Also check out your state/country laws on recording people. If legal record every angry customer you can with in reason(HIPPA may apply). Document EVERYTHING you can.
3. Contact EEOC(or equivalent), as at this point from the way you describe the situation is at a form of illegal harassment, contact a lawyer as well and show them the mountain of documents and possible recordings. If you have enough documentation the lawyer will smell an easy win and payday and might go Pro Bono.
Obligatory disclaimer I'm not a lawyer and this isn't legal advice but my own way of dealing with this situation to effect the best possible outcome and maybe make a little scratch along the way. I hope everything works out and you can leave or at least get a better working environment.
Edit: wrote this one phone so the formatting is messed up.
"As noted, order number 743, thinks I'm a stupid bi....can you spell that for me please? Oh wonderful. Silent T. I just want the other witnesses, I mean customers, to know that I am indeed what this person says. I will make sure that this is noted on my personal record, as well as my taxes. - looks at receipt for name from debit card- Now Mr Loose Duke, how else might I serve you?"
You need to start interviewing at different pharmacies and switch jobs. This is an environment enabled by the manager and not every place is like that. I will say that people can be irate when they are in pain or spending a lot on prescriptions, but that doesn’t mean you have to take it on the chin.
When you are ready to leave, reach out to HR and document the hostile work environment and how your manager put your job at risk contributing to repeat customers escalating their nasty behavior. I know HR is there to protect the company but it at least gives them the chance to correct it for anyone else who chooses to stay or replaces you.
Lastly I’ll say consider a different career and what it would take to get you started in it. Since you are young now is not the time to settle for a paycheck but really think about what you want out of life and how your job either hinders you or contributes to it.
It looks like you’re shutting down every idea in here, saying you have no choice in it. You can’t refuse service. You can’t tell the customer no. Your manager won’t do anything… Well, it seems you know the answer.
If it were me, I’d start looking for another job and leave. I’d also would refuse to serve customers who cursed at me and give my manager the ultimatum to either do it themselves or I kick out the customer. You should grow a spine and stick up for yourself.
I'd always be the troll with assholes like this. Always be nice and smile. Do your job and try to sell them shit or whatever you do but pay close attention to what is making them get more pissed off and continue to push that button.
Act nice and friendly the entire time and just keep pushing that button until they make an ass out of themselves lmao
Refusing to give them the reaction they are looking for while at the same time feeding into their anger in a friendly and professional manner.
Also when they get to the point of rage quitting and storming out hit em with the ol' "HAVE A NICE DAY SIR! :)" just the shit cherry on top and you can always tell they hate it.
There's a book called Nonviolent Communication and it helped me a lot with this. It's also worth doing a google search for verbal de escalation techniques.
I worked customer service for a cellphone company and customers can be really nasty.
We can't change how others communicate but we can change how we respond.
I learned what people hate most is apathy. Think about it if you are delighted or made angered by a person it shows some level of thought about the individual. To be apathetic is worse than hatred it means you think nothing of them. People can not stand being seen as nothing. These people are coming in to pay you for a service provide the service and end interaction. They don’t pay you to give them any emotion so don’t give it. I know this might be a struggle cause it may feel you are attacked by these people sometimes, but they seriously are not worth your time or emotion. Enough time and mindfulness and you will be able to control most your interactions.
You just have to realize they are acting like a whole ass child and you're too grown for that base bullshit. Let them throw their temper tantrum and give them nothing.
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Well yeah, still do your job. Give them nothing as far as a reaction from you.
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Exactly this! People get super uncomfortable when you just stare at them instead of answering, and it gives them a moment of silence to realize how they’re acting in public. If they have even a shred of shame or sense of self dignity, it usually gets them to act right
This right here. I always let them talk until they are finally just repeating themselves for the 3rd time. Then I calmly reply, using their own words against them in a Calm and Even tone. Im not about to lose my job over some jerkwad with a short fuse who refuses to accept the outcome.
That's the same thing you do to a toddler while they are having a temper tantrum. You just wait out their little fit til they tucker themselves out.
"Have a blessed day!" With the look from that Daenerys meme. https://www.dictionary.com/e/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Passive-Aggressive-Daenerys-2.png
"Have the day you deserve!"
I used that yesterday to an asshole. They looked at me like they just fucked up 😂
I hope you have a day as nice as you are!
Customer: " I'LL NEVER SHOP HERE AGAIN" ME: " well bless your heart".
Never Wednesday
Well if they say anything that can constitute a violation of title 7 under the civil rights act of 1964 you can tell your company, and document it and keep a personal copy, that you won't serve the customer because they're violating your rights. They call you a dumb bitch? Harassment on the basis of sex if you're a woman. Try to find a situation like that and do that, and document it. The company will likely be dumb as fuck and try to punish you, and here is where it gets good. If you report it a violation of title 7 to your company they are legally required to act, if they act against you or fail to act then you can sue them for violating those rights. You can get a sizable payout, definitely read up on title 7 and do your homework so you know when you got a chance for an air tight payday. What's better than not having to deal with these assholes? Stomping your boot on the neck of the company that enables and demands it.
> air tight payday This, as described, isn't even in the ballpark of an airtight payday. Most hostile work environment cases aren't. It gets thrown out on a motion to dismiss or on summary judgment if OP even finds a lawyer to take it.
We have an anti-bullying policy. If the customer says so much as a single swear word you don't have to service them at all and management will back you up. This bratsy "customer is always right" bullshit needs to just die.
You should not be subject to verbal abuse while doing your job.
You should be protected from verbal abuse while doing your job.
Be super nice and over the top chipper. Most of the time they are trying to get to you. To show you that they have power over you. Instead say super upbeat "Thank you for your feedback". This had the hilarious consequence of them slowly imploding in on themselves but at no point have you been anything but polite so they can't use anything against you without sounding like a psychopath. Remember, the only people who yell at service workers are people who never matured enough to consistently control their emotions in public.
Stand up for yourself. If the customer is abusive, call over a manager tell the manager you are not putting up with their abuse. You are not paid enough to deal with abusive customers. If you still need to escalate, call the cops.
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Exactly what I thought would happen. Ignore them as best you can. Don't even make eye contact. When they've run out of wind or you know they're done. Just kindly tell them that you have an ear infection and were busy trying to help them and missed what they had said. If they could just repeat themselves. Let them spin again. Try not to laugh. Then say, " Oh, uh, ok, you'll have to go see my supervisor, she's right there. NEXT!!!"
Think about it this way: they can lie and report you no matter what you do. Even if you don't do anything at all, they can still report you and lie. You can be on your best behavior and they can still report you.
Sounds like you need a new job
100% I hope you find something less… abusive, OP
Honestly the best way I’ve learned to handle it is to suddenly go monotone and non reactive. I’m very blunt once they are rude to me. It’s helpful if you’re very knowledgeable about your position because they usually give you everything you need to make them feel stupid whilst remaining professional. No smile no frown and no tone when speaking. Just seem blunt and bored and they get both frustrated and insecure at this. Respond as infrequently as possible when they are ranting. Make little to no eye contact. It especially adds to their discomfort when I’m chipper and then instantly drop the act when they are rude. They expect you to become nervous and frantic or to be rude back and give them something to complain about. They don’t expect you to not care at all about their tantrum.
Don't sink to anyones level, they always have more experience down there than you will. There are books on how to deal with difficult people. Wolf in Sheeps Clothing does a good job at how to deal with chronic aggressors.
This is going to sound counter intuitive but be super nice and act like an idiot when they ask a question. They will eventually say you are being sarcastic/condescending but insist that you are genuinely trying to address their concern. They will eventually get so frustrated with you they leave. When they storm off just remember that you are still going to get paid and can go home to have your beer/favorite show/whatever you like to do after work while they are dying inside because odds are they don’t have an ounce of respect for anyone and that’s why they take their anger out on others.
I've told customers that I'm not in childcare, and I don't tolerate temper tantrums for anybody over the age of 6. When they are ready to try again, I tell them to come back. If they threaten me, I call the cops.
Sure. But having to constantly put up with such abuse really throws into question the Uber-capitalist mantra about the so-called “dignity of work.”
Put on the *sweetest* smile you can muster, look them right in their eyes, chuckle gently and say “well bless your heart”. Nothing pisses off assholes more than when you counter their assholery with saccharine gooey over the top sweetness.
So much this. When you can muster up the sweetest smile and respond to their shouts, curses, temper tantrums and insults with nothing but polite and sickeningly sweet words, they look like the biggest AH in the world. I took great joy in seeing the veins bulge harder when they realize there is nothing they can do to get under my skin. Remember, it's about control. They want to bring you down to their level. You control the situation by your response. You've got this.
Additionally, just endlessly empathize with them while remaining unmoved. "I totally get that you're frustrated. I'm emotionally uninvested, but I do want to help." They'll be at a total loss for words.
kill them with kindness My old boss many years ago was a wonderful woman and she always used to say that. She was a very sweet person and she would say "they don't get to take that away from me". I would scoff at it, of course, but the more I age the more I understand it. Don't give them the response they want. That doesn't mean you have to be a pushover but responding to pissy whining with anger is just going to make them dig in harder.
“Bless your heart” is also the southern backhanded kindness. It both is polite and derogatory, like saying “Oh you poor idiotic thing, you can’t help yourself.” With all the deniability you ever implied as such
I really like this aspect of it. There's an implied "I'm so sorry for whatever happened that made you turn out this way" note to it.
Kill them with kindness is very effective. Nowadays I'm out of service industry and not scared about telling it how I see it to anyone. Blessing and a curse.
Ditto. I spent years in the service world. Now I get to call it out whenever I see an asshole abusing a cashier or waiter. I live for it. I spent 10 years thinking of things to say to these people….if they are dumb enough to give me a chance to say it now, I let them have it.
If the abuser is wearing a cross or other religious items, "I'll pray for you" works as well.
Came here to say exactly this
I would refuse service if they were calling me a bitch, screaming at me, and cursing. Especially if the manager wasn’t backing me up.
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then the manager should have to deal with these customers. When they act like this just say "Let me get the manager for you".
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personally I would just walk away or step to the side and help the next customer. Ignore the rude customer completely once the manager shows up. If the manager wants to get abused let them.
>personally I would just walk away or step to the side and help the next customer. Ignore the rude customer completely once the manager shows up. If the manager wants to get abused let them. This is exactly the way, right here. Put the weight on your boss to either back you up by ejecting the unruly patron or dealing with the asshole themselves, because you've finished with them.
^this right here. When I worked at chipotle and someone was being an asshole I would just not react at all and move to the next person. Makes them feel unimportant when they wanted to feel big and powerful.
Sounds like you have a manager problem, and they are fostering this atmosphere of abuse by avoiding any confrontation. I would look for a new job. Remember, people quit bad managers, not jobs.
Management needs to be retrained then. By letting this continue to happen, they are disrespecting you and your coworkers. I would never, ever let any of our patients talk to our employees like that more than once when I was an office manager at a physician's office.
That’s fine. That’s the manager’s job to deal with it. At that point you are removed from it.
It's how you go about it. If you respond with over the top sweetness and say "I'm sorry sir/ma'am, we will pause serving you until you can regain your calm and speak with respect", there isn't a manager who could use that against you. If you really want to piss the customer off, you can sweetly say something along the lines of "I understand it's your naptime and you are cranky sir, but please stop yelling so I can help you!" Show them you are in control of yourself and they can't do anything. Source: working in retail and customer service in person and in call centers.
Do it anyways. You're not a slave.
Then get the manager, every single time.
Just look at them blankly until they stop. Make it awkward. Draw it out. Waste their time.
You can even make rude customers explode by talking reeeeeallyyyyy slooowwwwwly or ^quietly . Because what’s the complaint? That an employee was talking too slowly? Or too quietly? Everyone will look at the rude customer weird.
And then when they finally stop say “can I talk now?” 😂 I’ve hit people with that one a couple times and I have to hold my breath so I don’t cackle out loud
"Excuse me, I can continue to help you once we can move forward civilly". If you get fired for that, it's a blessing in disguise. A manager should be stepping in when this happens. If your manager isn't, they suck at their job.
When I worked retail we made a game of it. You got points for specific phrases you got the customer to say. It was for the most part just for bragging rights but it made those interaction much more fun. My favorite category was alway "You ruined Christmas".
Any customer who calls you names or tells you to stfu should be kicked out. If your manager doesn't back you up on that, find a new job where it doesn't happen
Businesses need to stop catering to people who do this. It should be a one warning to stop, and if they continue, all transactions are stopped, they’re asked to leave, and if they don’t the cops will be called. That’s how it should be, and if it was, you’d see this nonsense stop happening incredibly quick
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If you are actually in love with this job, then learn to deal with shit customers by KILLING WITH KINDNESS. It's a fine line between smug and customer service shit eating grin. Learn to ride that line. The $$ must be awesome. If it's not awesome, and you do not love the job... Don't make excuses, find somewhere else to work.... Clean houses (can earn up $100/hr if you're tenacious enough), use craigslist for easy to find jobs, ask the local library for open positions, got cute feet?? Start an only fans. Literally, you do not have to tolerate toxic jobs. Just don't make excuses. Again, if you love the job, and or make $$$$. Do what feels best.
Personally, I wouldn't be treated like that so I would find a new job. Full stop.
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It's a tough skill to master but there comes a turning point in this practice where acting this way genuinely fills you with happiness as you know that the sorry excuse for a human that's shouting at you is absolutely seething at your reaction, and the first time you see them become enraged, confused, and embarrassed all at the same time, that is perfection...the ability to short circuit some assholes brain with only your kind, chipper words...it's deliciously evil 👌😈
My favorite response is something like “Sir if I’m so unqualified and stupid, why are you coming to me for help?”
"I pay your bills!" "Well, in that case, the power company would like a word, and my car payment is due. When can I expect you to catch up with that?"
No longer in retail, but I did it for 8 years. It gave me some anger issues that I got therapy for. Try to continue with your work but internally narrate the experience like a nature documentary or like you're taking notes on a weird alien species. They're the ones being bizarre, not you. Just separate yourself from the experience if you can, they're not really mad at you, but they're taking it out on you because you're an easy target.
That’s threatening and intimidating behavior. Ask them to leave. If they don’t, call law enforcement and have them trespassed. If you’re reprimanded or fired, sue for wrongful termination and/or a threatening work environment. You have the right to safety. If you don’t feel safe, that’s a problem your employer must address.
"Sorry no one loves you, and you never learned how to love yourself, but this is a Homegoods not therapy. That'll be $172.68"
Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.
Having seen your replies to other suggestions on here, l suggest you have a word with your manager. If they fire you for not accepting abuse then claim unemployment.
Ask your management to justify why you are being forced to sell to people who are personally abusive to you. Give them examples. Ask them how they would feel if you talked to them the way customers talk to you - would they still employ you? When they say it's all to do with money then ask them would they be happy for their daughter to be abused like that just to add a few dollars to turnover. Watch them squirm.
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Its not. Customer service is NOT accepting abuse. The suggestion otherwise is obscene. It is never the front line people that are supposed to take that. It is ALWAYS a manager or supervisor that de-escalates an abusive situation on behalf of the company. "They" are lying to you. Check your employment agreement or job description for responsibility to take abuse. If it's not part of your job, and I can't say this loud enough, STOP DOING IT FOR FREE.
Long moment of silence. “Sorry, say that again?” or “Why are you speaking like that to me?” just respond with utter bafflement that any grown adult would act like this, treat them like a slow demanding child.
Frankly, you should tell them to fuck off and walk away. No job requires people be abused by others. If your employer does not protect you, it’s time for you to find a new job. Stand up for yourself if someone talks poorly to you. Whip out your camera and start to record them, so you can protect yourself and show that it wasn’t you.
Say "I hope you have a day as pleasant as you are. "
I always just keep it on topic. Used to repo furniture. One guy threatened to shoot me next time I knocked on his door. I just asked “so are you going to pay the bill or not?” There was also a guy that called in and cussed one of my other guys out. We missed his delivery date so I called him back and apologized and told him he can’t talk to us that way. When he started going off I reminded him who I was because we had just talked a few days prior face to face. A good way to calm people down is to remind them that you are just a person trying to do a job. They may be upset about a situation but that doesn’t mean they can take it out on you.
I worked selling and financing cars for years and I’ve had so many grown men screaming in my face over “principles” (like a $20 floor may upgrade they feel they deserve for free) that it’s amazing. You take that anger and channel it into stonewalling the absolute shit out them. Cut your answers down and stay consistent. Enjoy watching them throw a temper tantrum. If they threaten legal action completely disengage and say all further communications will be done through the companies legal department as this conversation will be used in court. Don’t let them grind you down.
I asked my own management in the past, and they told me that the way I can turn away a customer that’s acting unreasonably is to say, “I don’t feel comfortable helping you,” and to go get a manager. I’ve never really needed it, but maybe the same can help you. Definitely try to ask a superior for your own protocol, though
What worked for me was telling myself, several times a day until it really stuck, that I outright refuse to allow my emotional well-being be dictated by people like that. I simply refuse to hand over my strings and be a puppet to their anger at the powerlessness they feel over their lives.
My favorite thing to do is just go full monotone and just “okay”, everything until they stop lol. If you stop arguing with them or engaging, most of the time they stop acting like assholes. Either that or just escalate to a manger, let them handle it and walk away.
i always treated them like how my mom treated me when i was throwing a tantrum as a kid. because that’s essentially what it is.
This is when you ask them “who hurt you?” Or “Are you okay?” After looking at them as if they’re crazy
Gaslight them lmao I love it
It’s helpful to give them the look like you don’t care and work a little slower than you were before you were insulted. They insult you for a reaction. Don’t give them the satisfaction. They are expecting you to give in to their demands. If it escalates to something more, then that is above your pay grade and up to your manager to deal with.
If some jackoff was spewing all that vile trash at me, I’d say “i need to go check in the back for it.” Then just leave them hanging for a looong time. In my job we can sick security on people so i just speak really calm then go check on something in the back, call security who stands by or if they hear yelling and curing, escorts them out snd or calls 911. But i work for a hospital. When I do my other home health duty, I go to a patient’s home. If they or their family start yelling, I am known for just standing up and leaving. Last year, this woman’s dad over the phone gave me permission to visit him… then I was greeted by this water buffalo looking tank if a woman- his daughter. The guy was nice, his daughter was instantly a bitch. I went over his health care stuff, took his vital signs and his daughter began screaming at me.. then a pit bull comes into the room and I politely tell her to please secure her dog & she starts fucking kicking the dog. At this point, I grab my work stuff and start making an exit. After beating the dog and kicking it down every few steps until it was down the stairs (i didn’t watch the whole thing) i was walking towards my car as she comes aggressively walking behind me… I was ready to kick the shit out if her if she tried to touch me but it was more aggressive yelling and cursing and i just say “have a nice day.” And as i walk to my car “don’t you turn your fucking back on me!” And i just ignored her and got the fuck out of there… My manager calls me later to ask “what happened?” And I said, the patient was really nice but his adult daughter was physically aggressive, beating the dog, behaving in an intimidating manor to the point that i feared my safety so I left… at least we have a policy where we can do this and the managers can’t really say anything. My coworkers also observed this big large Marge’s angry behavior and they reported them to adult protective services and discharged them for her not complying with the hospital services that were recommended. An other time I just flat out refused to see a patient was a massive sized guy who was a convicted pedophile… i went to see him then HE started talking about it and the children & it was so stomach turning…. I just sent my manager an email of his convictions and said he was not wanting to discuss his health but wants to engage me in talks about his criminal life and what jail was like, etc..
Just laugh , they are expecting you to get angry and feed off that Energy, they’ll be pissed off even more when it isn’t affecting you
Waste your manager’s time. Every time. Make them deal with it. Remind them that you’d gladly refuse service to these jerks yourself, but, hey! rules are rules! Using the same saccharine sweetness you reserve for these customers is optional for that last bit.
Every situation is different, but here are a few things I have done. When I was called a bitch, I immediately stopped engaging. No one gets to name call or use inappropriate language, with me. It is above my pay grade. Go get a manager, and tell them the customer is aggressive and using inappropriate language. When I got called stupid, I apologized, and told the customer my degree was in English literature and Latin, not boxing groceries. That really pissed him off. He went and got a manager and demanded an apology. I said I would apologize again, as soon as he apologized, for calling me stupid. No apologies were given. The one time someone was bad mouthing me in line; I stopped ringing groceries, looked him directly in the eye, and said that’s not a very nice thing to say. My expression was blank and my tone neutral. He immediately apologized. I never seen someone so embarrassed, in my life.
Just remember if you get angry they win, because that is what they want. Keep your cool and you can can try and pretend it’s entertaining. Do not give them what they want.
Speak to them as you would a child in a tantrum. Big smile and condescension. You can get away with a lot that way
Every place I've worked at, once they turn profane, the transaction ends and they are trespassing.
There is little that pisses people throwing a tantrum off more than smiling and completely ignoring their tantrum.
When I worked retail management I used to kick customers out when they treated my employees that way. One day a dude was being a piece of shit and I straight up said "get the fuck out of my store!" And he asked for corporates number and I said "1-800-fuck-you" he looked shocked anyone would talk to him that way. He came back and looked scared to death of me when he would come in, and never said anything to anyone rude. Had another dude come in and say "ooohh...I just got out of prison and you ladies look juicy" about one of my cashiers and about my GM. I just straight up said "nope, you need to go" and called mall security. Managers need to look out for their employees not take this shit from customers and let customers give this shit to employees.
I know alot of people cant afford to do this. But refuse to serve them… and when your manager says something tell them you are not payed to be disrespected and abused. You are here to provide a service…. This wouldn’t fly in a first world country with actual rights for their workers 😉
I’d just find a new job, your mental health is worth more
Whenever I got these (esp. Black friday) would be the only time I'd try pushing a store credit card. Only one black friday karen was enough of an ass to warrent reading the whole credit card pamflet outloud to her.
When customers are rude to me, I just pretend like I don't notice. I think it makes them feel awkward when I act like a normal person instead of returning the same energy
I was a cashier in a grocery store for a while. One time someone came through with a few things they claimed were in a discount cart or something, but the items didn't have discount stickers. I scanned them, they rang in at their usual price, and the customer got mad at the price and me, so I voided the item and called for a price check. Kept scanning while I waited for the return, but a couple items later there was another complaint, then another. I made this person OK the price of every single item. One by one. Scan, is this price OK? Scan, is this price ok? Eventually they got tired of it and just let me do my job without complaint. They had a hundred items. You wanna fight I can fight back. Oh, and those items were *not* in the discount bin.
There is a fine line between rude and disrespectful. If they are rude, having a bad tone, etc. you just need to learn to let it bounce right off you. This comes with maturity and life experience. If there is undeniable disrespect via swearing or name calling, you do not need to take that. Stop engaging with that customer immediately and inform your supervisor you are being verbally abused.
Yeah, no one deserves to be treated like this. Put your managers. If they aren’t doing their job of managing they shouldn’t be there. No job is worth that bullshit.
I tell them to get tf out of my store or they will be trespassed
Laugh and tell them they’re not nearly as good as the last customer who insulted you.
“Ma’am I don’t come to where you work and criticize how you suck a dick…. Lemme do my job.”
Get a manager. In my experience line workers are not paid enough to take that BS. That's why management gets the big bucks
Give ‘em a little chuckle if you REALLY wanna see ‘em flip their lid. Every time I’ve done that I’ve gotten a childish, irate, self-centered reaction. “HE’S LAUGHING AT ME.” Yeah, man and so is everyone else… but, I had a manager who would back me up because I was a good worker. That manager eventually left and I did too because the new one sucked. You can’t let people treat your staff however they want because people WILL and it gets insane. Sorry you’re going through this.
I have found that malicious niceness works both for pissing them off even more, AND putting myself in a better mood. I mean being persistently sickeningly nice, smiling, etc. You can't get in trouble for being nice, and that makes them mad bc they want you to react so they can have something to complain about. In this way, being nice is the absolute worst thing you can do to them. 10x worse than calling them a bitch right back. No hate to anyone who isn't able to achieve this, but I promise.it works in both professional and personal disputes.
“Thank you and have a wonderful day” Just keep saying it
i tell them to leave and don’t entertain it. once i get a gap in the tirade i’ll usually just look them up and down, seriously and sternly and say, “okay, you’re not getting served again. finish up, and then you need to leave.” then i would typically go and get a male team member to wait with me as we both watch them finish whatever they have and ensure they leave because nobody respects women in the service industry.
Just look at them like the child they are and calmly and warmly ask. “You ok?”
Tell them you won't be serving them, and instruct them to leave. If they don't, call the cops.
Just keep telling them to have a nice day
Bless your heart.
This is what management is for.
Say to them that if they can't talk to you without being respectful that you can't help them. Ask them to leave your place of work until they can talk in a respectful manner or hang up the phone. Don't let them get to you, just sad people behaving like children. Mind change.
Do you get paid a premium to argue with idiots? If not just walk away and send in a manager.
What fucking line of work are you in jeez this sounds terrible. Why do you continue to work at this place and degrade yourself? This is a terrible situation and sounds like it’s taking a toll on you I would find a new job as soon as possible. Good luck OP
Take comfort in the fact that you aren't so miserable in life that you need to abuse another person over minor or major inconveniences.
The easiest thing to do for me is just to stare them dead in the eyes and say absolutely nothing. Like, speak the ABSOLUTE bare minimum. People usually wear themselves out if they don’t have something to feed the fire, plus it tends to come off as creepy which is the *best* way to fend off assholes.
I always got super polite and sugary sweet in direct response to their level of bitchy. It drives them nuts and usually hits a point where they look absolutely bat shit crazy to anyone around. It also has the added bonus of giving them nothing they can actually report you for
Stare at them with blank, dead eyes as you fantasize about all the ways you wish you could "handle" them.
When I started getting mad at rude customers, I would get polite. The angrier I got the more polite I became. One guy didn't clue in until I was saying "Sir" at the end of every sentence. He finally clued in and his tone softened considerably.
When they’re just being a Karen, be extra friendly. I always found it quite amusing in what different world these people live. If they’re insulting you, straight up ignore them. There’s a difference between being a pain in the ass and just straight up dehumanizing. You don’t have to let yourself be treated that way.
II remember when I was working in a call center and this one guy that called was just being a tool. I eventually told him that I am not going to deal with his attitude and hung up on him. I told my manager immediately what I did and they reviewed the call. The call was so bad that my manager ended up emailing the company to tell them that we will not be dealing with this individual again if he calls lol
Pretty sure your job isn't to be insulted/ abused so literally get them escorted out the second you feel angry.
Just respond like a robot would. Ignore what they say that isn't relevant to the sale, turn on your fakest, but not scariest, smile and help them so they get out asap.
In any business situation, period, the second a customer or client calls you names or directs personal insults, move it up the line to a manager. Period. Your interaction with them should be done. Period. If management doesnt agree, then they are willingly opening themselves to harassment claims. In that case, get it documented.
Smile and act soo sugary sweet to them that it pisses them off even more. Customer service jobs suck because people suck. Everyone is so entitled these days and think they are the only ones who are right. I'm sorry you have to put up with that nonsense. Been there, done that and unfortunately, I was not the strong person I am now. It really hurt my feelings when people would get upset with me for something that was not my fault. I've grown a backbone and a set of balls now, and I'm getting to an age where I really don't care to put up with a lot of bullshit, so I tend to set people straight now when they come at me for something I didn't do. Hang in there and know that there are many of us behind you who support you and went through the same bullshit.
They got that piss baby energy
Always remember that we all repeat patterns of behaviour that get results and we all basically behave the same way - by default - the way we behaved when we were like 8 or 9 years old. I don't know how much you get paid, but with the examples you're reeling off I'm pretty sure you're in the United States where a lot of people seem to go through life with a stick up their ass. I'm in the UK and if someone is 'kicking off' like that in a shop they get told to knock it off or leave. In my part of London other people in the queue will also intervene and teach them how to speak properly to people. There's zero excuses for abusing retail staff. But back to the point about how much you get paid, I'm prepared to bet your monthly pay cheque that the real issue isn't with you, or even with the store you're working in. The real issue is coming from somewhere else. You're getting it a lot more these days because culture - and culture is the Big Thing which determines how we interact with other people - is becoming more and more mean-spirited. Understand that people will always 'front' or act in ways which is the opposite of that they feel they're most vulnerable about. So if they're coming across all entitled and nasty - because this is nastiness - it's because they don't feel very powerful or respected. You deal with this with empathy and compassion. You look them in the eye and ask them point blank "Okay so what's the real issue here?" Never get involved in their childish mindgames and pointless battles for self-esteem. It's always a case of "Okay I'm listening. What do you want to talk to me about? What are you getting so upset about?" If you confront people directly, with empathy and compassion, nine times out of ten you will get a result. The more you do this the easier it becomes to do this. The more you do this the easier it becomes to deal with others who act like this. Stand your ground, stand firm, and never ever no matter what is said and what they do, give in.
"I think you're too emotional to continue this conversation"
If customers rant and rave at me, I stand there completely silent, blank look on my face. When finished I say "taking all that into consideration, would you like to continue having a conversation like the adults we are, or shall I just leave?". As soon as they start ranting again, I calmly and silently walk away.
Be obnoxiously nice back to them. If they call you stupid, just agree with them and smile. They are hoping to get a negative reaction out of you. Don't give it to them.
Just look past them and say one word. "Next!"
"Are you done?"
Smile and keep on working. Behind that smile just remember that you’re laughing at their silliness. You can’t change others. You can only change how you react to them.
Quit
Bring a small mirror to work. When they reach the front of the line and are starting to complain to you, if they act like assholes then you just hold the mirror up and let them see themselves while saying nothing back. Just stare at them and let them see themselves, it'll either really confuse them b/c like dogs they can't recognize their reflection as themselves and will eventually start fighting with it or they will leave in disgust.
Kill ‘em with kindness and then Hit ‘em with a “I hope your day is as pleasant as you are”
For me, I always just pitied them. Attempting to bully a service worker to feel better about yourself is one of the most pathetic things you can do. I may have been making $9/hour at a thrift store, but at least I hadn't given up on my self-respect, clearly unlike them
I laugh at them as I walk away
Keep in mind the fact that by reacting angrily or defensively, you are giving them what they want. Getting a negative reaction from you reinforces their self-righteous notion that they are somehow above you or deserving of respect while you are not. It's not always possible to disarm them, but there are tactics that sometimes work. Try to imagine them as a 5 year old child having a public tantrum. A benign smile or blank face along with silence OR, if the situation dictates, short phrases like: "I'm sorry to hear that." "Oh, that is frustrating/sad." "Really?! " ...a mild "Oh, okay" "It seems like you're having a bad day. That's tough." Repeat phrases a Kindergarten teacher would say to a volatile student even if they escalate the insults. In an ideal world, other customers, coworkers or managers would swoop in to help deescalate the situation, but if you're on your own, these often do the trick of taking the puff out of their huff and they proceed to having a shitty attitude out the door.
As someone who really struggles with this due to some emotional dysregulation issues, I find that I usually have three options and it depends on the context which one I go with: 1) Escalate. It's not your job to take abuse. If someone is actively trying to provoke you to anger and you feel abused and unsafe, call your supervisor or manager. They SHOULD take over for you, though if your management is ultra shitty they'll throw you to the sharks, and you get to move on to option 2 or 3. 2) Level with them. Take the first chance you can to explain to the customer that you're literally there to help them, that's literally what you're paid to do, and by antagonizing you they're only undermining their own self-interests. This...has a pretty low success rate, and usually means you move to option 3. 3) Laugh at them. When you're at your boiling point and you can tell the anger is about to set in, shift gears and laugh at them. Laugh at them for being childish and spoiled and entitled, and for feeling so small that they have to abuse a service worker to feel in control. THIS MAY GET YOU INTO TROUBLE WITH MANAGEMENT, but it'll probably be LESS trouble than if you had yelled at/assaulted a customer. And of course, the unspoken fourth step is keeping your resume up-to-date and doing whatever you can to get the fuck out of there.
Anyone who would talk to me like that would be out immediately. If they resist I would call the cops. Do not get your hands dirty. If boss does not have your back let them fire you and collect unemployment.
Man at a counter at an airport was harassing the gate agent about trying to get on a flight after his was canceled. She finally said, “you’re really not giving me a lot of reasons to want to help you.” His demeanor changed immediately, and he shut up.
Ideally, you'd have an employer who would allow you to hang up. My previous employer allowed us to hang up after two warnings. I would say things like, "I do not appreciate the profanity. If this keeps up I will have to terminate the call." Chances are your boss is going to want you to feign empathy, and say something along the lines of,"I understand that you are frustrated". One time I had an especially Acerbic customer who I ended up hanging up on. I got written up, even though she started throwing profanity and vitriol from the beginning of the call. I left that job 3 months later
Sometimes I'd choose to kill em with kindness, passive aggressive kindness of course. Saying something along the lines of 'wow i too have woken up on the wrong side of the bed before', 'bless you, controlling our emotions sure is hard huh? My 2yr old nephew struggles just like you' And as they leave loudly saying 'I hope your day gets better' with a shit eating grin on my face
Handling it in the moment is the easy part, all you need to do is smile, nod and wait to finish the transaction. Drives them nuts if you don’t react. The hard part is coping with the PTSD from dealing with it day after day. It’s not worth your mental health, if it bothers you on that level I’d recommend seeking a different occupation or at the very least a therapist to vent to. Edit: you’re also protected from harassment in the workplace (US), this includes harassment from customers and your job may need to accommodate you, especially if any of the reasons they are harassing you fall under protected status ie: age, sex, religion, race, skin color etc
Sounds like management isn't backing you, so get a different job and don't give notice when you leave.
Could always be petty, start moving slower, make deliberate mistakes that require a manager to fix. Lots of ways to be a total ass without saying a word while also doing your job (albeit poorly)
Was always a fan of " I hope your day is as pleasant as you." Little fuck you that they can't really say shit about.
"I'm gonna put you on hold for a moment, please remain on the line."
Grey rock them- it pisses people off when they’re trying to provoke you and that sounds like what these people want.
Video them and post on Tik Tok for money
"Sir, this isn't a Waffle House. We act like civilized people here."
Always had a bit of luck looking at the ass clown and shaking my head, "Looks like SOMEONE here didn't get breast fed as a child. Why else would you be so starved for attention now?"
When they finally leave, tell them "have the day you deserve!"
Stop what you're doing and just stare at them until they calm down, don't say a word just stare at them and wait. They'll either stfu or leave. At least that's how it goes in my experiences.
Someone used a good anecdote when they saw a customer treating me like shit once. They asked if they took a shit on a platter and tried handing it to me would I take it? Of course not. Then they’d look like a dumbass holding a platter of their own shit. Part of them wants to ruin your day. Perfect the creepy smile and dead eye stare and say thank you. Then they’ll be stuck holding onto whatever negativity they tried to put on you.
Refuse service and call the cops for trespassing if they don’t leave.
Gray rocking. "You're a bitch" -"ok"
Say things like Thank you and That's nice. And maybe follow up with a fake anecdote like Yeah I just got done crying the back before walking out here. Etc. That kind of stuff where you cave a little throws them off and deadpanning a follow up confuses them even further.
Where’s your boss at, I worked in food service for fifteen years, I only made it that long cause my boss wouldn’t tolerate asshole customers
Lol I get all of that. My personal favourite is “useless high school drop out.” Bitch I have 2 degrees believe me those pieces of paper are way more useless than I have ever been.
Quit!!!!
I struggle with this all the time. I don’t take abuse from customers. Job on the line or not, I simply won’t do it and will walk away if I have to.
Grey rock the shit out of any customer attempting to get a rise out of you
Honestly, they look like fucking unhinged idiots, and 99% of the people in the store witnessing this think so too. Just do the basics of your job when it comes to them, and ignore their childish antics as best you can. No need to be extra nice or accommodating. Nothing will make these people happy except you prostrating yourself as a lowly serf.
Imagine that someone you admire (an idol, singer, sportsman, etc. is watching you). How would you behave in their presence? Make them proud.
Ban them from the store? Hard to look important and talk shit when you realize you're no longer allowed to ever return to a place you may need.
Had to work at a group home where clients would become verbally and physically abusive on the regular. Keep physical distance and take ANY action necessary to defend yourself from physical attacks. But verbal attacks, treat them like the wind. Let them flow past you without a care. Learn what your triggers are, so that if you feel yourself getting mad or afraid you can be proactive in getting the hell out of there. If they start raising their voice, don’t be afraid to nudge them into talking to your manager instead, or giving them a break to calm down. “I can see you’re getting upset, I understand your frustration with this!” Empathize so you’re on their side. Then: “Let me step away for a moment to look into this for you, I’ll be right back” or “Perhaps this is worth escalating to my boss, would you like me to call them over”?
Walk away and refuse to help them until they can behave and speak like an adult, and treat you with respect and common decency.
Honestly they want to get a reaction out of you. Give them NOTHING.
Try to distance yourself from the encounter. Make yourself a bingo card with all those nasty remarks such as “I’m paying your salary” and “in my day cashiers were a lot smarter” and see how many boxes you can tick. Root for their predictable nastiness. Turn their bullying into a game where you’re always the winner.
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You have any big friends who could just wait in your store for someone to abuse you and then jump them outside? /s
Kill them with kindness and pretend they just gave you a compliment. It's important to do it with a smile and to end the conversation in a pleasant manner before you address their issue, if you're able to. "Jesus! Is everyone in the store lazy? How about you? Are too lazy to help?" "Thank you ma'am! I do work quite hard and getting recognition from customers like you makes a world of difference! You have a nice day too!" Then walk away. Assholes and Karen's HATE that because they get absolutely nothing they hoped for. No satisfaction from rustling your jimmies. No help in resolving their issue. No way to complain if you're good at faking sincerity. I've had a Karen try to complain when I've done this. The recording had her being a complete knob to me and me respectfully replying with kindness and then disengaging with her. Manager asked if I heard her and I said yes but I must have misheard her attacks as something more polite and just shrugged while looking confused. It's a super difficult position to put the douche customer and your manager in and it's a real treat to see them squirm figuring out what to do or being forced to deal with the Karen themselves instead of using me as a shield.
Verbal abuse, even if perpetrated by customers, falls under the hostile work environment prohibition in federal law. Document the abuse and report it. Make sure the incident cannot be ignored. The business could be held liable for any damages arising from these cases if they fail to remedy the situation.
Quote Squidward in your best squidward impersonation. “Are you planning on ordering today sir?” “We serve food here sir.” “I hate all of you.” “PLeAsE….CoMe AgaIn…..when I’m not working.” “DROWN IN IT!” “I’ve seen more alert people in a retirement home.” “Well, I’ll do it, but I won’t like it.” “Hello. You’ve reached the house of unrecognized talent.” “I didn’t realize it was happy hopping moron day.” Well you get the idea hahahaha
Thank them for their business and move on. If you match angry for anger you'll end up looking for another job.
Just kill them with kindness. “I’m so sorry you feel that way, but I’m doing everything I can. I hope your day gets better!”
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I punch them in the face repeatedly until I get taken away by the police. That way, I get fed and housed by the system and don't need my shit job, and that asshole learned a valuable lesson about treating front line emoyees with respect.... if they ever wake up from that coma. /s
1. Be positive and happy dealing with these angry customers. Go overboard with it. For every angry customer that your not defended with by the supervisor contact HR about this workplace harassment. Also start looking for another job. (Yes I know HR bad and will protect the company, but we want them to do their job in this case and it starts a paper trail on the company's end, also don't be afraid to jump up the chain by complaining to a higher up manager) 2. Document everytime this happens date/time/location. The company has cameras and will be recording. Also check out your state/country laws on recording people. If legal record every angry customer you can with in reason(HIPPA may apply). Document EVERYTHING you can. 3. Contact EEOC(or equivalent), as at this point from the way you describe the situation is at a form of illegal harassment, contact a lawyer as well and show them the mountain of documents and possible recordings. If you have enough documentation the lawyer will smell an easy win and payday and might go Pro Bono. Obligatory disclaimer I'm not a lawyer and this isn't legal advice but my own way of dealing with this situation to effect the best possible outcome and maybe make a little scratch along the way. I hope everything works out and you can leave or at least get a better working environment. Edit: wrote this one phone so the formatting is messed up.
"As noted, order number 743, thinks I'm a stupid bi....can you spell that for me please? Oh wonderful. Silent T. I just want the other witnesses, I mean customers, to know that I am indeed what this person says. I will make sure that this is noted on my personal record, as well as my taxes. - looks at receipt for name from debit card- Now Mr Loose Duke, how else might I serve you?"
I too hate the childcare industry.
You need to start interviewing at different pharmacies and switch jobs. This is an environment enabled by the manager and not every place is like that. I will say that people can be irate when they are in pain or spending a lot on prescriptions, but that doesn’t mean you have to take it on the chin. When you are ready to leave, reach out to HR and document the hostile work environment and how your manager put your job at risk contributing to repeat customers escalating their nasty behavior. I know HR is there to protect the company but it at least gives them the chance to correct it for anyone else who chooses to stay or replaces you. Lastly I’ll say consider a different career and what it would take to get you started in it. Since you are young now is not the time to settle for a paycheck but really think about what you want out of life and how your job either hinders you or contributes to it.
"Kill" their attitude with cheerful stupidity. Feign dumb. Be as bright as able without emisis.
It looks like you’re shutting down every idea in here, saying you have no choice in it. You can’t refuse service. You can’t tell the customer no. Your manager won’t do anything… Well, it seems you know the answer. If it were me, I’d start looking for another job and leave. I’d also would refuse to serve customers who cursed at me and give my manager the ultimatum to either do it themselves or I kick out the customer. You should grow a spine and stick up for yourself.
I'd always be the troll with assholes like this. Always be nice and smile. Do your job and try to sell them shit or whatever you do but pay close attention to what is making them get more pissed off and continue to push that button. Act nice and friendly the entire time and just keep pushing that button until they make an ass out of themselves lmao Refusing to give them the reaction they are looking for while at the same time feeding into their anger in a friendly and professional manner. Also when they get to the point of rage quitting and storming out hit em with the ol' "HAVE A NICE DAY SIR! :)" just the shit cherry on top and you can always tell they hate it.
There's a book called Nonviolent Communication and it helped me a lot with this. It's also worth doing a google search for verbal de escalation techniques. I worked customer service for a cellphone company and customers can be really nasty. We can't change how others communicate but we can change how we respond.
I learned what people hate most is apathy. Think about it if you are delighted or made angered by a person it shows some level of thought about the individual. To be apathetic is worse than hatred it means you think nothing of them. People can not stand being seen as nothing. These people are coming in to pay you for a service provide the service and end interaction. They don’t pay you to give them any emotion so don’t give it. I know this might be a struggle cause it may feel you are attacked by these people sometimes, but they seriously are not worth your time or emotion. Enough time and mindfulness and you will be able to control most your interactions.
I just chuckle at whatever they’re saying and then act super polite and helpful while doing the absolute bare minimum for them
Time to go full Waffle House.
Look at them with pity the whole time and tell them you hope they have a better day