I've always hated that question too. Work is a boring thing I do 40 hours a week so I can sleep indoors, don't make me think about that shit when I'm off the clock.
It's also usually a prying question, people trying to figure out what kind of person you are and how much discretionary income you have.
I'm pretty anti-social, but I swore the next person that asked me this, I was going to respond, "I don't really like to talk about it.....it makes people uncomfortable".....just to see the reaction.
Nine times out of ten, people who don't know you ask this question so they can decide how much or how little respect they can get away with not giving you.
I was wondering if I was crazy for thinking that. My husband said to just start saying “I don’t work” to avoid the conversation, but I felt like I’d be less respected and possibly have my concerns ignored. It feels like a trick question!
Might not be the same at all, but my OB was very concerned about me working retail being on my feet all day and lifting boxes, so it was very relevant to my condition. It doesn’t sound like that though. Also it’s slightly awkward to answer a highly paid professional you are a SAHM, they’ll probably just say “lucky” which irks me.
LOL! As a nurse who works in a hospital, the opposite is also true. Patients very often ask me:
* Are you married?
* Any kids?
* Do you believe in God?
* Why did you chose nursing?
* What doesn't your badge give your last name? (very creepy)
I (we) generally have stock answers (sometimes fabricated) to such questions. We know that many procedures are scary and many of the SICU patients are circling the drain. They want to ground themselves with a human connection.
This is one of the dumbest aspects of American culture, and it’s because this country has brainwashed people into thinking that their careers are part of their personality.
I may start lying. I'm a veterinarian, which means everyone wants to 1) ask free advice 2) tell me some random story their neighbors sisters cousin had 20 years ago or 3) bash vets. My l&d nurse the first time was awesome. She asked if I remembered her dog, she reminded me and I did, and didn't say one more word about it. I did however have a clients sister approach me in the nicu like 2 hours after delivery (it was pre term). The worst for me was probably the nurse prepping me for my colonoscopy... who went on a whole rant because a rescue picked up her "lost" dogs, contacted her, she said she didn't want them. But how DARE they judge her as if she didn't care about them. All the complaints about costs (that I don't control) from people I KNOW make more money than me... I'm just tired. I work in insurance sales now.
I always say I'm in "Waste Management" it's really the perfect thing to say because nobody really questions it. I'm actually a certified job hopper and I go wherever the wages are the highest.
Capitalism ties a working class person's value/worth to the work they do. People have been trained to immediately gauge how much they should respect you based on what you do for work. It's not a benign question.
A buddy of mine went on holiday to Jamaica last month. Over a drink when he returned he said; the entire place was riddled with Americans that would walk up to you and before even shaking a hand exclaim;
"Hi I'm blah blah, I run blah company, own a ranch in blah and have published three books on blah-ing your blah."
He said they always got awkward and swiftly shuffled off when he would respond with;
"Hi, I'm Kevin and this is my wife Marie, nice to meet you."
Americans are both; more generally extroverted and fold their job into their personal identity. Plus...we all gotta work I suppose, what with the damn price of cheese these days so we all have that in common.
But your job IS A HUGE PART of who you are. You spend most of your life doing it.
You are a researcher. Just say that.
I lie. I tell ppl anything other than I'm a nurse. They just show me injuries and rashes.
Being a researcher is a hugely revealing piece of information about who you are.
Asking your job Is part of the Bs questions and Bs small talk. The staff wanted to say
"Shhhh let's get this baby out of you but I'm not interested in you on the slightest"
Did they also ask "is it a boy or a girl"
"Oh that's a nice name"
"Is this your first"
Blah blah blah.
A job is not a huge part of who you are on the basis of time dedicated to it. Most people work their job because they have to, not because it matters to them.
People are conditioned to ask this question for social status, not because they want to know who you are.
Right? And I’ve worked in many industries, and have two jobs in separate industries right now to make ends meet. One of my jobs is at a grocery store (needed the discount on food lol). I wouldn’t say stocking cans of beans is a huge part of who I am. It’s just something I do to put a roof over my head.
You're confusing who you want to be or think you are other than who you actually are.
If you spend the vast majority of your existence doing something you're embarrassed to admit that's a big indicator of who you are.
A job is absolutely a big part of who you are, you cannot do something 40+ hours a week and it not shape you as a person. Being ashamed of or not caring about your job is being ashamed of or not caring about yourself. We are defined as much by what we do as what we don't do.
You should care about your job because you spend most of your waking hours doing it. If you don't care about that, you don't care about a big portion of your own life.
If you are a health care provider sometimes you DO need to know something about a persons work. A nicer way to ask is - what’s your workday like, followed by the questions you really need answered. Is it a desk job or are you on your feet? Are you exposed to any type of chemicals or other risks that you know of? Is your workplace stressful? Are you able to take time off when you are sick or injured? Or having a baby… staff wants to know if you will be able to take adequate time to heal, if you will need workplace accommodations for any physical restrictions after childbirth/c section, will you need advice on advocating for your right to breastfeed at work?
Or they are just trying to make small talk and don’t care to put any effort into it
I always ask “what do you do with your days” instead- leaves it way more open. I meet a lot of people who are unemployed so I don’t want to assume people work, or make that a defining part of their identity
I've always hated that question too. Work is a boring thing I do 40 hours a week so I can sleep indoors, don't make me think about that shit when I'm off the clock. It's also usually a prying question, people trying to figure out what kind of person you are and how much discretionary income you have.
I trade hours for dollars
I'm pretty anti-social, but I swore the next person that asked me this, I was going to respond, "I don't really like to talk about it.....it makes people uncomfortable".....just to see the reaction.
"What do you do for work?" "As little as possible."
Not gonna lie, I would much rather hear about someone’s job rather than their kids. At least the job might be remotely interesting.
That is super standard small talk. They really don't care what your job is. They were trying to distract you from the pain.
Nine times out of ten, people who don't know you ask this question so they can decide how much or how little respect they can get away with not giving you.
I was wondering if I was crazy for thinking that. My husband said to just start saying “I don’t work” to avoid the conversation, but I felt like I’d be less respected and possibly have my concerns ignored. It feels like a trick question!
"Medical research" in a clinical setting seems like a way to get more
Might not be the same at all, but my OB was very concerned about me working retail being on my feet all day and lifting boxes, so it was very relevant to my condition. It doesn’t sound like that though. Also it’s slightly awkward to answer a highly paid professional you are a SAHM, they’ll probably just say “lucky” which irks me.
LOL! As a nurse who works in a hospital, the opposite is also true. Patients very often ask me: * Are you married? * Any kids? * Do you believe in God? * Why did you chose nursing? * What doesn't your badge give your last name? (very creepy) I (we) generally have stock answers (sometimes fabricated) to such questions. We know that many procedures are scary and many of the SICU patients are circling the drain. They want to ground themselves with a human connection.
This is one of the dumbest aspects of American culture, and it’s because this country has brainwashed people into thinking that their careers are part of their personality.
I may start lying. I'm a veterinarian, which means everyone wants to 1) ask free advice 2) tell me some random story their neighbors sisters cousin had 20 years ago or 3) bash vets. My l&d nurse the first time was awesome. She asked if I remembered her dog, she reminded me and I did, and didn't say one more word about it. I did however have a clients sister approach me in the nicu like 2 hours after delivery (it was pre term). The worst for me was probably the nurse prepping me for my colonoscopy... who went on a whole rant because a rescue picked up her "lost" dogs, contacted her, she said she didn't want them. But how DARE they judge her as if she didn't care about them. All the complaints about costs (that I don't control) from people I KNOW make more money than me... I'm just tired. I work in insurance sales now.
I always say I'm in "Waste Management" it's really the perfect thing to say because nobody really questions it. I'm actually a certified job hopper and I go wherever the wages are the highest.
Capitalism ties a working class person's value/worth to the work they do. People have been trained to immediately gauge how much they should respect you based on what you do for work. It's not a benign question.
Just say it’s confidential and you cannot speak about your work to the public.
Most people where I’m from don’t even say “what do you do for work?” They just say “what do you do?” like our work defines our entire existence.
A buddy of mine went on holiday to Jamaica last month. Over a drink when he returned he said; the entire place was riddled with Americans that would walk up to you and before even shaking a hand exclaim; "Hi I'm blah blah, I run blah company, own a ranch in blah and have published three books on blah-ing your blah." He said they always got awkward and swiftly shuffled off when he would respond with; "Hi, I'm Kevin and this is my wife Marie, nice to meet you." Americans are both; more generally extroverted and fold their job into their personal identity. Plus...we all gotta work I suppose, what with the damn price of cheese these days so we all have that in common.
It’s just a normal part of small talk.
What would you rather they ask lol. They need to keep your mind occupied
But your job IS A HUGE PART of who you are. You spend most of your life doing it. You are a researcher. Just say that. I lie. I tell ppl anything other than I'm a nurse. They just show me injuries and rashes. Being a researcher is a hugely revealing piece of information about who you are. Asking your job Is part of the Bs questions and Bs small talk. The staff wanted to say "Shhhh let's get this baby out of you but I'm not interested in you on the slightest" Did they also ask "is it a boy or a girl" "Oh that's a nice name" "Is this your first" Blah blah blah.
A job is not a huge part of who you are on the basis of time dedicated to it. Most people work their job because they have to, not because it matters to them. People are conditioned to ask this question for social status, not because they want to know who you are.
Right? And I’ve worked in many industries, and have two jobs in separate industries right now to make ends meet. One of my jobs is at a grocery store (needed the discount on food lol). I wouldn’t say stocking cans of beans is a huge part of who I am. It’s just something I do to put a roof over my head.
You're confusing who you want to be or think you are other than who you actually are. If you spend the vast majority of your existence doing something you're embarrassed to admit that's a big indicator of who you are.
A job is absolutely a big part of who you are, you cannot do something 40+ hours a week and it not shape you as a person. Being ashamed of or not caring about your job is being ashamed of or not caring about yourself. We are defined as much by what we do as what we don't do.
Why should I care about my job? I’m just there to make a paycheck.
You should care about your job because you spend most of your waking hours doing it. If you don't care about that, you don't care about a big portion of your own life.
Like I said, I only work for the money.
Ok, I wish you well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmgHAT7IdDQ
I ask people "What do you do in life?" and let them decide what's important to them
"What do you do for/at work?" "As little as possible."
If you are a health care provider sometimes you DO need to know something about a persons work. A nicer way to ask is - what’s your workday like, followed by the questions you really need answered. Is it a desk job or are you on your feet? Are you exposed to any type of chemicals or other risks that you know of? Is your workplace stressful? Are you able to take time off when you are sick or injured? Or having a baby… staff wants to know if you will be able to take adequate time to heal, if you will need workplace accommodations for any physical restrictions after childbirth/c section, will you need advice on advocating for your right to breastfeed at work? Or they are just trying to make small talk and don’t care to put any effort into it
I always ask “what do you do with your days” instead- leaves it way more open. I meet a lot of people who are unemployed so I don’t want to assume people work, or make that a defining part of their identity
I'm an artist. Everything I do is through my sense of art and creativity, regardless of what the job actually is.
I hate how the answer seems to determine your value. Because for some reason how I pay my bills determines everything about me.