T O P

  • By -

fshannon3

Just push all 3 pieces back together, wrap some Flex Tape around the trunk to keep it all together, and it'll be as good as new in no time!


tachycardicIVu

![gif](giphy|fADf4RUs3hUFvHz18o|downsized)


MLCarter1976

Seems like a boat with that wood could be an option!


tachycardicIVu

Good news, we got wood to make boats!


Leading-Court320

Three boats…


DeluxeWafer

This is my favorite gif to throw i to random subs.


tachycardicIVu

It’s so versatile and can be used in a variety of situations Am I talking about the gif or flex tape? We’ll never know…


DeluxeWafer

Wait til you learn one of them comes in brushable liquid form.


fat-lip-lover

FLEXSEAL


mrootbeers

It’s literally still leaking after. 😂


leggmann

You forgot to finish with a slap and declaration of ‘that’s not going anywhere’


LETTERKENNYvsSPENNY

Crucial missed step, too. Guaranteed to split again at that point.


TheJohnson854

Yup, forgot to note the wood glue.


SerenityPickles

Gorillas wood glue


GrittyMcGrittyface

Titebond 3


Pete_C137

The incantation


Howard_Scott_Warshaw

Can only make that statement when using ratchet straps. Tie it town, tug on the strap, declare "that ain't goin anywhere".


Acceptable-Young-619

Again it seems like people are split on their recommendations…


DaHick

This is a punderappreciated comment.


Ill_Newt1499

No that won’t work, you need to use duck tape


Snippys

super glue and duct tape is the correct answer.


polishpolak

ramen super glue and duct tape


dontfluffmytutu

I was thinking some wood glue


moofishes

Should I romance the wood-chucks first? Let them in my garden, mulberry trees? It's hot out. Ice-skating?


TX_spacegeek

Actually, you need to break out the epoxy for this one.


moofishes

Gorilla tape. Epoxy. Fiber-glass. Cyanoacrylate. Blood and starch. Layer many in no specific order as you would a lasagna. Spices, ricotta, well-wishes, hopes and sweet-dreams. I'm forgetting some key ingredients... ymmv


hippiegodfather

The funny part is if it was actually possible to do that, there is a chance it would work. Trees can be astonishingly resilient


ecclectic

If it was a poplar, you could probably just leave it as is and it would start growing in the spring.


Alleandros

I think this is when they use concrete. Just encase the entire thing in concrete and then it'd be Schroedinger's tree.


BaconCheeseBurger

JB Weld


GuavaOdd1975

Bailing wire. It has worked for decades.


UGunnaEatThatPickle

This is actually true. This tree has plenty of wire supports to preserve it and is a marvel to see! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comfort_Maple


tinlizzie67

Baling twine and duct tape. My barn runs on that shit, that and the occasional use of vet wrap and you can fix most anything.


Lava-Chicken

Don't forget to sprinkle cinnamon to prevent infections.


claymcg90

Dude, you didn't mention the most important part. After taping, you *must* slap the side of the tree and say "yeah, she's not going anywhere."


HoldenMcNeil420

Could you actually ratchet this back together and would it heal?


toxcrusadr

We can't see the top so we don't know if it's even alive. Assuming it is, there are other complications. There's rot at the point where the branches joined together. Probably hastened the split. Also the long vertical splits are not at branch connections where there are reaction collars that will grow over a wound. And even if it did heal up it would basically be only right under the bark. The inner wood is not going to grow or heal. It's doomed. Not an arborist though.


Redfro33

If it's still green at the ends it's possible it could still feed and just be a cool tree as positioned.


toxcrusadr

True. It would start growing upward from the ends. I was thinking a raised deck in the middle or a gazebo would be cool.


Eggsplane

It would look beautiful with a native plant garden around it, with organic mulch out past the branches, colorful native plants, and a few benches and pathways (that are placed carefully for safety reasons). It'd be like having your own botanical garden.


riverlethedrinker

BILLY MAYS HERE


RoNsAuR

JB weld and chewing gum?


Kellythejellyman

To show you the power of flex tape……


Euphoric-Blue-59

This guy flexes but does not know this is a job for duct tape.


nigori

Some wood glue in the middle and that baby ain’t goin nowhere


Bardwelling

I second Flex Tape, but make sure it's the wide kind, saves you some laps.


3Huskiesinasuit

Whats funny about this, in my eyes, is that in theory, something like that could actually work, if done quick enough after the split.


dbhathcock

Flex tape won’t hold it. OP will need to use nylon zip ties.


TripleFreeErr

That’s actually a Stranger Things mind flayer.


SocialAnchovy

![gif](giphy|fTs2BdzhDetPwvy3BE|downsized)


thefarmworks

😵😣🫣


Khaldara

It’s an Ent the morning after a successful Timbr hookup


blammergeier

> Timbr [Very close!](https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/cx63n5/i_wood_split_it_too/)


i_Love_Gyros

Phloem? I just met ‘em


victorian_vigilante

r/nsfwplants


drmehmetoz

Stranger things spoiler: >!this tree is what Max’s limbs looked like after the season 4 finale!<


[deleted]

[удалено]


DontDieKenny

And don’t forget to mulch it, but expose the root flare and then remove the mulch because why would you mulch and hey put that mulch back


[deleted]

[удалено]


captain_brunch_

You need to donut the root collar into a volcanoe.


princessfoxglove

I've never seen this sub before but this is the kind of tomfoolery I live for.


ruum-502

This comment is clearly a joke because it didn’t once mention root flare


Ordinary_Option1453

I see no mention of girdling roots 🤔


MisterMisterYeeeesss

I love girdled roots. A little garlic, thyme, and basil in some olive oil...tastes delic- wait...


No_Classroom448

![gif](giphy|9fBAJu8PJMV4Q|downsized)


-Rano

How did that happen?


DarkMuret

Overfertilized


-Rano

Isn't it sunburn?


pegothejerk

No one peed on it


ImOnlySuperHuman

Looks like a weak union at the top of the split where there was most likely a cavity with included bark that filled with dirt and debris causing a weak point. Seems like it was just a matter of time before it split


Eggsplane

> a cavity with included bark that filled with dirt and debris and retained moisture, which led to rot


Plastic_Code5022

As always, moisture is the real culprit.


Away_Sea_8620

So this could have just happened without human intervention???? Trees are so fascinating!


mahdicktoobig

Is it possible this would keep growing as is?


Eggsplane

Yes, as long as the roots and vasculature system (cambium layer known as xylem and phloem) stay intact. The cambium is located in a thin layer just under the bark, followed by a layer of still living sapwood, and then the center is made up of dead wood called heartwood. Now the heartwood is exposed, so that will rot and eventually expose the sapwood and cambium. This does shorten the tree's life, but because they often live such a long time, it could still live for years or even decades. Examples I just found on reddit: [This fallen tree is just growing differently.](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/2iva2f/this_fallen_tree_is_just_growing_differently/) [This fallen tree has kept growing](https://old.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/8rm4rj/this_fallen_tree_has_kept_growing/) Plus, the rotting heartwood becomes a home for wildlife, so it could "live on" in that way. Its why forest management often means leaving standing deadwood, known as snags, provided they're not a risk to anyone or anything.


SherpaForCardinals

only Jesus can save that tree


Downtown-Contestant

Do we have the same landscaper?


cdanl2

Jesús Savés, best in the business.


toxcrusadr

For some reason this reminds me of a (clearly fake) name I saw on an asbestos worker certification form once: Genesis Casanova.


cdanl2

Génesis Casanova is now that name I’m using for my Elden Ring DLC character


Major_Melon

Idk, he is a carpenter. He can turn it into a lovely table set.


toxcrusadr

All depends on how you define 'save'.


Obscuriosly

The Romans could probably make use of the tree if he can't save it.


Brilliant_Job_1750

It's a spider now. Leave it be


Eggsplane

Seriously though. It looks cool and standing deadwood is excellent for wildlife.


DASreddituser

Yer a spida trairy!


stankenfurter

This made me laugh unreasonably long


rosco2155

Spider-tree, spider-tree Does whatever a spider-tree does Can it swing from a web Not it can’t, it’s a tree


plasmaexchange

My first thought was it had mutated into its final boss form.


JackOfAllTradesKinda

Banana for scale if I've ever seen one, but I would have preferred it not been peeled.


Maximum-Warning9355

It just needs Tree Medicine!


Poat540

Just some straps and tree medicine, good to go


oldsoulrevival

That tree has been split in twine!!


cdanl2

In thrine, even


cam3113

To shreds you say?


ThanksForTheRain

And how's his wife holding up?


R4bbitR4bbit

🥰🥰


albionnoria

Someone needs to put an arrow right in the middle of the tree


exasperatedoptimist

It's been trisected.


95castles

Not enough root flair


12345-password

I picture some people here beating the owners red Corvette with a baseball bat yelling. "This is what happens when you don't expose the root flare!"


MamaFen

You just made ms snort cold coffee out my nose. Dammit. You are entering a world of pain.


NewAlexandria

real answer: if the phloem did not break , then most of these will probably survive if left untouched. Anything that doesn't have a clean channel of water/nutrients from the soil should be cut.


queen__frostine

Thank you for providing a serious answer. All the piling on is getting annoying.


MetalIT

Since this is outside make sure you use Type 3 Titebond before you bungee it back together!


Best-Foundation2562

what happened though??


Eggsplane

-Rano asked the same and ImOnlySuperHuman answered. Here's a link to the convo. https://old.reddit.com/r/arborists/comments/1dl739h/can_this_tree_be_saved/l9mvouw/


Mutagon7e

Looks like it's in a public space. I'm wondering if the tree can be left as-is as a landscape feature. Don't have to worry about it falling on anything now. Kids and kids-at-heart will love climbing on it.


belro

It's honestly pretty cool looking I'd love to climb that bad boy


Sudden_Duck_4176

I’d put something in the center of it like it was buried in the middle of the tree and is now free.


TheAnsweringMachine

Wich one, the one on the left, middle or right?


h4nd

can't see the root flare. do you have any other pics?


nserious_sloth

The rest of the comments said some really interesting things what I'm interested in though is how the f*** did that happen


Iowannabe563

My neighbor's tree looks just like this one would have pre-split. You can see the rot in the same place where it's dark on that one. It sheds chunks and wood chips and the center branch already fell in an ice storm. It's right next to the property line and would take out more thanhalf of my house if it were to split. Podunk local tree service came out last year and drilled hooks in it for wires that hold it all together near the top. I was kind of hoping it wold take out my house (when no one's home) so I could start over lol.


xBlyzx

That actually looks pretty cool how did that happen


mizushimo

Time to build that wheel chair accessible tree house you always wanted.


chris84126

It looks like art


Quixophilic

That mf blew up like a cartoon musket!


Professional_Gap_371

It can be shaved.. into a nice mantel


Irontoes

Absolutely, that's a front yard tree. I'd park my car under that in a hurricane.


xenawarriorfrycook

Uh oh whoops I just posted a broken tree on my street and I feel personally called out by this post lol


B4riel

Would it be possible to use a Crane, pull 2 sections together drill and place some 3/4 stainless rod with large plates….repeat process with final section?


No-Surround-1159

Yes. I did something similar with a 25 foot umbrella tree that split into three. Heavily pruned the canopy to lighten it. Cinched the trunk pieces into place. Bolted two rods with big washers through the tree to secure the trunk together. Tree thrived and survived until the entire tree blew over in a storm. Had to warn the tree removal people about the bolts because they were no longer visible from the outside.


LongLegsBrokenToes

Put a giant statue of a lighting bolt above it


Intrepid-Alfalfa-581

Ultimate tree fort


ParthFerengi

I’m no arborist, but it looks like each section looks like it’s got plenty of bark and is still connected to the root system. If the split wasn’t fatally stressful, I think there’s a chance this could recover and end up looking super weird and badass.


Conscious-Jello99

It can be saved. If you don't start cutting the branches. From what I see, the roots are still intact.


FluffyPause5195

What do you mean fix it? Now you have several more trees than you had before.


mydogspaw

We had lighting strike a tree in our yard and take out a 20 ft slab off the side 15 years ago. The pair of trees we had were so big and old, they meant a lot to us. So we tried painting like a tar/rubber over the exposed inner wood. It still lives! Dont know if it actually did anything but in theory it prevents mold growing or bugs getting into the underbark.


Conspicuous_Ruse

Bark is still connected. You now have three trees.


kit_olly_sixsmith

Man I'd love to see a picture of the tree before this happened. That sucks


mattlag

r/arboristscirclejerk is leaking again


TheMightyShoe

There is a tree in Georgia like this. It was left alone, and now a new tree is growing from the middle. And it's growing like crazy because of the massive root system supprting it.


Former-Alarm-2977

Aside from trying to be funny, this is really amazing and very sad though the rot must have been obvious from what looks like a topped tree at one time


Death2mandatory

Sadly the answer is still yes.....


Sonora3401

Put some dirt in the middle and plant a sapling


Parking-Fly5611

That's not a tree, it's a century wood plant starting to bloom


LordByrum

What in the cartoon hell


Dominuss476

Yes, clone it.


WelderMeltingthings

a ratchet strap and a heavy watering


theoddfind

This is normal for this tree. It's called a Black Talon Tree. Tree surgeons hate them.


Turbulent-Watch2306

You can save it if you like, but just not as a tree


_SpaceGator

Nope trees are not accepted by Jesus it's in the Bible sorry


Ignorantmallard

I'm honestly wondering how it would die off from here. Not if, but how. If you kept mowing under the arches and stuff or left the area completely untouched even and let it dry out and become snag


Icy_Topic_5274

Looks like a great place for kids to play. Turn it into a treehouse


igneousink

what the heck happened to this magnificent specimen of a tree


Satanic-mechanic_666

Don’t touch anything and it may just survive as is. 


Fudge-Purple

You can save it as a sculpture or furniture


Leading_List7110

Life finds a way


Active_Club3487

No. But it can be photographed


l0stmarblez

The fuck happened to that thing? Lightning?


itmesara

Why isn’t there a r/arboristscirclejerk yet? Edit: apparently there is, but no posts.


Illustrious_Soft_257

Yes. Completely cover it with dirt and it will turn onto a root bed 🛌.


twizrob

Yes take a cutting from it. put it in water with a piece of willow bark when it roots up plant it and wait 60years me


liamanna

Leave it. But a tree house on top with cool entrance from every direction 🤔


Unipiggy

That looks dope asf I'd just trim it up a bit and leave it honestly LOL


Unwitnessed

Just work on nurturing the shoots that come up near the base of the trunk. It'll be fine...


MiketheOlder

I’d leave as is. It’s bitchin


Exotic_Pay6994

i bet if you don't do anything, a new one will grow, thing probably has a root system of a city block.


Missue-35

It’s a sculpture now. A self-made sculpture.


SUNDER137

Short answer: No. Long answer: Yes, You could use a cutting from one of the upper limbs and clone the tree.


ComfortablyNumbest

define "saved". Even firewood has it's use. or furniture/fixture. All sorts of 2nd lives exist for wood.


aspannerdarkly

Imagine the noise that made


Apprehensive-Bug7200

Depending on what sort of tree it is, it could still grow new branches. If the branches touch the ground, it could form a new cirkel of trees. This is a normal cycle of tree life that we just don’t get to see anymore. If you don’t want it to rot too fast, apply Trichoderma.


Meeto_

Leave it for the insects


Remnatar

Dawg what happened to that tree 💀


Crosseyed_owl

I'm here for the first time, this is some insider joke, right? 😅


Valuable_Talk_1978

Some big ass cable ties?


Bardwelling

Perfect failure. I want to see inside. there's a ball of soil 3ft wide, not that it was the reason for failure. nobody ever seems to consider removing all of the decayed muck out of branch joints as standard arboriculture.


THE_HORKOS

There’s a ln Osage Orange tree in a park near by that was hit by lightning and burned for a half a day. But, it survived. So I guess it’s possible. As long as the root/bark are intact.


Ok-Internet2541

Get one of those 12 skeleton's and a big axe. Dress him in suspenders high heels and a bra. And play I'm a Lumber jack and I'm OK on a loop.


Cranky_Katz

Just leave it alone, there will be new shoots coming up from the base. The branches resting on the ground might put out roots after a few years.


Rojoroot

It’s a shape shifting tree / spider


No_Buffalo8603

Yep. Just buck it up for wood stove fuel, and you're saving a bundle!


Sid15666

Absolutely it will reward you with heat for a cold winter night!


BetterFirefighter652

Duct tape In an episode of Clarkson's farm they did a hedge row contest. I was shocked how little of a tree needed to be intact to keep it alive.


3675ThisGuy

That's the freaking mind-flayer.


Polskaforlife

No. But there is now plenty of room for a new tree. Once you chainsaw the old one out.


Head-Impress1818

Couple zip ties should do the trick


Willamina03

Absolutely. You can save so much on firewood if you do it yourself.


Kadiddlehopper19

Yes three years worth of firewood.


EffortEconomy

Was it caught up in an anime fight?


Major_Melon

Eh just some duct tape should fix er up


TheGrongGuy

Zipties


edingerc

With a deafening rip, the tree tore apart, revealing the figure standing in the center. As it ran from the scene, I could barely make out in the distance, "... am Groot!"


atleticojose

this is the type of posts that have a higher reach and are actually useless. i've seen a lot of posts with people that are indeed in need for help with a specific question and there's not a single comment. after that, they're all forgotten. does someone know a better subreddit where people can actually be helpful?


Ordinary_Option1453

Ratchet straps and daily watering for a few weeks and she'll be good as new


Caniac_93

What’s the problem?


Intelligent-Pop9553

It just needs a big strong hug and it’ll be fine


Regulus242

Clearly termites. Use dish soap and neem oil.


Justryan95

Thank you for the advice everyone! I'm going to head out to buy [a pallet of flex tape to try to save the tree.](https://www.dkhardware.com/flex-seal-dtblkmixst-30-tape-duct-mixed-display-product-7533225.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=shopping&utm_campaign=free_listings&srsltid=AfmBOoo2VQgeBwk2o8w1at4L_0rCC5wUiRg6Vq33XWHr4-DeK34REnaWE3E)


Eggsplane

If this is actually your tree, please consider leaving it as standing deadwood, also known as a snag. They're great for wildlife, and this one is a particularly unique shape that can act as a centerpiece and conversation piece for the yard. While mulch won't help the tree (obviously), it would look beautiful as a native plant garden, with organic mulch out past the branches, short, colorful native plants, and a few benches and pathways (that are placed carefully for safety reasons). It'd be like having your own botanical garden.


archgingerbob

Too much mulch, looks fine otherwise.


Full_Peak3476

I doubt it. Id cut 2 of the fallen limbs paint ( protect the core of the other and see in 2 months how its doing, it make à beautiful leaner


Eggsplane

I wouldn't cut off any of it. It looks more interesting with three. I also wouldn't paint it, so as to leave it for wildlife. It could still go slowly, so OP might even get some leaves for years at the rate it can take, and that's good enough for those shitty companies that top a tree or mulch a volcano.


YoureTrippin

You can barely notice it.


lincolnhawk

Depends on what kinda bulk deal you can get on wood glue.


justanameanyname

A little prune seal and it will outlive democracy in the USA if Trump gets elected again.


Building_Snowmen

That isn’t a tree. That’s the monster from Stranger Things


hedronlow

Just my humble opinion. We can rebuild it. We have the technology. Better, faster, stronger than before.