# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well there’s a few ways that could work.
The worst would probably be the mother is a teen mom and the daughter/son is a teen mom/dad.
The second way is maybe the person adopted someone who became a teen mom
The third way could be they married someone older that has grandchildren
I dated a woman that had a baby when she was 12... And her daughter got knocked while she she was 13... So 26 year old grandma. Super weird. Ironically her mother tool care of all of them.
She wasnt trashy. She was actually from a very wealthy family. I blame her school system. A lot of sexually active middle schoolers. 6th graders complaining that they got their star bucks order wrong. Etc. Children trying to be adults. Lol
Where I was, we were active sexually around 13/14 y/o but I never knew anyone getting pregnant at this age, because we were all so afraid of one thing, having a baby. So we just used condom, idk it's seem just normal. So yeah problem is from education, family and school system. I've sexual education around 12/13 years old I think.
It’s good that you had sex ed and wore condoms, but why is anyone having sex at 13? I was still watching Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon then lol Kids are growing up way too fast these days. At least wait until 16/17
I did, but I was definitely pressured/groomed... A lot.
My dad even had a coworker who was in his 20's see a photo of me in middle school on his tool box, searched me up on myspace, and then told me he was like 17.
It was a whole thing but yea. Nothing happened and my dad never caught a charge 😅.. Looking back I wish I could protect my teenage self. Definitely should not have been sexually active at all
Well assuming we want the maximum age of both parents.
27-1.75 years for the 2 pregnancies, leaves us with 25.25/2
12 years 7 and a half months. That is assuming they just turned 27.
The maximum assuming they are just about to turn 28 would be 13 years 1 and a half months. This also assumes the baby was just born.
While one of the mothers could've been older that would mean the other needs to be younger by the same amount. This isn't even 16 and pregnant type stuff this is tween and pregnant which would've been a far worse show.
My aunt was a grandmother at 34, she became a mother at 15 and her son became a father at 19. I can't imagine someone becoming a grandparent even younger than that.
My ex knocked up an 18 year old and he was 13. I dated him and was like 5,6 years younger then him at the time so I was about 18, he was 24 and his daughter was 8 if I'm remembering all that correctly.
Shit ima do math that feels so wrong ^
18+5=23-13=10 or if it was a 6 year gap maybe my memory is actually right. WICKED I THOUGHT THE MATH WAS SO WRONG PEOPLE
I remember working with this woman who had a 20 year old daughter, as well as some other teenage aged children, and she was only 33. Yes she had her first kid at 13.
She's a grandmother at only 33 because her daughter had her first kid when she was 19.
She was from Texas which should clear a lot of that up.
It's certainly unexpected for someone to be a grandmother at such a young age and it's definitely concerning to hear that someone is impregnating minors. It's important that we look out for the safety of these children and ensure that they receive the care and support they need.
Kids was too late for me (but also jarred me entirely), but I am a consummate nerd and a former paper boy. I knew that sex was killing people in the eighties so I avoided all that and rode my skateboard. Had a lot of really bored girlfriends who watched me skate in the eighties…thank god.
I had a friend whose gf is 28. Her daughter is 15. Her granddaughter is 14 months old. Needless to say the friends gf does not have custody of her children, or grandchildren.
I had a friend that "planned" his daughter at 11, his girlfriend was 14.
They pretty much gave the kid away (to family) until he turned 20-ish and started actually taking care of her
Families like this are usually riddled with abuse. Often the pregnancies are the result of rape, and/or kids who are being abused and neglecting seeking some sort of comfort in risky sex from a young age. And this continues on with them not knowing how to parent. It's very sad.
I’m almost 48 and have a 13 and a 9 year old. Several of my former high school classmates are grandparents now. Some of their grandkids are close in age to my youngest. It’s so weird.
Eh. If both people were young but the same age, there's not really any sexual abuse going on, necessarily.
I had sex the first time when I was 16. It felt, at the time, like I was a late bloomer. No abuse , just young people the same age engaging in consensual intercourse.
Damn. Weird to think my great grandma would have been 60 years older than yours, or that my mom is older than your great grandma. I have cousin that is a grandma in her 40s, gave birth at 17, and now her son who is in his 20s is a father. She also has a daughter who is almost 14 that is now an aunt.
Not trashy but concerning. It's really bad on a younger teen, as you're not even mentally developed enough to drive a car. 15 or 16 is the least age I'd even consider the body being ok with growing another human. It's also pretty bad that the mother who got pregnant didn't persuade thir daughter to not get pregnant at that age. Birth control and condoms exist people.
I had my oldest when I was 16, physically I was fine-mentally, not so much. Luckily my parents stepped up and made a *huge* difference in her life when things could’ve gone very wrong-which I thank them for at every opportunity. With that said, I threaten my kids with death if they come home pregnant, not so much that they won’t come to me, but enough that they get on birth control and do the right thing. So far, so good-I’m 43 and not a grandmother yet. Trying to break those cycles, I think my mom was 34 when my nephew was born. That wasn’t going to be me if I could help it.
Same. I am 40 now but went to elementary school and was friends with a girl who got pregnant at 12 with a 14 year old. No joke AT ALL. It was summer of 6th grade and 7th grade, she came back pregnant. He went to our school as well. No abuse or anything like that, her father was a local church leader and her Mom, worked at our school so it spread like wild fire. I believe when I graduated in 2000, she was pregnant with her 3rd child.
Not trashy, concerning. I'd have to wonder how that happened- that a child had another child so young, who is taking care of them, and who isn't supervising them that it happened *twice*.
Not sure how did that happen but I m sure there is an explanation. My only question to grandma would be, ok you couldn’t protect yourself, what about your kid? You should have learned from your own experience, educate and protect your kids.
That's how my mom was.
Married at 16, first kid 11 months later at 17, three kids before she turned 22, divorced by 25. While she attempted community college, she never did finish her education.
She pushed me hard on getting my education and being able to support myself before getting knocked up.
It worked. I was almost 30 when I had my first and only.
That’s a great mom. She knew how to educate you to not make those same decisions. Since school’s unfortunately don’t do the greatest with sex Ed, I think it’s important for parents to do that with their kids as well.
That’s what I was thinking as well. My grandma was a teen mom, but my mom didn’t have me until 35/36. For my grandma though, she was tasked with taking care of 3 sisters, so she intentionally got pregnant to move out of the house and get away from her family. She felt trapped. Honestly I have a bad relationship with my father so I can relate, but that wouldn’t fly as well these days, with a kid just moving out of the house with a kid.
This seems like the only place I can share this story:
I worked in a shitty small town for 2 years and a 12 year old boy was working at the auto shop full time because he got his 12 year old gf pregnant and wanted to be a good dad.
It’s not trashy, it’s sad. It’s not good, it’s not love, it’s not “meant to be”. It’s just plain sad.
It’s at the very least incredibly sad and disheartening that grandma didn’t raise mom any better than she was raised, and likely that granddaughter isn’t going to get much better than either of them - probably worse.
My grandma gave birth to my uncle at 14. The sad thing is it was normal at the time and still is in many parts of the world that have been that way for centuries
I lost mine at the same age too. If I could redo it, I would. I think I was too young and I didn't know what I was getting into (was very painful and never received proper sex education from my parents or my school)
Almost downvoted just seeing that network. It used to have some good shows, but the low production cost and high ratings of Honey Boo Boo made them realize they could scrape the bottom of American society for a quick buck.
When I was in the 8th grade, a 7th grade girl said she would have sex with me if I made her my girlfriend. That was on a Friday, I said sure, met her at the school on Saturday to have sex, I had no idea how to do it standing up (it was the 80s, no internet), so we made out for a couple hours, did some hand play, then I went home, and on Monday at school I said, “I don’t think this is good thing, let’s just be friends”.
Ran in to her at K-Mart when I was 18 and she was 17, she had 3 kids….and I thought, wow, I really dodged a bullet that weekend.
My dad used to be a principal and one of the students was a 13 year old girl who had a kid. The girl's mom was 26 and grandma was 39. It was a family tradition I guess.
Did you have a kid when you were 14 and they had a kid when they were 13?? That's like beyond trashy and getting into "who is fucking these barely pubescent children and why have they not been arrested?"
I knew a girl in high school who was 15 and she had an 18 year old boyfriend who wasn’t in our school. He got her pregnant and she had to go to a school for pregnant teens. She went away quietly. She was my girlfriend at the times best friend. We had broken up at the end of freshman year, and when I didn’t see them together the next year when school was back in session I had to ask, since they were always together
"Who is fucking these barely pubescent children and why have they not been arrested?" Maybe another barely pubescent kid? Back in the day I knew a girl who was pregnant at 13 and the father was another idiot 13 year old. Neither kid was arrested.
When I was 14 I was pregnant by an 18 yr old. Sure, kids do have kids with other kids. But statistically, far too many young girls are pregnant by adult men.
Trashy, no. It should be criminal to get a child that young pregnant. We need to learn how to eliminate these terms for people who are unable to envision a better life. They have little hope of bettering themselves or their circumstances because they are viewed as "less than". They are not less than. They are human beings and deserving of respect for simply surviving.
A lot of minors have children that young (13/14) because they were raped and didn't have the option to have an abortion. Just something to consider when thinking anyone in this situation is "trashy."
Trashy? No. That implies a value judgment that doesn't apply. Both girls were minors who were by definition raped. That doesn't make them trashy. It makes them victims.
That’s fair. A 13 year old is mentally a child. Some girls develop early and there are plenty of predators out there that will take advantage. Remember Soleil Moon Frye? Punky Brewster? She made a documentary about it
I had my first baby at 34 and I felt barely equipped. Can’t imagine being 13. Someone said tragic and that’s the best description- regardless of the circumstances around it.
There are scenarios where it isn’t at all trashy, but instead a product of rape. It literally depends on the minutia. An argument could be made against it being “trashy” even if it followed all the social characters of something “trashy”. I am talking about perpetual cycles and the human tendency of becoming products of our own environments.
It’s just sad. It’s sad to see a child have a child and know the difficulties they will face raising the baby. The loss of a normal life. Never feeling like they fit in with peers and either missing out on normal childhood experiences or leaving the child they had without a parent around. Sad for everyone. Hopefully a cycle that is broken with the new baby. People tend to think of teen moms as having “rough backgrounds” but from the poor to the 1%, teenage pregnancies happen.
It's not trashy, It's heartbreaking. There was absolutely some sort of SA whether or not the 2 previous generations "consented" or not. They were children forced go grow up. Kids can't consent even if they wanted sex at 13 or 14
Years ago, in high school a 16 year old friend was dating a 12 year old girl. I had met her and she looked older. After they broke up we were hanging out and he told me the had sex all the time and she was "experienced". He said she was teaching him things about sex play. He told me she had zero inhibitions. He did tell me one of the reasons they broke up was she was just a mental case.
I always wondered if an older relative, dad, uncle or brother had gotten to her and when. Pretty sure she had been abused.
So the simplest combo is one getting pregnant at 12 and the other at 15. The average would be 13 and a half each.
At which point you really need to ask, why are the conditions for teen pregnancy presenting themselves twice in a row? It says way more about the environment than it says about the persons.
I don’t think that makes you are trashy. Without any other context anyways.
I think it means generational abuse or neglect or both. Children having children and then not being able to teach them not to repeat those same mistakes.
I guess it depends on the culture you live in. But in the modern United States, yes it’s a formula for disaster. You’ll be a great great grandma before you die if your kids don’t break the cycle of getting pregnant at 13
Yes. Because either someone is out there impregnating minors or someone is allowing minors to have sex, at the very, _very_ least, without educating them about why safe sex is so important.
When my sister did her OB rotation in med school, she personally delivered an 11yo and her friend a 10yo. The 10yo, her baby was her sibling (her dad was abusing her). Any time a kid came in, social services was called. It's been over 20 years so I don't remember the cutoff age.
Someone in my family was a grandfather at 29, and I don’t mean like centuries ago, he became a grandfather in the 2000s. He’s a nice guy and a good dad, and not your stereotypical teen dad.
I wouldn’t call it trashy. It’s not an ideal situation but I try not to be judgmental about what’s going on in other people’s lives, we’re all just trying to do the best we can.
As a person who's worked in social services as a social worker for a fair amount of time I wouldn't say this is a trashy situation. It is more heartbreaking, frustrating, upsetting.
One of my clients was a 31 year old grandmother of 3. She has her first child at 11 and then her second one at 13. Both were by older men who took advantage of her. She didn't have a stable home life, a miserable support system and didn't realize what she had gone through was abuse.
Her oldest daughter had her first child at 14, when my client was 25. Her second child, her son, had gotten his girlfriend pregnant when he was 16. Both children were put in the custody of my clients because of various things.
When I first met my client she had two more young children of her own, her two 'older" grand children, and a newborn that her daughter had dropped off after being released from the hospital.
She was seeking stable shelter, food, diapers, and formula for her weeks old granddaughter and she was also battling addiction. She was trying to get clean, but her environment was not the best place to achieve sobriety. I just wanted to cry about her whole situation, but she was positive and was trying to make the best of the situation.
No, it's not trashy, it's heart-breaking. Families like this are typically riddled with neglect, physical abuse and sexual abuse. That's why the girls got pregnant so young, abuse or no one taking care of her well enough to keep her from having risky sex at a young age.
I dated a girl who lost her virginity at 12, she acted like it was normal. I was like umm I didn't even have my first kiss at 12 and lost mine at 17. She had some serious trauma in her life
Not necessarily (I acknowledge there are some horrific, criminal scenarios), but incredibly likely
If you chose to, and then your kid chose to, then both you and your kid brought a baby into the world with zero plans or intent to provide for them. A teenager doesn't provide anything and the burden typically falls on do-gooders or family around them. That is trashy.
Frankly, it depends on how old the dad and granddad are.
If they're significantly older than mom and grandma, then they're trashy af and need to be in prison. If not, then I suggest the grandmother use her situation as an example of why the local school system needs comprehensive sex ed. stat.
My friend at high school was pregnant at 14. She had her baby. Her family helped her but she became a very strong lady. She worked hard and looked after her baby better than i could possibly have. And now she is older she fosters soecial needs children that other people dont want. She is actually one of the best people i know.
A biological grandmother of 27 is less “trashy” and more “deeply concerning”.
Depending on age differences it could mean the grandfather/dad is trash, though.
If the grandma adopted the mother/father as a teen and they’re now an adult, then it’s not trashy at all.
I was 33 when I became a grandmother, too. I had my first daughter at 15, 2nd daughter at 16, 3rd daughter at 19, 1st son at 25, and 2nd son at 28. All have the same dad. My second daughter had a daughter at 17 (1 1/2 months before she turned 18). The rest of my children had children in their 20s.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Tragic is the word I would use
My first thought too. How does that math even work?
The grandma conceived at thirteen, as did the mother
Or her son got someone pregnant.
Or she married an older man who already had a grandchild.
Yeah, that's what happened with my mom. She was about that age when she married my dad who already had grandkids from his first marriage.
It’s arguably also trashy haha
I'm curious. Why's that trashy?
It happens. Watch TLC.
I read her posts, she got pregnant at 14, so her kid was 13
Well there’s a few ways that could work. The worst would probably be the mother is a teen mom and the daughter/son is a teen mom/dad. The second way is maybe the person adopted someone who became a teen mom The third way could be they married someone older that has grandchildren
I don't know about "trashy" but it's certainly extremely concerning as somebody is impregnating these minor children.
Right? Like, how the fuck can you be a grandparent at 27?
I dated a woman that had a baby when she was 12... And her daughter got knocked while she she was 13... So 26 year old grandma. Super weird. Ironically her mother tool care of all of them. She wasnt trashy. She was actually from a very wealthy family. I blame her school system. A lot of sexually active middle schoolers. 6th graders complaining that they got their star bucks order wrong. Etc. Children trying to be adults. Lol
Wealthiness and trashiness are not mutually exclusive concepts.
A famous family that starts with T and ends in P comes to mind.
What an odd way to spell Kardashians
That what came to my mind
Ivanka Trump and Kim Kardashian are the same age… and sometimes they hang out.
That dang Turnip family up on the hill. Got rich from turnips and they don’t never let us forget it.
No, dude he’s talking crap about the dogs in Lady & The Tramp. They’re Dogs of course they have young ages.
Where I was, we were active sexually around 13/14 y/o but I never knew anyone getting pregnant at this age, because we were all so afraid of one thing, having a baby. So we just used condom, idk it's seem just normal. So yeah problem is from education, family and school system. I've sexual education around 12/13 years old I think.
It’s good that you had sex ed and wore condoms, but why is anyone having sex at 13? I was still watching Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon then lol Kids are growing up way too fast these days. At least wait until 16/17
I did, but I was definitely pressured/groomed... A lot. My dad even had a coworker who was in his 20's see a photo of me in middle school on his tool box, searched me up on myspace, and then told me he was like 17. It was a whole thing but yea. Nothing happened and my dad never caught a charge 😅.. Looking back I wish I could protect my teenage self. Definitely should not have been sexually active at all
This isn’t new, teenagers have been having sex at 13 for decades. Kids today are actually having less sex than kids in older generations were.
12 / 13 years old is way too late for sexual education, you need to educate earlier than that.
Abuse creates a vicious cycle that can span generations.
Well assuming we want the maximum age of both parents. 27-1.75 years for the 2 pregnancies, leaves us with 25.25/2 12 years 7 and a half months. That is assuming they just turned 27. The maximum assuming they are just about to turn 28 would be 13 years 1 and a half months. This also assumes the baby was just born. While one of the mothers could've been older that would mean the other needs to be younger by the same amount. This isn't even 16 and pregnant type stuff this is tween and pregnant which would've been a far worse show.
My aunt was a grandmother at 34, she became a mother at 15 and her son became a father at 19. I can't imagine someone becoming a grandparent even younger than that.
My ex knocked up an 18 year old and he was 13. I dated him and was like 5,6 years younger then him at the time so I was about 18, he was 24 and his daughter was 8 if I'm remembering all that correctly. Shit ima do math that feels so wrong ^ 18+5=23-13=10 or if it was a 6 year gap maybe my memory is actually right. WICKED I THOUGHT THE MATH WAS SO WRONG PEOPLE
Dont kill my weed vibe I understand I absolutely fucked this one up Philip.
So you're ex was 13-years-old and got an 18-year-old pregnant?
If she had a kid at 13..then repeat
I remember working with this woman who had a 20 year old daughter, as well as some other teenage aged children, and she was only 33. Yes she had her first kid at 13. She's a grandmother at only 33 because her daughter had her first kid when she was 19. She was from Texas which should clear a lot of that up.
Give birth at 14, then your kid gives birth at 13
It's certainly unexpected for someone to be a grandmother at such a young age and it's definitely concerning to hear that someone is impregnating minors. It's important that we look out for the safety of these children and ensure that they receive the care and support they need.
This could be minors impregnating minors. Did you see Kids, they were very sexually active
Kids was too late for me (but also jarred me entirely), but I am a consummate nerd and a former paper boy. I knew that sex was killing people in the eighties so I avoided all that and rode my skateboard. Had a lot of really bored girlfriends who watched me skate in the eighties…thank god.
So like…. had a kid at 14 and *that* kid had a kid at 13?
I had a friend whose gf is 28. Her daughter is 15. Her granddaughter is 14 months old. Needless to say the friends gf does not have custody of her children, or grandchildren.
I had a coworker who was 33 with a 21 year old son.
That is so sad.
Pregnant at 11? The poor girl!
I had a friend that "planned" his daughter at 11, his girlfriend was 14. They pretty much gave the kid away (to family) until he turned 20-ish and started actually taking care of her
Families like this are usually riddled with abuse. Often the pregnancies are the result of rape, and/or kids who are being abused and neglecting seeking some sort of comfort in risky sex from a young age. And this continues on with them not knowing how to parent. It's very sad.
I'm just about old enough to be a grandfather at 38 (theoretically speaking) and my oldest is 10
My grandma was 38 when I was born and I’m okish. Mom has me at 17 her mom had her at 21
I’m almost 48 and have a 13 and a 9 year old. Several of my former high school classmates are grandparents now. Some of their grandkids are close in age to my youngest. It’s so weird.
I’m 41 with a 6 year old.
[удалено]
13 I believe.
? 12
33-21 = 12 lol
Horrific. Way too young. Trashy, maybe in that someone in their circle is ok with child sex abuse, but not their fault.
Eh. If both people were young but the same age, there's not really any sexual abuse going on, necessarily. I had sex the first time when I was 16. It felt, at the time, like I was a late bloomer. No abuse , just young people the same age engaging in consensual intercourse.
I have a cousin that was a great grandmother in her mid 40s. They are generations of bad choices.
Damn. Weird to think my great grandma would have been 60 years older than yours, or that my mom is older than your great grandma. I have cousin that is a grandma in her 40s, gave birth at 17, and now her son who is in his 20s is a father. She also has a daughter who is almost 14 that is now an aunt.
I'm 38 and never met any of my grandparents, some were born in the 1800s!!
So were they older when they had your parents and your parents older when they had you?
So I have a weird family situation where my sister is technically my aunt and she is 3 years younger then me
Yes. Or they each did at 13 and a half
No, they had to do each other while 12 so they can have a kid by halfway through their 13th year.
Correct
Not trashy but concerning. It's really bad on a younger teen, as you're not even mentally developed enough to drive a car. 15 or 16 is the least age I'd even consider the body being ok with growing another human. It's also pretty bad that the mother who got pregnant didn't persuade thir daughter to not get pregnant at that age. Birth control and condoms exist people.
I had my oldest when I was 16, physically I was fine-mentally, not so much. Luckily my parents stepped up and made a *huge* difference in her life when things could’ve gone very wrong-which I thank them for at every opportunity. With that said, I threaten my kids with death if they come home pregnant, not so much that they won’t come to me, but enough that they get on birth control and do the right thing. So far, so good-I’m 43 and not a grandmother yet. Trying to break those cycles, I think my mom was 34 when my nephew was born. That wasn’t going to be me if I could help it.
Yeesh. I sincerely hope this is theoretical. If not, good luck
Unfortunately it isn't theoretical. I have known people who lost their virginity in middle school to other people in middle school.
Same. I am 40 now but went to elementary school and was friends with a girl who got pregnant at 12 with a 14 year old. No joke AT ALL. It was summer of 6th grade and 7th grade, she came back pregnant. He went to our school as well. No abuse or anything like that, her father was a local church leader and her Mom, worked at our school so it spread like wild fire. I believe when I graduated in 2000, she was pregnant with her 3rd child.
Not trashy, concerning. I'd have to wonder how that happened- that a child had another child so young, who is taking care of them, and who isn't supervising them that it happened *twice*.
Yes, children having children is bad.
Not sure how did that happen but I m sure there is an explanation. My only question to grandma would be, ok you couldn’t protect yourself, what about your kid? You should have learned from your own experience, educate and protect your kids.
That's how my mom was. Married at 16, first kid 11 months later at 17, three kids before she turned 22, divorced by 25. While she attempted community college, she never did finish her education. She pushed me hard on getting my education and being able to support myself before getting knocked up. It worked. I was almost 30 when I had my first and only.
That’s a great mom. She knew how to educate you to not make those same decisions. Since school’s unfortunately don’t do the greatest with sex Ed, I think it’s important for parents to do that with their kids as well.
She sounds like an amazing mom, sending hugs to her!
That’s what I was thinking as well. My grandma was a teen mom, but my mom didn’t have me until 35/36. For my grandma though, she was tasked with taking care of 3 sisters, so she intentionally got pregnant to move out of the house and get away from her family. She felt trapped. Honestly I have a bad relationship with my father so I can relate, but that wouldn’t fly as well these days, with a kid just moving out of the house with a kid.
This seems like the only place I can share this story: I worked in a shitty small town for 2 years and a 12 year old boy was working at the auto shop full time because he got his 12 year old gf pregnant and wanted to be a good dad. It’s not trashy, it’s sad. It’s not good, it’s not love, it’s not “meant to be”. It’s just plain sad.
It’s at the very least incredibly sad and disheartening that grandma didn’t raise mom any better than she was raised, and likely that granddaughter isn’t going to get much better than either of them - probably worse.
Somebody has been impregnating children and that is fucked up, even if it's by another child, they shouldn't have sex at freaking 13 years old.
My sister lost her virginity at like 14. Frankly I think that’s too young. She also makes horrible decisions.
My grandma gave birth to my uncle at 14. The sad thing is it was normal at the time and still is in many parts of the world that have been that way for centuries
I lost mine at the same age too. If I could redo it, I would. I think I was too young and I didn't know what I was getting into (was very painful and never received proper sex education from my parents or my school)
TLC producers reading these comments intently
Almost downvoted just seeing that network. It used to have some good shows, but the low production cost and high ratings of Honey Boo Boo made them realize they could scrape the bottom of American society for a quick buck.
When I was in the 8th grade, a 7th grade girl said she would have sex with me if I made her my girlfriend. That was on a Friday, I said sure, met her at the school on Saturday to have sex, I had no idea how to do it standing up (it was the 80s, no internet), so we made out for a couple hours, did some hand play, then I went home, and on Monday at school I said, “I don’t think this is good thing, let’s just be friends”. Ran in to her at K-Mart when I was 18 and she was 17, she had 3 kids….and I thought, wow, I really dodged a bullet that weekend.
What did she end up doing with her life? Do you know?
My dad used to be a principal and one of the students was a 13 year old girl who had a kid. The girl's mom was 26 and grandma was 39. It was a family tradition I guess.
Shes a great grandmother at 40 lol
Not trashy... heartbreaking
Trashy no, but hopefully a cycle that can be broken
I have a feeling you already know the answer to this. Depending where you are, it's also possible age of consent laws have been broken.
Did you have a kid when you were 14 and they had a kid when they were 13?? That's like beyond trashy and getting into "who is fucking these barely pubescent children and why have they not been arrested?"
I knew a girl in high school who was 15 and she had an 18 year old boyfriend who wasn’t in our school. He got her pregnant and she had to go to a school for pregnant teens. She went away quietly. She was my girlfriend at the times best friend. We had broken up at the end of freshman year, and when I didn’t see them together the next year when school was back in session I had to ask, since they were always together
"Who is fucking these barely pubescent children and why have they not been arrested?" Maybe another barely pubescent kid? Back in the day I knew a girl who was pregnant at 13 and the father was another idiot 13 year old. Neither kid was arrested.
It's a possibility, but all the 12-14 year old girls who got pregnant in my school were being abused by 25-45 year olds.
Same
When I was 14 I was pregnant by an 18 yr old. Sure, kids do have kids with other kids. But statistically, far too many young girls are pregnant by adult men.
Statistically underage girls who are pregnant are likely to be the victims of statutory rape.
There are alarmingly less teenage fathers than teenage mothers 😬
r/oddlyspecific and r/wtf
It's sad and unfortunate
It's more sad than anything. These children didn't wait long enough to be trashy.
Trashy, no. It should be criminal to get a child that young pregnant. We need to learn how to eliminate these terms for people who are unable to envision a better life. They have little hope of bettering themselves or their circumstances because they are viewed as "less than". They are not less than. They are human beings and deserving of respect for simply surviving.
Trashy men knocking them up. Trashy parents making their daughters give birth as barely a teen. 12 years old pregnant…takes 10 months
I don't know about trashy, but it's extremely sad for everyone involved. There's probably a story of abuse involved.
How does this math even add up? This is terrible. Neither You, your child, or your grandchild are being setup for any success in this life.
Great grand mother by 40 and great great grandmother at 53. Crazy to think when my great great grandfather was born, Abraham Lincoln was President.
A lot of minors have children that young (13/14) because they were raped and didn't have the option to have an abortion. Just something to consider when thinking anyone in this situation is "trashy."
No. But curious. What are the ages here for your daughter and granddaughter.
Loretta Lynn was a grandmother at 28
Wow! I see she had a child at 15, so one of them had a child at 13?
Trashy? No. That implies a value judgment that doesn't apply. Both girls were minors who were by definition raped. That doesn't make them trashy. It makes them victims.
I mean if the boy and girl were both 13 who raped who?
That’s fair. A 13 year old is mentally a child. Some girls develop early and there are plenty of predators out there that will take advantage. Remember Soleil Moon Frye? Punky Brewster? She made a documentary about it
Not trashy. Unfortunate
Some would say trashy. I'd tend more towards the sad, two generations deep statutory rapey end of the spectrum.
27 year old grandmother is mathematically the product of rape. Trashy, no. A victim of a felony? Absolutely. 2 victims.
Change trashy to legal and there is the real question.
Not so much trashy as generational trauma.
I had my first baby at 34 and I felt barely equipped. Can’t imagine being 13. Someone said tragic and that’s the best description- regardless of the circumstances around it.
I was a first-time parent at 27, so yes, being a grandparent at 27 is beyond traahy.
Nope. Concerning but not trashy
Obviously
There are scenarios where it isn’t at all trashy, but instead a product of rape. It literally depends on the minutia. An argument could be made against it being “trashy” even if it followed all the social characters of something “trashy”. I am talking about perpetual cycles and the human tendency of becoming products of our own environments.
Yes. We don't live in a world where people die in their mid 30s anymore.
It’s just so sad.
It’s not trashy, it’s just sad.
I think it’s trashy…that’s literally babies having babies. I’m 46 and not a grandmother. I also taught my daughter safe sex.
It’s just sad. It’s sad to see a child have a child and know the difficulties they will face raising the baby. The loss of a normal life. Never feeling like they fit in with peers and either missing out on normal childhood experiences or leaving the child they had without a parent around. Sad for everyone. Hopefully a cycle that is broken with the new baby. People tend to think of teen moms as having “rough backgrounds” but from the poor to the 1%, teenage pregnancies happen.
It's not trashy, It's heartbreaking. There was absolutely some sort of SA whether or not the 2 previous generations "consented" or not. They were children forced go grow up. Kids can't consent even if they wanted sex at 13 or 14
Years ago, in high school a 16 year old friend was dating a 12 year old girl. I had met her and she looked older. After they broke up we were hanging out and he told me the had sex all the time and she was "experienced". He said she was teaching him things about sex play. He told me she had zero inhibitions. He did tell me one of the reasons they broke up was she was just a mental case. I always wondered if an older relative, dad, uncle or brother had gotten to her and when. Pretty sure she had been abused.
Kids getting raped isn’t their fault, and for anyone to be a grandparent that young, that’s exactly what’s happening.
I think the right word is criminal.
About as Arkansas trailer park as you can get trashy
You threw away any chance of improving your lot in life, then set your daughter up to do the same. Guess what’s going to happen in 13 years.
So the simplest combo is one getting pregnant at 12 and the other at 15. The average would be 13 and a half each. At which point you really need to ask, why are the conditions for teen pregnancy presenting themselves twice in a row? It says way more about the environment than it says about the persons.
Yes. If anything their family should be checked for a recurring stupidity.
i call it “Babies having Babies”
I don’t think that makes you are trashy. Without any other context anyways. I think it means generational abuse or neglect or both. Children having children and then not being able to teach them not to repeat those same mistakes.
I guess it depends on the culture you live in. But in the modern United States, yes it’s a formula for disaster. You’ll be a great great grandma before you die if your kids don’t break the cycle of getting pregnant at 13
Not trashy, but involving statutory rape. Not cool!
Yes. Because either someone is out there impregnating minors or someone is allowing minors to have sex, at the very, _very_ least, without educating them about why safe sex is so important.
So… you had a kid at 14, your kid had a kid at 13?
I HAD ill prepared dysfunctional teenage parents. It is ALWAYS a terrible idea
I would have a few questions at least…
It’s just really, really, really sad for everyone involved:(
When my sister did her OB rotation in med school, she personally delivered an 11yo and her friend a 10yo. The 10yo, her baby was her sibling (her dad was abusing her). Any time a kid came in, social services was called. It's been over 20 years so I don't remember the cutoff age.
Someone in my family was a grandfather at 29, and I don’t mean like centuries ago, he became a grandfather in the 2000s. He’s a nice guy and a good dad, and not your stereotypical teen dad. I wouldn’t call it trashy. It’s not an ideal situation but I try not to be judgmental about what’s going on in other people’s lives, we’re all just trying to do the best we can.
As a person who's worked in social services as a social worker for a fair amount of time I wouldn't say this is a trashy situation. It is more heartbreaking, frustrating, upsetting. One of my clients was a 31 year old grandmother of 3. She has her first child at 11 and then her second one at 13. Both were by older men who took advantage of her. She didn't have a stable home life, a miserable support system and didn't realize what she had gone through was abuse. Her oldest daughter had her first child at 14, when my client was 25. Her second child, her son, had gotten his girlfriend pregnant when he was 16. Both children were put in the custody of my clients because of various things. When I first met my client she had two more young children of her own, her two 'older" grand children, and a newborn that her daughter had dropped off after being released from the hospital. She was seeking stable shelter, food, diapers, and formula for her weeks old granddaughter and she was also battling addiction. She was trying to get clean, but her environment was not the best place to achieve sobriety. I just wanted to cry about her whole situation, but she was positive and was trying to make the best of the situation.
No, it's not trashy, it's heart-breaking. Families like this are typically riddled with neglect, physical abuse and sexual abuse. That's why the girls got pregnant so young, abuse or no one taking care of her well enough to keep her from having risky sex at a young age.
It’s not trashy, it’s alarming.
I dated a girl who lost her virginity at 12, she acted like it was normal. I was like umm I didn't even have my first kiss at 12 and lost mine at 17. She had some serious trauma in her life
Not necessarily (I acknowledge there are some horrific, criminal scenarios), but incredibly likely If you chose to, and then your kid chose to, then both you and your kid brought a baby into the world with zero plans or intent to provide for them. A teenager doesn't provide anything and the burden typically falls on do-gooders or family around them. That is trashy.
It's really just sad. Unfortunately, teen pregnancy tends to be a generational cycle.
Frankly, it depends on how old the dad and granddad are. If they're significantly older than mom and grandma, then they're trashy af and need to be in prison. If not, then I suggest the grandmother use her situation as an example of why the local school system needs comprehensive sex ed. stat.
It ain't a great start.
My friend at high school was pregnant at 14. She had her baby. Her family helped her but she became a very strong lady. She worked hard and looked after her baby better than i could possibly have. And now she is older she fosters soecial needs children that other people dont want. She is actually one of the best people i know.
Under what circumstances? I wouldn't judge. It's usually a tragic event (such as abuse) or socioeconomic factors that'd cause something like this.
Scary more than anything. Something is not going right there and it is very unsettling for the children and the children they are having...
No, it's not trashy. It's sad that someone is impregnating such young girls.
You’d think after such an early pregnancy, the child would be educated to not do the same
It’s a clear case of making poor life decisions
Going to be a great great-grandmother by 40.
A biological grandmother of 27 is less “trashy” and more “deeply concerning”. Depending on age differences it could mean the grandfather/dad is trash, though. If the grandma adopted the mother/father as a teen and they’re now an adult, then it’s not trashy at all.
I wouldn't even want to be a dad at 27
I wouldn't call it trash so much as abusive.
Is that shit possible?
Yes. It’s possible for a woman to have a kid at 14 and her daughter have a kid at 14.
Not in the 16th century.
Not in Florida.
Step grandma I hope
Less trashy than worrying. Who knocked up these girls under 14? Are they in jail?
Today yeah that's pretty concerning. A millenia ago when the average life expectancy was half of what is today, not so much.
Terrible terrible cycle of dysfunction
Yes or very tragic. Probably just tragic.
I don't know if trashy is the right word (depending on circumstances), but it is certainty not something to be proud of
it’s not trashy per se, it’s mostly just really sad. children shouldn’t be having children
I made my mother-in-law a grandmother at 33. She had my husband at 14 and I was 19. I thought that a record!
I was 33 when I became a grandmother, too. I had my first daughter at 15, 2nd daughter at 16, 3rd daughter at 19, 1st son at 25, and 2nd son at 28. All have the same dad. My second daughter had a daughter at 17 (1 1/2 months before she turned 18). The rest of my children had children in their 20s.
Yup
![gif](giphy|3o7btPCcdNniyf0ArS|downsized)
[удалено]
Yes
Not in kenya!
Wait.. how??.. I wouldn’t say “trashy”, but “concerning” for sure.
No, just sad. I'm 54, and have no prospects of having grandchildren at all, despite having 4 kids of my own. The oldest is 28. Alas.
Can’t say it’s trashy because we never know somebody’s situation. They could be a victim.
Gross!
Trashy is as trashy does. You define your own reality.
It’s just tragic. It basically requires two statutory rapes.
Children should be children and shouldn't do adult things Edit: It’s been already said, but I repeat. it's not trashy, but definitely concerning
Not trashy, tragic. Incredibly upsetting and sad.
Not trashy. Just tragic, and sad.
Idk about trashy; certainly sad and absolutely disconcerting, possibly illegal, like who is impregnating these young girls and how old are they?
It's sad very sad
ye
Yes
Yes
Not trashy. Deeply disturbing tho.
Yep. Speaks for itself