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I got punched in the face from both parents at separate times from this bullshit phrase. I was convinced that one of them would take my head clear off my neck at the rate they were going.
Absolutely. And I am pretty lively and outgoing, yet almost everyone in my high school found me annoying and disliked me. I was quite popular in my elementary school, but for some reason the high school kids were a tough crowd.
Same man. If I was to just be myself, I'd be complaining about how fucked everything is all the time. I promise no one would like me. But also, if im being myself, idgaf and self isolate, so no one has to deal with me either.
That’s not even necessarily a lie it’s just subjective. If someone comes from a fucked up family says they love you get ready to get beaten up with some fucking crazy shit because that’s what they assumed love was.
One of my exes was hanging around with some guy when we were together. Pretty sure she cheated on me, anyway the guy was all friendly with me until I worked out something was going on.... He then turned nasty.... Couple of years later he was crushed in a work accident...so I guess it didn't go his way in the end.
That saying is said all wrong actually! The real quote is that the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water from the womb! Which actually means that our chosen bonds are stronger than family bonds! Fuck family tbh!
Just to say the 'real' phrase historically is meant to imply the importance of familial connections. The idea that it really referred to found family isn't really justified anywhere I've been able to find. [Link](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_is_thicker_than_water)
That said, running your life based on folk sayings probably isn't a great idea anyway!
To an extent. I once tried to have a relationship with a man who had a micro penis. PIV sex was not enjoyable and unfortunately he was also an asshole. That relationship didn’t work out.
Well micropenis is a bit of an extreme though.
I think that when people say "size do not matter" they still mean people within "one standard deviation" of the mean, not people with a 2 inch penis who are quite rare.
Yeah, ever hear a woman screaming from an orgasm from a 3 1/2 incher? The statistic normally cited is that women mostly don't orgasm from penetration, and the correct response would be the orgasm percentage from different sizes. Of course, likely, guys with bigger ones will probably have more experience, but there would be some way to normalize that. Another common response is oral or to use tools. That is admitting it without admitting it. Does a 4 inch thin penis feel as good with the same skill same person than a 7 inch thicker girth? Studies have actually shown size does matter but not by directly asking them yes or no but instead pointing to different objects representing penis sizes and the most picked one was around 7ish inches well above the average.
"Be a good person and people will recognize it and be good to you in return". I still haven't given up on it, but feel like a fool for following that advice. Few and far between has it rung true.
I had a roommate who to this day claims he served in the Canadian military on a Canadian military base in Russia during the war in Afghanistan in the early 2000s. He was in the military I seen an ID. But the rest is just stupid.
I’m a trucker, I delivered to a guy who would tell me about his daughter, one day my wife starts telling me about this guy who got caught faking he had a daughter and receiving money for it. I immediately thought of this guy. So I googled it, sure as shit it’s him! He got fired from his job. Always struck me as a creep.
I will help you and keep your information safe you will get the medical treatment you need. Don’t worry it’s safe. Or was this the bigger lie
Justice will be seen you will get money for what happened I’m sorry this happened to you.
My parents told me that the ice cream van was actually called the singing van when I was very young as to deter me from constantly asking for ice cream when I heard it. I was too young to remember but it made me laugh when my mum told me years later
"Be quiet, you're scaring the fish away."
Only realised this at 20 odd years of age that this is bullshit. Parents say this to kids so they shut up lol.
My dad always said that and i believed him until i just read this. He also told me i could jump off the boat because there are no sharks in the bay. I found out that there are sharks in the bay, bull sharks, one of the meanest kind.
Oh she exists. Just don't expect it to be forever.
You have what is known in the business as... "champagne taste and beer budget"
Female company, like fast cars and good food comes in many price ranges and effort levels.
Don't shop for a Hellcat if you can only affort to maintain a Nissan
I once told a huge lie that my preacher talked dirty to me that was a huge lie he actually fukd my ass when I was 14 so they actually didn't do anything to him said it was my imagination.yeah I'm just imagining his COC just slipped inside me and made me gape.
That the man who raised me my whole life and I carry the name of was my father when he biologically was not. Found out around 22 years old. I haven’t been the same since.
My work colleague tops himself every week with a new "biggest lie."
Last week's biggest lie: "I'm paralyzed on the entire left side of my body. I'm going to see a doctor. "
Shows up to work the following day as if nothing had happened.
He's an alcoholic and pill addict who calls in "sick" 65+ days a year, always delivering the most outlandish excuses. We now play "excuses bingo" at work...
That bullying won't be tolerated in schools. It's not only tolerated, it's encouraged by the use of whole class detentions for individual rule breaking. The teacher knows that if they keep the whole class at breaktime because one child was talking, that one kid will get shit from his classmates.
Also that's why schools refer to physical bullying as an "incident " rather than an assault
Well, the funniest one I was told was if I ate my greens and drank my milk, I’d grow up big and tall.
I’m 5’1. Both my younger siblings are over 5’7 and they did NOT eat their greens or drink their milk, but I did. It’s not fair. Lol
I was told there is an invisible man looking down upon all of us and if we don't do as he wishes, we go to hell and burn. And he is also created everything we see, which is not a good job. And all good and positive things we should thank him. But all the terrible and awful things.. well, he works in mysterious ways.
What a load of BS.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“Tell me the truth I won’t get mad”
“You won’t get in trouble if you tell the truth”
Or as Chris Rock once said - “I know you did it, just admit it!!”
😂💯
yea that's what parents say to their kid/kids but half of the time it's a lie
And after telling them you see their true colours
I got punched in the face from both parents at separate times from this bullshit phrase. I was convinced that one of them would take my head clear off my neck at the rate they were going.
That's abuse. And extreme abuse at that.
Yeah what the fuck
Throw mental illness on top of addictions. Fun times.
yeah I can imagine
That's crazy punching a kid in the face...
Head, neck, whatever was available. Permanent nerve damage by age 22. He's dead now. 😁
Deserved worse than death smh
And I was dumb enough to tell them everytime they used to say this!
As a parent: Ill get ALOT more mad if I get a phonecall or police shows up and you didnt tell me first.
You can trust me, I won't tell anyone.
They can trust me not to tell, as chances are I’ll forget in 15 min 😂
That and "I'll never hurt you". The second somebody gets an opportunity to do so, they will.
I've been stung with this one very recently. Some people are trash of the highest order.
it's only trust issues if they are unfounded
You actually cant trust me as I have a big mouth. I've tried keeping it shut but it doesn't work.
“You won’t have a calculator with you everywhere when you grow up.” That or “I love you.”
Good one! Every phone I’ve had since 2000 has had a calculator. Not to mention every computer I ever used since 1993.
Every computer. Even the old 8 bit ones. You could just type in 3*234 on a command line and hit enter.
I love you
It was true later taking calculus in college
When I was a kid I was told that Medusa lived in our attic.
Who told you that, haha
My siblings.
My parents used to tell me i had a twin brother in the attic and they feed him fish heads, understood the reference a few years later lol
[удалено]
This one is sorta true though. Some people say this just because.
It’s a cop out. Like “you’ll understand when you get out there and see how the real world works”
Maybe you’re not old enough yet?
This is a good one
"Just be yourself and everyone will like you."
You generally say that to people who are naturally bright and lively... It would not work on me. Ever. I'm cynical, depressing fuck. Lol
Absolutely. And I am pretty lively and outgoing, yet almost everyone in my high school found me annoying and disliked me. I was quite popular in my elementary school, but for some reason the high school kids were a tough crowd.
Kids are jealous. So thats your answer. You're probably doing alright now.
Same man. If I was to just be myself, I'd be complaining about how fucked everything is all the time. I promise no one would like me. But also, if im being myself, idgaf and self isolate, so no one has to deal with me either.
The fine print reads "Don't be an asshole" :D
"Boys don't cry". Go to hell with that!
I do feel this everyday, best of luck whoever relates
Good arse song tho just had too say
My opinion matters at work lol
We are experiencing higher call volumes than average
Fucking hate that
It's okay if you don't know the answer
“I love you.”
That’s not even necessarily a lie it’s just subjective. If someone comes from a fucked up family says they love you get ready to get beaten up with some fucking crazy shit because that’s what they assumed love was.
I'm pretty sure my ex just lied
That horrible people will get theirs because of Karma. Never happens. They stay horrible with no consequences.
One of my exes was hanging around with some guy when we were together. Pretty sure she cheated on me, anyway the guy was all friendly with me until I worked out something was going on.... He then turned nasty.... Couple of years later he was crushed in a work accident...so I guess it didn't go his way in the end.
'Looks don't matter'.
“Iraq has WMD”
That “we are from the government, and we are here to help.”
That has never been told to you, just a trope people say.
Everybody bags on the government until the fire department saves their life.
You can be anything you want to be when you grow up.
Family helps family because blood is thicker than water.
That saying is said all wrong actually! The real quote is that the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water from the womb! Which actually means that our chosen bonds are stronger than family bonds! Fuck family tbh!
Just to say the 'real' phrase historically is meant to imply the importance of familial connections. The idea that it really referred to found family isn't really justified anywhere I've been able to find. [Link](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_is_thicker_than_water) That said, running your life based on folk sayings probably isn't a great idea anyway!
That I’m okay….
“Size doesn’t matter, it’s about the motion of the ocean”. Wrong.
To an extent. I once tried to have a relationship with a man who had a micro penis. PIV sex was not enjoyable and unfortunately he was also an asshole. That relationship didn’t work out.
I believe most people with a micro penis likely slowly turn into assholes over time. I've seen that scenario so much.
Happy dick day
That reminds me that “Boyfriend dick” has got to be the most humiliating term ever
I’ve never heard that term- what is “boyfriend dick”?
Well micropenis is a bit of an extreme though. I think that when people say "size do not matter" they still mean people within "one standard deviation" of the mean, not people with a 2 inch penis who are quite rare.
Yeah, ever hear a woman screaming from an orgasm from a 3 1/2 incher? The statistic normally cited is that women mostly don't orgasm from penetration, and the correct response would be the orgasm percentage from different sizes. Of course, likely, guys with bigger ones will probably have more experience, but there would be some way to normalize that. Another common response is oral or to use tools. That is admitting it without admitting it. Does a 4 inch thin penis feel as good with the same skill same person than a 7 inch thicker girth? Studies have actually shown size does matter but not by directly asking them yes or no but instead pointing to different objects representing penis sizes and the most picked one was around 7ish inches well above the average.
“For better or worse”
“My door is always open” or “I’m just here to help “
Your vote counts. Not a single politician I have ever voted for ever made it into office.
It will get better.
If you work hard you'll be successful
Then you grow older and find in out you ALSO had to be lucky.
Having rich parents makes a big difference, but they try to convince you their success was completely due to hard work and talent.
Very lucky and hard working*
"Be a good person and people will recognize it and be good to you in return". I still haven't given up on it, but feel like a fool for following that advice. Few and far between has it rung true.
That one hurt so badly
I had a roommate who to this day claims he served in the Canadian military on a Canadian military base in Russia during the war in Afghanistan in the early 2000s. He was in the military I seen an ID. But the rest is just stupid.
I’m a trucker, I delivered to a guy who would tell me about his daughter, one day my wife starts telling me about this guy who got caught faking he had a daughter and receiving money for it. I immediately thought of this guy. So I googled it, sure as shit it’s him! He got fired from his job. Always struck me as a creep.
I will help you and keep your information safe you will get the medical treatment you need. Don’t worry it’s safe. Or was this the bigger lie Justice will be seen you will get money for what happened I’m sorry this happened to you.
Work hard, go to school, get good grades, get a job, work for 40 years
You’ll have a great retirement.
In this economy, even that is debatable. We're definitely on the road to work until you pay to be put in the ground.
I did all those things. The alternative is worse.
He’s just a friend.
"All sex offenders are male, a woman would never do that to you"
Whomever told you this has never heard of the sisters of mercy.
Understanding Santa Clause wasn't real was the day that broke my spirit. I remember it well. I was 57 years old.
"If the McDonald's sign is lit up it means they've run out of food"
Mr Whippy (or whatever your local equivalent is) plays the music to let you know they've run out of ice-cream.
Work hard, do the right things and you will be successful. BS.....
That hard work is appreciated and will be recognized.
Buying a house (PPOR) is a good idea.
Hibernation is where the bear sleeps for 6 months….
"Doctor told me I'm infertile."
"Your call is important to us"
The election was stolen
That he was single
My dad told me we had Natuve American relatives,,,, 23 and Me says otherwise
With the exception of my late husband...."I love you"
“I’ll Make America Great Again”
To follow your dreams.
American dream yadda yadda yadda.
you can’t turn the front light on in the car bc it’s illEGalLL
You'll make Lots of money In the trades and be financially independent long before your body breaks down from the abuse.
For 10 years my parents told me there was a Santa Claus.....how am I ever supposed to believe them again 🫣
"you're handsome"-grandma
Til death do us part….
If you work hard, you will succeed.
Life will get happier once you start earning.
“Safe and effective “
We doing this (workplace discipline) to protect you.
Work hard and become wealthy
"You can trust me."
My parents told me that the ice cream van was actually called the singing van when I was very young as to deter me from constantly asking for ice cream when I heard it. I was too young to remember but it made me laugh when my mum told me years later
"The American Dream"
I was just kidding.
I'm not God.
That with age comes wisdom.
Check is in the mail you are beautiful and I promise not to cum in your mouth !
That I’m loved. But you wouldn’t treat someone you love with emotional and verbal abuse.
Bible stuff..really? Jonah was swallowed by a whale?
You control your destiny
When people say you can only depend on yourself. A lot of the time your worst enemy that’s sabotaging you is the person in the mirror.
"Joe Biden stole the 2020 election from Donald Trump!"
Circumcision is good for you!
When my mother told me she loved me.
"Be quiet, you're scaring the fish away." Only realised this at 20 odd years of age that this is bullshit. Parents say this to kids so they shut up lol.
My dad always said that and i believed him until i just read this. He also told me i could jump off the boat because there are no sharks in the bay. I found out that there are sharks in the bay, bull sharks, one of the meanest kind.
I’m busy.
To be honest
I love you.
"I only have eyes for you". Bullshit!
That there is a woman out there looking for me to be her future husband
Oh she exists. Just don't expect it to be forever. You have what is known in the business as... "champagne taste and beer budget" Female company, like fast cars and good food comes in many price ranges and effort levels. Don't shop for a Hellcat if you can only affort to maintain a Nissan
Someone told me he has B12 cancer for pit's sake. I didn't know what to say except damn I'm dealing with a pathological liar
"I love you"
I once told a huge lie that my preacher talked dirty to me that was a huge lie he actually fukd my ass when I was 14 so they actually didn't do anything to him said it was my imagination.yeah I'm just imagining his COC just slipped inside me and made me gape.
Wtf did I just read? What a day to be literate.
Wait… wtf. So you did or didn’t lie about what happened? I’m confused
Catfished my first girlfriend when I was in middle school 💀
Life will get better in the future
"There's nothing wrong, I'm fine" when they're obviously not fine
You don't have to walk a mile in my shoes, you can see from miles away I'm a wreck 🤣😂
That the man who raised me my whole life and I carry the name of was my father when he biologically was not. Found out around 22 years old. I haven’t been the same since.
Do you love him as a father?
I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed.
You can be anything you put your mind to.
It's hurting me more than it hurts you. I call BS on that. 🤷🤷
That my momma was so fat.
“It’s sooo biggg”
That Oswald acted alone
That I’ve read the terms and conditions
Having children ruins your body It doesn’t
That blood is everything.
That you spoil your children if you don't spank them.
Adults had me freaking out as a kid cuz of Y2K and the world was going to end. 🥺
We're helping you.
This survey is anonymous
I’ll never leave you.
That the carrots is good for the eye sight. A very big lie.
That because a terrorist organization residing in Afghanistan attacked the U.S., we needed to invade Iraq.
Racism don't exist
“ I’m fine “
that university was going to be the best years of my life
That Christianity is about helping the poor and sick.
Humans are inherently good.
Christianity 🤣
My work colleague tops himself every week with a new "biggest lie." Last week's biggest lie: "I'm paralyzed on the entire left side of my body. I'm going to see a doctor. " Shows up to work the following day as if nothing had happened. He's an alcoholic and pill addict who calls in "sick" 65+ days a year, always delivering the most outlandish excuses. We now play "excuses bingo" at work...
A college degree is a valuable investment.
Good people succeed, bad people go to jail.
That cutting off part of someone else's penis isn't a human rights violation. And I'll never shut the fuck up about it.
ignore them and they'll stop bullying you 😐😒
Work hard and you will move up in the world
That bullying won't be tolerated in schools. It's not only tolerated, it's encouraged by the use of whole class detentions for individual rule breaking. The teacher knows that if they keep the whole class at breaktime because one child was talking, that one kid will get shit from his classmates. Also that's why schools refer to physical bullying as an "incident " rather than an assault
It will get better
If I worked hard, I would be rewarded for my efforts. 8 years passed over for every promotion. Now I do just enough not to get fired
God is real
You are a valued employee and your opinion matters.
Usa have been on the moon 🤣 if it's a lie
When you grow up you'll have a girlfriend
If I'm nice to people, people will be nice to me
‘I’m not seeing someone else behind your back’ Spoiler: she was.
Men are hornier than women.
That everything was gonna be alright.
My math teacher in elementary school told me.. you need to learn to do math, cuz you wont always have a calculator at your hand
Being 6'5, I'll be knee deep in super models.
Well, the funniest one I was told was if I ate my greens and drank my milk, I’d grow up big and tall. I’m 5’1. Both my younger siblings are over 5’7 and they did NOT eat their greens or drink their milk, but I did. It’s not fair. Lol
That a college degree is the answer to a prosperous future. 😂
I was told there is an invisible man looking down upon all of us and if we don't do as he wishes, we go to hell and burn. And he is also created everything we see, which is not a good job. And all good and positive things we should thank him. But all the terrible and awful things.. well, he works in mysterious ways. What a load of BS.
That Joe Biden would be a better president than Donald Trump
The baby is yours
Covid.