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Yea my dealer says that too 😆 - seriously though good on you, I was homeless myself once and on the meth 24/7 but in a warmer county, sleeping out in the UK must be shit.
I didn’t have a stable life as a child. Was fostered and adopted, but that didn’t last they put me back in the care system. By the time I was a teenager I was properly unhinged. Got locked up at 19 committing crimes to feed myself. Got out went to college played around for a bit finally I started to build my business got registered as a company signed up for wholesalers got my trading card and correct licenses. Invested in some stock. And here we are today.
Found out my partner was cheating. He bought her a ring with my money, she posted it on FB with a lovey-dovey caption gushing about him. I confront him, he denies it. A few months later, guess who is pregnant and claims that it’s his. Again, I confront him, again he denies it. Not too long after that, I find out he’s been severely beating and abusing her, to the point where she now has a TBI and is unable to care for her baby. In August of that year, he unalived himself by jumping from a bridge. He wasn’t found for several days, and had to be identified by dental records. So now, not only did he cheat, he got her pregnant, beat the hell out of her, and now he’s dead. Not only was it grief for myself, but it was grief for her and their little boy, who now has neither of his parents. That was 2016 and I’ve somewhat healed, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be who I was before all of that happened.
Jfc, was also gonna say my lowest point ever was when I found out my ex-fiancée cheated, but your situation was so much worse. Sorry, hope you can find a way to heal from all that.
Sorry, I always struggle with understanding the cycle of abuse. It’s easy for me as an outsider to just think, why would you even bother being upset that this loser found someone else. But I know it’s more complicated than that. That must have been a hard experience, and I’m glad you are away from him.
2020. I got let go from my job, everyone I knew was furloughed. The only job I found was cleaning the hospital - during a pandemic. I cleaned everything, but the worst were the basement men's toilets. Think about the junkies locking themselves in there...
I looked at myself in the mirror whilst scrubbing it, the room filled with stench and I started to cry. My wedding had been cancelled and we lost the money due to the pandemic. I'd lost the job I'd left everything for. I had 2 degrees from one of the top universities in the world and I somehow ended up there for 6 months.
I think what made it worse was to help out with rent, I did a nightshift job sometimes in a freezing cold depot where everyone only spoke Portuguese except me.
I was 23f at the time. I'm still resentful over that period of my life honestly. The world played me.
This will pass- things will calm down, time will heal all. No matter wat happened, your kids will always love you. Take care of yourself and be better for them.
Start with morning jogs and cold showers 🚿 they helped me getting over grieving once
My dude. Do nothing. Boredom will guide you. Don’t play games or any reddit/internet. True boredom is what will reboot your brain. It will force you to find a problem to solve.
The others are right. And I'll do you more. I was unemployed for almost a year from a debilitating injury. Dealing with being broke and broken and a father. It's rough. The thing is that it sucks being under the grindstone. You either break or come out something more beautiful than you could imagine.
Also, read the book “Do Nothing” by Celeste Headlee. It might help you realize that our society has put a huge emphasis on determining your self worth by your job/career, as well as this isn’t how things were supposed to be.
This honestly doesn't work for everyone. I managed to get an anxiety disorder because honestly I was just bored and had nothing to occupy my mind. As soon as I threw myself into a leadership position where I had to manage a team of people (outside my day job), my anxiety has mostly gone and I can fall asleep in minutes again.
I get where you are coming from. Been in those shoes and it truly sucks. My suggestion... Make your bed. For a month just make your bed. Next month... Make your bed and get dressed before noon. And ever month after that...add one small thing.
If you need... Message me. You got this. Father of 3 boys here.
This was my dad's exact situation about a decade ago. My mother drug his name through the dirt and he had to flee the state in bankruptcy and live with his elderly mother at 55. I was no contact of course because I only had my mother's story to go off of.
He told me the only thing that kept him going was the thought of me and my sister being deprived of a father, regardless of the situation at the time. I'm so glad he didn't take his life. For your future kids sakes man keep pushing on. One day things will balance out.
Hey message me if you need to talk. I lost contact with my kid for four years after the split. Lost my job, my savings, retirement, house, been homeless for a year and a half. Actually reunited with my kid a few months back and we are living together in a hotel while I look for a place. I know exactly what living to die is like, the waking nightmare. I'm here just give me a shout.
Now. Lost job in Feb. Still struggling to find another. Money running out. Family needs to be looked after. I've never felt more defeated then I do now.
Try to stay positive! I was laid off for 7 months last year and to say it was difficult is an understatement. Unemployment ran dry, used up all my savings, had to pull money out of my 401K.
The job market is rough nowadays, but you will find something!
My son was diagnosed with brain cancer when he was 6. We never really got out of it, we have just learned to live with it. But following that low point, I was unemployed, Covid happened, couldn’t find work. I spent a ton of time in therapy trying to manage the panic attacks, and eventually over time it just got better. Still hurts. But each day we think about it a little less. It’s been just over 5 years since diagnosis and he’s doing okay.
Same, and i am an only child and was raised by my single father. In the few years since he's died his entire side of the family has now died too - it was almost some weird domino effect that started with him. It's just me and my cousin left.
Losing my baby.
Man that ripped a fucking hole in my heart. The days were dark, the nights were dark. I couldnt talk to anyone about it and even if I did noone gave a fuck.
There's so much stuff thats happened lately that I am not allowed to talk about else il be judged. People expect perfection from me when its only ME that gets to do that.
This world is cold. I have one child and im done. Not doing it again. Losing my 2nd fucking hurt.
Dont worry mate. That was the cherry on a massive turd of a cake :)
I'm not allowed to talk about my feelings because theyre invalid so dont worry I wont elaborate. Ima just bottle it up unhealthily.
Edit: someone reported me in a good way as theyre concerned about me. I been waiting for therapy for 4 months and when I finally got it she spent 30mins asking me questions about safeguarding.
If it wasnt for my daughter id be dead right now.
Fuck this life.
The year before I quit drinking. I stopped being able to work, I barely ate anything and threw up every day when I woke up. I lost count of how many times I ended up in the hospital.
It was when my dad got diagnosed with cancer and watching him die in such a short time span. And after he died I lost my job cause his death really sent me down a hole. I'm a bit better now at least. This was a year ago
The last 6 years and now.
Diagnosed with cancer in 2017, had a major operation to remove it. Just started to feel well enough after the operation to leave the house after 18 months then covid hit so spent 3+ years indoors total (I live alone).
Operation has left me with long term persistent pain so cancer has gone but my body is an absolute mess. I'm in constant pain, like every second of every minute.
Been ghosted by friends and family because I'm not convenient anymore. Can't go out much, can't work, can't enjoy much.
Ptsd has kicked my arse over those years too. Any scenes of surgery freak me the hell out and certain words to describe body parts get me all shaky and messed up.
I don't want to kill myself because I do have people that care about me but I don't want to do it anymore and if there was a magic button I could press that would make me cease to exist without anyone being upset I'd be hitting it like I was playing hungry hippos.
Fuck cancer and fuck pain.
21 years old, college, sleeping in my friends room on a futon after a breakup, broke as fuck.
Woke up on the day of a midterm and one of our roommates was dead on the couch from drugs.
Kinda went nuts for a while after that.
Please hang in there. Try to find something that you like. Even adopt a pet (cat, dog, whatever) something that you can care for and will help you find some love. Hang in there
Last year was homeless. Started having panic attacks and blood pressure went up due to stress. I was paying for prescriptions and Dr visits out of pocket. Spent all my savings doing so. Didn't know where my next meal would come from at one point. Had no one to talk to or turn to. I wanted to check out n just end it all but I couldn't go out without a fight so I kept pushing..
When I was 8 and 9 y/o.
I was bullied, school was too easy and I was stuck in a porn addiction. Tried to commit suicide several times with a kitchen knife.
I'm turning 17 soon, and I'm much happier than most 17 y/o guys out there.
When my college girlfriend left me for another dude.
We lived in the same dorm. We had the same friend group. We worked together. It was torture every single day having to see her sitting in the lobby with her head in his lap, or walking out of the dorm together hand-in-hand.
It was a week before Thanksgiving, too. I had told my whole family I was going to bring her to meet them. Instead, I drove around my city with so many tears in my eyes that my vision was so blurry that I could not see out of my windshield, and I pretended she was sitting next to me anyways, and I would tell her all about the places we would drive by. But she wasn’t really there. She was back on campus, sleeping with him.
I am not looking for sympathy, but I have 3.
1-When I was 6, my mama committed suicide. The day I was told (I was in a foster home), I was sitting on the back steps crying, and my foster mom opened the back door and yelled, "QUIT YOUR FUCKIN WAILING!!" The day of the funeral, while my foster mom was helping me get dressed, she pulled my penis out of my zipper hole of the pants and aggressively pulled it until it cut on the zipper, because I had told her that morning that her father put his hand under my blanket after singing all of us to sleep. At the funeral, I told the social worker, and she told me to "Be brave and hang in there" because I was moving to my mama's brother's soon. It happened 2 more times while I was bathing. What really made me feel worthless was when I moved to my uncle's house, I was at Sunday school, and I told the priest named Ralph Rowe that my mama just died, so he kept me afterwards for "prayer and healing" and raped me. He is considered to be one of Canada's most prolific pedophiles.
2-When I was 18, I beat a child molester to death because I never dealt with what happened to me, and I got 6 years for manslaughter and met a bunch of drug dealers in there and when I got out I started selling drugs and eventually sold a kilo of coke to an undercover cop because I'm a damn idiot. Haha. I got 6 years for that, too.
3-Once I was out, the world got me back for selling drugs, and at the age of 34, I became an addict. I eventually was introduced to fentanyl and became a homeless addict for 6 years.
I was in the hospital waiting for my last social assistance cheque so I could spend it all on fentanyl and say goodbye to the world. 3 days before that cheque, my ex-wife reached out to me after not speaking for 2 years and told me that she had a bad dream about me and she was worried about me and she still loved me. The very next day, my former foster father (from an actual great foster home) reached out, and after not speaking for 2 and a half years, he said that I cross their minds often and that they loved me. I decided that wasn't just a coincidence, so I thought I would give life one more try.
March 18 was my 2 years clean mark. I've had my current job for almost 2 years, and my kids are back in my life, and my ex-wife and I are getting remarried this year. Also, I now do public speaking about my life, addiction, and recovery in hopes of helping people avoid the shitty decisions I made and also to give hope to active addicts that there is a way out.
My life is perfect now, and that's why I said I'm not looking for sympathy. Life is good, my Reddit friends.
Had a bad back for 15 years with numb leg and sciatica. Numerous times off sick at work, sometimes for months at a time. Had scans, x-rays, physio etc and nobody could figure it out. My life during that time was work and lie down as I couldn’t manage anything else. Had a flare up towards the end of this and was struggling to get dressed to go to work. I bent over to put a shoe on and fell over and my whole world just crashed in around me. I gave up mentally and physically. It completely broke me. Had another few months off work and then saw a physiotherapist from occupational health that my work assigned me to. After a couple of appointments he was like a dog with a bone and so determined to find out what was wrong.
He then figured something out and pressed into a bit of my back for about 90 seconds (he said the previous record was 65) and I felt a wave of what felt like hot water going down my leg and I’ve never looked back since. Pity it took so long for someone to figure it out as it seemed like a simple fix.
Stuck without a job thru 2022-23 with an incredibly toxic parent.
I am never going back to that old family house, I'm abroad, alone, in a richer country and happy with a new job. It's been months and I'd gladly stay for many years.
Nothing hurts more than being hurt by your closest of kin, because even if it happens a 1000 times it will always sneak up on you as a morally good person. (I was born good, I can never truly get out of it, and I'll always believe in people more than I believe in myself, I can't get out of that one either except for the most important things such as my own health and success, I'm finally putting them at top priority since I'm all alone)
I wanted to d!e for such a long time and many dark thoughts went thru my head, but willpower and luck eventually took over and I found a job after searching and applying for months. One interview and I got in. And I like it.
Going through it right now with no motivation because I take one step forward and five back.
I was diagnosed with end-stage renal disease last year and am now on dialysis 6 days a week for 4 hours per treatment. My husband recently lost his job and I can't work because of said treatments. I'm also brand new to Canada and haven't even been here two years.
I'm honestly considering medically assisted death because I'm fucking sick of this.
Was? Iv just turned 60 and can't work anymore. I'm living on a benefit which just pays my bills BUT no money to do anything else!!. I'm afraid of dying from boredom.
Post divorce, 2006. I was absolutely lost. It took about 3 years to crawl out of that hole. I just had literally Nothing. No friends. No job. Just no will to live for awhile there, no direction-it was terrible. I had to quite literally put one foot in front of the other and remind myself to breathe in and out some days. I got up, got a job. Made myself live life, but I’d say i was not fully present in any of it for at least 2 years. I barely remember that time, and I no longer talk to any of the people i was friends with then. Around the end of year 3 i started to feel like a human again, started to enjoy things again. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
Debilitating motorcycle accident, gf was cheating, mom died a horrible death. I was on the couch downing prescription Xanax, Vodka and pay per view. I healed up, hit the gym hard, no bullshit….bought a Ferrari and the toughest thing…quitting that fucking Xanax. Funny, I was never suicidal but I sure had a stomach ache and trouble sleeping. This was 12 years ago for context. My ex, unfortunately isnt doing too well. Her life choices didn’t turn out well.
When I was in high school I tried to kill myself a couple of times because I was/am super depressed. I only really stopped because killing yourself is kinda difficult if you don’t do it right and fuck it hurts when you survive and leaves you with some detrimental health issues.
The lowest point in my 15 years of existence was being sent off to an eating disorder residential over 6 hours away from my family with no friends and a 10-minute phone call a day. I was forced to recover and the only thing keeping me from going back to restricting is the trauma and fear of being sent back there.
I also used to have an eating disorder (AN). I've physically recovered but that doesn't mean my brain just magically accepts the way I look. Being a distance runner keeps me from relapsing because I love it and I want to have the energy to keep doing it for a long time for me and for my team. 🤍
I'm so proud of you, that is so great that you have something to be so passionate about to keep you going. I agree acceptance is one of the hardest things, I still struggle with it alot. Being a distance runner is so cool keep going. I can already tell you are awesome!💖
Had some trauma from work (law enforcement) and ended up calling "911" (Im not American) and said I was worried that I wanted to end it all, and this was the only number I could think of calling.
They were very good, and bad, in responding as they sent an ambulance and two cops, the cops coming first and me being a former cop (which they knew) become very much opposed to this idea, Im NOT going in cuffs - then I rather you all leave and Ill deal with it some other way. But the cops insisted, so I ended up fighting them both with the result of them leaving my property saying "you do understand we will come back with backup?" they did, and I was forcefully sent to a hospital for 48 hours because the police was quote "scared of me and what I could do"
When I got to that hospital and they gave me room, first thing I did was break open the window with a wet towel twisting around the locks and the doctor came in: "hey, Im not going to fight you.... if you want to break out that window, you clearly can and know how..... but how far will you get before three police cars will stop you? Let talk, no?"
That was the absolute worst lowest point in my life. But it helped, a lot. Those 48 hours with doctors, seeing other patients with MUCH worse stuff going on than me and on gave me perspective on a lot.
I wouldn't say I had no clue if I got out of it... but I was prepared for it, and prepared for a really bumpy ride... and for sure one of the darkest periods in my life
Lived my parents, and both died (2015, 2017 respectively), and I inherited their house with a huge unpaid mortage. I lived with them, because disability, no savings, shitty housingmarket in my country .... House was a mess... 2018, central heating broke down with no money to pay for it. Just to illustrate the state of the house.
Aaaaaaanyway.... december 2019, bank sent the repo office... unpaid mortage, wanted it paid asap. Couldn't pay it, so corona hit and I was about to be evicted. With a lawyer I could postpone since lockdown just happened in my country... but late october 2020 the house got sold in a blind auction; and luckily the new buyer gave me a month to get my stuff and put it in storage or something... but december 1st, in the middle of the pandemic I ended up homeless. In debt...
How I got out? There is a shelter in another city here, and I went there, and they let me stay there, got my paperwork sorted out, almost broke even on the sale of the house... and it was an overbid; so over 100k in unpaid mortgage covered... ended up with less than 5k in debt when all was cleared. Survived in that shelter... and I've seen shit there for sure, for about 9 months till august 2021. Because I wasn't an addict and had my paperwork in order (even when I first got there, I had it all in folders and sorted), I was an easy case to help and with a social housing firm get an appartment for me. It just took 9 months because of 'rona... that was a mess for a lot of social workers.
Was I stressed? Absolutely...and that shelter didn't really do a lot of good for my mental health. Picked up way more "streetskills" than most people should know, worked on my social skills... so it wasn't terrible all the time... but it taxing for sure. The social workers in the shelter at one point told me; it's remarkeable when people get out of a shelter and not end up with an addiction in the process...(and I got out clean; went in clean as well though)
Currently, I'm living in that same appartment as I got 2,5 years ago, and spent most of my days making art. So I got out relatively well... almost debt free. So my life is looking good... probably even way better than in 2018-2019...
I was working at an ethanol plant that suddenly shut down without warning (showed up to work one day and gate was locked shut). I ended up working at a power plant in the Nevada desert where we were isolated did everything ourselves. We had a fire, we were the firefighters. We needed a road, we were the construction crew. I worked in conditions inside boilers that melted the soles and cracked the leather of my work boots and made me cough up black ash and blood. And got constantly called in on my days off and flip-flopped between day and nightshifts. I worked there for 5 years until getting a much better job that pays better. During my last year there I was severely depressed and stopped cleaning my apartment or taking care of myself.
I feel like it’s hard to talk to people about it because they think I’m exaggerating and/or don’t believe places in the U.S. have conditions like that or that I could have taken legal action against the company (maybe I could have but I didn’t know how or have much resources).
Probably the first 3 years of university, when I was dealing not only with all the regular pressures of moving out, balancing study and work, living with flatmates etc, but I was also trying to cope with my diagnosis of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.
Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome is a connective tissue disorder. There are 13 types, but I have the most common type, which affects my joints. My joints are hypermobile to the point where they cause a lot of pain. My muscles work much harder than a normal person's just to keep my joints in place. My knees bend backwards when I walk, causing back and hip pain. I get bursitis and other painful complications because of the way my joints move.
Now, I've been living with my symptoms for over a decade, and have found ways to manage them and make my life comfortable. Back then, I didn't have any self-management techniques, no support from doctors, no advice. I used crutches or a stick to get to and from classes, was often in so much pain just from walking that I'd burst into tears, and had hardly any energy to work in between. I just cried all the time, and took lots of codeine, and felt awful. At one point, the only thing that stopped me from taking my own life was the thought of how upset my mum would be.
What got me through? My faith. I'd always been a Christian, but God really dragged me through that period of my life. I came across a Bible passage (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) which helped me to understand the purpose of my pain, the joy in my struggle. Now, when I have bad days, I'm able to see the big picture, and rejoice in it.
Right now. Been like that for the last 6 years… only getting worse. I dont even want life to get better at this point… just want it to end cus if it did fix itself it would still be terrible
Once my dad was unable to afford wifi, internet, cable, or a car so we watched bootleg movies, recorded songs off the radio, and took a taxi most places. For some 4 years
Moved to egypt with my family when i was 16. I skipped school so no school for 2 years and no socialization i had extreme social anxiety. I only aat in my room on my ipad every day 15 hours a day. Often times til the sun came up typa thing. I was very sucidal..
Lost my job a month ago, went on a drug and sex binge. I’m currently recovering all the drugs and alcohol I abused. Feel lonely and like burden. I have great people who love me and are there for me who I should fight for.
I was worse before stuck in a loop of degrading mental health, a very bad and visible breakup and an exam that was gonna determine the course of my life, literally handled each of them in worst way imaginable suffered a complete mental breakdown, did something I still regret (although my dad covered it) and just completely fucked life over, I am kind of in a bad point rn as well, but nothing compares to those years, God clearly gave up on me back then
Thanking the concerned redditor who reached to r/RedditCareResources ,whosoever he/she is, is a hero, I dunno if we ever meet, but I would like to buy that person a drink sometime. Again thank you very much!
Met this girl. She destroyed my life and was a felon. She made me burn bridges with my family and friends and her and her two friends and i were living out of my car. One of them was a minor, i had just turned 18. She cheated on me with her and i found out and she kept manipulating my reality into me believing it was going to stop, my fault or i was the reason she was doing it. They all made me see life differently and falsely as i paid for everything as i was the only one with a job. Bailed her out and she never paid me a penny back, the entire time i would find texts of her and them using me for money for hotel rooms, my car, food , money, etc. I had no one in my life so i stayed.
For me, my ex aborted my child in early 2023 and it made me get sober and a job so it never happens to me again.
In her defense I was a raging fentanyl addict and my getting sober couldn't be predicted anyways.
Shit happens. Been sober since august of last year.
When I left my abusive marriage aged 25 with nothing. Zero funds, I didn’t take any household items or my car. Just my clothes and my dog. I didn’t even have any superannuation anymore after we could withdraw it during the pandemic and he spent it on shit we didn’t need.
The embarrassment and shame was awful.
About 5 really bad ones.
After a very turbulent, traumatic, childhood i was the victim of a violent sexual assault as a teen. Because of my homelife, police put me in "protective custody. " (It was the local jail.) It was the 1960's., thank God things changed.
Another time i was almost homeless, jobless and had a 5 y o. I remember looking out at the tree in front of the house (I was being evicted from) thinking about hanging myself from it. Seriously thinking about it. I was 22.
One was a bout of depression which only lasted a few months and never came back. But I remember even brushing my teeth required herculean effort. A short use of antidepressants worked. But oh, those were some tough months.
The last of my don't-think-Ill-live-through- this times was 40 years ago when I lost my savior-hubby. I was 31. A year later i married the husband i have now, had another child and have never looked back. I went on to get a degree, had a successful life, and am currently retired living a beautiful life. My life is full and I'm healthy.
Thanks for reading. Now, you don't have to buy the book! Lol
Don't give up. You never know what lies around the corner. And yeah, make your bed.
Just after my miscarriage. Thankfully my life didn't end when I wanted it to, I owe that to my immediate family and my boyfriend, they knew what I needed and when, thank god.
2023!! I was hurt quite bad in a head-on car crash in September. The pain and frustration has been pretty tough, but hey, I am still here!! My love to all who are struggling.
Finding out I can’t nor never will have kids. I know we can adopt, but damn. It’s been 10 years and I am good with it now, but when I first found out. Yeah.
I got sick so bad I stayed at hospital for 3 weeks. It doesn't even feel like it was me when I think about it right now. It's like someone replaced me and lived those 3 weeks.
I wasn't even able to get up from the bed without struggling breathing.
Living it right now.
Got in a car crash, I dislocated my left knee, left hip ( twice….), fractured left fibula, and cracked ribs 1-6.
Lost my job, lost insurance, lost girlfriend, lost life savings, definitely lost the car, currently lost ability to walk and therefore lost most of my independence. My left foot feels like it’s numb all the time, especially when walking. I can put weight on my leg but can’t bend my knee past like 10-20* when standing, when laying down it’s gone up to 40*. Left quad atrophied like a bitch so I’m working on getting that strength back.
Going from fully independent to 6 surgeries ( two emergency ) and having someone help wipe your ass when you poop in a bedpan is demoralizing. Plus like the entire hospital has seen me naked at one point or another, so on a plus side no more reservations about public nudity.
What am I doing to get out of it? Doing physical therapy on my own because Medicaid only allows like 2 a week. I’m in an assisted living facility and I want to get the fuck out.
I’m younger too…..fuck my life right? I’ve missed every major holiday from Halloween through Easter so far.
Around Christmastime 2013, PTSD reared it's ugly head and due to anxiety and depression I wasn't able to work. The drs office filed my paperwork late to my company for short term disability so I didn't get paid for six months. I had to live off of credit cards (food, normal bills, mortgage, car payment). I'm still in the process of paying them off. Eventually in 2014 I had to quit my job, do a short sale on my place and move back to my home state. I lost everything that I enjoyed due to PTSD that waited years to raise it's ugly head. I found myself suicidal and was harming myself. It was such a terrible time. I'm not anywhere near how good I was over 12 years ago, but due to meds and therapy I'm not as bad as I was around 11 years ago.
Being held hostage for 7 months by my ex who was extremely violent with me, almost killed me 33+ times, raped me a lot, and kept me high. It’s been 5 months since I escaped and I’m healing and sober and happy again and restarting my life ❤️
I think it was that time in my early twenties when I drank myself into oblivion every other night and let any dude who crossed my way abuse me because I felt worthless.
I still feel worthless and get drunk consistently, but at least I do it at home now, alone and safe.
A few years ago when I realized everyone I know was lying about me and everyone who wasn’t was harassed away by the people that were surrounding me lying.
Why is it not enough for some people to just not personally like you? Why must they try and turn everyone they know against you too… like fuck man, grow up.
It was 2020, I was 16, there was COVID, got raped, became an alcoholic, i fell into depression, tried to kms, lost all my friends, my dad almost died and i got locked up in a psych ward for around 2 months lol
It’s dumb when I think about it. Feeling alone when I was in HS. I lived in a middle of nowhere. Couldn’t even get phone service with my provider. Couldn’t talk to friends. Lived with dad T-Friday. Saturday-Monday with mom in a city so I was more comfortable there. I had no reason to think this way bc I wasn’t abused or anything like that but I wanted to end it all. Pro Wrestling saved me. Gave me something to focus on. Never went to that dark place ever again.
Tomorrow. Filing for Chapter 13 to keep my house from being foreclosed on. I’ve been in a relationship that has stripped every ounce of self esteem out of my body. I am self employed and haven’t worked a lot in the past year because of a lot of depression. At this point I feel like an absolute failure. I take 100% responsibility for my choices and decisions and am thankful for supportive parents. But the next couple of years are going to be very tough to dig out of and I’m afraid.
I am in med school. Got held back a year because I got into smoking pot and bad influences. Been trying to redeem myself ever since. Now it is the start of a new year and I desperately just want to have a glimmer of success so I can assure myself I can make it. My father is not willing to fund my education anymore as he believes I'm an addict and don't have what it takes to excel in this field.
Just trying to prove him wrong and build my reputation back up
I'm there right now....debts piling up, not enough hours in the day to work to get ahead of it. Feel very much like taking a long walk with a short rope.
Outlook bleak.
my entire life ive lived with controlling parents i have done nothing i know im capable of doing great but since i have been living like this my entire life its like ive forgotten how to live i dont believe in mysellf anymore (i havent gotten out of this situation will update when i do:D)
I'm disabled and mentally screwed I keep killing myself. Anyways right nows my lowest point and it sucks I have nothing to myself I can't work I get government assistance which only pays my rent, and trying to get disability as I physically can't work. Anyways I'm getting help for my mental health but that doesnt help my financial stress. I miss food.
Family poured acid on me because they viewed me as "unclean" due to my long hair(which I'm growing out to donate to wigs for cancer). I'm not even gay, I'm just not masculine enough for them.
I was at University when I had a mental breakdown, got put into the psyche ward. This is in Calgary, Canada. The psych ward was like a prison, they shoved me in a room and ignored me, while taking away my video games which were a pretty central coping mechanism. The nurses were so cold.
When I finally got the courage to text the rest of my family, telling them where I was, they called me a liar and manipulator.
I broke down. I just wanted someone to talk to, someone to believe me. I begged the nurses to talk to me, to pay attention to me. They said they couldn't, that they had other patients to pay attention to and it was selfish to want to monopolize attention.
So, tears in my eyes, I begged the security guards to pay attention to me. I just wanted someone to talk to. They said that wasn't their job.
So I went back to my room in the ward, one with heavy metal doors. I laid my head down between the frame and tried to slam the door on my head.
After a few hits I chickened out, I couldn't do it, couldn't bear the pain. I just so desperately wanted attention, so I cried "somebody help me, please!"
Security came, and put opon a smile. They said "let's go to a room and talk"
Hoping to finally have some positive human connection, I followed them. They put me in a room and said they'd be back.
I waited patiently, and waited longer. When it became clear nobody was coming back, I yelled. Asked what was happening, where was everybody? It was revealed I was in an isolation room. I had been tricked.
I'm not a violent man. I tend to hurt inwardly rather than outwardly, but in this room my ability to hurt myself had been taken away. So I bashed on the plastic window of the door. Little did I know the window was reinforced, still to this day I find myself surprised how strong one can make a otherwise disarming looking window. But I bashed, and kicked, and threw myself to try and escape this prison that I had willingly admitted myself into because I thought I'd find help there.
I wailed until I couldn't stand anymore. And when I was physically exhausted, I cried, continued to beg for somebody, anybody to just talk to me. That's all I really wanted, I had been starved for so long for positive attention, I just wanted somebody to tell my story to. But eventually I passed out.
The next day I was so numb afterwards. I went back to my normal room and spent the next week just sleeping. I waited out my psych ward stay, they did nothing to help me there. No therapy, no talking, no attention. They released me with me having nothing to show for it except a little more truama.
I cut connection with my family and moved into campus residence. It's a few months passed now and I admit, I'm still not doing great. Despite my best efforts, I still find myself socially stunted. Nobody loves me.
I'm a student governor for my University's student society, part of many clubs and president of the RAC, but I still struggle with social awkwardness and no girl is willing to give me a chance. Perhaps thinking a lover would heal me is foolish and misguided, but cutting off my family has left an emotional hole I don't know how else to fill.
I just want to be hugged...
It doesn't much matter anyways. I've exhausted the mental health resources available to me. No matter how far I've achieved, I can't earn affection from anybody.
Something within me is fundamentally broken and I'm seriously contemplating suicide.
Was in a toxic relationship. He was an alcoholic and I had problems drinking too with him and I was a horrible person. I left him eventually and took a lot of healing, self reflection and now i am with an amazing man.
The time I was trying a new medication, it didn't go well, to say the least. I managed to stop taking it after a few weeks but it was well on its way to ruin my life.
Mentally: I feel deep into an existential depression when I was 16 and during that time I grew irrational, desperate and extremely antisocial and anxious. I mentally fell apart and lost control of my life and myself as I tried to figure it out, tried to figure out my life and its meaning. I lost my uncle, my grades fell apart and I almost lost scholarships but I managed cause I told myself something “keep going, it’ll be over one day”
Economically; my mother lost her job in 2019 just before the pandemic and afterwards we practically almost went bankrupt and had to use food banks. The only reason we weren’t homeless was because of my older sister who had enough to provide another month of rent before my mom managed to find another more stable job. Even young I understood it but still felt doubt and bad for myself but couldn’t tell my mom so because that would absolutely hurt her in the state we were in cause she couldn’t afford anything. I appreciate my mother entirely for being a mother who provided when nothing could be and gave me everything because she wanted to. I love my mom and every day make her proud by never hitting the ground and always going.
I owned a restaurant and ran it almost single handedly, with the man whom I was in an abusive relationship with. I was isolated, depressed, exhausted, hopeless, and was having suicidal thoughts.
The thing that changed it was when a friend of mine called the police one night when he showed up my friend’s house while I was hiding there from him after yet another fight.
It started a chain reaction I didn’t know I needed. I ended up getting a restraining order against him for both assault and stalking. I moved. I moved again. I moved again. I took a job out of state. Then a better job.
Now, 5 years later at age 40 I am the healthiest and happiest I’ve been in over a decade.
When I found out on NYE one year that my (now ex) husband was cheating on me with multiple women. I wasted 8 years of my life on a total fraud, and all I wanted to do was die. Thanks to my support system, I was able to heal and thrive. I guess I was stronger than I thought I was.
Even though I eventually healed, it changed me. It killed all my desire to want a romantic relationship. I was duped so bad that I'll never be able to trust again. The risk is not worth it to me. I like being alone; I don't have to worry about getting used and abused.
Honestly, I would say right now is my lowest and highest point. I say this because I’m living well, I have lots of good friends and I am enjoying what I’m doing but, at the same time I’m so lost. I have lots of things I want to do but I can’t figure out how to go about them. Anyways just a little rant.
Ironically, mentally, I was at my lowest when I was at my financial best. I was drinking, doing coke, ketamine, ecstasy, weed all at the same time, every day, while doing the things I normally do. For about I year I would get f* up everyday, drive to work, to the mall, hook up w ppl online. Then One day it just stopped. There was never any effort, I wasn't in financial distress, there was no man in the mirror moment, I didn't go to jail... I kinda just woke up one day and didn't have the urge to buy or use anymore.
Ive always been "Responsible". I went through a lot as a kid and in my teen adult years. I never did drugs because I never had the extra money for it. I guess once I had the extra disposable income, I started doing drugs to cope with a lot of trauma and pain.
Physically I was homeless in NYC for 8 months, sleeping outside, in and out of homeless shelters, etc. this was way before I started doing drugs.
I'm California sober now,
I came to Las Vegas clean, had a remote work job, a car and a savings. Within 6 months I was on the street and lost everything. I was living on the streets of Las Vegas and addicted to heroin. I got arrested and there was a man in the jail who had a bible. He prophesied to me that "The father is coming to take the son home to Jericho, the treasure city". I thought he was nuts but when I was released from jail my dad was waiting for me at the door to take me back to his house in California. I wasn't expecting him and at the time I didn't like him either. As he was driving me to the airport I asked if we could stop so I could pick up some things. He let me walk down to the storm tunnel I was living in to get the remainder of my things. The thing that he didn't know is that I had saved 80 dollars from money my mom put on my books. I was planning on going back to my drug lifestyle and ditching him.
I went down to the tunnel and lo and behold my friends were there and about to score. I was really happy about this and was going with them when all of this sudden..I had a moment of conscience. At that moment I just knew that I knew that I knew that God had sent my dad, and that if I honored my dad I would be honoring God. It was clear as day to me. At the time I had been searching for who God was and really did want to honor Him. So, in that moment I made a decision not to do it. I told them I wasn't going and I was going to quit. As soon as those words left my mouth there was a light in that tunnel, a spiritual light of the Holy Spirit. My friends, who were homeless heroin addicts, had joy on their faces. They were hugging me and congratulating me and telling me I was doing the right thing. At that moment I was completely delivered from the addiction to heroin. I had no desire to do it ever again. It was as if God took a wash rag and wiped off some dirt off my heart and it was gone. This was a turning point in my life and it helped to lead me to Jesus Christ. Who knows what would have happened if I had made the wrong choice. I thank God for rescuing me, thank you Jesus Amen!
I think my teenage years. Looking back at that, it was just typical teenage emo/depression phase. I got out of it by having future projects and a career.
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I’ve been in prison and homeless got myself out of that mess. I run a business now.
Thats amazing!
Why thank you.
What kind of business?
I sell food and spices in London.
Yea my dealer says that too 😆 - seriously though good on you, I was homeless myself once and on the meth 24/7 but in a warmer county, sleeping out in the UK must be shit.
Crack
Selling vitamins to anyone nearby
Same here, except the business part. But I'm living a good life now.
Good for you, bro. Happy for you!
Same!
That’s awesome. I’d love to hear your story. I feel it would be very inspiring
I didn’t have a stable life as a child. Was fostered and adopted, but that didn’t last they put me back in the care system. By the time I was a teenager I was properly unhinged. Got locked up at 19 committing crimes to feed myself. Got out went to college played around for a bit finally I started to build my business got registered as a company signed up for wholesalers got my trading card and correct licenses. Invested in some stock. And here we are today.
Found out my partner was cheating. He bought her a ring with my money, she posted it on FB with a lovey-dovey caption gushing about him. I confront him, he denies it. A few months later, guess who is pregnant and claims that it’s his. Again, I confront him, again he denies it. Not too long after that, I find out he’s been severely beating and abusing her, to the point where she now has a TBI and is unable to care for her baby. In August of that year, he unalived himself by jumping from a bridge. He wasn’t found for several days, and had to be identified by dental records. So now, not only did he cheat, he got her pregnant, beat the hell out of her, and now he’s dead. Not only was it grief for myself, but it was grief for her and their little boy, who now has neither of his parents. That was 2016 and I’ve somewhat healed, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be who I was before all of that happened.
Jfc, was also gonna say my lowest point ever was when I found out my ex-fiancée cheated, but your situation was so much worse. Sorry, hope you can find a way to heal from all that.
Thank you. I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. Time heals, it truly does!
Let’s be honest, he was beating you too.
I think that goes without saying
Sorry, I always struggle with understanding the cycle of abuse. It’s easy for me as an outsider to just think, why would you even bother being upset that this loser found someone else. But I know it’s more complicated than that. That must have been a hard experience, and I’m glad you are away from him.
Thinking you can fix someone, is a helluva drug. That’s a huge reason why people stay in abusive relationships.
Jesus christ. At least with mine it was easy.
Yeah…I definitely have PTSD and a host of other trauma-related issues from that chapter of my life
2020. I got let go from my job, everyone I knew was furloughed. The only job I found was cleaning the hospital - during a pandemic. I cleaned everything, but the worst were the basement men's toilets. Think about the junkies locking themselves in there... I looked at myself in the mirror whilst scrubbing it, the room filled with stench and I started to cry. My wedding had been cancelled and we lost the money due to the pandemic. I'd lost the job I'd left everything for. I had 2 degrees from one of the top universities in the world and I somehow ended up there for 6 months. I think what made it worse was to help out with rent, I did a nightshift job sometimes in a freezing cold depot where everyone only spoke Portuguese except me. I was 23f at the time. I'm still resentful over that period of my life honestly. The world played me.
Played us all. I’m sorry to hear about your struggles, and hope you’re doing better now
Thank you
This is very interesting. I'm interested to know how you got out of cleaning toilets
I went and got a third degree, now I'm working as a teacher
Well done. Your story can inspire people. Going back to studying is a massive thing and to see it through is a big achievement. Very well done.
Did you end up getting married later?
We did! We had a lockdown wedding in the end :)
I’m pleased to hear things are doing much better and well done to the strength you had to pull the hard yards when times were tough!
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This will pass- things will calm down, time will heal all. No matter wat happened, your kids will always love you. Take care of yourself and be better for them. Start with morning jogs and cold showers 🚿 they helped me getting over grieving once
My dude. Do nothing. Boredom will guide you. Don’t play games or any reddit/internet. True boredom is what will reboot your brain. It will force you to find a problem to solve.
I’ll try this.
I'm trying it and its working
He said on Reddit.
The others are right. And I'll do you more. I was unemployed for almost a year from a debilitating injury. Dealing with being broke and broken and a father. It's rough. The thing is that it sucks being under the grindstone. You either break or come out something more beautiful than you could imagine.
Also, read the book “Do Nothing” by Celeste Headlee. It might help you realize that our society has put a huge emphasis on determining your self worth by your job/career, as well as this isn’t how things were supposed to be.
This honestly doesn't work for everyone. I managed to get an anxiety disorder because honestly I was just bored and had nothing to occupy my mind. As soon as I threw myself into a leadership position where I had to manage a team of people (outside my day job), my anxiety has mostly gone and I can fall asleep in minutes again.
I mean… sounds like it worked? The idea is to push you out of depression/ listlessness.
Well I didn't do it because I was idle. It sorta fell in my lap and I realised that my mental health and insomnia improved when I was busy.
You can only go up from here
I get where you are coming from. Been in those shoes and it truly sucks. My suggestion... Make your bed. For a month just make your bed. Next month... Make your bed and get dressed before noon. And ever month after that...add one small thing. If you need... Message me. You got this. Father of 3 boys here.
I watched a video of an ex military leader where he says make your bed.
Sometimes all you can do is the easiest of tasks... Some days it was all I could do was make my bed. And it would take me hours to do it.
That's very interesting. Im so glad you're better now.
This was my dad's exact situation about a decade ago. My mother drug his name through the dirt and he had to flee the state in bankruptcy and live with his elderly mother at 55. I was no contact of course because I only had my mother's story to go off of. He told me the only thing that kept him going was the thought of me and my sister being deprived of a father, regardless of the situation at the time. I'm so glad he didn't take his life. For your future kids sakes man keep pushing on. One day things will balance out.
Hey message me if you need to talk. I lost contact with my kid for four years after the split. Lost my job, my savings, retirement, house, been homeless for a year and a half. Actually reunited with my kid a few months back and we are living together in a hotel while I look for a place. I know exactly what living to die is like, the waking nightmare. I'm here just give me a shout.
Please don't give up...
Now. Lost job in Feb. Still struggling to find another. Money running out. Family needs to be looked after. I've never felt more defeated then I do now.
Try to stay positive! I was laid off for 7 months last year and to say it was difficult is an understatement. Unemployment ran dry, used up all my savings, had to pull money out of my 401K. The job market is rough nowadays, but you will find something!
I suggest doing retail at least if it’s something on the meantime while applying for the job you would want. Work 2 retail jobs if needed
My son was diagnosed with brain cancer when he was 6. We never really got out of it, we have just learned to live with it. But following that low point, I was unemployed, Covid happened, couldn’t find work. I spent a ton of time in therapy trying to manage the panic attacks, and eventually over time it just got better. Still hurts. But each day we think about it a little less. It’s been just over 5 years since diagnosis and he’s doing okay.
God bless you man, wishing you a beautiful life!
he will live a long beautiful life with his amazing parents. i just know it
My Dad dying.
Same, and i am an only child and was raised by my single father. In the few years since he's died his entire side of the family has now died too - it was almost some weird domino effect that started with him. It's just me and my cousin left.
My Dad was a single parent with me too, he was my hero.
I am really sorry for your loss
And I'm sorry for yours.
I’m so sorry :( prayers out to you
Losing my baby. Man that ripped a fucking hole in my heart. The days were dark, the nights were dark. I couldnt talk to anyone about it and even if I did noone gave a fuck. There's so much stuff thats happened lately that I am not allowed to talk about else il be judged. People expect perfection from me when its only ME that gets to do that. This world is cold. I have one child and im done. Not doing it again. Losing my 2nd fucking hurt.
I’m Really sorry about your loss. Damn I’d lose my shit.
Dont worry mate. That was the cherry on a massive turd of a cake :) I'm not allowed to talk about my feelings because theyre invalid so dont worry I wont elaborate. Ima just bottle it up unhealthily. Edit: someone reported me in a good way as theyre concerned about me. I been waiting for therapy for 4 months and when I finally got it she spent 30mins asking me questions about safeguarding. If it wasnt for my daughter id be dead right now. Fuck this life.
Hey man you can vent here all you want I am not going to judge you m8, this life is rough.
The year before I quit drinking. I stopped being able to work, I barely ate anything and threw up every day when I woke up. I lost count of how many times I ended up in the hospital.
Same for me. Glad I've overcome that hurdle, and I'm glad for you, too. It's so much better this way.
I had a very similar low point. I'm at a different low point now, but at least I'm going through it sober. Two years clean!
Bullied in school. 21 now and got some new friends who are absolute legends
It was when my dad got diagnosed with cancer and watching him die in such a short time span. And after he died I lost my job cause his death really sent me down a hole. I'm a bit better now at least. This was a year ago
I’m a dad with cancer hang in there! Part of me that keeps going is watching my kid live and THRIVE 🤘🏿🤘🏿
Sounds like you're gonna beat the shit out of that cancer. Sending a virtual fist pump from the arctic circle 👊🏼
Thanks I am on the good side of this, but not out of the woods yet
Not a dad but I'm in my third and half year of remission/observation. Keep up the good fight, brother.
The last 6 years and now. Diagnosed with cancer in 2017, had a major operation to remove it. Just started to feel well enough after the operation to leave the house after 18 months then covid hit so spent 3+ years indoors total (I live alone). Operation has left me with long term persistent pain so cancer has gone but my body is an absolute mess. I'm in constant pain, like every second of every minute. Been ghosted by friends and family because I'm not convenient anymore. Can't go out much, can't work, can't enjoy much. Ptsd has kicked my arse over those years too. Any scenes of surgery freak me the hell out and certain words to describe body parts get me all shaky and messed up. I don't want to kill myself because I do have people that care about me but I don't want to do it anymore and if there was a magic button I could press that would make me cease to exist without anyone being upset I'd be hitting it like I was playing hungry hippos. Fuck cancer and fuck pain.
dude hope it gets better, I'm sorry for that
Thank you.
21 years old, college, sleeping in my friends room on a futon after a breakup, broke as fuck. Woke up on the day of a midterm and one of our roommates was dead on the couch from drugs. Kinda went nuts for a while after that.
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I was exactly like this last year!
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Please hang in there. Try to find something that you like. Even adopt a pet (cat, dog, whatever) something that you can care for and will help you find some love. Hang in there
My 20s. My 30s were a godsend.
Right now; my wife of 20 years passed on 7-4-22 and my life has been slowly spinning out of control ever since.
I’m so sorry. Have you considered a support group of some sort?
Last year was homeless. Started having panic attacks and blood pressure went up due to stress. I was paying for prescriptions and Dr visits out of pocket. Spent all my savings doing so. Didn't know where my next meal would come from at one point. Had no one to talk to or turn to. I wanted to check out n just end it all but I couldn't go out without a fight so I kept pushing..
After my second divorce, 20 years ago. In retrospect, I think I am still struggling my way out
everyday
I was in that place once. Stay strong.
When I was 8 and 9 y/o. I was bullied, school was too easy and I was stuck in a porn addiction. Tried to commit suicide several times with a kitchen knife. I'm turning 17 soon, and I'm much happier than most 17 y/o guys out there.
Glad you made it out of that rutt
When my college girlfriend left me for another dude. We lived in the same dorm. We had the same friend group. We worked together. It was torture every single day having to see her sitting in the lobby with her head in his lap, or walking out of the dorm together hand-in-hand. It was a week before Thanksgiving, too. I had told my whole family I was going to bring her to meet them. Instead, I drove around my city with so many tears in my eyes that my vision was so blurry that I could not see out of my windshield, and I pretended she was sitting next to me anyways, and I would tell her all about the places we would drive by. But she wasn’t really there. She was back on campus, sleeping with him.
🥹👊🏻damn bro. You sound like a good man. I’ve def done the pretend she’s there in the car thing…Hope you found a better one. I’m still looking🤟🏻
Damn, this hits hard. Hope you're doing well now, bro
I feel like I want to beat them both up
This is the lowest point of my life and its only getting worse. Always.
I am not looking for sympathy, but I have 3. 1-When I was 6, my mama committed suicide. The day I was told (I was in a foster home), I was sitting on the back steps crying, and my foster mom opened the back door and yelled, "QUIT YOUR FUCKIN WAILING!!" The day of the funeral, while my foster mom was helping me get dressed, she pulled my penis out of my zipper hole of the pants and aggressively pulled it until it cut on the zipper, because I had told her that morning that her father put his hand under my blanket after singing all of us to sleep. At the funeral, I told the social worker, and she told me to "Be brave and hang in there" because I was moving to my mama's brother's soon. It happened 2 more times while I was bathing. What really made me feel worthless was when I moved to my uncle's house, I was at Sunday school, and I told the priest named Ralph Rowe that my mama just died, so he kept me afterwards for "prayer and healing" and raped me. He is considered to be one of Canada's most prolific pedophiles. 2-When I was 18, I beat a child molester to death because I never dealt with what happened to me, and I got 6 years for manslaughter and met a bunch of drug dealers in there and when I got out I started selling drugs and eventually sold a kilo of coke to an undercover cop because I'm a damn idiot. Haha. I got 6 years for that, too. 3-Once I was out, the world got me back for selling drugs, and at the age of 34, I became an addict. I eventually was introduced to fentanyl and became a homeless addict for 6 years. I was in the hospital waiting for my last social assistance cheque so I could spend it all on fentanyl and say goodbye to the world. 3 days before that cheque, my ex-wife reached out to me after not speaking for 2 years and told me that she had a bad dream about me and she was worried about me and she still loved me. The very next day, my former foster father (from an actual great foster home) reached out, and after not speaking for 2 and a half years, he said that I cross their minds often and that they loved me. I decided that wasn't just a coincidence, so I thought I would give life one more try. March 18 was my 2 years clean mark. I've had my current job for almost 2 years, and my kids are back in my life, and my ex-wife and I are getting remarried this year. Also, I now do public speaking about my life, addiction, and recovery in hopes of helping people avoid the shitty decisions I made and also to give hope to active addicts that there is a way out. My life is perfect now, and that's why I said I'm not looking for sympathy. Life is good, my Reddit friends.
I’m grateful life improved for you.
Had a bad back for 15 years with numb leg and sciatica. Numerous times off sick at work, sometimes for months at a time. Had scans, x-rays, physio etc and nobody could figure it out. My life during that time was work and lie down as I couldn’t manage anything else. Had a flare up towards the end of this and was struggling to get dressed to go to work. I bent over to put a shoe on and fell over and my whole world just crashed in around me. I gave up mentally and physically. It completely broke me. Had another few months off work and then saw a physiotherapist from occupational health that my work assigned me to. After a couple of appointments he was like a dog with a bone and so determined to find out what was wrong. He then figured something out and pressed into a bit of my back for about 90 seconds (he said the previous record was 65) and I felt a wave of what felt like hot water going down my leg and I’ve never looked back since. Pity it took so long for someone to figure it out as it seemed like a simple fix.
Stuck without a job thru 2022-23 with an incredibly toxic parent. I am never going back to that old family house, I'm abroad, alone, in a richer country and happy with a new job. It's been months and I'd gladly stay for many years. Nothing hurts more than being hurt by your closest of kin, because even if it happens a 1000 times it will always sneak up on you as a morally good person. (I was born good, I can never truly get out of it, and I'll always believe in people more than I believe in myself, I can't get out of that one either except for the most important things such as my own health and success, I'm finally putting them at top priority since I'm all alone) I wanted to d!e for such a long time and many dark thoughts went thru my head, but willpower and luck eventually took over and I found a job after searching and applying for months. One interview and I got in. And I like it.
Going through it right now with no motivation because I take one step forward and five back. I was diagnosed with end-stage renal disease last year and am now on dialysis 6 days a week for 4 hours per treatment. My husband recently lost his job and I can't work because of said treatments. I'm also brand new to Canada and haven't even been here two years. I'm honestly considering medically assisted death because I'm fucking sick of this.
Was? Iv just turned 60 and can't work anymore. I'm living on a benefit which just pays my bills BUT no money to do anything else!!. I'm afraid of dying from boredom.
Post divorce, 2006. I was absolutely lost. It took about 3 years to crawl out of that hole. I just had literally Nothing. No friends. No job. Just no will to live for awhile there, no direction-it was terrible. I had to quite literally put one foot in front of the other and remind myself to breathe in and out some days. I got up, got a job. Made myself live life, but I’d say i was not fully present in any of it for at least 2 years. I barely remember that time, and I no longer talk to any of the people i was friends with then. Around the end of year 3 i started to feel like a human again, started to enjoy things again. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
Debilitating motorcycle accident, gf was cheating, mom died a horrible death. I was on the couch downing prescription Xanax, Vodka and pay per view. I healed up, hit the gym hard, no bullshit….bought a Ferrari and the toughest thing…quitting that fucking Xanax. Funny, I was never suicidal but I sure had a stomach ache and trouble sleeping. This was 12 years ago for context. My ex, unfortunately isnt doing too well. Her life choices didn’t turn out well.
Bought a Ferrari? What on earth do you do?
I’m a carpenter but self employed with employees. It was not new.
Well I'm very proud of you!!!!!!! That's amazing
When I was in high school I tried to kill myself a couple of times because I was/am super depressed. I only really stopped because killing yourself is kinda difficult if you don’t do it right and fuck it hurts when you survive and leaves you with some detrimental health issues.
The lowest point in my 15 years of existence was being sent off to an eating disorder residential over 6 hours away from my family with no friends and a 10-minute phone call a day. I was forced to recover and the only thing keeping me from going back to restricting is the trauma and fear of being sent back there.
I also used to have an eating disorder (AN). I've physically recovered but that doesn't mean my brain just magically accepts the way I look. Being a distance runner keeps me from relapsing because I love it and I want to have the energy to keep doing it for a long time for me and for my team. 🤍
I'm so proud of you, that is so great that you have something to be so passionate about to keep you going. I agree acceptance is one of the hardest things, I still struggle with it alot. Being a distance runner is so cool keep going. I can already tell you are awesome!💖
Had some trauma from work (law enforcement) and ended up calling "911" (Im not American) and said I was worried that I wanted to end it all, and this was the only number I could think of calling. They were very good, and bad, in responding as they sent an ambulance and two cops, the cops coming first and me being a former cop (which they knew) become very much opposed to this idea, Im NOT going in cuffs - then I rather you all leave and Ill deal with it some other way. But the cops insisted, so I ended up fighting them both with the result of them leaving my property saying "you do understand we will come back with backup?" they did, and I was forcefully sent to a hospital for 48 hours because the police was quote "scared of me and what I could do" When I got to that hospital and they gave me room, first thing I did was break open the window with a wet towel twisting around the locks and the doctor came in: "hey, Im not going to fight you.... if you want to break out that window, you clearly can and know how..... but how far will you get before three police cars will stop you? Let talk, no?" That was the absolute worst lowest point in my life. But it helped, a lot. Those 48 hours with doctors, seeing other patients with MUCH worse stuff going on than me and on gave me perspective on a lot.
Suicidal aged 16 due to cripplingly disabling OCD. And no, I’m not a clean freak.
I wouldn't say I had no clue if I got out of it... but I was prepared for it, and prepared for a really bumpy ride... and for sure one of the darkest periods in my life Lived my parents, and both died (2015, 2017 respectively), and I inherited their house with a huge unpaid mortage. I lived with them, because disability, no savings, shitty housingmarket in my country .... House was a mess... 2018, central heating broke down with no money to pay for it. Just to illustrate the state of the house. Aaaaaaanyway.... december 2019, bank sent the repo office... unpaid mortage, wanted it paid asap. Couldn't pay it, so corona hit and I was about to be evicted. With a lawyer I could postpone since lockdown just happened in my country... but late october 2020 the house got sold in a blind auction; and luckily the new buyer gave me a month to get my stuff and put it in storage or something... but december 1st, in the middle of the pandemic I ended up homeless. In debt... How I got out? There is a shelter in another city here, and I went there, and they let me stay there, got my paperwork sorted out, almost broke even on the sale of the house... and it was an overbid; so over 100k in unpaid mortgage covered... ended up with less than 5k in debt when all was cleared. Survived in that shelter... and I've seen shit there for sure, for about 9 months till august 2021. Because I wasn't an addict and had my paperwork in order (even when I first got there, I had it all in folders and sorted), I was an easy case to help and with a social housing firm get an appartment for me. It just took 9 months because of 'rona... that was a mess for a lot of social workers. Was I stressed? Absolutely...and that shelter didn't really do a lot of good for my mental health. Picked up way more "streetskills" than most people should know, worked on my social skills... so it wasn't terrible all the time... but it taxing for sure. The social workers in the shelter at one point told me; it's remarkeable when people get out of a shelter and not end up with an addiction in the process...(and I got out clean; went in clean as well though) Currently, I'm living in that same appartment as I got 2,5 years ago, and spent most of my days making art. So I got out relatively well... almost debt free. So my life is looking good... probably even way better than in 2018-2019...
I was working at an ethanol plant that suddenly shut down without warning (showed up to work one day and gate was locked shut). I ended up working at a power plant in the Nevada desert where we were isolated did everything ourselves. We had a fire, we were the firefighters. We needed a road, we were the construction crew. I worked in conditions inside boilers that melted the soles and cracked the leather of my work boots and made me cough up black ash and blood. And got constantly called in on my days off and flip-flopped between day and nightshifts. I worked there for 5 years until getting a much better job that pays better. During my last year there I was severely depressed and stopped cleaning my apartment or taking care of myself. I feel like it’s hard to talk to people about it because they think I’m exaggerating and/or don’t believe places in the U.S. have conditions like that or that I could have taken legal action against the company (maybe I could have but I didn’t know how or have much resources).
Birth onwards.
Probably the first 3 years of university, when I was dealing not only with all the regular pressures of moving out, balancing study and work, living with flatmates etc, but I was also trying to cope with my diagnosis of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome is a connective tissue disorder. There are 13 types, but I have the most common type, which affects my joints. My joints are hypermobile to the point where they cause a lot of pain. My muscles work much harder than a normal person's just to keep my joints in place. My knees bend backwards when I walk, causing back and hip pain. I get bursitis and other painful complications because of the way my joints move. Now, I've been living with my symptoms for over a decade, and have found ways to manage them and make my life comfortable. Back then, I didn't have any self-management techniques, no support from doctors, no advice. I used crutches or a stick to get to and from classes, was often in so much pain just from walking that I'd burst into tears, and had hardly any energy to work in between. I just cried all the time, and took lots of codeine, and felt awful. At one point, the only thing that stopped me from taking my own life was the thought of how upset my mum would be. What got me through? My faith. I'd always been a Christian, but God really dragged me through that period of my life. I came across a Bible passage (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) which helped me to understand the purpose of my pain, the joy in my struggle. Now, when I have bad days, I'm able to see the big picture, and rejoice in it.
Deep depression at age 12 to 16 from my family and getting abused in a swimming pool
Right now. Been like that for the last 6 years… only getting worse. I dont even want life to get better at this point… just want it to end cus if it did fix itself it would still be terrible
Now. Everyday it gets worse
When I found out my wife was doing my brother to feed her meth addiction.
Once my dad was unable to afford wifi, internet, cable, or a car so we watched bootleg movies, recorded songs off the radio, and took a taxi most places. For some 4 years
Right now actually 😔
Right now
Moved to egypt with my family when i was 16. I skipped school so no school for 2 years and no socialization i had extreme social anxiety. I only aat in my room on my ipad every day 15 hours a day. Often times til the sun came up typa thing. I was very sucidal..
Right now. Going through my first ever breakup (mutual) after being together for almost 5 years :( I have no idea how to deal with this
Lost my job a month ago, went on a drug and sex binge. I’m currently recovering all the drugs and alcohol I abused. Feel lonely and like burden. I have great people who love me and are there for me who I should fight for.
So far, the day before my first AA meeting. Fortunately my mom came home early and caught me rummaging in the garage for the pistol.
I was worse before stuck in a loop of degrading mental health, a very bad and visible breakup and an exam that was gonna determine the course of my life, literally handled each of them in worst way imaginable suffered a complete mental breakdown, did something I still regret (although my dad covered it) and just completely fucked life over, I am kind of in a bad point rn as well, but nothing compares to those years, God clearly gave up on me back then
Thanking the concerned redditor who reached to r/RedditCareResources ,whosoever he/she is, is a hero, I dunno if we ever meet, but I would like to buy that person a drink sometime. Again thank you very much!
Met this girl. She destroyed my life and was a felon. She made me burn bridges with my family and friends and her and her two friends and i were living out of my car. One of them was a minor, i had just turned 18. She cheated on me with her and i found out and she kept manipulating my reality into me believing it was going to stop, my fault or i was the reason she was doing it. They all made me see life differently and falsely as i paid for everything as i was the only one with a job. Bailed her out and she never paid me a penny back, the entire time i would find texts of her and them using me for money for hotel rooms, my car, food , money, etc. I had no one in my life so i stayed.
Reading this
For me, my ex aborted my child in early 2023 and it made me get sober and a job so it never happens to me again. In her defense I was a raging fentanyl addict and my getting sober couldn't be predicted anyways. Shit happens. Been sober since august of last year.
Probs now .
When I left my abusive marriage aged 25 with nothing. Zero funds, I didn’t take any household items or my car. Just my clothes and my dog. I didn’t even have any superannuation anymore after we could withdraw it during the pandemic and he spent it on shit we didn’t need. The embarrassment and shame was awful.
About 5 really bad ones. After a very turbulent, traumatic, childhood i was the victim of a violent sexual assault as a teen. Because of my homelife, police put me in "protective custody. " (It was the local jail.) It was the 1960's., thank God things changed. Another time i was almost homeless, jobless and had a 5 y o. I remember looking out at the tree in front of the house (I was being evicted from) thinking about hanging myself from it. Seriously thinking about it. I was 22. One was a bout of depression which only lasted a few months and never came back. But I remember even brushing my teeth required herculean effort. A short use of antidepressants worked. But oh, those were some tough months. The last of my don't-think-Ill-live-through- this times was 40 years ago when I lost my savior-hubby. I was 31. A year later i married the husband i have now, had another child and have never looked back. I went on to get a degree, had a successful life, and am currently retired living a beautiful life. My life is full and I'm healthy. Thanks for reading. Now, you don't have to buy the book! Lol Don't give up. You never know what lies around the corner. And yeah, make your bed.
Being 59 and unemployed for the first time since I was maybe 13.
Just after my miscarriage. Thankfully my life didn't end when I wanted it to, I owe that to my immediate family and my boyfriend, they knew what I needed and when, thank god.
Best friend shot himself in the head. 10 months later dad died young from pulmonary embolism.
Did diving once, but we were maybe 5 meters deep at best, it was during a teen holiday camp
jobless, looked for a job, was rich three years later...
When I found out that one of my children had a drug addiction. It might sound selfish to say but it changed me. I'm a different person now.
2023!! I was hurt quite bad in a head-on car crash in September. The pain and frustration has been pretty tough, but hey, I am still here!! My love to all who are struggling.
The soles of my feet.....literally.
Finding out I can’t nor never will have kids. I know we can adopt, but damn. It’s been 10 years and I am good with it now, but when I first found out. Yeah.
I got sick so bad I stayed at hospital for 3 weeks. It doesn't even feel like it was me when I think about it right now. It's like someone replaced me and lived those 3 weeks. I wasn't even able to get up from the bed without struggling breathing.
Living it right now. Got in a car crash, I dislocated my left knee, left hip ( twice….), fractured left fibula, and cracked ribs 1-6. Lost my job, lost insurance, lost girlfriend, lost life savings, definitely lost the car, currently lost ability to walk and therefore lost most of my independence. My left foot feels like it’s numb all the time, especially when walking. I can put weight on my leg but can’t bend my knee past like 10-20* when standing, when laying down it’s gone up to 40*. Left quad atrophied like a bitch so I’m working on getting that strength back. Going from fully independent to 6 surgeries ( two emergency ) and having someone help wipe your ass when you poop in a bedpan is demoralizing. Plus like the entire hospital has seen me naked at one point or another, so on a plus side no more reservations about public nudity. What am I doing to get out of it? Doing physical therapy on my own because Medicaid only allows like 2 a week. I’m in an assisted living facility and I want to get the fuck out. I’m younger too…..fuck my life right? I’ve missed every major holiday from Halloween through Easter so far.
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Jan 2017 - present 🤞
When I was married
Homeless at 21, seriously depressed. Thank goodness that's all decades behind me now.
Around Christmastime 2013, PTSD reared it's ugly head and due to anxiety and depression I wasn't able to work. The drs office filed my paperwork late to my company for short term disability so I didn't get paid for six months. I had to live off of credit cards (food, normal bills, mortgage, car payment). I'm still in the process of paying them off. Eventually in 2014 I had to quit my job, do a short sale on my place and move back to my home state. I lost everything that I enjoyed due to PTSD that waited years to raise it's ugly head. I found myself suicidal and was harming myself. It was such a terrible time. I'm not anywhere near how good I was over 12 years ago, but due to meds and therapy I'm not as bad as I was around 11 years ago.
Being held hostage for 7 months by my ex who was extremely violent with me, almost killed me 33+ times, raped me a lot, and kept me high. It’s been 5 months since I escaped and I’m healing and sober and happy again and restarting my life ❤️
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I think it was that time in my early twenties when I drank myself into oblivion every other night and let any dude who crossed my way abuse me because I felt worthless. I still feel worthless and get drunk consistently, but at least I do it at home now, alone and safe.
Yesterday. But there is always tomorrow
Catching my ex wife cheating on me after being gaslighted for a couple of years, and after me clawing the whole time to nurture our relationship.
All of my School Years 
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LDR? and TFMR?
After my strongest heartbreak💔❤️🩹
A few years ago when I realized everyone I know was lying about me and everyone who wasn’t was harassed away by the people that were surrounding me lying.
Why is it not enough for some people to just not personally like you? Why must they try and turn everyone they know against you too… like fuck man, grow up.
now
Divorce.
One of my lowest points was my mom's abusive relationship. Another point was when i developed a phobia of dogs
i think i’m in it fr
It was 2020, I was 16, there was COVID, got raped, became an alcoholic, i fell into depression, tried to kms, lost all my friends, my dad almost died and i got locked up in a psych ward for around 2 months lol
Living it. Not really seeing much light, even though I know this will pass. It's just another train in the tunnel.
2023. Not going to elaborate.
Right now...until tomorrow.
Social anxiety, agoraphobia, GAD. Been this way since I can remember. Can't break free, or get help. I'm not a cardiologist. Lol
It’s dumb when I think about it. Feeling alone when I was in HS. I lived in a middle of nowhere. Couldn’t even get phone service with my provider. Couldn’t talk to friends. Lived with dad T-Friday. Saturday-Monday with mom in a city so I was more comfortable there. I had no reason to think this way bc I wasn’t abused or anything like that but I wanted to end it all. Pro Wrestling saved me. Gave me something to focus on. Never went to that dark place ever again.
Being married to the wrong person.
Tomorrow. Filing for Chapter 13 to keep my house from being foreclosed on. I’ve been in a relationship that has stripped every ounce of self esteem out of my body. I am self employed and haven’t worked a lot in the past year because of a lot of depression. At this point I feel like an absolute failure. I take 100% responsibility for my choices and decisions and am thankful for supportive parents. But the next couple of years are going to be very tough to dig out of and I’m afraid.
I am in med school. Got held back a year because I got into smoking pot and bad influences. Been trying to redeem myself ever since. Now it is the start of a new year and I desperately just want to have a glimmer of success so I can assure myself I can make it. My father is not willing to fund my education anymore as he believes I'm an addict and don't have what it takes to excel in this field. Just trying to prove him wrong and build my reputation back up
I'm there right now....debts piling up, not enough hours in the day to work to get ahead of it. Feel very much like taking a long walk with a short rope. Outlook bleak.
my entire life ive lived with controlling parents i have done nothing i know im capable of doing great but since i have been living like this my entire life its like ive forgotten how to live i dont believe in mysellf anymore (i havent gotten out of this situation will update when i do:D)
The last five years and a few months.
I'm disabled and mentally screwed I keep killing myself. Anyways right nows my lowest point and it sucks I have nothing to myself I can't work I get government assistance which only pays my rent, and trying to get disability as I physically can't work. Anyways I'm getting help for my mental health but that doesnt help my financial stress. I miss food.
Family poured acid on me because they viewed me as "unclean" due to my long hair(which I'm growing out to donate to wigs for cancer). I'm not even gay, I'm just not masculine enough for them. I was at University when I had a mental breakdown, got put into the psyche ward. This is in Calgary, Canada. The psych ward was like a prison, they shoved me in a room and ignored me, while taking away my video games which were a pretty central coping mechanism. The nurses were so cold. When I finally got the courage to text the rest of my family, telling them where I was, they called me a liar and manipulator. I broke down. I just wanted someone to talk to, someone to believe me. I begged the nurses to talk to me, to pay attention to me. They said they couldn't, that they had other patients to pay attention to and it was selfish to want to monopolize attention. So, tears in my eyes, I begged the security guards to pay attention to me. I just wanted someone to talk to. They said that wasn't their job. So I went back to my room in the ward, one with heavy metal doors. I laid my head down between the frame and tried to slam the door on my head. After a few hits I chickened out, I couldn't do it, couldn't bear the pain. I just so desperately wanted attention, so I cried "somebody help me, please!" Security came, and put opon a smile. They said "let's go to a room and talk" Hoping to finally have some positive human connection, I followed them. They put me in a room and said they'd be back. I waited patiently, and waited longer. When it became clear nobody was coming back, I yelled. Asked what was happening, where was everybody? It was revealed I was in an isolation room. I had been tricked. I'm not a violent man. I tend to hurt inwardly rather than outwardly, but in this room my ability to hurt myself had been taken away. So I bashed on the plastic window of the door. Little did I know the window was reinforced, still to this day I find myself surprised how strong one can make a otherwise disarming looking window. But I bashed, and kicked, and threw myself to try and escape this prison that I had willingly admitted myself into because I thought I'd find help there. I wailed until I couldn't stand anymore. And when I was physically exhausted, I cried, continued to beg for somebody, anybody to just talk to me. That's all I really wanted, I had been starved for so long for positive attention, I just wanted somebody to tell my story to. But eventually I passed out. The next day I was so numb afterwards. I went back to my normal room and spent the next week just sleeping. I waited out my psych ward stay, they did nothing to help me there. No therapy, no talking, no attention. They released me with me having nothing to show for it except a little more truama. I cut connection with my family and moved into campus residence. It's a few months passed now and I admit, I'm still not doing great. Despite my best efforts, I still find myself socially stunted. Nobody loves me. I'm a student governor for my University's student society, part of many clubs and president of the RAC, but I still struggle with social awkwardness and no girl is willing to give me a chance. Perhaps thinking a lover would heal me is foolish and misguided, but cutting off my family has left an emotional hole I don't know how else to fill. I just want to be hugged... It doesn't much matter anyways. I've exhausted the mental health resources available to me. No matter how far I've achieved, I can't earn affection from anybody. Something within me is fundamentally broken and I'm seriously contemplating suicide.
Was in a toxic relationship. He was an alcoholic and I had problems drinking too with him and I was a horrible person. I left him eventually and took a lot of healing, self reflection and now i am with an amazing man.
Went cave diving once. That went pretty deep.
The time I was trying a new medication, it didn't go well, to say the least. I managed to stop taking it after a few weeks but it was well on its way to ruin my life.
Mentally: I feel deep into an existential depression when I was 16 and during that time I grew irrational, desperate and extremely antisocial and anxious. I mentally fell apart and lost control of my life and myself as I tried to figure it out, tried to figure out my life and its meaning. I lost my uncle, my grades fell apart and I almost lost scholarships but I managed cause I told myself something “keep going, it’ll be over one day” Economically; my mother lost her job in 2019 just before the pandemic and afterwards we practically almost went bankrupt and had to use food banks. The only reason we weren’t homeless was because of my older sister who had enough to provide another month of rent before my mom managed to find another more stable job. Even young I understood it but still felt doubt and bad for myself but couldn’t tell my mom so because that would absolutely hurt her in the state we were in cause she couldn’t afford anything. I appreciate my mother entirely for being a mother who provided when nothing could be and gave me everything because she wanted to. I love my mom and every day make her proud by never hitting the ground and always going.
I owned a restaurant and ran it almost single handedly, with the man whom I was in an abusive relationship with. I was isolated, depressed, exhausted, hopeless, and was having suicidal thoughts. The thing that changed it was when a friend of mine called the police one night when he showed up my friend’s house while I was hiding there from him after yet another fight. It started a chain reaction I didn’t know I needed. I ended up getting a restraining order against him for both assault and stalking. I moved. I moved again. I moved again. I took a job out of state. Then a better job. Now, 5 years later at age 40 I am the healthiest and happiest I’ve been in over a decade.
June 5th, 2005 and January 10th, 2006. Within six months prior, I lost my mom, my job, my marriage, my house. Attempted suicide. I'm still here. 🫤
sleeping in trap houses in my late 20s using serious drugs, month in a New York Jail...now a CPA in the Bay Area living well at 45
When I found out on NYE one year that my (now ex) husband was cheating on me with multiple women. I wasted 8 years of my life on a total fraud, and all I wanted to do was die. Thanks to my support system, I was able to heal and thrive. I guess I was stronger than I thought I was. Even though I eventually healed, it changed me. It killed all my desire to want a romantic relationship. I was duped so bad that I'll never be able to trust again. The risk is not worth it to me. I like being alone; I don't have to worry about getting used and abused.
Honestly, I would say right now is my lowest and highest point. I say this because I’m living well, I have lots of good friends and I am enjoying what I’m doing but, at the same time I’m so lost. I have lots of things I want to do but I can’t figure out how to go about them. Anyways just a little rant.
Ironically, mentally, I was at my lowest when I was at my financial best. I was drinking, doing coke, ketamine, ecstasy, weed all at the same time, every day, while doing the things I normally do. For about I year I would get f* up everyday, drive to work, to the mall, hook up w ppl online. Then One day it just stopped. There was never any effort, I wasn't in financial distress, there was no man in the mirror moment, I didn't go to jail... I kinda just woke up one day and didn't have the urge to buy or use anymore. Ive always been "Responsible". I went through a lot as a kid and in my teen adult years. I never did drugs because I never had the extra money for it. I guess once I had the extra disposable income, I started doing drugs to cope with a lot of trauma and pain. Physically I was homeless in NYC for 8 months, sleeping outside, in and out of homeless shelters, etc. this was way before I started doing drugs. I'm California sober now,
I came to Las Vegas clean, had a remote work job, a car and a savings. Within 6 months I was on the street and lost everything. I was living on the streets of Las Vegas and addicted to heroin. I got arrested and there was a man in the jail who had a bible. He prophesied to me that "The father is coming to take the son home to Jericho, the treasure city". I thought he was nuts but when I was released from jail my dad was waiting for me at the door to take me back to his house in California. I wasn't expecting him and at the time I didn't like him either. As he was driving me to the airport I asked if we could stop so I could pick up some things. He let me walk down to the storm tunnel I was living in to get the remainder of my things. The thing that he didn't know is that I had saved 80 dollars from money my mom put on my books. I was planning on going back to my drug lifestyle and ditching him. I went down to the tunnel and lo and behold my friends were there and about to score. I was really happy about this and was going with them when all of this sudden..I had a moment of conscience. At that moment I just knew that I knew that I knew that God had sent my dad, and that if I honored my dad I would be honoring God. It was clear as day to me. At the time I had been searching for who God was and really did want to honor Him. So, in that moment I made a decision not to do it. I told them I wasn't going and I was going to quit. As soon as those words left my mouth there was a light in that tunnel, a spiritual light of the Holy Spirit. My friends, who were homeless heroin addicts, had joy on their faces. They were hugging me and congratulating me and telling me I was doing the right thing. At that moment I was completely delivered from the addiction to heroin. I had no desire to do it ever again. It was as if God took a wash rag and wiped off some dirt off my heart and it was gone. This was a turning point in my life and it helped to lead me to Jesus Christ. Who knows what would have happened if I had made the wrong choice. I thank God for rescuing me, thank you Jesus Amen!
Mom dying while I was a functioning crackhead.
I think my teenage years. Looking back at that, it was just typical teenage emo/depression phase. I got out of it by having future projects and a career.