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I prefer the wind tunnel, a variation of the dutch oven.
You lift your legs and tent the blanket, then fart inside the chamber, once ready you slam your feet down blasting the captured fart into both of your faces-- it's a self destructive move
Here's your easy tip.
First, always sleep with a fan. Either an overhead one or a pedestal fan. If it's a pedestal, have it on her side of the bed and blowing towards you.
Then, learn to fart silently. It's an art form and only about 80% possible at all times, but it's worth learning.
Finally, sleep with your ass aimed away from her and when you need to squeak one out, silently raise the covers away from your ass (so you don't hot box) and slip it out. The fan will push it away from her and if you do it silently, she'll never know.
For the first 9 years my wife did not fart in front of me. Oddly on year 10 she decided she had enough. Now she has a little butt trumpet that won’t stop
Just let 'em rip. It's going to happen sooner or later. The sooner you "rip off the Band Aid," the sooner you can get over the awkwardness.
If you have particularly unpleasant ones while under the covers, you can pull the sheets over your spouse's head to gas them out (Dutch oven). Gotta be opportunistic and have some fun with it!
This is it, get it done and over with. I am too old to get up and go in another room and as far as blaming the dog, he just runs for cover. She does it too so go for it
Tried for YEARS to make my wife puke from a fart. I thought I had her when she was pregnant but no luck. Then one glorious night I let one rip that came out hot. She jumped up out of a dead sleep and stuck her head out the window. Then she ran to the bathroom and was heaving and laughing at the same time. We laughed all night.
It’s funny cause my hubby is the one who hides his farts from me. When he has an upset tummy he prefers to sleep on the couch so he can toot freely, I always tell him it’s fine and he can stay in bed but he still prefers to leave when he’s gassy. I am not super gassy myself, so to this day we both haven’t farted infront of each other. Together 7 years.
Rule number 1 - care enough about your partner that you can keep some things a mystery.
Dont fart by them if at all possible. Get up and get a drink so you can fart quietly away.
If you are sleeping, nothing you can do about that.
Wife and I have been together 11 years this week. If she even burped around me it would be so rare that its still just a surprising occurance and funny.
I try and be as civilized as possible around her so she can keep looking at me with desire instead of comtempt.
My husband says, “I usually return fire with my own but then it becomes a contest of roulette with seeing who can’t trust a fart because it feels like that fart could be a shart.”
Well, we moved in together for a few years before getting married but I assume the adjustments of living with a partner are relatively the same. I think she farted in front of me first, pretty early on in the relationship I think. She's a nurse and I'm in construction, and we're both grown ass people who just understand that everyone has body functions, so it is what it is. Mostly we just laugh at them. If they're particularly stinky we try to protect each other from them. And much to her annoyance, I think it's absolutely the cutest and most hilarious thing ever when she farts and sneezes at the same time. She has chronic year long allergies so this is a common occurrence. Apparently it's a bit painful so I feel bad but it's so damn cute.
You just get used to it. My partner and I fart in front of each other all the time. I even rate him on the quality of his fart noises. He can rip some pretty amazing ones. It feels really freeing to be able to fart in front of someone and not care, so embrace it!
Before our first date, I warned my SO that I'm a gassy dude. She knew what she was getting in to. To prove my point, I let one rip on the first date.
Now, she farts in bed with zero shame.
She farts like there’s no one else around. And there’s nothing I can do about it. And I don’t want to. I know her more than anyone else and I’m gonna stick to that
Play "guess my fart." You say "guess my fart", she then makes the noise she thinks it will sound like. Actually watch this to get the idea. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61pKqP3aDdM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61pKqP3aDdM)
I blame the dogs or say "them damn ducks are at it again!!" We also play guess the sound before each party farts. So if you gotta toot you gotta say hey babe guess the sound? If either get it right it's a dollar. Or when she farts I name them like wrestling moves. Most popular is the "over the cheek sneak" get creative it's no secret we all fart . Rather bare the shame than bare the pain .
1. Blame the dog. 2. Call it your sex lure. I know it's bad when he opens the window behind the bed. His pluses far outnumber his minuses, but I still want to murder him once in a while.
I've recently tied the knot and moved in with my wonderful spouse. We're adjusting to all aspects of married life, including sharing a bed. One challenge we've encountered is the inevitable nighttime gas. I know it's a natural thing, but it can still be a bit awkward.
Nighttime, like when you're asleep? Who cares? That's not awkward.
Now, when you're awake it could be, if you make it! Don't make it awkward, everybody farts!
I thought she was kidding but yeah, she really wrecks up the place...
Especially if we have anything spicy. I still love her though, and am admittedly impressed at times.
Just drop a small one to see her reaction and then decide how to proceed haha. She might think it’s funny or she might get pissed off, there’s only one way to know I guess and that will determine future flatulent interactions.
Also, I think it’s really important to feel comfortable with each other because who can humanly hold their farts for a lifetime anyway haha
Yeah, that’s probably better. I mean, you’d think that someone who has decided to spend the rest of their lives with a person wouldn’t have to go through this stress which usually manifests during the first few months of dating but i guess everyone’s different and that’s right hahaha, better dropping the bomb than creating fake expectations
I’ve suffered from gas most of my life. I’m constantly amazed that my wife has put up with me over the years.
But the bigger thing has been that in the last five years I learned the carbohydrates is what it’s giving me gas. Now it sucks that I can’t eat pasta bread, pizza, corn chips, or potato chips. Basically, I live on a diet of vegetables, fruit and meat now. But I must say I really enjoy life 1000 times more now that I fart maybe two little farts once or twice a day rather than having to flee the room or destroy the atmosphere.
Please understand I’m not saying carbohydrates is what is giving you gas but I would suggest steadily tracking what what you eat and what your reactions are. Find it takes up to three days after I stop eating carbohydrates for the natural gas well to run out. it is nice to live without giving off excessive amount of gas.
I found these really neat things on Amazon where you can just plug it all up until you wake up the next morning. They come in pretty colors too if that's your thing. Now I never have this problem! My wife hates when I try to get her to use one when she's sleeping though
I reached over and grabbed her butt and said "Bed shark attack!"
Then promptly rolled over ripped ass and said "Bed shark repellent'
She gave a chuckled wtf....
We have a king bed and 2 blankets
The trick is to call her out on it first. If she isn't a night pooter, lie. That way when she yells at, you can just tell her that it's no worse than the doom fog she's purging during the night.
Everytime I gasp and say "omg kitty!" Now she does the same.
She still gets upset when I wake her up with a loud one. Especially when my laughter shakes the bed so she knows I'm not sleeping.
I'm am the one who let's out the gas, and I will admit that at 39 I still laugh hysterically when I do it. Especially if it's silent and deadly.
I don't care if she does it. If we smell awful, we just grab air freshener and move on.
Nothing to write home about.
I try to fart in the opposite direction from her. Unless she did something rude, then she gets the fart. But I have to be careful about this, because sometimes her gas is worse than mine.
I pretend to be asleep and blow my farts silently. Or if I know I can suppress the giggling, blow them loudly with vigor. The key is to not laugh and maintain a poker face
We both just fart, but blame next doors' dog. The dog is obviously next door, not with us. The dog is tiny and if it farted the way my husband does it would implode.
Didn’t start farting in front of my fiancé until a couple of months ago. We’ve been together for 4 1/2 years. Me not caring about it anymore made her more comfortable, I’ll occasionally hear her rip one, which is followed by a good laugh from the both of us.
My husband has woken me out of a dead sleep with a fart that I am gagging on. Personally I’m not nearly as windy however a girl needs equality. So whenever I gotta let one rip you better bet I go find him to do it near. Little loving bubble butt warfare.
It’s called having and normalizing separate bedrooms and not freaking out about it, it’s been a Life saver on those mad gassy days as well as my loud snoring won’t effect her anymore and being able to watch what I want as late as I want or whatever, you spend most the day already with them so have your own room and thank me later.
Training.
Every time she farted in the bed, I farted into her CPAP machine. After enough trauma, she she stopped farting.
It's weird though - if you don't smell people's farts, your coffee starts to taste like cyanide. So strange.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Dutch oven every time.
I prefer the wind tunnel, a variation of the dutch oven. You lift your legs and tent the blanket, then fart inside the chamber, once ready you slam your feet down blasting the captured fart into both of your faces-- it's a self destructive move
That’s chaotic, and so hilarious 😂
I am laughing so hard right now! 🤣
Now we’re cooking with gas
Mutually assured destruction...
Basically this, followed by “ewww you’re disgusting”, me giggling and going back to sleep.
Here's your easy tip. First, always sleep with a fan. Either an overhead one or a pedestal fan. If it's a pedestal, have it on her side of the bed and blowing towards you. Then, learn to fart silently. It's an art form and only about 80% possible at all times, but it's worth learning. Finally, sleep with your ass aimed away from her and when you need to squeak one out, silently raise the covers away from your ass (so you don't hot box) and slip it out. The fan will push it away from her and if you do it silently, she'll never know.
or you would fart in the direction of the fan so that it blows towards her 🤌
A man of culture. A *Connoisseur* even.
Cuntasewer
That’s so smart
If you’re afraid/embarrassed to fart in front of your wife then im not sure marrying her was a good decision. Comfort in marriage is fundamental.
It's a me thing, not a her thing. She doesn't care. I was raised different.
This man farts.
Wife snors like a chainsaw. I fight back with farts.
For the first 9 years my wife did not fart in front of me. Oddly on year 10 she decided she had enough. Now she has a little butt trumpet that won’t stop
I cannot even fathom this. NINE YEARS?!
I barely waited 9 minutes after meeting my wife to be
That’s a lot of pent up fart I agree.
Yup. So odd. Not a peep
If one of us farts real hard, the other usually says "good push". Otherwise we don't think about it.
We both declare chemical war
You wait until the room is completely silent, and then you rip the loudest fart you can. That's the only way to break any awkwardness.
Break any awkwardness or assert dominance? 😆
Just let 'em rip. It's going to happen sooner or later. The sooner you "rip off the Band Aid," the sooner you can get over the awkwardness. If you have particularly unpleasant ones while under the covers, you can pull the sheets over your spouse's head to gas them out (Dutch oven). Gotta be opportunistic and have some fun with it!
This is it, get it done and over with. I am too old to get up and go in another room and as far as blaming the dog, he just runs for cover. She does it too so go for it
Tried for YEARS to make my wife puke from a fart. I thought I had her when she was pregnant but no luck. Then one glorious night I let one rip that came out hot. She jumped up out of a dead sleep and stuck her head out the window. Then she ran to the bathroom and was heaving and laughing at the same time. We laughed all night.
This is the funniest and most wholesome thing I’ve read in a long time. Wishing you two a happy and enduring marriage.
Thanx. Last Friday was our 21st anniversary. Been together 27
Makes me happy to hear that. Sounds like you have a lot of fun together.
We try
This made me belly laugh
I’m glad
Dude if you’re only getting to this stage at marriage, you married too soon.
Right?! This is insanity lol
Facts
It’s funny cause my hubby is the one who hides his farts from me. When he has an upset tummy he prefers to sleep on the couch so he can toot freely, I always tell him it’s fine and he can stay in bed but he still prefers to leave when he’s gassy. I am not super gassy myself, so to this day we both haven’t farted infront of each other. Together 7 years.
😂😂😂
🤯🤯🤯
It is what it is. Sometimes it just is. Everything doesn’t need a deep analysis.
Rule number 1 - care enough about your partner that you can keep some things a mystery. Dont fart by them if at all possible. Get up and get a drink so you can fart quietly away. If you are sleeping, nothing you can do about that. Wife and I have been together 11 years this week. If she even burped around me it would be so rare that its still just a surprising occurance and funny. I try and be as civilized as possible around her so she can keep looking at me with desire instead of comtempt.
My husband says, “I usually return fire with my own but then it becomes a contest of roulette with seeing who can’t trust a fart because it feels like that fart could be a shart.”
My gf told me my farts have woken her up. Both by sound and stench. That made me laugh so hard lol.
Loud and proud. Better out than in.
Well, we moved in together for a few years before getting married but I assume the adjustments of living with a partner are relatively the same. I think she farted in front of me first, pretty early on in the relationship I think. She's a nurse and I'm in construction, and we're both grown ass people who just understand that everyone has body functions, so it is what it is. Mostly we just laugh at them. If they're particularly stinky we try to protect each other from them. And much to her annoyance, I think it's absolutely the cutest and most hilarious thing ever when she farts and sneezes at the same time. She has chronic year long allergies so this is a common occurrence. Apparently it's a bit painful so I feel bad but it's so damn cute.
I can’t stop laughing at the title of this post 😂😂😂😂 my husband and I are cracking up.
This whole comment thread is a delight.
I’m the farter he’s the snorer lol
You just get used to it. My partner and I fart in front of each other all the time. I even rate him on the quality of his fart noises. He can rip some pretty amazing ones. It feels really freeing to be able to fart in front of someone and not care, so embrace it!
Before our first date, I warned my SO that I'm a gassy dude. She knew what she was getting in to. To prove my point, I let one rip on the first date. Now, she farts in bed with zero shame.
Dutch oven.. then I’m sent to the couch.. lol
We both fart freely and we both don’t care. We usually laugh and high five
This is so heartwarming.
She farts like there’s no one else around. And there’s nothing I can do about it. And I don’t want to. I know her more than anyone else and I’m gonna stick to that
Play "guess my fart." You say "guess my fart", she then makes the noise she thinks it will sound like. Actually watch this to get the idea. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61pKqP3aDdM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61pKqP3aDdM)
lol we both announce when we fart and then run if it is super deadly
I blame the dogs or say "them damn ducks are at it again!!" We also play guess the sound before each party farts. So if you gotta toot you gotta say hey babe guess the sound? If either get it right it's a dollar. Or when she farts I name them like wrestling moves. Most popular is the "over the cheek sneak" get creative it's no secret we all fart . Rather bare the shame than bare the pain .
Farts are always funny if they are dry
1. Blame the dog. 2. Call it your sex lure. I know it's bad when he opens the window behind the bed. His pluses far outnumber his minuses, but I still want to murder him once in a while.
Just keep blastin ass
I don't like farting in front of her, and she doesn't fart in front of me. I go sleep on the couch if i have the toots, lol.
I've recently tied the knot and moved in with my wonderful spouse. We're adjusting to all aspects of married life, including sharing a bed. One challenge we've encountered is the inevitable nighttime gas. I know it's a natural thing, but it can still be a bit awkward.
Bud, you’re inevitably doing it too. Best way to get over it is just to accept it. We’re all human.
You should have got to pooping with the door open before marriage.
Nighttime, like when you're asleep? Who cares? That's not awkward. Now, when you're awake it could be, if you make it! Don't make it awkward, everybody farts!
You should be able to fart freely. Laugh and high-five after
>We're adjusting to all aspects of married life I moved in with my wife and the toilet water turned blue. Crazy!
I thought she was kidding but yeah, she really wrecks up the place... Especially if we have anything spicy. I still love her though, and am admittedly impressed at times.
Learn to love it
When my wife lets one rip — and she proudly does so regularly— I ask her if she got any in herself.
Just drop a small one to see her reaction and then decide how to proceed haha. She might think it’s funny or she might get pissed off, there’s only one way to know I guess and that will determine future flatulent interactions. Also, I think it’s really important to feel comfortable with each other because who can humanly hold their farts for a lifetime anyway haha
Dude! If he drops a small one she’s gonna think he’s a BITCH! Let the whole orchestra out to play brother.
> Dude! If he drops a small one she’s gonna think he’s a BITCH! Let the whole orchestra out to play brother. This is the way.
Yeah, that’s probably better. I mean, you’d think that someone who has decided to spend the rest of their lives with a person wouldn’t have to go through this stress which usually manifests during the first few months of dating but i guess everyone’s different and that’s right hahaha, better dropping the bomb than creating fake expectations
We call it The Fart Barrier- this is the true measure of where your relationship is at.
I just didn't give a crap? I'm sure I fart in my sleep as well.
It’s gonna happen when you’re asleep eventually anyhow, especially after red bean Monday.
Dutch oven. It’s the only way.
Gen Z man here. Set the boundary during dating..."you can't blame me for what happens while I'm sleeping...nocturnal gas or wood"
Reduce the food that make you gassy. Poop before bed if possible. Also, bump them and if they don't react, they're in a deep sleep so let it rip, lol
My husband doesn’t care. And it’s always him!
I'm engaged and I just fart on her
Lol. Had to pull this old gem out when I read this. https://youtu.be/-_zS-3ofyo8
Or if your wife uses a cpap machine and you recently got into an argument. Wait till she’s sleeping, and let a little toot go off near the air intake
I call it "gaslighting the cat", the cat hates it. Doesn't know if it's real or not. Oh it's real kitty. It's real.
2 blankets
We both agree… “better out than in.”
Two fans in the room on high drowns out any noise or scent.
Go with the Archi Bunker "flap"
Wedding night dutch oven.
I’ve suffered from gas most of my life. I’m constantly amazed that my wife has put up with me over the years. But the bigger thing has been that in the last five years I learned the carbohydrates is what it’s giving me gas. Now it sucks that I can’t eat pasta bread, pizza, corn chips, or potato chips. Basically, I live on a diet of vegetables, fruit and meat now. But I must say I really enjoy life 1000 times more now that I fart maybe two little farts once or twice a day rather than having to flee the room or destroy the atmosphere. Please understand I’m not saying carbohydrates is what is giving you gas but I would suggest steadily tracking what what you eat and what your reactions are. Find it takes up to three days after I stop eating carbohydrates for the natural gas well to run out. it is nice to live without giving off excessive amount of gas.
Hot box ‘em. They love it.
I own them but lighten the mood by saying "oops" or "ope" to insinuate that I sharted or dukied and she usually just laughs it off
I didn’t I just fart. My wife throws ups every night
I found these really neat things on Amazon where you can just plug it all up until you wake up the next morning. They come in pretty colors too if that's your thing. Now I never have this problem! My wife hates when I try to get her to use one when she's sleeping though
I reached over and grabbed her butt and said "Bed shark attack!" Then promptly rolled over ripped ass and said "Bed shark repellent' She gave a chuckled wtf.... We have a king bed and 2 blankets
Farting around each other is part of love. It helps your souls merge.
I installed a 6" dryer vent on the exterior bedroom wall and an axial duct fan connected to a fume hood that hangs over the bed.
I pull my buttom cheek to the side so it's silent. She's usually asleep by the time I get up there
The trick is to call her out on it first. If she isn't a night pooter, lie. That way when she yells at, you can just tell her that it's no worse than the doom fog she's purging during the night.
Fart quietly and blame it on the cat. Regardless of whether you have a cat or not.
Married 45 years. It isn't hard to get into the bathroom first.
I bottle my farts up, just like my feelings
There is no shame. Do you dare enter the chamber of farts?
Threaten with anal.
Ohh Lord, when I was married we had no shame. After 15 years and three kids the little things are just funny. Just cut and run.
Everytime I gasp and say "omg kitty!" Now she does the same. She still gets upset when I wake her up with a loud one. Especially when my laughter shakes the bed so she knows I'm not sleeping.
Just dealt with it.
The first night, you have to dutch oven. Then every time after that you don’t Dutch oven will be seen as a positive.
Put a cap in it
Wife farts way more than I do.
It's hilarious. Everyone shids and fards.
If you find out ur running outta ammo in ur fart wars start eating FiberOne bars,, in a day you will be locked and loaded
I'm am the one who let's out the gas, and I will admit that at 39 I still laugh hysterically when I do it. Especially if it's silent and deadly. I don't care if she does it. If we smell awful, we just grab air freshener and move on. Nothing to write home about.
Hmm wierd my wife doesn't fart or poop so I fill the void.
I try to fart in the opposite direction from her. Unless she did something rude, then she gets the fart. But I have to be careful about this, because sometimes her gas is worse than mine.
We blame it on the 85lb dog laying between us
She farts during the day too, just to make sure I’m used to it
I pretend to be asleep and blow my farts silently. Or if I know I can suppress the giggling, blow them loudly with vigor. The key is to not laugh and maintain a poker face
We both just fart, but blame next doors' dog. The dog is obviously next door, not with us. The dog is tiny and if it farted the way my husband does it would implode.
I feel bad for my wife. I have crohns. I love the look on her face when she gets hit with a fart I marinated under the covers.
I knew I couldn’t get married unless I could fart in front of my partner.
Store them until she is asleep then release.
Didn’t start farting in front of my fiancé until a couple of months ago. We’ve been together for 4 1/2 years. Me not caring about it anymore made her more comfortable, I’ll occasionally hear her rip one, which is followed by a good laugh from the both of us.
By releasing it as loudly as possible what else
My husband has woken me out of a dead sleep with a fart that I am gagging on. Personally I’m not nearly as windy however a girl needs equality. So whenever I gotta let one rip you better bet I go find him to do it near. Little loving bubble butt warfare.
I actually don't mind it.
It’s called having and normalizing separate bedrooms and not freaking out about it, it’s been a Life saver on those mad gassy days as well as my loud snoring won’t effect her anymore and being able to watch what I want as late as I want or whatever, you spend most the day already with them so have your own room and thank me later.
I ignored her gaseous emissions.
Ask for permission.
I get out of bed and run into bathroom, I'm not subjecting anyone to my farts, never have and don't want to go there.
That's weak af bruh
I recently defecated on her.
Training. Every time she farted in the bed, I farted into her CPAP machine. After enough trauma, she she stopped farting. It's weird though - if you don't smell people's farts, your coffee starts to taste like cyanide. So strange.