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There has definitely been ups and downs as any relationship has. Luckily, way more ups than downs. We have amazing communication, which is really important. I know it sounds cheesy, but we fall more in love with each passing year.
Pretty sure many relationships are like this. Until they aren't. If you'd asked me this question 7 years ago, I'd have said yes I'm one of those. But, things happen, and people change.
*raises hand*
Had a long term marriage that just kind of ran its course. Amicable split. Sure, there were some struggles.
Met a wonderful woman my first day doing online dating and it feels like we are puzzle pieces made to be together.
Had a GF in high school and that also just ran its course.
My marriage also ran it's course. 19 years and we grew way apart. Sadly.
However, I do not have a knack for dating and will more than likely just remain single for the remainder.
I’ve only had a couple of relationships, I had “a boyfriend” at 14 where the most we did was hold hands and kiss. My first serious relationship at 17, met my husband at 22 and was married by 26.
I’ve been lucky, but I was also very shy so probably turned a lot of men off, as well as being quite choosy who I went out with (they had to be kind and not arrogant)
People often go for the love they think they deserve. Since many people have low self esteem, they're more likely to have toxics relationships. I had some toxics frriendship and relationship and it's not fun. I wish I hadn't met those people but at the same time I've learnt from it.
I dated two women, I married two women. I won't claim "oh, look at me," because maybe I am naive and survivor's bias. But I was super picky from the start, and went for personality and compatibility first and foremost. After my first wife died, I tried dating, and was turned down a few times. I was okay with that, because a huge "turn off" is "not wanting to date me," and I say that with a snicker because it sounds perfectly reasonable, but I find a lot of guys are NOT okay with being turned down. Some to a scary level.
It could have been luck, as I never thought I'd strike gold twice, but somehow I did. My first marriage lasted 25 years, and while we had issues and growing pains like most couples, it took her dying to end it. My second was also based on lessons from my first, and I never saw her as "a replacement," but merely another chapter.
Now, I have had a few friendships that went sour. I have been blessed with a lot of friends, so statistically, I have done well. But once in a while, we become incompatible. They change, or I changed in ways they didn't see me as fun anymore. Or drifted away because that's life. Most of them that I lost just sort of drifted away. Thankfully, only a handful ended with regret and pain. But that may be beyond the scope of the OP's question.
Since i had only one, which was ok, i didnt have any. I think its how you aproach a relationship, to prevent it from beeing toxic or bad. When you Take your time to get to know each other the relationship will less likely be bad.
In the end every relationship is about communication, whether its a friendship, work related or romantic.
I wish a single woman I'd been with would have just broken up with me in a normal way it would have sucked but been less shitty than being cheated on 4 times and having the other gf go from" I love you and I never want this to end" to just being done with me, not really explaining or getting any closure and then just never talking again in like a 2 week period.
Nothing toxic, no abuse, and no cheating. One was just too unambitious for me and the other didn't take me seriously when I told him about my life goals.
Since those two it's just been my husband for the last 9.5 years, he takes me seriously and has enough ambition. The funny thing is my husband has the life the unambitious one would have wanted, more or less.
Not really. My current partner and I have the most difficulty with our relationship than with my exes. Prior to her I could say every relationship I been in I just didn’t ’fall for them’ and we went our separate ways amicably. My current partner has had terrible reasons for each of their breakups so she struggles to understand why I don’t dislike any of my exes.
I "haven't."
My last one blindsided me with a breakup but before that it was amazing. Kinda traumatizing to constantly be told how good the relationship is, how secure and safe she feels with you, how she's crazy about you, never felt like this before, and then 2 days before your birthday she says it's not working out and dumps you.
“Date for a while and move on”. Have you ever even fallen in love for the people you date or you just logically date the best people? Anyway, looks like you’re a sociopath.
Fall in love, then out of love… nothing sociopathic about it I don’t think.
I prefer to be pursued so it might make my relationships a bit more solid bc I’m not in the mindset that I had to chase or that I had to convince someone to be with me
You're on Reddit. A lot of us have never had a relationship at all.
I dated a coworker of mine once (A stupid idea that my single 17-year old brain didn't think through). It lasted for about a month and then I found out she was keeping some pretty big secrets (that I'm not sharing on THIS account) from me. I broke up with her on the spot and she got mad, but not much happened after that, and it's not worth posting a story/comment complaining about a terrible relationship about.
Not the only one, but it’s probably not the norm.
I didn’t/don’t date a lot.. since I’m generally not interested. So I only consider or get into a relationship when some pretty amazing guy happens to come into my life.. And the threshold to get me there I’d say is fairly high/selective. I really don’t have anything negative to say about my exes and husband. The relationships were/are good and healthy.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We are many. It’s just not very interesting stories to post about.
Got pregnant at 16, gave birth at 17 and got married at 18. 23 years later we are still going strong! So no bad relationships here either
I dont intend or this to sound mean or hurtful but have you never lost any love in all that time (I mean as in had big falling outs)?
There has definitely been ups and downs as any relationship has. Luckily, way more ups than downs. We have amazing communication, which is really important. I know it sounds cheesy, but we fall more in love with each passing year.
I hope you’re not the only one but please don’t jinx it! Dealing with trauma is not fun… i promise
This... 8 months since leaving him and I still struggle with ptsd
Pretty sure many relationships are like this. Until they aren't. If you'd asked me this question 7 years ago, I'd have said yes I'm one of those. But, things happen, and people change.
*raises hand* Had a long term marriage that just kind of ran its course. Amicable split. Sure, there were some struggles. Met a wonderful woman my first day doing online dating and it feels like we are puzzle pieces made to be together. Had a GF in high school and that also just ran its course.
My marriage also ran it's course. 19 years and we grew way apart. Sadly. However, I do not have a knack for dating and will more than likely just remain single for the remainder.
I haven’t had any bad ones. However, I have strict standards for dating.
I’ve only had a couple of relationships, I had “a boyfriend” at 14 where the most we did was hold hands and kiss. My first serious relationship at 17, met my husband at 22 and was married by 26. I’ve been lucky, but I was also very shy so probably turned a lot of men off, as well as being quite choosy who I went out with (they had to be kind and not arrogant)
I'm bipolar. Every relationship I have is rocky.
Never have, maybe I never will. I find it hard to feel anything and, even if someone were to love me, I worry if I would not be able to love them back
People often go for the love they think they deserve. Since many people have low self esteem, they're more likely to have toxics relationships. I had some toxics frriendship and relationship and it's not fun. I wish I hadn't met those people but at the same time I've learnt from it.
I dated two women, I married two women. I won't claim "oh, look at me," because maybe I am naive and survivor's bias. But I was super picky from the start, and went for personality and compatibility first and foremost. After my first wife died, I tried dating, and was turned down a few times. I was okay with that, because a huge "turn off" is "not wanting to date me," and I say that with a snicker because it sounds perfectly reasonable, but I find a lot of guys are NOT okay with being turned down. Some to a scary level. It could have been luck, as I never thought I'd strike gold twice, but somehow I did. My first marriage lasted 25 years, and while we had issues and growing pains like most couples, it took her dying to end it. My second was also based on lessons from my first, and I never saw her as "a replacement," but merely another chapter. Now, I have had a few friendships that went sour. I have been blessed with a lot of friends, so statistically, I have done well. But once in a while, we become incompatible. They change, or I changed in ways they didn't see me as fun anymore. Or drifted away because that's life. Most of them that I lost just sort of drifted away. Thankfully, only a handful ended with regret and pain. But that may be beyond the scope of the OP's question.
Oh boy, I wish I was one of them!
Since i had only one, which was ok, i didnt have any. I think its how you aproach a relationship, to prevent it from beeing toxic or bad. When you Take your time to get to know each other the relationship will less likely be bad. In the end every relationship is about communication, whether its a friendship, work related or romantic.
I wish a single woman I'd been with would have just broken up with me in a normal way it would have sucked but been less shitty than being cheated on 4 times and having the other gf go from" I love you and I never want this to end" to just being done with me, not really explaining or getting any closure and then just never talking again in like a 2 week period.
Where's the fun in that?
Nothing toxic, no abuse, and no cheating. One was just too unambitious for me and the other didn't take me seriously when I told him about my life goals. Since those two it's just been my husband for the last 9.5 years, he takes me seriously and has enough ambition. The funny thing is my husband has the life the unambitious one would have wanted, more or less.
I've only had one relationship that I'm currently in and it seems pretty aight so far
Not really. My current partner and I have the most difficulty with our relationship than with my exes. Prior to her I could say every relationship I been in I just didn’t ’fall for them’ and we went our separate ways amicably. My current partner has had terrible reasons for each of their breakups so she struggles to understand why I don’t dislike any of my exes.
That is the neat part.. we don't :)
Married my first girlfriend. Met her at college and this summer we celebrate anniversary #38. Our marriage is better than ever!
I dump them before it gets bad lol
Can't have a bad something if I've never had that something in the first place
As a person who has just not been in a relationship, I see this as an absolute win
I "haven't." My last one blindsided me with a breakup but before that it was amazing. Kinda traumatizing to constantly be told how good the relationship is, how secure and safe she feels with you, how she's crazy about you, never felt like this before, and then 2 days before your birthday she says it's not working out and dumps you.
“Date for a while and move on”. Have you ever even fallen in love for the people you date or you just logically date the best people? Anyway, looks like you’re a sociopath.
Fall in love, then out of love… nothing sociopathic about it I don’t think. I prefer to be pursued so it might make my relationships a bit more solid bc I’m not in the mindset that I had to chase or that I had to convince someone to be with me
You're on Reddit. A lot of us have never had a relationship at all. I dated a coworker of mine once (A stupid idea that my single 17-year old brain didn't think through). It lasted for about a month and then I found out she was keeping some pretty big secrets (that I'm not sharing on THIS account) from me. I broke up with her on the spot and she got mad, but not much happened after that, and it's not worth posting a story/comment complaining about a terrible relationship about.
I was married for 22 years when my mate passed away. Still love them 24 years later
Not the only one, but it’s probably not the norm. I didn’t/don’t date a lot.. since I’m generally not interested. So I only consider or get into a relationship when some pretty amazing guy happens to come into my life.. And the threshold to get me there I’d say is fairly high/selective. I really don’t have anything negative to say about my exes and husband. The relationships were/are good and healthy.