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Learn to interact with strangers not only girls you like, it’s all practice like everything else, force yourself into conversations with random people, ask people questions and see how long you can keep the conversation going, after a while you’ll learn what works.
Then you’ll be less anxious when you talk to a girl you like
Exactly this. And to elaborate on the why - the reason why you falter talking to an attractive person is because you’re putting pressure on yourself. You’re putting pressure on yourself because you want a specific outcome from the interaction. Whether it’s as small as a number or as big as sex, it’s still something you feel you are investing heavily in. Compare that to a stranger who’s just practice. The stranger is going to be replaced in seconds by another stranger, so why care about that interaction?
Whilst it might not feel like it at the time, there are many attractive people out there. Being attracted to one doesn’t mean they’re the one. Don’t pedestal the person. They’re just another stranger.
All that being said - people are still people, not just targets, so it’s important to be respectful as well.
If a girl makes eye contact and smiles, that’s clear permission to approach.
It’s always safe to mention something relevant to the circumstances and see what response you get.
Ex: you’re both looking at the protein powders at the gym/grocery store and you say “have you tried the chocolate? It’s so good!”
Ex: You’re both listening to the same band at a summer concert in the park and you say “wow covering this song was a bold choice, right?”
Basically, asking a question that doesn’t put her on the spot but starts a conversation. It feels so confrontational when a man outright compliments me because then I have to decide immediately whether I am interested or not in them, so I’ll lean “no” just because I’ve been put on the spot. I’ve rejected perfectly good looking, seemingly nice men just because they approached to aggressively, “hey you are looking great tonight!” will make me want to run away if they are a stranger. It’s almost a more insecure way to approach a woman because it’s like an instant “do you like me or not? So I can move on to the next one asap if you don’t”.
But a little chat or conversation opener about the situation we are sharing will draw me in and I can figure out if you’re a safe guy to talk to. I really like it when a man approaches me this way and I appreciate their courage and patience.
Lol. Don't worry.... that's not a clear sign of anything. They could be crazy and are thinking of grinding your bones to make their bread. They could be remembering that funny family guy moment.
Different ppl have different ways about them. Even if she's running from you, screaming... just keep trying. You'll get her some day. Just don't give up, because then she'll make it to the station and you'll have the boys in blue chasing you.
not really, a no is a no, and that’s good this way. I get many smiles and signals but I have zero experience and I think I’ve wasted like 1000 opportunities so far😓
Also, notice the little things. Don't right away say, "You look beautiful or something like that, but if you noticed she's wearing her hair differently, just say point it out. Say it looks nice and that's it". No Mas!
Ill add something, if a woman is just flat out decked out like did her hair, great fashion, great style. You can say "I like your style!" Mega bonus points if you are also taken care of that day. In fact, apart from your energy, having really good style is an important factor in you getting positive responses.
>If a girl makes eye contact and smiles, that’s clear permission to approach.
I've heard so many women say the complete opposite, that they're just being friendly. That they wish they could smile without it being seen as an invitation.
Hell you have some women responding to you saying that.
Very interesting points, thank you.
Though, some would probably feel that casual approaching would feel like too much "beating around the bush", no?
If a genuine rapport is built, and you even get to spend time doing stuff together (in public), when would be a good time to discuss more serious relationship stuff?
Would there have to be a gradual transition from public spaces to private spaces?
I, for lack of confidence, stupidity or bad game or whatever other reasons, always avoided girls who smile at me and give signals AND mostly approach girls who pretend like I don’t exist/clearly seem uninterested in me, only to get harshly rejected afterwards, why do I keep doing this? The ones that smile at me and twirl their hair when they see me certainly have more interest in me than those who look away and ignore me the second they see me, maybe low confidence? I always question the fact that the girl smiling could have an interest in me, I question that. So I reject what could have been a nice approach and maybe a number and a date afterwards and get filled with remorse and then approach the uninterested girl and get rejected and frustrated, and I slowly begin to question my confidence/looks/value as a guy😓. How do I break this cycle?
Just be more open with everybody. Try not to judge, and show concern and interest for others. Someone you are interested in will quickly realize this. If you start engaging everyone you meet, it will become a normal thing for you. You'll meet someone with whom you have a connection.
>It feels so confrontational when a man outright compliments me because then I have to decide immediately whether I am interested or not in them, so I’ll lean “no” just because I’ve been put on the spot.
That is an odd one. Respectfully though, how is that confrontational? Isn't directness better or is that like skipping foreplay? Some women look amazing in their gym gear or it could be as simple as their eyebrows
Because, if the intention is to eventually ask woman out, starting with an obvious “I like you” means the woman has milliseconds to decide whether to respond with the attitude of “I like you too” or “leave me alone”. I’ll usually opt for “leave me alone” attitude regardless of the man who is cornering me, because I do feel cornered. Put on the spot. Pressured.
If someone, anyone, approaches me at the gym to tell me I look good, I’ll say “thanks” and walk away.
If someone, anyone, approaches me to chat about this or that exercise, what’s on the tv, or something easier to respond to, I’ll happily chat with them and find out who they are. They may have no intention of getting my number at all, and that makes me comfortable and even curious.
Every woman is different, but several friends and family members of mine have agreed they react the same as me. It’s the “creep” feeling some women get when a total stranger compliments her physical appearance.
Maybe some women want the attention from strangers, I don’t know if they want the interaction to go anywhere, though, maybe they just want the attention.
I'm 27F I like to be approached if the context and the setting allows it. I know it's personal but at a gym I wouldn't like to be approached I'm here to work out. If it's at a bar or a party then I don't mind. I would just say try to strike a conversation about the setting you can ask something like have you been working out here for a long time ? Do you like this gym ? Something like that I would not make remarks about her body or the way she's working out this makes most women feel uncomfortable. Try to stay calm, be confident, smile, have an open body language and if a girl refuses to have a conversation with you accept it and walk away, don't keep talking. I would say it depends of the context, setting, how well you know each other and how you start a conversation.
Don't stare we hate that. Also don't call her baby, ma, or anything like that again we hate it. Don't try to one up her. If you can relate to whatever it is she's talking about then that's all if you try show boat or one up we hate that. Asl how her day is going or compliment her. Now if she doesn't look at you, doesn't respond or even acknowledge anything that you have said or asked. Walk away. If you keep pressing her after that then your gonna be annoying and creepy. I hope this helps
I’d also suggest embracing a bit of vulnerability when you’re talking to someone new. For instance, if you approach a girl and she isn't interested, you could genuinely follow up by saying something like, "I’m trying to get better at meeting new people. Could you give me some feedback? Did I come across too strong or not confident enough? Was there something about my approach or appearance that could be improved?"
Some women might not engage, but many will appreciate the honesty and might offer helpful advice.
This approach could prove to be far more beneficial to you than asking strangers on the internet, who can only give you general advice.
💯- perhaps not the conversation he was initially aiming for - but just getting face time, exchanging words of any sort, and (hopefully) actively listening to a girl will provide an actual valuable (and much needed, apparently) experience.
Time and place definitely matters. So you don't come off as "creepy" .
It will just be a lot easier and natural to speak to women. If you met them at a social setting or gathering, like a party or bar etc .., maybe a friend(s) may introduce you to some? a place where people are more receptive at meeting and talking to new people.
Unlike a gym etc, where people would rather focus on their workouts or whatever they're doing and wouldn't want to be distracted or bothered. and any interaction maybe unwanted and awkward and make you look creepy.
So definitely, go out more to social events and gatherings, preferably with friends..
Maybe, you'll get lucky and someone finds you pleasant and charming.
What if you approach girls at some event/party/venue, so not a neutral place like a gym and they still reject you/react arrogantly or brusque to you the second you say hello?
I would probably just brush it off and walk away. Don't take it personally, those girls are probably just there to have fun with their own friends too.
That's why I mention to go out with friends, so at least, you'll still have your own friends to hang out with.
I met my husband at a bar lol. I actually didn't think, I would be interested, nothing on him, personally. i just had other priorities. And was just there to drink and enjoy my night, not looking for a date, just hanging out with my girlfriends..
But as time went on, we somehow, became friends. And it became more. We've been married 23 years now lol
Enjoy the night with friends and try not to take anything personally. Especially, a rejection from a girl. Just don't let it ruin your night. Just have fun
Women only want the guys they find attractive to approach them. So, if they don’t look at you with a soft smile, just stay away from them.
If you want to maximize your chances, make sure you are always well dress and smelling good. BUT, your social skills will open many doors, so make sure you work on them.
but social skills I feel are not as important as being attractive. Social skills in what sense? Being a jester ass? Being the half a therapist guy? what? It feels like a lot of work to just be the listener, carry the conversation and keep making her feel good. Not sure how that is fun though
>but social skills I feel are not as important as being attractive.
Looks might be able to open a door quicker but if you don't have good social skills you wont be able to do much more than some light small talk...if that.
>Being a jester ass? Being the half a therapist guy?
Do not to play a role. That's just fake and eventually they'll see through it.
Treat her like a person and see if her personality (women have them I know shocker) jives with yours.
There’s no 100% sure way to avoid coming across as a creep.
It not only depends on what you do, it also depends on the woman. Even if you behave perfectly polite, respectful and gentle and aren’t persistent, some women might find you creepy nonetheless while others won’t.
A female friend once complained to me that a creepy guy had hit on her, when asked what he had done she said she didn’t find him attractive and he should have known that she was out of his league and not approached her in the first place.
You just have to deal with things like that.
Talk to them about a 3rd subject. Not you or them, and not the weather or other small talk.
I've got it easy because I'm in Japan.
When at a bar and girls near me order some food, I say out loud in Japanese "that looks delicious" and when I've got their attention, I ask them where that is on the menu and order it.
We break and go back to our groups to chat.
When it comes out, we thank them for their recommendation and continue chatting.
The break makes you not seem like a creep.
Not sure how to do this in other countries
Isn’t commenting on their food also some type of small talk? I don’t get your comment🤷 If not, what’s so bad about small talk? Do they want to discuss Shakespeare’s poets or some mathematical laws? What are the topics that should be discussed? I’m clueless🤷
Food is not small talk in Japan.
Other small talk has set answers. "Yes, it's hot"
"What is that? Where is it on the menu?" Does not have set answers.
You have to remember, you're sitting a foot or 2 away from a lot of people here.
I see this a lot, but the fact is that plenty of conventionally "unattractive" people hook up or get into relationships. A quick browse in a store of couples wandering around together will tell you that. So how do "unattractive" guys do it?
It's not easy- you gotta learn skill and navigate when is appropriate and when isn't. It's not a bad thing to learn but it's definitely nice for attractive dudes that they don't ned to worry about this really.
Being attractive might make the initial approach easier. It's the same for women as well - an attractive girl will get a lot more men approach her than an unattractive one.
Sure but let's not try to pretend like these are comparable experiences. Unattractive men unfortunately have to worry about certain things that no woman or attractive man does in terms of possible consequences as it is known that women who are approached by an ugly man are often overly aggressive in rejections because they are offended by the man thinking she was such that this was an appropriate approach to make even in appropriate settings
Well, none of us (men or women) made the current social system: men as pursuer, women as pursued. But we all contribute to holding it up. Smash the patriarchy and maybe the burden of getting dates will be more evenly distributed :D
They do all the mistakes, they are aggressive, annoying and the reason women prefer to reject men. They do get what they want in the end but many times they leave a mess behind. Not always but just looking at the fact they an unattractive man seems to be successful it's not enough, you need to understand how many failures they had before and how they failed. That would tell a different story.
Being attractive isn't solely about looks. Charisma is a lot about your behaviour and mannerism.
A friend of mine is probably not the man in the room you would notice, around 1,60 m, slender and speaks with a heavy dialect. But he is charming as hell. He'll flirt with everyone around him, dance with three girls at once (usually taller than him) and invite you to join him. So in the end he is the man in the room you will notice.
It is just about looks for most people, one exception doesn’t change the rule. If you’re tall and conventionally attractive then your confident and charismatic, if you aren’t then you’re a creep and a sleaze to most women.
As a general rule, you should generally leave women alone in the gym. I know there are attractive women working hard on their bodies and I know a lot of guys do hit on women in gyms (and quite a few women enjoy that), but gyms are not singles dating zones and many women just want to be left alone and not hit on by randos while they are all sweaty no matter how attractive they are. Plus there is always a risk her roided out meathead boyfriend just got done pumping iron and won't be happy to see you.
If you are in a class or something together then it can become more social and you have more opportunities to chat naturally on breaks, etc.
If there is a natural reason to talk to someone go for it. Otherwise I would get good at making passing compliments to people of both sexes without trying to extend the conversation beyond that so you don't seem persistent or with ulterior motives, but you can make someone's day and start feeling more confident approaching strangers. Might make a new friend or love interest if they are the ones that want to prolong the conversation?
The first step is understanding that you'll always seem like a creep or an irritant to women who don't like you/find you attractive.
So the important thing is to stop caring what they or anyone else thinks.
Related to this is, get out of your own head. Don't stand and watch: approach. Standing and watching (aka staring) is a sure fire way to seem creepy even to women who like you.
Try to keep it short and straight to the point. A quick compliment or other flirtatious comment and then ask for her number. As you become more comfortable, you can become more conversational
Importantly, learn how to take rejection. If she says her phone is broken, don't try to come up with a solution. She would have done so if she liked you. Anything other than a straightforward yes and giving her number is an indication that she's not interested. Leave it there, don't try to persuade her.
Don't take rejection personally. Not everyone will like you and that's okay because you're not interested dating every woman. You just need a few women you can begin talking to and see where it leads.
It takes such balls asking a girl for her number with clear romantic intention, I need to work on being able to do that. If I keep the conversation super casual, I think I come across as wanting to be friends, and so I’ll get their number but basically display zero romantic interest and I end up having to show my interest after we have hung out once or twice. I would make it so much easier on myself if I would just make it clear that I think they’re attractive right off the bat but it’s scary :(
Exactly, women will tell you that you should come off as wanting friendship but it's the worst thing you can do. A friendship with a woman you love romantically is a living hell.
A woman will either like you or not. Force her in the first interactions to consider whether she can see you as someone to be in a relationship with. If not take the rejection and don't accept the "let's be friends" offer.
Also, being direct and confident increases the sexual tension more than anything you can do.
I'm curious how long the "don't objectify" and "treat women like people" comments will come along. Oh also the whole "well, you shouldn't focus on women. instead focus on expanding your network via hobbies and said women in said hobbies can act as matchmakers for their single women friends" or some flavour. Dude it's the HR meme "it's only creepy if you aren't attractive"
respect them and just be a sincere person. i like shy boy who respects me and has a sense of propriety. dont make dirty jokes. hope you meet your miss right
It’s a gym. Not a hook up location. Start by being more comfortable approaching people in general or making conversations/small talk etc. Build on your confidence and keep look maxing or w.e (ie: dress better). Go to more places, be out of your comfort zone. Understand that life is not fair, you can’t make everyone like you, and appearance does matter, it’s the first thing we all see with our eyes. Work with what you have and try to fix what you can. Also having fun, people like fun, bring fun and people will like be around you.
Do not ‘creep around’ for so long that she has time to consider you creepy. Your goal is not to scare her or make her feel uneasy when you’re around. If you want to say hi just say hi like how you usually greet other people. Don’t keep playing chicken and eyes🤦♀️
Don’t worry about meeting girls at the gym. Everyone’s there to do their workout and leave. After the gym tho grab a shower and just chill at somewhere else like a coffee shop, bar or something where there’s people. Get a drink there and wind down and see if people are easier to commute with there as it’s a place more associated with talking to each other. If you feel conscious about going solo then take a book to read or write in, or just something to show you have an intent there but just to dabble with as like a conversation opener
You don't approach, you don't speak, you don't even make eye contact. You go on to get that coffee without bothering anyone and enjoy it by yourself without any annoying people to interrupt your bliss. You live alone, you will die alone, and that's ok.
Be attractive. "Creepy" is just the name women give to the feeling of thinking about sex with someone they aren't attracted to.
So be hot and then read every women's mind so you know which ones are attracted to you. Completely reasonable requirements. Just use your magic wizard powers to read minds.
Us muggles have to guess about a woman's level of interest and if we guess wrong, its a sex crime. Only way to win that game is to not play.
Man bun+ very long beard, possibly ear stretch guages and maybe a few piercings+ tats. Thats pretty much essential for not coming across as a creep, you have to put effort into ahowing you belong to a certain age group/generation/zeitgeist. Wearing pink helps too ❤
If you want to meet people at the gym I recommend trying fitness classes. I met a lot of people doing boxing and spin classes. You find the same people go at the same time so its easy to build rapport before and after class especially if you've seen them a few times. They are usually less than 30 people per class so they will likely have seen you in class too making it a more comfortable situation than a cold approach to someone you haven't seen before.
If you are worried about talking to girls specifically, try to start conversations with guys. A lot less pressure in your head and you will get over the cold approach jitters.
Honestly the best way to talk to a woman is open up with some situational comedy about the situation you're both in and it really doesn't matter where. If you do not have anything but you really like somebody just make up something that seems relatively believable, like "excuse me, do you know where ____ is". Once you get them talking to you then you can make a comment about a book they're holding or whatever, it's pretty freeform you just have to think of something to ask them. If they are receptive to the conversation and not actively looking for a way out of the area because you're not attractive to them or you simply caught them at about time it'll happen naturally.
The other most important thing once you've already established a rapport with somebody is to just genuinely ask how they are and what they're up to. A lot of guys think that pick up lines need to be this practiced thing but the literal #1 thing that gets me horny for someone is being genuinely interested in what I have to say, respectful of my boundaries, and regularly asking for permission/consent to get closer with or touch me without me having to ask them to do it. I can guarantee high quality women value the same thing.
Along with the comedy idea you can also use other men you don't know's failed or awkward attempts at wooing her that you just witnessed together as a way in. It's worked for me quite a few times after he gets rejected for being a creep and walks away, just make a joke about how cringe that was and you'd like to apologize him for being a creep. I've not yet met a woman that wasn't thinking the same thing and even if it goes nowhere it has led to some nice conversations. Also having some kind of demonstrable party technique or something can be very useful. Both never speaking because you're shy and always dominating the airwaves are not cool because it ends up just making you look insecure.
Lastly, almost never approach somebody with the intent to have sex or thinking about sex. Don't insinuate it, don't comment about their bodies sexually etc. Your objective is to get to know this person and see if you even like them as a friend first anyway, not immediately jump into their pants even if that's your only intention. Unless you're insanely attractive and currently at a nightclub it's almost never going to work out and even if it does you might not even like the person that would accept those kind of advances because they probably accept them from many other people as well.
Just get yourself a pair of those roller shoes, slide right up to them and smile and wink. They won’t be able to resist your charm. If you really wanna make a lasting impression, flex and show them your muscles like you’re in a bodybuilding competition after you smile and wink. If you do it correctly the girl should jump right up into your arms and you can slide off on your roller shoes with her and take her on a date right then and there. Make sure to use like a half a bottle of Aqua Velva too, you gotta smell like success.
You are in danger of seeming like a creep if you talk to women at the gym most of us already feel uncomfortable there and the fear we're being watched by someone is always there.
It’s really about the vibe you give off, be confident, be relaxed and calm, be friendly.
Girls can tell when you’re trying too hard and or very insecure. Keep it casual, don’t overthink it, just act like you would talking to a classmate or colleague, casually.
Make eye contact. If they make eye contact back, hold it a little too long. If they hold it too long, smile, mess with their hair, or look embarrassed, approach them.
If you are rejected, brush it off.
Be calm.
Note: it helps here to be good looking. If you can't be good looking at least be well groomed.
Don't worry.
Step 1) be tall and conventionally attractive
If you can’t do step 1 then you’re fucked, everything you do will always seem creepy to women and you’ll die alone
If you don’t wanna seem like a creep.. get buff and drive a joyriding jeep. Dress kool and let the cologne steep in the heat, play it cool and don’t boldly beat your meat
Respectfully I'm broke and ugly and I have no issues. Personality makes a bit of difference. Maybe change your perception a bit and being willing to see things in a different light might help. No disrespect, genuinely trying to help.
Watched a video today of a married guy talking about his dog or some shit. Overweight, balding, glasses. Not particularly tall. Ordinary face. Not wealthy. Wore an old T-shirt and sweatpants. I think it's unlikely he went from a square jaw and Amani suits before he was married to a soft body in sweatpants after. If you look around you'll see that there are plenty of "unattractive" people in relationships. So how do they do it, by your metrics?
Something that worked for me, particularly in the gym is to ask for some help with a set, a spot or some technique.
It starts a conversation and you also don't look like an arrogant ass that thinks he knows everything.
And at worst you got some advice on your form or some help with your set.
Some girls like myself kinda like when men approach me in a sexual creepy way but that’s just me and a small minority of women that do , but that’s cause I’m kinky myself but also think it’s so brave of them to say something sexual about me to me without knowing me yet, I know you will all think I’m trolling but I’m not
What makes you a creep is out of your control if you are attractive to them you can say anything I've said some heinous shit in my youth because I knew they wanted me but my dude if they think you are ugly it doesn't matter what you say they take it as a personal insult you would even speak to them and lose their minds lol
Keep it short and simple. Like a compliment.
For example, "I don't mean to interrupt , but you have very beautiful eyes."
You'll still be rejected at times, but don't let someone else dictate who you are or want to be.
If you can alter mindset so that your approach is just to have a friendly conversation with a stranger rather than to get a date, it will be easier to approach. If the conversation leads to the point where she seems interested, then you can ask for her number or a date. But don’t force it.
Well, first step is to not worry whether you're coming off as a creep because that is ultimately mostly out of your control.
When you flirt with a woman and she's into you, it's all good. When you flirt with a woman and she's not into you, you're automatically perceived as a creep the vast majority of times.
Keep in mind that usually you don't know for sure if she is into you or not until you shoot your shot.
Therefore: if you are a man who wants to be sexually active, you WILL be a creep. Just embrace it, because avoiding it is futile. Every man who's had any semblance of success dating is a creep to some of the women who rejected (no one has a 100% success rate when approaching women).
And, honestly, even though it's extremely unfair, it makes a bit sense from the woman's POV if we think about it and put ourselves in their shoes. Being approached is a very invasive thing and I can imagine it gets annoying when it keeps happening and you're already in a relationship and/or not attracted to the person initiating contact. But, since men are expected to be the initiators, *we don't really have a choice other than to be creeps*.
At a coffee shop you can ask for a small favor “can you watch my stuff for a minute?” when you come back say thank you and start a conversation And grocery store ask a question like “have you tried x yet?”
Being pushy is creepy. You have to take a “no,” including a soft “no”, gracefully. Learning to recognize the hints that she’s not interested is vital. Women are often intimidated by just flat out saying no.
There are, unfortunately, shitty men out there will react to a “no” violently and this has scared us, as a group, hence the heavy hinting at disinterest that I see Redditors complain about. In a perfect world everyone would always be direct without having to be afraid, but that’s not the world we live in.
Total lack of engagement in the conversation, short noncommittal answers, leaning away or trying to slowly walk away, these are strong hints to back off.
It’s rarely personal. Try not to take it personally. Dating is a numbers game.
But yeah, it’s pushiness in the face of disinterest and/or rejection that I find “creepy.”
I’ve always talked to women just like I do with men. They are people first and foremost so I don’t have any problems conversing with women in any way. I think it’s the way a lot of men usually talk to women that makes them uncomfortable.
In the gym you can compliment an exercise/ ask to use the same machine (and then ask for tips if your not that good or it's a new exercise). Personally I work in a pool so my "lines" won't work for you but if you do go and someone catches your eyes and you haven't entered the water yet just ask "how's the water?" Just to break the ice. If she doesn't want to talk to you you'll understand pretty fast in both cases.
You don't really approach people for the sake of it, that in itself is creepy.
Drop the idea of ever being in a relationship and focus on being single, as you can actually enjoy activities and discover new ones without the constant Romance Novel baggage weighing you down -- there will be bouts of depression that's going to rear its head, but that's our biological goals innit. Just got to focus on what you've got in a (presumably) first-world country.
Be aware I'm not saying you'll never find a relationship. What I'm suggesting is dropping it as a goal will ironically speed up being in a relationship as you'll find comfort and love in doing the things you're passionate about. And that's attractive.
Easy. Talk to them like, idk, a human being. They aren’t alien life forms. Ensure that it works on a platonic level. Women aren’t turned on as fast as guys, which is a root of many a misunderstanding between man and woman (or enmity as the Bible says). Women enjoy romance and sex just as much as you they just need to like you as a person first, then maybe later on.
Be friendly, amusing yourselves through conversation in a dull place like a gym.
Sometimes women are turned on right away. I’m not a straight female but it’s been my observation.
I grew up with a dozen female cousins and never had the talking to girls fear. They are just people.
Easy. Talk to them like, idk, a human being. They aren’t alien life forms. Ensure that it works on a platonic level. Women aren’t turned on as fast as guys, which is a root of many a misunderstanding between man and woman (or enmity as the Bible says). Women enjoy romance and sex just as much as you they just need to like you as a person first, then maybe later on.
Be friendly, amusing yourselves through conversation in a dull place like a gym.
Sometimes women are turned on right away. I’m not a straight female but it’s been my observation.
I grew up with a dozen female cousins and never had the talking to girls fear. They are just people.
Learn everything you can before hand so you can tell them all that you know about them in the first interaction. Then get all sweaty and wild eyed and try to corner them so they have to listen this time! 🤣🤣🤣 JK, please don’t do that, could be crimes IDK
I’m only Going to address the gym piece since you mention it in your post. It’s very dicey to approach a girl at the gym. Many Women feel exposed and self-conscious at the gym (because workout clothes are form fitting and the gym is obviously a body focused place), so right off the bat you’re in an uphill battle to find a women in the right frame of mind to consider courtship. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but almost anywhere else is better to strike up a convo with a lady.
broh if you like somebody just go up to them & talk to them ya know use words that come out of your mouth "hey hows it going, im steven where are you from", "what brings you to this particular area", "what do you like to do for fun"? questions like that its really not that hard dude
The challenge is not approaching others and talking to them, most people can work that out. as long as you are friendly and respectful and understand boundaries, you’ll do fine . The real challenge is knowing when to disengage and move on…. In my experience, the creepy behavior comes when the guy just does not get it or when they take it like a personal insult if the encounter is not reciprocal.
One thing my guy friend likes to do at a bar is approach women and ask to guess things about them like occupation, where they’re from, etc. and that gets a convo going.
My biggest advice is to go up to them and say “Hi” or “Hey” or “Hello.” That’s the whole secret. The overwhelming majority of girls will either talk to you or, the worst possible outcome, say “not interested” or something to that effect. In my experience “Hey” has a higher success rate than anything else.
step 1: be attractive
step 2: don't be unattractive
step 3: have a modicrum of confidence and basic social skills
step 4: approach girl
good luck king.
Hey, listen, I’m about to give you the best advice you’re going to receive in these replies and probably your entire life.
Very few people, if any, are good at this naturally. It’s genuinely difficult to be highly effective at starting conversations with strangers in any context, and talking to girls, especially hot ones, is expert mode. You are not an outlier at all. You are the most common case by far. Do not beat yourself up over not getting this right away. You are normal.
This is a skill. I want you to completely understand that. Embed this in your mind. This is a skill. This is a skill. This is a skill.
Like all skills, it takes consistent and intentional practice to improve and eventually master. It takes time. You have to commit to it and make it a habit.
Unfortunately, and this is the truth that anyone that has mastered this skill will tell you, you will face rejection. It happens, even to the best of us. Learning how to take the rejection well is part of the skill. It’s a skill unto itself, really. It takes time to learn how to handle rejection well.
It’s part of the process, though. You have to learn what works and what does it. You can take theory gained from books or YouTube, but applying that theory takes experimentation. You have to learn how to adapt it to you personally. Everyone has their style of playing guitar, but we all play the same notes and chords. What’s different is how they’re played, and the skill of effective conversation is also highly individual, like playing an instrument. There are universal concepts, but there is also the way in which we apply them. Sometimes knowing how and when to break the rules is the sign of a true master.
You have to push through. You have to keep at it, celebrating the victories and learning what made them entail positive outcomes and shrugging off the Ls and understanding what went wrong. That’s how we grow, that’s how we improve, that’s how we master the skill.
The first step is accepting that this is the process. Keep at it and in a year you’ll look back with pride at the progress you’ve made and your newfound agency with women. This skill will help you in every aspect of your life. If you can stride up to the smoking hot 10 at the gym and seamlessly light up a conversation with her, the expert mode, you can definitely do something similar with the guy on your team at work or whatever. You’ll make better friends more easily, generally be a cool guy to be around, and your teammates and office circle will be happy to work with you.
Keep at it. Don’t beat yourself up. Rejection is part of the process. Treat every interaction like an experiment.
Pro tip: Try to warm up by starting conversations with, let’s just say, less intimidating women. Little things, no big deal. If you’re obviously way more attractive than them, they’ll almost always respond positively, even if you fuck up. You can work up to taking to the hot ones like that. Some of them might even be cool people.
I was always afraid to talk to girls because I didn't know how to approach them.
After a lot of years I've come to the the realization that the key is not to go into the conversation. Looking to ask someone out. You just try to start a conversation on anything and try to see what you have in common. If you can make them laugh. If you can have them talking to you and be interested then you have an opportunity for it to go further.
I think the key is not having any expectations going in and walking away if it doesn't look like you're hitting it off.
To a random girl, it depends on how they react. You have to go with the flow. Also, don't take reddit advices blindly. Every woman is different.
As long as you don't have bad intentions, authnetic, respectful, polite, ready to face a rejection, and it is a public place with people around, you should be good.
When you are intentions are not bad, you don't have to care what others think about you.
The gym is a great place to start. If you see a chick there same days/times as you, that's an in. Chances are you have similar goals (eating habits, etc) and can use those to jump from.
I love talking with my gymbros.
30 F here. Maybe some women are willing to meet men at the gym, but I don’t think that’s the ideal place to pick up women lol. We usually just want to be left alone when we’re working out.
1 - Be comfortable in your own skin. Basically be yourself. If you're a little nerdy, be a little nerdy. Same if you're a gym bro, the class clown, the honor student, boy scout, etc.
2 - Listen. I mean learn how to truly listen. Not just the words being said, but how they're said and their context. And listening also means looking. Watching their body language as they're speaking.
3 - Be put together. That doesn't mean being dressed to the nines just to ask a girl out. But always try to look like you know to take care of yourself. Clean clothes, washed face, a little moisturizer, a little cologne (in the proper circumstances), and always use a neutral scented deodorant/antiperspirant.
4 - Be well read. I'm not saying you need to chew through the NY Times best-seller list this summer. Or know obscure details about classic literature. But make a habit of reading. You'll read interactions that may help your attempts at breaking the ice.
5 - Have a sense of humor. Life's too short to not laugh. Especially to not laugh at yourself. If you can crack a good joke, and handle being the butt of a joke, now and again; your chances of success go up considerably.
6 - Don't be pushy. Keep it casual. When you first approach to talk, act like it's not an imperative to talk to them. More that they seemed like a cool person to chat with for a few minutes before going on with your day.
7 - Last, but definitely not least...be graceful in rejection. Mainly because it's a sign of maturity. You'll likely, unless you look like a mid 90s Brad Pitt with the personality of Keanu Reeves, be turned down more often than not. Reacting poorly won't stay between you and her. She'll tell all of her friends, who'll then tell all of their friends while exaggerating how poorly you reacted. But also, a no now doesn't mean it'll always be a no. People change as they grow. Circumstances change. As long as you accept a rejection gracefully, and continue being cool with them afterwards, treating them well and being respectful; their outlook on a date with you may change in the future.
Literally you’re a creep if a girl does not find you attractive. If you are attractive to her, it literally does not matter what you say.
It’s been this way since the beginning of time. Just do your thing and keep going until you find that girl that likes you. Be you…
Probably more inside your head than not. But if you are target-locked on or on ‘the hunt’, you might be giving off creep vibes.
Try approaching everyone as potential friends. Genuinely. The attractions will reveal themselves.
Please don’t watch videos on how to pick up on people. Definitely explore content on how to be more sociable. Here’s a great video specifically on getting out there, as you are looking for ways to meet people.
https://youtu.be/m4gWMTDaxKk?si=MiHqqww4t3aQpkMt
‘Science of People’ and ‘Charisma on Command’ seem to really know what they are doing. I’m sure there’s more.
Stay away from anything that seems to be about tricking or manipulating.
I play tennis and squash and thats a natural environment to talk and mingle on club nights and social night.
Same with most club/hobbie groups.
Make friends and then you have a circle of like minded people..
Context and situations matter.
If it's a social situation, where striking up conversations with strangers and new people wouldn't be out of place (party, bar, concert, sporting event, networking event, beach, resort... you get the idea), then just approach and chat. The more practice you have making small talk with strangers, the better you get.
It's it's a situation where people likely don't want to be bothered, leave them alone. This includes most gyms, grocery stores, people on the street going about their day, people doing their jobs.
If you have a high degree of emotional intelligence and can read people well, there are times when chatting up a person in those situations can be appropriate, but as a general rule, these are the situations where less charismatic people will come off as creepy.
Ah, you just have to go out with your friends, showing off the guys and girls in your pack shows that people trust you.
If you have no friends, then just approach casually and be receptive to non-verbal cues, like if they're short with you and leave, maybe don't approach them again, etc. use your best judgement. But your innocent my friend, if you're thinking about how to not be a creep you'll end up seeming creepy.
If people think you're a creep and you're not they're just brainwashed by fear.
Really just rest them how you would like to be treated (aside from the porongraphic fantasies).
If it helps, pretend you work together so it’s like safe non offensive level talking. Follow the lead but don’t over step or push if a certain way (as groomers do and that’s creepy af)
Be real and nice and respectful ALWAYS. These “girls” are someone’s daughter, sister, cousin, neice, aunt and maybe mother.
*You're overthinking it. Just be yourself and respect personal space, no hovering or staring. Start with a simple "hi" and find common ground, like talking about gym routines. Smile and show interest in what she says. Confidence is key but keep it chill.*
Sadly mate the creepiness comes from looks. When I was younger I was skinny and my face hadn’t filled out also I never really cared about my appearance I would talk to girls and get laughed at pretty much but I’ve never actually struggled with getting on in a friendship situation with girls.
I tried changing things I got newbie gains at the gym I changed my hair and have a beard I talk to girls now and it just feels easy almost I will be at a bar and I’ll notice some looks and I’ll go over I’ll say I noticed ‘something about them’ and had to come over after that I’ll say well I was in the queue so I think it’s only right if you come and wait with me I’ve got a good success rate these day
Just be you because every person is different and there're as many different ways that will work as there is that won't so just do you. Women are really simple creatures - I think men just interact too much with the shit tier versions of my gender tbh. Tell us we're pretty, feed us and don't make us question if you're really in it or not and if you wanna talk to multiple women at a time - just be single or communicate honestly with people open to a poly relationship. It's that easy.
If they don't find you attractive, they'll probably consider you a creep. Just keep it casual. If they don't seem to be makingnany attempt to engage in the convo or showing no interest, just walk away and do something else
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Learn to interact with strangers not only girls you like, it’s all practice like everything else, force yourself into conversations with random people, ask people questions and see how long you can keep the conversation going, after a while you’ll learn what works. Then you’ll be less anxious when you talk to a girl you like
I dunno, man, I have absolutely zero problems talking with strangers but attractive women get me so nervous
Think of them as another stranger
Exactly this. And to elaborate on the why - the reason why you falter talking to an attractive person is because you’re putting pressure on yourself. You’re putting pressure on yourself because you want a specific outcome from the interaction. Whether it’s as small as a number or as big as sex, it’s still something you feel you are investing heavily in. Compare that to a stranger who’s just practice. The stranger is going to be replaced in seconds by another stranger, so why care about that interaction? Whilst it might not feel like it at the time, there are many attractive people out there. Being attracted to one doesn’t mean they’re the one. Don’t pedestal the person. They’re just another stranger. All that being said - people are still people, not just targets, so it’s important to be respectful as well.
That was excellent advice 👌
If a girl makes eye contact and smiles, that’s clear permission to approach. It’s always safe to mention something relevant to the circumstances and see what response you get. Ex: you’re both looking at the protein powders at the gym/grocery store and you say “have you tried the chocolate? It’s so good!” Ex: You’re both listening to the same band at a summer concert in the park and you say “wow covering this song was a bold choice, right?” Basically, asking a question that doesn’t put her on the spot but starts a conversation. It feels so confrontational when a man outright compliments me because then I have to decide immediately whether I am interested or not in them, so I’ll lean “no” just because I’ve been put on the spot. I’ve rejected perfectly good looking, seemingly nice men just because they approached to aggressively, “hey you are looking great tonight!” will make me want to run away if they are a stranger. It’s almost a more insecure way to approach a woman because it’s like an instant “do you like me or not? So I can move on to the next one asap if you don’t”. But a little chat or conversation opener about the situation we are sharing will draw me in and I can figure out if you’re a safe guy to talk to. I really like it when a man approaches me this way and I appreciate their courage and patience.
"If a girl makes eye contact and smiles" welp guess I can't make it to the first step then
Lol. Don't worry.... that's not a clear sign of anything. They could be crazy and are thinking of grinding your bones to make their bread. They could be remembering that funny family guy moment. Different ppl have different ways about them. Even if she's running from you, screaming... just keep trying. You'll get her some day. Just don't give up, because then she'll make it to the station and you'll have the boys in blue chasing you.
not really, a no is a no, and that’s good this way. I get many smiles and signals but I have zero experience and I think I’ve wasted like 1000 opportunities so far😓
In my country people don't smile at strangers xD
Thanks I like the ideas!
Also, notice the little things. Don't right away say, "You look beautiful or something like that, but if you noticed she's wearing her hair differently, just say point it out. Say it looks nice and that's it". No Mas!
>but if you noticed she's wearing her hair differently, just say point it out How long have you been watching me to know my hair is different?
"Not long. I only found your address last week!"
Ill add something, if a woman is just flat out decked out like did her hair, great fashion, great style. You can say "I like your style!" Mega bonus points if you are also taken care of that day. In fact, apart from your energy, having really good style is an important factor in you getting positive responses.
Nah, just because i smile at you dosnt mean i'm interested in you. I'm just nice, because i wish this World was a bit nicer.
>If a girl makes eye contact and smiles, that’s clear permission to approach. I've heard so many women say the complete opposite, that they're just being friendly. That they wish they could smile without it being seen as an invitation. Hell you have some women responding to you saying that.
Very interesting points, thank you. Though, some would probably feel that casual approaching would feel like too much "beating around the bush", no? If a genuine rapport is built, and you even get to spend time doing stuff together (in public), when would be a good time to discuss more serious relationship stuff? Would there have to be a gradual transition from public spaces to private spaces?
Counter point: if they work there, even though they are making eye contact and being so nice, don’t hit on them.
I have problem I can't watch in people's eyes, f\*ck I can't watch more 5 seconds in eyes of my girlfriend
I, for lack of confidence, stupidity or bad game or whatever other reasons, always avoided girls who smile at me and give signals AND mostly approach girls who pretend like I don’t exist/clearly seem uninterested in me, only to get harshly rejected afterwards, why do I keep doing this? The ones that smile at me and twirl their hair when they see me certainly have more interest in me than those who look away and ignore me the second they see me, maybe low confidence? I always question the fact that the girl smiling could have an interest in me, I question that. So I reject what could have been a nice approach and maybe a number and a date afterwards and get filled with remorse and then approach the uninterested girl and get rejected and frustrated, and I slowly begin to question my confidence/looks/value as a guy😓. How do I break this cycle?
Just be more open with everybody. Try not to judge, and show concern and interest for others. Someone you are interested in will quickly realize this. If you start engaging everyone you meet, it will become a normal thing for you. You'll meet someone with whom you have a connection.
>It feels so confrontational when a man outright compliments me because then I have to decide immediately whether I am interested or not in them, so I’ll lean “no” just because I’ve been put on the spot. That is an odd one. Respectfully though, how is that confrontational? Isn't directness better or is that like skipping foreplay? Some women look amazing in their gym gear or it could be as simple as their eyebrows
Because, if the intention is to eventually ask woman out, starting with an obvious “I like you” means the woman has milliseconds to decide whether to respond with the attitude of “I like you too” or “leave me alone”. I’ll usually opt for “leave me alone” attitude regardless of the man who is cornering me, because I do feel cornered. Put on the spot. Pressured. If someone, anyone, approaches me at the gym to tell me I look good, I’ll say “thanks” and walk away. If someone, anyone, approaches me to chat about this or that exercise, what’s on the tv, or something easier to respond to, I’ll happily chat with them and find out who they are. They may have no intention of getting my number at all, and that makes me comfortable and even curious. Every woman is different, but several friends and family members of mine have agreed they react the same as me. It’s the “creep” feeling some women get when a total stranger compliments her physical appearance. Maybe some women want the attention from strangers, I don’t know if they want the interaction to go anywhere, though, maybe they just want the attention.
> If a girl makes eye contact and smiles, that’s clear permission to approach. girls do this to me on accident, then regret it.
OR making a comment about she’s wearing or holding. “ What a lovely dress ! Did you make it yourself ? “
And then sex?
I'm 27F I like to be approached if the context and the setting allows it. I know it's personal but at a gym I wouldn't like to be approached I'm here to work out. If it's at a bar or a party then I don't mind. I would just say try to strike a conversation about the setting you can ask something like have you been working out here for a long time ? Do you like this gym ? Something like that I would not make remarks about her body or the way she's working out this makes most women feel uncomfortable. Try to stay calm, be confident, smile, have an open body language and if a girl refuses to have a conversation with you accept it and walk away, don't keep talking. I would say it depends of the context, setting, how well you know each other and how you start a conversation.
Don't stare we hate that. Also don't call her baby, ma, or anything like that again we hate it. Don't try to one up her. If you can relate to whatever it is she's talking about then that's all if you try show boat or one up we hate that. Asl how her day is going or compliment her. Now if she doesn't look at you, doesn't respond or even acknowledge anything that you have said or asked. Walk away. If you keep pressing her after that then your gonna be annoying and creepy. I hope this helps
Yes thanks, I find those names you said in the beginning very cringey and I would be mortified if I tried talking to someone like that.
I’d also suggest embracing a bit of vulnerability when you’re talking to someone new. For instance, if you approach a girl and she isn't interested, you could genuinely follow up by saying something like, "I’m trying to get better at meeting new people. Could you give me some feedback? Did I come across too strong or not confident enough? Was there something about my approach or appearance that could be improved?" Some women might not engage, but many will appreciate the honesty and might offer helpful advice. This approach could prove to be far more beneficial to you than asking strangers on the internet, who can only give you general advice.
Get good at reading their body language, asking them is a waste of time, some might give you wrong information just because they want to be nice.
💯- perhaps not the conversation he was initially aiming for - but just getting face time, exchanging words of any sort, and (hopefully) actively listening to a girl will provide an actual valuable (and much needed, apparently) experience.
This is a decent starting point. Be kind, interested and respectful. If she doesn't react or react negatively, just get tf out
Time and place definitely matters. So you don't come off as "creepy" . It will just be a lot easier and natural to speak to women. If you met them at a social setting or gathering, like a party or bar etc .., maybe a friend(s) may introduce you to some? a place where people are more receptive at meeting and talking to new people. Unlike a gym etc, where people would rather focus on their workouts or whatever they're doing and wouldn't want to be distracted or bothered. and any interaction maybe unwanted and awkward and make you look creepy. So definitely, go out more to social events and gatherings, preferably with friends.. Maybe, you'll get lucky and someone finds you pleasant and charming.
Also for the love of god don’t hit on women who are at work and can’t leave the interaction. That’s the worst.
What if you approach girls at some event/party/venue, so not a neutral place like a gym and they still reject you/react arrogantly or brusque to you the second you say hello?
I would probably just brush it off and walk away. Don't take it personally, those girls are probably just there to have fun with their own friends too. That's why I mention to go out with friends, so at least, you'll still have your own friends to hang out with. I met my husband at a bar lol. I actually didn't think, I would be interested, nothing on him, personally. i just had other priorities. And was just there to drink and enjoy my night, not looking for a date, just hanging out with my girlfriends.. But as time went on, we somehow, became friends. And it became more. We've been married 23 years now lol Enjoy the night with friends and try not to take anything personally. Especially, a rejection from a girl. Just don't let it ruin your night. Just have fun
Women only want the guys they find attractive to approach them. So, if they don’t look at you with a soft smile, just stay away from them. If you want to maximize your chances, make sure you are always well dress and smelling good. BUT, your social skills will open many doors, so make sure you work on them.
but social skills I feel are not as important as being attractive. Social skills in what sense? Being a jester ass? Being the half a therapist guy? what? It feels like a lot of work to just be the listener, carry the conversation and keep making her feel good. Not sure how that is fun though
>but social skills I feel are not as important as being attractive. Looks might be able to open a door quicker but if you don't have good social skills you wont be able to do much more than some light small talk...if that. >Being a jester ass? Being the half a therapist guy? Do not to play a role. That's just fake and eventually they'll see through it. Treat her like a person and see if her personality (women have them I know shocker) jives with yours.
There’s no 100% sure way to avoid coming across as a creep. It not only depends on what you do, it also depends on the woman. Even if you behave perfectly polite, respectful and gentle and aren’t persistent, some women might find you creepy nonetheless while others won’t. A female friend once complained to me that a creepy guy had hit on her, when asked what he had done she said she didn’t find him attractive and he should have known that she was out of his league and not approached her in the first place. You just have to deal with things like that.
yet men are thrown under the bus as the superficial people
Jesus, what a shallow and unempathetic woman. Is that really someone you want to be friends with?
It's most women. It's also most men but men don't call women they find unattractive creepy. We're all judging superficially.
Talk to them about a 3rd subject. Not you or them, and not the weather or other small talk. I've got it easy because I'm in Japan. When at a bar and girls near me order some food, I say out loud in Japanese "that looks delicious" and when I've got their attention, I ask them where that is on the menu and order it. We break and go back to our groups to chat. When it comes out, we thank them for their recommendation and continue chatting. The break makes you not seem like a creep. Not sure how to do this in other countries
Isn’t commenting on their food also some type of small talk? I don’t get your comment🤷 If not, what’s so bad about small talk? Do they want to discuss Shakespeare’s poets or some mathematical laws? What are the topics that should be discussed? I’m clueless🤷
Food is not small talk in Japan. Other small talk has set answers. "Yes, it's hot" "What is that? Where is it on the menu?" Does not have set answers. You have to remember, you're sitting a foot or 2 away from a lot of people here.
1.) Be attractive 2.) Don't be unattractive
I see this a lot, but the fact is that plenty of conventionally "unattractive" people hook up or get into relationships. A quick browse in a store of couples wandering around together will tell you that. So how do "unattractive" guys do it?
It's not easy- you gotta learn skill and navigate when is appropriate and when isn't. It's not a bad thing to learn but it's definitely nice for attractive dudes that they don't ned to worry about this really.
Being attractive might make the initial approach easier. It's the same for women as well - an attractive girl will get a lot more men approach her than an unattractive one.
Sure but let's not try to pretend like these are comparable experiences. Unattractive men unfortunately have to worry about certain things that no woman or attractive man does in terms of possible consequences as it is known that women who are approached by an ugly man are often overly aggressive in rejections because they are offended by the man thinking she was such that this was an appropriate approach to make even in appropriate settings
Well, none of us (men or women) made the current social system: men as pursuer, women as pursued. But we all contribute to holding it up. Smash the patriarchy and maybe the burden of getting dates will be more evenly distributed :D
They do all the mistakes, they are aggressive, annoying and the reason women prefer to reject men. They do get what they want in the end but many times they leave a mess behind. Not always but just looking at the fact they an unattractive man seems to be successful it's not enough, you need to understand how many failures they had before and how they failed. That would tell a different story.
bingo but no we are told to go to dance classes but treat them like friends and friendzone ourselves until finally they give us a chance, oy vey
Being attractive isn't solely about looks. Charisma is a lot about your behaviour and mannerism. A friend of mine is probably not the man in the room you would notice, around 1,60 m, slender and speaks with a heavy dialect. But he is charming as hell. He'll flirt with everyone around him, dance with three girls at once (usually taller than him) and invite you to join him. So in the end he is the man in the room you will notice.
It is just about looks for most people, one exception doesn’t change the rule. If you’re tall and conventionally attractive then your confident and charismatic, if you aren’t then you’re a creep and a sleaze to most women.
Treat them as you treat tour friend. Or parents. Or what ever other human. Be yourself. You won't click with everyone. But when do - best ever.
"Hey mom"
Well, if you are into that. One day it will work.
Mommy*
As a general rule, you should generally leave women alone in the gym. I know there are attractive women working hard on their bodies and I know a lot of guys do hit on women in gyms (and quite a few women enjoy that), but gyms are not singles dating zones and many women just want to be left alone and not hit on by randos while they are all sweaty no matter how attractive they are. Plus there is always a risk her roided out meathead boyfriend just got done pumping iron and won't be happy to see you. If you are in a class or something together then it can become more social and you have more opportunities to chat naturally on breaks, etc. If there is a natural reason to talk to someone go for it. Otherwise I would get good at making passing compliments to people of both sexes without trying to extend the conversation beyond that so you don't seem persistent or with ulterior motives, but you can make someone's day and start feeling more confident approaching strangers. Might make a new friend or love interest if they are the ones that want to prolong the conversation?
Be confident. If you can't be confident, at least be hot. If you can't be confident or hot....be funny as fuck. Otherwise you're wasting time.
The first step is understanding that you'll always seem like a creep or an irritant to women who don't like you/find you attractive. So the important thing is to stop caring what they or anyone else thinks. Related to this is, get out of your own head. Don't stand and watch: approach. Standing and watching (aka staring) is a sure fire way to seem creepy even to women who like you. Try to keep it short and straight to the point. A quick compliment or other flirtatious comment and then ask for her number. As you become more comfortable, you can become more conversational Importantly, learn how to take rejection. If she says her phone is broken, don't try to come up with a solution. She would have done so if she liked you. Anything other than a straightforward yes and giving her number is an indication that she's not interested. Leave it there, don't try to persuade her. Don't take rejection personally. Not everyone will like you and that's okay because you're not interested dating every woman. You just need a few women you can begin talking to and see where it leads.
It takes such balls asking a girl for her number with clear romantic intention, I need to work on being able to do that. If I keep the conversation super casual, I think I come across as wanting to be friends, and so I’ll get their number but basically display zero romantic interest and I end up having to show my interest after we have hung out once or twice. I would make it so much easier on myself if I would just make it clear that I think they’re attractive right off the bat but it’s scary :(
Exactly, women will tell you that you should come off as wanting friendship but it's the worst thing you can do. A friendship with a woman you love romantically is a living hell. A woman will either like you or not. Force her in the first interactions to consider whether she can see you as someone to be in a relationship with. If not take the rejection and don't accept the "let's be friends" offer. Also, being direct and confident increases the sexual tension more than anything you can do.
I'm curious how long the "don't objectify" and "treat women like people" comments will come along. Oh also the whole "well, you shouldn't focus on women. instead focus on expanding your network via hobbies and said women in said hobbies can act as matchmakers for their single women friends" or some flavour. Dude it's the HR meme "it's only creepy if you aren't attractive"
respect them and just be a sincere person. i like shy boy who respects me and has a sense of propriety. dont make dirty jokes. hope you meet your miss right
Don’t force it. Putting people in situations they didn’t sign up for just makes them feel troubled.
It’s a gym. Not a hook up location. Start by being more comfortable approaching people in general or making conversations/small talk etc. Build on your confidence and keep look maxing or w.e (ie: dress better). Go to more places, be out of your comfort zone. Understand that life is not fair, you can’t make everyone like you, and appearance does matter, it’s the first thing we all see with our eyes. Work with what you have and try to fix what you can. Also having fun, people like fun, bring fun and people will like be around you.
Be you, independent of the other person's gender. Talk to women like you'd talk to men.
"Hey bro, what's cookin'?"
"Aye bro, how much you bench?"
“Bro I just deadlifted 4 plates today I’m fuckin stoked”
WHATSUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP X
In my experience this is how you get women friends not a partner
Friends to partners are the best ones usually.
You talk to other stranger men ?
Do not ‘creep around’ for so long that she has time to consider you creepy. Your goal is not to scare her or make her feel uneasy when you’re around. If you want to say hi just say hi like how you usually greet other people. Don’t keep playing chicken and eyes🤦♀️
Don’t worry about meeting girls at the gym. Everyone’s there to do their workout and leave. After the gym tho grab a shower and just chill at somewhere else like a coffee shop, bar or something where there’s people. Get a drink there and wind down and see if people are easier to commute with there as it’s a place more associated with talking to each other. If you feel conscious about going solo then take a book to read or write in, or just something to show you have an intent there but just to dabble with as like a conversation opener
You don't approach, you don't speak, you don't even make eye contact. You go on to get that coffee without bothering anyone and enjoy it by yourself without any annoying people to interrupt your bliss. You live alone, you will die alone, and that's ok.
Be attractive. "Creepy" is just the name women give to the feeling of thinking about sex with someone they aren't attracted to. So be hot and then read every women's mind so you know which ones are attracted to you. Completely reasonable requirements. Just use your magic wizard powers to read minds. Us muggles have to guess about a woman's level of interest and if we guess wrong, its a sex crime. Only way to win that game is to not play.
Or just, you know, listen to her and don't commit sex crimes?
bingo
Just don't say anything creepy.
Just be nice and dont pay too much attention.....
Man bun+ very long beard, possibly ear stretch guages and maybe a few piercings+ tats. Thats pretty much essential for not coming across as a creep, you have to put effort into ahowing you belong to a certain age group/generation/zeitgeist. Wearing pink helps too ❤
How do you approach a guy? That's right you're not too friendly and you're cool wether you make him a friend or not. The same way with girls
Watch on you tube riss jeffries.
Be attractive
Let them sniff you first, they scare easily
It's not what one say as much as who say it, if you are ugly then you are a creep if you are hot then you are not lol
If you want to meet people at the gym I recommend trying fitness classes. I met a lot of people doing boxing and spin classes. You find the same people go at the same time so its easy to build rapport before and after class especially if you've seen them a few times. They are usually less than 30 people per class so they will likely have seen you in class too making it a more comfortable situation than a cold approach to someone you haven't seen before. If you are worried about talking to girls specifically, try to start conversations with guys. A lot less pressure in your head and you will get over the cold approach jitters.
Honestly the best way to talk to a woman is open up with some situational comedy about the situation you're both in and it really doesn't matter where. If you do not have anything but you really like somebody just make up something that seems relatively believable, like "excuse me, do you know where ____ is". Once you get them talking to you then you can make a comment about a book they're holding or whatever, it's pretty freeform you just have to think of something to ask them. If they are receptive to the conversation and not actively looking for a way out of the area because you're not attractive to them or you simply caught them at about time it'll happen naturally. The other most important thing once you've already established a rapport with somebody is to just genuinely ask how they are and what they're up to. A lot of guys think that pick up lines need to be this practiced thing but the literal #1 thing that gets me horny for someone is being genuinely interested in what I have to say, respectful of my boundaries, and regularly asking for permission/consent to get closer with or touch me without me having to ask them to do it. I can guarantee high quality women value the same thing. Along with the comedy idea you can also use other men you don't know's failed or awkward attempts at wooing her that you just witnessed together as a way in. It's worked for me quite a few times after he gets rejected for being a creep and walks away, just make a joke about how cringe that was and you'd like to apologize him for being a creep. I've not yet met a woman that wasn't thinking the same thing and even if it goes nowhere it has led to some nice conversations. Also having some kind of demonstrable party technique or something can be very useful. Both never speaking because you're shy and always dominating the airwaves are not cool because it ends up just making you look insecure. Lastly, almost never approach somebody with the intent to have sex or thinking about sex. Don't insinuate it, don't comment about their bodies sexually etc. Your objective is to get to know this person and see if you even like them as a friend first anyway, not immediately jump into their pants even if that's your only intention. Unless you're insanely attractive and currently at a nightclub it's almost never going to work out and even if it does you might not even like the person that would accept those kind of advances because they probably accept them from many other people as well.
Don’t be ugly
Don’t be ugly ig
If you are good looking they won’t think you’re a creep. If not, they will.
Just get yourself a pair of those roller shoes, slide right up to them and smile and wink. They won’t be able to resist your charm. If you really wanna make a lasting impression, flex and show them your muscles like you’re in a bodybuilding competition after you smile and wink. If you do it correctly the girl should jump right up into your arms and you can slide off on your roller shoes with her and take her on a date right then and there. Make sure to use like a half a bottle of Aqua Velva too, you gotta smell like success.
You are in danger of seeming like a creep if you talk to women at the gym most of us already feel uncomfortable there and the fear we're being watched by someone is always there.
It’s really about the vibe you give off, be confident, be relaxed and calm, be friendly. Girls can tell when you’re trying too hard and or very insecure. Keep it casual, don’t overthink it, just act like you would talking to a classmate or colleague, casually.
Make eye contact. If they make eye contact back, hold it a little too long. If they hold it too long, smile, mess with their hair, or look embarrassed, approach them. If you are rejected, brush it off. Be calm. Note: it helps here to be good looking. If you can't be good looking at least be well groomed. Don't worry.
Approach dong first, if you can scream like s banshee, she'll love that
if he does a backflip, even better
The whirling dragon fly.. the stuff of legends!
It's funny because you just don't.
Being physically attractive is 90%
Get blackout drunk so your confidence will be sky high
Step 1) be tall and conventionally attractive If you can’t do step 1 then you’re fucked, everything you do will always seem creepy to women and you’ll die alone
Basically, if she finds you hot, it's hard to be creepy.
And inverse, if you're average to below average looking, even doing the most normal shit seems creepy.
If you don’t wanna seem like a creep.. get buff and drive a joyriding jeep. Dress kool and let the cologne steep in the heat, play it cool and don’t boldly beat your meat
Step one: be attractive Step two: have wealth & status, or be able to present the illusion of wealth and status. Step three: Don't be unattractive.
Respectfully I'm broke and ugly and I have no issues. Personality makes a bit of difference. Maybe change your perception a bit and being willing to see things in a different light might help. No disrespect, genuinely trying to help.
Watched a video today of a married guy talking about his dog or some shit. Overweight, balding, glasses. Not particularly tall. Ordinary face. Not wealthy. Wore an old T-shirt and sweatpants. I think it's unlikely he went from a square jaw and Amani suits before he was married to a soft body in sweatpants after. If you look around you'll see that there are plenty of "unattractive" people in relationships. So how do they do it, by your metrics?
Either he’s quietly rich or he married at a time when being single as a woman was social and financial suicide
You don't.
definitely run up and flail your arms.
Hi.
Something that worked for me, particularly in the gym is to ask for some help with a set, a spot or some technique. It starts a conversation and you also don't look like an arrogant ass that thinks he knows everything. And at worst you got some advice on your form or some help with your set.
Don't.
You can always ask to work-in with a cute girl using a machine or free weights. Chat her up a bit while you're at it!
Some girls like myself kinda like when men approach me in a sexual creepy way but that’s just me and a small minority of women that do , but that’s cause I’m kinky myself but also think it’s so brave of them to say something sexual about me to me without knowing me yet, I know you will all think I’m trolling but I’m not
What makes you a creep is out of your control if you are attractive to them you can say anything I've said some heinous shit in my youth because I knew they wanted me but my dude if they think you are ugly it doesn't matter what you say they take it as a personal insult you would even speak to them and lose their minds lol
Just send it bro
Keep it short and simple. Like a compliment. For example, "I don't mean to interrupt , but you have very beautiful eyes." You'll still be rejected at times, but don't let someone else dictate who you are or want to be.
If you can alter mindset so that your approach is just to have a friendly conversation with a stranger rather than to get a date, it will be easier to approach. If the conversation leads to the point where she seems interested, then you can ask for her number or a date. But don’t force it.
Well, first step is to not worry whether you're coming off as a creep because that is ultimately mostly out of your control. When you flirt with a woman and she's into you, it's all good. When you flirt with a woman and she's not into you, you're automatically perceived as a creep the vast majority of times. Keep in mind that usually you don't know for sure if she is into you or not until you shoot your shot. Therefore: if you are a man who wants to be sexually active, you WILL be a creep. Just embrace it, because avoiding it is futile. Every man who's had any semblance of success dating is a creep to some of the women who rejected (no one has a 100% success rate when approaching women). And, honestly, even though it's extremely unfair, it makes a bit sense from the woman's POV if we think about it and put ourselves in their shoes. Being approached is a very invasive thing and I can imagine it gets annoying when it keeps happening and you're already in a relationship and/or not attracted to the person initiating contact. But, since men are expected to be the initiators, *we don't really have a choice other than to be creeps*.
At a coffee shop you can ask for a small favor “can you watch my stuff for a minute?” when you come back say thank you and start a conversation And grocery store ask a question like “have you tried x yet?”
Being pushy is creepy. You have to take a “no,” including a soft “no”, gracefully. Learning to recognize the hints that she’s not interested is vital. Women are often intimidated by just flat out saying no. There are, unfortunately, shitty men out there will react to a “no” violently and this has scared us, as a group, hence the heavy hinting at disinterest that I see Redditors complain about. In a perfect world everyone would always be direct without having to be afraid, but that’s not the world we live in. Total lack of engagement in the conversation, short noncommittal answers, leaning away or trying to slowly walk away, these are strong hints to back off. It’s rarely personal. Try not to take it personally. Dating is a numbers game. But yeah, it’s pushiness in the face of disinterest and/or rejection that I find “creepy.”
Try to see them as a person and not as a possible sexual partner.
I’ve always talked to women just like I do with men. They are people first and foremost so I don’t have any problems conversing with women in any way. I think it’s the way a lot of men usually talk to women that makes them uncomfortable.
It's simple. Don't act like one ...
IN DOCTOR PSYCOTIC AND I MAKE LIFE WITH MY DNA IS MY EVIL LABORATORY
Be genuine and respectful. Start with a friendly hello and a smile. Keep the conversation light and see how she responds.
In the gym you can compliment an exercise/ ask to use the same machine (and then ask for tips if your not that good or it's a new exercise). Personally I work in a pool so my "lines" won't work for you but if you do go and someone catches your eyes and you haven't entered the water yet just ask "how's the water?" Just to break the ice. If she doesn't want to talk to you you'll understand pretty fast in both cases.
You don't really approach people for the sake of it, that in itself is creepy. Drop the idea of ever being in a relationship and focus on being single, as you can actually enjoy activities and discover new ones without the constant Romance Novel baggage weighing you down -- there will be bouts of depression that's going to rear its head, but that's our biological goals innit. Just got to focus on what you've got in a (presumably) first-world country. Be aware I'm not saying you'll never find a relationship. What I'm suggesting is dropping it as a goal will ironically speed up being in a relationship as you'll find comfort and love in doing the things you're passionate about. And that's attractive.
 Like so
Easy. Talk to them like, idk, a human being. They aren’t alien life forms. Ensure that it works on a platonic level. Women aren’t turned on as fast as guys, which is a root of many a misunderstanding between man and woman (or enmity as the Bible says). Women enjoy romance and sex just as much as you they just need to like you as a person first, then maybe later on. Be friendly, amusing yourselves through conversation in a dull place like a gym. Sometimes women are turned on right away. I’m not a straight female but it’s been my observation. I grew up with a dozen female cousins and never had the talking to girls fear. They are just people.
Easy. Talk to them like, idk, a human being. They aren’t alien life forms. Ensure that it works on a platonic level. Women aren’t turned on as fast as guys, which is a root of many a misunderstanding between man and woman (or enmity as the Bible says). Women enjoy romance and sex just as much as you they just need to like you as a person first, then maybe later on. Be friendly, amusing yourselves through conversation in a dull place like a gym. Sometimes women are turned on right away. I’m not a straight female but it’s been my observation. I grew up with a dozen female cousins and never had the talking to girls fear. They are just people.
https://youtu.be/hV2qiH2gxQs?si=Le7V5oqin55CRoef
Learn everything you can before hand so you can tell them all that you know about them in the first interaction. Then get all sweaty and wild eyed and try to corner them so they have to listen this time! 🤣🤣🤣 JK, please don’t do that, could be crimes IDK
I’m only Going to address the gym piece since you mention it in your post. It’s very dicey to approach a girl at the gym. Many Women feel exposed and self-conscious at the gym (because workout clothes are form fitting and the gym is obviously a body focused place), so right off the bat you’re in an uphill battle to find a women in the right frame of mind to consider courtship. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but almost anywhere else is better to strike up a convo with a lady.
Just don’t talk to them if they seem uncomfortable
broh if you like somebody just go up to them & talk to them ya know use words that come out of your mouth "hey hows it going, im steven where are you from", "what brings you to this particular area", "what do you like to do for fun"? questions like that its really not that hard dude
The challenge is not approaching others and talking to them, most people can work that out. as long as you are friendly and respectful and understand boundaries, you’ll do fine . The real challenge is knowing when to disengage and move on…. In my experience, the creepy behavior comes when the guy just does not get it or when they take it like a personal insult if the encounter is not reciprocal.
One thing my guy friend likes to do at a bar is approach women and ask to guess things about them like occupation, where they’re from, etc. and that gets a convo going.
Be handsome.
Just be normal. Be casual. Be intentional with your conversations.
My biggest advice is to go up to them and say “Hi” or “Hey” or “Hello.” That’s the whole secret. The overwhelming majority of girls will either talk to you or, the worst possible outcome, say “not interested” or something to that effect. In my experience “Hey” has a higher success rate than anything else.
step 1: be attractive step 2: don't be unattractive step 3: have a modicrum of confidence and basic social skills step 4: approach girl good luck king.
It’s 2024. Good luck.
First of all, talk to women and not girls.
Hey, listen, I’m about to give you the best advice you’re going to receive in these replies and probably your entire life. Very few people, if any, are good at this naturally. It’s genuinely difficult to be highly effective at starting conversations with strangers in any context, and talking to girls, especially hot ones, is expert mode. You are not an outlier at all. You are the most common case by far. Do not beat yourself up over not getting this right away. You are normal. This is a skill. I want you to completely understand that. Embed this in your mind. This is a skill. This is a skill. This is a skill. Like all skills, it takes consistent and intentional practice to improve and eventually master. It takes time. You have to commit to it and make it a habit. Unfortunately, and this is the truth that anyone that has mastered this skill will tell you, you will face rejection. It happens, even to the best of us. Learning how to take the rejection well is part of the skill. It’s a skill unto itself, really. It takes time to learn how to handle rejection well. It’s part of the process, though. You have to learn what works and what does it. You can take theory gained from books or YouTube, but applying that theory takes experimentation. You have to learn how to adapt it to you personally. Everyone has their style of playing guitar, but we all play the same notes and chords. What’s different is how they’re played, and the skill of effective conversation is also highly individual, like playing an instrument. There are universal concepts, but there is also the way in which we apply them. Sometimes knowing how and when to break the rules is the sign of a true master. You have to push through. You have to keep at it, celebrating the victories and learning what made them entail positive outcomes and shrugging off the Ls and understanding what went wrong. That’s how we grow, that’s how we improve, that’s how we master the skill. The first step is accepting that this is the process. Keep at it and in a year you’ll look back with pride at the progress you’ve made and your newfound agency with women. This skill will help you in every aspect of your life. If you can stride up to the smoking hot 10 at the gym and seamlessly light up a conversation with her, the expert mode, you can definitely do something similar with the guy on your team at work or whatever. You’ll make better friends more easily, generally be a cool guy to be around, and your teammates and office circle will be happy to work with you. Keep at it. Don’t beat yourself up. Rejection is part of the process. Treat every interaction like an experiment. Pro tip: Try to warm up by starting conversations with, let’s just say, less intimidating women. Little things, no big deal. If you’re obviously way more attractive than them, they’ll almost always respond positively, even if you fuck up. You can work up to taking to the hot ones like that. Some of them might even be cool people.
I was always afraid to talk to girls because I didn't know how to approach them. After a lot of years I've come to the the realization that the key is not to go into the conversation. Looking to ask someone out. You just try to start a conversation on anything and try to see what you have in common. If you can make them laugh. If you can have them talking to you and be interested then you have an opportunity for it to go further. I think the key is not having any expectations going in and walking away if it doesn't look like you're hitting it off.
It’s not possible
Step:1 don't be ugly Step 1: look at step 1
To a random girl, it depends on how they react. You have to go with the flow. Also, don't take reddit advices blindly. Every woman is different. As long as you don't have bad intentions, authnetic, respectful, polite, ready to face a rejection, and it is a public place with people around, you should be good. When you are intentions are not bad, you don't have to care what others think about you.
The gym is a great place to start. If you see a chick there same days/times as you, that's an in. Chances are you have similar goals (eating habits, etc) and can use those to jump from. I love talking with my gymbros.
30 F here. Maybe some women are willing to meet men at the gym, but I don’t think that’s the ideal place to pick up women lol. We usually just want to be left alone when we’re working out.
Talk to people like people and you’ll be fine.
No
1 - Be comfortable in your own skin. Basically be yourself. If you're a little nerdy, be a little nerdy. Same if you're a gym bro, the class clown, the honor student, boy scout, etc. 2 - Listen. I mean learn how to truly listen. Not just the words being said, but how they're said and their context. And listening also means looking. Watching their body language as they're speaking. 3 - Be put together. That doesn't mean being dressed to the nines just to ask a girl out. But always try to look like you know to take care of yourself. Clean clothes, washed face, a little moisturizer, a little cologne (in the proper circumstances), and always use a neutral scented deodorant/antiperspirant. 4 - Be well read. I'm not saying you need to chew through the NY Times best-seller list this summer. Or know obscure details about classic literature. But make a habit of reading. You'll read interactions that may help your attempts at breaking the ice. 5 - Have a sense of humor. Life's too short to not laugh. Especially to not laugh at yourself. If you can crack a good joke, and handle being the butt of a joke, now and again; your chances of success go up considerably. 6 - Don't be pushy. Keep it casual. When you first approach to talk, act like it's not an imperative to talk to them. More that they seemed like a cool person to chat with for a few minutes before going on with your day. 7 - Last, but definitely not least...be graceful in rejection. Mainly because it's a sign of maturity. You'll likely, unless you look like a mid 90s Brad Pitt with the personality of Keanu Reeves, be turned down more often than not. Reacting poorly won't stay between you and her. She'll tell all of her friends, who'll then tell all of their friends while exaggerating how poorly you reacted. But also, a no now doesn't mean it'll always be a no. People change as they grow. Circumstances change. As long as you accept a rejection gracefully, and continue being cool with them afterwards, treating them well and being respectful; their outlook on a date with you may change in the future.
Literally you’re a creep if a girl does not find you attractive. If you are attractive to her, it literally does not matter what you say. It’s been this way since the beginning of time. Just do your thing and keep going until you find that girl that likes you. Be you…
Be a fuck boi that seems to be what most dumb woman want these days
Probably more inside your head than not. But if you are target-locked on or on ‘the hunt’, you might be giving off creep vibes. Try approaching everyone as potential friends. Genuinely. The attractions will reveal themselves. Please don’t watch videos on how to pick up on people. Definitely explore content on how to be more sociable. Here’s a great video specifically on getting out there, as you are looking for ways to meet people. https://youtu.be/m4gWMTDaxKk?si=MiHqqww4t3aQpkMt ‘Science of People’ and ‘Charisma on Command’ seem to really know what they are doing. I’m sure there’s more. Stay away from anything that seems to be about tricking or manipulating.
I play tennis and squash and thats a natural environment to talk and mingle on club nights and social night. Same with most club/hobbie groups. Make friends and then you have a circle of like minded people..
Context and situations matter. If it's a social situation, where striking up conversations with strangers and new people wouldn't be out of place (party, bar, concert, sporting event, networking event, beach, resort... you get the idea), then just approach and chat. The more practice you have making small talk with strangers, the better you get. It's it's a situation where people likely don't want to be bothered, leave them alone. This includes most gyms, grocery stores, people on the street going about their day, people doing their jobs. If you have a high degree of emotional intelligence and can read people well, there are times when chatting up a person in those situations can be appropriate, but as a general rule, these are the situations where less charismatic people will come off as creepy.
Just think you have nothing to loose relax and be yourself Simple but it works
Ah, you just have to go out with your friends, showing off the guys and girls in your pack shows that people trust you. If you have no friends, then just approach casually and be receptive to non-verbal cues, like if they're short with you and leave, maybe don't approach them again, etc. use your best judgement. But your innocent my friend, if you're thinking about how to not be a creep you'll end up seeming creepy. If people think you're a creep and you're not they're just brainwashed by fear.
Really just rest them how you would like to be treated (aside from the porongraphic fantasies). If it helps, pretend you work together so it’s like safe non offensive level talking. Follow the lead but don’t over step or push if a certain way (as groomers do and that’s creepy af) Be real and nice and respectful ALWAYS. These “girls” are someone’s daughter, sister, cousin, neice, aunt and maybe mother.
Don't even talk to pick up. Just talk to everyone, be cheerful and cheeky. The less you care the more they do
Just do it. Like Nike. Practice is the only way
*You're overthinking it. Just be yourself and respect personal space, no hovering or staring. Start with a simple "hi" and find common ground, like talking about gym routines. Smile and show interest in what she says. Confidence is key but keep it chill.*
Friend's friends is among the easiest way to meet people.
Be good looking and the rest will fall into place :)
Sadly mate the creepiness comes from looks. When I was younger I was skinny and my face hadn’t filled out also I never really cared about my appearance I would talk to girls and get laughed at pretty much but I’ve never actually struggled with getting on in a friendship situation with girls. I tried changing things I got newbie gains at the gym I changed my hair and have a beard I talk to girls now and it just feels easy almost I will be at a bar and I’ll notice some looks and I’ll go over I’ll say I noticed ‘something about them’ and had to come over after that I’ll say well I was in the queue so I think it’s only right if you come and wait with me I’ve got a good success rate these day
Just be you because every person is different and there're as many different ways that will work as there is that won't so just do you. Women are really simple creatures - I think men just interact too much with the shit tier versions of my gender tbh. Tell us we're pretty, feed us and don't make us question if you're really in it or not and if you wanna talk to multiple women at a time - just be single or communicate honestly with people open to a poly relationship. It's that easy.
Just keep trying, it takes time to get good at speaking to people. Don't give up no matter what.
Stop drooling, dead giveaway
There is zero correct answer to this
There is really no right answer for this , a girl will find one guy creapy and another hot for saying doing the same thing.
Yeah. Good luck with that. Was watching the Bachelorette and they wanted a man who was confident and vulnerable, contradictory traits
The only way not to be labelled a creep is to be insanely attractive.. If you are not just wear your creep badge with confidence
If they don't find you attractive, they'll probably consider you a creep. Just keep it casual. If they don't seem to be makingnany attempt to engage in the convo or showing no interest, just walk away and do something else