I think it really depends though. One thing is to have a healthy sex life. Another thing is to have an excessive need to have sex. Allow me to explain.
If you are someone that needs to get gang banged by 6-10 guys in one night on a regular basis or if you like being a cum dump all the time for me that’s a problem. Please note me saying all the time/regularly. Doing those things once in a great while is not as alarming (albeit a turn off). Mostly because to me that indicates there might be some serious mental health issues or sex addiction.
But if you got a high body count because you slept with 1 different guy every 1-2 weeks, I wouldn’t think much of it. If you like being a cum dump every week, that’s a problem.
So for me it’s less about the numbers rather how excessive, frequent and how much control you have over your sex life.
For me, it MIGHT make me look a potential partner in a different way. Whether that’s due to my insecurities or another reason is for me figure out.
However, I think a bigger red glad would be someone my age (22) having had 5+ boyfriends. That fact signals to me that they probably get into relationships just because, without taking the time to work on their issues.
There seem to be two types of people — people who spend a high percentage of time single, and those who jump from one relationship to another. Like OP, I can’t relate to the serial relationship people
I mean for me it is simple. If someone has a high body count, they clearly have different priorities in life from mine. So probably not a lot in common
Body count does matter to me because I myself have a low body count (3). I value a man who doesn’t jump into sexual relationships too quickly as that’s something I do myself. A high body count for me indicates he’s looking primarily for sex or that he hasn’t had any long term relationships. High body counts do matter to me and if I think it’s too high then I won’t be getting into a relationship with you. No disrespect, no judgement on your lifestyle, it’s just not what I’m looking for in a man.
There are a lot of young judgmental pricks on this sub, most of whom have very little or no experience and have learned everything from fairytales. I've had a small number of relationships, and I can't think of one where the subject ever came up in a serious way. It's much more about having fun with the fact that we've had pasts. In most gay circles I've been part of having a past is just expected. People who are scandalized by it really need to get over themselves.
Ok that first sentence seems a little charged. I think there’s a difference between 10-15 partners and 100+. And the phrase “having a past” seems to be used as a blanket excuse for people who have high body counts. I’ve only heard people who have high body counts use that term.
Using the phrase "body count" is the first problem and is extremely charged. But you're not saying over what timeframe. A week, a month, a year, a decade? 50 in a year is basically just going out and getting laid on Saturday night. Big deal. People who are horrified by that need to get over themselves. Lots of people with pasts are perfectly able to commit. In fact, I'd say it's even a prerequisite for a lot of us. "Sowing your wild oats" is a thing for a reason.
And "have a past" I'm nearly certain is a riff on St. Oscar Wilde.
I didn’t have a specific time frame in mind. And whether it’s a dude every Friday night, or a no loads refused cum dump. It all adds up in the end. Also 50 in a hear is pretty high. And I never said they couldn’t commit, just that they had a *harder time* committing.
Also, how is the phrase body count charged? I don’t understand.
"Body" implies "dead". Mass shootings have body counts. Getting laid does not.
And no, it doesn't work like that. They can have fun and then find a guy they click with. It's really not rocket science. "Saving yourself" has got to be one of the stupidest strategies going. And completely self-defeating. There is no prize for purity. There is a prize for stupidity called loneliness.
And adds up to *what*? Judgmentalism? A Scarlet A? What?
Lol. I never said for anyone to save themselves. Nor did I imply it either. So calm down for a moment. ‘Cause I never said anything about purity. Also, I wasn’t the one who invented the phrase “body count”. And we still use the term body count pretty regularly. So, I’m not gonna stop using it ‘cause we all know what it means.
And the literal numbers add up. Say someone bags a dude every weekend. That’s 50 or so dudes right? Do this for 2 years, and that’s 100 body’s. 100 people. That might not seem like a lot of you’re doing it every weekend. But once you stand back and literally just look at the number of people you’ve actually fucked……that’s *alot* of people.
Again why does it matter? Heaven forfend that somebody has slept with 100 guys. I stand back and go "that's fucking awesome". I would never trust somebody who is a prude because they'd probably be hysterical with their jealousy and I want no part of that. It's just a bad look altogether especially from the needy-clingy front. That is an actual Red Flag.
"Body count" invariably has a negative connotation like it's a bad thing just like mass shooting body counts. The ones who use it unironically are prudes and puritans who have the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy^(\*)
\[\*\] bonus points for knowing who said this.
But like what age are you talking about? I’m 28 and 50 really isn’t that absurd. Gay men typically start having sex at a younger age, that would only be 5 new partners a year. Not to mention that a lot of us go through some slutty stages once you start being comfortable with yourself.
Idk maybe all my friends and I are ho’s 🤷🏻♂️
Are you in your young 20s? Because then I can see a big difference between 10-15 partners and 100+. But if someone is 50 years old and has been out and sexually active for 35 years, it only takes 3 partners *a year* to hit 100. That hardly seems excessive.
I’m not sure if there’s a number but there’s a certain amount of sex that is for fun and a certain amount that indicates sex addiction. If a dude is being bred raw by a different guy every other day for years, they are not for me. They’re for the streets.
Body count to me personally counts I’m 32 and have had only 5 encounters and all them were long term situationships smh lol I know but yeah cuz it’s all about a bonding thing at least for me
Ok see, I thought it was just me for a moment. Because I do view sex as a bonding thing. And I’ve been in hook-ups before, so I’m not expecting anyone to be a virgin or anything like that. But I do think it’s very telling, how many people just brush under the rug a high body count.
Exactly cuz at that point what exactly can u bond , sex to me is very important but most times I’d rather jerk off than sleep with a stranger , again personally sex is spiritual and whenever you sleep with someone u almost take a part of u with them and vice versa so if they have bad karma they carrying around u absorb it
They really don’t like when you talk like that. I’ve made similar statements that sex is something like an energy exchange, and they did *not* like that. But I do think it’s something deeper than a lot of guys think it is.
Yup guys to me who dint like that , it’s because they know they not a genuine person and never want to face reality so they would rather sleep around because innocent guys can validate them and make them forget about the bad spirits they carry around but again that’s just me , I can’t sleep with anyone I guess that’s why I Been celibate almost 8 yrs
Wow. I’ve been kinda celibate since the end I February. Before that my last sexual interaction was in a foursome I didn’t enjoy in retrospect. Especially after making the realization that sex is something of an energy exchange.
But you make a very good point about the guys who know they aren’t genuine people. Care to elaborate on that?
Like okay sex is like u sharing a part of you with someone naked as u came into the world and all ur minor Ickes and imperfections are shown , once u do this there’s an exchange of energies so again if ur a genuine person and let’s say you have sex with someone who is going thru some karma u invite that karma on u , that’s why sometimes things could b going great then u meet someone get intimate and after things just don’t start going planned , that’s a karmic cycle and it creates so much stress.again this sounds crazy but I have seen it first hand that’s why you can meet someone and be intimate and all that who is genuine and even not together things seems to align in your life while u can meet another town bicycle who has collected so much karma then all of a sudden after being intimate your life just starts experiencing downfalls
Ok now that is interesting. And I do feel a little different after the sexual interactions I’ve had. Which I think is why I’ve taken a moment to step back and kinda get my own energy right. And I think that’s why I don’t wanna do hook-ups nearly as much. ‘Cause some people have horrible energy.
Exactly cuz it all comes to energy at the end of the day , plus nowadays I wouldn’t dare do hook ups cuz guys give it like it’s candy anyone and everyone plus I got this thing called feelings which apparently nobody wants so I stay celibate and just wait if it happens I meet someone that would b great if not I just adopt my kids and live
If he is willingly to commit and does not have any STD/STI then yes. What he does before me and not in our current relationship is one thing. I’m not uptight and a prude. (No shade)
Someone who's shagged that many people is not likely to suddenly become monogamous and I don't think its uptight, prudish or puerile to have that opinion.
My last partner was a complete whore and no surprise remained so in the relationship.
I agree and I’m open minded but depends on the person. If they’re willing to put in the work. Not everyone that hooked up with 100 people aren’t gonna cheat on you and just because they have a high body count doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of having a monogamous relationship.
Your ex-partner wasn’t unfit for the relationship because he had a history of promiscuity, it’s because he was immature and lacked self-awareness. If anything, someone with more sexual experience should have a better idea of what they want in an LTR and would be less likely to even attempt a monogamous relationship in the first place unless they were certain it was sustainable for them.
Consider the flip-side scenario where people with limited sexual experience try to settle down young and one or both partners later have the revelation 5, 10, 20 years later how dissatisfied they are in their marriages, that they “rushed” things, didn’t explore their options enough, etc. This happens with hetero couples a lot.
Hmm apparently this is controversial after reading these comments, but I don't think it really matters. Personally I've learned to love that as gay men we don't have to conform to the "norms" of society, I think it makes us, us. Maybe I'm not ready for a relationship or maybe you aren't, or maybe we're just not compatible in that sense, but we find each other attractive, and sex is something we all crave as humans. I obviously enjoy sex more when there's a connection and it's my preference, but sometimes I just want to get off in a way that isn't solo, I don't see why it has to be such a grand event.
there are gay men who think body count matters????
What insane gay incel bs is this?
If anything, in some cases, I'd prefer someone who has a high body count. That at least indicates they know what they are doing.
I’ve met too many broken dudes with high body counts for it to not have an effect. High standards? Guess so. It definitely matters. Lying about it just proves to me that person is not accepting of themselves.
Oh, but societal norms are oppressing me! You’re slut shaming. No sweetie, you’re using hookups as some sort of crutch and I’d rather not date a fixer-upper. Doesn’t make any one person “bad” or “good” we just obviously have different life experiences guiding us along and those to me aren’t compatible at all
Oooooooooo interesting. In what way would you say they’re broken?? And you bring up an interesting point about the slut shaming. ‘Cause it seems a lot of guys *do* have high body counts but don’t want to be slut shamed about it.
Nah, pathetic wanks in the corner are just efficient uses of time. Most of the time it takes too much energy to actually do the deed and all that's associated with it when all you really want is to do is get to the part where the blond twink is getting bred and then go about your day :)
I wish I could invite this a million times. So much was said here that people in this sun *do not* want to acknowledge. And IDKY. Like, why lie about something you said you don’t care about. A dude on here said he has a high body count and would lie to a guy like me if we were to ever date, but the sentence before that he said it doesn’t matter to him. So if you don’t care why lie?? But thank you for writing this.
On one hand, your partner's body count is none of your business and they're allowed to have as much sex as they want. But on the other hand, your decision to not want to pursue a relationship with someone who's had a very high body count is also justified.
It's one thing to be sex positive. It's another thing to display signs of commitment. It's possible to have had sex with 1000+ people and still be in a committed relationship, but don't feel offended if someone doesn't want to be in one with you because they interpret that as a inability to love or to make your partner feel safe in the relationship.
The obvious answer is that people often feel pressured to lie about things they expect to be judged for. Many gay men stay semi-closeted with certain family members or at the workplace for the same reason, even if they don’t view themselves negatively.
That said, this question is predicated on anecdotal occurrences as if lying about it is a common phenomenon amongst people with high partner counts. Speaking for myself and many others I know who are well into the triple digits, if we even care enough to ask each other, none of us lie about it to anyone other than maybe our parents or religious family members. I wouldn’t even be interested in dating anyone who sees it negatively. Some of us prefer meaningless one night stands, some of us prefer meaningless 3 year relationships. To each their own.
High body count is a red flag for me. Doesn’t matter if the person i want to date is a female or a male (im bi). Ain’t nobody with self respect is dating a thot who’s been passed around. Experiencing is good and completely normal. But having a „hoe-phase“ and getting run through would be too much. Might offend some of y’all, but that’s just my view of that.
It's a major red-flag to most guys I'd say, and that's mainly because they are insecure about themselves. And that motivates high body-count guys (especially the younger ones) to lie about it to their partners.
Guys tend to believe that if someone has a three digit partner count it means that they have "commitment" issue, and some guys also get intimidated by it. The latter, think that the high body-count guy is either an insatiable sex-addict that they won't be able to deal with, or that they won't be able to satisfy them as they lack the same level of experience. I had to deal with this shit myself, and that's why I only date older and more experienced than me.
Well there is scientific evidence (from both men and women) that states someone who has had more partners does have a harder time staying in a committed monogamous relationship. So, maybe they are into something about the “commitment” issues.
Speaking of not being able to satisfy, isn’t that apparently the case with u and ur man? I mean ur here on these streets crying about ur man wanting to bring a female in y’all’s relationship…. I mean u seem to not satisfy him, thats why he wants that female too….I dont expect a person in a poly relationship to understand commitment and monogamy, y’all ain’t build like that mentally. I, as a monogamous guy, am not insecure about body count, i just dont just date pass arounds. Simple as that bro….
My boyfriend and I are just not dumb enough to limit ourselves to a single partner. My issue with the bitch settling in, is that it seems he likes her a bit more than the previous bitches he brought home. I'm not yet in a poly relationship, not yet.
Being committed to one person is not „dumb“. But like i said i dont expect y’all to get it. Oh believe bro, ur already in a poly relationship.U made ur bed with being open, now lay in it… with her lol. The broad seems to settle in with y’all and he wants her too. That happens when two bi dudes bring a female into it. I mean u wrote that u enjoy the sex with her and ur man. He catched feelings for her and she’s taking full advantage of it by living with y’all. The moment he knocks her up, ur behind is sent „flying“ out of the relationship mr twink.
Like others have said, I don’t see an issue with the high body count. Mine is pretty gnarly but I’d be ok finding my man and just having sex with him for the rest of my life.
The lie isn’t ok but I guess context matters. Like when you just start dating someone and you’re ready to settle down you might not want to scare them off by telling them you’re 50+. Idk, kind of a tricky situation to handle.
Ok so, if you don’t see an issue with it, then why not tell them? If you don’t think it’s a big deal, why care if it scares them off? You get what I’m saying?
Because you don’t know how the other person sees it. Especially if they don’t know the real you yet.
You’re kind of the perfect example. If I dated you and liked you I would be scared to share because you might have this reaction.
I don’t get why anyone cares, we all had pasts and as long as they don’t cheat I don’t see how it’s anyone’s business what my number is. But clearly some people feel differently.
The thing is though, there is a bit of putting your money where your mouth is. If you really didn’t care, then why lie to me about it. If I don’t see an issue with an aspect of myself, then I won’t lie about it to someone else. But if I do see an issue with myself, I’d lie about it to someone.
My ex’s was 79. Probably higher now. He kept a list…. With 1-5 star ratings…….. and detailed descriptions for why they got the amount of stars they did. He’s 22 btw.
If you’re raking up bodies to the point where your relationships start to just become a numbers game, then I start to think you’re just a superficial person. When you have many partners, you tend to be less than honest and hide who you are. Sex is an amazing experience, but it seems like it went from the extreme of being shameful and dirty to now many do not put any value in it besides just getting physical pleasure and using one another.
Back on the day, women who put out to a lot of guys were considered used up.
Example of what I have heard. You don't want to take her home to mom she is used up.
Guys usually are not interested in a relationship with a woman who has been with a lot of guys.
I know I wouldn't want a guy that has been all used up by a lot of other guys.
Yes, because someone who gets fucked once by 200 different guys in a year is “used up,” whereas someone who gets fucked by one guy 200 times in a year has only been “used with love.” 😂
But like what makes a body all “used up”? I’m genuinely curious. ‘Cause I’ve heard people my own age say this. Lol. So I’m curious as to what a used up guy looks like.
I lie about my body count coz people already think I’m a slut so I try to prove them wrong by lying. I’ll be like maybe 30, but in reality it’s upward of 200.
It’s part of my aesthetic 💖
Buuuuuut when I have been open about my body count when someone asks, they make me feel like a piece of trash. I don’t like feeling like that. I don’t sleep around like I used to.
Wow there's so much pride, insipid validation, vanity and ego boost associated with fucking random bodies to feel alive in the name.o token sexual freedom now. It's really just the crown of hookup culture . Like any culture excess is bad and too much of anything is bad and it just becomes a vapid addiction
If you don't conform to it you're some.old fashioned conservative prude who believes in "fairytales" of monogamy from Disney and Christian values. Ew what kind of dumb mindset is that
I have a high body count, it only came after my break up. Before I thought I found the love of my life but they cheated on me and as a coping mechanism I hoe myself out. Do I regret it? Yes 100% but I grew from it. If you want to judge me for it fine but I know I’m 100% willing to commit to the person I fall in love with. I’ve only been In one relationship and I’m scared as hell to be that vulnerable again. If you want to live in the past go for it, but everyone makes mistakes and I personally don’t think body count matters. If this is a deal breaker for you then I wouldn’t want to date you either as there’s clearly a lack of humane in you.
So let me get this straight, you say the other person lacks an element of “humanity” because they don’t want someone who has whored themselves out??? They’re supposed to feel bad about themselves for something you yourself did?
Feel bad? Why would I want you to feel bad? If you feel bad that’s on you. Personally I could care less about body count. Only number that should matter is income and if you make less than me your value is less than mine and vice versa. Relationships are what you bring to the table, not what you drag around with you.
I was saying hypothetically: Person A sleeps with 150+ people. Person B doesn’t like that. So Person A says “You lack humanity because you don’t want to date me for the fancy that I’ve been with 150+ dudes”. That doesn’t make sense to me. It seems like you’re throwing whatever blame/judgement you feel about your sexual history back on them.
Also, you might wanna dial back on that income one. ‘Cause the minute you meet a dude who makes more than you, you won’t like being in the other end of that dynamic.
Body count matters because its an indication of how the person views sex and a gauge for fidelity in a LTR.
If they HAVE to have sex every week, what happens if some health issue comes up and i cant perform for a month or 2(surgery, car accident, etc).
Also, the higher the number of partners you have before marriage, the higher the chance of cheating during marriage. Something on the lines of like 100 bodies = 50% chance you will cheat in a marriage. 200 bodies =70% chance.
So id rather stick with someone who has less than 20, or even better, less than 10.
I think it’s just a preference, like how some guys would like to date a more masculine man oppose to a feminine one. I think “you guys” (those that claim to not care about body count) care more of why we care about body count. I don’t know why it’s looked down upon for having body count as bullet point in your criteria when choosing a partner. Everyone’s rebuttal to someone giving “body count” significance is that they’re insecure or immature when in truth it’s just predilection. For example, I care about body count and I’m secure of who I am. What’s next? Nothing, it’s just once again a preference.
“Body count” is something you gossip about when your in college/University with your friends. As an adult (I’m 28) I’ve never ever seriously been asked how many men I’ve slept with in my past. I probably don’t know the answer to it anyways “shrugs”. If it matters to you then we probably aren’t compatible.
I mean ideally it shouldn’t matter. But if you’re having a lot of sex with a lot of partners are you also developing relationship skills that can take care of a long term partner. I think that’s the worry. I also think about the disparity between partners can be difficult. It can really prompt envy but also natural curiosity in people to want to explore.
I think it really depends though. One thing is to have a healthy sex life. Another thing is to have an excessive need to have sex. Allow me to explain. If you are someone that needs to get gang banged by 6-10 guys in one night on a regular basis or if you like being a cum dump all the time for me that’s a problem. Please note me saying all the time/regularly. Doing those things once in a great while is not as alarming (albeit a turn off). Mostly because to me that indicates there might be some serious mental health issues or sex addiction. But if you got a high body count because you slept with 1 different guy every 1-2 weeks, I wouldn’t think much of it. If you like being a cum dump every week, that’s a problem. So for me it’s less about the numbers rather how excessive, frequent and how much control you have over your sex life.
For me, it MIGHT make me look a potential partner in a different way. Whether that’s due to my insecurities or another reason is for me figure out. However, I think a bigger red glad would be someone my age (22) having had 5+ boyfriends. That fact signals to me that they probably get into relationships just because, without taking the time to work on their issues.
And what different way would you look at them? Like……how would your view change??
There seem to be two types of people — people who spend a high percentage of time single, and those who jump from one relationship to another. Like OP, I can’t relate to the serial relationship people
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That’s the thing. Hoes don’t wanna date other hoes. For some reason they want the non-hoes to try and settle down with.
I mean for me it is simple. If someone has a high body count, they clearly have different priorities in life from mine. So probably not a lot in common
Body count does matter to me because I myself have a low body count (3). I value a man who doesn’t jump into sexual relationships too quickly as that’s something I do myself. A high body count for me indicates he’s looking primarily for sex or that he hasn’t had any long term relationships. High body counts do matter to me and if I think it’s too high then I won’t be getting into a relationship with you. No disrespect, no judgement on your lifestyle, it’s just not what I’m looking for in a man.
There are a lot of young judgmental pricks on this sub, most of whom have very little or no experience and have learned everything from fairytales. I've had a small number of relationships, and I can't think of one where the subject ever came up in a serious way. It's much more about having fun with the fact that we've had pasts. In most gay circles I've been part of having a past is just expected. People who are scandalized by it really need to get over themselves.
Agreed. Don’t understand all the prudishness here. So much for free love…
What's especially hilarious is this princesses's Reddit username.
Lol missed that.
Ok that first sentence seems a little charged. I think there’s a difference between 10-15 partners and 100+. And the phrase “having a past” seems to be used as a blanket excuse for people who have high body counts. I’ve only heard people who have high body counts use that term.
Using the phrase "body count" is the first problem and is extremely charged. But you're not saying over what timeframe. A week, a month, a year, a decade? 50 in a year is basically just going out and getting laid on Saturday night. Big deal. People who are horrified by that need to get over themselves. Lots of people with pasts are perfectly able to commit. In fact, I'd say it's even a prerequisite for a lot of us. "Sowing your wild oats" is a thing for a reason. And "have a past" I'm nearly certain is a riff on St. Oscar Wilde.
I didn’t have a specific time frame in mind. And whether it’s a dude every Friday night, or a no loads refused cum dump. It all adds up in the end. Also 50 in a hear is pretty high. And I never said they couldn’t commit, just that they had a *harder time* committing. Also, how is the phrase body count charged? I don’t understand.
"Body" implies "dead". Mass shootings have body counts. Getting laid does not. And no, it doesn't work like that. They can have fun and then find a guy they click with. It's really not rocket science. "Saving yourself" has got to be one of the stupidest strategies going. And completely self-defeating. There is no prize for purity. There is a prize for stupidity called loneliness. And adds up to *what*? Judgmentalism? A Scarlet A? What?
Lol. I never said for anyone to save themselves. Nor did I imply it either. So calm down for a moment. ‘Cause I never said anything about purity. Also, I wasn’t the one who invented the phrase “body count”. And we still use the term body count pretty regularly. So, I’m not gonna stop using it ‘cause we all know what it means. And the literal numbers add up. Say someone bags a dude every weekend. That’s 50 or so dudes right? Do this for 2 years, and that’s 100 body’s. 100 people. That might not seem like a lot of you’re doing it every weekend. But once you stand back and literally just look at the number of people you’ve actually fucked……that’s *alot* of people.
Again why does it matter? Heaven forfend that somebody has slept with 100 guys. I stand back and go "that's fucking awesome". I would never trust somebody who is a prude because they'd probably be hysterical with their jealousy and I want no part of that. It's just a bad look altogether especially from the needy-clingy front. That is an actual Red Flag. "Body count" invariably has a negative connotation like it's a bad thing just like mass shooting body counts. The ones who use it unironically are prudes and puritans who have the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy^(\*) \[\*\] bonus points for knowing who said this.
But like what age are you talking about? I’m 28 and 50 really isn’t that absurd. Gay men typically start having sex at a younger age, that would only be 5 new partners a year. Not to mention that a lot of us go through some slutty stages once you start being comfortable with yourself. Idk maybe all my friends and I are ho’s 🤷🏻♂️
Are you in your young 20s? Because then I can see a big difference between 10-15 partners and 100+. But if someone is 50 years old and has been out and sexually active for 35 years, it only takes 3 partners *a year* to hit 100. That hardly seems excessive.
Yeah I’m 24. Not young at all, but I’m not middle aged either.
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Found one!
I’m not sure if there’s a number but there’s a certain amount of sex that is for fun and a certain amount that indicates sex addiction. If a dude is being bred raw by a different guy every other day for years, they are not for me. They’re for the streets.
You know they don’t like when people talk like that. 🤣🤣🤣
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was on your side until you said "they are for the streets". You can like who you like, but why put others down like that??
Body count to me personally counts I’m 32 and have had only 5 encounters and all them were long term situationships smh lol I know but yeah cuz it’s all about a bonding thing at least for me
Ok see, I thought it was just me for a moment. Because I do view sex as a bonding thing. And I’ve been in hook-ups before, so I’m not expecting anyone to be a virgin or anything like that. But I do think it’s very telling, how many people just brush under the rug a high body count.
Exactly cuz at that point what exactly can u bond , sex to me is very important but most times I’d rather jerk off than sleep with a stranger , again personally sex is spiritual and whenever you sleep with someone u almost take a part of u with them and vice versa so if they have bad karma they carrying around u absorb it
They really don’t like when you talk like that. I’ve made similar statements that sex is something like an energy exchange, and they did *not* like that. But I do think it’s something deeper than a lot of guys think it is.
Yup guys to me who dint like that , it’s because they know they not a genuine person and never want to face reality so they would rather sleep around because innocent guys can validate them and make them forget about the bad spirits they carry around but again that’s just me , I can’t sleep with anyone I guess that’s why I Been celibate almost 8 yrs
Wow. I’ve been kinda celibate since the end I February. Before that my last sexual interaction was in a foursome I didn’t enjoy in retrospect. Especially after making the realization that sex is something of an energy exchange. But you make a very good point about the guys who know they aren’t genuine people. Care to elaborate on that?
Like okay sex is like u sharing a part of you with someone naked as u came into the world and all ur minor Ickes and imperfections are shown , once u do this there’s an exchange of energies so again if ur a genuine person and let’s say you have sex with someone who is going thru some karma u invite that karma on u , that’s why sometimes things could b going great then u meet someone get intimate and after things just don’t start going planned , that’s a karmic cycle and it creates so much stress.again this sounds crazy but I have seen it first hand that’s why you can meet someone and be intimate and all that who is genuine and even not together things seems to align in your life while u can meet another town bicycle who has collected so much karma then all of a sudden after being intimate your life just starts experiencing downfalls
Ok now that is interesting. And I do feel a little different after the sexual interactions I’ve had. Which I think is why I’ve taken a moment to step back and kinda get my own energy right. And I think that’s why I don’t wanna do hook-ups nearly as much. ‘Cause some people have horrible energy.
Exactly cuz it all comes to energy at the end of the day , plus nowadays I wouldn’t dare do hook ups cuz guys give it like it’s candy anyone and everyone plus I got this thing called feelings which apparently nobody wants so I stay celibate and just wait if it happens I meet someone that would b great if not I just adopt my kids and live
To me body count does not matter at all. We all hook up and we’re all adults. But adults who get up tight about are childish and not worth the time.
So, would you be with a guy who had a 100+ body count? Like, in a monogamous relationship?
If he is willingly to commit and does not have any STD/STI then yes. What he does before me and not in our current relationship is one thing. I’m not uptight and a prude. (No shade)
Someone who's shagged that many people is not likely to suddenly become monogamous and I don't think its uptight, prudish or puerile to have that opinion. My last partner was a complete whore and no surprise remained so in the relationship.
I agree and I’m open minded but depends on the person. If they’re willing to put in the work. Not everyone that hooked up with 100 people aren’t gonna cheat on you and just because they have a high body count doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of having a monogamous relationship.
Your ex-partner wasn’t unfit for the relationship because he had a history of promiscuity, it’s because he was immature and lacked self-awareness. If anything, someone with more sexual experience should have a better idea of what they want in an LTR and would be less likely to even attempt a monogamous relationship in the first place unless they were certain it was sustainable for them. Consider the flip-side scenario where people with limited sexual experience try to settle down young and one or both partners later have the revelation 5, 10, 20 years later how dissatisfied they are in their marriages, that they “rushed” things, didn’t explore their options enough, etc. This happens with hetero couples a lot.
Hmm apparently this is controversial after reading these comments, but I don't think it really matters. Personally I've learned to love that as gay men we don't have to conform to the "norms" of society, I think it makes us, us. Maybe I'm not ready for a relationship or maybe you aren't, or maybe we're just not compatible in that sense, but we find each other attractive, and sex is something we all crave as humans. I obviously enjoy sex more when there's a connection and it's my preference, but sometimes I just want to get off in a way that isn't solo, I don't see why it has to be such a grand event.
there are gay men who think body count matters???? What insane gay incel bs is this? If anything, in some cases, I'd prefer someone who has a high body count. That at least indicates they know what they are doing.
Actually, I’ve been with a few people who have high body counts, and………..they *did not* know what they were doing. 😳
I mean, same.
Funniest thing is that they brag about it but they don't even know how to do foreplay 🥴
Yeah all these comments are wild! I’ve never met an irl gay who cares at all lol
to my knowledge I have never met someone who cared either.
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yes, and some gays are trash. Like you.
If we’re fucking, Past lovers are of no consequence
Wait, you guys keep count ?
It is wild to me that so many people keep track of something so stupid.
I used to, once it hit double digits I gave up
I’ve met too many broken dudes with high body counts for it to not have an effect. High standards? Guess so. It definitely matters. Lying about it just proves to me that person is not accepting of themselves. Oh, but societal norms are oppressing me! You’re slut shaming. No sweetie, you’re using hookups as some sort of crutch and I’d rather not date a fixer-upper. Doesn’t make any one person “bad” or “good” we just obviously have different life experiences guiding us along and those to me aren’t compatible at all
Oooooooooo interesting. In what way would you say they’re broken?? And you bring up an interesting point about the slut shaming. ‘Cause it seems a lot of guys *do* have high body counts but don’t want to be slut shamed about it.
Nah they aren't "broken", most are just not so fond of a pathetic wank in the corner of their room but I guess, to each their own.
Nah, pathetic wanks in the corner are just efficient uses of time. Most of the time it takes too much energy to actually do the deed and all that's associated with it when all you really want is to do is get to the part where the blond twink is getting bred and then go about your day :)
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I wish I could invite this a million times. So much was said here that people in this sun *do not* want to acknowledge. And IDKY. Like, why lie about something you said you don’t care about. A dude on here said he has a high body count and would lie to a guy like me if we were to ever date, but the sentence before that he said it doesn’t matter to him. So if you don’t care why lie?? But thank you for writing this.
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On one hand, your partner's body count is none of your business and they're allowed to have as much sex as they want. But on the other hand, your decision to not want to pursue a relationship with someone who's had a very high body count is also justified. It's one thing to be sex positive. It's another thing to display signs of commitment. It's possible to have had sex with 1000+ people and still be in a committed relationship, but don't feel offended if someone doesn't want to be in one with you because they interpret that as a inability to love or to make your partner feel safe in the relationship.
The obvious answer is that people often feel pressured to lie about things they expect to be judged for. Many gay men stay semi-closeted with certain family members or at the workplace for the same reason, even if they don’t view themselves negatively. That said, this question is predicated on anecdotal occurrences as if lying about it is a common phenomenon amongst people with high partner counts. Speaking for myself and many others I know who are well into the triple digits, if we even care enough to ask each other, none of us lie about it to anyone other than maybe our parents or religious family members. I wouldn’t even be interested in dating anyone who sees it negatively. Some of us prefer meaningless one night stands, some of us prefer meaningless 3 year relationships. To each their own.
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They’re not. 😉 one is a significantly larger waste of time and energy. 😉😉 that’s the joke. 😉😉😉
High body count is a red flag for me. Doesn’t matter if the person i want to date is a female or a male (im bi). Ain’t nobody with self respect is dating a thot who’s been passed around. Experiencing is good and completely normal. But having a „hoe-phase“ and getting run through would be too much. Might offend some of y’all, but that’s just my view of that.
It's a major red-flag to most guys I'd say, and that's mainly because they are insecure about themselves. And that motivates high body-count guys (especially the younger ones) to lie about it to their partners.
But what do you think would make a guy insecure about it? I’m curious.
Guys tend to believe that if someone has a three digit partner count it means that they have "commitment" issue, and some guys also get intimidated by it. The latter, think that the high body-count guy is either an insatiable sex-addict that they won't be able to deal with, or that they won't be able to satisfy them as they lack the same level of experience. I had to deal with this shit myself, and that's why I only date older and more experienced than me.
Well there is scientific evidence (from both men and women) that states someone who has had more partners does have a harder time staying in a committed monogamous relationship. So, maybe they are into something about the “commitment” issues.
Lol please provide references to this scientific evidence, I am very interested
Yeah, I doubt that will be forthcoming. And of course correlation != causation.
Shhh, you’ll give away the surprise, ppl who got C’s in stats 101 don’t know that yet
Speaking of not being able to satisfy, isn’t that apparently the case with u and ur man? I mean ur here on these streets crying about ur man wanting to bring a female in y’all’s relationship…. I mean u seem to not satisfy him, thats why he wants that female too….I dont expect a person in a poly relationship to understand commitment and monogamy, y’all ain’t build like that mentally. I, as a monogamous guy, am not insecure about body count, i just dont just date pass arounds. Simple as that bro….
My boyfriend and I are just not dumb enough to limit ourselves to a single partner. My issue with the bitch settling in, is that it seems he likes her a bit more than the previous bitches he brought home. I'm not yet in a poly relationship, not yet.
Being committed to one person is not „dumb“. But like i said i dont expect y’all to get it. Oh believe bro, ur already in a poly relationship.U made ur bed with being open, now lay in it… with her lol. The broad seems to settle in with y’all and he wants her too. That happens when two bi dudes bring a female into it. I mean u wrote that u enjoy the sex with her and ur man. He catched feelings for her and she’s taking full advantage of it by living with y’all. The moment he knocks her up, ur behind is sent „flying“ out of the relationship mr twink.
For the love of GOD - don't call it body count!
I agree, my body count is in the hundreds. I just hope the police aren’t After me.
Why not? What should I call it??
Because it sounds like a person is a serial killer. The first time i saw someone talking about body count I was genuinely confused !
Like a sane adult person would - "number of sexual partners"
Why does *body count* get you so antsy and uppity hm?
Because it sounds childish and shallow and is a very cringe thing to say.
Lol. You sound childish here.
Like others have said, I don’t see an issue with the high body count. Mine is pretty gnarly but I’d be ok finding my man and just having sex with him for the rest of my life. The lie isn’t ok but I guess context matters. Like when you just start dating someone and you’re ready to settle down you might not want to scare them off by telling them you’re 50+. Idk, kind of a tricky situation to handle.
Ok so, if you don’t see an issue with it, then why not tell them? If you don’t think it’s a big deal, why care if it scares them off? You get what I’m saying?
Because you don’t know how the other person sees it. Especially if they don’t know the real you yet. You’re kind of the perfect example. If I dated you and liked you I would be scared to share because you might have this reaction. I don’t get why anyone cares, we all had pasts and as long as they don’t cheat I don’t see how it’s anyone’s business what my number is. But clearly some people feel differently.
The thing is though, there is a bit of putting your money where your mouth is. If you really didn’t care, then why lie to me about it. If I don’t see an issue with an aspect of myself, then I won’t lie about it to someone else. But if I do see an issue with myself, I’d lie about it to someone.
My ex’s was 79. Probably higher now. He kept a list…. With 1-5 star ratings…….. and detailed descriptions for why they got the amount of stars they did. He’s 22 btw.
That sounds like a mental health problem. 😳
If you’re raking up bodies to the point where your relationships start to just become a numbers game, then I start to think you’re just a superficial person. When you have many partners, you tend to be less than honest and hide who you are. Sex is an amazing experience, but it seems like it went from the extreme of being shameful and dirty to now many do not put any value in it besides just getting physical pleasure and using one another.
It matters to some of us. I don't want someone that's been all used up.
Now I’ve heard the phrase “used up” before. But what does that mean exactly???
Back on the day, women who put out to a lot of guys were considered used up. Example of what I have heard. You don't want to take her home to mom she is used up. Guys usually are not interested in a relationship with a woman who has been with a lot of guys. I know I wouldn't want a guy that has been all used up by a lot of other guys.
Yes, because someone who gets fucked once by 200 different guys in a year is “used up,” whereas someone who gets fucked by one guy 200 times in a year has only been “used with love.” 😂
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And the guy getting fucked should care why?
But like what makes a body all “used up”? I’m genuinely curious. ‘Cause I’ve heard people my own age say this. Lol. So I’m curious as to what a used up guy looks like.
I lie about my body count coz people already think I’m a slut so I try to prove them wrong by lying. I’ll be like maybe 30, but in reality it’s upward of 200.
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It’s part of my aesthetic 💖 Buuuuuut when I have been open about my body count when someone asks, they make me feel like a piece of trash. I don’t like feeling like that. I don’t sleep around like I used to.
Holy shit that’s a lot of people.
Mine is much more than that and I’m 21
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Who says I have issues finding commitment? The lying works.
Wow there's so much pride, insipid validation, vanity and ego boost associated with fucking random bodies to feel alive in the name.o token sexual freedom now. It's really just the crown of hookup culture . Like any culture excess is bad and too much of anything is bad and it just becomes a vapid addiction If you don't conform to it you're some.old fashioned conservative prude who believes in "fairytales" of monogamy from Disney and Christian values. Ew what kind of dumb mindset is that
I have a high body count, it only came after my break up. Before I thought I found the love of my life but they cheated on me and as a coping mechanism I hoe myself out. Do I regret it? Yes 100% but I grew from it. If you want to judge me for it fine but I know I’m 100% willing to commit to the person I fall in love with. I’ve only been In one relationship and I’m scared as hell to be that vulnerable again. If you want to live in the past go for it, but everyone makes mistakes and I personally don’t think body count matters. If this is a deal breaker for you then I wouldn’t want to date you either as there’s clearly a lack of humane in you.
So let me get this straight, you say the other person lacks an element of “humanity” because they don’t want someone who has whored themselves out??? They’re supposed to feel bad about themselves for something you yourself did?
Feel bad? Why would I want you to feel bad? If you feel bad that’s on you. Personally I could care less about body count. Only number that should matter is income and if you make less than me your value is less than mine and vice versa. Relationships are what you bring to the table, not what you drag around with you.
I was saying hypothetically: Person A sleeps with 150+ people. Person B doesn’t like that. So Person A says “You lack humanity because you don’t want to date me for the fancy that I’ve been with 150+ dudes”. That doesn’t make sense to me. It seems like you’re throwing whatever blame/judgement you feel about your sexual history back on them. Also, you might wanna dial back on that income one. ‘Cause the minute you meet a dude who makes more than you, you won’t like being in the other end of that dynamic.
Exactly! So you agree? It shouldn’t matter
Body count matters because its an indication of how the person views sex and a gauge for fidelity in a LTR. If they HAVE to have sex every week, what happens if some health issue comes up and i cant perform for a month or 2(surgery, car accident, etc). Also, the higher the number of partners you have before marriage, the higher the chance of cheating during marriage. Something on the lines of like 100 bodies = 50% chance you will cheat in a marriage. 200 bodies =70% chance. So id rather stick with someone who has less than 20, or even better, less than 10.
What is body count?
I think it’s just a preference, like how some guys would like to date a more masculine man oppose to a feminine one. I think “you guys” (those that claim to not care about body count) care more of why we care about body count. I don’t know why it’s looked down upon for having body count as bullet point in your criteria when choosing a partner. Everyone’s rebuttal to someone giving “body count” significance is that they’re insecure or immature when in truth it’s just predilection. For example, I care about body count and I’m secure of who I am. What’s next? Nothing, it’s just once again a preference.
“Body count” is something you gossip about when your in college/University with your friends. As an adult (I’m 28) I’ve never ever seriously been asked how many men I’ve slept with in my past. I probably don’t know the answer to it anyways “shrugs”. If it matters to you then we probably aren’t compatible.
I like the high body count, give me the omega sluts with their infinite wisdom.
I mean ideally it shouldn’t matter. But if you’re having a lot of sex with a lot of partners are you also developing relationship skills that can take care of a long term partner. I think that’s the worry. I also think about the disparity between partners can be difficult. It can really prompt envy but also natural curiosity in people to want to explore.
What if your body count is 0? Is that more or less of a red flag than someone promiscuous?