I would say they're lying about not being able to get hard with a condom on, but I do have trouble getting hard with one on. If you don't want to do bareback, just block them. They shouldn't be cursing you out and you can't let strangers on the internet get to you.
I mean I hate condoms and hate using them however if the other person wants a condom, a condom is used. Period.
If someone says they can’t/wont use them they aren’t worth your time. Now that being said, if they do have a hard time maintaining an erection (it does happen) just be prepared to either be unsatisfied/sexually frustrated or play together other than penetrative sex.
I used to do sex education in the days before PreP. It's the same bullshit spread by selfish people. Condoms work for anyone with a dick. You can fit your entire arm in a standard condom. There are condoms for XL if your ego says you need one. And there are condoms for people allergic to latex and spermicide. Finally, oral sex is significantly lower risk for HIV and STI compared to anal or vaginal sex.
You need to ignore these guys. If they get aggressive with you, just remind them that other STIs are on the rise outside of HIV.
>You can fit your entire arm in a standard condom
Ehh I wish people would stop spreading this talking point because it’s really misleading/missing the point. Yes, condoms can stretch insane amounts, but that doesn’t mean they’re comfortable on someone who has a massive dick.
I’m not speaking about myself cos I’m pretty average lmao but I’ve been with a few guys who are 8in+ and getting a regular condom on them was a nightmare. Normal condoms fit me perfectly so I don’t see why we should be mocking well endowed people for wanting to use an XL so that they can get that same experience?
I see posts like this quite often, where is this place where people get all rude and start cursing each other out because because they didn't want to hookup? The second I tell a guy it's not gonna work they either ghost or block or I block if they're at all pushy.
Block and move on. You don’t want anal warts or herpes for the rest of your life for some random dirty Grindr hookup who won’t remember you in 24 hours.
>scientifically 1 million times more likely to have some strange diseases
Nah, semantics matter because being alarmist and wrong about risk isnt helpful. Youre more likely to catch something thats very likely easily treatable. You should be ok with the chance you could catch something though, correct.
Those diseases can and often do infect the skin in areas not covered by a condom, like the base of ur dick and genital area in general. Condoms are helpful in lowering the risk, but the risk is still very present.
For hsv, any human whos ever been sexually active has a decent chance of already having it. Also, you can protect urself against most strains of hpv through a vaccine. Bullying strangers into doing things they dont want to do is wrong, but gono and chlamydia would be better examples here.
You were being alarmist at first "1 million times...", now youre getting a bit more grounded
>they consistently say they have difficulties in maintaining an erection when using a condom
It's a genuine issue that affects me too. However, I don't resort to using derogatory terms if they insist on using a condom. The mere mention of a condom makes me lose interest anyway and I can't be bothered cursing out people over that.
lol people lie, that's not news, i don't like condoms, and a lot of other guys also don't. just don't hook up with them if you prefer condoms. theres no reason to read their insults and take it personally lol i just laugh bc it's such small dick energy to start cursing when they hear no. most of them are very insecure
For a period, before hookup apps, condoms were worse, people wore them, and staying hard was not a common obstacle. Tell them you aren't interest if they can't get aroused enough to wear a condom. Or, suggest viagra for their performance issues. It's not a big ask if you are going to let a stranger put his dick in you. You probably should move on if they won't at least entertain a mature dialog about safety. Otherwise, if there are no other candidates then vaccinations, PreP, and Doxy-PEP seem the prudent route if you are hooking up with these type.
Yup. Anonymous sex is certainly not new, but before you could have sex at the tap of a few buttons this was just common after HIV/AIDS. People seem to think PrEP they're invincible to every STD in the book.
They ain’t wrong. It doesn’t matter if it’s oral or anal unprotected sex is unprotected sex. And if they have problems with their erections they should seek a doctor 🧑⚕️
Well, some of them may not lie. It really is an issue. Also it's sometimes like licking an ice cream over the glass. But of course safety is safety. It's harder to maintain erection, but possible. Calling you "names"... labelling... that's over the red line. Sex without a condom shall be agreed consciously from both sides. If they don't like condom, it's their problem not yours.
>when I decline, they resort to cursing me out and labeling me as uptight or other derogatory terms.
I have never had this issue. If you're getting that kind of reaction so consistently, perhaps you should reflect on the way you communicate your refusal.
> Same with kissing. Not getting herpes for the rest of my life over a Grindr hookup.
The overwhelming majority of adults on this planet carry oral herpes virus (HSV1) - many have it asymptomatic their whole life. The chances are you already have it.
What’s less sexy than condoms? Trying to have sex while all my friends who’ve died from aids keep going thru my mind. If they can’t give you what you need to feel safe…they have no business getting what they want from you.
Judging how I'm getting upvoted and you're not I'd say not people here agree with me more than you.
Why do you care if I don't like condoms? Get over yourself.
The only thing they want is to have complete access and control over your body and do whatever they want. It's a form of manipulation.
I require condoms or I don't hookup. That simple. They're trying to degrade your morals and your boundaries. You don't want to have sex with someone who can't respect those because what else will they not respect?
Whether you are on prep or not, you should always wear a condom when hooking up with strangers. Whoever says "wearing a condom is a turn-off" has their mind warped by porn. If you can't get hard and wear a condom there's something seriously wrong with you mentally no matter your silly excuses. if you simply just "don't like the feel" then fucking suck it up and respect the other person's wishes and if you say its too tight on your cock then grow the fuck up, condoms come in all shapes, sizes, thicknesses, materials and stretch to unbelievable sizes so there's no reason to find the right ones other than you're just plain lazy.
It's so unbelievable how so many people who have random hookups never use a condom. Don't you care about your sexual health or that of others? It's just stupid and selfish and I hope you never get a sexually transmitted infection because some stick with you for life but then again if you're willing to lie about condoms not fitting or turning you off then I'm willing to bet you would just as easily lie about an S.T.I. or someone lie to you.
The world is fucked up and I urge everyone to practice safe sex.
Getting flaccid with condoms is not a rare thing but it’s really a psychological thing. It can be adressed with a professionnal with high success rates. It’s usually related to anxiety. They react to you negatively when you ask for condoms becauze it puts them face first in their own problems and insecurities so they project them to you because it’s too hard for them to feel this. It’s just sad…
They’re right about the oral sex part though when it comes to bacterial infections such as gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis- the transmission risk is the same, despite almost no one ever using condoms for oral.
I definitely would never lash out or call someone names for wanting to use condoms, I’d just accept it and move on- but I’m also just not interested in condom sex anymore.
You’ll likely find that the real world is a lot less pro-condom than gay subreddits are, and that will remain true no matter how much this gets downvoted by the condom brigade lol
It's very true. This sub is entertaining but it is in no way indictive of the real gay world.
I will wear one on request but literally no one ever requests it. I'm on prep and get tested frequently, it's all a out protecting yourself and understanding what risks you are comfortable taking.
Remember that you set the barriers of entry for yourself. Once you set those, if someone doesn't agree they're an asshole if they continue to try.
There are a ton of guys who are condom friendly and likely into you, don't pay no thought to the ones who are dicks.
Where is this world where you don't use a condom? Did I stumble into 1986? If you were born after 1982 it was drilled into you to always use a condom and I was born then. I find it hard to believe that many gay men under 40 would have a problem with a condom.
Prep hit the scene. I haven't been asked to wear a condom since I got on it. I'm not sure where you are at but almost no gay man uses condoms in the US.
Lol, really? I'm in Phoenix, AZ and I'm familiar with PREP but it's not supposed to be used as a preventative drug. My understanding is that it's like a last line of defense against only HIV. I absolutely wouldn't trust a drug to block a virus over and over. I can only imagine what the STD rate is now. The first time I took the first PREP drug on the market I had a never-ending Inception type dream. It was a dream within a dream and so on forever it seemed. I'm going to try a different PREP drug. I'd ask your doctor about your sexual practices and I can promise he'll freak out.
How old are you if I may ask? PREP has been proven to reduce the risk of contracting HIV by like 99 percent. My Dr is who prescribed PREP. I go in every 3 months for testing. They are even testing out injectable PREP. There's also Doxy pep for the other STIs. Sexual health has come a long way.
I live in Phoenix as well and literally every man I know is on it.
I'm 42 lol. It's the 1%. You have to understand the early to mid 1990's. It was literally a war on HIV and AIDS with TV commercials for years. It's probably the most misunderstood disease of all time. I don't want to come off as a know it all but my ex is a medical doctor who specializes in autoimmune diseases. I'm the one who's been insisting on using a condom. Things like gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia aren't prevented by PREP and DoxyPep has to be taken literally the morning after and it's just an old antibiotic. When you take any antibiotic over and over other antibiotics in that antibiotic class aren't going to work after awhile. I wish PREP and DoxyPep were a cure all but they're not. It's great that you're getting tested though because syphilis is nasty. I understand that HIV isn't what it was but you don't want to have it.
I'm not a doctor but I'm a medicine nerd and researched all this when PREP came out. I'm just familiar with all of the drugs and mechanisms and asked a real doctor a ton of questions. None of that was intended as medical advice and was for educational value only.
I didn't know it was a widespread practice. No one, and they're all younger than me, has been bothered by me using a condom. Some guys mention they're on PREP but they never tell me not to use one. You are absolutely right it is between you and your doctor. I'm just trying to make the world a little less fucked up with my knowledge.
Also, I'm absolutely not perfect. There has been a few times when I haven't used a condom when I had the chance and this was before PREP. What I think doesn't really matter but you're being a hell of a lot more responsible and safe than guys who don't use condoms or PREP.
I have a partner that doesn’t use condoms and is poz-undetectable. It limits what we do a LOT - we haven’t fucked yet (I’m gonna get on prep soon).
I trust that he doesn’t use condoms for the reasons he says, but either you figure out what’s possible between you and the other person or you move on.
It’s a different dynamic, sure, but we make it work for now. Generally, I’ll lick his balls while he strokes and he’ll eat my ass and suck me to finish and then stroke himself until he cums.
You have a partner that you haven’t had sex with yet? Don’t you think it’s premature to call him your partner? What you’re calling sex is really foreplay.
Sure. If we’ve handled each others cocks and made each other cum and it wasn’t a one time thing, I consider that partners more than “some guy I hooked up with”. But definitions may vary.
Yea, that's how he got HIV, and he still hasn't learned anything. So, do you trust him to actually take his meds, to actually be undetectable whatever that even means because no HIV positive person is ever actually undetectable. I would not even trust him to make me a sandwich if I was you
This should not really be an issue if you are topping because then the condom use is your responsibility to physically manage. Does the area in which you reside have a low volume of prospective bottoms?
I don't use condoms. I don't lecture, try to convince, or cuss people out about it, and I also expect the same for them to me. But I just don't sleep with them. Consent lol
I would say they're lying about not being able to get hard with a condom on, but I do have trouble getting hard with one on. If you don't want to do bareback, just block them. They shouldn't be cursing you out and you can't let strangers on the internet get to you.
I mean I hate condoms and hate using them however if the other person wants a condom, a condom is used. Period. If someone says they can’t/wont use them they aren’t worth your time. Now that being said, if they do have a hard time maintaining an erection (it does happen) just be prepared to either be unsatisfied/sexually frustrated or play together other than penetrative sex.
if they want a condom I block them OP should do the same simple
Enjoy your stds.
why would I enjoy that?
You are bagging for your STDs dude
I don't have any STD
A question of time
I live in a country where you can get it treated.
The most important ones are incurable.
I live in a country where you have access to PrEP and vaccines.
I used to do sex education in the days before PreP. It's the same bullshit spread by selfish people. Condoms work for anyone with a dick. You can fit your entire arm in a standard condom. There are condoms for XL if your ego says you need one. And there are condoms for people allergic to latex and spermicide. Finally, oral sex is significantly lower risk for HIV and STI compared to anal or vaginal sex. You need to ignore these guys. If they get aggressive with you, just remind them that other STIs are on the rise outside of HIV.
>You can fit your entire arm in a standard condom Ehh I wish people would stop spreading this talking point because it’s really misleading/missing the point. Yes, condoms can stretch insane amounts, but that doesn’t mean they’re comfortable on someone who has a massive dick. I’m not speaking about myself cos I’m pretty average lmao but I’ve been with a few guys who are 8in+ and getting a regular condom on them was a nightmare. Normal condoms fit me perfectly so I don’t see why we should be mocking well endowed people for wanting to use an XL so that they can get that same experience?
> they have difficulties in maintaining an erection when using a condom Are you suggesting this is not true?
Yup.
Based on what?
I rather have no anal Sex than one with condom. It really feels unpleasant. Sucking and cuddling is enough to satisfy me anyways.
Enjoy your STDs.
Thats not how this works 🤣
Then enjoy your delusions and your STDs
Someone seems to have catched a mental illness. Like, what's your deal attacking a random stranger like that? Get well soon.
You are a danger to society and should be treated as such, simple as that.
Deflecting much? Grt help and dont write me again, thx
I see posts like this quite often, where is this place where people get all rude and start cursing each other out because because they didn't want to hookup? The second I tell a guy it's not gonna work they either ghost or block or I block if they're at all pushy.
Block and move on. You don’t want anal warts or herpes for the rest of your life for some random dirty Grindr hookup who won’t remember you in 24 hours.
I like how you chose the two things that condoms wouldnt necessarily protect against
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>scientifically 1 million times more likely to have some strange diseases Nah, semantics matter because being alarmist and wrong about risk isnt helpful. Youre more likely to catch something thats very likely easily treatable. You should be ok with the chance you could catch something though, correct.
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Those diseases can and often do infect the skin in areas not covered by a condom, like the base of ur dick and genital area in general. Condoms are helpful in lowering the risk, but the risk is still very present. For hsv, any human whos ever been sexually active has a decent chance of already having it. Also, you can protect urself against most strains of hpv through a vaccine. Bullying strangers into doing things they dont want to do is wrong, but gono and chlamydia would be better examples here. You were being alarmist at first "1 million times...", now youre getting a bit more grounded
>they consistently say they have difficulties in maintaining an erection when using a condom It's a genuine issue that affects me too. However, I don't resort to using derogatory terms if they insist on using a condom. The mere mention of a condom makes me lose interest anyway and I can't be bothered cursing out people over that.
Stay away from unprotected sex for casual sex, even if using PreP or Descovy. Sorry my stance…
Don’t apologize. Your stance is valid and should be the norm. Sadly it’s not.
I agree 100%. My biological father died of AIDS and trust me, it’s not fun to watch someone you care about go through it.
I’m so sorry, friend. AIDs is truly awful and not something anyone should take lightly.
I agree! Even today, HIV+ is increasing even with PreP/Descovy, of course at a slower rate as in the 80/90s. Thankfully!
It is your choice and i agree in using condoms, how to trust almost random encounters.
lol people lie, that's not news, i don't like condoms, and a lot of other guys also don't. just don't hook up with them if you prefer condoms. theres no reason to read their insults and take it personally lol i just laugh bc it's such small dick energy to start cursing when they hear no. most of them are very insecure
Oh, yeah. That's a bullshit lie that men have been telling women for decades. Stand your ground.
For a period, before hookup apps, condoms were worse, people wore them, and staying hard was not a common obstacle. Tell them you aren't interest if they can't get aroused enough to wear a condom. Or, suggest viagra for their performance issues. It's not a big ask if you are going to let a stranger put his dick in you. You probably should move on if they won't at least entertain a mature dialog about safety. Otherwise, if there are no other candidates then vaccinations, PreP, and Doxy-PEP seem the prudent route if you are hooking up with these type.
Yup. Anonymous sex is certainly not new, but before you could have sex at the tap of a few buttons this was just common after HIV/AIDS. People seem to think PrEP they're invincible to every STD in the book.
They ain’t wrong. It doesn’t matter if it’s oral or anal unprotected sex is unprotected sex. And if they have problems with their erections they should seek a doctor 🧑⚕️
Well, some of them may not lie. It really is an issue. Also it's sometimes like licking an ice cream over the glass. But of course safety is safety. It's harder to maintain erection, but possible. Calling you "names"... labelling... that's over the red line. Sex without a condom shall be agreed consciously from both sides. If they don't like condom, it's their problem not yours.
>when I decline, they resort to cursing me out and labeling me as uptight or other derogatory terms. I have never had this issue. If you're getting that kind of reaction so consistently, perhaps you should reflect on the way you communicate your refusal.
It's true that oral sex is a very similar risk for stds, especially if they're on prep. It's why I find the idea of oral with strangers gross.
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> Same with kissing. Not getting herpes for the rest of my life over a Grindr hookup. The overwhelming majority of adults on this planet carry oral herpes virus (HSV1) - many have it asymptomatic their whole life. The chances are you already have it.
Same with HPV, if you weren't vaccinated before having sex you probably have it. No one wants to know that though.
It's also common to be transmitted perinatally - ie. mother to child during childbirth.
And about 1 in 6 sexually active adults already carry herpes in the anogenital area but the vast majority are asymptomatic.
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You don't think someone you are dating could have it?
An antibody test is the only effective method of detecting a latent herpes infection.
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What’s less sexy than condoms? Trying to have sex while all my friends who’ve died from aids keep going thru my mind. If they can’t give you what you need to feel safe…they have no business getting what they want from you.
I’ve never had any difficulty using one. Always keep my erection and always cum.
I can be absolutely solid but as soon as I see a condom it's gone floppy.
That’s not normal at all
It is. They are just such a turn off.
It’s not.
Judging how I'm getting upvoted and you're not I'd say not people here agree with me more than you. Why do you care if I don't like condoms? Get over yourself.
I don’t care. I’m saying it’s abnormal to go flaccid at the very thought of being responsible and practicing safe sex lol
Condoms are abnormal and unnatural so 🤷🏻♂️ Go and peach elsewhere.
Your phobia of them is also abnormal. Block me if that hurts your feelings, snowflake
You're the snowflake. You initiated this 🤣
Your situational ED is by definition not normal, idk what you hope to gain by pointlessly refuting me. This ain’t a matter of opinion
Huh? You were down voted here, so are you sure people agree with you? You seem to care a lot about it.
I wasn't when I posted it. Then people decided to downvote me because they're a bit pathetic.
So only your upvotes mean anything, and if you are down voted, that means the people are "pathetic"? That sounds like a double standard.
If you tell yourself you can't keep a boner with a condom, then guess what? You won't.
I love condoms
Me too! People should practice more!
The only thing they want is to have complete access and control over your body and do whatever they want. It's a form of manipulation. I require condoms or I don't hookup. That simple. They're trying to degrade your morals and your boundaries. You don't want to have sex with someone who can't respect those because what else will they not respect?
Whether you are on prep or not, you should always wear a condom when hooking up with strangers. Whoever says "wearing a condom is a turn-off" has their mind warped by porn. If you can't get hard and wear a condom there's something seriously wrong with you mentally no matter your silly excuses. if you simply just "don't like the feel" then fucking suck it up and respect the other person's wishes and if you say its too tight on your cock then grow the fuck up, condoms come in all shapes, sizes, thicknesses, materials and stretch to unbelievable sizes so there's no reason to find the right ones other than you're just plain lazy. It's so unbelievable how so many people who have random hookups never use a condom. Don't you care about your sexual health or that of others? It's just stupid and selfish and I hope you never get a sexually transmitted infection because some stick with you for life but then again if you're willing to lie about condoms not fitting or turning you off then I'm willing to bet you would just as easily lie about an S.T.I. or someone lie to you. The world is fucked up and I urge everyone to practice safe sex.
Getting flaccid with condoms is not a rare thing but it’s really a psychological thing. It can be adressed with a professionnal with high success rates. It’s usually related to anxiety. They react to you negatively when you ask for condoms becauze it puts them face first in their own problems and insecurities so they project them to you because it’s too hard for them to feel this. It’s just sad…
They’re right about the oral sex part though when it comes to bacterial infections such as gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis- the transmission risk is the same, despite almost no one ever using condoms for oral. I definitely would never lash out or call someone names for wanting to use condoms, I’d just accept it and move on- but I’m also just not interested in condom sex anymore. You’ll likely find that the real world is a lot less pro-condom than gay subreddits are, and that will remain true no matter how much this gets downvoted by the condom brigade lol
It's very true. This sub is entertaining but it is in no way indictive of the real gay world. I will wear one on request but literally no one ever requests it. I'm on prep and get tested frequently, it's all a out protecting yourself and understanding what risks you are comfortable taking.
Having unprotected oral sex is dangerous though
Remember that you set the barriers of entry for yourself. Once you set those, if someone doesn't agree they're an asshole if they continue to try. There are a ton of guys who are condom friendly and likely into you, don't pay no thought to the ones who are dicks.
They are worthless. Move on and dont look back because they probably have twenty sti's.
The amount of people here that are "I refuse to use condoms" are maddening, some people really deserve HIV.
Funny that basically all standard safe sex practices go out the window with this crowd
Where is this world where you don't use a condom? Did I stumble into 1986? If you were born after 1982 it was drilled into you to always use a condom and I was born then. I find it hard to believe that many gay men under 40 would have a problem with a condom.
Prep hit the scene. I haven't been asked to wear a condom since I got on it. I'm not sure where you are at but almost no gay man uses condoms in the US.
Lol, really? I'm in Phoenix, AZ and I'm familiar with PREP but it's not supposed to be used as a preventative drug. My understanding is that it's like a last line of defense against only HIV. I absolutely wouldn't trust a drug to block a virus over and over. I can only imagine what the STD rate is now. The first time I took the first PREP drug on the market I had a never-ending Inception type dream. It was a dream within a dream and so on forever it seemed. I'm going to try a different PREP drug. I'd ask your doctor about your sexual practices and I can promise he'll freak out.
How old are you if I may ask? PREP has been proven to reduce the risk of contracting HIV by like 99 percent. My Dr is who prescribed PREP. I go in every 3 months for testing. They are even testing out injectable PREP. There's also Doxy pep for the other STIs. Sexual health has come a long way. I live in Phoenix as well and literally every man I know is on it.
I'm 42 lol. It's the 1%. You have to understand the early to mid 1990's. It was literally a war on HIV and AIDS with TV commercials for years. It's probably the most misunderstood disease of all time. I don't want to come off as a know it all but my ex is a medical doctor who specializes in autoimmune diseases. I'm the one who's been insisting on using a condom. Things like gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia aren't prevented by PREP and DoxyPep has to be taken literally the morning after and it's just an old antibiotic. When you take any antibiotic over and over other antibiotics in that antibiotic class aren't going to work after awhile. I wish PREP and DoxyPep were a cure all but they're not. It's great that you're getting tested though because syphilis is nasty. I understand that HIV isn't what it was but you don't want to have it.
Are you a Dr?
I'm not a doctor but I'm a medicine nerd and researched all this when PREP came out. I'm just familiar with all of the drugs and mechanisms and asked a real doctor a ton of questions. None of that was intended as medical advice and was for educational value only.
But you didn't know gay men used PREP for prevention? Regardless, this is a decision between people and their Drs.
I didn't know it was a widespread practice. No one, and they're all younger than me, has been bothered by me using a condom. Some guys mention they're on PREP but they never tell me not to use one. You are absolutely right it is between you and your doctor. I'm just trying to make the world a little less fucked up with my knowledge.
Also, I'm absolutely not perfect. There has been a few times when I haven't used a condom when I had the chance and this was before PREP. What I think doesn't really matter but you're being a hell of a lot more responsible and safe than guys who don't use condoms or PREP.
I have a partner that doesn’t use condoms and is poz-undetectable. It limits what we do a LOT - we haven’t fucked yet (I’m gonna get on prep soon). I trust that he doesn’t use condoms for the reasons he says, but either you figure out what’s possible between you and the other person or you move on. It’s a different dynamic, sure, but we make it work for now. Generally, I’ll lick his balls while he strokes and he’ll eat my ass and suck me to finish and then stroke himself until he cums.
You have a partner that you haven’t had sex with yet? Don’t you think it’s premature to call him your partner? What you’re calling sex is really foreplay.
Sure. If we’ve handled each others cocks and made each other cum and it wasn’t a one time thing, I consider that partners more than “some guy I hooked up with”. But definitions may vary.
Yea, that's how he got HIV, and he still hasn't learned anything. So, do you trust him to actually take his meds, to actually be undetectable whatever that even means because no HIV positive person is ever actually undetectable. I would not even trust him to make me a sandwich if I was you
This should not really be an issue if you are topping because then the condom use is your responsibility to physically manage. Does the area in which you reside have a low volume of prospective bottoms?
I don't use condoms. I don't lecture, try to convince, or cuss people out about it, and I also expect the same for them to me. But I just don't sleep with them. Consent lol