This is why I always feel iffy around guys who talk a big game or act over-confident. You're meeting a total stranger to put yourself in the most vulnerable position imaginable. Show SOME nervousness, geez.
I have the opposite problem. I get talking to too many people, say I’m down to fuck with everyone and then get overwhelmed with options that I just don’t open the app for ages and hope they forget about me 😔
My pro tip is that schedules don’t work for casual hookups. If you schedule it out a day or two in advance and the day comes and you’re not actually horny anymore people will bail on you. Flake. Ghost. It’s happened to me and I’ve done it to them. Lol. And nobody feels bad about it because you’re just some random horny man on Grindr
Even the same day may not be good enough. The guy can jerk off or find someone else who will get him off sooner.
Doing it in the heat of the moment is kind of the only real guarantee you have.
I really need to do that. My last hookup I tried to do it, I got on Grindr right after we finished and tried to go get some more dick but it just didn’t work out.
Oh fuck, yeah. That’s my current problem. On vacation rn and it seems like EVERYBODY wants to fuck lol
I like being sent pics, so it’s hard to say no right away
I have Grindr. But I just have a blank profile. I just use it when I’m bored and wanting to see who’s around and what their profile says. Lol. If I go out of town (which I haven’t in a while), then I’ll put a profile up, but doesn’t necessarily mean I plan to meet someone. But other than that, from all my experiences, Grindr is usually nothing but trouble. Thieves, liars, bots 🤖, drugs, hookers. And if you’re looking for drugs or hookers, there’s a big chance you’re talking to the thief or someone who’s planning to rob you or the police.
Good ole fashioned simple and non-complicated fun is hard to come by on Grindr.
When you say “hey” just to get the validation that this hot guy responds and is into you, but you actually have no intention of leaving your bed for the night 😬
I honestly do this all the time
Lmao thank God I was able to actually find a good person and delete that app. I feel like this is why gay relationships never work out. A foundation built on sex, looks, and lies will inevitably crumble. It’s only a hookup app because people allow it to be🤷🏽♂️ just my personal opinion. OP doesn’t sound like he wants anything real.
“…gay relationships never work out…built on sex, looks and lies…”
I’d agree if your wording were different. “Relationships initiated on Grindr based on sex, looks and lies never work out.” “Gay relationships,” on the other hand, can, indeed work out great.
I see a lot of great gay relationships between guys who have nothing to do with Grindr, have never lied to each other and don’t use sex and looks as their basis.
And that is totally okay bro, I’m 24 and I made it abundantly clear to my partner that sex is only a fraction of what we need to be concerned with as a gay couple in 2022, and he agrees and tbh I’ve never been happier.
And we never get to have real progress or address these issues because someone always has to deflect or get offended when the truth fucking hurts sometimes. There is too much hyper sexuality in the community point blank period.
I understand what your saying but I feel like because of trauma and other things hyper sexuality is rampant in our community and so much revolves around sex.
When you get / ridiculous amount of twinks with no profile pics, messaging you their butholes and only saying “bbc?” When your profile is fully clothed and talking about love for nature an animals, Maybe you’ll understand what I mean. I use Grindr as an example because unless ur the party type or just know a lot of gay people you are probably on Grindr on Tindr like I was. I say all this to say it’s nearly impossible to build a friendship or relationship on those apps that don’t start with something sexual because of the culture surrounding that app. It didn’t have to be a hookup app and still doesn’t. I’m generalizing and saying gay because my focus is on the gay community I could care less about the straights.
That’s exactly why I don’t participate in the “Grindr community.” When I first broke up with a long-term bf and was single for the first time in a long while, I was curious about Grindr and downloaded it.
But after a history of having met nice guys in “real life” (before and including that bf) and having enjoyed dates with them, I was flabbergasted by the response on Grindr. I got plenty of messages, but most of them were from guys who sounded like they were mentally disturbed and had a very unhealthy attitude toward sex and relationships. Even the rare guys I met there who seemed better ended up showing another side eventually (But there is the chicken-or-egg question of whether Grindr somehow taints people or just attracts disproportionate numbers of jaded people).
One day I gave my last couple of responses on there of “I think I’m going to just get rid of this app”‘and then I stopped using it that day and I have never missed it for a moment.
I think that we tend to see the community as being the people that we allow to participate in our daily lives. If you are always going to a place occupied by people with unhealthy attitudes, you’ll think that’s the community. If you ignore them and gravitate toward people with healthy attitudes, you’ll see those people as the community.
> A foundation built on sex, looks, and lies will inevitably crumble.
I mean... yes, if the only thing two people have in common is that they find each other attractive and enjoy the sex, then a long term relationship probably won't work out. But I don't think you can deny that looks are still important. (I know you didn't deny that specifically of course.)
To give an example of the opposite case (common interests/hobbies but no sexual interest): I once went on some dates with someone I didn't find at all physically attractive, hoping some romantic feelings would come... but no. He was really fun to talk to as well and we had a lot of interests in common, but I had no physical attraction to him. A LTR would never have worked in that case either. What do you think?
Never said physical attraction isn’t important, but I need more than just that personally, my only thing is a nice face and decently in shape, I don’t like the Greek god bodies because 9 times out of ten it’s their entire personality.
That makes sense, sorry I know you didn't say it's not important, I edited my comment to say that but you had already responded haha. And yeah, I often swipe left on the "Greek gods" because you can tell from some of their pics that they worship themselves :p
I don’t think Grindr is the problem, as long as your profile isn’t half naked, and you actually talk about yourself and not your c0ck in the bio, you’ll attract people who want more.
Im sorry to hear that ;( I think that almost happened to me today. I’ve been trying to stop myself from saying yes to risky situations even though my libido is screaming at me to go for it.
I don't mind going out... provided
1. The location is close. I don't drive OR I can get a ride
2. It's early. I'm not a night owl
3. It's not too close to mealtime. I'm broke AF and can't afford to buy something enroute or afterwards
With those 3 factors... it's HARD to do anything!
Well I think it’s about what your definition of dumb shit is. Hooking up with a stranger after a short chat and getting some light background on them is fine to me. And that’s often what I use Grindr for. However, inviting a guy over just because he has a huge dick even though he has no face pic and seems aggressive/unstable, that’s some dumb shit…..that I did today.
Mmmmm this may be true for many people but not 100% of them. Grindr, like all dating apps, is a lot of wading through a bunch of garbage to find the niche of guys who truly want you. It’s mentally exhausting, and totally ok to not have the energy for a lot of the time.
Sometimes when I'm unable to decide if I really want to go out and hook up with the guy I am chatting with or take it easy, I'd like for the guy to turn me down so I dont have to decide and bear the consequences. Lol.
All the damn time. Not because of that, but because men on Grindr waste too much time getting a date/hookup or whatever going. By time they’re ready to give a go-ahead, it’s too late for me! I end up with something else to do or I’m just too damn tired and want to relax for the rest of my evening!
since I host, they are the ones coming over to MY place to do dumb shit...!
But, sure, there is occasionally a Phew he did not reply, kinda thing going on.
My own sexual routine is fairly predictable these days, tho, so my range of stupid is delimited!
Why do guys hit me up when i'm in the area Like when I go to different areas. Guys hit me up when I go in the area. It's just weird I guess cause I pop up in the area I come up I just wanted to know some more about it in general
It's not an issue, when nobody actually responds.
Same
Some nights are just plain dry
All the time.
You would not think agreeing to have quick anonymous (ish) sex would be THIS intimidating and difficult for horny gay dudes. And yet, here we all are.
This is why I always feel iffy around guys who talk a big game or act over-confident. You're meeting a total stranger to put yourself in the most vulnerable position imaginable. Show SOME nervousness, geez.
I send guys my worst pictures so they’ll block me and I wont feel bad because I didn’t ghost them
Lmao I send the most unflattering pics to people I want to turn down, hoping they'll do it first haha
And then get annoyed when they’re still down
Here I was thinking I was alone
But then you get ghosted 🤣
Yeah same. I learned that trick awhile ago. Firstly send an ugly pic and if they don't block, I'd send a good one.
Personally, I send bad pics so expectations stay within reason. If we do meet, I don't wanna be told I don't look as good in person :(
Yes and I feel both neglected, rejected and relieved 😆
The gay trifecta.
I have the opposite problem. I get talking to too many people, say I’m down to fuck with everyone and then get overwhelmed with options that I just don’t open the app for ages and hope they forget about me 😔
Pro tip: You have to make a schedule. Haha I have a few guys that like to be second or third. sometime I can get all of them in one day.
My pro tip is that schedules don’t work for casual hookups. If you schedule it out a day or two in advance and the day comes and you’re not actually horny anymore people will bail on you. Flake. Ghost. It’s happened to me and I’ve done it to them. Lol. And nobody feels bad about it because you’re just some random horny man on Grindr
I guess it is not like I'm scheduled a month in advance. But during the same day or moment.
Even the same day may not be good enough. The guy can jerk off or find someone else who will get him off sooner. Doing it in the heat of the moment is kind of the only real guarantee you have.
Love to fuck a used cummy hole 🤤 Another guy’s cum is hot lube, and extra motivation to ensure the boy really remembers me 😈
I'll just go ahead and ask what everyone else won't. Can we all dm you? :)
I really need to do that. My last hookup I tried to do it, I got on Grindr right after we finished and tried to go get some more dick but it just didn’t work out.
Get a secretary. She'll remind you of your 10 o clock with Mr. Bottom.
That Family Guy episode. OP could even ask them to leave their used underwear to participate in the monthly raffle
My appointments are always with Mr Top 😉
Oh fuck, yeah. That’s my current problem. On vacation rn and it seems like EVERYBODY wants to fuck lol I like being sent pics, so it’s hard to say no right away
Haha same. I send mine out like christmas cards as well.
This is the other side of all those posts talking about people ghosting them lol
LMAO this killed me, ur so right
Yes 😩
Not really cause when I'm hitting up dudes on Grindr I'm hoping to be able to go out and do some dumb shit
See but how dumb are we talking
Grindr is 50% being ignored by the guys you hit up and 50% ignoring the guys that hit you up.
i read somewhere "theres been so many bad decisions that could have been solved much earlier with a good wank" :P
This is so true and I’ve been bringing in my post nut clarity to save the day recently but today she failed me
I have Grindr. But I just have a blank profile. I just use it when I’m bored and wanting to see who’s around and what their profile says. Lol. If I go out of town (which I haven’t in a while), then I’ll put a profile up, but doesn’t necessarily mean I plan to meet someone. But other than that, from all my experiences, Grindr is usually nothing but trouble. Thieves, liars, bots 🤖, drugs, hookers. And if you’re looking for drugs or hookers, there’s a big chance you’re talking to the thief or someone who’s planning to rob you or the police. Good ole fashioned simple and non-complicated fun is hard to come by on Grindr.
When you say “hey” just to get the validation that this hot guy responds and is into you, but you actually have no intention of leaving your bed for the night 😬 I honestly do this all the time
Are you me???
Lollll I’m really shocked that so many people relate to this, I thought this post was gonna flop
Only everyday. 🙃
Lmao thank God I was able to actually find a good person and delete that app. I feel like this is why gay relationships never work out. A foundation built on sex, looks, and lies will inevitably crumble. It’s only a hookup app because people allow it to be🤷🏽♂️ just my personal opinion. OP doesn’t sound like he wants anything real.
“…gay relationships never work out…built on sex, looks and lies…” I’d agree if your wording were different. “Relationships initiated on Grindr based on sex, looks and lies never work out.” “Gay relationships,” on the other hand, can, indeed work out great. I see a lot of great gay relationships between guys who have nothing to do with Grindr, have never lied to each other and don’t use sex and looks as their basis.
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And that is totally okay bro, I’m 24 and I made it abundantly clear to my partner that sex is only a fraction of what we need to be concerned with as a gay couple in 2022, and he agrees and tbh I’ve never been happier.
And we never get to have real progress or address these issues because someone always has to deflect or get offended when the truth fucking hurts sometimes. There is too much hyper sexuality in the community point blank period.
I understand what your saying but I feel like because of trauma and other things hyper sexuality is rampant in our community and so much revolves around sex. When you get / ridiculous amount of twinks with no profile pics, messaging you their butholes and only saying “bbc?” When your profile is fully clothed and talking about love for nature an animals, Maybe you’ll understand what I mean. I use Grindr as an example because unless ur the party type or just know a lot of gay people you are probably on Grindr on Tindr like I was. I say all this to say it’s nearly impossible to build a friendship or relationship on those apps that don’t start with something sexual because of the culture surrounding that app. It didn’t have to be a hookup app and still doesn’t. I’m generalizing and saying gay because my focus is on the gay community I could care less about the straights.
That’s exactly why I don’t participate in the “Grindr community.” When I first broke up with a long-term bf and was single for the first time in a long while, I was curious about Grindr and downloaded it. But after a history of having met nice guys in “real life” (before and including that bf) and having enjoyed dates with them, I was flabbergasted by the response on Grindr. I got plenty of messages, but most of them were from guys who sounded like they were mentally disturbed and had a very unhealthy attitude toward sex and relationships. Even the rare guys I met there who seemed better ended up showing another side eventually (But there is the chicken-or-egg question of whether Grindr somehow taints people or just attracts disproportionate numbers of jaded people). One day I gave my last couple of responses on there of “I think I’m going to just get rid of this app”‘and then I stopped using it that day and I have never missed it for a moment. I think that we tend to see the community as being the people that we allow to participate in our daily lives. If you are always going to a place occupied by people with unhealthy attitudes, you’ll think that’s the community. If you ignore them and gravitate toward people with healthy attitudes, you’ll see those people as the community.
I mean if you want to sit here and pretend it’s only an issue online be my guest.
> A foundation built on sex, looks, and lies will inevitably crumble. I mean... yes, if the only thing two people have in common is that they find each other attractive and enjoy the sex, then a long term relationship probably won't work out. But I don't think you can deny that looks are still important. (I know you didn't deny that specifically of course.) To give an example of the opposite case (common interests/hobbies but no sexual interest): I once went on some dates with someone I didn't find at all physically attractive, hoping some romantic feelings would come... but no. He was really fun to talk to as well and we had a lot of interests in common, but I had no physical attraction to him. A LTR would never have worked in that case either. What do you think?
Never said physical attraction isn’t important, but I need more than just that personally, my only thing is a nice face and decently in shape, I don’t like the Greek god bodies because 9 times out of ten it’s their entire personality.
That makes sense, sorry I know you didn't say it's not important, I edited my comment to say that but you had already responded haha. And yeah, I often swipe left on the "Greek gods" because you can tell from some of their pics that they worship themselves :p
OP is actually hooked on the “hookup” app but ignores his problems and makes posts like this
Absolutely. I’m still trying to find that one so I get tf off this shit. I wish I had more self-control to not use Grindr all the damn time smh…
I don’t think Grindr is the problem, as long as your profile isn’t half naked, and you actually talk about yourself and not your c0ck in the bio, you’ll attract people who want more.
Sometimes but I'm rarely on grindr if I don't intend to leave that second to go fuck
I've been attacked....
Im sorry to hear that ;( I think that almost happened to me today. I’ve been trying to stop myself from saying yes to risky situations even though my libido is screaming at me to go for it.
.... The post....
Ohhh….wow my string of stupidity continues, even into the digital sphere apparently
I don't mind going out... provided 1. The location is close. I don't drive OR I can get a ride 2. It's early. I'm not a night owl 3. It's not too close to mealtime. I'm broke AF and can't afford to buy something enroute or afterwards With those 3 factors... it's HARD to do anything!
Why are you on Grindr if you're afraid you may go out and do some dumb shit? If you feel that way you should delete your profile.
Well I think it’s about what your definition of dumb shit is. Hooking up with a stranger after a short chat and getting some light background on them is fine to me. And that’s often what I use Grindr for. However, inviting a guy over just because he has a huge dick even though he has no face pic and seems aggressive/unstable, that’s some dumb shit…..that I did today.
No, I just choose not to hit up dudes on Grindr and I choose not go out and do dumb shit.
95% of the time 5% other time is chats for lols that I think both parties understand there is not gonna be a meet up
No, you sound mentally ill.
I eat mental illness for breakfast
Newp. No Grindr, no dumb shit.
I have been afraid to sign up with grinder. I am afraid my wife might find out
oh there’s a lot to unpack here
Would you like to fill me in on grinder. How to use it ...
Yes
All the time
Hahahhaha yes
If I'm unsure, I'll completely close the app and won't reopen it for at least 24 hours
Your will powerrr. I have had this strength at times. Other times, not so much.
Sorta. It’s only for people I realize I’m not into after sending message
I just always hope the hot guy isn’t actually an elderly British woman
All the time. Thank you for this.
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Well I’ll be damned. I’ve got a weak one. It just quietly peeps “I don’t know about this…” and then my dick screams “WELL I DO”
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Mmmmm this may be true for many people but not 100% of them. Grindr, like all dating apps, is a lot of wading through a bunch of garbage to find the niche of guys who truly want you. It’s mentally exhausting, and totally ok to not have the energy for a lot of the time.
Sometimes when I'm unable to decide if I really want to go out and hook up with the guy I am chatting with or take it easy, I'd like for the guy to turn me down so I dont have to decide and bear the consequences. Lol.
Yes exactly. And then when they end up responding and you just think “god damnit, there’s no stopping me now”
Instantly getting flashbacks from when I would get mad and anxious whenever I got a match on tinder lol
All the damn time. Not because of that, but because men on Grindr waste too much time getting a date/hookup or whatever going. By time they’re ready to give a go-ahead, it’s too late for me! I end up with something else to do or I’m just too damn tired and want to relax for the rest of my evening!
Make some rice pudding instead
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I kindaaa feel this though I feel like I’m usually only truly into one of them. The rest I’m only into the idea of.
As my momma would say, don't go do bald head hoe shit with a head full of hair.
My hair is feeling really disrespected by my bald headed behavior recently
Jeez that's called living life
Nah I can’t wait to pound that bottom
since I host, they are the ones coming over to MY place to do dumb shit...! But, sure, there is occasionally a Phew he did not reply, kinda thing going on. My own sexual routine is fairly predictable these days, tho, so my range of stupid is delimited!
ALL THE TIME
If I notice I am in that mindset I just jerk off or get stoned. Takes my mind off hook up apps
Exactly. But sometimes you just can’t find it in you to let the orgasm go unaccompanied.
Yeah I get that. That’s what got me started getting into edging. At a certain point, like an hour, I have to nut.
LMAO yes hahahaha
No? Grindr like all other apps are my hunting ground, I want to sleep with as more as possible hot guys I can
Why do guys hit me up when i'm in the area Like when I go to different areas. Guys hit me up when I go in the area. It's just weird I guess cause I pop up in the area I come up I just wanted to know some more about it in general