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LeveragedPittsburgh

Thoughts and prayers. There, all better now.


[deleted]

A perfect comment. But them begging for Deliverance made me think of another line.


ColHapHapablap

But we said “thoughts and prayers”. That concludes our responsibility.


Warlord68

You could add, This isn’t the right time to talk about issues.


_THX_1138_

“I said ‘ha ha’”


ColHapHapablap

Well placed Nelson reference


HamfastFurfoot

Problem solved.


xenopizza

“Its all part of Gods plan” ?


xXThreeRoundXx

"GOD WILLS IT!"


MutantMartian

He will not give you anything you can’t handle. (Always a good line for a grieving parent)


Bigspotdaddy

“Mysterious ways” sorry if you don’t like it. 🤷‍♂️ -Christians probably


watchingsongsDL

I just want to say: Deliverance is a great movie but nobody says anything about it except for the rape scene. A great cast and a great reflection on society’s transition from rural living to urban and suburban. A dark, powerful, suspenseful movie.


pipian

Also the bow fishing was pretty cool


TheOtherGlikbach

Squeal like a pig boy.


ethnicnebraskan

And probably the best advertisement for getting metal canoe over wood one.


cityshepherd

The banjos?


PsychoticMessiah

Squeal like a pig?


RIPdon_sutton

I can't remember the exact quote, but at the end of the movie, the sheriff tells them something to the effect of " you boys better not come back around here".... P.S. The sheriff was played by James Dickey...the guy that wrote the book.


giraffebutter

Phew…glad you did that. They should be ok now


DenisNectar

Yes, let them be shielded by the hand of God, amirite? Pouahaha


Agingsadly

Wow, a real shocker. So I’m thinking maybe 2 in the thoughts and 1 in the prayers?


Emergency_Property_2

Beats anything I thought to say.


joopledoople

I dunno man, I may find their cause to be stupid, but this is actually life or death, and I don't wish death on anyone. Especially not at the hands of Haitian gangsters. They're just stupid. They don't deserve a violent death


NoDarkVision

>I don't wish death on anyone. No one is wishing death on anyone. People already said thoughts and prayers. It's up to their god now.


keyserv2

I wonder if they did any research on where they were going? I know for a fact naturalized Hatians from the States go there with armed escorts as soon as they get off the plane. I guess their sky lord had a plan...


survivoremoji23

Oh no, are you having a hard time indoctrinating all their children?


Dirtgrain

No worries, Christianity brings stability everywhere it goes . . . er . . .


laptopaccount

Grooming. The word is grooming.


caronare

Pretty sure the French did that with colonization of the islands…


CommunicationHot7822

Shouldn’t their god be helping them?


trailrider

i"M Uh PrAyEr WaRrEoR!!! I"s hAvE dA ArMeR oF GAWD!!! TiS AlL GaWdS PaNs!!!!


greenweenievictim

One like = one prayer 🙏


birdlawspecialist2

If they can just get enough Facebook likes.


NJDevil69

It works. I saw someone on Facebook ask for likes and prayers because they had Covid. They made sure not to get the Bill Gates 5G jab and managed to get some of their dog’s ivermectin medicine. It was a miracle! They stopped posting for help and went quiet after two weeks of fighting the china virus! I assume no news is good news!


DontTellMerylifarted

What was it they said during the height of Covid again? Oh yah, “I’m covered in the blood of Christ.” Seemed so macabre


PsychoticMessiah

God helps those who help themselves amirite?


Biffingston

Don't worry, they'll go to heaven if they catch one of those bullets so it's all OK. Right? \*cough\*


RIPdon_sutton

It's all a part of God's plan.


stpauliguy

The lord works in mysterious ways


TheFinnesseEagle

He works in mysterious ways


zues64

I'm sure he's happy to help them find their lost keys


DarkestofFlames

He's busy fixing sporting events


ctothel

And turning traffic lights green for people who are late for work


Miss_Smokahontas

They're missionaries of the false God unfortunately.


Frostvizen

We’re praying for you!!! This is all part of gods plan!!


snakeeaterrrrrrr

They always talk about how much they love God but for some reason really don't want to meet him.


TheFinnesseEagle

Animal instincts are a bitch, but...oh ya, I forgot, they don't believe in evolution.


Saneless

And he's so amazing and loving but doesn't want to help them


FIZUK9

It’s all part of God’s plan that you’re there. You just stay put now. You put yourself in this situation. I don’t see why our tax dollars should have to bail you out.


originalrocket

Thoughts and Prayers. It's gods will.


RichardsLeftNipple

It'll make for one super duper testimony if they make it out.


Nemo4ever7158

Well most of them don't have any problems with school shootings back home, soooo my thoughts and prayers to them .


xenopizza

Yeah they should all go that secluded island, the natives get antsy sometimes and could use the target practice


westofme

Exactly. Should feel like home for them then? So what's the issue?


dontneedaknow

Jesus take the wheel!!!


fightingthefuckits

Best get to prayin'


oscar-the-bud

I don’t care if it rains or freezes as long as I got my plastic Jesus riding on the dashboard of my car.


Adam_Sackler

Why is it that missionaries always prey on poorer countries? I mean, I know it's not exclusively poor countries, but I see/hear about them in those more often than not. My ex's family were from the Philippines and her aunt was a judgemental religious nut, and had *Mormons*, of all people, living in her family's massive house in Thailand in between them going to small villages to "help" locals. They're telling me they didn't preach to the locals *once*? Bullshit. They seem to go to poor countries where people aren't sick of hearing their nonsense, "help" a bit and then take advantage. "Well, gee, now that we've helped you guys out, wanna know who sent us here? Our Sky Daddy! Join our cult today!"


Thomaseeno

It's been a while since I've been in the know and I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure they want to spread the word so that Jesus comes back. As in, he won't until everyone's had a chance to hear it.


lempereurnu

It must be God's will! /s


Positive-Fox-6296

"God" will save them right?! 🙄


mchantloup5

Jesus will save them!


cruelhumor

Kinda sick of charities refusing to evacuate when the order is given, only to "plead for assistance" which shit gets real. Happened when we pulled out of Afghanistan. They wanted to stay and help as long as they could, but then were begging the military (borderline CHASTISING the military) to come back and get them.


Kaje26

Assuming the missionaries aren’t bad people (and I am just assuming that) that’s a horrible situation to be in and I hope they make it out alive. I hope the situation comes to an end and as many Haitian civilians as possible stay safe, also. But you know there’s an easy solution for the missionaries to avoid this in the future if they make it out alive: just stop doing that.


Illustrious_Toe_4755

There's an excellent doc on HBO that delves into what type of people missionaries..the delusions of grandeur run deep with that crowd.


vanillabeanlover

“Savior Complex”?


GM_Nate

white savior complex, specifically


sadsealions

They are trying to enforce a religion that nobody wants, that makes them bad people.


EightandaHalf-Tails

95+% of Haitians are already Christian. Missionaries in the country are doing humanitarian work. For example, the family mentioned in the article who run an orphanage.


sadsealions

To what end?


Masamundane

To bring school, food, and clean water to 50+ children?


TheWandererKing

*school. You mean indoctrination? Who sets the curriculum at these schools? I'm all for the food and water and an education, but who is setting the curriculum?


Masamundane

Oh, there is probably Jesus in the school. Probably tons of it. But, the other option for these kids? **Restavek:** A restavek is a child in Haiti who is sold by their parents to work for a host household as a domestic servant because the parents lack the resources required to support the child. That is who the school brings in. Sometimes things aren't black and white.


ToastedTreant

They are so dumb.


TerraByteTerror

Who needs help when u have "god" looking out for you?


Yun0Grinberryall

Despite their beliefs, I’d rather not see them raped and murdered.


_EADGBE_

No one wants to see anyone raped and murdered but the irony of people going into a hostile, unstable country to do gods work, only to cry for help from the US when shit gets hairy is really at the core of the reason the word ‘atheist’ exists


rocketshipkiwi

That’s just god testing them


hekx

*hence* why we are giving our thoughts and prayers. duh


TableQuiet1518

Free will is a mf, ain't it? God hasn't stopped genocides throughout history so why tf would he care about this? If god is love then I've been doing it all wrong because he's one vengeful fuckin being.


3Quondam6extanT9

Stop. Spreading. Your. God-virus.


seriousbangs

What worries me is the kids. All the time kids get dragged along on these stupid and dangerous missionary trips. No fault of their own, just came out of the wrong vagina.


JimTheJerseyGuy

Surely the prayers can make it stop? Try harder. Seriously, the US State Department has had a “DO NOT TRAVEL” advisory for Haiti since the middle of last year and evacuated non-essential embassy personnel and all family members of staff *months* ago. You are on your own.


justrock54

I had a second cousin that was a missionary in Haiti. He and his wife went every year to try and help wipe out tuberculosis through a vaccination program. Out of all my Bible thumping relatives I actually respected him for his effort to follow the teachings of Christ. He left his comfortable Virginia home with his wife and spent months in a tent, trying to get people healthy. My problem with most religious people is the rampant hypocrisy they exhibit. These unfortunate people put life and limb in mortal danger to help others. That deserves compassion and respect even if we don't share their belief system.


Super_Reading2048

Yes but he actually did some good! Missionaries need to shut up and do something like Doctors Without Borders.


Relevant-Ad-3140

Wait what?! Asking the government for help? Why don’t they just pray for the baby Jesus to help them like they do when there’s yet another school shooting 😏


Nopantsbullmoose

Meh, let the god save them if he wants. If not, well it's his will.


truthputer

The US government issued a red alert “do not travel” advisory for Haiti 7 months ago and urged all US citizens to leave the country immediately. This is an extremely predictable situation these people found themselves stuck in because they thought they knew better. but I do get their urge to want to help people and children - especially if this woman was running an orphanage, the kids may not have had any caregivers if she left. It’s a nasty situation.


drewskibfd

Maybe if they pray harder...


GrimmRadiance

They were literally told not to go there on these types of missions.


sometimesifeellikemu

Missionaries are the worst.


Masamundane

The family in question here are helping Mission of Grace; a community outreach program in Haiti that, yes, is Christian in origin. In fact, they (Mission of Grace) are VERY Christian. However, Mission of Grace itself is Haitian in origin, and not technically missionaries. It (Mission of Grace) was started in Haiti in 2009 by local pastors Linotte and Jean Joseph, after a mudslide nearly destroyed the village of Carries. after the 2010 earthquakes, they asked for missionaries to come and help. The Dolan family are indeed missionaries. Mrs. Jill Dolan, helps run an orphanage in the small village of Plaisance du Sud, and currently govern over the health and education of 50+ kids. Haiti is currently under a violent regime change as gang leader Jimmy (The Barbeque) Chérizier demands the resignation of Prime Minister Ariel Henry. two major prisons have been taken in the violence, freeing thousands of criminals into the streets.


MarcusSurealius

Over the years, how many foreign spys do you think we've had to exchange for stupid Americans? How many bribes? Thoughts and prayers.


Consistent_Trash6007

So when these gangs said they were gonna do this why did they stay?


Scr33ble

Turns out it’s not God’s plan they’re interested in, it’s God’s PLANE so they can gtf outta there


One_Reception_7321

Regardless of how we feel about their religious choices, we should wish suffering on no one. Lest we are no better than the worst of them.  Rape, murder, torture,  cannibalism 


FionaTheFierce

Wow. I am an atheist and a moral person. I am really saddened to see the death and harmed wished on anyone in a terrible situation. I can disagree with someone’s views and not condemn them, wish harm on them, etc. Many of the comment here are no better than the sorts of intolerant comments of religious extremists.


chrisbcritter

My first thought was something mature and compassionate like "Ha Ha!" Then I remembered that most of these people are actually doing things like providing medical care or volunteering and essentially doing the things everyone claiming to be Christian should be doing. I have to admit that most of these missionaries are NGO volunteers.


TheOGJNX13

Wow. Anyway…


uniPasta83

I like missionary, but never wanted to be one.


PlasticMysterious622

Do you do zero research before you just move into a foreign land?


JarlTurin2020

They made the choice to go there. Just remind them that being a martyr for christ is the highest honor a christian can have. Embrace martyrdom and good riddance.


Binasgarden

If a religious organization can donate 62 million to Trump they can pay to get their own people out of Haiti. Not on the government dime


No_Biscotti_7110

I feel like if you are traveling to Haiti you should have some kind of get-the-fuck-out plan


MrPuzzleMan

Regardless of their religious beliefs, it bothers me anyone on a mission of peace would be trapped, like Red Cross or World Health. Not the same thing, but still. Not trying to be a buzz kill but just pointing out that they are human, too.


tenor1trpt

Warlords who shoot people in the face. What’s so scary about that?


magentabag

Maybe keep your ass at home?


fitter172

Shouldn’t be there. No need, they have made their choice that’s why it’s like that there.


FidgetyRat

Jesus take the wherl


MabusIncarnate

This is all part of God's plan.


y-a-me-a

This is terrible but these people need to mind their own fucking business and keep their beliefs to themselves.


beabea8753

This is literally just propaganda to manufacture consent for that stupid ass invasion the u.s wants so bad through kenya.


El-Shaman

Wonder if they can make it to the border and cross to the Dominican Republic, will be fairly easy to return to the USA from there.   Anyway.. good luck, don’t wish any harm on these people, hope they get back home safely.


blueskies1800

What? Their prayers aren't working?


RejectKid89

Is it weird I could care less about their well being? Like theyre over there trying to spread their cult to people who dont want it. Like stop abusing people


daredaki-sama

You went out of your way to get yourself into this. Now get yourself out.


UnclearObjective

"Jesus won't give you more than you can handle" "This is just God's plan" Thoughts and prayers" "Pass around the collection plate for Joel Olsteens and maybe Jesus will save you"


Fabio421

This is all just part of Gods plan. No need to fight it. Just relax and let it happen.


Lykan_

No sympathy for these idiots and their church trying to spread their bullshit cult.


Potatoki1er

Fry : Do we have to? They're monks, after all. I'm sure their God will let them out, or at least give them more shoes to eat.


SacredGeometry9

Missionary work is dangerous. It’s a band aid solution that distracts and diverts resources from systematic infrastructural change that would actually help.


CHiggins1235

These missionaries have another term for them. Civilians. We need to get them out of harms way


Old-Run-9523

It's almost like they don't trust their Gawd to protect them. 😏


SubterrelProspector

Christ alive I hadn't realized there might be all kinds of different US citizens that could be trapped there.


gamergabby8

It seems the comments here are saying the missionaries deserve to be put in danger... wth...


Special_Set3748

HahahajjajajajajhahahJahhHahHHhJajahHj. Thots and prayers.


feckineejit

Missionaries deserve what they get. At best they are spreading a message of false hope and at worst they end up being pedos


Crash665

I mean, they shouldn't be raped and murdered even if you disagree with why they're there. Some of these comments are horrible.


gold109

Yes they add in religious stuff, but these people are still doing good charity work in Haiti. Mocking them for not wanting to be raped, tortured, and murdered for being foreigners isnt right. Yes its silly to pray for their safety, but its gross to mock their wish for safety.


Incubator_Kyuubee

Their feelings have zero bearing on the world whatsoever. They are learning that the hard way. Why should I care?


Felho_Danger

Man, there's a lack of empathy in this thread lol. I don't like the vast, VAST majority of Christians either but yall are a bit sick for what you're saying about these people stuck in a country that's unraveling. Not all missionary work is some secret plot, they want to spread their faith WHILE doing good works. I don't like the people, but I like the works. I even like a lot of the aspects of the faith, it's just a shame that those aspects are the ones most often ignored.


MGriffinSpain

Excuse me, what? Any mind that can so easily close itself is a small one. I’m ashamed of you all.


Optimal_Zucchini_667

Sounds like their mission to go out into the world and face persecution and misfortune as promised in the Bible is being fulfilled. Are they bearing their cross as cheerfully as Paul did?


Monkeyfistbump

They just need to put their faith in Jesus. They must not be praying hard enough


Hoodlum_0017

ask gahd.


HippyDM

Lots and lots of guns makes society safer. Right?


ZenSerialKiller

Am I the only person who thought that was Elisabeth Shue in the photo?


crow13x13

Pray.


HARKONNENNRW

Start singing "Nearer, My God, to Thee" and don't forget the praying thing


beehappybutthead

Hey, maybe the rapture is happening? This is what they have been talking about their whole lives. Embrace it.


MissKayisaTherapist

Thoughts and prayers


PunkFire--Pursuit

She should tell them about how they'll burn for eternity for not listening to her. Im sure they'll understand


un_theist

“They must have lived a sinful life! God is teaching them a lesson! Everything that happens is god’s will! Can’t interfere with the rapist’s free will!” Isn’t this what they say when children are raped by their priests?


[deleted]

Duh


jinxy14

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.


deviantdevil80

I'd be less worried about the shooting and more about the cannibals in the capitol. Shootings usually quick, cooking to death not so much.


Yolandi2802

Missionaries. My destain is palpable.


Responsible_Level355

Maybe the lord will land an asteroid on these sinners. Maybe.


jamkoch

Why don't you pray? That is what you tell 5 year olds in the US.


pgriffith

Fuck 'em, if they're so sure the almighty has their back, surely that's enough.


Mich_Car_91

Why don’t they pray to god that the violence ends?


angrytwig

they really shouldn't be there. i'm tired of missionaries flooding poor countries to indoctrinate the people there. still, i hope the best for everyone there. even the missionaries. maybe they'll leave having learned a lesson.


Astral_Vastness

Time to pray.


hickgorilla

Pray!


nikkesen

Guess they didn't pray hard enough.


verninson

Womp womp


BubuBarakas

Let jeeeebus stop the bullets with his cloak of invincibility.


808morgan

Just pray harder? Is it working?


burninhell2017

All of gods plans... he works in mysterious ways. he never gives you more than you can handle. ....etc. etc.


Comfortable-Tea-1095

Thoughts and chairs 😂


Comfortable-Tea-1095

Womp womp


Traditional-Purpose2

So they can talk to the outside world and complain 😂 ok


whyyou-

Well they gotta look a bunch of good guys with guns. I’m sending them my thoughts and prayers.


SuperBaconjam

Awww… their god will save them, he’s omnipotent or some shit.


Borderlinecuttlefish

Pray harder


CapnPD

Yeah, maybe don’t go to other countries to play the great white savior.


ultrasuperhypersonic

god is in control lol


hbernadettec

I am absolutely astounded that they cannot fathom why are not welcome!


Obar-Dheathain

Guys... your god will surely protect you. Unless he wants you dead... and that's not out of the question. And if he does want you dead then why are you trying to defy god's will?


Dr_Sisyphus_22

All the more reason to just help the poor people at home. Guess that concept does sit well with the Evangelical do-gooders though.


DizzyDream7

I’ll pray for you.


SeaFaringPig

They’ll run out of bullet eventually. It is an island after all.


Life_Ad9520

Just pray and it’ll all go away lmao


RaynOfFyre1

All they need is to look to the good book. Then they should look to their Bible for inspiration from the book of Job. God’s just testing their belief in him.


Magsec5

Thank you lord


d33pinmybussy

I'm reminded of the move Starship Troopers and the fate of the Mormon Fort that ignored warnings to deploy in a warzone.


Kyruzero

I mean, I'm all for them to learn their lessons on putting it all on faith, but it's still a shitty undesirable situation to be in. I get the desire for snide remarks, but they're still people in a situation that's going very wrong.


blue_dragon_fly

I’d have more sympathy if they were there for humanitarian reasons. Coaxing people to join their religion is rotten.


Lower_Acanthaceae423

You made your bed, now lie in it


andytagonist

Good thing god is on their side.


RedSun-FanEditor

I'm sorry, but I have no pity for missionaries who continually put themselves in harms way by traveling overseas to spread the word of their god and wind up in dangerous areas where they are at risk of rape, torture, and death. I have no pity for them and they don't deserve saving.


Demon_Gamer666

Why didn't you leave before the gunfire? Boggles the mind how these people think. They are totally selfish and now expect the US to come and save them. They want others to risk their lives for them despite their knowing carelessness.


idkanymore2016

I will pray for them.


Fun_Association_2277

God works in mysterious ways….i guess.


MutableBook

Nicolas cage is making money. Bring me the gun of Rambo.


OtherwiseArrival9849

I admire people who are selfless. Since I was a child, Haiti was always in turmoil.


FindMeaning9428

Um. Let their god extract them using all his holy powers? Oh wait this is all part of his malignant PLAN, right?


slcbtm

Don't worry god will protect them. 🤣


Enblast

Comments are ruthless. I love it


Chrome_Armadillo

Where is their god now?


outlier74

It’s kind of like the South Bronx


HearingNo4103

WTF!? they should have been gone months ago. This on them, they should have ran to the embassy like the first fucking day!


AstronomerKindly8886

black hawk down 2.0