I think a lot of it depends on age and stage. So younger it would be more of a shared thing with everyone contributing, mainly because no-one has the budget to be the host for everything.
I’m older and can afford to, so I would expect to provide everything if I was hosting these days.
With a cost of living crisis, it wouldn’t surprise me that more people don’t have the budget for it.
I agree. There was definitely a time when I couldn't afford to host, like when I was a uni student, and everyone had to pitch in for pizza, byo beer and the like, but I never expected to eat and drink for free because I Hosted. I'm much more comfortable hosting and catering now that I'm older and more financially secure. But maybe it's not just an age thing, a generational thing too?
> Seemed to us we just as well stay home, eat our own food in the comfort of our own home, drink from our fridge rather than our esky and avoid having to decide who was going to drive home from such a fun occasion.
... and totally miss out on the opportunity to socialise with the family or friends who had invited you over.
Or do you visit other people *only* for the free food, and not for their company?
The only issue I see here is the hosts not giving advance notice that people are expected to bring their own food.
The no notice was the point. Would they have asked for contribution if they’d served dinner? If it’s known upfront absolutely no issue and a way to get together cheaply.
But guzzling wine provided by guests after announcing you didn’t have time (or inclination) to cater at all then asking everyone to buy their own dinner was less welcoming.
> The no notice was the point.
That was *NOT* clear from your post. No way. You buried the lede, as they say. You made it sound like you resented being asked to bring food *at all* - especially given your comment about preferring to just stay home if you have to bring your own food.
In fact, even your follow-up comments elsewhere in this thread still complain about hosts not providing you with food.
Again: that was *NOT* clear *at all*. There were a few "I"s and "us"s in your post. That made it look like you were writing about your own personal experiences and opinions.
So, who's the "us" in "seemed to **us** we just as well stay home"? Your cousin? Or you?
Even so, your follow-up comments in this thread seem to support your cousin's opinions and attitudes.
However, either way, my original point about socialising with friends still stands. Do you (or your cousin!) go to friends' houses *only* for the free food? Or do you (or your cousin!) go for the company and the socialising?
My own brother asked me for contribution to a meal he cooked. He INVITED me to dinner and then asked for payment. Like who does that and where did he learn it? Certainly not from my family (who all thought it was strange). As a guest I wouldn't bat an eyelid at bringing drinks or dessert but asking for money is just plain weird.
At big get togethers brining a "plate" to share makes sense, but not what each person will eat individually.
As for pizza or takeaway, either the host paying or asking for everyone to contribute is fine but only for casual things like a game night.
No judgement because it sounds like you are loving and generous to your friends, but please consider that you might be the ‘rich’ person in your group. What you consider a manageable expense, others may find very very taxing.
Your expectation of what constitutes hosting might even be a burden to your friends. They might not look forward to their turn to host because it is arduous and expensive. They may like your company but feel they cant compete or return the favour compared to how you host them. The inequitable nature of this could be causing them a huge and secret stress.
I would be more concerned with why your friend was too busy to cater to you. Everyone chipping in for pizza helped your friend on a day that she felt stressed. If you’re keeping tabs on the ‘good’ wine, it sounds like you’re keeping tabs on friendship so try to ease up.
Host because you enjoy it and you want to do something nice for people but don’t expect that everyone feels the same about it as you.
Not my friend. A cousin’s experience and they weren’t close
I agree though - I’d call and say the day had gone to crap and reschedule or agree a pot luck catch up I think they found swigging their nice wine and them asking them to pay for pizza irritating as they contributed nothing so wasn’t even pot luck!
You say you appreciate that costs of living are rising, but are you actually? I ask because people not wanting to host or asking for others to bring food is probably a sign that they would struggle to provide all the food and drinks, if they had to.
I host a lot in my circle, and while I am stoked when people rock up with their own food/drink, I understand that I am the one who has offered to host, not them. Our social norms, I believe, almost consider it rude to turn down too many invitations. Therefore, how can I expect people to contribute, or even host themselves, when doing so too often may set them back financially in a way that significantly impacts their savings or ability to make rent comfortably?
Read the post. Experience cited in it doesn’t quite match your question.
It’s about being upfront so people can decide if they wish to participate.
In our own friends group there’s a lot of shared catering but it’s agreed in advance. It’s about everyone being on the same page. Eg. Come over for coffee and so and so will bring the cake and the host provided the venue and the coffee. All good, not too expensive etc.
what I'm used to is:
if it's a birthday party, the host usually puts on the food, supplies alcohol to a degree but also usually u BYO
'get together': everyone brings their own food, but usually you also bring something to share
I can understand maybe bringing your own alcohol to share or just for yourself but Id never expect a guest to bring and prepare their own food as a host, whether its a bbq or nice dinner.
If invited to a dinner or bbq you'd be expecting food to be provided by the host unless a potluck arrangement was specified - however for casual hangs to watch a movie, footie, etc sending out for pizza and splitting the bill is normal
I think it just depends on the group.
With my husbands family when invited for a bbq, basically everyone brings their own meat and drinks plus a salad or dessert to share. All meat is cooked together on the bbq by one person but everyone knows what they brought so have their meat. It works well and what has always been done.
If I have a bunch of work friends coming over we tend to want to order in like Chinese but it’s all discussed before we get together at someone’s house and then we split the cost of the order. Host will normally supply soft drinks but alcohol you bring as not everyone in the group drinks. When I’m hosting the event I will add to it with like a fire pit in winter, make a cake for dessert or just something ‘extra’ for my hosting duties.
Now if I’m inviting a small get together like another family, teens friends or just 2 or 3 friends or my family, then I supply a meal and dessert with simple drinks. If someone has a diet requirement I will create the meal around that so everyone eats the same thing or options.
However if I couldn’t afford the last option then I just don’t host and only go to invites for special events from family so I don’t look like I always go and don’t repay the hosting duties - something we did maybe 10 years ago but now we are in a different financial situation and can afford to have people over for dinner from time to time.
Honestly I think they are all ok and acceptable and I wouldn’t judge as the point is to be together not eat.
I had this experience quite often when I lived in the Netherlands, and tbh I didn't mind it. Covering the entire costs for hosting can be really expensive. If sharing the costs means that I can still have these important communal moments with people then I'll happily oblige.
Ignore the people saying you might be out of touch. From what you've said they are bad hosts. Not because of the expectations they have of their guests. They are bad host because they failed to organise. I am willing to attend any event, with any arrangement of BYO (or not) food and drinks or alternative catering... but you gotta tell me first.
Sure if it's a standing "footy night" where shared take-away is the norm. Cool, same as last time? Great.
Every one-off event needs some basic organisation and a heads up on expected costs. Go to a restaurant? Specify the place, or be damn sure your group is on the same page when it comes to expenses, so everyone is aware of what a dinner out will cost. Likewise for take-away. Don't spring an Ubereats feast of individually picked meals when most people are going to expect a group feed like pizza's or curries, etc. Don't invite people to a potluck and forget to tell them it's a potluck. Don't invite people to a bbq where you BYO food and forget to tell people it's BYO food.
Your friends just suck at communication/organisation, making them the bad hosts.
I love cooking, more than what I can eat. I used to host more often in past, before all my friends left Sydney and the others had some sort of diet restriction. I don't find cooking fun when I have to accommodate for one or two people in a group when I am already spending 12 hours preparing a meal.
I'm 30 and Kiwi, so keep that in mind, but in my opinion and experience it's generally best to bring a contribution of food and your own drinks, and you're welcome to leave with anything you brought. Anything left, the host keeps.
This depends on so many factors.
If I invite people over for a dinner party. They usually ask can they bring something.
If it’s a family gathering then we all arrange to bring whatever we are good at making.
If it’s a party with a group it depends who they are - sometimes a bbq may have the host provide basics and if you want anything fancy then BYO steak.
Either your family don’t know how to host a party or there is no prior communication as to how it will work.
Either don’t go. Or speak to them about it and say look we don’t want to come as it feels like we are just going to your house and eating a picnic and leaving.
Maybe they just want to spend time with the group but can’t afford to put on a huge spread.
Who knows.
Talk to them?
We were brought up to always offer to bring something when you get the invitation and if the offer is declined - take something anyway eg packet of chips and some dip or whatever. And always make a contribution with drinks - particularly if you have a dietary requirement. If a more formal gathering, some chocolates or flowers for the host. Seems like bad manners to not at least offer.
I think the important thing is to manage expectations up front - preferably with the invite. If you know it’s BYO meat for the BBQ or drinks or whatever you can decide if you want to participate or not.
Springing it on someone after they’ve arrived is a bit rough.
If I’m going to a sit down dinner - unless the host has said it’s a potluck, I’m expecting them to provide everything and I may take some kid of host gift like a bottle of wine. If it’s a large party or group gathering I’m expecting to bring a plate - whether it be a salad or a dessert or maybe something to throw on the grill.
We tend to go to a large gathering twice a year that frequently tops 50 people plus kids. The normal practice for that is you take stuff to share and there will be a mix of people bringing sweet and savory food and contributions to the drinks crate. The people attending are from a mix of cultural and financial backgrounds - we’ve been when we struggled to pay for a pack of supermarket snags, we now pay it forward by taking extra food to cover those that may be doing it rough now. The gathering has been happening for over 25 years.
I also host brunch at home a couple of times a year for a much smaller group and would generally cater all of it.
Usually if someone asks if they can bring something I suggest a salad, but yeah - meat, bread, basic salad, some kind of vego options and enough booze to sink a ship will be on offer at ours. My in-laws are clinically fair though, we all have to contribute in some proportionate level and they'll reimburse us if they call and ask us to bring ice on the way which just makes me feel weird.
I have been known to order pizza if it's a weeknight catchup - pizza will be on me, drink what you want from ours or bring your own.
If it is family, we all do our thing, so in other words, your home you cook, please bring your booze, I don't drink so the most there is is maybe a 6 pack of Blonde in the fridge.
If it is friends, I always ask what they would like me to front up with.
Um, always contribute something.
Big dos like Christmas, family are multi racial so it is a bit of a food fest, Thai, PNG, Islander, Aussie, Maltese, it gets........complicated. I do a huge cake, cause I can.
I think this may just be the circle you normally operate in. For the past 40 something years I and others have always done BYO Grog and food. On the food side, it is typically the cut of meat, chicken, fish etc that you fancy (and not going to poison you for real or imagination) and ALSO something to share, like a coleslaw or bread or onions etc.
I’m the opposite. If I host people they always graciously ask ‘what can I bring’ and I always tell them ‘nothing, I’ve got it all planned’. I prefer to organise a menu, generally themed, and have everyone leave happily fed and watered. I don’t want them to clean up. Just show up, eat, have fun, and leave, and I always joke that I don’t want to help clean when I’m at their house either. I have two groups of friends, one respects this and one doesn’t. The group that doesn’t often show up with assorted supermarket crackers and dips, extra sides that don’t fit my theme, or extra desserts and cakes and things that kind of ruin what I had planned, and it always ends up with too much food and wastage. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate their generosity but it turns my meal into a potluck which is frustrating.
I don’t host often but if I invite people for a party or for dinner or an occasion y’all are getting fed till you can’t move and I’ll roll you to your car with probably left overs under your oxter
This all sounds stingey af if you can’t afford to host say it or call it a pot luck.
If you can't spends $15 on a pile of cheap sausages and a few loaves of bread you shouldn't be calling it a bbq. It's really not hard to throw together a shitty salad too if needed. BYO booze and any fancy items to bbq like chicken wings/burgers etc...
I agree. You don’t have to go full on MasterChef and asking others to bring stuff is fine. It’s when you ‘host’ but just provide nothing for those you are hosting seems unnecessary. Unless you have a fab house and pool perhaps.
Nah, forget this. If I invite you to my place for food and drinks, assume to get well fed and watered and shitfaced. In return, bringing a plate to share or a six pack or a bottle for your first drinks or to share (please specify) is always welcomed but not strictly necessary.
We love to host and are pretty keen on abundance / generosity. We’re having a solstice bonfire and I just told people to bring drinks. We’ll have alcohol (I’m making a big batch of vodka gimlets), but our kid doesn’t drink soft drinks, so it’s easier to just have each family bring what they’ll consume.
When we go to other people’s houses, I just ask what we can bring. We have a family we’re close to who are (god, this sounds horrible, but…) not in the same financial position as us, so if we’re going there for afternoon tea or something, I’ll pick up some fruit for the kids and something to have with a cuppa, which just adds to whatever they are providing.
Finally, we follow this Scottish tradition where we always take a bottle of something the first time we visit someone’s house, but I’d never expect a non-scot family to do that.
I guess we try to provide everything when we host but don’t expect it when we go elsewhere.
I think a lot of it depends on age and stage. So younger it would be more of a shared thing with everyone contributing, mainly because no-one has the budget to be the host for everything. I’m older and can afford to, so I would expect to provide everything if I was hosting these days. With a cost of living crisis, it wouldn’t surprise me that more people don’t have the budget for it.
I agree. There was definitely a time when I couldn't afford to host, like when I was a uni student, and everyone had to pitch in for pizza, byo beer and the like, but I never expected to eat and drink for free because I Hosted. I'm much more comfortable hosting and catering now that I'm older and more financially secure. But maybe it's not just an age thing, a generational thing too?
I know what you mean. If it’s known upfront that we are coming to yours and sending out for pizza or curry or whatever at shared cost … no issue.
> Seemed to us we just as well stay home, eat our own food in the comfort of our own home, drink from our fridge rather than our esky and avoid having to decide who was going to drive home from such a fun occasion. ... and totally miss out on the opportunity to socialise with the family or friends who had invited you over. Or do you visit other people *only* for the free food, and not for their company? The only issue I see here is the hosts not giving advance notice that people are expected to bring their own food.
The no notice was the point. Would they have asked for contribution if they’d served dinner? If it’s known upfront absolutely no issue and a way to get together cheaply. But guzzling wine provided by guests after announcing you didn’t have time (or inclination) to cater at all then asking everyone to buy their own dinner was less welcoming.
> The no notice was the point. That was *NOT* clear from your post. No way. You buried the lede, as they say. You made it sound like you resented being asked to bring food *at all* - especially given your comment about preferring to just stay home if you have to bring your own food. In fact, even your follow-up comments elsewhere in this thread still complain about hosts not providing you with food.
Actually was sharing a cousins experience Sorry if that wasn’t clear
Again: that was *NOT* clear *at all*. There were a few "I"s and "us"s in your post. That made it look like you were writing about your own personal experiences and opinions. So, who's the "us" in "seemed to **us** we just as well stay home"? Your cousin? Or you? Even so, your follow-up comments in this thread seem to support your cousin's opinions and attitudes. However, either way, my original point about socialising with friends still stands. Do you (or your cousin!) go to friends' houses *only* for the free food? Or do you (or your cousin!) go for the company and the socialising?
My own brother asked me for contribution to a meal he cooked. He INVITED me to dinner and then asked for payment. Like who does that and where did he learn it? Certainly not from my family (who all thought it was strange). As a guest I wouldn't bat an eyelid at bringing drinks or dessert but asking for money is just plain weird. At big get togethers brining a "plate" to share makes sense, but not what each person will eat individually. As for pizza or takeaway, either the host paying or asking for everyone to contribute is fine but only for casual things like a game night.
No judgement because it sounds like you are loving and generous to your friends, but please consider that you might be the ‘rich’ person in your group. What you consider a manageable expense, others may find very very taxing. Your expectation of what constitutes hosting might even be a burden to your friends. They might not look forward to their turn to host because it is arduous and expensive. They may like your company but feel they cant compete or return the favour compared to how you host them. The inequitable nature of this could be causing them a huge and secret stress. I would be more concerned with why your friend was too busy to cater to you. Everyone chipping in for pizza helped your friend on a day that she felt stressed. If you’re keeping tabs on the ‘good’ wine, it sounds like you’re keeping tabs on friendship so try to ease up. Host because you enjoy it and you want to do something nice for people but don’t expect that everyone feels the same about it as you.
Not my friend. A cousin’s experience and they weren’t close I agree though - I’d call and say the day had gone to crap and reschedule or agree a pot luck catch up I think they found swigging their nice wine and them asking them to pay for pizza irritating as they contributed nothing so wasn’t even pot luck!
You say you appreciate that costs of living are rising, but are you actually? I ask because people not wanting to host or asking for others to bring food is probably a sign that they would struggle to provide all the food and drinks, if they had to. I host a lot in my circle, and while I am stoked when people rock up with their own food/drink, I understand that I am the one who has offered to host, not them. Our social norms, I believe, almost consider it rude to turn down too many invitations. Therefore, how can I expect people to contribute, or even host themselves, when doing so too often may set them back financially in a way that significantly impacts their savings or ability to make rent comfortably?
Read the post. Experience cited in it doesn’t quite match your question. It’s about being upfront so people can decide if they wish to participate. In our own friends group there’s a lot of shared catering but it’s agreed in advance. It’s about everyone being on the same page. Eg. Come over for coffee and so and so will bring the cake and the host provided the venue and the coffee. All good, not too expensive etc.
what I'm used to is: if it's a birthday party, the host usually puts on the food, supplies alcohol to a degree but also usually u BYO 'get together': everyone brings their own food, but usually you also bring something to share
I can understand maybe bringing your own alcohol to share or just for yourself but Id never expect a guest to bring and prepare their own food as a host, whether its a bbq or nice dinner.
If invited to a dinner or bbq you'd be expecting food to be provided by the host unless a potluck arrangement was specified - however for casual hangs to watch a movie, footie, etc sending out for pizza and splitting the bill is normal
I think it just depends on the group. With my husbands family when invited for a bbq, basically everyone brings their own meat and drinks plus a salad or dessert to share. All meat is cooked together on the bbq by one person but everyone knows what they brought so have their meat. It works well and what has always been done. If I have a bunch of work friends coming over we tend to want to order in like Chinese but it’s all discussed before we get together at someone’s house and then we split the cost of the order. Host will normally supply soft drinks but alcohol you bring as not everyone in the group drinks. When I’m hosting the event I will add to it with like a fire pit in winter, make a cake for dessert or just something ‘extra’ for my hosting duties. Now if I’m inviting a small get together like another family, teens friends or just 2 or 3 friends or my family, then I supply a meal and dessert with simple drinks. If someone has a diet requirement I will create the meal around that so everyone eats the same thing or options. However if I couldn’t afford the last option then I just don’t host and only go to invites for special events from family so I don’t look like I always go and don’t repay the hosting duties - something we did maybe 10 years ago but now we are in a different financial situation and can afford to have people over for dinner from time to time. Honestly I think they are all ok and acceptable and I wouldn’t judge as the point is to be together not eat.
I had this experience quite often when I lived in the Netherlands, and tbh I didn't mind it. Covering the entire costs for hosting can be really expensive. If sharing the costs means that I can still have these important communal moments with people then I'll happily oblige.
Ignore the people saying you might be out of touch. From what you've said they are bad hosts. Not because of the expectations they have of their guests. They are bad host because they failed to organise. I am willing to attend any event, with any arrangement of BYO (or not) food and drinks or alternative catering... but you gotta tell me first. Sure if it's a standing "footy night" where shared take-away is the norm. Cool, same as last time? Great. Every one-off event needs some basic organisation and a heads up on expected costs. Go to a restaurant? Specify the place, or be damn sure your group is on the same page when it comes to expenses, so everyone is aware of what a dinner out will cost. Likewise for take-away. Don't spring an Ubereats feast of individually picked meals when most people are going to expect a group feed like pizza's or curries, etc. Don't invite people to a potluck and forget to tell them it's a potluck. Don't invite people to a bbq where you BYO food and forget to tell people it's BYO food. Your friends just suck at communication/organisation, making them the bad hosts.
Thank you. I agree
I love cooking, more than what I can eat. I used to host more often in past, before all my friends left Sydney and the others had some sort of diet restriction. I don't find cooking fun when I have to accommodate for one or two people in a group when I am already spending 12 hours preparing a meal.
I'm 30 and Kiwi, so keep that in mind, but in my opinion and experience it's generally best to bring a contribution of food and your own drinks, and you're welcome to leave with anything you brought. Anything left, the host keeps.
This depends on so many factors. If I invite people over for a dinner party. They usually ask can they bring something. If it’s a family gathering then we all arrange to bring whatever we are good at making. If it’s a party with a group it depends who they are - sometimes a bbq may have the host provide basics and if you want anything fancy then BYO steak. Either your family don’t know how to host a party or there is no prior communication as to how it will work. Either don’t go. Or speak to them about it and say look we don’t want to come as it feels like we are just going to your house and eating a picnic and leaving. Maybe they just want to spend time with the group but can’t afford to put on a huge spread. Who knows. Talk to them?
We were brought up to always offer to bring something when you get the invitation and if the offer is declined - take something anyway eg packet of chips and some dip or whatever. And always make a contribution with drinks - particularly if you have a dietary requirement. If a more formal gathering, some chocolates or flowers for the host. Seems like bad manners to not at least offer.
Older Millennial here, it's weird to expect the host to cater. Even at Christmas you always bring a plate and BYO drinks at the least.
Not suggesting tthat guests don’t contribute. Suggesting that hosts don’t contribute anything is odd (imo)
I think the important thing is to manage expectations up front - preferably with the invite. If you know it’s BYO meat for the BBQ or drinks or whatever you can decide if you want to participate or not. Springing it on someone after they’ve arrived is a bit rough. If I’m going to a sit down dinner - unless the host has said it’s a potluck, I’m expecting them to provide everything and I may take some kid of host gift like a bottle of wine. If it’s a large party or group gathering I’m expecting to bring a plate - whether it be a salad or a dessert or maybe something to throw on the grill. We tend to go to a large gathering twice a year that frequently tops 50 people plus kids. The normal practice for that is you take stuff to share and there will be a mix of people bringing sweet and savory food and contributions to the drinks crate. The people attending are from a mix of cultural and financial backgrounds - we’ve been when we struggled to pay for a pack of supermarket snags, we now pay it forward by taking extra food to cover those that may be doing it rough now. The gathering has been happening for over 25 years. I also host brunch at home a couple of times a year for a much smaller group and would generally cater all of it.
Agree
Usually if someone asks if they can bring something I suggest a salad, but yeah - meat, bread, basic salad, some kind of vego options and enough booze to sink a ship will be on offer at ours. My in-laws are clinically fair though, we all have to contribute in some proportionate level and they'll reimburse us if they call and ask us to bring ice on the way which just makes me feel weird. I have been known to order pizza if it's a weeknight catchup - pizza will be on me, drink what you want from ours or bring your own.
If it is family, we all do our thing, so in other words, your home you cook, please bring your booze, I don't drink so the most there is is maybe a 6 pack of Blonde in the fridge. If it is friends, I always ask what they would like me to front up with. Um, always contribute something. Big dos like Christmas, family are multi racial so it is a bit of a food fest, Thai, PNG, Islander, Aussie, Maltese, it gets........complicated. I do a huge cake, cause I can.
We host visitors and friends (in Sydney) quite regularly.
I think this may just be the circle you normally operate in. For the past 40 something years I and others have always done BYO Grog and food. On the food side, it is typically the cut of meat, chicken, fish etc that you fancy (and not going to poison you for real or imagination) and ALSO something to share, like a coleslaw or bread or onions etc.
I’m the opposite. If I host people they always graciously ask ‘what can I bring’ and I always tell them ‘nothing, I’ve got it all planned’. I prefer to organise a menu, generally themed, and have everyone leave happily fed and watered. I don’t want them to clean up. Just show up, eat, have fun, and leave, and I always joke that I don’t want to help clean when I’m at their house either. I have two groups of friends, one respects this and one doesn’t. The group that doesn’t often show up with assorted supermarket crackers and dips, extra sides that don’t fit my theme, or extra desserts and cakes and things that kind of ruin what I had planned, and it always ends up with too much food and wastage. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate their generosity but it turns my meal into a potluck which is frustrating.
I don’t host often but if I invite people for a party or for dinner or an occasion y’all are getting fed till you can’t move and I’ll roll you to your car with probably left overs under your oxter This all sounds stingey af if you can’t afford to host say it or call it a pot luck.
I'm not coming if you're going to refer to us as y'all.
*Youse guys
Fine. Youse.
If you can't spends $15 on a pile of cheap sausages and a few loaves of bread you shouldn't be calling it a bbq. It's really not hard to throw together a shitty salad too if needed. BYO booze and any fancy items to bbq like chicken wings/burgers etc...
I agree. You don’t have to go full on MasterChef and asking others to bring stuff is fine. It’s when you ‘host’ but just provide nothing for those you are hosting seems unnecessary. Unless you have a fab house and pool perhaps.
Nah, forget this. If I invite you to my place for food and drinks, assume to get well fed and watered and shitfaced. In return, bringing a plate to share or a six pack or a bottle for your first drinks or to share (please specify) is always welcomed but not strictly necessary.
How do I get an invite to yours? Joking! Man I would always bring something! Usually bring enough booze for myself and to share if I'm not hosting.
Next thing you know it'll be "Darl,we better take our own BBQ, remember Bob and Shelia asked for gas money last time". Edit: This is meant as a joke.
🤣
We love to host and are pretty keen on abundance / generosity. We’re having a solstice bonfire and I just told people to bring drinks. We’ll have alcohol (I’m making a big batch of vodka gimlets), but our kid doesn’t drink soft drinks, so it’s easier to just have each family bring what they’ll consume. When we go to other people’s houses, I just ask what we can bring. We have a family we’re close to who are (god, this sounds horrible, but…) not in the same financial position as us, so if we’re going there for afternoon tea or something, I’ll pick up some fruit for the kids and something to have with a cuppa, which just adds to whatever they are providing. Finally, we follow this Scottish tradition where we always take a bottle of something the first time we visit someone’s house, but I’d never expect a non-scot family to do that. I guess we try to provide everything when we host but don’t expect it when we go elsewhere.
I dunno