Haha I've done this too, we had a hen party group asking for me to make the "grossest cocktail" possible for their friend. For perspective, we were COMPLETELY FUCKING SLAMMED and there was no way I was going to spend 5 minutes crafting a shit drink. Add to that that there's no possible way to tally it up on the tills, and it's just not happening.
I said, "Order a real drink or make room at the bar, we don't have time for this, and there are loads of people waiting." They weren't happy but fuck them, we were in the weeds.
Any other time, I would have done it, but not on such a busy night.
This reminds me of another one I hate, sugar free cocktails. “Can you make the special sugar free?” I can but I guarantee you’re not gonna like it. “Can I do it anyways?” Sure.
Sure as shit everytime, they don’t like it
One chick ordered a virgin margarita with no extra sugar and I told her that would literally just be our lime juice and she insisted that’s what she wanted. Took one sip and asked for a side car of simple syrup.
Is the Mango Pineapple Margarita sweet? It sounds good, but I don’t like it too sweet…
Bro, if that sounds good to you, you DO like sweet. And that’s ok.
“I like Manhattans” (or whatever) tells me they like not-sweet drinks.
“Can I have a not sweet cocktail?” tells me they probably do like sweet, as long as it’s not full on syrupy.
Skinny margs, 9 times out of 10 "oooh this is tart can you make it sweeter?" Do you even know what a skinny marg is or did you hear someone say it and turn into a fucking parrot?
Ordering “skinny” margaritas makes them feel less guilty about the 5 margaritas they’re about to consume. Same thing with Diet Coke drinkers who drink 5+ sodas with one meal.
Really any drink like this. So many times someone will say “can you do this but without sugar” I tell them ok but it’s going to be really tart and unbalanced, they say it’s fine, then they get the drink and tell me how tart it is.
A Four Horseman.
I fucking hate making a 4 horseman. Probably more than making any mixed drink.
It’s absolutely pointless, and I get to pull down 4 bottles to make a shitty shot that makes absolutely no sense.
If you throw it on a big rock and give it a quick stir it's not a bad glass of whiskey. It's like taking 4 decent whiskies and making a slightly better blend from them
Edit: spelling
I looked it up, and it seems that it can be done both ways. I saw an old thread on the sub that had a pretty racist name for the 4 horsemen that subbed johnnie for José, and there seemed to be arguments in the comments about the correct way to serve it
Personally, I think it makes zero sense to have a four horsemen cocktail be three whiskeys and a tequila. If you were going to make it a whiskey, a tequila, a vodka, and a rum? That’s just a worse LIT, but at least having one of each main spirit makes more sense to me. But having it be 3 + 1? I don’t know any history about the cocktail so maybe I’m missing something, but that makes no sense to me
I don’t know why because they are pretty simple but lemon drops. I don’t do any of the sugar or lemon shit. But it’s like, why can’t you just order a vodka lemonade instead of making me shake 8 pointless shooters??? This goes for most shooters actually. Just order it as a drink and everyone wins ~~because I overpour~~
I have a regular who orders lemon drop martinis, but hold the sugar and make it with hendricks please! .... and then it goes in a bucket glass so it fits the cupholder at the blackjack table.
I get its simple, but it makes my eye twitch every time the order comes through
Last night I spent 10 minutes explaining what vodka is, how it is made, and why it is pretty much all the same stuff with different labels to someone who told me they were allergic to “bottom shelf” just to annoy them. Still got tipped.
allergic to bottom shelf HA. Like what? The only reason I can think someone might be allergic to any vodka is if it wasn’t gluten free but otherwise it’s like…..it’s all the same
All distilled liquors are gluten free. A few liqueurs have gluten products added after distillation, but the process of distillation removes gluten from alcohol. Vodka products that advertise this are just capitalizing on consumers ignorance. It’s like selling a bottle of honey and then advertising that the bottle contains honey.
One of my favorite regulars says she's allergic to vodka but loves gin and rum. Her go to is a well "dry gin martini." She has no idea why mine are the best. 😭
I used to work at a chain bar/restaurant that did a deal on LIT pitchers. It was the fucking worst. Garbage people getting obliterated after two drinks and tipping like shit.
Egg white anything during a rush, and they only get ordered during a rush. Mojitos too, you make one and 20 more get ordered, then I have to spend an extra 10 minutes scraping mint bits off of shit during my close because management's idea of helping is making service tickets AND the biggest fucking mess they can in the process.
I know this one might be petty but the first thing in my mind is the echos of a thousand boomers throughout the years saying "white wine" or "red wine" very matter-of-factly when I ask them what they're having. And they somehow all manage to say it with this attitude of like "this is exactly how you order a glass of wine and as usual I am the smartest person in the room and you're welcome for the 17% tip you're about to graciously receive".
Demanding free shit (birthday shots). "Fun shots." Or my all-time favorite, " I want something strong, but not too sweet, and I don't want to taste the alcohol" 🫠
In no particular order....
Espresso Martinis....especially when it's busy. One goes out, and all of a sudden 50 people start ordering them.
When someone requests " this drink I had at some cocktail bar one time" , but doesn't know what the ingredients are.
"What's good here?"
Mojitos/ Virgin Mojitos
"Something "FUN"
I also hate espresso martinis, but more so I hate Irish coffee ☹️ I hated making those more because we had to hand-shake the cream. I would take the coils off a strainer and put it in the shaker to speed things up….
I hate it when someone requests for a salt/ sugar rim and then they ask me for a straw and don’t taste the salt/ sugar when they drink. I know it doesn’t take a lot of time but I just wasted extra time putting a rim on your glass and now I’m gonna take extra time washing it too.
The people who come in wanting a Nude/Nutrl/White Claw... but don't understand that if I squeeze some fruit into their vodka soda it's going to be the EXACT SAME THING. So they grab a beer/cider/vodka cranberry instead.
Anytime anyone says “just make me whatever, I trust you” cuz they wanna feel special but wanna act like they’re easy and fun and now all the pressure is on me to make something that’s “interesting.” And then after they finish they’ll be like “that was good but I think I’ll just do my usual Pinot”
They probably think gin tastes like pine, rum is too sweet, they only drink gluten free vodka, and "I can't touch tequila after that Miami trip" but they'll be more than happy to order all of it mixed up.
I get lost making top shelf long islands lmao. if it's the standard, the liquors are beside each other in a row in the well. for top shelf, I'm like uhhh did I put vodka in it yet? my attention span is not great lol
Same lol! Like I’m literally walking halfway across the bar for certain things. Our dive bar is set up weird so some “top shelf”stuff is in the well, but others are across the bar stacked for display and it’s very annoying
Bloody Mary's with all the fixins... after 6PM. Like... just do a quick vodka/tabasco/lime shot. It's tasty & will satisfy the urge without all that sodium. Maybe it's just me.
Frozen Cadillac Margarita
It's going in a blender and is going to lose all flavor except the lime. Why bother with Cointreau instead of triple sec and a nicer tequila if you're just going to make it a lime slushee?
Beers that aren’t on the menu even after I told you all the beers we have. And the owner still won’t make a beer menu instead we have this fucking 6 pack holder with each of the beers
the bar I work at also doesn’t have a menu bc it’s just a shitty little dive bar but we have like 3 fridges FULL of beer, and it’s always dark in the bar so if someone comes in who’s never been there before, they ask what we have and I tell them I have a flashlight.
It’s fun because they either don’t want to use a flashlight and decide to just order something (we most likely have what they want), or they use the flashlight and all the regulars watch knowing that this person has never been there before
I'm still trying to figure out what you mean by LIT but I hate
"Surprise me" when they have no idea what they like or don't like, especially when they're busy.
Love it when I have time and they tell me what they're looking for tho
I gave someone a top shelf Long Island tonight because fuck it why not? Long islands are good and they taste even better with non-well bottles. Especially cus I work an open bar, they don’t gotta pay anything, why the fuck not? They didn’t even ask, i just did it. They didn’t have any complaint but I’m also sure they didn’t notice.
Mojitos when it’s busy as shit or 8 different shots for all the chads on spring break
At a job I didn't care about keeping I told a group of 8 ordering 8 different shots to pick 2 or get fucked. That felt good.
Did you keep the job?
Yes. But I don't think it ever got back to the boss, so it's not that cool of a story.
Haha I've done this too, we had a hen party group asking for me to make the "grossest cocktail" possible for their friend. For perspective, we were COMPLETELY FUCKING SLAMMED and there was no way I was going to spend 5 minutes crafting a shit drink. Add to that that there's no possible way to tally it up on the tills, and it's just not happening. I said, "Order a real drink or make room at the bar, we don't have time for this, and there are loads of people waiting." They weren't happy but fuck them, we were in the weeds. Any other time, I would have done it, but not on such a busy night.
Sorry, we just ran out of mint...
.... Three years ago
We do not muddle in this house.
If I'm busy and they aren't regulars no way in hell I'm making 8 different Chad shots. 4 green teas 4 white teas it is...
I had one table running a mojito train on me my whole shift and the mint delivery this week was one step up from hot garbage. *shudder*
"Can you make a not sweet cocktail?" *Make drink* "This is too bitter." *Make sweet drink* "This is perfect."
This reminds me of another one I hate, sugar free cocktails. “Can you make the special sugar free?” I can but I guarantee you’re not gonna like it. “Can I do it anyways?” Sure. Sure as shit everytime, they don’t like it
One chick ordered a virgin margarita with no extra sugar and I told her that would literally just be our lime juice and she insisted that’s what she wanted. Took one sip and asked for a side car of simple syrup.
Is the Mango Pineapple Margarita sweet? It sounds good, but I don’t like it too sweet… Bro, if that sounds good to you, you DO like sweet. And that’s ok.
I find that most of the times when not experienced drinkers say they don’t like sweet drinks, they want a sour that’s on the slightly sweet side.
“I like Manhattans” (or whatever) tells me they like not-sweet drinks. “Can I have a not sweet cocktail?” tells me they probably do like sweet, as long as it’s not full on syrupy.
Yeah there’s a difference between added sugar sweet and fruit juice sweet. Shit even honey sweet is different from those.
Skinny margs, 9 times out of 10 "oooh this is tart can you make it sweeter?" Do you even know what a skinny marg is or did you hear someone say it and turn into a fucking parrot?
Ordering “skinny” margaritas makes them feel less guilty about the 5 margaritas they’re about to consume. Same thing with Diet Coke drinkers who drink 5+ sodas with one meal.
Really any drink like this. So many times someone will say “can you do this but without sugar” I tell them ok but it’s going to be really tart and unbalanced, they say it’s fine, then they get the drink and tell me how tart it is.
A Four Horseman. I fucking hate making a 4 horseman. Probably more than making any mixed drink. It’s absolutely pointless, and I get to pull down 4 bottles to make a shitty shot that makes absolutely no sense.
The only time I’ve ever actually served one, the guy immediately threw it up all over the bartop. Never again.
That guy just doesn't know how to shoot whiskey, period.
Sorry, riders only get one horse at a time from this stable, cowboy. Which ya want?
Never heard of it! What is it
Jim, Jack, johnnie, and jamie
Jamo* you uncouth savage
In Ireland it's Jamie.
Well, the name makes sense now
If you throw it on a big rock and give it a quick stir it's not a bad glass of whiskey. It's like taking 4 decent whiskies and making a slightly better blend from them Edit: spelling
Sounds... Pleasant
Wait it’s all in one shot though? I thought you should do it with 3 of your best bros
I thought it was José?
I looked it up, and it seems that it can be done both ways. I saw an old thread on the sub that had a pretty racist name for the 4 horsemen that subbed johnnie for José, and there seemed to be arguments in the comments about the correct way to serve it Personally, I think it makes zero sense to have a four horsemen cocktail be three whiskeys and a tequila. If you were going to make it a whiskey, a tequila, a vodka, and a rum? That’s just a worse LIT, but at least having one of each main spirit makes more sense to me. But having it be 3 + 1? I don’t know any history about the cocktail so maybe I’m missing something, but that makes no sense to me
It makes zero sense to put 4 into one shot anyway. An LIT is 5. In the US, José is better know than James.
When I’m busy and people order a round of four or more Irish car bombs. Idk maybe I’m a prissy bitch but fuck you lol
No this is valid lol
Our Burning man camp has an annual playa wide party where we make over 1000 Irish car bombs. Fuck I am sticky mess after that event !
Nothing sounds less appealing to me then smashing an ICB in the middle of the desert. But to each their own
This just made me nauseous
Absolutely not
I don’t know why because they are pretty simple but lemon drops. I don’t do any of the sugar or lemon shit. But it’s like, why can’t you just order a vodka lemonade instead of making me shake 8 pointless shooters??? This goes for most shooters actually. Just order it as a drink and everyone wins ~~because I overpour~~
What does it have if it has no lemon, no sugar, and only vodka though🤔
I think they mean the garnish of a sugared lemon wedge.
Lemon drop? I think you mean vodka lemonade with triple sec
I have a regular who orders lemon drop martinis, but hold the sugar and make it with hendricks please! .... and then it goes in a bucket glass so it fits the cupholder at the blackjack table. I get its simple, but it makes my eye twitch every time the order comes through
I sell so many I batch them. Only twice in 2 years have sugared lemons been requested.
Last night I spent 10 minutes explaining what vodka is, how it is made, and why it is pretty much all the same stuff with different labels to someone who told me they were allergic to “bottom shelf” just to annoy them. Still got tipped.
allergic to bottom shelf HA. Like what? The only reason I can think someone might be allergic to any vodka is if it wasn’t gluten free but otherwise it’s like…..it’s all the same
All distilled liquors are gluten free. A few liqueurs have gluten products added after distillation, but the process of distillation removes gluten from alcohol. Vodka products that advertise this are just capitalizing on consumers ignorance. It’s like selling a bottle of honey and then advertising that the bottle contains honey.
Well there ya go I wasn’t even right about that and that’s the only thing I could think of lol. Some people
Asbestos Free!
THIS
One of my favorite regulars says she's allergic to vodka but loves gin and rum. Her go to is a well "dry gin martini." She has no idea why mine are the best. 😭
Bottom shelf tends to have additives…
rEd BuLl GrEy GoOsE 😵💫 okay dumbass that'll be $15 for the same taste as a well vodka redbull for half the price
When people order coffee at 10pm in a Saturday... Like no I'm not making a fkn latte while the bar is 4 people deep
A high chair.
Not in my bar!
Used to be mind erasers, at this juncture it’s just LIT or AMF on general principles. Bad drinks for bad people.
I used to work at a chain bar/restaurant that did a deal on LIT pitchers. It was the fucking worst. Garbage people getting obliterated after two drinks and tipping like shit.
Egg white anything during a rush, and they only get ordered during a rush. Mojitos too, you make one and 20 more get ordered, then I have to spend an extra 10 minutes scraping mint bits off of shit during my close because management's idea of helping is making service tickets AND the biggest fucking mess they can in the process.
Absolutely this and layered Irish coffees. Someone orders one , others see and I get a bunch more in the next 5 minutes and then I'm backed up 🙄
Charge them $20
Should cost way more than $20 for top shelf.
Top shelf LIT at my spot is $$$, way more than $20.
Yea I have no problem w a top shelf LIIT, just make em pay at the register
20 dollars is my regular liit
Bay and sea breezes. I always forget which one is which and both are gross IMO. Especially with Malibu 🤮
Sea is salty. Salt goes around the rim of a salty dog. Salty dog has grapefruit. After a while you just remember sea=grapefruit
Sea = Vitamin C for citrus = grapefruit. Pineapple Bay sounds like an actual name.
Pineapple by the bay
Mojitos and Caesars. My soul dies a little every time I make one. Now that I've written this I'm gonna get absolutely loaded with them after my break
Honestly sell them all the top shelf and get that 20% on it. Also fuck lemon drops.
I know this one might be petty but the first thing in my mind is the echos of a thousand boomers throughout the years saying "white wine" or "red wine" very matter-of-factly when I ask them what they're having. And they somehow all manage to say it with this attitude of like "this is exactly how you order a glass of wine and as usual I am the smartest person in the room and you're welcome for the 17% tip you're about to graciously receive".
"put it in a manly glass"
Yeah I find it so ridiculous tying your gender to a glass or not drinking a cocktail because it’s a certain color.
Anything that needs a blender. Ironically, it's *always* broken
Demanding free shit (birthday shots). "Fun shots." Or my all-time favorite, " I want something strong, but not too sweet, and I don't want to taste the alcohol" 🫠
"Is your wine smooth? I only like smooth wine "
GRIPPY
What the fuck is a smooth wine?💀
In no particular order.... Espresso Martinis....especially when it's busy. One goes out, and all of a sudden 50 people start ordering them. When someone requests " this drink I had at some cocktail bar one time" , but doesn't know what the ingredients are. "What's good here?" Mojitos/ Virgin Mojitos "Something "FUN"
I also hate espresso martinis, but more so I hate Irish coffee ☹️ I hated making those more because we had to hand-shake the cream. I would take the coils off a strainer and put it in the shaker to speed things up….
As a bartender, this is my favorite drink to drink so i always feel bad when ordering it everywhere i go lmao.
I hate it when someone requests for a salt/ sugar rim and then they ask me for a straw and don’t taste the salt/ sugar when they drink. I know it doesn’t take a lot of time but I just wasted extra time putting a rim on your glass and now I’m gonna take extra time washing it too.
The people who come in wanting a Nude/Nutrl/White Claw... but don't understand that if I squeeze some fruit into their vodka soda it's going to be the EXACT SAME THING. So they grab a beer/cider/vodka cranberry instead.
Anytime anyone says “just make me whatever, I trust you” cuz they wanna feel special but wanna act like they’re easy and fun and now all the pressure is on me to make something that’s “interesting.” And then after they finish they’ll be like “that was good but I think I’ll just do my usual Pinot”
Every time someone asks me to surprise them at the bar, they get a *SURPRISE!!* pbr.
LIT are already so, so gross. Why pay extra money for them? I feel like the people who order top shelf ones are amateurs.
Can you change the channel?
I hate this one especially because they always want a specific channel but don’t actually know what it is so I’m stuck scrolling forever
They probably think gin tastes like pine, rum is too sweet, they only drink gluten free vodka, and "I can't touch tequila after that Miami trip" but they'll be more than happy to order all of it mixed up.
I get lost making top shelf long islands lmao. if it's the standard, the liquors are beside each other in a row in the well. for top shelf, I'm like uhhh did I put vodka in it yet? my attention span is not great lol
Same lol! Like I’m literally walking halfway across the bar for certain things. Our dive bar is set up weird so some “top shelf”stuff is in the well, but others are across the bar stacked for display and it’s very annoying
Do you have espresso martinis? No.
Bloody Mary's with all the fixins... after 6PM. Like... just do a quick vodka/tabasco/lime shot. It's tasty & will satisfy the urge without all that sodium. Maybe it's just me.
Long Islands at my current spot are fucking 18 touches. (BERG)
Frozen Cadillac Margarita It's going in a blender and is going to lose all flavor except the lime. Why bother with Cointreau instead of triple sec and a nicer tequila if you're just going to make it a lime slushee?
Beers that aren’t on the menu even after I told you all the beers we have. And the owner still won’t make a beer menu instead we have this fucking 6 pack holder with each of the beers
the bar I work at also doesn’t have a menu bc it’s just a shitty little dive bar but we have like 3 fridges FULL of beer, and it’s always dark in the bar so if someone comes in who’s never been there before, they ask what we have and I tell them I have a flashlight. It’s fun because they either don’t want to use a flashlight and decide to just order something (we most likely have what they want), or they use the flashlight and all the regulars watch knowing that this person has never been there before
I want to try hers first to see if I like it and then I'll order 🙄
Baby Guinness on a Saturday night when we're 8 deep at the bar
That'll be $150, please.
“What do YOU like on the menu?”
I'm still trying to figure out what you mean by LIT but I hate "Surprise me" when they have no idea what they like or don't like, especially when they're busy. Love it when I have time and they tell me what they're looking for tho
Long Island ice tea
Doi should have got that. I've been it bars that actually have a "top shelf LIT" on their craft cocktail list
I have a fun fact. One of my best friends made a top shelf Long Island for walka floka. That is apparently his drink of choice lmao
Yknow…I can see this, 1000%
Chocotini
I gave someone a top shelf Long Island tonight because fuck it why not? Long islands are good and they taste even better with non-well bottles. Especially cus I work an open bar, they don’t gotta pay anything, why the fuck not? They didn’t even ask, i just did it. They didn’t have any complaint but I’m also sure they didn’t notice.
I find properly made LITs to taste quite pleasant.