No one is really providing good advice and they're kind of shaming the parents. It's a little sad, but I recommend lots of snuggles because they are very much people dogs.
I typically board our girl for trips (because regardless of what others say ppl do travel for work and do take vacations, that's life). She's happy to play with the other dogs there, so if that's an option for the owners in the future, I would maybe recommend a reputable place. However, I am aware that's not always an option.
You're doing your best, and sounds like doing a good job. He will bounce back when his people come home.
Number one advice to you is to calm yourself! My Berners feed off my energy. We take them to a lady’s house for “boarding” and they do very well there since she is a stay at home mom and mine are used to me working from home. But the first stay didn’t go well because I was a nervous wreck and the dogs sensed that at drop off! The next few times when I was calmer the dogs were calmer. Also… I wouldn’t wait til August I would do some trial days NOW to get your boy used to it. Having a dog go back to a place he has been to before and knows you will come back for him makes a BIG DIFFERENCE!
Noted!! Thank you! we’re taking him to the farm he was bred on and he has been there a few times after for shots, do you still think we should take him back for more familiarization?
Yes!! Berners are just so much more sensitive than other breeds… I guess I am a bad person because I go on vacations but I do everything I can to make sure mine are comfortable with the people/other dogs/places as much as possible! I think a lot of that comes from trial and error seeing how hat works and how.
We've boarded Bennet a few times and have checked in on the puppy cam they have and he's happy as can be with the daycare dogs and generally just zonks out when he's back in his space. I wouldn't worry about it
I agree with this. This may be the family’s first time traveling away from this baby, and just made a bad call on care. It might be beneficial for them to be made aware of how he reacted.
We also board ours at the same place he goes to daycare for socialization. The first time we picked him up he looked so relieved that we had come back. We increased the daycare sessions so he got more acclimated and built a relationship with the staff and made some doggy friends. Today we picked him up after having to board him for a few days, and he came bounding out, so happy and excited. He went from snuggling me, to my husband, to the main caretaker there, who he obviously adores.
It was like he was saying “mom!mom! Guess what I’ve been doing? I’ve been playing with dogs for days!”
The more we bring him there and he knows we always come back, the more he can relax and just enjoy the playtime.
I wouldn’t say they made a bad call on care. I think they were very responsible getting someone who could come multiple times a day and spend a couple hours with him. Sure, ideally he could stay with a friend he knows well, but not everyone has that option.
As far as boarding at a kennel, I don’t think it would be a better option than staying in his own home. He’d most likely be just as depressed there, and he’d get less attention than he is now.
I think everyone is doing the best they can in the situation and I applaud OP for that. As for tips for next time, the only thing I can think of is maybe see if they’d hire you as a regular so 1. you have a chance to bond with him if they ever need to go out of town again and 2. So he doesn’t automatically assume his world is ending when he sees you coming around
Wonderful reply! This dog's family is lucky to have such a caring pet sitter - it's hard to find people who care. Not everyone has family and friends who are able/want to care for our needy bears.
It's not something people think about, but this is a good reminder that boarding/pet sitters should be part of the training we do with our dogs because you never know when they need might arise even if you aren't the traveling type! The first time out might be tough, but they do get used to it. Even parents of human babies eventually need to leave their kids. I hope that if the owners see this, they don't feel shamed but supported by this community.
Your dog is used to it, and so is mine. From an early age, they've gone through temporary changes, and their humans have come back, and it's become part of life. May not be ideal but it's not a huge trauma.
This poor boy has never gone through this apparently. That's the main concern here. Lots of separation anxiety.
I would advise all Bernese parents to build that pattern from an early age, so the dog is comfortable when it has to happen.
Never being away from his people was not stated in the post. She said she wasn't sure. Either way, I was actually trying to give advice and be helpful rather than to shame...
It is so heart breaking to leave a Berner because like they are SO attached to their people. We have this issue with our girl and she goes on hunger strikes. We can take her to my mother in laws across the road who she loves (We have a nice farm on a dead end road with 2 year round neighbors). She will come over and sit on our stoop waiting for us. We also can't crate her and fky with her because she would lose her shit. You just really end up feeling like the worst person in the world.
He misses his people, plain and simple. Other breeds miss their owners as much or more. The question is have the parents given him the tools to deal with some separations? You are coming by three times a day to give him the needed attention.
You cannot take the place of his people, but you can make some part of his day better. He is a dog, they sleep most of the day, but he is lonely. I would put a feather in your hat and call it a success that he looks forward to your visits and begs for pets.
And for those shaming the parents remember the phrase "people in glass houses should not throw stone". Everyone has a unique situation and without all the information how can you condemn others for their actions if only because they differ from yours?
I'm currently away from my guy for a short trip and stressed out for him. He's well watched and being taken care of but that feeling of not being there is still pervasive.
we left yesterday for a week. My sister is staying at my house to watch Him. He currently is only eating treats and cheese. She has to drag him or lure him outside and He isn’t drinking much. We have to go 1 time a year without him and this is the best solution. But he is a hot mess
You have to be able to leave. They will survive
We use three different sitters from rover but always have someone staying overnight with our girl, and she’s usually only solo for 4-5 hours a day which she is fine with. One of our sitters brings her kids over to play with her and Maple LOVES them. Each dog is different but Berners are true Velcro dogs and are happiest with their owners or friendly familiar people to give them lots of cuddles and play time.
If his owners are coming home tomorrow evening, he will be fine. Everything will be right again in his world. The panting is possibly from stress. I think you’re doing a great job, doing everything you can to make him more comfortable- but also keeping him safe from the heat, too! Give him a big hug for me! ❤️
They are such sociable dogs, mine panics when he sees a suitcase come out. Luckily I have a brother he loves to spend time with, so it’s like a vacation for him too. They really are an emotional, loyal and loving breed. I just wish they had better health and lived longer. My berner is 5 and I dread the day I have to say goodbye.
He is stressed. We boarded ours with a lady and her family. He slept in bed with them and everything. That really helped but that breed is like Velcro they need their people.
This is probably too late but did they leave clothes with their scent that could be used to soothe him? I would also say other than that you seem to be doing all you can with the allotted time you have.
all I can think of is - imagine as a human, you were only allowed to go to the restroom three times a day? that would be miserable!
with the owners permission I would consider hemp calming treats? just to help him find some relief from being so stressed. other than that, there’s not much you can do. he just misses his people.
We always get someone to stay overnight as well as spend a lot of time during the day. I can’t imagine how stressful it would be for them to be alone all night long and most of the day. But we both work from home, so ours is used to someone around constantly.
OP you sound excellent at what you do, any pup in your care is lucky to have you. You really went above and beyond.
That said, Berners are very needy, there's not much more you could do besides stay there 24/7.
Tell the owners what happened, and for a next trip away they should consider a boarding kennel vs staying at home. I'm pretty sure the owners thought pupper would he happier in a known environment but they really are better off around others at all times, even other dogs.
I’ve looked after a Berner for a few weeks. Things I think helped it go well. 1) The dog stayed with me, so there was somebody there most of the time. 2) I had taken the dog out on several walks, just me and doggo before. Bond established. 3) Setting boundaries. I was the boss, not somebody running around trying to keep them happy. 4) A routine. Even if it is not their normal routine. Having said all that, doggo was clingy until their owner turned up, when I was demoted to no. 2 in their life in seconds 😢😢😢
Whenever I travel and can’t bring my 5 year old Berner, she goes to stay with one of my old roommates. She loves them to death, and one of them is moving back to the neighborhood, so she’ll be able to go see him and his cat.
I would talk to the owners and see if they plan to use you in the future to let you come over every now and again to see the dog and become more familiar to the dog. They love people and grow very easily attached, so working on familiarity, even if you aren’t their person helps.
You should definitely be able to leave your dog at home alone during the day with occasional check ins. Berners are very co dependent which makes that hard. We’ve done a terrible job getting ours used to being home alone due to working from home. I think even a berner that gets “used” to being left at home is still going to be somewhat anxious. It’s what you sign up for with the breed. It can be trained but it will be an uphill battle.
Some dogs need more effort in the obedience category, Berners need it in combatting their separation anxiety.
All that said, I would never leave a berner home alone all night (or really any dog). I don’t think there’s any amount of training that will make them comfortable with that.
u/EdenAshe - you’re in a bit of a bind as other commentators have pointed out, they’re their-people dogs.
We’ve had to leave our Berner for a couple of extended periods of time (traveling overseas).
Each time we’ve had someone stay out at our house who our berner knows really well, so although I’m sure he misses us, they’re not “shocked” by us not being around.
For day trips away we crate him - he’s been crate trained from the start and he actively likes going in as it’s both his safe place, and he knows we’re going to come back.
If the family need you to look after their Berner again, I’d suggest making it a prerequisite that they have the Berner regularly come over to your house before hand. You obviously know what you’re doing and are setting up success - treating hunting, cuddles, toys etc.
Every berner is a little different. Our one hates kennels - won’t sleep or eat. So we always board with a home sitter or if we’re away, with a family. We’ve used the same local family-boarder for a couple of years now, ours sleeps in their daughter’s closet! But if it’s a new one, it is hard on him for a couple of hours but then he settles in (we’re told afterward). But when he sees us, he bounds up to us and jumps / complete yeet into our car to leave.
Similar to commenters - I also have a Berner and if we have to ever leave him for extended days, we either bring him to a Kennel he absolutely loves, or my in-laws who he also loves lol We get lots of pictures and videos and he does not even think about us when there - he always looks like he is having the time of his life 🤣🤣 They definitely need constant attention and affection which is why I think drop-ins are not really appropriate for this breed.
There's not much to do except hang out more often if that's possible because some Berners are aloof. I'd suggest to the family that they use you from walks and hangouts more often when they're home, so you're associated with feelings of extra fun and friendliness, instead of sad feelings of abandonment.
It's what we did with my Berner with a family friend. When we had to go for a 2 wk trip out of country, all of us hung out a lot beforehand at home, dog parks, breweries, etc. so our friend would become *his* friend.
Being alone in the house with no family is hell for these dogs. Especially for 7 days. They have to have humans present. It's no wonder he's miserable. I would definitely tell them for their next trip to put him with people. Poor guy. Don't know why some of these dogs have nearly human emotions and very powerful emotions and attachment to their owners.
Aww poor bub! I've had good experiences with Adaptil spray helping my dogs settle a bit (used for crate training as baby puppies, in crates at shows and when traveling) so that could be something you could try. Maybe some supervised snuggle time with a clothing item or blanket that smells like his people? I'd be hesitant to leave the item with him unsupervised as you definitely don't want a GI foreign body if he decides to eat it! I also always have music/movies playing for my dogs when I'm away and that seems to help them not fixate so much on external noises. Thank you for taking such good care of him and trying to help him cope!
I had a Bernese stay with me and she made it very clear that she wanted her dad the whole time. And it was hot as well. You just be supportive as you can. You are comforting the dog. They are very attached to their owners. The couple got a second Bernese and that helped a bit once those two bonded and played with each other..
I could never leave y dog alone overnight. I'll leave my cats for one night maybe, but never my dogs. I used to work night shifts and my roommate was home and they were always so upset
You just don’t leave a Berner on their own. I can’t believe they did that to their precious pup. Nothing will ease their anxiety except to have their mom and dad home with them. At the very least he should be left in the full time care of someone he knows. This will permanently harm this poor pup.
365 - 7 = 358
358/365 = 0.9808
So not quite 99%, but it sounds like these owners are pretty damn close so that tone is a touch more judgemental than necessary
Do we call BPS (Bernese protection services)? Who are these people? I can’t fathom leaving any dog alone that much especially without a family member or someone known to them being the one coming by. Poor bb probably thinks his family isn’t coming back! This really grinds my gears…
No one is really providing good advice and they're kind of shaming the parents. It's a little sad, but I recommend lots of snuggles because they are very much people dogs. I typically board our girl for trips (because regardless of what others say ppl do travel for work and do take vacations, that's life). She's happy to play with the other dogs there, so if that's an option for the owners in the future, I would maybe recommend a reputable place. However, I am aware that's not always an option. You're doing your best, and sounds like doing a good job. He will bounce back when his people come home.
Phew happy you said this! These comments were making me nervous! We’re boarding our guy for the first time in August! I’m so nervous 😫
Number one advice to you is to calm yourself! My Berners feed off my energy. We take them to a lady’s house for “boarding” and they do very well there since she is a stay at home mom and mine are used to me working from home. But the first stay didn’t go well because I was a nervous wreck and the dogs sensed that at drop off! The next few times when I was calmer the dogs were calmer. Also… I wouldn’t wait til August I would do some trial days NOW to get your boy used to it. Having a dog go back to a place he has been to before and knows you will come back for him makes a BIG DIFFERENCE!
Noted!! Thank you! we’re taking him to the farm he was bred on and he has been there a few times after for shots, do you still think we should take him back for more familiarization?
Yes!! Berners are just so much more sensitive than other breeds… I guess I am a bad person because I go on vacations but I do everything I can to make sure mine are comfortable with the people/other dogs/places as much as possible! I think a lot of that comes from trial and error seeing how hat works and how.
Okay thank you! 🙏🏽 & You’re not a bad person! Everyone should take vacations 🥳
We've boarded Bennet a few times and have checked in on the puppy cam they have and he's happy as can be with the daycare dogs and generally just zonks out when he's back in his space. I wouldn't worry about it
Thank you 😅🙏🏽
I agree with this. This may be the family’s first time traveling away from this baby, and just made a bad call on care. It might be beneficial for them to be made aware of how he reacted. We also board ours at the same place he goes to daycare for socialization. The first time we picked him up he looked so relieved that we had come back. We increased the daycare sessions so he got more acclimated and built a relationship with the staff and made some doggy friends. Today we picked him up after having to board him for a few days, and he came bounding out, so happy and excited. He went from snuggling me, to my husband, to the main caretaker there, who he obviously adores. It was like he was saying “mom!mom! Guess what I’ve been doing? I’ve been playing with dogs for days!” The more we bring him there and he knows we always come back, the more he can relax and just enjoy the playtime.
I wouldn’t say they made a bad call on care. I think they were very responsible getting someone who could come multiple times a day and spend a couple hours with him. Sure, ideally he could stay with a friend he knows well, but not everyone has that option. As far as boarding at a kennel, I don’t think it would be a better option than staying in his own home. He’d most likely be just as depressed there, and he’d get less attention than he is now. I think everyone is doing the best they can in the situation and I applaud OP for that. As for tips for next time, the only thing I can think of is maybe see if they’d hire you as a regular so 1. you have a chance to bond with him if they ever need to go out of town again and 2. So he doesn’t automatically assume his world is ending when he sees you coming around
Wonderful reply! This dog's family is lucky to have such a caring pet sitter - it's hard to find people who care. Not everyone has family and friends who are able/want to care for our needy bears. It's not something people think about, but this is a good reminder that boarding/pet sitters should be part of the training we do with our dogs because you never know when they need might arise even if you aren't the traveling type! The first time out might be tough, but they do get used to it. Even parents of human babies eventually need to leave their kids. I hope that if the owners see this, they don't feel shamed but supported by this community.
Your dog is used to it, and so is mine. From an early age, they've gone through temporary changes, and their humans have come back, and it's become part of life. May not be ideal but it's not a huge trauma. This poor boy has never gone through this apparently. That's the main concern here. Lots of separation anxiety. I would advise all Bernese parents to build that pattern from an early age, so the dog is comfortable when it has to happen.
Never being away from his people was not stated in the post. She said she wasn't sure. Either way, I was actually trying to give advice and be helpful rather than to shame...
It is so heart breaking to leave a Berner because like they are SO attached to their people. We have this issue with our girl and she goes on hunger strikes. We can take her to my mother in laws across the road who she loves (We have a nice farm on a dead end road with 2 year round neighbors). She will come over and sit on our stoop waiting for us. We also can't crate her and fky with her because she would lose her shit. You just really end up feeling like the worst person in the world.
He misses his people, plain and simple. Other breeds miss their owners as much or more. The question is have the parents given him the tools to deal with some separations? You are coming by three times a day to give him the needed attention. You cannot take the place of his people, but you can make some part of his day better. He is a dog, they sleep most of the day, but he is lonely. I would put a feather in your hat and call it a success that he looks forward to your visits and begs for pets. And for those shaming the parents remember the phrase "people in glass houses should not throw stone". Everyone has a unique situation and without all the information how can you condemn others for their actions if only because they differ from yours?
I'm currently away from my guy for a short trip and stressed out for him. He's well watched and being taken care of but that feeling of not being there is still pervasive.
we left yesterday for a week. My sister is staying at my house to watch Him. He currently is only eating treats and cheese. She has to drag him or lure him outside and He isn’t drinking much. We have to go 1 time a year without him and this is the best solution. But he is a hot mess You have to be able to leave. They will survive
We use three different sitters from rover but always have someone staying overnight with our girl, and she’s usually only solo for 4-5 hours a day which she is fine with. One of our sitters brings her kids over to play with her and Maple LOVES them. Each dog is different but Berners are true Velcro dogs and are happiest with their owners or friendly familiar people to give them lots of cuddles and play time.
Mine is 5 years old too. He’d be really sad and confused. Thank you op for spending time with him 😢
If his owners are coming home tomorrow evening, he will be fine. Everything will be right again in his world. The panting is possibly from stress. I think you’re doing a great job, doing everything you can to make him more comfortable- but also keeping him safe from the heat, too! Give him a big hug for me! ❤️
They are such sociable dogs, mine panics when he sees a suitcase come out. Luckily I have a brother he loves to spend time with, so it’s like a vacation for him too. They really are an emotional, loyal and loving breed. I just wish they had better health and lived longer. My berner is 5 and I dread the day I have to say goodbye.
Lots of attention will help. Won’t cure his blues but will make time go by faster. Exercise if he’s willing.
He is stressed. We boarded ours with a lady and her family. He slept in bed with them and everything. That really helped but that breed is like Velcro they need their people.
This is probably too late but did they leave clothes with their scent that could be used to soothe him? I would also say other than that you seem to be doing all you can with the allotted time you have.
Yes, he needs to be with someone 24/7. Try to spend more time with him if you can maybe even try to spend the night with him if you can
all I can think of is - imagine as a human, you were only allowed to go to the restroom three times a day? that would be miserable! with the owners permission I would consider hemp calming treats? just to help him find some relief from being so stressed. other than that, there’s not much you can do. he just misses his people.
Are you a hobby dog trainer or is this your business?
It's my business. I'm a certified dog trainer with an LLC.
We always get someone to stay overnight as well as spend a lot of time during the day. I can’t imagine how stressful it would be for them to be alone all night long and most of the day. But we both work from home, so ours is used to someone around constantly.
OP you sound excellent at what you do, any pup in your care is lucky to have you. You really went above and beyond. That said, Berners are very needy, there's not much more you could do besides stay there 24/7. Tell the owners what happened, and for a next trip away they should consider a boarding kennel vs staying at home. I'm pretty sure the owners thought pupper would he happier in a known environment but they really are better off around others at all times, even other dogs.
I’ve looked after a Berner for a few weeks. Things I think helped it go well. 1) The dog stayed with me, so there was somebody there most of the time. 2) I had taken the dog out on several walks, just me and doggo before. Bond established. 3) Setting boundaries. I was the boss, not somebody running around trying to keep them happy. 4) A routine. Even if it is not their normal routine. Having said all that, doggo was clingy until their owner turned up, when I was demoted to no. 2 in their life in seconds 😢😢😢
Whenever I travel and can’t bring my 5 year old Berner, she goes to stay with one of my old roommates. She loves them to death, and one of them is moving back to the neighborhood, so she’ll be able to go see him and his cat. I would talk to the owners and see if they plan to use you in the future to let you come over every now and again to see the dog and become more familiar to the dog. They love people and grow very easily attached, so working on familiarity, even if you aren’t their person helps.
You should definitely be able to leave your dog at home alone during the day with occasional check ins. Berners are very co dependent which makes that hard. We’ve done a terrible job getting ours used to being home alone due to working from home. I think even a berner that gets “used” to being left at home is still going to be somewhat anxious. It’s what you sign up for with the breed. It can be trained but it will be an uphill battle. Some dogs need more effort in the obedience category, Berners need it in combatting their separation anxiety. All that said, I would never leave a berner home alone all night (or really any dog). I don’t think there’s any amount of training that will make them comfortable with that.
I will not leave my Berner . He needs us . We are his whole world. I’d choose home over vacation. Stresses me to read this :(
u/EdenAshe - you’re in a bit of a bind as other commentators have pointed out, they’re their-people dogs. We’ve had to leave our Berner for a couple of extended periods of time (traveling overseas). Each time we’ve had someone stay out at our house who our berner knows really well, so although I’m sure he misses us, they’re not “shocked” by us not being around. For day trips away we crate him - he’s been crate trained from the start and he actively likes going in as it’s both his safe place, and he knows we’re going to come back. If the family need you to look after their Berner again, I’d suggest making it a prerequisite that they have the Berner regularly come over to your house before hand. You obviously know what you’re doing and are setting up success - treating hunting, cuddles, toys etc. Every berner is a little different. Our one hates kennels - won’t sleep or eat. So we always board with a home sitter or if we’re away, with a family. We’ve used the same local family-boarder for a couple of years now, ours sleeps in their daughter’s closet! But if it’s a new one, it is hard on him for a couple of hours but then he settles in (we’re told afterward). But when he sees us, he bounds up to us and jumps / complete yeet into our car to leave.
Ice cream
Similar to commenters - I also have a Berner and if we have to ever leave him for extended days, we either bring him to a Kennel he absolutely loves, or my in-laws who he also loves lol We get lots of pictures and videos and he does not even think about us when there - he always looks like he is having the time of his life 🤣🤣 They definitely need constant attention and affection which is why I think drop-ins are not really appropriate for this breed.
There's not much to do except hang out more often if that's possible because some Berners are aloof. I'd suggest to the family that they use you from walks and hangouts more often when they're home, so you're associated with feelings of extra fun and friendliness, instead of sad feelings of abandonment. It's what we did with my Berner with a family friend. When we had to go for a 2 wk trip out of country, all of us hung out a lot beforehand at home, dog parks, breweries, etc. so our friend would become *his* friend.
Being alone in the house with no family is hell for these dogs. Especially for 7 days. They have to have humans present. It's no wonder he's miserable. I would definitely tell them for their next trip to put him with people. Poor guy. Don't know why some of these dogs have nearly human emotions and very powerful emotions and attachment to their owners.
Aww poor bub! I've had good experiences with Adaptil spray helping my dogs settle a bit (used for crate training as baby puppies, in crates at shows and when traveling) so that could be something you could try. Maybe some supervised snuggle time with a clothing item or blanket that smells like his people? I'd be hesitant to leave the item with him unsupervised as you definitely don't want a GI foreign body if he decides to eat it! I also always have music/movies playing for my dogs when I'm away and that seems to help them not fixate so much on external noises. Thank you for taking such good care of him and trying to help him cope!
I had a Bernese stay with me and she made it very clear that she wanted her dad the whole time. And it was hot as well. You just be supportive as you can. You are comforting the dog. They are very attached to their owners. The couple got a second Bernese and that helped a bit once those two bonded and played with each other..
My berner has a full pack at home and has no issues when we vacation. Agree to getting a second dog! Or 3 😉
Berners need physical affection way more than most dogs. Treat him like a baby because he’ll bounce back to normal when his family comes home.
Maybe give him a piece of clothing that smells like the owners.
I could never leave y dog alone overnight. I'll leave my cats for one night maybe, but never my dogs. I used to work night shifts and my roommate was home and they were always so upset
You just don’t leave a Berner on their own. I can’t believe they did that to their precious pup. Nothing will ease their anxiety except to have their mom and dad home with them. At the very least he should be left in the full time care of someone he knows. This will permanently harm this poor pup.
Don't know why you've been downvoted
Probably because this isn’t always an option
The other option is that you don't get a needy companion dog if you don't plan on being with it 99% of the time
And maybe this is that 1%. There’s an awful lot of judgement about a situation we don’t have details on.
365 - 7 = 358 358/365 = 0.9808 So not quite 99%, but it sounds like these owners are pretty damn close so that tone is a touch more judgemental than necessary
Is there any possibility of FaceTime with the family? That would be reassuring that they are out there and will come back.
Idk why you’re getting downvoted for this.
The risk of trying to be helpful and truthful.
Bring him to my house - I’ll take care of him.
Do we call BPS (Bernese protection services)? Who are these people? I can’t fathom leaving any dog alone that much especially without a family member or someone known to them being the one coming by. Poor bb probably thinks his family isn’t coming back! This really grinds my gears…
[удалено]
The dog wasn’t abandoned, the person is on a trip. What’s wrong with that?