It’s hard to articulate, but I had this sense that things would be so much more fast paced and chaotic than they are. Baby time is pretty drawn out and, if you’re present for it, very enjoyable.
This has been the advice I consistently share with soon-to-be parents. It may FEEL like an emergency when your kid is crying at 3 AM and you’re sleep-deprived, but it’s not. You always have time to slow down, breathe, collect yourself, and try again.
Honestly that’s how a feel. Instead of being annoyed because “oh I can’t do anything cause baby fell asleep on me” I think more like “I should enjoy this moment because I don’t know when will be the last time he wants to sleep on me”.
This, so much. I stole this from someone, but every year on my older sons’ (now 6 and 8) birthdays I pick them up. They say you’ll never know the last time you pick your baby up so I decided I’d always know when the next time would be with them. I’ll do this through adulthood and tbh they love it.
It comes sooner than you think. My son is 4 months and an absolute wiggle worm! He loves to try and stand when I hold him and is not very interested in being held for the sake of being held unless hes sleeping or needs comforting. Nursing can be like wrestling a small alligator but its still enjoyable. My favorite is when I look down to see hes smiling at me then he burries his face in my breast for a big mouthful and nurses after I smile back 🥰 :).
Same! I’m chronically restless and always trying to get something done. He does a great job reminding me there’s always time for a Power Nap and cuddle 🥰
My only problem is when she falls asleep on me and I start needing a wee! She’s not good at staying asleep through transfers so sadly, nap time’s over. 😒
Honestly so much this. First few months were sp lazy and laid baxk for me. My little one wanted to be held a lot, and I was partially nursing. So much of that time was spent just snuggling up on the couch while he slept. I just chilled and either focused on how cute he was, played on my phone, or watched TV. Aside from the lack of adult time, driving me crazy, it was actually pretty peaceful, hardest part was sometimes staying awake.
I found its not so much fast paced but that they grow so fast that before you know it you have a 1yr old. I stayed in the moment as much as possible but it still feels like I blinked and suddenly have a 2yr old.
When I was 23 my first son was born. I wasn’t married, his mom was flaky and a partier, everyone I knew thought I was screwed.
But then what you just described happened. I realized that if I just took it day by day, really moment by moment, *there was nothing fast paced about this thing.*
Mom eventually bailed and I became the full time single dad no one could have ever believed (I wasn’t the guy you’d expect), all because of what you just described.
Just had number 3 (found a new gal to be mom since those days). I practice mindfulness meditation everyday. I welcome the calm mundane blob babe.
Honestly, most of it. So many people during my pregnancy were hell bent on trauma dumping their entire parenting experience that I went into the whole thing terrified.
Literally nothing so far is as bad as I was warned. Baby is now 14 months.
This! I was so nervous my whole pregnancy. Being a parent is HARD. Having a baby is HARD. But I love it so much and my baby makes me
So happy. The diaper changes, night wakes, crying, etc. haven’t seemed so bad when I’m in the thick of it. We just do it. I also do know we were lucky to have a healthy baby girl, I know there are always circumstances that can make it much harder/stressful.
Agreed. It’s been very hard but I feel like others around me downplayed the unbelievable joy. There’s a clarity of purpose for me too that’s been so healing. Definitely hard!!! But I wish I heard more positive stories. I cried so much h my first trimester because I was like “what did I get myself into”
This is so true. I honestly feel like a lot of people really don't like their kids or being parents.
My baby is only 9 months old, but I can honestly say I've cherished every moment with him and haven't felt like caring for him is some annoying chore.
Absolutely agree, Reddit is a terrible place for new parents. My baby is freaking awesome and I love all the time I spend with her, even the hard parts.
Yep! My main reaction to the entire thing is that it’s fun. My baby is a great baby and I love hanging out with her.
I deliberately mention this to those expecting along with an “I hope you have the same feeling,” and they are mainly grateful when I say it because you get so much awful shit dumped on you as a default.
Yep same. I was expecting things to be so much harder.
To be fair, I have a pretty chill kid. She’s 16 months now and she’s been easy since the start (excluding teething weeks lol).
I'm with you on the diaper changes! Baby literally just had a blowout on me while feeding. Never thought I could care so little about poop dripping down my leg. At this point it's just par for the course.
My baby has reflux so the spit up is something I hadn’t considered before having a baby and probably worse than I expected, but even that it’s amazing how little having their bodily fluids on me grosses me out
Before solid food, diapers are easy. I was always in charge of the blowouts with my daughter for like the first year. My daughter is almost 2 and I’ve been having my husband do her diaper changes for a while. Those are 🤢 despite being physically less messy.
For the record I cloth diaper and solid food poop bothers me less. Even when I'm using disposable diapers, I knock the poop in the toilet and flush it. No more poop being stored in the house
Mine had a blowout while asleep on me and it seeped through her outfit onto my hands and I sat there for another hour and a half with poop on my hands because I didn't want to wake her up 😂😭
Yeah, diapers is probably it. I never expected it to be horrible - it happens billions of times per day and society seems fine - but it's much faster and easier than I thought.
For me, it's not just that they are not bad, but my son is always super happy during diaper changes, so it's almost always fun, except if his clothes are dirty because he hates having clothes pulled over his head.
Just in case you don't know (because I didn't until my LO was a few months old), most onesies with the folded shoulder things can come down over their arms rather than having to go up over their heads! That was a lifesaver for blowouts when I finally worked it out 😅
Yeah, I do that for blowouts but it is a lot more fiddly so I generally don't do that for dressing him. I actually learned this a couple of weeks ago from Reddit, maybe from you. 😜
It's called an envelope shoulder, I believe. 😉
I’ll be a mom soon, but I worked in a daycare and diapers never bothered me that much. It’s a lot less gross than people imagine.
However, I did have one 5 year old who still wore diapers. That was … very difficult.
Definitely labor. Of the 10ish months I was pregnant, labor is not even in the top 10 worst things about pregnancy (for me at least). I’d rather give birth 10 times than have to experience 4 months of basically the flu during the first (and some of the second) trimester. Paying the hospital bills feels worse than the labor did 🙃
The sleep deprivation. I'm functioning reasonably well and have been like that since he was born, more or less - but I have an easy baby and a lot of support.
Also, poopy nappies.
Yes, the night wakeups! My second wakes up less than my first did and I'm just used to it at this point and don't obsess over it anymore. Once we got through the tiny tiny baby fractured sleep (nothing like being up for 3-4 hours throughout the night and then getting up at 6am with the toddler) it's been just fine.
This is totally off topic, but how did you handle two bedtimes with a baby & toddler? This is my biggest fear about having a second. I'm terrified to mess up my toddler's sleep routine lol.
I wish I could say the same on the sleep deprivation 😅but I went into my labor last month very sleep deprived so I feel like I just haven’t been able to make up that deficit
I think the thing that makes this so much easier is I can actually hold my pee again 😂 I forgot what it was like to not have to go pee every hour all night long. When baby wakes up at night I can do what I gotta do all from my bed and not have to get up to go to the bathroom!!
My husband and I are both pretty low sleep need people and we got a baby that is a good sleeper, so it wasn’t anywhere close to how bad I expected it to be!
I feel the same with my second! My first was a nightmare colicky baby and the sleep deprivation gave me pretty bad PPD/PPA (literally got 3 hours of broken sleep 10-30min at a time and my daughter woke up screaming for hours until she was 4-5 months old). I went into my second pregnancy expecting the same but we sleep pretty well and it’s been relatively smooth sailing.
I definitely agree. I was getting 4-6 hours at night of broken sleep and i literally felt fine when my baby was a newborn and i was on maternity leave. I was expecting to be way more tired. It’s different now that I’m back to work though lol
Literally everything.
Labor, delivery, sleep, diapers, free time. From what I read on Reddit, the newborn stage is the worst.
I'm on baby #2 and can easily say the newborn stage is my favorite. Toddlerhood on the other hand...lol it's 10x harder for me!
Everything is much harder than I expected. I got a very high needs baby. But now that I look back, newborn phase wasn’t that bad, it gets harder later on. At least for me.
That's how I felt too lol during the newborn phase my husband and I actually watched tv. Now we haven't watched a single thing since the 3.5 month sleep regression cuz her sleep went to shit so yeah def solidarity, but this will also get better
Yes! I felt like it was the hardest thing ever while going through it but now at 6months, I have 0 breaks so I look back and I’m like “yeah that was the easiest part”. Only bad thing was the broken sleep in 1-2 hr chunks. Hope it gets better soon lol
I feel this! We’re making it, but boy was I naive. I knew that it would be hard, but I guess I wasn’t able to conceptualize the idea of having close to zero free time, or how the constant fussing of a high needs baby can truly grate your ears. I wouldnt trade it for the world! But I definitely did not know what I was getting myself j to lol.
Like others said, the sleep deprivation hasn’t been bad. It helps that my husband had a long paternity leave.
I’ve always struggled with my weight and was scared of the changes to my body. But, it’s pretty much the same. No real difference after the baby.
Same! I was worried in that first week when the weight didn’t just fall off but now I’m 6 weeks out and very close to the pre pregnancy weight. I wasn’t where I wanted to be body wise when I got pregnant but now I have so much more an appreciation of my body for all it did
Breastfeeding for me. Obviously im very lucky to not have any major problems other than the odd mastitis and touched out day.
It just feels so convenient and 10 times easier than worrying about running out of formula or having to clean bottles. And there's no chance I'm getting up in the middle of the night to make a bottle!
It's hard but no where near as hard as I thought it was going to be when I was pregnant with my first.
Agreed on this! I almost said this as well. Those first couple of days were rough as you’re waiting on milk to come in and they’re figuring out their latch but since then I’ve been very fortunate to not have encountered issues or even much pain as I started breastfeeding. So nice to be able to bring baby out and not worry about the logistics of bottles
Totally agree. I was convinced it was going to be so difficult, but it was super easy after the first day.
My personal opinion is that pumping contributes to a lot of the difficulties people have. I'm sure having to pump around a work schedule rather than just whipping out the boob whenever baby needs it complicates things.
Are you not horribly sleep deprived from having to do every night wake up, though? I formula fed and my husband and I took shifts sleeping so I got a solid 5-6 hour stretch from day one, and I was still so so tired. Genuinely don’t know how BF moms do it.
Yep. The sleep dep has massively affected my mental health and given me a lot of health issues. I worked nights throughout my pregnancy with my first and breastfed her until 18m. Then had my little boy when she was 22m and been feeding him for 6m now. Exhausted but I know the anxiety of fannying around with bottles would finish me off and my husband wouldn't do a night fees even if I paid him.
I bought a baby brezza because I was tired of having to make bottles in the middle of the night with a screaming baby. 😂 best $200 purchase I’ve ever made. Our boy struggled with breast feeding because he had an undiagnosed lip and tongue tie until recently.
All of it! I’m a single mom with no regular support and people kept saying how hard it would be. My daughter is just about 8 weeks old, and I’m loving every second so far!
Same here. I was high risk and so worried/sure there would be complications. Labor was wild going into it not knowing what to expect but I was super fortunate to have it turn out the way I planned/hoped for
Breastfeeding! It was one of the few parts of motherhood that came naturally and with ease, we are just now weaning at 3 yo.
Agree about the diapers, and for me labour and delivery was not as bad as I expected, not traumatic despite it being long and extremely painful.
Poop diapers are only an issue if there is a huge blowout, or after they start rolling away and fighting you. Otherwise, whatever. I LOVED using cloth diapers during the pre-solids phase - the covers keep the soupy breastmilk poops in and all you have to do is throw everything in the wet Bach and then in the wash every few days. It doesn’t really stink and the poop washes right out.
My baby just turned a year old and we are also using cloth nappies! So convenient. I will admit the solids sometime are tricky - blueberry poop are the worst. But I feel it could be worse. So glad I went for it this time round! I do miss the nice smelling breastmilk poops though 😂
I don’t want to jinx myself here, but people are always saying babies are expensive. If you just happen to be the last one in your world to have one, it’s not so bad. We were given pretty much everything we needed by friends who were ecstatic to get rid of it. Costco is amazing for diapers and formula. I work nights and husband works early so we are lucky and need limited childcare. We are also lucky and live somewhere where there is a ton of free stuff for kids to do and our parks are amazing.
I’m sure things will get more expensive as he gets older, but the initial hit wasn’t as bad as I expected. And I was able to pass along the good fortune and give all of our stuff to a family that needed it!
C section recovery. I was fully expecting to be bed bound for at least a week and be hobbling around after that, but by day 2 I was walking around the hospital room by myself and when I got home on day 3 I was doing small chores, carrying groceries and getting around just fine. Only felt pain if I was on my feet too long or used my abs to get out of bed. I’m almost 3wks pp now and some days I forget I even had the surgery! I think what really helped was getting moving asap
Umm almost everything. I was surprised at myself for my ability to endure a lot after being a mom. I actually enjoy motherhood, but I understand it's only because I don't have a high need child. My child is pretty pleasant to be with and that's why I still have the energy to dance to the wiggles after the long sleepless night tending to her sickness.
We have been constantly told how bad it’s going to get later and… it has literally gotten easier every single day since our daughter was born. Those early days suck, once she could crawl it was awesome, and now she walks and it’s amazing!
People are saying that once she talks we will be in trouble… doubt it. Those first few weeks/months are brutal.
The solids diapers aren’t even as bad as I anticipated—probably because it becomes more “poop-like” slowly as they intake more and more solids gradually. They give you time to acclimate lol
I'm the same with nappies but further along. My daughter is 13 mo and still does the odd blow out. My husband can't stand the smell to the point of almost throwing up (he has a super sensitive nose) but I don't find it a big deal.
Yeah it smells like actual poop and I can tell from across the room when it's happened, but all I'm thinking about when changing her is keeping her hands out of it 🫠
Also, other people's kids are so much harder because you're not their mummy. We can just sit and chill on the sofa together and have cuddles. Boob still fixes all of life's problems though I try to only do it for sleep.
Agree about the diapers. My cat has bad allergies and is constantly sneezing big boogers and they make me gag. I’d change a blowout over just *look at* one of those boogers any day.
All of it though. The hardest part has been my partners behavior. Baby has been just fine
Traveling with a baby! We've done two trips, she's almost 7 months. She sleeps terribly so we're sleep deprived whether we're on vacation or not. But she's such a social baby traveling with her has been so fun, even though it's tiring and obviously harder than when we were just a couple.
She's also not an easy baby at all, a lot of stuff has been difficult. She's going through extreme bottle refusal AND distracted feeding. But despite all of it we still have so much fun traveling with her and going to new places I thought it would feel more daunting and less fun, but it's a great time!
This is amazing. We did a quick trip and my guy slept better on that trip than he ever had at home! We are trying to travel internationally next year with him and the logistics of all the things we have to bring stresses me but the idea of bringing him along is exciting
My LO is 10mo and on solids but still his poopy diapers aren't earth shattering. Not fun to deal and definitely way more smelly now lol but not that bad.
I'm gonna just say the entire thing. All of it. I've spent a lot of time reflecting over the last 10 months on how society at large essentially led me to believe that life was over after having a baby. For example, how everyone tells you make sure you're done "living life", going to school, having a career, making friends, "finding yourself", and pretty much anything else you can think of before having kids because they make it sound like you'll never have the opportunity again once they're here. However you quickly realize once they're born that it's all a lie and really life is just beginning... Granted, you may need better time management after baby is here but it's definitely not all over for you.
“You’ll never have time for your hobbies or friends ever again”
Except I talk to my friends almost every day and I have a weekly game night? I cut out 2 game nights a week and I miss some hangouts for the boy, but it’s not like I never see anyone I care about.
I thought that I would have issues with being depressed or sad after birth, and that I would feel hormonal and all. I had practically none of that, which is nice!
Other than that I thought I would be more protective about my baby and wouldn't let people touch him, and wouldn't be okay with going anywhere for months but I am actually pretty chill about close family taking care of him and I am thinking about planning a few days away with my husband when he will be 4+ months old!
Also physical recovery from birth has been a breeze for me which is also a pleasant surprise.
For me personally, lack of sleep. That's not to say it hasn't been a struggle, but from the way people talked about it, I expected to basically sleep 1-2 hours a night for the first 5 years of my kid's life. But a bedside bassinet helped enormously during the newborn/infant stage so I didn't have to get out of bed when baby woke up, which made it easier for me to fall back asleep. At 15 months, she's still never fully slept through the night, but I've adjusted to the 2-3 wake-ups she still has at night to nurse (sometimes only once, but she's teething now and has regressed a bit). I just make sure that when she goes to bed at 8:15, I'm in bed by 10:30. She gets up at 7:40, so that means I have a 9 hour block to sleep. Even with those wake-ups, I'm only awake for about 20 minutes total during that time. It's not ideal, but it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
It is very hard mentally, much harder than I expected. Delivery and establishing breastfeeding both times was smoother than expected for me, so I had early wins in the first… two weeks. Everything else has been much harder than I could have possibly imagined.
Don’t worry, I think it was harder mentally than I thought. A lot of people who haven’t found it hard mentally have had lots of family help or their child has started nursery super early. I have a 16 month old and worked with babies before / am a teacher and it has been so much harder mentally than I thought it would be. Some things are easier, nappy changing, breastfeeding etc for example was mentioned. But soo many other unexpected things mentally were harder. It’s not just you! ❤️
Most of it, actually. Sure, I’m tired, there is some chaos, my husband and I don’t really have time to be a couple. But I can still function quite well as a person, my husband and I are still getting along well, and I feel generally happy and adjusted.
Not that it hasn’t been hard, but I guess I went in with such terrible expectations that I found it better than expected. It also helps that my baby is quite an easy baby, I think.
The only part that was worse than expected honestly was labour. I was not prepared for that kind of pain and noped out of my “unmedicated water birth” plan very quickly.
The sleep?? I don’t have a miracle sleeping baby, she wakes 3-5x a night, but for the most part it has not been as bad as I expected. I thought it would be absolutely hellish but tbh I was way more sleep deprived in high school and college 😂
Same here. It’s funny how in pop culture when talking about babies it’s always about “the diapers!” Yet that’s one of the easiest and simple parts of having a baby. I would change 20 poopy diapers a day not to ever have a sick, coughing baby.
Labor and delivery. I was in labor for 60 hours (not an induction either!) and made it 48 hrs unmedicated. I didn’t feel pain during labor. I felt overwhelming physical sensations and it was a gauntlet, but no PAIN. I pushed for 3.5 hrs, had a second degree tear, and was hospitalized for 5 days bc my body took a beating from the tough labor. BUT giving birth was still the best experience of my entire life and I genuinely loved almost every moment. I enjoyed myself!! I found much of it to be fun. I feel no trauma, regret, or negative feelings looking back. So it was an unbelievably hard labor but I would say not nearly as “bad” as I worried it would be
Pretty much everything lol. All moms were like "wait til..." So and so as if it traumatized them and they were trauma dumping on me. . It kinda honestly irritated me the fact they like, wanted to make a new mom to be nervous lol.
Not saying all is easy but it's not as bad as they made it out to be.
They told me we wouldn't be able to go out ever again. We go out even more than before having our daughter.
Actually, everything is way better than they told us it was going to be.
Everyone was soooo dramatic that “life will change and you can’t do anything anymore”
In reality, we were ready to slow things down and do not miss the things we wouldn’t do much with a new baby. We love this life 100x more with our child than before it. It wasn’t that dramatic of a change in terms of we’re still bopping around to breweries and restaurants on the weekend, going for walks with our dog, running to Target and Trader Joe’s, going to see friends/familt, etc we just have a lil plus one in tow
That’s amazing! This is what we try to do as well. We had definitely gotten to the point where going out or even to dinner just us two was sort of running its course
Sleep issues, literally only had one child that hit my limit, and my husband stepped in and helped me resolve it.
Had so many people tell me, warn me, and still encourage me to love my kids and not be bitter…. They are literally the only ones I love. Go away lol.
Pregnancy and labor and delivery weren’t bad at all. I straight up loved pregnancy 90% of the time. Labor and delivery were so different from what I imagined. The feeling of her leaving my body will stay with me forever. Postpartum has been truly awful though!
Same.. but the solids actually made it easier! They're not big adult poops and they smell like super buttered popcorn. Also I love my snoofy bee changing pad. Also with solids there's no more blowouts!
Sleep has been much better than I thought from about 12 weeks. He’s 1 now. Eating solids however…he does eat but I didn’t expect so many bad meals and throwing food.
As a mom of a 7 month old, I never thought I'd say I genuinely miss the breastmilk poops. The solid food poops are like adult poop in terms of smell and texture. Not a fan.
But I'm very lucky that my daughter sleeps 10 hours straight. I expected to have to get up in the middle of the night to feed her.
I don’t feel like my life has been as restricted as I would’ve thought, I just do what I would want to do with my buddy tagging along. Yes it’s harder but it’s still fun and worthwhile overall.
The tiredness/sleep deprivation. Our guy only ever woke once in the nights and even on our worst night we still got 6 total hours of sleep, plus I love taking afternoon naps with him when I can. He’s been sleeping solidly 9-12 hours through the night since 2 months. Hoping if there’s a 4 month regression it’s not too bad.
The sleep deprivation! We got lucky with a decent sleeper but even from the beginning I’ve never felt zombie exhausted like people told me I would. It helps that my husband was off for the first month with us and he got up at every wake up too. Also breastfeeding. I was so worried I wouldn’t make milk because I had a breast reduction 11 years ago, but it’s been totally fine. We struggled in the beginning to get the latch figured out but by 2 weeks we were doing just fine. I’m shocked tbh!
The newborn phase. I had a fairly easy baby in fairness but he'd sleep 16+ hours a day, only needed bottles and nappy changes and if I put him on the couch he'd just....stay.
9 month old is super cute and fun but soooo much harder
The sleep thing wasn’t nearly as bad as I was led to believe. Sure the beginning wasn’t super excellent and we didn’t have much outside help from family but my son was actually kind of a good sleeper. He’s 14 months now and it’s so so rare that he wakes up. I know this isn’t everyone’s experience but I think we just got a bit lucky.
Same! I dreaded it as well and both my bf and I agree that this is the least 'annoying' thing. my boy is now one and a half, so he has solid poops too and honestly, they're not bad at all. Easier to clean up, though a tad more smelly.
The sleep! I’m super lucky to have an involved partner and we’re currently breaking up the night into shifts but even with that I still have to pump throughout. Everyone spent my entire pregnancy just waiting me into oblivion over sleeplessness but I feel so much better now than I did then you get used to the lack of sleep and waking up to feed baby is so much better than waking to pee or because of pain
Pretty much everything lol. All moms were like "wait til..." So and so as if it traumatized them and they were trauma dumping on me. . It kinda honestly irritated me the fact they like, wanted to make a new mom to be nervous lol.
Not saying all is easy but it's not as bad as they made it out to be.
I agree! I even get excited for my little guy when he's pooped as I know it's a welcome relief 🤣
Most things have been easier than I thought, other than breastfeeding which has been much harder. All good now though at 15 weeks!
>I hear it gets much worse when solid food is introduced
I actually have found solid food made it a lot easier. I mean, the smell is definitely more like adult poop so there's that, but they get more solids once they're on solids, so the clean up is way easier. And the blowouts go away.
Barf gets way worse though.
Working from home with a newborn. I didn’t get any maternity leave and while I’m completely exhausted, we’re making it work, I’ve loveddd having her home with me, and baby girl is thriving and ahead on all of her milestones.
Still pretty excited for her to start daycare at 6 months though. She gets bored easily (even did as early as 4 weeks) and I’m running out of ideas to keep her stimulated while I work. Can’t imagine what I’d do with her when she’s crawling around everywhere
Disclaimer: I have a perfectly healthy, happy baby who eats and sleeps well and rarely cries (only when she needs something and her needs / desires are very predictable). I’m sure this would suck with a more difficult child
Diapers and baby fluids in general. I struggled with contamination OCD most of my adult life and through pregnancy, and now if I get spit up or peed on or whatever, it’s just like “oh that sucks” and I go wash my hands or change my shirt
I did not think I’d like the early days, but looking back, the newborn days were so very sweet. The issue was moreso dealing with my own body recovery than the baby. She was a sweet, sleepy potato and since it was during the holidays there was lots of snuggling with Christmas decor and Hallmark movies.
It seems like everything hasn’t been as bad as people warned me about tbh. I guess it’s good though, I prepared for the worst then was pleasantly surprised (also lucky with a very easygoing baby)
They smell like a truck drivers bad diet when they're toddlers. My daughter leaves biohazards in her diapers and can stink up the whole room 🤣
Somehow they're still less disgusting than the dogs and she eats the same thing every day!
Everything is harder. I have cared for countless babies, I was a live in nanny for a good portion of my life, I’ve been with babies for months.
Nothing compares to the little baby I have. Oh boy. She is so difficult!!!
Solid food poops are a lot worse. They smell so bad and sometimes travel way further than a milk diaper ever did. :S
Finding time isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I thought I would be too busy to take ever again, but I actually have plenty of time because he likes just playing by himself a lot of the time.
"Touched out"
I heard so much about this while being pregnant that I was really concerned about not wanting to kiss or hug my husband once the baby was here.
Physical touch is like my #1 love language, so it turns out... I've never had that problem! And I have a Velcro baby! Sometimes I want my husband to take her for a bit when he gets home, but it's not really the same as being "touched out". I am so grateful for it!!
Everybody told me I was gonna have a hard time with the baby because that’s normal. Nope had a unicorn baby and toddler. She slept through the night at 4 months, potty trained at 2 and took only a week and a half. We never had sleep regression, colic, or anything. so it was beyond easy at age 0-3 lol. Now the part that’s hard is she’s almost four and now she has thoughts about everything and anything.
I expected the sleep deprivation to be way harder on me than it was. Don't get me wrong, I had plenty of terrible sleep in that first year. And I wasn't one of those people who said they slept better once they weren't pregnant any more. Newborn (and especially 4 month...and also 5, 6, 8, 9, & 11 month) sleep was WAY worse than pregnant sleep, for me personally. But I remember feeling panicked that I wouldn't be able to handle the sleep deprivation and...I just...did? When I'd finally gotten baby back in the crib and I hadn't even fully fallen asleep before he was awake again, I might whine a little, but my baby needed me, so I just handled it one wake up at a time, and caught up on sleep every opportunity I had, and I just made it through.
He's 17 months old now and has been sleeping through the night pretty consistently since he turned 1, and I treasure every night of good sleep, because it definitely sucked when it wasn't there, but it also was nowhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be when I was pregnant and hearing about terrible baby sleep. (And I promise this isn't entirely rose colored glasses about babyhood! I distinctly had the "this isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be" thought while I was in the middle of the sleep deprivation too, haha.)
My baby is almost 5 months and nothing has ever been as bad as people said it would be. I’m not silly, I know she’s still young and there’s a lot of time left for changes - but, I’ve (arguably) found this pretty easy so far… the hardest part was c section recovery, and even that wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but definitely impacted how much I could do with my daughter when she was born, my fiancé done everything
Going out with the baby is easier than I ever expected, especially once you’re out of the newborn stage. As long as they’re fed, changed, and it’s not close to nap time then it’s a breeze. My son hates the car though, so that sucks, but once we’re out he’s pretty happy. He loves people watching and “helping” me push the shopping cart.
Discipline, especially not “popping” my toddler. It seems like the folks I know incorporate some type of popping their kid, and I was beat with a belt growing up. I think its crazy ppl still hit/pop their kids when there is so much content & practical advice on avoiding that
Two things.
Firstly, I've been puked on so. Many. Times. Never thought I'd pick up my son while he was sick so that he would puke on me but it's way better than him puking on his back as a baby and choking. And then I just felt bad for him that he felt so bad.
Secondly, I was worried it would be hard to have patience with him. It's not. It is so easy because he is my sweet boy.
Parenting is much easier than people make it out to be.
Honestly, there used to be a lot I can do now as a parent that I never thought I could, especially the gross stuff. I’ve realized that my reactions directly impact how my kids perceive situations, and I want them to be able to handle tough things.
Diapers also! And I’m thankful I didn’t have to bf because making formula bottles is easy. Although there are other downsides to formula, all that is nothing compared to losing sleep which has been the hardest part for me.
Going out with the baby. Not so bad! It helps to be organized and have a diaper bag where you can access things easily. But yeah, going out shopping or to concerts or the library with the kid has been so fun!
The actual having of the baby wasn't as bad as I expected. She also is sturdier than I thought a newborn would be. I've always been terrified of babies but she isn't scary.
I get excited when I see a poopie diaper because I know that means she is healthy and isn’t backed up! I was scared about having to change diapers before giving birth but it doesn’t bother me one bit.
EVERYTHING!
i was planning to tolerate motherhood but thought i would be bad at it and didn’t know how i’d keep up energetically. newsflash, self, you are not yourself during an HG pregnancy.
so many HG pregnancy silver linings!?
-new baby tired has NOTHING on HG tired
-working with new baby tired has NOTHING on working with HG tired
not only that but i kind of rock at this? i got an easy kid so i know its not all our parenting and nurture but. we’re good parents. i love being a mom. so much. there are occasionally transitions where i’m like oh shit this is new how do i do this (i.e. toddlerhood!!!!! weaning!) but they’ve all passed quickly and i’ve built new parenting muscles along the way.
loving my son, parenting. it’s all the easiest (as in it comes naturally) thing i’ve ever done.
so glad i did it and so glad (and surprised) i feel up to one more HG pregnancy so i can have one more.
Noo solid food diapers are a lot easier don’t worry. It’s just one thicker poop easier to remove right off, no liquidy gloopy mess and blow out everywhere.
Taking baby out was not hard for me until baby could and wanted to move on his own. I took my son to the store all the time until he turned 2. Everyone made it seem like a chore to pack up everything for the baby, but I just had a dedicated go bag basically that I regularly maintained.
The lack of sleep! I slept so poorly in my third trimester that my sleep tracker says my sleep actually improved after giving birth! And my kid would be considered a terrible sleeper overall.
Yeah their poop is strangely not gross at all? It doesn’t even smell bad to me and it’s so easy to wipe off, it’s not like real poop. Wondering if I’ll feel the same once we start solids.
I kept getting an “oh just you wait, everything is going to change for you now” in a bad way. The only thing that’s changed is I have a mini me attached to my hip all the time
Literally the ENTIRE newborn stage. Easy as pie, I don’t know why everyone was hell bent on it being difficult.
11 months though… now that’s a challenge 🥲
Both sleep and diapers. I honestly thought I’d never sleep again and be dangerously sleep deprived, but I’m six weeks in and it’s not as bad as I thought. Also, diapers. I thought it would gross me out but it’s totally fine.
First time dad here. I guess I never “expected” my son (or anyone) to sneeze directly into my mouth at any point in my life. He’s almost 6 months old and got his first cold. Yesterday, he sneezed directly into my mouth - twice. I’m certain mucus membranes of some sort were covered. It weirdly didn’t gross me out at all; we both laughed at it (he finds sneezes - both his and others’ - absolutely hilarious). I assume I wasn’t phased by it because 98% of the time I have some sort of his bodily fluid on me, but more so I think he’s just really really cute.
I was worried I would get the good hormones, or not like my baby (I don’t like kids generally). NOPE moment I saw him world shifted - love at first sight. Also people made me believe I would be sad about all the things I can’t do, but now instead I get to do SO MANY NEW THINGS! like babies first everything! Can you imagine what it’s like for EVERYTHING to be new!!! I like singing “I can show you the world@ because I caaaaaannnn!
This might be an unpopular opinion… but I prefer solid food poops over milk poops. Yeah, they smell way worse. But I find them much easier to clean because it’s much thicker and doesn’t get all up in the crevices as much as milk poops do!
He’s only 10 months though. Maybe I don’t have enough experience to be saying this so early 😂
Diapers too! But as someone who used to not rrally like kids, i expected to be more annoyed at the disturbances. Turns out even the crying is music to my ears. I dont mind doong anything and everything for my baby,he is so lovely and time with him is really... I dont even know how to describe it, intimate, fragile, funny...
Yes, diapers were fine!! I was worried about post-food diapers too but those weren’t really that bad. It was the post-food vomiting that was way worse.
My husband and I both had a lot of adrenaline after coming home from the hospital so we found the first two weeks shockingly easy? It helped that we were both off work for that time and I had a 1 year Mat leave. (Canadian here) I did struggle at around the 6 week mark feeling bored and isolated, though.
First time mom here- diapers for sure, even after introducing solids (I braced myself for the worst and still, it’s not that bad), but also just being covered in spit up/bodily fluids 24/7. When I was pregnant the thought of a baby peeing or spitting up on me grossed me out so hard. But it’s just not the same when it’s your own kid. Gross still, yes, but tolerable.
6 months old and her poops aren’t terrible with the solids. She’s never had diaper rash, never shit or pee that leaked out of the diaper and soaked the bed. I’m tired yeah, but people made it seem like it would be so chaotic. She has always slept through the night since about 8 weeks old.
Definitely the diapers. Everyone seemed to complain about it so much so that people want to potty train their kids before they could even talk!
It's literally the easiest part about babies. You change their diaper maybe 6-8 times a day when they are younger and maybe 5 times a day as they get older
Baby stuff isn't hard, trying to do anything else while having a baby with you is hard. Newborn phase was much easier for me than the 10mo old-1year phase though. They just sleep so much
Newborn phase wasn't that hard
She sleep . Poo , eat . Didn't really need entertaining. Could do house work during day and watch tv show
Know she 5 month I don't stop and can't get any adult jobs done till she goes to bed
I am disgusted by poop but baby poop doesn't bother me. It's pretty much milk anyway. As a mom you're going to get poo and urine on you at some point. Not to mention spit up milk. For me it was the sleeping. My son slept lovingly well. I only hope my daughter is as good a sleeper.
Basically everything. It’s hard, sure, but not nearly as hard as people made it seem.
One specific thing I’ll call out is my relationship with my husband. The amount of people who made it seem like we would hate each other (or at least I would hate him) had me terrified for our relationship. I love and like this man so much more post baby. We have significantly less time alone together which has its challenges, but I wouldn’t trade this phase of life and getting to share it with him for the world.
The "being touched out" concept. Maybe it's just because I'm a big cuddler and my husband is NOT at all, but I literally cannot be touched out. Even when I'm holding my 4 month old and my toddler is hanging onto my leg, I'm fine.
It's only when they're all screaming and my husband is trying to talk to me that I get sensory overload lol.
Pretty much everything. Social media scared the shit out of me and I thought that motherhood, especially in the newborn stage, would be soul sucking. Turns out my baby is extremely cute and I don't mind things that sounded horrendous before I gave birth to her, such as waking up at an inconvenient time to feed her or wiping her poopy butt. Is taking care of a baby difficult? At times, yes. But people often find difficult things enjoyable, or at least worthwhile.
Baby, everything lol like people made babies sound so dramatic. I mean aside from the sleep or lack there of, nothing has been crazy. However TODDLERS. WTF. Like let's stop rambling about infants and talk about toddler sleep. Toddler eating. Toddler behvaior. This shit is WILD. And it seems like no one seems to bother telling anyone about it until you go UHM IS THIS NORMAL?! And other toddler parents are like "haha...yeah 😫" lmao
The sleepless nights. I really loved my sleep and couldn’t function well without proper sleep pre-baby, so I dreaded the interrupted sleep. Baby is 2 months old now, I found that even though I’m sleep deprived and can’t function well, I’m more than willing to wake up multiple times at night and happy to spend time with my darling boy.
As many others in here have said: EVERYTHING. Including pregnancy, labor, and the newborn stage. My pregnancy was uncomfortable and labor didn’t go as planned - but the way people speak about these things, they expect you to have some degree of trauma from it.
Especially C-sections/birth. I planned to have a natural unmedicated birth at home, and ended up in a C-section at the hospital because my babe was unknowingly breech and I was in labor for three days lol. Despite that, the whole experience was literally my happiest memory. It was so beautiful. Having a C-section was in no way bad for me or traumatic. The recovery wasn’t NEARLY as bad as people on the internet convinced me it would be. Yes, you’re a little less mobile (which made breastfeeding slightly more challenging) but if you do your best to rest, you will heal well. I didn’t even need to use the narcotics for post-op pain management, just Tylenol and advil.
And when it came to the newborn stage as a FTM, I never once wished it away or felt like I was suffering. In fact I never wanted it to end. Those night feedings with my newborn when all the world was sleeping and it was just me and him are some of my most cherished memories. Yes I was tired and recovering from a surgery, but it’s like the joy I had overrode any of the hardships of parenthood.
Motherhood is truly beautiful even when it’s difficult at times. I wish more moms had taken the opportunity to dump their positivity into me rather than their trauma. Because it is so so much better than I ever imagined.
Can I say HOW MUCH it bothers me when people will post pics of THEIR baby’s blowout and be like “hErEs Ur BiRtH cOnTroL.”. like yes, I think seeing anyone’s baby’s blowout on my news feed is disgusting but didn’t keep me from having a baby. In fact, I have been covered in my baby’s monstrous blowout, and didn’t even bat an eye. Btw- we just started solid foods and surprisingly it’s not *that* much worse. His breast milk mustard poos are kinda just solidifying more, and smell a little. but; nothing to freak over.
The noise isn't as bad as I thought. I'm very sensitive to sound but his crying and whining don't bother me as much as I thought it would. But I'll say the sleeping is significantly worse than I thought.
It’s hard to articulate, but I had this sense that things would be so much more fast paced and chaotic than they are. Baby time is pretty drawn out and, if you’re present for it, very enjoyable.
This has been the advice I consistently share with soon-to-be parents. It may FEEL like an emergency when your kid is crying at 3 AM and you’re sleep-deprived, but it’s not. You always have time to slow down, breathe, collect yourself, and try again.
I wish I would have recognized this a lot sooner
Honestly that’s how a feel. Instead of being annoyed because “oh I can’t do anything cause baby fell asleep on me” I think more like “I should enjoy this moment because I don’t know when will be the last time he wants to sleep on me”.
This, so much. I stole this from someone, but every year on my older sons’ (now 6 and 8) birthdays I pick them up. They say you’ll never know the last time you pick your baby up so I decided I’d always know when the next time would be with them. I’ll do this through adulthood and tbh they love it.
This is the sweetest and I absolutely plan to pick my son up every birthday forever.
That's adorable. Stealing this.
It comes sooner than you think. My son is 4 months and an absolute wiggle worm! He loves to try and stand when I hold him and is not very interested in being held for the sake of being held unless hes sleeping or needs comforting. Nursing can be like wrestling a small alligator but its still enjoyable. My favorite is when I look down to see hes smiling at me then he burries his face in my breast for a big mouthful and nurses after I smile back 🥰 :).
Oh my god that is adorable 🥰
Same! I’m chronically restless and always trying to get something done. He does a great job reminding me there’s always time for a Power Nap and cuddle 🥰
Was just thinking about this a few minutes ago when I put my almost 8m old down for nap 😭😭
My only problem is when she falls asleep on me and I start needing a wee! She’s not good at staying asleep through transfers so sadly, nap time’s over. 😒
Honestly so much this. First few months were sp lazy and laid baxk for me. My little one wanted to be held a lot, and I was partially nursing. So much of that time was spent just snuggling up on the couch while he slept. I just chilled and either focused on how cute he was, played on my phone, or watched TV. Aside from the lack of adult time, driving me crazy, it was actually pretty peaceful, hardest part was sometimes staying awake.
I found its not so much fast paced but that they grow so fast that before you know it you have a 1yr old. I stayed in the moment as much as possible but it still feels like I blinked and suddenly have a 2yr old.
When I was 23 my first son was born. I wasn’t married, his mom was flaky and a partier, everyone I knew thought I was screwed. But then what you just described happened. I realized that if I just took it day by day, really moment by moment, *there was nothing fast paced about this thing.* Mom eventually bailed and I became the full time single dad no one could have ever believed (I wasn’t the guy you’d expect), all because of what you just described. Just had number 3 (found a new gal to be mom since those days). I practice mindfulness meditation everyday. I welcome the calm mundane blob babe.
Honestly, most of it. So many people during my pregnancy were hell bent on trauma dumping their entire parenting experience that I went into the whole thing terrified. Literally nothing so far is as bad as I was warned. Baby is now 14 months.
This! I was so nervous my whole pregnancy. Being a parent is HARD. Having a baby is HARD. But I love it so much and my baby makes me So happy. The diaper changes, night wakes, crying, etc. haven’t seemed so bad when I’m in the thick of it. We just do it. I also do know we were lucky to have a healthy baby girl, I know there are always circumstances that can make it much harder/stressful.
Agreed. It’s been very hard but I feel like others around me downplayed the unbelievable joy. There’s a clarity of purpose for me too that’s been so healing. Definitely hard!!! But I wish I heard more positive stories. I cried so much h my first trimester because I was like “what did I get myself into”
Absolutely. Being a parent is way easier than people make it sound. I love my son so much I just want to do these things for him.
This is so true. I honestly feel like a lot of people really don't like their kids or being parents. My baby is only 9 months old, but I can honestly say I've cherished every moment with him and haven't felt like caring for him is some annoying chore.
Absolutely agree, Reddit is a terrible place for new parents. My baby is freaking awesome and I love all the time I spend with her, even the hard parts.
Same so far. I was truly expecting it to be kind of awful based on what other people’s experiences looked and sounded like.
Yep! My main reaction to the entire thing is that it’s fun. My baby is a great baby and I love hanging out with her. I deliberately mention this to those expecting along with an “I hope you have the same feeling,” and they are mainly grateful when I say it because you get so much awful shit dumped on you as a default.
I have the same experience!
Yep same. I was expecting things to be so much harder. To be fair, I have a pretty chill kid. She’s 16 months now and she’s been easy since the start (excluding teething weeks lol).
Agreed! But I have a relatively easy baby. So much of it is luck of the draw.
OMG SAME
Yeah this is what happened to me too and it was kind of a blessing cuz it wasn’t anything near as bad and was people said
I had the same experience but my son turned 2 and now *I get it*
I'm with you on the diaper changes! Baby literally just had a blowout on me while feeding. Never thought I could care so little about poop dripping down my leg. At this point it's just par for the course.
My baby has reflux so the spit up is something I hadn’t considered before having a baby and probably worse than I expected, but even that it’s amazing how little having their bodily fluids on me grosses me out
Before solid food, diapers are easy. I was always in charge of the blowouts with my daughter for like the first year. My daughter is almost 2 and I’ve been having my husband do her diaper changes for a while. Those are 🤢 despite being physically less messy.
Spit up, imho, is so much worse than diapers!
For the record I cloth diaper and solid food poop bothers me less. Even when I'm using disposable diapers, I knock the poop in the toilet and flush it. No more poop being stored in the house
Mine had a blowout while asleep on me and it seeped through her outfit onto my hands and I sat there for another hour and a half with poop on my hands because I didn't want to wake her up 😂😭
Ha I just had a blowout on me and finished feeding him before changing
Yeah, diapers is probably it. I never expected it to be horrible - it happens billions of times per day and society seems fine - but it's much faster and easier than I thought.
For me, it's not just that they are not bad, but my son is always super happy during diaper changes, so it's almost always fun, except if his clothes are dirty because he hates having clothes pulled over his head.
Just in case you don't know (because I didn't until my LO was a few months old), most onesies with the folded shoulder things can come down over their arms rather than having to go up over their heads! That was a lifesaver for blowouts when I finally worked it out 😅
Yeah, I do that for blowouts but it is a lot more fiddly so I generally don't do that for dressing him. I actually learned this a couple of weeks ago from Reddit, maybe from you. 😜 It's called an envelope shoulder, I believe. 😉
I’ll be a mom soon, but I worked in a daycare and diapers never bothered me that much. It’s a lot less gross than people imagine. However, I did have one 5 year old who still wore diapers. That was … very difficult.
How do you even handle that? I would expect as a parent to be talked to about that...
Honestly, labor itself! And sleep deprivation. Both are definitely not comfy, but also not as bad as I expected.
Definitely labor. Of the 10ish months I was pregnant, labor is not even in the top 10 worst things about pregnancy (for me at least). I’d rather give birth 10 times than have to experience 4 months of basically the flu during the first (and some of the second) trimester. Paying the hospital bills feels worse than the labor did 🙃
The sleep deprivation. I'm functioning reasonably well and have been like that since he was born, more or less - but I have an easy baby and a lot of support. Also, poopy nappies.
Yes, the night wakeups! My second wakes up less than my first did and I'm just used to it at this point and don't obsess over it anymore. Once we got through the tiny tiny baby fractured sleep (nothing like being up for 3-4 hours throughout the night and then getting up at 6am with the toddler) it's been just fine.
This is totally off topic, but how did you handle two bedtimes with a baby & toddler? This is my biggest fear about having a second. I'm terrified to mess up my toddler's sleep routine lol.
I wish I could say the same on the sleep deprivation 😅but I went into my labor last month very sleep deprived so I feel like I just haven’t been able to make up that deficit
Oof yeah when I was induced I had been in early labour for 3 days and had gotten maybe 6 hrs of sleep 😅
I think the thing that makes this so much easier is I can actually hold my pee again 😂 I forgot what it was like to not have to go pee every hour all night long. When baby wakes up at night I can do what I gotta do all from my bed and not have to get up to go to the bathroom!!
My husband and I are both pretty low sleep need people and we got a baby that is a good sleeper, so it wasn’t anywhere close to how bad I expected it to be!
I feel the same with my second! My first was a nightmare colicky baby and the sleep deprivation gave me pretty bad PPD/PPA (literally got 3 hours of broken sleep 10-30min at a time and my daughter woke up screaming for hours until she was 4-5 months old). I went into my second pregnancy expecting the same but we sleep pretty well and it’s been relatively smooth sailing.
I definitely agree. I was getting 4-6 hours at night of broken sleep and i literally felt fine when my baby was a newborn and i was on maternity leave. I was expecting to be way more tired. It’s different now that I’m back to work though lol
Literally everything. Labor, delivery, sleep, diapers, free time. From what I read on Reddit, the newborn stage is the worst. I'm on baby #2 and can easily say the newborn stage is my favorite. Toddlerhood on the other hand...lol it's 10x harder for me!
Everything is much harder than I expected. I got a very high needs baby. But now that I look back, newborn phase wasn’t that bad, it gets harder later on. At least for me.
That's how I felt too lol during the newborn phase my husband and I actually watched tv. Now we haven't watched a single thing since the 3.5 month sleep regression cuz her sleep went to shit so yeah def solidarity, but this will also get better
Yes! I felt like it was the hardest thing ever while going through it but now at 6months, I have 0 breaks so I look back and I’m like “yeah that was the easiest part”. Only bad thing was the broken sleep in 1-2 hr chunks. Hope it gets better soon lol
I feel this! We’re making it, but boy was I naive. I knew that it would be hard, but I guess I wasn’t able to conceptualize the idea of having close to zero free time, or how the constant fussing of a high needs baby can truly grate your ears. I wouldnt trade it for the world! But I definitely did not know what I was getting myself j to lol.
Basically everything 🤷♀️
Like others said, the sleep deprivation hasn’t been bad. It helps that my husband had a long paternity leave. I’ve always struggled with my weight and was scared of the changes to my body. But, it’s pretty much the same. No real difference after the baby.
Same! I was worried in that first week when the weight didn’t just fall off but now I’m 6 weeks out and very close to the pre pregnancy weight. I wasn’t where I wanted to be body wise when I got pregnant but now I have so much more an appreciation of my body for all it did
Breastfeeding for me. Obviously im very lucky to not have any major problems other than the odd mastitis and touched out day. It just feels so convenient and 10 times easier than worrying about running out of formula or having to clean bottles. And there's no chance I'm getting up in the middle of the night to make a bottle! It's hard but no where near as hard as I thought it was going to be when I was pregnant with my first.
Agreed on this! I almost said this as well. Those first couple of days were rough as you’re waiting on milk to come in and they’re figuring out their latch but since then I’ve been very fortunate to not have encountered issues or even much pain as I started breastfeeding. So nice to be able to bring baby out and not worry about the logistics of bottles
Totally agree. I was convinced it was going to be so difficult, but it was super easy after the first day. My personal opinion is that pumping contributes to a lot of the difficulties people have. I'm sure having to pump around a work schedule rather than just whipping out the boob whenever baby needs it complicates things.
Are you not horribly sleep deprived from having to do every night wake up, though? I formula fed and my husband and I took shifts sleeping so I got a solid 5-6 hour stretch from day one, and I was still so so tired. Genuinely don’t know how BF moms do it.
Yep. The sleep dep has massively affected my mental health and given me a lot of health issues. I worked nights throughout my pregnancy with my first and breastfed her until 18m. Then had my little boy when she was 22m and been feeding him for 6m now. Exhausted but I know the anxiety of fannying around with bottles would finish me off and my husband wouldn't do a night fees even if I paid him.
I bought a baby brezza because I was tired of having to make bottles in the middle of the night with a screaming baby. 😂 best $200 purchase I’ve ever made. Our boy struggled with breast feeding because he had an undiagnosed lip and tongue tie until recently.
Mine sleeps? Like she’s 4.5 months and has pretty much always slept through, she sleeps more than me sometimes 🤷🏻♀️ I’ve been blessed!
Same we all sleep more now because we actually have a routine lol
Definitely blessed!
I used to absolutely gag changing my niece and nephews dirty nappies, I'm oddly ok changing my daughter's nappies!
It’s so different when it’s your own!
All of it! I’m a single mom with no regular support and people kept saying how hard it would be. My daughter is just about 8 weeks old, and I’m loving every second so far!
That’s amazing
Very lucky in the birth, no tears, no prolapse etc etc.
Same here. I was high risk and so worried/sure there would be complications. Labor was wild going into it not knowing what to expect but I was super fortunate to have it turn out the way I planned/hoped for
Breastfeeding! It was one of the few parts of motherhood that came naturally and with ease, we are just now weaning at 3 yo. Agree about the diapers, and for me labour and delivery was not as bad as I expected, not traumatic despite it being long and extremely painful.
Same!
Poop diapers are only an issue if there is a huge blowout, or after they start rolling away and fighting you. Otherwise, whatever. I LOVED using cloth diapers during the pre-solids phase - the covers keep the soupy breastmilk poops in and all you have to do is throw everything in the wet Bach and then in the wash every few days. It doesn’t really stink and the poop washes right out.
My baby just turned a year old and we are also using cloth nappies! So convenient. I will admit the solids sometime are tricky - blueberry poop are the worst. But I feel it could be worse. So glad I went for it this time round! I do miss the nice smelling breastmilk poops though 😂
Oh my god, blueberry poops. Why does nobody warn us about blueberry poops?!
I don’t want to jinx myself here, but people are always saying babies are expensive. If you just happen to be the last one in your world to have one, it’s not so bad. We were given pretty much everything we needed by friends who were ecstatic to get rid of it. Costco is amazing for diapers and formula. I work nights and husband works early so we are lucky and need limited childcare. We are also lucky and live somewhere where there is a ton of free stuff for kids to do and our parks are amazing. I’m sure things will get more expensive as he gets older, but the initial hit wasn’t as bad as I expected. And I was able to pass along the good fortune and give all of our stuff to a family that needed it!
True. The hand me downs are great. Not excited for daycare charges to start in a couple months though 😅
C section recovery. I was fully expecting to be bed bound for at least a week and be hobbling around after that, but by day 2 I was walking around the hospital room by myself and when I got home on day 3 I was doing small chores, carrying groceries and getting around just fine. Only felt pain if I was on my feet too long or used my abs to get out of bed. I’m almost 3wks pp now and some days I forget I even had the surgery! I think what really helped was getting moving asap
Umm almost everything. I was surprised at myself for my ability to endure a lot after being a mom. I actually enjoy motherhood, but I understand it's only because I don't have a high need child. My child is pretty pleasant to be with and that's why I still have the energy to dance to the wiggles after the long sleepless night tending to her sickness.
We have been constantly told how bad it’s going to get later and… it has literally gotten easier every single day since our daughter was born. Those early days suck, once she could crawl it was awesome, and now she walks and it’s amazing! People are saying that once she talks we will be in trouble… doubt it. Those first few weeks/months are brutal.
I’d rather change a diaper than put some of those outfits on my baby, damn they are annoying and complicated but so cute!
Omg this lol. I’m so glad I have a summer baby and don’t have to deal with dressing a newborn for winter
We have sooo many clothes and I haven’t tried to make a cute outfit once. It’s really just what’s the easiest/most practical
The solids diapers aren’t even as bad as I anticipated—probably because it becomes more “poop-like” slowly as they intake more and more solids gradually. They give you time to acclimate lol
Contact naps aren’t so bad!
I'm the same with nappies but further along. My daughter is 13 mo and still does the odd blow out. My husband can't stand the smell to the point of almost throwing up (he has a super sensitive nose) but I don't find it a big deal. Yeah it smells like actual poop and I can tell from across the room when it's happened, but all I'm thinking about when changing her is keeping her hands out of it 🫠 Also, other people's kids are so much harder because you're not their mummy. We can just sit and chill on the sofa together and have cuddles. Boob still fixes all of life's problems though I try to only do it for sleep.
Agree about the diapers. My cat has bad allergies and is constantly sneezing big boogers and they make me gag. I’d change a blowout over just *look at* one of those boogers any day. All of it though. The hardest part has been my partners behavior. Baby has been just fine
Traveling with a baby! We've done two trips, she's almost 7 months. She sleeps terribly so we're sleep deprived whether we're on vacation or not. But she's such a social baby traveling with her has been so fun, even though it's tiring and obviously harder than when we were just a couple. She's also not an easy baby at all, a lot of stuff has been difficult. She's going through extreme bottle refusal AND distracted feeding. But despite all of it we still have so much fun traveling with her and going to new places I thought it would feel more daunting and less fun, but it's a great time!
This is amazing. We did a quick trip and my guy slept better on that trip than he ever had at home! We are trying to travel internationally next year with him and the logistics of all the things we have to bring stresses me but the idea of bringing him along is exciting
My LO is 10mo and on solids but still his poopy diapers aren't earth shattering. Not fun to deal and definitely way more smelly now lol but not that bad. I'm gonna just say the entire thing. All of it. I've spent a lot of time reflecting over the last 10 months on how society at large essentially led me to believe that life was over after having a baby. For example, how everyone tells you make sure you're done "living life", going to school, having a career, making friends, "finding yourself", and pretty much anything else you can think of before having kids because they make it sound like you'll never have the opportunity again once they're here. However you quickly realize once they're born that it's all a lie and really life is just beginning... Granted, you may need better time management after baby is here but it's definitely not all over for you.
“You’ll never have time for your hobbies or friends ever again” Except I talk to my friends almost every day and I have a weekly game night? I cut out 2 game nights a week and I miss some hangouts for the boy, but it’s not like I never see anyone I care about.
I thought that I would have issues with being depressed or sad after birth, and that I would feel hormonal and all. I had practically none of that, which is nice! Other than that I thought I would be more protective about my baby and wouldn't let people touch him, and wouldn't be okay with going anywhere for months but I am actually pretty chill about close family taking care of him and I am thinking about planning a few days away with my husband when he will be 4+ months old! Also physical recovery from birth has been a breeze for me which is also a pleasant surprise.
For me personally, lack of sleep. That's not to say it hasn't been a struggle, but from the way people talked about it, I expected to basically sleep 1-2 hours a night for the first 5 years of my kid's life. But a bedside bassinet helped enormously during the newborn/infant stage so I didn't have to get out of bed when baby woke up, which made it easier for me to fall back asleep. At 15 months, she's still never fully slept through the night, but I've adjusted to the 2-3 wake-ups she still has at night to nurse (sometimes only once, but she's teething now and has regressed a bit). I just make sure that when she goes to bed at 8:15, I'm in bed by 10:30. She gets up at 7:40, so that means I have a 9 hour block to sleep. Even with those wake-ups, I'm only awake for about 20 minutes total during that time. It's not ideal, but it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
I've found the whole experience hard mentally, and tbh reading some of these comments is making me feel more shit about it
It is very hard mentally, much harder than I expected. Delivery and establishing breastfeeding both times was smoother than expected for me, so I had early wins in the first… two weeks. Everything else has been much harder than I could have possibly imagined.
Don’t worry, I think it was harder mentally than I thought. A lot of people who haven’t found it hard mentally have had lots of family help or their child has started nursery super early. I have a 16 month old and worked with babies before / am a teacher and it has been so much harder mentally than I thought it would be. Some things are easier, nappy changing, breastfeeding etc for example was mentioned. But soo many other unexpected things mentally were harder. It’s not just you! ❤️
You’re not alone. Not the post for me. Next lol.
Most of it, actually. Sure, I’m tired, there is some chaos, my husband and I don’t really have time to be a couple. But I can still function quite well as a person, my husband and I are still getting along well, and I feel generally happy and adjusted. Not that it hasn’t been hard, but I guess I went in with such terrible expectations that I found it better than expected. It also helps that my baby is quite an easy baby, I think. The only part that was worse than expected honestly was labour. I was not prepared for that kind of pain and noped out of my “unmedicated water birth” plan very quickly.
The sleep?? I don’t have a miracle sleeping baby, she wakes 3-5x a night, but for the most part it has not been as bad as I expected. I thought it would be absolutely hellish but tbh I was way more sleep deprived in high school and college 😂
Same here. It’s funny how in pop culture when talking about babies it’s always about “the diapers!” Yet that’s one of the easiest and simple parts of having a baby. I would change 20 poopy diapers a day not to ever have a sick, coughing baby.
Labor and delivery. I was in labor for 60 hours (not an induction either!) and made it 48 hrs unmedicated. I didn’t feel pain during labor. I felt overwhelming physical sensations and it was a gauntlet, but no PAIN. I pushed for 3.5 hrs, had a second degree tear, and was hospitalized for 5 days bc my body took a beating from the tough labor. BUT giving birth was still the best experience of my entire life and I genuinely loved almost every moment. I enjoyed myself!! I found much of it to be fun. I feel no trauma, regret, or negative feelings looking back. So it was an unbelievably hard labor but I would say not nearly as “bad” as I worried it would be
Pretty much everything lol. All moms were like "wait til..." So and so as if it traumatized them and they were trauma dumping on me. . It kinda honestly irritated me the fact they like, wanted to make a new mom to be nervous lol. Not saying all is easy but it's not as bad as they made it out to be.
They told me we wouldn't be able to go out ever again. We go out even more than before having our daughter. Actually, everything is way better than they told us it was going to be.
Yep! And it’s fun to bring the baby out with us
Sleep! Trying to get comfortable and sleep through the night pregnant is way worse for me than baby wake ups.
Sleeping on my stomach again is amazing I didn’t realize how much I missed it
Everyone was soooo dramatic that “life will change and you can’t do anything anymore” In reality, we were ready to slow things down and do not miss the things we wouldn’t do much with a new baby. We love this life 100x more with our child than before it. It wasn’t that dramatic of a change in terms of we’re still bopping around to breweries and restaurants on the weekend, going for walks with our dog, running to Target and Trader Joe’s, going to see friends/familt, etc we just have a lil plus one in tow
That’s amazing! This is what we try to do as well. We had definitely gotten to the point where going out or even to dinner just us two was sort of running its course
Sleep issues, literally only had one child that hit my limit, and my husband stepped in and helped me resolve it. Had so many people tell me, warn me, and still encourage me to love my kids and not be bitter…. They are literally the only ones I love. Go away lol.
Pregnancy and labor and delivery weren’t bad at all. I straight up loved pregnancy 90% of the time. Labor and delivery were so different from what I imagined. The feeling of her leaving my body will stay with me forever. Postpartum has been truly awful though!
Same.. but the solids actually made it easier! They're not big adult poops and they smell like super buttered popcorn. Also I love my snoofy bee changing pad. Also with solids there's no more blowouts!
Caesar recovery and the sleeplessness. I was tired before pregnancy, and I was worried it would be much worse but it's fine 🤷♀️
Sleep has been much better than I thought from about 12 weeks. He’s 1 now. Eating solids however…he does eat but I didn’t expect so many bad meals and throwing food.
My husband was a picky eater so I’m both excited and dreading the food phase
As a mom of a 7 month old, I never thought I'd say I genuinely miss the breastmilk poops. The solid food poops are like adult poop in terms of smell and texture. Not a fan. But I'm very lucky that my daughter sleeps 10 hours straight. I expected to have to get up in the middle of the night to feed her.
I don’t feel like my life has been as restricted as I would’ve thought, I just do what I would want to do with my buddy tagging along. Yes it’s harder but it’s still fun and worthwhile overall.
Pretty much all of it! LO is amazing.
The tiredness/sleep deprivation. Our guy only ever woke once in the nights and even on our worst night we still got 6 total hours of sleep, plus I love taking afternoon naps with him when I can. He’s been sleeping solidly 9-12 hours through the night since 2 months. Hoping if there’s a 4 month regression it’s not too bad.
That’s amazing
The sleep deprivation! We got lucky with a decent sleeper but even from the beginning I’ve never felt zombie exhausted like people told me I would. It helps that my husband was off for the first month with us and he got up at every wake up too. Also breastfeeding. I was so worried I wouldn’t make milk because I had a breast reduction 11 years ago, but it’s been totally fine. We struggled in the beginning to get the latch figured out but by 2 weeks we were doing just fine. I’m shocked tbh!
The newborn phase. I had a fairly easy baby in fairness but he'd sleep 16+ hours a day, only needed bottles and nappy changes and if I put him on the couch he'd just....stay. 9 month old is super cute and fun but soooo much harder
I expected babies to hate diaper changes and cry during them but that was never the case for my twins.
The sleep thing wasn’t nearly as bad as I was led to believe. Sure the beginning wasn’t super excellent and we didn’t have much outside help from family but my son was actually kind of a good sleeper. He’s 14 months now and it’s so so rare that he wakes up. I know this isn’t everyone’s experience but I think we just got a bit lucky.
Diapers! I don’t mind them at all and it’s weird to me that people think they are this huge PITA!
Same! I dreaded it as well and both my bf and I agree that this is the least 'annoying' thing. my boy is now one and a half, so he has solid poops too and honestly, they're not bad at all. Easier to clean up, though a tad more smelly.
Giving birth was very doable and exciting (I did end up hemorrhaging, but before that it was cool.
The sleep! I’m super lucky to have an involved partner and we’re currently breaking up the night into shifts but even with that I still have to pump throughout. Everyone spent my entire pregnancy just waiting me into oblivion over sleeplessness but I feel so much better now than I did then you get used to the lack of sleep and waking up to feed baby is so much better than waking to pee or because of pain
Diapers too. Super easy, barelly an inconveniance.
DIAPERS totally. Once you change it its done.
Pretty much everything lol. All moms were like "wait til..." So and so as if it traumatized them and they were trauma dumping on me. . It kinda honestly irritated me the fact they like, wanted to make a new mom to be nervous lol. Not saying all is easy but it's not as bad as they made it out to be.
I agree! I even get excited for my little guy when he's pooped as I know it's a welcome relief 🤣 Most things have been easier than I thought, other than breastfeeding which has been much harder. All good now though at 15 weeks!
>I hear it gets much worse when solid food is introduced I actually have found solid food made it a lot easier. I mean, the smell is definitely more like adult poop so there's that, but they get more solids once they're on solids, so the clean up is way easier. And the blowouts go away. Barf gets way worse though.
Nothing. It was worse than I thought. Lol. But I don't find toddlers to be as bad as I expected. I love that toddlers have so much personality.
Working from home with a newborn. I didn’t get any maternity leave and while I’m completely exhausted, we’re making it work, I’ve loveddd having her home with me, and baby girl is thriving and ahead on all of her milestones. Still pretty excited for her to start daycare at 6 months though. She gets bored easily (even did as early as 4 weeks) and I’m running out of ideas to keep her stimulated while I work. Can’t imagine what I’d do with her when she’s crawling around everywhere Disclaimer: I have a perfectly healthy, happy baby who eats and sleeps well and rarely cries (only when she needs something and her needs / desires are very predictable). I’m sure this would suck with a more difficult child
Diapers and baby fluids in general. I struggled with contamination OCD most of my adult life and through pregnancy, and now if I get spit up or peed on or whatever, it’s just like “oh that sucks” and I go wash my hands or change my shirt
My post partum body. I don’t mind the changes and feel good about myself.
I did not think I’d like the early days, but looking back, the newborn days were so very sweet. The issue was moreso dealing with my own body recovery than the baby. She was a sweet, sleepy potato and since it was during the holidays there was lots of snuggling with Christmas decor and Hallmark movies.
It seems like everything hasn’t been as bad as people warned me about tbh. I guess it’s good though, I prepared for the worst then was pleasantly surprised (also lucky with a very easygoing baby)
They smell like a truck drivers bad diet when they're toddlers. My daughter leaves biohazards in her diapers and can stink up the whole room 🤣 Somehow they're still less disgusting than the dogs and she eats the same thing every day!
Everything is harder. I have cared for countless babies, I was a live in nanny for a good portion of my life, I’ve been with babies for months. Nothing compares to the little baby I have. Oh boy. She is so difficult!!!
The majority of it past 4-5 weeks: everything else was just easier. I felt a sense of calm after that
Solid food poops are a lot worse. They smell so bad and sometimes travel way further than a milk diaper ever did. :S Finding time isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I thought I would be too busy to take ever again, but I actually have plenty of time because he likes just playing by himself a lot of the time.
The crying. I thought our lives would be miserable but I don't get frustrated 97% of the time, I usually stay pretty calm.
there are a lot of things but honestly toddlerhood is kicking my ass more than i thought infancy would, and it lasts so much longer!
"Touched out" I heard so much about this while being pregnant that I was really concerned about not wanting to kiss or hug my husband once the baby was here. Physical touch is like my #1 love language, so it turns out... I've never had that problem! And I have a Velcro baby! Sometimes I want my husband to take her for a bit when he gets home, but it's not really the same as being "touched out". I am so grateful for it!!
Everybody told me I was gonna have a hard time with the baby because that’s normal. Nope had a unicorn baby and toddler. She slept through the night at 4 months, potty trained at 2 and took only a week and a half. We never had sleep regression, colic, or anything. so it was beyond easy at age 0-3 lol. Now the part that’s hard is she’s almost four and now she has thoughts about everything and anything.
I expected the sleep deprivation to be way harder on me than it was. Don't get me wrong, I had plenty of terrible sleep in that first year. And I wasn't one of those people who said they slept better once they weren't pregnant any more. Newborn (and especially 4 month...and also 5, 6, 8, 9, & 11 month) sleep was WAY worse than pregnant sleep, for me personally. But I remember feeling panicked that I wouldn't be able to handle the sleep deprivation and...I just...did? When I'd finally gotten baby back in the crib and I hadn't even fully fallen asleep before he was awake again, I might whine a little, but my baby needed me, so I just handled it one wake up at a time, and caught up on sleep every opportunity I had, and I just made it through. He's 17 months old now and has been sleeping through the night pretty consistently since he turned 1, and I treasure every night of good sleep, because it definitely sucked when it wasn't there, but it also was nowhere near as bad as I thought it was going to be when I was pregnant and hearing about terrible baby sleep. (And I promise this isn't entirely rose colored glasses about babyhood! I distinctly had the "this isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be" thought while I was in the middle of the sleep deprivation too, haha.)
My baby is almost 5 months and nothing has ever been as bad as people said it would be. I’m not silly, I know she’s still young and there’s a lot of time left for changes - but, I’ve (arguably) found this pretty easy so far… the hardest part was c section recovery, and even that wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but definitely impacted how much I could do with my daughter when she was born, my fiancé done everything
Honestly, the crying. I thought his cries would trigger me more but I have a new type of patience I didn’t know existed until I became a mom.
Going out with the baby is easier than I ever expected, especially once you’re out of the newborn stage. As long as they’re fed, changed, and it’s not close to nap time then it’s a breeze. My son hates the car though, so that sucks, but once we’re out he’s pretty happy. He loves people watching and “helping” me push the shopping cart.
Discipline, especially not “popping” my toddler. It seems like the folks I know incorporate some type of popping their kid, and I was beat with a belt growing up. I think its crazy ppl still hit/pop their kids when there is so much content & practical advice on avoiding that
Two things. Firstly, I've been puked on so. Many. Times. Never thought I'd pick up my son while he was sick so that he would puke on me but it's way better than him puking on his back as a baby and choking. And then I just felt bad for him that he felt so bad. Secondly, I was worried it would be hard to have patience with him. It's not. It is so easy because he is my sweet boy. Parenting is much easier than people make it out to be.
None of it’s that bad. You just have to find your flow with your baby and do what works for you.
My oldest is 5 and still wears pull ups and tbh the poops still don’t bother me. Never done anything different lol!
Honestly, there used to be a lot I can do now as a parent that I never thought I could, especially the gross stuff. I’ve realized that my reactions directly impact how my kids perceive situations, and I want them to be able to handle tough things.
Diapers also! And I’m thankful I didn’t have to bf because making formula bottles is easy. Although there are other downsides to formula, all that is nothing compared to losing sleep which has been the hardest part for me.
Going out with the baby. Not so bad! It helps to be organized and have a diaper bag where you can access things easily. But yeah, going out shopping or to concerts or the library with the kid has been so fun!
The actual having of the baby wasn't as bad as I expected. She also is sturdier than I thought a newborn would be. I've always been terrified of babies but she isn't scary.
I get excited when I see a poopie diaper because I know that means she is healthy and isn’t backed up! I was scared about having to change diapers before giving birth but it doesn’t bother me one bit.
EVERYTHING! i was planning to tolerate motherhood but thought i would be bad at it and didn’t know how i’d keep up energetically. newsflash, self, you are not yourself during an HG pregnancy. so many HG pregnancy silver linings!? -new baby tired has NOTHING on HG tired -working with new baby tired has NOTHING on working with HG tired not only that but i kind of rock at this? i got an easy kid so i know its not all our parenting and nurture but. we’re good parents. i love being a mom. so much. there are occasionally transitions where i’m like oh shit this is new how do i do this (i.e. toddlerhood!!!!! weaning!) but they’ve all passed quickly and i’ve built new parenting muscles along the way. loving my son, parenting. it’s all the easiest (as in it comes naturally) thing i’ve ever done. so glad i did it and so glad (and surprised) i feel up to one more HG pregnancy so i can have one more.
I dreaded the sleep deprivation but love seeing my little baby so much, even in the middle of the night, that I don’t care that much.
Diapers as well. It isn’t nearly as bad as people made it out to be
Noo solid food diapers are a lot easier don’t worry. It’s just one thicker poop easier to remove right off, no liquidy gloopy mess and blow out everywhere.
Taking baby out was not hard for me until baby could and wanted to move on his own. I took my son to the store all the time until he turned 2. Everyone made it seem like a chore to pack up everything for the baby, but I just had a dedicated go bag basically that I regularly maintained.
The lack of sleep! I slept so poorly in my third trimester that my sleep tracker says my sleep actually improved after giving birth! And my kid would be considered a terrible sleeper overall.
Yeah their poop is strangely not gross at all? It doesn’t even smell bad to me and it’s so easy to wipe off, it’s not like real poop. Wondering if I’ll feel the same once we start solids.
I kept getting an “oh just you wait, everything is going to change for you now” in a bad way. The only thing that’s changed is I have a mini me attached to my hip all the time
Literally the ENTIRE newborn stage. Easy as pie, I don’t know why everyone was hell bent on it being difficult. 11 months though… now that’s a challenge 🥲
Both sleep and diapers. I honestly thought I’d never sleep again and be dangerously sleep deprived, but I’m six weeks in and it’s not as bad as I thought. Also, diapers. I thought it would gross me out but it’s totally fine.
First time dad here. I guess I never “expected” my son (or anyone) to sneeze directly into my mouth at any point in my life. He’s almost 6 months old and got his first cold. Yesterday, he sneezed directly into my mouth - twice. I’m certain mucus membranes of some sort were covered. It weirdly didn’t gross me out at all; we both laughed at it (he finds sneezes - both his and others’ - absolutely hilarious). I assume I wasn’t phased by it because 98% of the time I have some sort of his bodily fluid on me, but more so I think he’s just really really cute.
Leaving the house with a baby. I feel its not that hard. Also, I loved being pregnant.
I was worried I would get the good hormones, or not like my baby (I don’t like kids generally). NOPE moment I saw him world shifted - love at first sight. Also people made me believe I would be sad about all the things I can’t do, but now instead I get to do SO MANY NEW THINGS! like babies first everything! Can you imagine what it’s like for EVERYTHING to be new!!! I like singing “I can show you the world@ because I caaaaaannnn!
This might be an unpopular opinion… but I prefer solid food poops over milk poops. Yeah, they smell way worse. But I find them much easier to clean because it’s much thicker and doesn’t get all up in the crevices as much as milk poops do! He’s only 10 months though. Maybe I don’t have enough experience to be saying this so early 😂
Diapers too! But as someone who used to not rrally like kids, i expected to be more annoyed at the disturbances. Turns out even the crying is music to my ears. I dont mind doong anything and everything for my baby,he is so lovely and time with him is really... I dont even know how to describe it, intimate, fragile, funny...
Yes, diapers were fine!! I was worried about post-food diapers too but those weren’t really that bad. It was the post-food vomiting that was way worse. My husband and I both had a lot of adrenaline after coming home from the hospital so we found the first two weeks shockingly easy? It helped that we were both off work for that time and I had a 1 year Mat leave. (Canadian here) I did struggle at around the 6 week mark feeling bored and isolated, though.
First time mom here- diapers for sure, even after introducing solids (I braced myself for the worst and still, it’s not that bad), but also just being covered in spit up/bodily fluids 24/7. When I was pregnant the thought of a baby peeing or spitting up on me grossed me out so hard. But it’s just not the same when it’s your own kid. Gross still, yes, but tolerable.
6 months old and her poops aren’t terrible with the solids. She’s never had diaper rash, never shit or pee that leaked out of the diaper and soaked the bed. I’m tired yeah, but people made it seem like it would be so chaotic. She has always slept through the night since about 8 weeks old.
Definitely the diapers. Everyone seemed to complain about it so much so that people want to potty train their kids before they could even talk! It's literally the easiest part about babies. You change their diaper maybe 6-8 times a day when they are younger and maybe 5 times a day as they get older
Baby stuff isn't hard, trying to do anything else while having a baby with you is hard. Newborn phase was much easier for me than the 10mo old-1year phase though. They just sleep so much
Newborn phase wasn't that hard She sleep . Poo , eat . Didn't really need entertaining. Could do house work during day and watch tv show Know she 5 month I don't stop and can't get any adult jobs done till she goes to bed
I am disgusted by poop but baby poop doesn't bother me. It's pretty much milk anyway. As a mom you're going to get poo and urine on you at some point. Not to mention spit up milk. For me it was the sleeping. My son slept lovingly well. I only hope my daughter is as good a sleeper.
Basically everything. It’s hard, sure, but not nearly as hard as people made it seem. One specific thing I’ll call out is my relationship with my husband. The amount of people who made it seem like we would hate each other (or at least I would hate him) had me terrified for our relationship. I love and like this man so much more post baby. We have significantly less time alone together which has its challenges, but I wouldn’t trade this phase of life and getting to share it with him for the world.
The "being touched out" concept. Maybe it's just because I'm a big cuddler and my husband is NOT at all, but I literally cannot be touched out. Even when I'm holding my 4 month old and my toddler is hanging onto my leg, I'm fine. It's only when they're all screaming and my husband is trying to talk to me that I get sensory overload lol.
Pretty much everything. Social media scared the shit out of me and I thought that motherhood, especially in the newborn stage, would be soul sucking. Turns out my baby is extremely cute and I don't mind things that sounded horrendous before I gave birth to her, such as waking up at an inconvenient time to feed her or wiping her poopy butt. Is taking care of a baby difficult? At times, yes. But people often find difficult things enjoyable, or at least worthwhile.
Giving birth was pretty easy for me. I know that’s not everyone’s experience. But I actually kinda enjoyed it 🤷 I did have an epidural.
Almost everything. It's been so magical and not really hard tbh
Baby, everything lol like people made babies sound so dramatic. I mean aside from the sleep or lack there of, nothing has been crazy. However TODDLERS. WTF. Like let's stop rambling about infants and talk about toddler sleep. Toddler eating. Toddler behvaior. This shit is WILD. And it seems like no one seems to bother telling anyone about it until you go UHM IS THIS NORMAL?! And other toddler parents are like "haha...yeah 😫" lmao
Lack of sleep doesn’t affect me as much as I thought it would
Sleep. I thought I’d get zero but actually I did sleep it was just adjusting to fragmented sleep.
The sleepless nights. I really loved my sleep and couldn’t function well without proper sleep pre-baby, so I dreaded the interrupted sleep. Baby is 2 months old now, I found that even though I’m sleep deprived and can’t function well, I’m more than willing to wake up multiple times at night and happy to spend time with my darling boy.
The crying. Granted my LO doesn't cry often and is pretty happy. But I've found that I remain very patient and calm in scenarios where she is crying.
As many others in here have said: EVERYTHING. Including pregnancy, labor, and the newborn stage. My pregnancy was uncomfortable and labor didn’t go as planned - but the way people speak about these things, they expect you to have some degree of trauma from it. Especially C-sections/birth. I planned to have a natural unmedicated birth at home, and ended up in a C-section at the hospital because my babe was unknowingly breech and I was in labor for three days lol. Despite that, the whole experience was literally my happiest memory. It was so beautiful. Having a C-section was in no way bad for me or traumatic. The recovery wasn’t NEARLY as bad as people on the internet convinced me it would be. Yes, you’re a little less mobile (which made breastfeeding slightly more challenging) but if you do your best to rest, you will heal well. I didn’t even need to use the narcotics for post-op pain management, just Tylenol and advil. And when it came to the newborn stage as a FTM, I never once wished it away or felt like I was suffering. In fact I never wanted it to end. Those night feedings with my newborn when all the world was sleeping and it was just me and him are some of my most cherished memories. Yes I was tired and recovering from a surgery, but it’s like the joy I had overrode any of the hardships of parenthood. Motherhood is truly beautiful even when it’s difficult at times. I wish more moms had taken the opportunity to dump their positivity into me rather than their trauma. Because it is so so much better than I ever imagined.
Can I say HOW MUCH it bothers me when people will post pics of THEIR baby’s blowout and be like “hErEs Ur BiRtH cOnTroL.”. like yes, I think seeing anyone’s baby’s blowout on my news feed is disgusting but didn’t keep me from having a baby. In fact, I have been covered in my baby’s monstrous blowout, and didn’t even bat an eye. Btw- we just started solid foods and surprisingly it’s not *that* much worse. His breast milk mustard poos are kinda just solidifying more, and smell a little. but; nothing to freak over.
The noise isn't as bad as I thought. I'm very sensitive to sound but his crying and whining don't bother me as much as I thought it would. But I'll say the sleeping is significantly worse than I thought.