Honestly I’m just going to validate you. After my first my body went back to pretty much exactly how it was before I had a baby. I should’ve appreciated that more.
Now after my second my stomach muscles quit so I still have a gut, my pelvic muscles are shot and I have to do exercises so I don’t pee myself, and my rib cage is wider than it used to be.
It was much cooler when my body just went back to its usual self instead of all this other nonsense. I think it’s okay to just say it sucks that our bodies go through so much and then we also have to deal with recovery afterwards and having to accept that some changes are permanent.
i hear this happens when you have babies at a younger age vs an older one, for example having one at 21 and the other at 31, i think the body doesn't react the same way maybe? i'm sure it's different for everyone though
I think it’s different for everyone. I know a girl who had her first baby at 19 and ended up with stretch marks and some loose skin, I had both of mine in my 30s and didn’t have either.
Apparently younger mom’s are more prone to stretch marks because presumably their skin has less “give”. So your anecdote actually makes a lot of sense.
I think it could be that (older vs younger) or just the fact that it was my second and my body had already been put through it you know? My body just like gave up lol
I had my first at 31 and my second at 38 so there was sizable gap.
Definitely just luck in terms of stretch marks, had my first at 34 zero stretch marks and 5 months PP you wouldn't have had any clue I had a baby. A lot of people don't train their muscles back to strength (I'm absolutely not criticizing anyone for this, just how it is a lot of the time, mamas are busy!).
I feel you, also 5’2” and had a 9.5lb baby… My stomach is so fucked - wrinkly and soooo many stretch marks.
I’m 3.5 months postpartum and i know it will get somewhat better with time but I also know that the stretch marks are here to stay… and my stomach is COVERED.
My sister in law keeps pressuring me to come swimming in their pool… I’m like, uhhhh not there yet girl!
Same with my first, I got like 5 total, and most were after I'd given birth, I was like yeeesssss!!! 😁🥳
Got pregnant again a year later, had him at 36w and now I'm a purple zebra... Both of them were 6lb something so not even big babies 😮💨😕
I’m also 5’2 and my stomach was huge, but somehow I didn’t get a single stretch mark on my stomach. Meanwhile I got these big purple stretch marks all over my back / butt / hips, I have no idea how my body works out where stretch marks appear.
I’m 5’4” and I had twins..both 6.5 pounds. I’m 8 months post partum and I still have 20 pounds to lose despite dieting and exercising since January. I feel like I have no fucking hope and my stomach is going to look like a wrinkly ballsack if I ever lose the weight
Actually I got one stretch mark on my belly button during pregnancy and at 6 months, the past few months it’s faded significantly on its own! So there is hope it’ll get better!
My belly randomly got waaaaay better about a month ago. He’s 6 months now. So it may surprise you soon how fast things go back to closer to where they’re supposed to be lol.
Skin wise… that’s just how it mostly. But overall shape should improve more for you soon I hope.
I'm more like, what up with people with not-to-saggy boobs, though? I mean good for them, but mine went up to a M-cup (yes, apparently they exist. Didn't know that before). I mean, how does that even work? How did you guys do it?!
I barely had any boobs to begin with ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I didn’t even fill out an A cup before pregnancy. They got a bit bigger with pregnancy and breastfeeding, and when I weaned they shrunk down to almost nothing. Can’t be saggy if there’s nothing to sag 🙃
For me, I had almost no breast growth in pregnancy, so no saggy boobs. But that also meant I had insufficient glandular tissue and produced 20 ml of milk per day, even with the Herculean effort that is triple feeding. Trade offs I guess
I've always gained weight in my boobs, so mine got even larger in pregnancy and postpartum and yet I *still* didn't have sufficient milk supply. That's just where my body stores fat.
Same! I was an A cup before pregnancy, during pregnancy, and after pregnancy. But I also couldn’t produce more than 10 ml at a time and after consulting with SO many lactation consultants one finally told me that I probably didn’t develop enough breast tissue to produce milk during the pregnancy. Also, f triple feeding.
I have been breastfeeding for 8 months. I never felt my boobs sore during pregnancy and they just… never grew? I was in DD bra before getting pregnant and I am in DD bras still. No supply issues though, never supplemented.
Don’t worry though, I got stretch marks and a mom pouch from pregnancy still.
My pre-pregnancy boobs have looked like post-breastfeeding boobs my whole life. I don’t anticipate they have improved in appearance with pregnancy and breastfeeding so I’m planning to simply never look at them again. 🤷♀️
I mean, mine were like a B cup. Then they grew to size of small watermelons, had like a 100 stretchmarks that eventually connected into one giant stretch mark. And even after coming back to their initial size after I stopped breastfeeding, they seem to be sagging _through_ the thin stretched skin. Yuck.
Aaand it all got worse with my second. I really hope they at least shrink back again after I stop being milked. But it’s just a sad, sad sight.
Same. I hate how my stomach looks now. I carried 13 lbs of baby (twins) so no way was I going to look good after that. I just want a tummy tuck before I get too old.
Go to a good surgeon and leave a little bit of give. Almost every woman with a tummy tuck I’ve seen has had to have more invasive abdominal surgery because we couldn’t insufflate the abdomen because the plastic surgeon tightened them down so much I’m surprised that they could stand up straight. It makes me think I’ll just live with the pooch.
Thanks for this, I had no idea. We are going to try one more time but after that…. Mom’s getting her boobs and stomach done.
Nothing crazy but I’m putting things back where they go damnt lol.
Shapewear isn’t an option for me. I feel trapped and panicked in that stuff.
Applause for carrying twins 👏 I can’t even imagine. You moms of multiples seriously deserve all the recognition because I swear I’m drowning and was in so much pain just carrying my one baby.
High waisted leggings/jeans hide a lot! I work out a lot so my frame looks better but I have the saggy pooch and saggy boobs for life. I’m honestly in the screw it part of my life where if someone judges it I know they probably suck as a person anyway. But yeah mind boggling to me the women who have the same skin after. Like how.
My SIL gained like 150 pounds and had stretch marks from her ankles to her arms just covered completely really, a few years later she is a bigger woman but the skin went back to normal, you can’t tell she ever had the stretch marks minus a few light ones on her belly button area. It took like 2 years really for her skin to heal/go back to normal.
I had the opposite effect I had HG with my pregnancies and couldn’t eat, hospitalized often and it took me over a year to not look anorexic after birth each time. I mean if you’ve seen the twilight series, I looked like Bella with the skeletor+basketball belly look. People assumed I was on drugs or had a severe eating disorder, and by people I mean even MY OWN family. I passed out many times because I couldn’t keep food down and obviously to some people that looks like a pregnant drug addict. One of my daughters had IUG and had to come early, thankfully unharmed. I just couldn’t even eat a single cracker, couldn’t drink a sip of water. I had 3 ulcers. Everything felt like battery acid in my throat and no medication helped. I would’ve happily traded my “skinny” body for a healthy/chunky one honestly. I still kinda hate food now, almost 2 years since the last pregnancy.
Also, I still had stretch marks 🤣 even tho I was skinny and my skin looked normal right after, they showed up like months after the baby didn’t even notice them with all the vomiting
I wish my issue was stretch marks, I do have some but they don’t bother me. But no, I have one of those mommy aprons and a bunch of really wrinkly lose skin, nothing but a tummy tuck will repair that I think.
Know what you mean. I had my first kid super young, at 19, she was only 7lb and I still didn’t “bounce back”. My skin stretched beyond repair and my stomach is a wrinkly saggy mess.
Four kids now and my stomach muscles are separated, boobs sagging, even my butt is gone.
Meanwhile I’ve got friends and cousins who look the same (better even!) in bikinis and crop tops and I’m super jealous.
In a couple of years I’ll do a tummy tuck and boob job and hopefully finally like what I see in the mirror! 🙃
My stomach is wrecked too, thanks to a giant fibroid that went nuts with the pregnancy hormones. I will need 3 surgeries to put me back together after the second pregnancy because of what it did to me. These are:
1) Myomectomy (done, not cancer, yay!)
2) Groin hernia repair (done with mesh this week, now recovering)
3) Umbilical hernia repair (I will probably include an ab gap repair with this to improve stability of the hernia repair and maybe remove loose skin out of pure vanity if everything is anyway opened up)
So, yeah. I didn't make it through two pregnancies very well either.
Ugh. With you on the umbilical hernia. Looks like I have a walnut sticking out of my belly button. Not cute. I’ll get it repaired hopefully soon? And that along with the saggy boobs and mom pooch — it’s hard to come to terms with where my body is :(
I'm off to Fiji in Oct and trying to work up the courage to take this white as fuck, saggy, 100kg bod out for a spin. I keep telling myself, no-one is going to be judging you. You're a dime a dozen - there will be loads of non-beach ready bods on display. But I'm still so nervous.
Upside - I can breastfeed my baby leaning over his carseat, so I won't even have to take him out on the plane to get business done 😆😆
My oldest (8 years) asked me recently why my tummy looks like it does, and why I have to wear 'nappies' when I have a cold so I don't pee on the floor. I arched my brow and looked at him and his brother. That's why 😆
I feel this. I also had a “large amount of amniotic fluid”, am 5’0”, and delivered an 8lb baby. I was very petite before and gained 45 lbs throughout my pregnancy (which I’m still 15lbs over my pre pregnancy weight). I have so many stretch marks despite using all the lotions, creams, gels, oils, whatever the heck things other people “swore” prevented stretch marks. My pelvic floor is wrecked (currently in physical therapy for it), I still have a mild diastasis recti, and my lower back is royally f*cked. I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted pre-pregnancy and stay the same weight but now I swear even with consciously eating healthier and exercising I still struggle to lose/maintain weight. I’m grateful for my body for giving me my amazing baby boy but god is it hard some days to embrace and love this “new body” of mine. Especially when everyone swore up and down I’d “bounce right back” because I was so fit and petite to begin with.
Stretch marks are genetic. All those creams and shit are bs. They might keep your skin moisturized but thats it. I bought into it when I had my daughter in 2014, I used oils and creams everyday and I had no stretchmarks. Then someone told me it was genetic so I tested that theory with my son. I didn't use a single cream and don't have a single stretch mark. I am 5'1, I started at 125 ended at 170, and my son was 9.5lbs. Even with my massive baby, I didn't get one. So I am convinced that they're genetic and we should boycott all of those companies that try and tell us otherwise.
Also, don't lose hope. Your body does bounce back eventually. It takes a year maybe a little more but the weight loss stuff is absolutely because your hormones are wacko rn. I know it's hard but it all just takes time to go back to normal.
Keep in mind for many of us what you don’t see is 9 months of vomiting and weight loss instead of weight gain during pregnancy. People constantly comment about how good I look after pregnancy, it’s because I lost 30 pounds and would have died without nausea medication and IV fluids.
Every woman with that level of nausea and vomiting during pregnancy deserves a fucking monument in my opinion. I'm not old enough to be president but when I am, let me know where you want yours.
This so accurately reflexes the bias that skinnier is always better. I got compliments about how “thin/good I looked” when I was a few months postpartum and the reason was that I was starving those first few months of breastfeeding and had nobody to help feed me or remind me to eat. I struggled really hard to eat and ended up deficient in several minerals and vitamins. And I was dealing with PPD, PPA, and a lack of family support. So when we see thinner women postpartum we should always extend the benefit of the doubt that there could be pain underneath what we see on the surface.
Not during pregnancy, but I used to get so many compliments about being healthy in my ED, cigarettes and coffee and nothing for days-days, and even comments that I seemed healthier than compared to now, eating whole foods, lifting, running, and yoga every week and never been healthier in mind body or spirit but wearing a size 8-10 instead of a 2. 🙄
We should as a culture just stop commenting on people's bodies all together, lol. So many people with EDs are egged on my compliments unbeknownst to the people saying them! Health is not really visible to the naked eye.
I’m so sorry because those kinds of comments are *especially* harmful to people with ED’s. It pretty much actively encourages a person to secretly continue their ED behaviors because they’re getting this positive feedback from people who can’t keep their mouths shut. I’m very passionate about it cause I know how hard it can be to work through an ED. I’m happy for you that you’re doing so great now and I wish you the best as you continue on. 💗
This is so true! I’m 5’2 and bounced back to 117lb pretty quickly but I always and still do feel weird when ppl complement my weight. My baby just turned 1 and I’m still breastfeeding and still find times when I forget to eat. The first few months postpartum I don’t think I ate at all. I completely lost my butt so it literally hurts my tail bone to sit for extended periods of time. I’m trying to rebuild all my muscle mass that was lost. I know it’s different for everyone but similar to what you said, thinner doesn’t always equal happy.
I always inform people of this and kinda shrug and say “silver lining I guess”
I was a shell of a person from week 6 until 16. Couldn’t eat, always in the hospital, bedridden most days was on disability at work. Even after I stopped puking the way baby was positioned + heartburn kept me from ever eating much anyhow.
Like yeah I’m still small but it came at insane cost to my health and both physical and mental wellbeing
Thanks for mentioning this! I dropped quickly below my pre pregnancy weight after birth because I could barely eat the entire time. Also my baby was IUGR and I looked, at the most, 7 months pregnant when I was induced at 37w. It wasn’t fun having people comment on how tiny I was when the cause of it was a high risk pregnancy.
Same girl. When you’re dealing with IUGR and people are commenting about how tiny you look, it makes you feel like you’re doing something to harm the baby. Was so awful to hear those comments
I had HG super bad for probably 4 months and lost 20 lbs but then gained a huge amount of weight within 2 months of it clearing up 😭 I still haven’t lost the weight
Same here. I was puking up until my water broke and even threw up a few times in labor. I refused to do the nausea medication this time because my first kid has autism and I'm not sure if the Zofran caused it so throughout my whole pregnancy I was pretty limited on what I could eat. I had insane heartburn after 7th month too. The doctors also thought that the baby might not be growing properly inside me too. He was the 11th percentile and the 10th and under is considered IUGR so my baby was borderline on that. Yeah I look good but still, I would have rather gained more weight and known my baby was healthy. He came out healthy but I was worried for months over a few different scares like a heart murmur and the IGUR.
I had an amazing first pregnancy, felt good, I had good appetite, some cravings. I was well rested. Easy newborn, happy during the day and really good sleeper. 4m pp I was ~8kg above my pre-pregnancy weight (gained a bit during breastfeeding - I mean I was HUNGRY), started exercising, lost it within several months. Good times.
Second baby, shitty pregnancy, house renovations + toddler + constant shortness of breath = I was usually too tired to get up from the couch to fix myself a meal. Then postpartum anemia and lack of appetite, I had to force myself to eat anything. High-need baby that screams whenever he’s awake and not held (and even then). So whenever he fell asleep (on me of course), I’d listen to my stomach and think about eating, but wouldn’t dare move. Because it’s better than the screaming. Then several illnesses later (daycare), constant work with house renovations (still ongoing), two kids (now both mobile) - yeah I’m back to pre-pregnancy weight, but I don’t exercise so my body doesn’t look or feel nice, I’ve got pelvic floor issues etc.
It was so much nicer to have a chance to work for it, than to “bounce back”. The process of “bouncing back” was/is worse. People compliment me on it but it’s not something I consider an accomplishment, it’s a reminder of a very difficult 18 months.
My body looks the same after pregnancy — and it’s because I was anorexic 🫠 baby ended up being fine thank god, he was a good weight & barely made full term. But of course right after everyone complimented me on how little weight I gained and how skinny I was again. I was 20 lbs lighter than when I got pregnant. So all of that is to say, yes it’s not always a good thing.
Same, I was so sick I could barely make it up and down the steps of my house. I gave birth at an underweight BMI because I could not keep food down and had GD. I felt so guilty for my daughter’s low birth weight because I couldn’t get enough calories for her. She’s an absolutely perfect 7 month old now thankfully.
Yup. This is me. I was soooo so sosososoosos sick carrying my twins. My boys are healthy but damn they sucked every last nutrient out of me.
Then once they were born it’s like running a marathon every day giving them what they need and pumping enough and I don’t have time to eat!!!!
I got the snap-back belly and I look good now. But even 20 years ago I and probably both my boys would not have survived.
It’s funny because my priorities have shifted and I don’t care what my body looks like. I’m just happy we are here together.
5'1 powerlifter, for before pregnancy, strict diet. I'm 4 years postpartum and still feel the same as you. 8lb 13oz baby, ab separation, super wrinkly gut. I can't help but compare myself to others. I absolutely hate the way I look. I had body dysmorphia before I was pregnant too.
Hey powerlifting mom, I see you. I am also a powerlifter, competed at 8w pregnant with my first, haven’t competed since but I’m 16m postpartum with my second and still lifting. Cheers to being strong, looks aside!
Yeah. Agreed. and I had a 6lbs baby at 5'7; it shouldn't BE this bad. My boobs are the balloons after the after-party variety, and I'm still just bulky.
I can appreciate a beautiful woman walking by me; I'll think 'she's gorgeous, good for her'. But if I see a beautiful woman walk by me with a pram, all I think is 'Fuck you', lol.
My mom bounced back well after pregnancy and looked great after two babies but she had extra skin around her belly. She never hid it and still rocks a bikini as a 60 year old. Growing up I wondered why she never hid her belly with a one piece. But now I am a mom of two and my belly looks just like hers. I wish I had the belly I had before but I am learning to embrace it and not hide it. I want my daughter to see my belly. She may wonder why I don’t hide it but I hope someday she’s proud that I loved my body and what it did for me. I’m still human though, living in this society, so I still fight a lot of self doubt and judgement of my body for being “imperfect”. Some days are hard and others are easy.
This! My body, especially the stomach, looks and feels how I remember my mom’s body felt growing up. Soft and secure. I’ve been so much more comfortable in my skin and letting my belly out in crop shirts or a nursing bra and high-waist bottoms. It’s also just comfortable. I don’t have the energy to hide and only wear what’s flattering. Almost 12 weeks pp.
You can find every reason you want for not having your "ideal" body after pregnancy. But it won't erase the fact that you don't know everyone's life. A precursor - I gained a lot of weight postpartum so I have no skin in this game lol. My friends that are thin after pregnancy all had terrible HG during pregnancy and never gained weight. I'd rather be fat than puking.
Some of us really do get the short end of the straw, though. I hardly gained any weight during my second pregnancy because I had a strict gestational diabetes diet. I got screwed over by a massive fibroid (11 cm) that tore apart my abdominal wall bad enough to require surgical repair post-pregnancy.
I would rather be fat and puking than 'broken'.
Yes fat and puking sounds preferable to that. Sorry you went through that. It's hard enough having a newborn let alone going through surgery on top of that.
2 pregnancies both plus size pregnancies, C-sections, big baby, thyroid issues.
You're not alone in having a "perfect body"
But don't forget, comparison is the theft of joy
I need about 150k of plastic surgery to get back to the body I had before babies 😕. I’m literally over here pretending to myself that I’m somehow going to find that money too.
No body that’s made so much life and love could ever be ugly!
And as one of those women who sees to just bounce back immediately- for me it’s hyperthyroidism, and it isn’t as easy as it might look from the outside. I’m sure you understand that having thyroid issues yourself.
Having babies and dealing with how we feel about our bodies postpartum is something difficult and that we all have to navigate. Solidarity in that, I’m really going through it too.
Yah was in the same boat, also being a SAHM with one income households = not having a lot of disposable income so I can’t just spend all my families money on new clothes that fit my body / make up/ hair products. Means I often look like an actual troll.
As a fellow shorty (I’m 4’ 11”) it’s generally just harder for us to loose weight. Just know, a lot of it is genetics and damn, I wish I had those genes lol
I didn’t know you could gain weight breastfeeding until I did. 😨 I went up 20lbs after giving birth, and then another 20-25 while stress eating to cope with losing both my parents within 2 years.
My kid’s eight now and I haaaate where I am but as another short person who is now experiencing perimenopause it is a fucking *struggle* to make progress. Sometimes I wish I could just get something like ozempic or whatever :(
5'2 as well. My first was 9lbs 1. My second 8lbs 5. I had them 14 months apart. My stomach is sooooo wrinkly and I'm a year postpartum so I am assuming it's not going to firm up more than this. With you in solidarity!
Same girlie. I am 5ft 3 and had a 8lb 4oz and a 10lb 4oz, the loose skin on my belly is just not going to go anywhere back to being normal again without surgery and it’s really starting to bother me!
I just avoided seeing my sister because she's had two kids, runs 35 mile marathons, and still looked it a month pp. I'm at 9 months pp and look 4 months pregnant still. I'm trying, but been sick a lot. I just can't handle comparing myself to her right now... or hear the well-meaning advice she and mom would throw at me once they see how little I've lost. 🫠
Don't be in awe! You never know what the person had to do to get that body. I weigh 15lbs less after my 2nd pregnancy than before. I look great. But it's because I developed gestational diabetes during my 2nd pregnancy and it never went away. I would rather weigh more and be able to enjoy a pizza night with my family. One of my favorite weekend activities used to be going to a nice coffee shop getting a fun latte and splitting some pasties with my husband and son. I'll never be able to do that again.
It's a good lesson to care less about what you look like and enjoy life and your healthy family. I wish I realized it before it was for medical reasons.
I have diastis recti and feel so disgusting, my sons 18 months old and I was pregnant with my daughter before that too, and I still look 8 months pregnant… so I completely feel you. I look at my friends who have had kids and think “HOW?” But admittedly, a lot of them have older kids and they had children young. My body is older and I guess just took more damage.
But - I hear you, I see you. I commiserate. Our bodies are beautiful too momma.
If it makes you feel better I look good after having “kid” singular but it’s hard to imagine I will after another! My son is 13 months and I dropped the weight quickly, struggled with a shelf from my emergency c-section a bit but was soon decent looking but definitely what they called “skinny fat” in my day.
I got seriously back into my fitness bc I know I’ll plan a c section next time, and i’m at a higher risk for preeclampsia and postpartum preeclampsia after my first experience. I want to go into the pregnancy as strong as possible.
I’m very strict about my routine but I find it hard to imagine I’ll have time to lift 3x per week and cardio 4x per week when I have more than one!
But yeah I’m wearing a crop top every day until I get pregnant again as a gift to myself!
People think I bounce back easy, but it’s just because all my weight is in my love handles and I hide those under high wasted flowy skirts. I promise it’s not all sunshine and roses over here 😂😂😂 My stomach might look “flat” but my love handles are out of control 😭😭
I felt like this post partum.
157 cm and 80 kilos, with hypothyroidism and hashis - was so unhappy, and call me selfish but yea that is one of the reasons ( there are multitudes) of why I am one and done.
I only started losing weight when my husband and I switched to a low cholesterol diet ( because of him) and that was 2 years after my son was born.
I had my kids in my late 30s back to back. My body is a mess. They are 4 and 6 now and I’m slowly losing weight. Very slowly. But my stomach is just now permanently the largest part of me. I don’t think that’s ever going away. And I’m just old so it’s hard to tell if it’s old age or just me never recovering. The worst part for me is the hemorrhoids. My butt is just gross inside now and it’s a cute butt so it’s a shame it will never be fixed lol.
Trust me, I don't particularly liked looking "good" again immediately PP.
I had HG and lost weight instead of gaining for like 17 weeks. Then my son was a giant so my stretchmarks still cover my belly from above the navel to my upper legs and over my ass. I had an emergency/urgent c section so a scar from that which people ignore because they can't see it. I nearly died giving birrh due to HELLP and lost 10 of the 12 kg I gained immediately upon delivery since all of it was water weight and baby weight.
26h after, I was walking, peeing/pooping and showering alone and walking to NICU, sitting/standing beside baby and being beside for washing and such. I was off of all pain meds by day 3.
I didn't even look pregnant anymore. I had no baby. By day 3 I had no more pain. And I had no baby, since they were in NICU. I would have loved being bigger/still having a baby belly.
I feel you. I only have one kid and he's still a baby, 8 months, but he was 21.5 inches long and I had an absolute monster of a placenta. Like it was almost as bad delivering my baby it was that big. I've lost weight sure, but my stomach has tons of loose skin and is just bigger. I genuinely always look like I'm about 5 months pregnant. It sucks.
A few of my friends that have had babies have lost all the weight, bur honestly most haven't. And everyone I know that's had a baby has experienced body changes. Looser skin, bigger thighs and arms, less head hair, saggy breasts, smaller butt's. I do believe it's not possible to walk away from a pregnancy and huge life adjustment as becoming a parent and look the same. Some people get closer to their pre pregnancy bodies because they have the health, money, resources, time and support to do so.
I'm 4'9 and had a baby with a 6'2 man. My body is WRECKED. we have a pool party this Saturday and I'm trying to find a one piece that covers my new kangaroo pouch.
Immediately after my first baby I went back to how i looked before and was so thrilled. And then the stress of struggling with breastfeeding, getting no sleep, panicking over every little thing, cause the constant comfort eating and I regained all the weight I had while pregnant. After a year, I stopped breastfeeding and decided I was gonna get serious about losing the weight. Well wouldn't you know my body decided to get knocked up 🙃 so now i have the added weight from comfort eating PLUS a new baby on the way. Let's hope I can control myself after this one is born and get back to a healthier weight lol
I feel you, i had my first baby at 21 ( i am 5’2) and he was the smallest of my 3 boys at almost 9lb, i have had loose skin and split muscles since. It traumatized me but i learned to accept it. I don’t like it and run away from the mirror like its the devil. In the end though i love my kids and would not take my unchanged body back but it is hard for sure.
My first full term successful pregnancy was at 34. I turned 35 soon after his birth.
I’m 6 months in and just now losing the apron. (C section), and I doubt it will ever be the same. I’m happier than I was but it’s still a mental adjustment getting used to my new softness around the middle.
Birthing babies is HARD on us! And you had a WHOPPER of a baby lol.
I think for some of us it just takes more time to get back or to a place we’re happier. Genes, fitness level before and during pregnancy, and LUCK dictates so much.
My body went back to "normal" but I was overweight to begin with. I'm thinner than I was before my daughter, but still considered overweight. I never experienced being cute lol. All of my stretch marks were there long before my daughter. (But my husband likes me. That's enough for me).
I had a c section 17days ago and I HOPE I’m one of those women you hate 😭 I’m afraid I’m not going to be though lol. I’m not sure if my still belly is still normal but I just hope it goes away. Not excited about having to get the doctors ok to exercise but I’m going to wait of course. Oh and yeah I’ll probably have the saggy boobs too once I stop breast feeding. Maybe I’ll be on of those moms who try to keep going for a year just so my boobs will look good whenever my body kinda catches up 😅
I feel ya. For me the hypothyroidism, undiagnosed for a year at least, made recovering to my pre-baby self impossible. I definitely feel jealous of my friends who seemed to pop right back with little effort.
FWIW, you are probably your own worst critic. And being overweight or having loose skin does not make you ugly 😌
The secret to staying thin for me was profuse, unrelenting nausea and vomiting for 9 solid months through both pregnancies. My net weight gain was negative after baby was born because they sucked up all my nutrients and reserves.
Pregnancy can be hard for a lot of reasons, sometimes the women with hot bodies after pregnancy had easy pregnancies and good genetics, or maybe they had unknown complications.
Im only saying this to provide perspective cause there are so many variables that we forget about or aren’t familiar with.
I had two c sections, developed hypo after my first. Metabolism completely stopped working.
I feel you. I feel so ugly and wish my husband would understand.
That being said, I still want a third lol
I have a good body after giving birth and I got back into the shape but I feel like because of that I didn’t have enough of milk( I understand your concern but if you have a supportive partner, please please don’t worry about it right now
I feel like it’s genetics. Do you resemble your mother post birth? Don’t hate on the mama’s snapping back they can’t help it , or they are extremely dedicated to it. I’m extremely dedicated to being fit but it took me legit 2 years to get back to pre baby shape. My pelvis is jacked I get pains and pee myself , weird hip pains, ass is flat, but I literally snapped back but in 2 years. I worked really hard. I’m still trying so hard. Some people snap back without any effort. Don’t be the salt of the sea, sometimes what’s on the outside isn’t the reflection of inside. That skinny ass mom might be severely depressed and not eating. Or has a husband/partner who doesn’t help at all and she stressed as hell. It’s not a thing worth being jealous over and it’s not some award they deserve for how they look. I’m sure your kids are super happy and cared for. I hope you’re in a happy healthy partnership. That’s what matters. View it differently don’t be caught up on the body, it’s just a body. Also, fully support some medical assistance to feel good if you can and want. No shame sister. Mommy make overs help lots of women feel their best. No shame there either.
My wife went straight to working out a few months after having our son, she was worried about her stomach but now she’s got her stomach back, abs, and strength back. We went through IVF and had a difficult pregnancy and ended up with a gorgeous son.
She’s never been one to be jealous of body types but I do know she mentioned her stomach being loose after the pregnancy but she just like…exercised, but then again my wife is a very determined person.
Yeah, they work really hard. Before, during, and after pregnancy. It's not magic. Be honest. If you really wanted to look good, you would. But cakes are nice, right?
I have hypo from pregnancy - you can do it! You just have to essentially starve yourself, if you have hypo you need a lot less calories, and combine that with deep deep core workouts like Pilates
Honestly I’m just going to validate you. After my first my body went back to pretty much exactly how it was before I had a baby. I should’ve appreciated that more. Now after my second my stomach muscles quit so I still have a gut, my pelvic muscles are shot and I have to do exercises so I don’t pee myself, and my rib cage is wider than it used to be. It was much cooler when my body just went back to its usual self instead of all this other nonsense. I think it’s okay to just say it sucks that our bodies go through so much and then we also have to deal with recovery afterwards and having to accept that some changes are permanent.
i hear this happens when you have babies at a younger age vs an older one, for example having one at 21 and the other at 31, i think the body doesn't react the same way maybe? i'm sure it's different for everyone though
I think it’s different for everyone. I know a girl who had her first baby at 19 and ended up with stretch marks and some loose skin, I had both of mine in my 30s and didn’t have either.
Apparently younger mom’s are more prone to stretch marks because presumably their skin has less “give”. So your anecdote actually makes a lot of sense.
I think it could be that (older vs younger) or just the fact that it was my second and my body had already been put through it you know? My body just like gave up lol I had my first at 31 and my second at 38 so there was sizable gap.
I had mine at 32 and 35 - the first one I bounced back like nothing. The second one I’m very clearly a mom just by looking at my body.
Definitely just luck in terms of stretch marks, had my first at 34 zero stretch marks and 5 months PP you wouldn't have had any clue I had a baby. A lot of people don't train their muscles back to strength (I'm absolutely not criticizing anyone for this, just how it is a lot of the time, mamas are busy!).
Same boat for me.
This happened to me too
I feel you, also 5’2” and had a 9.5lb baby… My stomach is so fucked - wrinkly and soooo many stretch marks. I’m 3.5 months postpartum and i know it will get somewhat better with time but I also know that the stretch marks are here to stay… and my stomach is COVERED. My sister in law keeps pressuring me to come swimming in their pool… I’m like, uhhhh not there yet girl!
I didn’t get stretch marks until like 33-34 weeks, I was so excited that I hadn’t had any yet and then BAM everywhere. :(
Same! It was literally not until that final month, and then they all came at once and I was like noooooooo
Same with my first, I got like 5 total, and most were after I'd given birth, I was like yeeesssss!!! 😁🥳 Got pregnant again a year later, had him at 36w and now I'm a purple zebra... Both of them were 6lb something so not even big babies 😮💨😕
I’m also 5’2 and my stomach was huge, but somehow I didn’t get a single stretch mark on my stomach. Meanwhile I got these big purple stretch marks all over my back / butt / hips, I have no idea how my body works out where stretch marks appear.
I’m 5’4” and I had twins..both 6.5 pounds. I’m 8 months post partum and I still have 20 pounds to lose despite dieting and exercising since January. I feel like I have no fucking hope and my stomach is going to look like a wrinkly ballsack if I ever lose the weight
Actually I got one stretch mark on my belly button during pregnancy and at 6 months, the past few months it’s faded significantly on its own! So there is hope it’ll get better!
My belly randomly got waaaaay better about a month ago. He’s 6 months now. So it may surprise you soon how fast things go back to closer to where they’re supposed to be lol. Skin wise… that’s just how it mostly. But overall shape should improve more for you soon I hope.
I'm more like, what up with people with not-to-saggy boobs, though? I mean good for them, but mine went up to a M-cup (yes, apparently they exist. Didn't know that before). I mean, how does that even work? How did you guys do it?!
I barely had any boobs to begin with ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I didn’t even fill out an A cup before pregnancy. They got a bit bigger with pregnancy and breastfeeding, and when I weaned they shrunk down to almost nothing. Can’t be saggy if there’s nothing to sag 🙃
Same here. 🫤
For me, I had almost no breast growth in pregnancy, so no saggy boobs. But that also meant I had insufficient glandular tissue and produced 20 ml of milk per day, even with the Herculean effort that is triple feeding. Trade offs I guess
I've always gained weight in my boobs, so mine got even larger in pregnancy and postpartum and yet I *still* didn't have sufficient milk supply. That's just where my body stores fat.
Ahh yeah ok that makes sense. I guess my breasts are more about function not aesthetics 😭
Same! I was an A cup before pregnancy, during pregnancy, and after pregnancy. But I also couldn’t produce more than 10 ml at a time and after consulting with SO many lactation consultants one finally told me that I probably didn’t develop enough breast tissue to produce milk during the pregnancy. Also, f triple feeding.
I once saw someone joke that triple feeding should be against the Geneva convention and I have to agree
Lol I love that
I have been breastfeeding for 8 months. I never felt my boobs sore during pregnancy and they just… never grew? I was in DD bra before getting pregnant and I am in DD bras still. No supply issues though, never supplemented. Don’t worry though, I got stretch marks and a mom pouch from pregnancy still.
And they deflate after breastfeeding is over and now you have sad saggy boobs with stretch marks with huge areoles lmao.
My pre-pregnancy boobs have looked like post-breastfeeding boobs my whole life. I don’t anticipate they have improved in appearance with pregnancy and breastfeeding so I’m planning to simply never look at them again. 🤷♀️
Solidarity over here
A good bra hides a multitude of “flaws” lol. I’ve noticed mine being less perky…. They weren’t that perky to begin with. Come on girls.
Exactly what happened lol
I feel your pain. You’re not alone, we shall share the suffering lol
I have a smaller chest so I always assumed that’s why mind never drooped. I went from a B cup to a C cup during pregnancy and I’m back at a B
I mean, mine were like a B cup. Then they grew to size of small watermelons, had like a 100 stretchmarks that eventually connected into one giant stretch mark. And even after coming back to their initial size after I stopped breastfeeding, they seem to be sagging _through_ the thin stretched skin. Yuck. Aaand it all got worse with my second. I really hope they at least shrink back again after I stop being milked. But it’s just a sad, sad sight.
Yeah like the other poster I had almost no breast growth during pregnancy. But I also didn’t want to breast feed so it worked out for me.
I didn’t breastfeed at all so my boobs got back to normal quickly.
Same. I hate how my stomach looks now. I carried 13 lbs of baby (twins) so no way was I going to look good after that. I just want a tummy tuck before I get too old.
Go to a good surgeon and leave a little bit of give. Almost every woman with a tummy tuck I’ve seen has had to have more invasive abdominal surgery because we couldn’t insufflate the abdomen because the plastic surgeon tightened them down so much I’m surprised that they could stand up straight. It makes me think I’ll just live with the pooch.
Thanks for this, I had no idea. We are going to try one more time but after that…. Mom’s getting her boobs and stomach done. Nothing crazy but I’m putting things back where they go damnt lol. Shapewear isn’t an option for me. I feel trapped and panicked in that stuff.
Applause for carrying twins 👏 I can’t even imagine. You moms of multiples seriously deserve all the recognition because I swear I’m drowning and was in so much pain just carrying my one baby.
High waisted leggings/jeans hide a lot! I work out a lot so my frame looks better but I have the saggy pooch and saggy boobs for life. I’m honestly in the screw it part of my life where if someone judges it I know they probably suck as a person anyway. But yeah mind boggling to me the women who have the same skin after. Like how.
My SIL gained like 150 pounds and had stretch marks from her ankles to her arms just covered completely really, a few years later she is a bigger woman but the skin went back to normal, you can’t tell she ever had the stretch marks minus a few light ones on her belly button area. It took like 2 years really for her skin to heal/go back to normal. I had the opposite effect I had HG with my pregnancies and couldn’t eat, hospitalized often and it took me over a year to not look anorexic after birth each time. I mean if you’ve seen the twilight series, I looked like Bella with the skeletor+basketball belly look. People assumed I was on drugs or had a severe eating disorder, and by people I mean even MY OWN family. I passed out many times because I couldn’t keep food down and obviously to some people that looks like a pregnant drug addict. One of my daughters had IUG and had to come early, thankfully unharmed. I just couldn’t even eat a single cracker, couldn’t drink a sip of water. I had 3 ulcers. Everything felt like battery acid in my throat and no medication helped. I would’ve happily traded my “skinny” body for a healthy/chunky one honestly. I still kinda hate food now, almost 2 years since the last pregnancy.
Also, I still had stretch marks 🤣 even tho I was skinny and my skin looked normal right after, they showed up like months after the baby didn’t even notice them with all the vomiting
I wish my issue was stretch marks, I do have some but they don’t bother me. But no, I have one of those mommy aprons and a bunch of really wrinkly lose skin, nothing but a tummy tuck will repair that I think.
Know what you mean. I had my first kid super young, at 19, she was only 7lb and I still didn’t “bounce back”. My skin stretched beyond repair and my stomach is a wrinkly saggy mess. Four kids now and my stomach muscles are separated, boobs sagging, even my butt is gone. Meanwhile I’ve got friends and cousins who look the same (better even!) in bikinis and crop tops and I’m super jealous. In a couple of years I’ll do a tummy tuck and boob job and hopefully finally like what I see in the mirror! 🙃
I plan to do the same and I also have friends who are the same! It makes me so mad haha! Like please, give me a morsel of those genetics!
My stomach is wrecked too, thanks to a giant fibroid that went nuts with the pregnancy hormones. I will need 3 surgeries to put me back together after the second pregnancy because of what it did to me. These are: 1) Myomectomy (done, not cancer, yay!) 2) Groin hernia repair (done with mesh this week, now recovering) 3) Umbilical hernia repair (I will probably include an ab gap repair with this to improve stability of the hernia repair and maybe remove loose skin out of pure vanity if everything is anyway opened up) So, yeah. I didn't make it through two pregnancies very well either.
Ugh. With you on the umbilical hernia. Looks like I have a walnut sticking out of my belly button. Not cute. I’ll get it repaired hopefully soon? And that along with the saggy boobs and mom pooch — it’s hard to come to terms with where my body is :(
I'm off to Fiji in Oct and trying to work up the courage to take this white as fuck, saggy, 100kg bod out for a spin. I keep telling myself, no-one is going to be judging you. You're a dime a dozen - there will be loads of non-beach ready bods on display. But I'm still so nervous. Upside - I can breastfeed my baby leaning over his carseat, so I won't even have to take him out on the plane to get business done 😆😆 My oldest (8 years) asked me recently why my tummy looks like it does, and why I have to wear 'nappies' when I have a cold so I don't pee on the floor. I arched my brow and looked at him and his brother. That's why 😆
I feel this. I also had a “large amount of amniotic fluid”, am 5’0”, and delivered an 8lb baby. I was very petite before and gained 45 lbs throughout my pregnancy (which I’m still 15lbs over my pre pregnancy weight). I have so many stretch marks despite using all the lotions, creams, gels, oils, whatever the heck things other people “swore” prevented stretch marks. My pelvic floor is wrecked (currently in physical therapy for it), I still have a mild diastasis recti, and my lower back is royally f*cked. I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted pre-pregnancy and stay the same weight but now I swear even with consciously eating healthier and exercising I still struggle to lose/maintain weight. I’m grateful for my body for giving me my amazing baby boy but god is it hard some days to embrace and love this “new body” of mine. Especially when everyone swore up and down I’d “bounce right back” because I was so fit and petite to begin with.
Stretch marks are genetic. All those creams and shit are bs. They might keep your skin moisturized but thats it. I bought into it when I had my daughter in 2014, I used oils and creams everyday and I had no stretchmarks. Then someone told me it was genetic so I tested that theory with my son. I didn't use a single cream and don't have a single stretch mark. I am 5'1, I started at 125 ended at 170, and my son was 9.5lbs. Even with my massive baby, I didn't get one. So I am convinced that they're genetic and we should boycott all of those companies that try and tell us otherwise. Also, don't lose hope. Your body does bounce back eventually. It takes a year maybe a little more but the weight loss stuff is absolutely because your hormones are wacko rn. I know it's hard but it all just takes time to go back to normal.
Keep in mind for many of us what you don’t see is 9 months of vomiting and weight loss instead of weight gain during pregnancy. People constantly comment about how good I look after pregnancy, it’s because I lost 30 pounds and would have died without nausea medication and IV fluids.
Every woman with that level of nausea and vomiting during pregnancy deserves a fucking monument in my opinion. I'm not old enough to be president but when I am, let me know where you want yours.
This so accurately reflexes the bias that skinnier is always better. I got compliments about how “thin/good I looked” when I was a few months postpartum and the reason was that I was starving those first few months of breastfeeding and had nobody to help feed me or remind me to eat. I struggled really hard to eat and ended up deficient in several minerals and vitamins. And I was dealing with PPD, PPA, and a lack of family support. So when we see thinner women postpartum we should always extend the benefit of the doubt that there could be pain underneath what we see on the surface.
Not during pregnancy, but I used to get so many compliments about being healthy in my ED, cigarettes and coffee and nothing for days-days, and even comments that I seemed healthier than compared to now, eating whole foods, lifting, running, and yoga every week and never been healthier in mind body or spirit but wearing a size 8-10 instead of a 2. 🙄 We should as a culture just stop commenting on people's bodies all together, lol. So many people with EDs are egged on my compliments unbeknownst to the people saying them! Health is not really visible to the naked eye.
I’m so sorry because those kinds of comments are *especially* harmful to people with ED’s. It pretty much actively encourages a person to secretly continue their ED behaviors because they’re getting this positive feedback from people who can’t keep their mouths shut. I’m very passionate about it cause I know how hard it can be to work through an ED. I’m happy for you that you’re doing so great now and I wish you the best as you continue on. 💗
This is so true! I’m 5’2 and bounced back to 117lb pretty quickly but I always and still do feel weird when ppl complement my weight. My baby just turned 1 and I’m still breastfeeding and still find times when I forget to eat. The first few months postpartum I don’t think I ate at all. I completely lost my butt so it literally hurts my tail bone to sit for extended periods of time. I’m trying to rebuild all my muscle mass that was lost. I know it’s different for everyone but similar to what you said, thinner doesn’t always equal happy.
Yep!!!
I always inform people of this and kinda shrug and say “silver lining I guess” I was a shell of a person from week 6 until 16. Couldn’t eat, always in the hospital, bedridden most days was on disability at work. Even after I stopped puking the way baby was positioned + heartburn kept me from ever eating much anyhow. Like yeah I’m still small but it came at insane cost to my health and both physical and mental wellbeing
Thanks for mentioning this! I dropped quickly below my pre pregnancy weight after birth because I could barely eat the entire time. Also my baby was IUGR and I looked, at the most, 7 months pregnant when I was induced at 37w. It wasn’t fun having people comment on how tiny I was when the cause of it was a high risk pregnancy.
Same girl. When you’re dealing with IUGR and people are commenting about how tiny you look, it makes you feel like you’re doing something to harm the baby. Was so awful to hear those comments
I had HG super bad for probably 4 months and lost 20 lbs but then gained a huge amount of weight within 2 months of it clearing up 😭 I still haven’t lost the weight
Same here. I was puking up until my water broke and even threw up a few times in labor. I refused to do the nausea medication this time because my first kid has autism and I'm not sure if the Zofran caused it so throughout my whole pregnancy I was pretty limited on what I could eat. I had insane heartburn after 7th month too. The doctors also thought that the baby might not be growing properly inside me too. He was the 11th percentile and the 10th and under is considered IUGR so my baby was borderline on that. Yeah I look good but still, I would have rather gained more weight and known my baby was healthy. He came out healthy but I was worried for months over a few different scares like a heart murmur and the IGUR.
If this isn’t too invasive — what made you choose to have a second?
I had an amazing first pregnancy, felt good, I had good appetite, some cravings. I was well rested. Easy newborn, happy during the day and really good sleeper. 4m pp I was ~8kg above my pre-pregnancy weight (gained a bit during breastfeeding - I mean I was HUNGRY), started exercising, lost it within several months. Good times. Second baby, shitty pregnancy, house renovations + toddler + constant shortness of breath = I was usually too tired to get up from the couch to fix myself a meal. Then postpartum anemia and lack of appetite, I had to force myself to eat anything. High-need baby that screams whenever he’s awake and not held (and even then). So whenever he fell asleep (on me of course), I’d listen to my stomach and think about eating, but wouldn’t dare move. Because it’s better than the screaming. Then several illnesses later (daycare), constant work with house renovations (still ongoing), two kids (now both mobile) - yeah I’m back to pre-pregnancy weight, but I don’t exercise so my body doesn’t look or feel nice, I’ve got pelvic floor issues etc. It was so much nicer to have a chance to work for it, than to “bounce back”. The process of “bouncing back” was/is worse. People compliment me on it but it’s not something I consider an accomplishment, it’s a reminder of a very difficult 18 months.
My body looks the same after pregnancy — and it’s because I was anorexic 🫠 baby ended up being fine thank god, he was a good weight & barely made full term. But of course right after everyone complimented me on how little weight I gained and how skinny I was again. I was 20 lbs lighter than when I got pregnant. So all of that is to say, yes it’s not always a good thing.
Same, I was so sick I could barely make it up and down the steps of my house. I gave birth at an underweight BMI because I could not keep food down and had GD. I felt so guilty for my daughter’s low birth weight because I couldn’t get enough calories for her. She’s an absolutely perfect 7 month old now thankfully.
Yep. Exactly. I regularly felt like I was dying, literally. I wish I could have gained weight
Yup. This is me. I was soooo so sosososoosos sick carrying my twins. My boys are healthy but damn they sucked every last nutrient out of me. Then once they were born it’s like running a marathon every day giving them what they need and pumping enough and I don’t have time to eat!!!! I got the snap-back belly and I look good now. But even 20 years ago I and probably both my boys would not have survived. It’s funny because my priorities have shifted and I don’t care what my body looks like. I’m just happy we are here together.
5'1 powerlifter, for before pregnancy, strict diet. I'm 4 years postpartum and still feel the same as you. 8lb 13oz baby, ab separation, super wrinkly gut. I can't help but compare myself to others. I absolutely hate the way I look. I had body dysmorphia before I was pregnant too.
Hey powerlifting mom, I see you. I am also a powerlifter, competed at 8w pregnant with my first, haven’t competed since but I’m 16m postpartum with my second and still lifting. Cheers to being strong, looks aside!
Yeah. Agreed. and I had a 6lbs baby at 5'7; it shouldn't BE this bad. My boobs are the balloons after the after-party variety, and I'm still just bulky. I can appreciate a beautiful woman walking by me; I'll think 'she's gorgeous, good for her'. But if I see a beautiful woman walk by me with a pram, all I think is 'Fuck you', lol.
Your last paragraph made me chuckle lol
My mom bounced back well after pregnancy and looked great after two babies but she had extra skin around her belly. She never hid it and still rocks a bikini as a 60 year old. Growing up I wondered why she never hid her belly with a one piece. But now I am a mom of two and my belly looks just like hers. I wish I had the belly I had before but I am learning to embrace it and not hide it. I want my daughter to see my belly. She may wonder why I don’t hide it but I hope someday she’s proud that I loved my body and what it did for me. I’m still human though, living in this society, so I still fight a lot of self doubt and judgement of my body for being “imperfect”. Some days are hard and others are easy.
This! My body, especially the stomach, looks and feels how I remember my mom’s body felt growing up. Soft and secure. I’ve been so much more comfortable in my skin and letting my belly out in crop shirts or a nursing bra and high-waist bottoms. It’s also just comfortable. I don’t have the energy to hide and only wear what’s flattering. Almost 12 weeks pp.
You can find every reason you want for not having your "ideal" body after pregnancy. But it won't erase the fact that you don't know everyone's life. A precursor - I gained a lot of weight postpartum so I have no skin in this game lol. My friends that are thin after pregnancy all had terrible HG during pregnancy and never gained weight. I'd rather be fat than puking.
Some of us really do get the short end of the straw, though. I hardly gained any weight during my second pregnancy because I had a strict gestational diabetes diet. I got screwed over by a massive fibroid (11 cm) that tore apart my abdominal wall bad enough to require surgical repair post-pregnancy. I would rather be fat and puking than 'broken'.
Yes fat and puking sounds preferable to that. Sorry you went through that. It's hard enough having a newborn let alone going through surgery on top of that.
Thanks for the sympathy. Luckily I was able to leave some of the issues for awhile, so no newborn at home anymore during surgery. :)
so true. 6 weeks postpartum i’m thinner than pre pregnancy but it’s bc i had severe HG and threw up 5-10x/day every day of pregnancy
2 pregnancies both plus size pregnancies, C-sections, big baby, thyroid issues. You're not alone in having a "perfect body" But don't forget, comparison is the theft of joy
I need about 150k of plastic surgery to get back to the body I had before babies 😕. I’m literally over here pretending to myself that I’m somehow going to find that money too.
No body that’s made so much life and love could ever be ugly! And as one of those women who sees to just bounce back immediately- for me it’s hyperthyroidism, and it isn’t as easy as it might look from the outside. I’m sure you understand that having thyroid issues yourself. Having babies and dealing with how we feel about our bodies postpartum is something difficult and that we all have to navigate. Solidarity in that, I’m really going through it too.
Yah was in the same boat, also being a SAHM with one income households = not having a lot of disposable income so I can’t just spend all my families money on new clothes that fit my body / make up/ hair products. Means I often look like an actual troll.
As a fellow shorty (I’m 4’ 11”) it’s generally just harder for us to loose weight. Just know, a lot of it is genetics and damn, I wish I had those genes lol
I didn’t know you could gain weight breastfeeding until I did. 😨 I went up 20lbs after giving birth, and then another 20-25 while stress eating to cope with losing both my parents within 2 years. My kid’s eight now and I haaaate where I am but as another short person who is now experiencing perimenopause it is a fucking *struggle* to make progress. Sometimes I wish I could just get something like ozempic or whatever :(
5'2 as well. My first was 9lbs 1. My second 8lbs 5. I had them 14 months apart. My stomach is sooooo wrinkly and I'm a year postpartum so I am assuming it's not going to firm up more than this. With you in solidarity!
Same girlie. I am 5ft 3 and had a 8lb 4oz and a 10lb 4oz, the loose skin on my belly is just not going to go anywhere back to being normal again without surgery and it’s really starting to bother me!
I just avoided seeing my sister because she's had two kids, runs 35 mile marathons, and still looked it a month pp. I'm at 9 months pp and look 4 months pregnant still. I'm trying, but been sick a lot. I just can't handle comparing myself to her right now... or hear the well-meaning advice she and mom would throw at me once they see how little I've lost. 🫠
Don't be in awe! You never know what the person had to do to get that body. I weigh 15lbs less after my 2nd pregnancy than before. I look great. But it's because I developed gestational diabetes during my 2nd pregnancy and it never went away. I would rather weigh more and be able to enjoy a pizza night with my family. One of my favorite weekend activities used to be going to a nice coffee shop getting a fun latte and splitting some pasties with my husband and son. I'll never be able to do that again. It's a good lesson to care less about what you look like and enjoy life and your healthy family. I wish I realized it before it was for medical reasons.
I have diastis recti and feel so disgusting, my sons 18 months old and I was pregnant with my daughter before that too, and I still look 8 months pregnant… so I completely feel you. I look at my friends who have had kids and think “HOW?” But admittedly, a lot of them have older kids and they had children young. My body is older and I guess just took more damage. But - I hear you, I see you. I commiserate. Our bodies are beautiful too momma.
If it makes you feel better I look good after having “kid” singular but it’s hard to imagine I will after another! My son is 13 months and I dropped the weight quickly, struggled with a shelf from my emergency c-section a bit but was soon decent looking but definitely what they called “skinny fat” in my day. I got seriously back into my fitness bc I know I’ll plan a c section next time, and i’m at a higher risk for preeclampsia and postpartum preeclampsia after my first experience. I want to go into the pregnancy as strong as possible. I’m very strict about my routine but I find it hard to imagine I’ll have time to lift 3x per week and cardio 4x per week when I have more than one! But yeah I’m wearing a crop top every day until I get pregnant again as a gift to myself!
People think I bounce back easy, but it’s just because all my weight is in my love handles and I hide those under high wasted flowy skirts. I promise it’s not all sunshine and roses over here 😂😂😂 My stomach might look “flat” but my love handles are out of control 😭😭
I felt like this post partum. 157 cm and 80 kilos, with hypothyroidism and hashis - was so unhappy, and call me selfish but yea that is one of the reasons ( there are multitudes) of why I am one and done. I only started losing weight when my husband and I switched to a low cholesterol diet ( because of him) and that was 2 years after my son was born.
I had my kids in my late 30s back to back. My body is a mess. They are 4 and 6 now and I’m slowly losing weight. Very slowly. But my stomach is just now permanently the largest part of me. I don’t think that’s ever going away. And I’m just old so it’s hard to tell if it’s old age or just me never recovering. The worst part for me is the hemorrhoids. My butt is just gross inside now and it’s a cute butt so it’s a shame it will never be fixed lol.
I feel this in my soul. I try to make an effort to zhuzh myself up, but it feels like lipstick on a bog witch sometimes. I’m too goddamn tired.
Trust me, I don't particularly liked looking "good" again immediately PP. I had HG and lost weight instead of gaining for like 17 weeks. Then my son was a giant so my stretchmarks still cover my belly from above the navel to my upper legs and over my ass. I had an emergency/urgent c section so a scar from that which people ignore because they can't see it. I nearly died giving birrh due to HELLP and lost 10 of the 12 kg I gained immediately upon delivery since all of it was water weight and baby weight. 26h after, I was walking, peeing/pooping and showering alone and walking to NICU, sitting/standing beside baby and being beside for washing and such. I was off of all pain meds by day 3. I didn't even look pregnant anymore. I had no baby. By day 3 I had no more pain. And I had no baby, since they were in NICU. I would have loved being bigger/still having a baby belly.
I feel you. I only have one kid and he's still a baby, 8 months, but he was 21.5 inches long and I had an absolute monster of a placenta. Like it was almost as bad delivering my baby it was that big. I've lost weight sure, but my stomach has tons of loose skin and is just bigger. I genuinely always look like I'm about 5 months pregnant. It sucks. A few of my friends that have had babies have lost all the weight, bur honestly most haven't. And everyone I know that's had a baby has experienced body changes. Looser skin, bigger thighs and arms, less head hair, saggy breasts, smaller butt's. I do believe it's not possible to walk away from a pregnancy and huge life adjustment as becoming a parent and look the same. Some people get closer to their pre pregnancy bodies because they have the health, money, resources, time and support to do so.
I'm 4'9 and had a baby with a 6'2 man. My body is WRECKED. we have a pool party this Saturday and I'm trying to find a one piece that covers my new kangaroo pouch.
Immediately after my first baby I went back to how i looked before and was so thrilled. And then the stress of struggling with breastfeeding, getting no sleep, panicking over every little thing, cause the constant comfort eating and I regained all the weight I had while pregnant. After a year, I stopped breastfeeding and decided I was gonna get serious about losing the weight. Well wouldn't you know my body decided to get knocked up 🙃 so now i have the added weight from comfort eating PLUS a new baby on the way. Let's hope I can control myself after this one is born and get back to a healthier weight lol
I feel you, i had my first baby at 21 ( i am 5’2) and he was the smallest of my 3 boys at almost 9lb, i have had loose skin and split muscles since. It traumatized me but i learned to accept it. I don’t like it and run away from the mirror like its the devil. In the end though i love my kids and would not take my unchanged body back but it is hard for sure.
My first full term successful pregnancy was at 34. I turned 35 soon after his birth. I’m 6 months in and just now losing the apron. (C section), and I doubt it will ever be the same. I’m happier than I was but it’s still a mental adjustment getting used to my new softness around the middle. Birthing babies is HARD on us! And you had a WHOPPER of a baby lol. I think for some of us it just takes more time to get back or to a place we’re happier. Genes, fitness level before and during pregnancy, and LUCK dictates so much.
My body went back to "normal" but I was overweight to begin with. I'm thinner than I was before my daughter, but still considered overweight. I never experienced being cute lol. All of my stretch marks were there long before my daughter. (But my husband likes me. That's enough for me).
I had a c section 17days ago and I HOPE I’m one of those women you hate 😭 I’m afraid I’m not going to be though lol. I’m not sure if my still belly is still normal but I just hope it goes away. Not excited about having to get the doctors ok to exercise but I’m going to wait of course. Oh and yeah I’ll probably have the saggy boobs too once I stop breast feeding. Maybe I’ll be on of those moms who try to keep going for a year just so my boobs will look good whenever my body kinda catches up 😅
I feel ya. For me the hypothyroidism, undiagnosed for a year at least, made recovering to my pre-baby self impossible. I definitely feel jealous of my friends who seemed to pop right back with little effort. FWIW, you are probably your own worst critic. And being overweight or having loose skin does not make you ugly 😌
The secret to staying thin for me was profuse, unrelenting nausea and vomiting for 9 solid months through both pregnancies. My net weight gain was negative after baby was born because they sucked up all my nutrients and reserves. Pregnancy can be hard for a lot of reasons, sometimes the women with hot bodies after pregnancy had easy pregnancies and good genetics, or maybe they had unknown complications. Im only saying this to provide perspective cause there are so many variables that we forget about or aren’t familiar with.
I had two c sections, developed hypo after my first. Metabolism completely stopped working. I feel you. I feel so ugly and wish my husband would understand. That being said, I still want a third lol
I have a good body after giving birth and I got back into the shape but I feel like because of that I didn’t have enough of milk( I understand your concern but if you have a supportive partner, please please don’t worry about it right now
I feel like it’s genetics. Do you resemble your mother post birth? Don’t hate on the mama’s snapping back they can’t help it , or they are extremely dedicated to it. I’m extremely dedicated to being fit but it took me legit 2 years to get back to pre baby shape. My pelvis is jacked I get pains and pee myself , weird hip pains, ass is flat, but I literally snapped back but in 2 years. I worked really hard. I’m still trying so hard. Some people snap back without any effort. Don’t be the salt of the sea, sometimes what’s on the outside isn’t the reflection of inside. That skinny ass mom might be severely depressed and not eating. Or has a husband/partner who doesn’t help at all and she stressed as hell. It’s not a thing worth being jealous over and it’s not some award they deserve for how they look. I’m sure your kids are super happy and cared for. I hope you’re in a happy healthy partnership. That’s what matters. View it differently don’t be caught up on the body, it’s just a body. Also, fully support some medical assistance to feel good if you can and want. No shame sister. Mommy make overs help lots of women feel their best. No shame there either.
My wife went straight to working out a few months after having our son, she was worried about her stomach but now she’s got her stomach back, abs, and strength back. We went through IVF and had a difficult pregnancy and ended up with a gorgeous son. She’s never been one to be jealous of body types but I do know she mentioned her stomach being loose after the pregnancy but she just like…exercised, but then again my wife is a very determined person.
Yeah, they work really hard. Before, during, and after pregnancy. It's not magic. Be honest. If you really wanted to look good, you would. But cakes are nice, right?
I have hypo from pregnancy - you can do it! You just have to essentially starve yourself, if you have hypo you need a lot less calories, and combine that with deep deep core workouts like Pilates
Oh no, my belly isn’t getting fixed by Pilates sadly, this bad boy needs a tummy tuck. I have a lot of skin with no where to go.