Very relatable! It's hard for me to imagine a life with anyone other than a woman and I connect better sexually/emotionally with women --> I'm lesbian --> my sexual and emotional relationships with men have been highly satisfactory so far --> I'm bisexual ...etc.
me identifying as bisexual but only being able to project onto/identify with mxm and mxf ones, and not wlw ones, is what made me realize i may be trans!
Definitely comes in waves. I was bi in high school, came out as lesbian around 19 and exclusively dated women. Around 25 I started dating trans women and enbys and now I’m 30 also into cis and trans men again… I like the fluidity of being genderqueer and bi, then there’s no confusion about who I’m partnering with, because I’ve added many options to my palate
For me, it's more like:
Sees hot woman / gets crush on woman --> I'm lesbian, can't even imagine being attracted to men, why did I ever think I was bi --> sees hot guy / gets crush on guy --> I'm straight, can't even imagine being attracted to women, why did I ever think I was bi --> sees hot woman / gets crush on woman --> repeat cycle
Happy to be here. I appreciate the reply, I'll be honest I don't know much about different labels, but I'm always open to learning. Growing up and in my teen years I always identified as a lesbian and I genuinely think I was, but now maybe that's just changed? I've heard sexuality can be fluid for some
I don't want to label you, but it may helps to consider : you seem to be a homoromantic bisexual.
I'm a guy and I have the same feelings as you, that would make me a heteroromantic bisexual.
You can decide to not date men and say you're a lesbian. No one will judge you, and even if someone does, so what? Who are they to decide what you should call yourself?
You're a free human being, do whatever the hell you want. You don't owe anyone your sexuality, not even yourself. If you can't put a finger on what exactly it is that attracts you in people or what label would suit you best then don't think about it, follow your heart, date whoever you like, and free yourself from norms and labels(hell, you could invent your own name for it).
Hope this helps
It's weird AF, and I don't know what to do about it.
I kinda am not attracted to either, but also both at the same time, and the only people I ever seem to really vibe with are other trans people and/or enbies.
I have more blind physical attraction for girls then guys, but, even straight cis girls consistently rank guys 2 ranks lower then what guys typically rate girls.
IE the median girls rank guys at is 2, but the median guys rate girls at is 4.
So if you saw those 2 genders the same as a cis straight would, you would like more girls than guys.
Means either only, or mainly, attracted to androgynous individuals. [Here ](https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Androgynesexual)is the wiki page.
I find hyper femininity unattractive, and hyper masculinity unattractive.
The closer someone gets to being more gender neutral, the more I seem to find them attractive. How much I like the person as a individual, and how horny I am, tends to lend some leeway in both directions. Having opposing traits can off-set it to an extant as well. This also tends to lend my style preferences in other people to lean more in a alt direction where gender norm styling isn't so set.
Most the girls I like, would typically be labeled as tomboys or dykes, and most the guys as twinks or femboys.
A ***type*** of Enby hits what I like about both/neither perfectly, but that's a whole other discussion if you wana DM about that. Gender fluid people can also sometimes do it pretty well too.
**Back on topic,** it gives me a strong feeling similar to what you described there. I feel really invalidated saying I like guys when it's only a specific type, and it feels wrong saying I only like girls when I've functionally slept with so many guys and enbies. That I have to fit a more stereotype of wanting to fuck everything that moves to "actually be Bi" or be into more masculine guys to "actually like guys".
Thanks so much for the explanation…Labels are so stressful and confusing but somehow we feel the need to call ourselves something … I hope you’ll find what suits you best soon 🩷
Yeppp, my issue is that I am coming to accept that I am only attracted to and interested in people assigned female at birth, so cis women, trans men, and non-binary afab peeps. I just don’t connect on the same level with amab people and at times I feel guilty about it. Still kind of processing it and figuring it out.
I’m in the same category sexually. Though I do find some men good for cuddling and maybe kissing.
Sexuality is a sliding scale so I have trouble saying I’m bi, when I’m more queer or biromantic
oh i am very much in this cycle right now. like i can reread my old journals and i definitely had crushes on boys but i'm kind of seeing a woman now and everything just makes more sense? i also grew up in purity culture so it's difficult trying to untangle comphet and religious baggage. i always pictured myself marrying a man but also had a long list of dealbreakers because i was so afraid i'd fall for a guy who wanted me to be a tradwife or something. i've always been more comfortable around women, but i was also socialized to basically be on red alert that every guy was a potential partner, not a friend. so it was first difficult to recognize that i was actually attracted to women, and now that i've met one i really like i'm questioning if i was ever truly attracted to men because it feels so different with her. hmmm i think i know what my therapist and i will talk about next time haha
It’s so weird determining what you are cause of the way you are and what you are cause of the way you were brought up and I feel like it has a huge effect on every single part of our lives and having to learn and unlearn things is really hard … I’m so happy that you’re happy with who you’re with rn
The way I view this is that, that was then and now is now. My past attractions do not define me today. If you are no longer attracted to it now, I don't see why you would carry it with around with you, especially if it is a burden to you and is causing you to question your identity. Of course do what you want it's your identity. I, nor any body except for yourself, can't tell you what you are and all that. It's just my own two cents on it, I view my attractions and crushes like an opinion, if they no longer fit me or my worldview I throw them out, and they no longer reflect who I am now.
You’re so right but I also can’t help but feel me thinking I’m a lesbian is coming from a place of internalized bi phobia … like I’m claiming being gay when I’m not so I need to be the whole thing … idk
I mean i experience this with all genders. The idea of a relationship/anything sexual with anyone freaks me out but then I get a crush on someone and can't stop thinking about them. I am however recently divorced so probably related to that.
I'm a bisexual man, who also thinks guys are often monsters or assholes, so I struggle with my attraction to them. I also enjoy the company of women much more, related to them more easily, and feel safer with them.
Yeah well I'm a bisexual man here and I'd say that I think I notice more of a romantic connection with women and not so with men. With men it's more about being passionate. Mind you my last partner was an exception...
hmmm, not sure about relationship with a man, but sex is a resounding yes, and love both relationship and sex with a woman. no real cycling, pretty consistent feeling this way
does this count if im AMAB NB? But i have had periods in my life of being TransFem (im heavily turbulent on what my gender identity is, but i vibe with this entirely)
Very relatable! It's hard for me to imagine a life with anyone other than a woman and I connect better sexually/emotionally with women --> I'm lesbian --> my sexual and emotional relationships with men have been highly satisfactory so far --> I'm bisexual ...etc.
My feelings almost exactly!!!
Attraction does change over time. I used to be bi until I found out that I’m more jealous of mxm relationships than mxf ones
This is really interesting …I’m gonna pay attention to how I react to different relationships now
me identifying as bisexual but only being able to project onto/identify with mxm and mxf ones, and not wlw ones, is what made me realize i may be trans!
It's BI-CYLE folks! 💖💜💙
Newton's 4th law, bi's must cycle.
Y E S
Definitely comes in waves. I was bi in high school, came out as lesbian around 19 and exclusively dated women. Around 25 I started dating trans women and enbys and now I’m 30 also into cis and trans men again… I like the fluidity of being genderqueer and bi, then there’s no confusion about who I’m partnering with, because I’ve added many options to my palate
I love that for you
For me, it's more like: Sees hot woman / gets crush on woman --> I'm lesbian, can't even imagine being attracted to men, why did I ever think I was bi --> sees hot guy / gets crush on guy --> I'm straight, can't even imagine being attracted to women, why did I ever think I was bi --> sees hot woman / gets crush on woman --> repeat cycle
It's weird because I love mxf fictionally but in reality I prefer women.
The thought of a relationship with a man grosses me out but sex with one is pretty good I can't lie. Definitely have a preference for women lol
Hey there, welcome to the bisexual homoromantic label, we have free coffee at the corner table and a complimentary pamphlet.
Happy to be here. I appreciate the reply, I'll be honest I don't know much about different labels, but I'm always open to learning. Growing up and in my teen years I always identified as a lesbian and I genuinely think I was, but now maybe that's just changed? I've heard sexuality can be fluid for some
I don't want to label you, but it may helps to consider : you seem to be a homoromantic bisexual. I'm a guy and I have the same feelings as you, that would make me a heteroromantic bisexual.
You can decide to not date men and say you're a lesbian. No one will judge you, and even if someone does, so what? Who are they to decide what you should call yourself? You're a free human being, do whatever the hell you want. You don't owe anyone your sexuality, not even yourself. If you can't put a finger on what exactly it is that attracts you in people or what label would suit you best then don't think about it, follow your heart, date whoever you like, and free yourself from norms and labels(hell, you could invent your own name for it). Hope this helps
Yes this does help thank you so much 🩷 you have honestly given me a lot to think about
Glad you found my advice helpful :)
It's weird AF, and I don't know what to do about it. I kinda am not attracted to either, but also both at the same time, and the only people I ever seem to really vibe with are other trans people and/or enbies. I have more blind physical attraction for girls then guys, but, even straight cis girls consistently rank guys 2 ranks lower then what guys typically rate girls. IE the median girls rank guys at is 2, but the median guys rate girls at is 4. So if you saw those 2 genders the same as a cis straight would, you would like more girls than guys.
Sorry this is unrelated but I noticed your flair …just out of a desire to educate myself, what does androgynesexualy bisexual mean
Means either only, or mainly, attracted to androgynous individuals. [Here ](https://lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Androgynesexual)is the wiki page. I find hyper femininity unattractive, and hyper masculinity unattractive. The closer someone gets to being more gender neutral, the more I seem to find them attractive. How much I like the person as a individual, and how horny I am, tends to lend some leeway in both directions. Having opposing traits can off-set it to an extant as well. This also tends to lend my style preferences in other people to lean more in a alt direction where gender norm styling isn't so set. Most the girls I like, would typically be labeled as tomboys or dykes, and most the guys as twinks or femboys. A ***type*** of Enby hits what I like about both/neither perfectly, but that's a whole other discussion if you wana DM about that. Gender fluid people can also sometimes do it pretty well too. **Back on topic,** it gives me a strong feeling similar to what you described there. I feel really invalidated saying I like guys when it's only a specific type, and it feels wrong saying I only like girls when I've functionally slept with so many guys and enbies. That I have to fit a more stereotype of wanting to fuck everything that moves to "actually be Bi" or be into more masculine guys to "actually like guys".
Thanks so much for the explanation…Labels are so stressful and confusing but somehow we feel the need to call ourselves something … I hope you’ll find what suits you best soon 🩷
This is exactly what it’s like for me as an abrosexual! It can be so confusing sometimes lol
Therapy my man
I recently quit
me in a nutshell
Yeppp, my issue is that I am coming to accept that I am only attracted to and interested in people assigned female at birth, so cis women, trans men, and non-binary afab peeps. I just don’t connect on the same level with amab people and at times I feel guilty about it. Still kind of processing it and figuring it out.
I’m in the same category sexually. Though I do find some men good for cuddling and maybe kissing. Sexuality is a sliding scale so I have trouble saying I’m bi, when I’m more queer or biromantic
Oh that makes sense! I will look into those terms more as that might be helpful for me. I appreciate it!
I was literally just thinking about this when this came up lol
Yeah but its wish guys not girl and gay not lesbsian
Me but the only “boy” I had a crush on isn’t/wasn’t even a boy.
God, the same bullshit. Lately it doesn't even feel right to think about guys in a romantic/sexual sense!
oh i am very much in this cycle right now. like i can reread my old journals and i definitely had crushes on boys but i'm kind of seeing a woman now and everything just makes more sense? i also grew up in purity culture so it's difficult trying to untangle comphet and religious baggage. i always pictured myself marrying a man but also had a long list of dealbreakers because i was so afraid i'd fall for a guy who wanted me to be a tradwife or something. i've always been more comfortable around women, but i was also socialized to basically be on red alert that every guy was a potential partner, not a friend. so it was first difficult to recognize that i was actually attracted to women, and now that i've met one i really like i'm questioning if i was ever truly attracted to men because it feels so different with her. hmmm i think i know what my therapist and i will talk about next time haha
It’s so weird determining what you are cause of the way you are and what you are cause of the way you were brought up and I feel like it has a huge effect on every single part of our lives and having to learn and unlearn things is really hard … I’m so happy that you’re happy with who you’re with rn
The way I view this is that, that was then and now is now. My past attractions do not define me today. If you are no longer attracted to it now, I don't see why you would carry it with around with you, especially if it is a burden to you and is causing you to question your identity. Of course do what you want it's your identity. I, nor any body except for yourself, can't tell you what you are and all that. It's just my own two cents on it, I view my attractions and crushes like an opinion, if they no longer fit me or my worldview I throw them out, and they no longer reflect who I am now.
You’re so right but I also can’t help but feel me thinking I’m a lesbian is coming from a place of internalized bi phobia … like I’m claiming being gay when I’m not so I need to be the whole thing … idk
I have honestly stopped thinking about this, I think I'm bisexual but I like who I like
I mean i experience this with all genders. The idea of a relationship/anything sexual with anyone freaks me out but then I get a crush on someone and can't stop thinking about them. I am however recently divorced so probably related to that.
Y E S. V E R Y R E L A T A B L E
new mobility class just dropped, introd- the metabike
I'm a bisexual man, who also thinks guys are often monsters or assholes, so I struggle with my attraction to them. I also enjoy the company of women much more, related to them more easily, and feel safer with them.
So a homoromantic bisexual :)
Agreed
Yeah well I'm a bisexual man here and I'd say that I think I notice more of a romantic connection with women and not so with men. With men it's more about being passionate. Mind you my last partner was an exception...
hmmm, not sure about relationship with a man, but sex is a resounding yes, and love both relationship and sex with a woman. no real cycling, pretty consistent feeling this way
does this count if im AMAB NB? But i have had periods in my life of being TransFem (im heavily turbulent on what my gender identity is, but i vibe with this entirely)