I think he's saying that if he uses some equipment that is next to a female who is using different equipment???
If that's the case, I don't know. Either they think you're creepy, or they are just ready to move to their next exercise.
True but it could also just be that they don’t want to be doing their workout right next to a man, period (creepy or not) . I kinda get like that when I’m working out. If someone comes right up next to me to do their set while I’m doing mine I just go to another exercise bc I don’t want to be *right* next to someone while I’m doing mine. It’s nothing they did wrong, I just think it’s awkward sometimes, especially if I’m doing squats or something else that’s kinda…not what I want to be doing in front of a random dude lol.
I’m a 6’4” dude and I’m pretty much the same. I value my personal space at the gym. If I was a woman I’m sure that would increase many thousands of percent.
Same, even if a hot chick comes up works out next to me and takes off the pump cover I’m there to be a primal animal and social interaction doesn’t coincide with that…
I say the same to guys/girls, its because its annoying people ask me about how many sets I have left. Because if you say 2 or 3, they will awkwardly be close to you and make you rush.
I rather say 1 and do another excercise in peace without anyone bothering me
If i understood this correctly ofcourse - or you just stand next to girls?
Hahahaha if they hover around instead of doing something else I rest extra between those sets 😂I already rest at like 4+ minutes between em, sorry forgot to mention that my dude
I never interrupt somebody to ask how many sets they have left. It sucks to get asked that. Usually I’ll notice the machine is taken from 20 feet away and can just do a different exercise out of order, or worst case scenario I can almost always work the same muscle group with freeweights.
There’s a few things like leg curls that you pretty much *need* the machine for, but even then I’ll usually just go refill my water bottle and check back.
A woman next to a man at the gym assumes he's going to give her unwanted attention, either hitting on her or giving advice on her "form". If it wasn't her last set, it became her last set as soon as a man got next to her.
It's not a rejection of *you personally* as if she would be happier to work out next to someone she found more attractive. It's that based on past experience she would rather work out away from men in general.
Hahaha, theres this young guy at my gym who does this routine with Girls, and even Men sometimes (me included) of walking up to them and going “I study physical education, let me show you what you’re doing wrong”, and proceed to spend 5 minutes giving a speech and giving a demonstration. He did it with me and I was thinking “mate, you’re 20, i’m 37 and have been doing this for two decades. I don’t care but whatever i’ll indulge you this once out of politeness.” Whenever he’s there I just finish my set and go to the other side of the gym. He’s toned it down recently and just keeps to himself and dances to his music between sets now so maybe someone had a word to him. But if this what Women have to put up with regularly then fuck i’d scatter too.
For me it's the opposite Haha! It's always the old guys who look like sacks of potatoes approaching me and trying to vicariously implement their shitty routine through me. It's such a lack of self awareness tbh, as I'm often one of the most progressed physiques in my gym whenever I'm there.
You got more patience than me haha
My headphones dont come off my head, unless i see some idiot (normally a kid in his 20's) doing something idiotic or dangerous..
Like Loading up 20 plates on a leg press with chicken legs ..
The only advice I am happy to accept are the stoic huge dudes who don’t say shit and just work hard and keep to themselves. Because you know when they do have something to say to you they’re going out of their way to say it and you must be fucking up pretty bad.
I happily fulfill this role, nobody speak to me nor comment about the egregious bags under my eyes. I just need/love the gym, and I do not want to discuss my tattoos with you. But a smile tends to deter any awkwardness!
Edit: for grammar and story time
When I broke my ankle a few years ago I was at the gym on crutches, I remember a group of teens ended up taking over my area with my water and belts. All I said was, “would you, you know, move? With a light smile (they looked like they had committed a sin), I felt bad for that one lol
I wish I could be as polite as you. Anytime somebody walks up and talks to me I pull my headphone out, and if they start giving me #pOiNtErS, I just pop that headphone back in and look through them.
Was he carrying a rubber chicken by any chance? Every couple of weeks the local PD will have a meet & greet in the tantric yoga corner and rehearse their sacred chants.
I disagree unfortunately. In a way, it is a rejection of him, aa, if they found him attractive, more often then not they wouldn't have such a reaction, and futhermore would likely even move closer to him to do their sets if the opposite was true. I've been seeing this kind of behaviour a bunch in my own gym recently, and I just can unsee it now.
honestly not sure if i agree with this. i’d be embarrassed if a guy i was attracted to saw me struggling with equipment and sweaty. i’d feel under a microscope in a way and more self-conscious of my form? but i know i don’t speak for all, maybe some who are more confident in the gym think differently, but i wanted to provide my perspective
You're not wrong honestly, and I was like that before, but I've been making serious gains in the last 6 months, and my confidence has swelled immensely, maybe too much, but I feel like have to compensate for the decades I've lived with no confidence at all. And I see a lot of people who just come to chat, don't do full rom, don't bust there arse at all and make no progress. I'm also reinforced by the eyes on my at my gym, it's very evident that people are impressed with my form, and hard work that I put in. People are literally approaching me several times a week to tell me how good I look, and how hard I work. I don't say this to big note myself, please believe me, this factual shit.
I am not a woman, no. So I can only speak on my observations as a man, which may well be skewed. But in my personal experience, I've had a fair few of the women in my gym come to my area as I'm working out, and watch me pretty obviously, and even follow me to the next machine afterwards. But they say nothing, and do nothing further. Obviously there's a chance it's just a coincidence, but I don't think so. I wouldn't mind if they tried to make conversation, as a lot of males in my gym approach me to do such, but I'm also there to work out, not to have really long conversations and procrastinate etc... my take on it is, if you want to go out on a limb and flirt or whatever, make it quick and effective, and don't faff about.
I had that thought initially, but I don’t think that is necessarily the case. If it were just that he was horrendously unattractive, the woman would likely just not give him the time of day, maybe look away at most. My gut tells me that it’s something more like he’s doing something publicly that people think is annoying or gross (like nose picking or loudly farting), or that he smells bad or something like that. Could also be just a random “ick” that he’s giving off without realizing it.
Why do you even care? When I'm at the gym, I'm not counting how many reps other people are doing. If they move away, I literally couldn't give a shit.
Do you count the reps of all the men, too? Or is it just the 'females' you're concerned with?
Honestly, the energy people exert on assuming what complete strangers think must be utterly exhausting.
Women don't understand what it's like to be treated like a monster creep off rip everywhere you go for just existing lol. Not that I blame women either, I get it. But it does suck lol
Women experience a whole host of despicable shit most men can't understand either mate,band to be honest, they simply have had it worse all throughout history, and even currently. Not to say we don't have out own issues, as men have the highest suicide rate of the sexes, but that's another issue. I'd urge you not to fall into the us verse them trap, because it'll do you absolutely no good.
I've had a lot of female friends and a few serious relationships with very attractive women. Men are fucking weird, full stop lol. I get that a woman is not going to know if you're a weirdo or not, so best to be safe. I will say I have not really had OP's experience at the gym tho; if I start working out next to someone, they usually just mind their business and do their thing, woman or not.
Yeah me either, in fact I've noticed recently that the opposite has been happening for me. I guess it could be his demeanour and how he carries himself
I agree. Something about him or his demeanor is off-putting. I've also had similar experiences, with women purposely doing things near me a lot or even sometimes going out their way to talk to me first. Maybe he's staring or looking too hard without realizing it.
Women attempt suicide more often, men are just better at it - no one brings this up when they attack male stoicism though.
Not talking about my problems and doing productive work has been more effective than therapy for me.
Men don't understand that attractive women are constantly harassed and hit on. No, we don't want you to leer at us and strike up a convo. We are there to workout. Leave us alone. Most of those babes are probably already taken. No idea why OP thinks he's entitled for women to speak to him.
Ah and the downvote wasn't me tho.
To what you said: not true. I'm 6 foot and decently built. I understand why women (strangers) can be intimidated by me sometimes for no reason. At the gym tho, I haven't really had this happen. Even when I've talked to a woman who told me she was taken (not in the middle of a set or something), I respected immediately and walked away. She never "shyed" away from me after, she had no problem still working out around me and even next to me like normal. (Edit: is true actually* but not exclusively true)
Clearly you've never experienced what women do from men every single day. You simply don't understand why women are so closed off. If men were decent, polite and respectful women would be a whole lot more open to interacting with men on a daily basis.
You're failing to see outside your perspective and understand women.
I think you aren't understanding what I am saying.
I get why women are closed off. I understand completely 100% and I do know, pretty well actually, how men act and what they do. I don't know why I keep repeating this but alright. I'm confused on what exactly you're arguing with me here. I think you are assuming I am saying women should not act like that, which I never said. You are grouping me in with another subset of men because what I am saying is ringing alarm bells in your head and you're not actually hearing (reading) what I am saying.
Uhm, remember saying "Women don't understand what it's like to be treated like a monster creep off rip everywhere you go for just existing lol"...?
I just said why. Also women can pick up on weird guy vibes AKA knowing a guy is checking you out and wants to talk. They're not into it. Also, it's not about being intimidated. They're just not into you.
I agree, and not even sure what the guy is trying to say.
I am female & I will ask people (m or f) how many sets if I am in a hurry & they've been there awhile or they are doing to things at once hogging something" from that point on as a "waiter" the need to either be moving through the set or I may annoying give them evil eye unintentionally as not their personal gym...I depise having to ask especially when some ahole does the 2 things at once on a desirable/limited thing like a leg press...but beyond that not anything to think about regarding the person using it.
As the equipment user, I either say "just got started" or "one set" or give More Helpful actual time estimate ...and don't think anything else ...if op is trying to say women are saying "one set" so he hovers, that is huge overreach, as a female I would have never in a million years image a guy could think I was giving some kind of hidden meaning to that! Also, as other post said some people say "one set" just to wrap it up & do something else in peace.
I'm totally antisocial when I'm at the gym. I'm there for me, not to worry about whether I've offended some random bloke because I'm not smiling at him and I need to move to a different machine.
I get the feeling he's there assuming all women are secretly worrying that he's perving on them because he's watched too many TikToks. In reality, they probably don't even notice he exists. Bizarre.
Yes, agreed. I am pretty antisocial at the gym, too, lol! I say I'm "purposeful" when I am at the gym & actually like to go when it's pretty empty so I can move from thing to thing with focus...but even then there seems to be one guy who decides to just sit on his phone on like a leg machine ...can we all at least agree if someone is going to literally sit on a machine don't pick an "in demand" one, lol...then some poor unsuspecting girl won't have to end up as a subject on a future message "girl at gym every time asks me how many sets when it's clear I'm just sitting there" lol.
What, so I'm responsible for validating complete strangers at the gym because you don't validate the men in your life? Or is it just that you think they're entitled to validation from random women?
OP might be single and hoping to potentially hit up their gym crush and is trying to get a feel for whether they come off as a creeper?
They might have self esteem issues and being into women might be reading into the actions of the people they're attracted to around them more than the ones they're not?
I'm single and go to the gym, never hit on anyone there but there's a few women there I'm crushing on and I'd totally read way to into it if I went to a machine by them and they ran away so fast they left a wiley coyote dust cloud behind too lol.
The energy people exert on reddit to belittle people with self esteem issues is the real marvel and must be a tiring way to live when every post you see online makes you seethe with anger over someone elses personal hangups.
All of these things may be the case, and it's awesome that OP is going to the gym to be healthy. But the gym isn't really the place to go to develop crushes on people, or expect them to help with your self-esteem. Therapists do that. The gym is a place people go to work out and often have time for themselves, and very rarely do people want to be 'hit up'.
I would never ever criticise someone for having issues with self-esteem. I've had those issues most of my life. But I am critical of people who project their insecurities onto complete strangers and feel entitled to some kind of reaction from them. You don't know that these women ran away. They might have just moved away for a myriad of reasons. They don't owe OP their attention, just because he's in their vicinity and might have low self-esteem.
Edit: Also, who's seething with anger? Having opinions you don't like doesn't mean I'm angry.
don't think too much about what the opposite sex does and more about what the opposite sex wants. all these ladies out here are scared and scarred from strangers so I don't blame em. don't take it personally
Be honest tho are you looking at them bootys in yoga pants ? Females notice that shit lol they might think your a perv potentially if they catch those eyes agaze lmao
Women sometimes project their fears/desires/perceptions onto men. In this case they are not reacting to you at all. They react to their ideas about you.
If their reactions are consistent across women and time then there is something about you which they all perceive similarly. That means it is within your sphere to alter. It might still be projection, but it is prevalent enough to make changes.
Sometimes I do this because I feel awkward and self conscious about whether or not I’m doing my workout right and I don’t wanna be judged. Also if it’s a machine that puts me in an awkward position like a hip abductor then I’ll walk away just cause I don’t like doing that in front of anyone, esp a guy. Don’t take it personally!
As a dude I get like this when I’m doing compound lifts like squats or deadlifts. Then some jacked dude starts doing the same exercise in the power rack over. Start questioning my form and confidence. Lots of times I power through, but god damn its hard!
……what in the hell is so goddamn offensive about “female”? Does it sound too clinical or something? I have never been the slightest bit offended at the term “male”, like what is the big deal? This is a genuine question
Why not just say women? I always hear dudes say men and females. It’s kinda weird no? The only time I use male or female is to describe something like a profession or biology. Otherwise it’s women or girls.
Im not offended to clarify I just associate it with gym bros and military dudes and I think it's really funny, like, oddly technical. It's not how I would ever use the word casually.
The reason why some people are genuinely offended is female is used to describe animals and they feel they are being referred to as if they are animals. I don't hear it that way but I understand how that sounds to some peeps
Alright then, you feel how you feel I guess, I’m just saying that people should pick better things to get pissed about, I can assure you that the vast majority of men do not view ladies as zoo animals lmao
I have never once noticed what someone is doing next to me at the gym unless they fell off the treadmill. Maybe you should get an audio book to listen to.
I'm peaking that ass 100%. It's rude to stare though. I'm just minding my own business.
Best believe these women are catching peaks too. Getting treated like a piece of meat when you wear some gray sweatpants.
I even had a woman grab my ass the other day. She was married. To me though. I still hit it.
If I’m on my “last set” that wasn’t a last set, it’s because the person smells like absolute ass. OP, how is your hygiene? Do you shower before gym? Wear deodorant? Brush your teeth?
why are we pretending to understand this dude, he almost makes sense for a second but way too little sense for 2 whole sentences. not worth time or a thought, go on tinder bro you'll find something, next post
It could be a coincidence. It could be they find your face visually offensive. It could be that the scent you are emitting is repulsive. It could be that they think you are going to try and hit on them. It could be they get a bad vibe from you. It could be you look unfriendly. It could be that you look like the local sexual predator. It could be that they were a victim of a sexual offense. It could be that they don't want to be a victim of a sexual offense. It could be that they don't want to risk exposure to the parasites you are carrying. It could be that they don't want to catch whatever disease you are carrying. It could be they don't want to be around someone with an STD.
Not every action is body language. There is no way for you to know the reason unless you ask them and they tell you.
I feel like a certain amount of the women at my gym are very uncomfortable around me. People don't walk away and leave, but I feel like women sometimes feel like I'm following them around (I am, we are both doing legs today, so yeah we are using the same pieces of equipment) or staring at them (I am, our machines are facing each other and I'm not going to do my sets with my head turned sideways and I'd be staring at someone else then even if I did).
I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, but I do want to exist for myself.
Just the fact that you are noticing when people leave is kinda creepy. I personally don't notice or care at all what people are doing around me at the gym. I wouldn't be able to tell you how many sets someone did near me, because I'm there to workout and am focused on myself. Sounds pretty obvious these women are picking up on your creepy vibes and noping out of there. I had a women recently who followed me after every set to my next area. After the third time, I realized I was being followed, cut my workout short, and left. Creepy people are usually pretty obvious, so I'm sure these women are immediately picking up your creepy vibes. Pay less attention to what others are doing (unless it's bothering you) and focus on your workout
Jesus Christ what a reach. Men can’t even talk about some problems they have without people suddenly doing some ridiculous mental gymnastics in order to call them a creep.
The gym can mess with your confidence. For whatever reasons girls seem very wary aorund men and while understandable to a degree it does seem a bit excessive. It often just makes the guy feel like he’s doing something wrong, or that maybe everyone thinks he’s a creep, which is literally exactly what you’re doing. Fuck off.
Yes we do this. I had a guy last night whom I accidentally glanced his way and nearly immediately he tried engaging me in convo, so I went to the other side of the gym. He left me alone for awhile but then he was right next to me again in the free weights so I left and did stairmaster
Even if I am attracted to a guy I do not want to
Be spoken to at the gym while working out. Water fountain is the only area I will accept a little convo
I always sweat a decent amount at the pace I move at so I always try to skip a space between the machine and any women that I think might be worth chatting with at some point. No one wants sweat flung at them!! The only ones I don't really sweat at are the recumbent bikes or rowing machines as those don't work up as much as a sweat. I notice some women actually seem to pick machines that are close to me so I'm doing something right. It's funny because you almost get a clue that a woman is into you because she conveniently picks a machine that is close to me at the same time each day. I'm thinking about trying to start a conversation with her as she seems too shy to say anything
Woman’s reaction to men at the gym is a fault of men not a fault of woman. If it annoys you direct to other men to stop being creepy not to woman to stop being creeped out.
They’re just doing their workouts. If you’re noticing a pattern it is what it is. Are you rough in appearance or smell like shit? Are you very loud and abrasive in speech and mannerism? If you’re generally an unpleasant person that could contribute to women fleeing the area every time you come around. Honestly the way you call women females doesn’t give you any extra benefit of the doubt
The gym can be pretty confidence crushing in this way. Some girls will try to make eye contact with me, follow me around the gym, etc. while others will act like I’m the grossest thing alive. I’ve started avoiding working out next to a girl at all costs. I never work out in a way where my machine is across from another machine with a girl on it. I always stare at the ground and never look around as I don’t want to look like I’m looking at any girls.
It honestly does mess with my confidence and I’m sure it does for a lot of other guys to. I can’t help but worry I look creepy, or give off some bad vibe, or look ugly, or whatever
The most common rep scheme for any exercise is usually 3x8-12. So if they were already on the equipment before your first set, then there’s a 50% chance of it being their last set.
But it’s still probably because you’re creepy since you NOTICE it and they notice you “noticing” them for their entire set. I don’t pay attention to when other people at the gym are finishing up their sets. I’m too focused on getting my workout done.
I’m a dude and I get uncomfortable being near people. I make it a point to go at low / no traffic times. I wouldn’t take it personally. Even hot girls have social anxiety / value their privacy
Idk if it really has anything to do with him I think it’s all about location. Women are constantly on the lookout for potential interferences and threats and unless you’re someone who she instantly notices and is attracted to you probably fall into the category of potential annoyance. Honestly the gym is a pretty vulnerable place for most people and we’d probably be better off if we all just minded our own business while we’re there
I don’t think it’s a bad thing that he cares. He doesn’t want to come across as creepy or gross to women when he’s at the gym. . I wish more guys cared and had that level of self awareness lol some of them can’t take a hint for shit
I think it’s a fair enough question. It’s like that episode of Black Mirror where the guy is digitally blocked from interacting with anyone but doesn’t know why. You would at least wanna know what’s up.
Definitely agree with most of these comments. Focus on yourself. Destroy yourself at the gym. Don't half arse anything. No half measures. Every set to failure, until you're grunting like an animal. You'll see results, and so will everyone else. Trust me, man.
It's nothing personal lol but a lot of men are weird and will stand their awkwardly and watch you finish your set. It's annoying and not worth the hassle
I think he's saying that if he uses some equipment that is next to a female who is using different equipment??? If that's the case, I don't know. Either they think you're creepy, or they are just ready to move to their next exercise.
True but it could also just be that they don’t want to be doing their workout right next to a man, period (creepy or not) . I kinda get like that when I’m working out. If someone comes right up next to me to do their set while I’m doing mine I just go to another exercise bc I don’t want to be *right* next to someone while I’m doing mine. It’s nothing they did wrong, I just think it’s awkward sometimes, especially if I’m doing squats or something else that’s kinda…not what I want to be doing in front of a random dude lol.
I’m a 6’4” dude and I’m pretty much the same. I value my personal space at the gym. If I was a woman I’m sure that would increase many thousands of percent.
Same, even if a hot chick comes up works out next to me and takes off the pump cover I’m there to be a primal animal and social interaction doesn’t coincide with that…
Yeah, true. I work out at home, so it's never an issue. But I wouldn't want someone working out next to me either.
He’s saying as soon as he takes a machine next to a woman, she hurries up and finishes and moves away from him
I say the same to guys/girls, its because its annoying people ask me about how many sets I have left. Because if you say 2 or 3, they will awkwardly be close to you and make you rush. I rather say 1 and do another excercise in peace without anyone bothering me If i understood this correctly ofcourse - or you just stand next to girls?
I think he means he goes to use something near them and they basically immediately disperse.
What? He said when he uses the machine *next to them* , he’s not waiting for them to be done .
Hahahaha if they hover around instead of doing something else I rest extra between those sets 😂I already rest at like 4+ minutes between em, sorry forgot to mention that my dude
I never interrupt somebody to ask how many sets they have left. It sucks to get asked that. Usually I’ll notice the machine is taken from 20 feet away and can just do a different exercise out of order, or worst case scenario I can almost always work the same muscle group with freeweights. There’s a few things like leg curls that you pretty much *need* the machine for, but even then I’ll usually just go refill my water bottle and check back.
A woman next to a man at the gym assumes he's going to give her unwanted attention, either hitting on her or giving advice on her "form". If it wasn't her last set, it became her last set as soon as a man got next to her. It's not a rejection of *you personally* as if she would be happier to work out next to someone she found more attractive. It's that based on past experience she would rather work out away from men in general.
Hahaha, theres this young guy at my gym who does this routine with Girls, and even Men sometimes (me included) of walking up to them and going “I study physical education, let me show you what you’re doing wrong”, and proceed to spend 5 minutes giving a speech and giving a demonstration. He did it with me and I was thinking “mate, you’re 20, i’m 37 and have been doing this for two decades. I don’t care but whatever i’ll indulge you this once out of politeness.” Whenever he’s there I just finish my set and go to the other side of the gym. He’s toned it down recently and just keeps to himself and dances to his music between sets now so maybe someone had a word to him. But if this what Women have to put up with regularly then fuck i’d scatter too.
For me it's the opposite Haha! It's always the old guys who look like sacks of potatoes approaching me and trying to vicariously implement their shitty routine through me. It's such a lack of self awareness tbh, as I'm often one of the most progressed physiques in my gym whenever I'm there.
You got more patience than me haha My headphones dont come off my head, unless i see some idiot (normally a kid in his 20's) doing something idiotic or dangerous.. Like Loading up 20 plates on a leg press with chicken legs ..
The only advice I am happy to accept are the stoic huge dudes who don’t say shit and just work hard and keep to themselves. Because you know when they do have something to say to you they’re going out of their way to say it and you must be fucking up pretty bad.
I happily fulfill this role, nobody speak to me nor comment about the egregious bags under my eyes. I just need/love the gym, and I do not want to discuss my tattoos with you. But a smile tends to deter any awkwardness! Edit: for grammar and story time When I broke my ankle a few years ago I was at the gym on crutches, I remember a group of teens ended up taking over my area with my water and belts. All I said was, “would you, you know, move? With a light smile (they looked like they had committed a sin), I felt bad for that one lol
If I walk up to someone at the gym it’s to compliment or get advice, trying to get better at my sport.
I wish I could be as polite as you. Anytime somebody walks up and talks to me I pull my headphone out, and if they start giving me #pOiNtErS, I just pop that headphone back in and look through them.
I wish I could be as pointed as you. I’m too nice.
Was he carrying a rubber chicken by any chance? Every couple of weeks the local PD will have a meet & greet in the tantric yoga corner and rehearse their sacred chants.
I disagree unfortunately. In a way, it is a rejection of him, aa, if they found him attractive, more often then not they wouldn't have such a reaction, and futhermore would likely even move closer to him to do their sets if the opposite was true. I've been seeing this kind of behaviour a bunch in my own gym recently, and I just can unsee it now.
honestly not sure if i agree with this. i’d be embarrassed if a guy i was attracted to saw me struggling with equipment and sweaty. i’d feel under a microscope in a way and more self-conscious of my form? but i know i don’t speak for all, maybe some who are more confident in the gym think differently, but i wanted to provide my perspective
If you're 1/4 cute, you could balance a 5lb dumbbell on your head and spin in circles and guys would complement your form.
You're not wrong honestly, and I was like that before, but I've been making serious gains in the last 6 months, and my confidence has swelled immensely, maybe too much, but I feel like have to compensate for the decades I've lived with no confidence at all. And I see a lot of people who just come to chat, don't do full rom, don't bust there arse at all and make no progress. I'm also reinforced by the eyes on my at my gym, it's very evident that people are impressed with my form, and hard work that I put in. People are literally approaching me several times a week to tell me how good I look, and how hard I work. I don't say this to big note myself, please believe me, this factual shit.
Yea boiiiiii let's get it!!! 💪
Are you a woman? Are you open to picking up guys at the gym, or would you rather be left alone regardless of whether the guy is attractive?
I am not a woman, no. So I can only speak on my observations as a man, which may well be skewed. But in my personal experience, I've had a fair few of the women in my gym come to my area as I'm working out, and watch me pretty obviously, and even follow me to the next machine afterwards. But they say nothing, and do nothing further. Obviously there's a chance it's just a coincidence, but I don't think so. I wouldn't mind if they tried to make conversation, as a lot of males in my gym approach me to do such, but I'm also there to work out, not to have really long conversations and procrastinate etc... my take on it is, if you want to go out on a limb and flirt or whatever, make it quick and effective, and don't faff about.
Focus on yourself it doesn't matter bud
If you’re not there to hit on them then ignore them and focus on your workout
You might be ugly
I had that thought initially, but I don’t think that is necessarily the case. If it were just that he was horrendously unattractive, the woman would likely just not give him the time of day, maybe look away at most. My gut tells me that it’s something more like he’s doing something publicly that people think is annoying or gross (like nose picking or loudly farting), or that he smells bad or something like that. Could also be just a random “ick” that he’s giving off without realizing it.
I don’t judge looks but stink….. I’ll talk some shit
Its normal to stink at the gym
Why do you even care? When I'm at the gym, I'm not counting how many reps other people are doing. If they move away, I literally couldn't give a shit. Do you count the reps of all the men, too? Or is it just the 'females' you're concerned with? Honestly, the energy people exert on assuming what complete strangers think must be utterly exhausting.
I think he might just be feeling a little disheartened over the possibility that he's repulsing these women. Don't be too hard on the guy
Women don't understand what it's like to be treated like a monster creep off rip everywhere you go for just existing lol. Not that I blame women either, I get it. But it does suck lol
Women experience a whole host of despicable shit most men can't understand either mate,band to be honest, they simply have had it worse all throughout history, and even currently. Not to say we don't have out own issues, as men have the highest suicide rate of the sexes, but that's another issue. I'd urge you not to fall into the us verse them trap, because it'll do you absolutely no good.
Did you not read my comment, I said I don't blame women either, I get it.
Sure
I've had a lot of female friends and a few serious relationships with very attractive women. Men are fucking weird, full stop lol. I get that a woman is not going to know if you're a weirdo or not, so best to be safe. I will say I have not really had OP's experience at the gym tho; if I start working out next to someone, they usually just mind their business and do their thing, woman or not.
Yeah me either, in fact I've noticed recently that the opposite has been happening for me. I guess it could be his demeanour and how he carries himself
I agree. Something about him or his demeanor is off-putting. I've also had similar experiences, with women purposely doing things near me a lot or even sometimes going out their way to talk to me first. Maybe he's staring or looking too hard without realizing it.
Women attempt suicide more often, men are just better at it - no one brings this up when they attack male stoicism though. Not talking about my problems and doing productive work has been more effective than therapy for me.
Men don't understand that attractive women are constantly harassed and hit on. No, we don't want you to leer at us and strike up a convo. We are there to workout. Leave us alone. Most of those babes are probably already taken. No idea why OP thinks he's entitled for women to speak to him.
Read the rest of my comments.
Women treat men like monster creeps when they're being one
Ah and the downvote wasn't me tho. To what you said: not true. I'm 6 foot and decently built. I understand why women (strangers) can be intimidated by me sometimes for no reason. At the gym tho, I haven't really had this happen. Even when I've talked to a woman who told me she was taken (not in the middle of a set or something), I respected immediately and walked away. She never "shyed" away from me after, she had no problem still working out around me and even next to me like normal. (Edit: is true actually* but not exclusively true)
Clearly you've never experienced what women do from men every single day. You simply don't understand why women are so closed off. If men were decent, polite and respectful women would be a whole lot more open to interacting with men on a daily basis. You're failing to see outside your perspective and understand women.
I think you aren't understanding what I am saying. I get why women are closed off. I understand completely 100% and I do know, pretty well actually, how men act and what they do. I don't know why I keep repeating this but alright. I'm confused on what exactly you're arguing with me here. I think you are assuming I am saying women should not act like that, which I never said. You are grouping me in with another subset of men because what I am saying is ringing alarm bells in your head and you're not actually hearing (reading) what I am saying.
Uhm, remember saying "Women don't understand what it's like to be treated like a monster creep off rip everywhere you go for just existing lol"...? I just said why. Also women can pick up on weird guy vibes AKA knowing a guy is checking you out and wants to talk. They're not into it. Also, it's not about being intimidated. They're just not into you.
I agree, and not even sure what the guy is trying to say. I am female & I will ask people (m or f) how many sets if I am in a hurry & they've been there awhile or they are doing to things at once hogging something" from that point on as a "waiter" the need to either be moving through the set or I may annoying give them evil eye unintentionally as not their personal gym...I depise having to ask especially when some ahole does the 2 things at once on a desirable/limited thing like a leg press...but beyond that not anything to think about regarding the person using it. As the equipment user, I either say "just got started" or "one set" or give More Helpful actual time estimate ...and don't think anything else ...if op is trying to say women are saying "one set" so he hovers, that is huge overreach, as a female I would have never in a million years image a guy could think I was giving some kind of hidden meaning to that! Also, as other post said some people say "one set" just to wrap it up & do something else in peace.
I'm totally antisocial when I'm at the gym. I'm there for me, not to worry about whether I've offended some random bloke because I'm not smiling at him and I need to move to a different machine. I get the feeling he's there assuming all women are secretly worrying that he's perving on them because he's watched too many TikToks. In reality, they probably don't even notice he exists. Bizarre.
Yes, agreed. I am pretty antisocial at the gym, too, lol! I say I'm "purposeful" when I am at the gym & actually like to go when it's pretty empty so I can move from thing to thing with focus...but even then there seems to be one guy who decides to just sit on his phone on like a leg machine ...can we all at least agree if someone is going to literally sit on a machine don't pick an "in demand" one, lol...then some poor unsuspecting girl won't have to end up as a subject on a future message "girl at gym every time asks me how many sets when it's clear I'm just sitting there" lol.
Men are starving for any form of validation lol
What, so I'm responsible for validating complete strangers at the gym because you don't validate the men in your life? Or is it just that you think they're entitled to validation from random women?
OP might be single and hoping to potentially hit up their gym crush and is trying to get a feel for whether they come off as a creeper? They might have self esteem issues and being into women might be reading into the actions of the people they're attracted to around them more than the ones they're not? I'm single and go to the gym, never hit on anyone there but there's a few women there I'm crushing on and I'd totally read way to into it if I went to a machine by them and they ran away so fast they left a wiley coyote dust cloud behind too lol. The energy people exert on reddit to belittle people with self esteem issues is the real marvel and must be a tiring way to live when every post you see online makes you seethe with anger over someone elses personal hangups.
All of these things may be the case, and it's awesome that OP is going to the gym to be healthy. But the gym isn't really the place to go to develop crushes on people, or expect them to help with your self-esteem. Therapists do that. The gym is a place people go to work out and often have time for themselves, and very rarely do people want to be 'hit up'. I would never ever criticise someone for having issues with self-esteem. I've had those issues most of my life. But I am critical of people who project their insecurities onto complete strangers and feel entitled to some kind of reaction from them. You don't know that these women ran away. They might have just moved away for a myriad of reasons. They don't owe OP their attention, just because he's in their vicinity and might have low self-esteem. Edit: Also, who's seething with anger? Having opinions you don't like doesn't mean I'm angry.
don't think too much about what the opposite sex does and more about what the opposite sex wants. all these ladies out here are scared and scarred from strangers so I don't blame em. don't take it personally
Be honest tho are you looking at them bootys in yoga pants ? Females notice that shit lol they might think your a perv potentially if they catch those eyes agaze lmao
Maybe they think they might be watched. Not sure.
Women sometimes project their fears/desires/perceptions onto men. In this case they are not reacting to you at all. They react to their ideas about you. If their reactions are consistent across women and time then there is something about you which they all perceive similarly. That means it is within your sphere to alter. It might still be projection, but it is prevalent enough to make changes.
Sometimes I do this because I feel awkward and self conscious about whether or not I’m doing my workout right and I don’t wanna be judged. Also if it’s a machine that puts me in an awkward position like a hip abductor then I’ll walk away just cause I don’t like doing that in front of anyone, esp a guy. Don’t take it personally!
As a dude I get like this when I’m doing compound lifts like squats or deadlifts. Then some jacked dude starts doing the same exercise in the power rack over. Start questioning my form and confidence. Lots of times I power through, but god damn its hard!
~females~
……what in the hell is so goddamn offensive about “female”? Does it sound too clinical or something? I have never been the slightest bit offended at the term “male”, like what is the big deal? This is a genuine question
I know. I don’t get it either. I’m a woman and I don’t get offended by the word “female” I think we’re all getting a little too sensitive
Btw sorry about the swearing, I know we’re adults here but still. Came off a bit more coarse than I meant for it to be
Why not just say women? I always hear dudes say men and females. It’s kinda weird no? The only time I use male or female is to describe something like a profession or biology. Otherwise it’s women or girls.
IDK, Nutting4Jesus. Couldn’t really tell you
Im not offended to clarify I just associate it with gym bros and military dudes and I think it's really funny, like, oddly technical. It's not how I would ever use the word casually. The reason why some people are genuinely offended is female is used to describe animals and they feel they are being referred to as if they are animals. I don't hear it that way but I understand how that sounds to some peeps
It’s talking about women like they’re animals in a zoo.
Alright then, you feel how you feel I guess, I’m just saying that people should pick better things to get pissed about, I can assure you that the vast majority of men do not view ladies as zoo animals lmao
I always say that with a Ferengi accent.
Haha god I love ds9
Entrapment is one helluva drug, ay fuzzball?
Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack - Rule of Acquisition number 109.
* a woman.
a gym dude calling women "females" is classic
It gets funnier if you imagine females pronounced the same way as tamales haha.
I have never once noticed what someone is doing next to me at the gym unless they fell off the treadmill. Maybe you should get an audio book to listen to.
I stepped on a moving treadmill once in a full gym. A lot of people noticed me that day.
If she glances smile. May just be a weird coincidence
I'm peaking that ass 100%. It's rude to stare though. I'm just minding my own business. Best believe these women are catching peaks too. Getting treated like a piece of meat when you wear some gray sweatpants. I even had a woman grab my ass the other day. She was married. To me though. I still hit it.
If I’m on my “last set” that wasn’t a last set, it’s because the person smells like absolute ass. OP, how is your hygiene? Do you shower before gym? Wear deodorant? Brush your teeth?
why are we pretending to understand this dude, he almost makes sense for a second but way too little sense for 2 whole sentences. not worth time or a thought, go on tinder bro you'll find something, next post
He’s saying any time he works out next to girl just by chance they leave right as he sits down. Really not that hard to understand
icing on the cake is if you're one of those gym dudes that need a "female" with some sort of standard of physique for you 😂
Maybe just stop paying attention to others during a workout lol
Probably don't call them females for starters.. Without looking at you, there's no way of knowing what these women might be thinking
It could be a coincidence. It could be they find your face visually offensive. It could be that the scent you are emitting is repulsive. It could be that they think you are going to try and hit on them. It could be they get a bad vibe from you. It could be you look unfriendly. It could be that you look like the local sexual predator. It could be that they were a victim of a sexual offense. It could be that they don't want to be a victim of a sexual offense. It could be that they don't want to risk exposure to the parasites you are carrying. It could be that they don't want to catch whatever disease you are carrying. It could be they don't want to be around someone with an STD. Not every action is body language. There is no way for you to know the reason unless you ask them and they tell you.
Any chance you don’t smell so fresh?
Most women dont want to get hit on at the gym. They're picking up your vibes and making it their last set.
I feel like a certain amount of the women at my gym are very uncomfortable around me. People don't walk away and leave, but I feel like women sometimes feel like I'm following them around (I am, we are both doing legs today, so yeah we are using the same pieces of equipment) or staring at them (I am, our machines are facing each other and I'm not going to do my sets with my head turned sideways and I'd be staring at someone else then even if I did). I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, but I do want to exist for myself.
Just the fact that you are noticing when people leave is kinda creepy. I personally don't notice or care at all what people are doing around me at the gym. I wouldn't be able to tell you how many sets someone did near me, because I'm there to workout and am focused on myself. Sounds pretty obvious these women are picking up on your creepy vibes and noping out of there. I had a women recently who followed me after every set to my next area. After the third time, I realized I was being followed, cut my workout short, and left. Creepy people are usually pretty obvious, so I'm sure these women are immediately picking up your creepy vibes. Pay less attention to what others are doing (unless it's bothering you) and focus on your workout
Jesus Christ what a reach. Men can’t even talk about some problems they have without people suddenly doing some ridiculous mental gymnastics in order to call them a creep. The gym can mess with your confidence. For whatever reasons girls seem very wary aorund men and while understandable to a degree it does seem a bit excessive. It often just makes the guy feel like he’s doing something wrong, or that maybe everyone thinks he’s a creep, which is literally exactly what you’re doing. Fuck off.
Found another creep
Classic. Learn to not be a shit person
Smell can be quite intimidating.
Yes we do this. I had a guy last night whom I accidentally glanced his way and nearly immediately he tried engaging me in convo, so I went to the other side of the gym. He left me alone for awhile but then he was right next to me again in the free weights so I left and did stairmaster Even if I am attracted to a guy I do not want to Be spoken to at the gym while working out. Water fountain is the only area I will accept a little convo
I always sweat a decent amount at the pace I move at so I always try to skip a space between the machine and any women that I think might be worth chatting with at some point. No one wants sweat flung at them!! The only ones I don't really sweat at are the recumbent bikes or rowing machines as those don't work up as much as a sweat. I notice some women actually seem to pick machines that are close to me so I'm doing something right. It's funny because you almost get a clue that a woman is into you because she conveniently picks a machine that is close to me at the same time each day. I'm thinking about trying to start a conversation with her as she seems too shy to say anything
Woman’s reaction to men at the gym is a fault of men not a fault of woman. If it annoys you direct to other men to stop being creepy not to woman to stop being creeped out.
They’re just doing their workouts. If you’re noticing a pattern it is what it is. Are you rough in appearance or smell like shit? Are you very loud and abrasive in speech and mannerism? If you’re generally an unpleasant person that could contribute to women fleeing the area every time you come around. Honestly the way you call women females doesn’t give you any extra benefit of the doubt
The gym can be pretty confidence crushing in this way. Some girls will try to make eye contact with me, follow me around the gym, etc. while others will act like I’m the grossest thing alive. I’ve started avoiding working out next to a girl at all costs. I never work out in a way where my machine is across from another machine with a girl on it. I always stare at the ground and never look around as I don’t want to look like I’m looking at any girls. It honestly does mess with my confidence and I’m sure it does for a lot of other guys to. I can’t help but worry I look creepy, or give off some bad vibe, or look ugly, or whatever
I think if you're noticing what they're doing you probably are paying them to much attention.
The most common rep scheme for any exercise is usually 3x8-12. So if they were already on the equipment before your first set, then there’s a 50% chance of it being their last set. But it’s still probably because you’re creepy since you NOTICE it and they notice you “noticing” them for their entire set. I don’t pay attention to when other people at the gym are finishing up their sets. I’m too focused on getting my workout done.
r/menandfemales
I’m a dude and I get uncomfortable being near people. I make it a point to go at low / no traffic times. I wouldn’t take it personally. Even hot girls have social anxiety / value their privacy
Why do you care brother?
If women (who I'm trying to attract) are repulsed by my proximity, I think it's good info to know.
Idk if it really has anything to do with him I think it’s all about location. Women are constantly on the lookout for potential interferences and threats and unless you’re someone who she instantly notices and is attracted to you probably fall into the category of potential annoyance. Honestly the gym is a pretty vulnerable place for most people and we’d probably be better off if we all just minded our own business while we’re there
I don’t think it’s a bad thing that he cares. He doesn’t want to come across as creepy or gross to women when he’s at the gym. . I wish more guys cared and had that level of self awareness lol some of them can’t take a hint for shit
I think it’s a fair enough question. It’s like that episode of Black Mirror where the guy is digitally blocked from interacting with anyone but doesn’t know why. You would at least wanna know what’s up.
Definitely agree with most of these comments. Focus on yourself. Destroy yourself at the gym. Don't half arse anything. No half measures. Every set to failure, until you're grunting like an animal. You'll see results, and so will everyone else. Trust me, man.
This is somehow the right answer to something but not what he’s asking lol
Yeah I often do this, I don't know why my brain works that way lol
Why complain about open equipment.
I would rather wait until she’s finished and leaves to occupy that empty machine. She’s in her last set? No problem, just wait her out.
It's nothing personal lol but a lot of men are weird and will stand their awkwardly and watch you finish your set. It's annoying and not worth the hassle
How's that a problem if I may ask?