I was surprised that no one at work made much of a stink about Ifemelu's Afro. There were a few confused comments, but no outright discrimination, at least so far. I wouldn't be surprised if straightening her hair gave Ifemelu an advantage in interviews, which sucks. But I'm glad she was able to go back to a natural style without too much fuss (after the horrible physical injuries, that is).
I have the most curly hair on the side of not afro and this part was so good. The importance of hair for a woman's self image. The pain when you put damaging chemical in your hair that smell like poison. The work to learn to love yourself as you are. It was beautiful.
It broke my heart when she hated her hair after her big chop. I frequent /r/curlyhair and you'll sometimes see people come in there in despair over their natural curls and hating themselves. But to see her find her community online and embrace her natural hair . . . it felt empowering and that she was settling into her own skin, finding who she wanted to be on her own terms.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/curlyhair using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [I finally found a hair dresser who knew what to do with my hair.](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/17xh5i3) | [315 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/17xh5i3/i_finally_found_a_hair_dresser_who_knew_what_to/)
\#2: [Why does my dog have such amazing curly hair? It’s not fair.](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/17bcxzo) | [623 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/17bcxzo/why_does_my_dog_have_such_amazing_curly_hair_its/)
\#3: [I didn’t even know my hair curled until growing out during lockdown in 2020. Never going back](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/12x1pvi) | [269 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/12x1pvi/i_didnt_even_know_my_hair_curled_until_growing/)
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I think she was just done - not angry, but just resigned. She knew Obinze had always planned to go to the US, but now he seemingly can't, through no fault of his own. And it's not like Obinze just twiddled his thumbs in response - he tried his best to find a job but couldn't get hired. I can understand his mother thinking that maybe getting him to the UK might be the break Obinze needed, the small change that lead to the good fortune he'd need to achieve his goals. That's not to say Obinze wouldn't need to work hard to achieve his goals - but a lot of times there's also an element of chance for things lining up at the right time. I think his mother hoped this would be the beginning of a change that led to greater happiness for him.
Obinze was surprised by his mom's willingness to break her principals and values to help him. Doing things by the book "had become a luxury they could no longer afford." It is a reflection of the hopelessness of finding employment and making money in current Nigeria.
I think her choice was probably necessary for Obinze to get his start in life, but it also made him view his mother differently and I wonder whether their relationship will recover.
Bartholomew is just as problematic as the General was but he cannot offer Aunty Uju any kind of financial security. He expects her to do all the work around the house, but does not let her make crucial decisions for their family, especially Dike. Their relationship fails because he tries to get in between her and ability to mother.
I would go so far as to say that Bartholomew is more problematic than the General. The General reveled in “treating” Aunty Uju, which while problematic, is ultimately not as harmful. She was still able to pursue her interests without financial worries, and he suggests before he dies that he would be present for Dike. Their relationship was transactional, but mutually beneficial, even if he let her down. Bartholomew is just so dismissive of her and Dike. He is fully using her and giving nothing in return.
Aunty Uju married Bartholomew out of desperation rather than any actual affinity for him. It was a marriage of convenience for both of them: she needed stability while she was still getting settled in the U.S. Then once she started making more money, Bartholomew decided he was entitled to it. Something that transactional is bound to fall apart.
He wanted all the money she worked so hard for! It seemed like Bartholomew wanted Uju more for her money, cooking, and probably cleaning than he actually cared for her. It was a relationship of convenience for both (I don't think Unu ever loved him), but Bartholomew took that convenience too far.
5. Aunty Uju and Dike both express some of the struggles of being black in America. How do these moments described tie to the blog post "Understanding America for the Non-American Black: American Tribalism"?
The struggle is real! Being African in America still means being black in America. Ifemelu notices in her essays that the American African wants to be above the African-American class, and that it just makes life harder, because people including non-white people will still see your blackness.
One thing that stuck out to me was Ifemelu's point about people in African and Caribbean countries not thinking of themselves as black. I was surprised at first but it makes sense: black people are the majority in those countries, so they probably just think of themselves as people, us, Nigerians, etc. Being black only becomes important or different when you're somewhere with some other racial majority. And when that somewhere is the U.S. with its incredibly fraught racial situation, you're in for a complicated time to say the least.
Dike likely doesn’t have any conscious memories of Nigeria, and Ifemelu worries that Igbo is becoming the language of fear for him, since Aunty Uju only uses it when angry. Nigeria could become a place of fear for Dike.
This is something I've seen in real life, both only as threats and carried out. It's just awful for the child, it feeds the feeling that part of them is wrong. And when they go back to visit, it produces very complicated feelings of both superiority and inferiority, amplifying the gap between the immigrants and the people there.
We know Curt and Ifemelu don't work out, but given what we know so far and the social miasma he's from.... I fear it will only be all shades of bad to terrible.
* There is this quote: "took \[him\] back to a time when he still believed the universe would bend according to his will." I thought this could be either Curt or Obinze. Maybe Ifemelu does have a type!
* I like the author's choice to go back and forth between the narration of Obinze and Ifemelu, and that their relationship is an underlying theme rather than in your face. Like we read about Obinze's struggle in London and get only a small glimpse into his longing for Ifemelu. I like the author's choice in making their love subtle even though we are all on the edge about their future.
* I wonder if Obinze will also come to the same conclusion as Ifemelu: that both America and England are better as a fantasy than a reality. He does go back to Nigeria so it's a good chance.
Good point about the alternating narration, I'm also enjoying that aspect. Without this approach, romance stories can feel unbalanced to me. I like how Adichie is developing each of them as individual characters with their own struggles and growth. No matter how their relationship shakes out, I feel like I'll have empathy for both of them, which might not have been the case if either of their POVs was omitted.
As for your third bullet, I hadn't really figured out why Ifemelu decided to leave the U.S., but I think you nailed it:
>both America and England are better as a fantasy than a reality.
I am really loving this book. It's super well-written, insightful, nuanced, and with complex but sympathetic characters. It reminds me a bit of An American Marriage by Tayari Jones, if anyone else has read that. Similar themes and writing style I would say.
Obinze's chapters in London reminded me of a memoir I listened to a few years ago that I think would make a great companion read: [Asylum: A Memoir & Manifesto by Edafe Okporo](https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/33581f7e-23b5-49c8-96e4-6ec6fa1cf28f). He's a gay Nigerian immigrant in America and talks about the entire process of seeking asylum.
I was struck by Obinze's bafflement about Ojiugo's contentment. Is it really that hard to believe that Ojiugo chooses to focus wholeheartedly on raising her children instead of the other paths in life she could have taken?
I think Obinze is projecting his own regret onto her: he didn't achieve the professional life he aspired to and is miserable about it, so it's hard for him to understand how Ojiugo could be happy giving up her career aspirations to pursue a different path.
It's also probably a bit of a shock to see people who used to be wild and carefree settled into a domestic life. Obinze wasn't there for any of the transition, so maybe it feels sudden or inauthentic to him.
They raise their kids with much more attention... More focus on their futures. There isn't a whole lot of information in the book on child rearing in Nigeria, but it seems that Nicholas and Ojiugo have a vision and purpose for their children while maybe in Nigeria, children could be more free to be who they are. Ifemelu mentioned that in Nigeria, she was focused more on "being" rather than Curt's "doing;" Ojiugo is also now focused more on the "doing" in England.
It seems like there aren't as many opportunities in Nigeria, just based on the lack of job prospects for educated people. I'm assuming that holds true for things like extracurriculars for kids as well. Ojiugo has really seized on all those opportunities for her kids, which is great, but I do feel like it's probably a lot of pressure on them.
It gives Ifemelu comfort and belonging, just like her student council did. Ifemelu still reckons with 'blackness' as it pertains to 'Black Americanism,' which, of course, has pretty enduring contrasts between them, which is the book's central theme.
Ifemelu’s hair represents her authentic self so when she finds a community of other black women who embrace themselves, she is hooked. It reminds her that the American dream can take a lot of different forms and not all of them have to have relaxed hair.
I really liked the parallels between Ifemelu interacting with others on the forum and her mother's experience with churches over the years. I know that there's been some research done on how with less Americans going to church, you start to see other types of communities form that serve the same type of social purpose for individuals.
Very significant. The hair problem is affecting her self-esteem; finding this community helps her come back to her authentic self. It strikes me that America, but maybe not just America, pushes a "normal look" that people feel compelled to adhere to to be successful. In America, but maybe the whole world, it is somehow closer to whatever "white" is. This struggle is especially hard on women of color.
In this place, there is a finding of a community of like-minded people, that Ifemelu desperately needs when isolated in America.
At the same time, our perceptions of beauty are molded by what we see everyday. She's hacking her brain to find beauty in herself, it's so smart!
I think most people raised in the hermitic bubble of Curt's unimaginable privilege would also have a pretty rosy perspective on things. It also explains his naivety to ifemelus issues. Curt is almost 'colourblind' in this sense because he can not comprehend in any meaningful capacity what it's like to be a person of colour or poor. At least he seems like a compassionate and self-aware guy despite this.
I agree. Curt has never faced any sort of discrimination so he can’t fathom some of the battles Ifemelu faces (like her hair). His intentions are good but he hasn’t had enough life experiences to really understand the problems immigrants face.
Yes, and I wonder if this will become the sticking point in their relationship. I think Ifemelu will ultimately want someone with more shared experience. Come to think of it, she and Obinze have had very similar struggles in their new countries, and I'm hopeful they will be able to be honest about that with each other and bond over it if they ever reconnect.
He is the epitome of "white privilege!" Carefree, master of his domain, wealthy, happy-go-lucky, etc. His character represents the thing that maybe most of the world would like to be. It was ironic to me that Ifemelu made the distinction that Curt always focused on "doing;" cause his "being" seems so positive! He obviously has done some cultural work on himself because he was surprisingly well-meaning and understanding of Ifemelu's issues.
I was honestly bummed for her afterwards. Blaine seems like a wise and kind guy. I'm team Obinze, but a lot of people are far more preferable to me than Curt (no offence--okay, a little offence). I think what was cute about the encounter is how they flirted through their shared understanding of their black identity generally, rather than national or cultural differences, which has been an enduring motif throughout the novel.
I enjoyed watching Ifemelu squirm in her desire. I liked the way Chimamanda wrote Ifemelu's struggle to stay engaged, not appear too interested, and then finding her judgements of him give way to desperation. It killed me that she called and called and called him afterwards with no return call.
She no longer wants to be complacent in her identity. She accepts that she wants to embrace her Nigerian-ness. When she was in Nigeria, it was cool to reject her roots and strive for more American habits. Now that she’s in America, she recognizes the value that part of her identity has.
It is similar to the way she decides to finally let her hair be natural: she is coming back to authenticity. She writes too about this concept of trying to assimilate in America by being what Americans expect to try to avoid judgment and prejudice from them. She watches her friends and Uju struggle with discrimination. In her writings, she acknowledges that while being an immigrant comes with its own set of prejudices, being black has them too. She finally succeeds in "tricking" the telemarketer into believing she is "American," and realizes that it only makes her feel ashamed. The effort is not worth it.
I think that the difference between her and her aunt, for instance, is that Ifemelu has a strong sense of self-identity and self-love from the start. She starts to lose it when exposed to America's complex race issues, but then catches herself and goes back to who she really is.
1. What are your thoughts on the various ways Ifemelu experiences peoples perceptions of her? Do you think is the cause for how several of these people interact with Ifemelu? What sort of mindset do you think this places Ifemelu about her situation and herself?
Grist for the mill. She uses all these interactions in a sociological way to highlight the myths of American equality and highlight how a sense of superiority makes people even more ignorant. Ifemelu's path leads back to herself, which is maybe the reason that she wants to go back to Nigeria: that is the logical ending of her path.
Obinze is eager for a fresh start outside of Nigeria. He feels like this is the fastest way to accomplish this. I feel like he is also looking for experiences that will rival Ifemelu’s in America to make himself feel better.
I want him to succeed because he deserves a chance at his dreams. I am not happy that he has to make uncomfortable bargains to do so including getting to England on a fraudulent visa. He doesn't seem happy about it either.
I loved the line about how outrageous it was for Kelsey to suggest that she read books objectively while others read them emotionally. I mean, I don't know that Kelsey got that, but I would hope the reader does.
She was sooo cringey! It's interesting to read about Ifemelu's experience with Kelsey before Curt. Curt is way more aware; Kelsey is oblivious, well-meaning, but ignorant. Ifemelu has a great way of challenging white ignorance whether with Kimberly, Laura, or Kelsey. It's fun to read her perspective in contrast to these ignorant white people.
7. Do you think Ifemelu's change of hair? What does it symbolize?
It symbolizes America's need for an expression of "whiteness."
I was surprised that no one at work made much of a stink about Ifemelu's Afro. There were a few confused comments, but no outright discrimination, at least so far. I wouldn't be surprised if straightening her hair gave Ifemelu an advantage in interviews, which sucks. But I'm glad she was able to go back to a natural style without too much fuss (after the horrible physical injuries, that is).
I have the most curly hair on the side of not afro and this part was so good. The importance of hair for a woman's self image. The pain when you put damaging chemical in your hair that smell like poison. The work to learn to love yourself as you are. It was beautiful.
It broke my heart when she hated her hair after her big chop. I frequent /r/curlyhair and you'll sometimes see people come in there in despair over their natural curls and hating themselves. But to see her find her community online and embrace her natural hair . . . it felt empowering and that she was settling into her own skin, finding who she wanted to be on her own terms.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/curlyhair using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [I finally found a hair dresser who knew what to do with my hair.](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/17xh5i3) | [315 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/17xh5i3/i_finally_found_a_hair_dresser_who_knew_what_to/) \#2: [Why does my dog have such amazing curly hair? It’s not fair.](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/17bcxzo) | [623 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/17bcxzo/why_does_my_dog_have_such_amazing_curly_hair_its/) \#3: [I didn’t even know my hair curled until growing out during lockdown in 2020. Never going back](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/12x1pvi) | [269 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/curlyhair/comments/12x1pvi/i_didnt_even_know_my_hair_curled_until_growing/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
12. Why do you think Obinze's mother was deceitful about putting him on her visa as a research assistant?
I think she was just done - not angry, but just resigned. She knew Obinze had always planned to go to the US, but now he seemingly can't, through no fault of his own. And it's not like Obinze just twiddled his thumbs in response - he tried his best to find a job but couldn't get hired. I can understand his mother thinking that maybe getting him to the UK might be the break Obinze needed, the small change that lead to the good fortune he'd need to achieve his goals. That's not to say Obinze wouldn't need to work hard to achieve his goals - but a lot of times there's also an element of chance for things lining up at the right time. I think his mother hoped this would be the beginning of a change that led to greater happiness for him.
Obinze was surprised by his mom's willingness to break her principals and values to help him. Doing things by the book "had become a luxury they could no longer afford." It is a reflection of the hopelessness of finding employment and making money in current Nigeria.
I think her choice was probably necessary for Obinze to get his start in life, but it also made him view his mother differently and I wonder whether their relationship will recover.
I really liked the quote >It went against everything she had taught him, yet he knew that truth had indeed, in their circumstance, become a luxury.
10. Aunty Uju and Bartholomew's relationship deteriorates. What are the leading causes of this development?
Bartholomew is just as problematic as the General was but he cannot offer Aunty Uju any kind of financial security. He expects her to do all the work around the house, but does not let her make crucial decisions for their family, especially Dike. Their relationship fails because he tries to get in between her and ability to mother.
I would go so far as to say that Bartholomew is more problematic than the General. The General reveled in “treating” Aunty Uju, which while problematic, is ultimately not as harmful. She was still able to pursue her interests without financial worries, and he suggests before he dies that he would be present for Dike. Their relationship was transactional, but mutually beneficial, even if he let her down. Bartholomew is just so dismissive of her and Dike. He is fully using her and giving nothing in return.
Agreed. Bartholomew was also a transactional relationship to start. He didn't live up to his side of the bargain ultimately.
The toothpaste was the last straw. She realized that his slovenly nature wasn't changing. He brought nothing to the table.
Aunty Uju married Bartholomew out of desperation rather than any actual affinity for him. It was a marriage of convenience for both of them: she needed stability while she was still getting settled in the U.S. Then once she started making more money, Bartholomew decided he was entitled to it. Something that transactional is bound to fall apart.
He wanted all the money she worked so hard for! It seemed like Bartholomew wanted Uju more for her money, cooking, and probably cleaning than he actually cared for her. It was a relationship of convenience for both (I don't think Unu ever loved him), but Bartholomew took that convenience too far.
5. Aunty Uju and Dike both express some of the struggles of being black in America. How do these moments described tie to the blog post "Understanding America for the Non-American Black: American Tribalism"?
The struggle is real! Being African in America still means being black in America. Ifemelu notices in her essays that the American African wants to be above the African-American class, and that it just makes life harder, because people including non-white people will still see your blackness.
One thing that stuck out to me was Ifemelu's point about people in African and Caribbean countries not thinking of themselves as black. I was surprised at first but it makes sense: black people are the majority in those countries, so they probably just think of themselves as people, us, Nigerians, etc. Being black only becomes important or different when you're somewhere with some other racial majority. And when that somewhere is the U.S. with its incredibly fraught racial situation, you're in for a complicated time to say the least.
2. What do you think Aunt Uju's threats to send Dike to Nigeria will effect him?
Dike likely doesn’t have any conscious memories of Nigeria, and Ifemelu worries that Igbo is becoming the language of fear for him, since Aunty Uju only uses it when angry. Nigeria could become a place of fear for Dike.
It is ineffective parenting. Uju is frustrated and hopes that these empty threats will make Dike listen.
This is something I've seen in real life, both only as threats and carried out. It's just awful for the child, it feeds the feeling that part of them is wrong. And when they go back to visit, it produces very complicated feelings of both superiority and inferiority, amplifying the gap between the immigrants and the people there.
14. Any other comments or questions regarding this section? Any theories or speculation for the story going forward?
We know Curt and Ifemelu don't work out, but given what we know so far and the social miasma he's from.... I fear it will only be all shades of bad to terrible.
Oh yeah, there’s something unsettling about their relationship.
* There is this quote: "took \[him\] back to a time when he still believed the universe would bend according to his will." I thought this could be either Curt or Obinze. Maybe Ifemelu does have a type! * I like the author's choice to go back and forth between the narration of Obinze and Ifemelu, and that their relationship is an underlying theme rather than in your face. Like we read about Obinze's struggle in London and get only a small glimpse into his longing for Ifemelu. I like the author's choice in making their love subtle even though we are all on the edge about their future. * I wonder if Obinze will also come to the same conclusion as Ifemelu: that both America and England are better as a fantasy than a reality. He does go back to Nigeria so it's a good chance.
Good point about the alternating narration, I'm also enjoying that aspect. Without this approach, romance stories can feel unbalanced to me. I like how Adichie is developing each of them as individual characters with their own struggles and growth. No matter how their relationship shakes out, I feel like I'll have empathy for both of them, which might not have been the case if either of their POVs was omitted. As for your third bullet, I hadn't really figured out why Ifemelu decided to leave the U.S., but I think you nailed it: >both America and England are better as a fantasy than a reality.
I am really loving this book. It's super well-written, insightful, nuanced, and with complex but sympathetic characters. It reminds me a bit of An American Marriage by Tayari Jones, if anyone else has read that. Similar themes and writing style I would say.
Obinze's chapters in London reminded me of a memoir I listened to a few years ago that I think would make a great companion read: [Asylum: A Memoir & Manifesto by Edafe Okporo](https://app.thestorygraph.com/books/33581f7e-23b5-49c8-96e4-6ec6fa1cf28f). He's a gay Nigerian immigrant in America and talks about the entire process of seeking asylum.
13. Nicholas and Ojiugo's raising of their children? How does their raising of their children compare to their own childhoods?
I was struck by Obinze's bafflement about Ojiugo's contentment. Is it really that hard to believe that Ojiugo chooses to focus wholeheartedly on raising her children instead of the other paths in life she could have taken?
I think Obinze is projecting his own regret onto her: he didn't achieve the professional life he aspired to and is miserable about it, so it's hard for him to understand how Ojiugo could be happy giving up her career aspirations to pursue a different path. It's also probably a bit of a shock to see people who used to be wild and carefree settled into a domestic life. Obinze wasn't there for any of the transition, so maybe it feels sudden or inauthentic to him.
They raise their kids with much more attention... More focus on their futures. There isn't a whole lot of information in the book on child rearing in Nigeria, but it seems that Nicholas and Ojiugo have a vision and purpose for their children while maybe in Nigeria, children could be more free to be who they are. Ifemelu mentioned that in Nigeria, she was focused more on "being" rather than Curt's "doing;" Ojiugo is also now focused more on the "doing" in England.
It seems like there aren't as many opportunities in Nigeria, just based on the lack of job prospects for educated people. I'm assuming that holds true for things like extracurriculars for kids as well. Ojiugo has really seized on all those opportunities for her kids, which is great, but I do feel like it's probably a lot of pressure on them.
9. How significant is Ifemelu finding a community within the natural hair website? What does this teach Ifemelu?
It gives Ifemelu comfort and belonging, just like her student council did. Ifemelu still reckons with 'blackness' as it pertains to 'Black Americanism,' which, of course, has pretty enduring contrasts between them, which is the book's central theme.
Ifemelu’s hair represents her authentic self so when she finds a community of other black women who embrace themselves, she is hooked. It reminds her that the American dream can take a lot of different forms and not all of them have to have relaxed hair.
I really liked the parallels between Ifemelu interacting with others on the forum and her mother's experience with churches over the years. I know that there's been some research done on how with less Americans going to church, you start to see other types of communities form that serve the same type of social purpose for individuals.
Very significant. The hair problem is affecting her self-esteem; finding this community helps her come back to her authentic self. It strikes me that America, but maybe not just America, pushes a "normal look" that people feel compelled to adhere to to be successful. In America, but maybe the whole world, it is somehow closer to whatever "white" is. This struggle is especially hard on women of color.
In this place, there is a finding of a community of like-minded people, that Ifemelu desperately needs when isolated in America. At the same time, our perceptions of beauty are molded by what we see everyday. She's hacking her brain to find beauty in herself, it's so smart!
8. Curt is is very optimistic and upbeat. What elements about his character tell us about his outlook on life and his perspective of the world?
I think most people raised in the hermitic bubble of Curt's unimaginable privilege would also have a pretty rosy perspective on things. It also explains his naivety to ifemelus issues. Curt is almost 'colourblind' in this sense because he can not comprehend in any meaningful capacity what it's like to be a person of colour or poor. At least he seems like a compassionate and self-aware guy despite this.
I agree. Curt has never faced any sort of discrimination so he can’t fathom some of the battles Ifemelu faces (like her hair). His intentions are good but he hasn’t had enough life experiences to really understand the problems immigrants face.
Yes, and I wonder if this will become the sticking point in their relationship. I think Ifemelu will ultimately want someone with more shared experience. Come to think of it, she and Obinze have had very similar struggles in their new countries, and I'm hopeful they will be able to be honest about that with each other and bond over it if they ever reconnect.
He is the epitome of "white privilege!" Carefree, master of his domain, wealthy, happy-go-lucky, etc. His character represents the thing that maybe most of the world would like to be. It was ironic to me that Ifemelu made the distinction that Curt always focused on "doing;" cause his "being" seems so positive! He obviously has done some cultural work on himself because he was surprisingly well-meaning and understanding of Ifemelu's issues.
4. What did you think of Ifemelu's and Blaine's first meeting?
I was honestly bummed for her afterwards. Blaine seems like a wise and kind guy. I'm team Obinze, but a lot of people are far more preferable to me than Curt (no offence--okay, a little offence). I think what was cute about the encounter is how they flirted through their shared understanding of their black identity generally, rather than national or cultural differences, which has been an enduring motif throughout the novel.
well said.
I enjoyed watching Ifemelu squirm in her desire. I liked the way Chimamanda wrote Ifemelu's struggle to stay engaged, not appear too interested, and then finding her judgements of him give way to desperation. It killed me that she called and called and called him afterwards with no return call.
I was a little surprised at the sexual tension! I'm like, girl you just met this guy, cool off!
3. What is the significance of Ifemelu dropping her American accent?
She no longer wants to be complacent in her identity. She accepts that she wants to embrace her Nigerian-ness. When she was in Nigeria, it was cool to reject her roots and strive for more American habits. Now that she’s in America, she recognizes the value that part of her identity has.
It is similar to the way she decides to finally let her hair be natural: she is coming back to authenticity. She writes too about this concept of trying to assimilate in America by being what Americans expect to try to avoid judgment and prejudice from them. She watches her friends and Uju struggle with discrimination. In her writings, she acknowledges that while being an immigrant comes with its own set of prejudices, being black has them too. She finally succeeds in "tricking" the telemarketer into believing she is "American," and realizes that it only makes her feel ashamed. The effort is not worth it.
Right, she's going to encounter prejudice in the U.S. no matter what, so she might as well not waste the effort of trying to be someone she's not.
I think that the difference between her and her aunt, for instance, is that Ifemelu has a strong sense of self-identity and self-love from the start. She starts to lose it when exposed to America's complex race issues, but then catches herself and goes back to who she really is.
1. What are your thoughts on the various ways Ifemelu experiences peoples perceptions of her? Do you think is the cause for how several of these people interact with Ifemelu? What sort of mindset do you think this places Ifemelu about her situation and herself?
Grist for the mill. She uses all these interactions in a sociological way to highlight the myths of American equality and highlight how a sense of superiority makes people even more ignorant. Ifemelu's path leads back to herself, which is maybe the reason that she wants to go back to Nigeria: that is the logical ending of her path.
Well said! Though I'm worried she will have a hard time fitting back into her community in Nigeria after so long in the U.S.
11. What is your thoughts of Obinze becoming an illegal immigrant and his attempts to get himself into a green card marriage?
Obinze is eager for a fresh start outside of Nigeria. He feels like this is the fastest way to accomplish this. I feel like he is also looking for experiences that will rival Ifemelu’s in America to make himself feel better.
I want him to succeed because he deserves a chance at his dreams. I am not happy that he has to make uncomfortable bargains to do so including getting to England on a fraudulent visa. He doesn't seem happy about it either.
6. Lets talk about Ifemelu's interaction with Kelsey. What are some of the takeaways from their meeting and discussions?
I loved the line about how outrageous it was for Kelsey to suggest that she read books objectively while others read them emotionally. I mean, I don't know that Kelsey got that, but I would hope the reader does.
Kelsey is a tourist.
She was sooo cringey! It's interesting to read about Ifemelu's experience with Kelsey before Curt. Curt is way more aware; Kelsey is oblivious, well-meaning, but ignorant. Ifemelu has a great way of challenging white ignorance whether with Kimberly, Laura, or Kelsey. It's fun to read her perspective in contrast to these ignorant white people.