2 Boyle moments that always get me:
When he puts on the sun hat and goes, "Mafia!"
Pretty much anytime he's overconfident compared to Terry, but my favorite is when he puts on Terry's sweater:
"Hm, fits really well. We have similar physiques." As the sweater swallows him
“I’m glad you’re sticking around Boyle! I’m gonna be depending on you a lot!” “Yeah! For diet and exercise tips!” “What? I’m ripped as hell!” “Nice, that’s a very healthy attitude!”
My husband hasn't seen the whole show yet. One time when he's playing with our daughter, I warned him to be gentle or he'll receive a strawberry basket. He asked me what that is and I showed him what strawberry basket is 😨
YOU'RE GONNA CALL THE COPS I AM THE COPS
GO BACK TO YOURE TRUCK AND COOK SOME GARBAGE PUDDING
KILL YOURSELF TROY
I don't know why I quote that on a daily basis.
According to Google there are 170,000 words in the English language. How does Charles always manage to choose the very worst possible combination of words, when he has so many to choose from?
These two lines of his from the pilot episode were what got me hooked on the show. I just loved his delivery.
"I'll do it. I'll find a better movie than Citizen Kane."
and
"Ratko! That's a waste of manchego!"
The other line from the pilot that I love is when Terry is introducing the squad and Boyle says "ow my head! And I stepped on my muffin and my head on my muffin" just stuttering while he stands on his muffin and rubs his head. I agree w you, Boyle in the pilot is definitely what had me hooked on the show
"WHO"S CHARLES?? I'M TOMMY GOBBLER AND I'M **STUFFED** WITH THANKSGIVING HAPPINESS!!"
"Okay 'Tommy Gobbler', these are the Davidsons; They want to know what happened to their missing grandmother."
"I have some deeply tragic news for you"
My favourite line of the whole show is when Boyle says something like ‘boyles never know their full potential, my cousin Susan didn’t realise she could sing until she was 40’
When choosing cool call signs in the “chopper”.
Jake: “No characters from Cats. Come on, dig deep, think of something scary”
Charles: “Hitler”
I don’t know why but I literally laugh just thinking about this interaction
1) And sir, it would be my honor to be your big daddy
2) I would do anything to perk up my little man
3) So he's kind of our grand captain
4) Charles (*put hands over Holt's eyes from behind*): Guess who?
Holt (*immediately draws his pistol*): FREEZE NYPD PUNK!
Charles: *girlish screams*
‘He was going to town on one of my snow boots… and his little heart just gave out… he didn’t even finish!’
🎶*tell me how am I supposed to live without you, now that I’ve been loving you so loooooong*🎶
Season 3, Episode 11
Jake: But wait, Charles, I thought you were sterile.
I distinctly remember you using the phrase--
Charles: Shooting dust.
Jake: Yes, thank you for not making me say that.
Charles: Thankfully, my ex-wife, Eleanor, made me get a vasectomy a year before that. As a precaution, I froze some sperm-- a lot of sperm. Guy going in after me was like: "Whoa, nice!"
Jake: Wow, he sounds lika a gross dude.
Jake: Alright, Charles, I know that you're freaking out and you think you're never gonna be a father, but don't worry; There's no way I'm gonna let Eleanor do anything to your precious...
Boyle: Boyle oil?
Jake: Alright, I'm out. She can do what she wants.
“Nikolaj is a picky eater!”
No he’s not, he just doesn’t want to eat pickled bat wings or goat eyeballs.
Stop trying to feed your child exotic garbage, Charles
One of my favorites is when Amy wants to give Holt a Christmas card with a picture of all of them, but he has a flight to catch and says:
"I have to go, too. My flight’s in... Oh boy. Eight hours. I can make it, I’ll just buy a sandwich on the plane."
I don't want to hang out with a stupid baby that never met jake
Nikolaj
N*i*kolaj.
Nikolaj
Nikolaj
Nikolaj
Not even close!
I think I am saying it.
"The only blackmail I want anything to do with is you" to Captain Holt.
That was _incredibly_ inappropriate.
I know but I just had to say it
Poor Terry
DO I LOOK LIKE JAKE TO YOU?! DO I LOOK LIKE JAKE TO YOU?! THEN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO **SCREW ME**?!!!
Don’t mess with Boyle’s inner beast. Edit: don’t mess with Chef Boyle’s inner beast.
It's *Chef*.
I am not calling you that.
Or squash Boule’s inner beast
What does Marcelus Wallace look like?
2 Boyle moments that always get me: When he puts on the sun hat and goes, "Mafia!" Pretty much anytime he's overconfident compared to Terry, but my favorite is when he puts on Terry's sweater: "Hm, fits really well. We have similar physiques." As the sweater swallows him
Yessss I love how he says it 😂 Mafia 🤌
Joe Lo is a comic genius. His string of movie appearances from like '07-'10 was incredible. Superbad. Pineapple Express. Role Models. I Love You, Man.
He is absolutely hilarious is Role Models.
RUB A DUB DUB!
Don't forget his small short role on Community as Jeff's lawyer buddy. Awesome guy.
I like to think his cameo in Pitch Perfect is just Detective Boyle on a day off
“Boyle I don’t think we’re maxing out the same weight at the gym” “Oh Terry, they’re just numbers. You’ll get there”
“I’m glad you’re sticking around Boyle! I’m gonna be depending on you a lot!” “Yeah! For diet and exercise tips!” “What? I’m ripped as hell!” “Nice, that’s a very healthy attitude!”
But then there's the scene where he throws an apple at Terry and the latter drops to the floor. Not so confident now, huh?
Will he was MVP at his little league games
I am Going to show you NANA Boyle's Boxing technique
STRAWBERRY BASKET!
Oh come here little man
Yeah ring the bell, I'm gonna pop the little guy's head off! You're clearly the little guy!
Haha! Good one, Jake!
Ding ding STRAWBERRY BASKET. Yeah you mess with grandma you're gonna get the basket.
My husband hasn't seen the whole show yet. One time when he's playing with our daughter, I warned him to be gentle or he'll receive a strawberry basket. He asked me what that is and I showed him what strawberry basket is 😨
Bubble weight champion 🏆
I don't know Jake. I'm afraid I'm gonna think about it every time I look at your crotch.
Then don't look at my crotch
LIKE YEAST!!! (he's the cutest cinnamon roll)
This is probably my most favorite opening, he's so excited to explain the joke to Jake! 😂
Eyes up here Gina, I'm more than just a piece of ass!
I can't believe I was briefly attracted to boyle! Euw!!
“KILL YOURSELF TROY”
It’s so out of character for him I love it
YOU'RE GONNA CALL THE COPS I AM THE COPS GO BACK TO YOURE TRUCK AND COOK SOME GARBAGE PUDDING KILL YOURSELF TROY I don't know why I quote that on a daily basis.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHH
100% this because it's the biggest I've been caught off guard in the show
Yippie kayak, other buckets!
Gets me everytime
It's Nikolaj(reads in his voice)
_Nikolaj_
No, it's Nikolaj
No, _Nikolaj_
It’s ok, you say it wrong
Ill just call him niko
"Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew signal" "There's more where that came from, I've got a real wet mouth."
How are you going to bring that up naturally
Gotta admit it’s a pretty tough line
It’s like an Eagles concert down there. Nothing but whites
this is my favorite line!
“My dreams are coming true! You and me, getting a lady off together.”
I Told You Jake, I'll Do Anything to Perk Up My Little Man
You've got to know how that sounds in your underwear.
GoBbLe GoBbLe GoBbLe
Y'all got sundaes (it gets me every time!)
We’ll take those sundaes to-go. And I don’t care you don’t have lids. Y’all make a lid.
His deliveries make the funny!
Sir, you've just said "hole" way too much.
And that's coming from Charles!
Yes, that’s disturbing
I think he says ‘Yes that’s concerning’
I think you’re right, Holt wouldn’t say disturbing
"And an Earl Grey Tea for me, Twink Tucker!"
Nah, you ruined it!
Boyle - Next time I see you, I’ll be all out of orgasms! Jake - YOU CAN’T SAY THAT WHILE YOU’RE HUGGING ANOTHER PERSON
"Sexy train is leaving the station! Check out this caboose! Later, sluts."
I was looking for this!
"Jake and Amy are getting married tonight! Title of MY sex tape!"
According to Google there are 170,000 words in the English language. How does Charles always manage to choose the very worst possible combination of words, when he has so many to choose from?
Genuinely thought there would be at least 200,000 English words that’s crazy
Quite frankly, so did I.
This is my favourite
“It might not be today, it might not be tomorrow… it definitely won’t be later than tomorrow. So pretty much today or tomorrow”.
"OW my buttholes!'"
Love those quotes
“How many girls have you made out with in that car? SIX?” his delivery and the camera’s zoom-in makes me laugh every time
“it’s a little late where have you been?” “Cursing my shadow for hanging out with a loser like me”
Also an eye doctor appointment
🤌🏻😒🤌🏻 *Mafia*
"Oh, it's just my former lover. Hello, sister."
Looks like you and I are in a good old fashioned suck off
Don't call it that Why why shouldn't I call it it that oh yeah I shouldn't
Your kids need help wiping their butts, Sarge. They're not exactly geniuses.
A kiss for my boo and a kiss for my sis. Oh it's just my former lover, hello sister.
Ugh I hate when you say those things back to back
From brother to sister, you've never looked sexier.
STD- save the date, what else does it mean
LIKE YEAST !!!
These two lines of his from the pilot episode were what got me hooked on the show. I just loved his delivery. "I'll do it. I'll find a better movie than Citizen Kane." and "Ratko! That's a waste of manchego!"
The other line from the pilot that I love is when Terry is introducing the squad and Boyle says "ow my head! And I stepped on my muffin and my head on my muffin" just stuttering while he stands on his muffin and rubs his head. I agree w you, Boyle in the pilot is definitely what had me hooked on the show
Oh I love that too! He was so funny and endearing from the very first episode.
"WHO"S CHARLES?? I'M TOMMY GOBBLER AND I'M **STUFFED** WITH THANKSGIVING HAPPINESS!!" "Okay 'Tommy Gobbler', these are the Davidsons; They want to know what happened to their missing grandmother." "I have some deeply tragic news for you"
The instant change of emotion and pause he had between the second and third line...
If I was a unicorn I’d never be angry
Yippie Kayak, Other Buckets!
Boyle! You did it! And you completely botched the catchphrase!
“Did you kiss? Did you French?!”
UGH, you had sex! I can tell because you’re GLOWING!
🫢
THAT'S A VICTORY FOR BOYLE BOOM!!!!
BOYLE SAYS BOOM!
#YOU JUST GRADUATED PIE SCHOOL, B—— ^sorry ^i ^said ^b—— ^i’m ^just ^really ^worked ^up
‘Hey, don’t make any new best friends 😂😁… maybe you shouldn’t go.’
That part where Charles found out Jakes dad was a sperm donor… 🤣 “My kid could be your brother!”
My favourite line of the whole show is when Boyle says something like ‘boyles never know their full potential, my cousin Susan didn’t realise she could sing until she was 40’
Love this, and how there is no pause. They just keep going.
“✨ If you like pina coladas✨” “Dead guy Charles”
Him in the whole opening of that episode is great. Sexy train is leaving the station, check out this caboose! Later sluts
When he's dreaming of Jake being freed. Why did you wake me up I told you never to wake me up!
“I KNEW IT!” when Captain Holt eats a marshmallow.
"I guess that makes him our *grand* captain."
That is amazingly funny.
"Next time I see you I'm gonna be all out of orgasms!" "No! You can't say that when you're hugging someone!"
#LIKE YEAST!
Time to put some daddy inside my mommy.
Boyle : "In your face Terry !!" " I'm hearing wedding Bells " " Do I Look Like Jake ? Then why are you Screwing me "
The whole delivery of the do I look like Jake to you line, and the absolute horror on Amy’s face makes this a highlight scene.
Yippee kayak other buckets!
The only blackmail I want anything to do with is you My wife pays me alimony
Jake: Time for me to go out there and spread my wi- Charles: Legs Jake: Get out there and spread my legs? Charles: Well either way.
No, not either way! Only wings!
“What did one Estonian farmer say to the other? Our crop yields are so much smaller than that of mighty Latvia!”
Wait 'til it's raining. No, that's crazy. Go now.
Diane Weast infection
When choosing cool call signs in the “chopper”. Jake: “No characters from Cats. Come on, dig deep, think of something scary” Charles: “Hitler” I don’t know why but I literally laugh just thinking about this interaction
ill go with boyle's oil. best line of the whole show.
Aww man my muffin Ah! My head My muffin, my head and I stepped on my muffin And my head and my muffin
LIKE YEAST
Bone buddy’s.. 🙏
Bone bros*
Haha weirdly I know this is the episode with pie in the trashcan but can't remember it much
MY BUTTHOLES
ITS PANDAEMONIUM
On road trips, we put lemon juice in each other's hair and let the sun bleach. It's called giving each other road head.
🎶“Stake me out tonight. I don’t wanna let you go till we catch this guy!”🎶
The only black male I want to be a part of is you (Said to Captain Holt)
1) And sir, it would be my honor to be your big daddy 2) I would do anything to perk up my little man 3) So he's kind of our grand captain 4) Charles (*put hands over Holt's eyes from behind*): Guess who? Holt (*immediately draws his pistol*): FREEZE NYPD PUNK! Charles: *girlish screams*
‘He was going to town on one of my snow boots… and his little heart just gave out… he didn’t even finish!’ 🎶*tell me how am I supposed to live without you, now that I’ve been loving you so loooooong*🎶
Lunch…the devil’s breakfast.
BIG OLD DIANNE WIEST INFECTION- (complete silence)- LIKE YEAST-
Season 3, Episode 11 Jake: But wait, Charles, I thought you were sterile. I distinctly remember you using the phrase-- Charles: Shooting dust. Jake: Yes, thank you for not making me say that. Charles: Thankfully, my ex-wife, Eleanor, made me get a vasectomy a year before that. As a precaution, I froze some sperm-- a lot of sperm. Guy going in after me was like: "Whoa, nice!" Jake: Wow, he sounds lika a gross dude. Jake: Alright, Charles, I know that you're freaking out and you think you're never gonna be a father, but don't worry; There's no way I'm gonna let Eleanor do anything to your precious... Boyle: Boyle oil? Jake: Alright, I'm out. She can do what she wants.
*eats boiled eggs from a bag while wearing matrix trench*
Jake and Amy are getting married TONIGHT!! Title of MY sex tape!!
To Gina when she was pregnant: "You are glowing! Brother to sister, you never looked sexier."
Dianne Wiest infection
I’m gonna kick Brandon bliss right in the butthole
"These, madam, are STDs."
LIKE YEAST!!!!!
The Night Boys! No! Ok, The Dark Men!
There’s more where that came from. I gotta real wet mouth. You gotta admit, it’s a pretty tough line.
Yippie Kyack Mother Buckets
“Nikolaj”
Well, if it isn’t my former lover. Hello sister.
Anything with Boyle Oil.
No its *Nikolaj*
Jake, piece of advice: just give up. It's the Boyle way. It's why our family crest is a white flag
Yippee Kayak Other Buckets!
OW! MY BUTTHOLES!
Charles:" Owwww my butt holes!" Amy:"There has to be a better way to say that"
“We both slept with the same prostitute. She said you were the best she ever had and I should watch you to learn”
They’re in a penis punch 69!
That is one of the most hilarious moments
you butternuts ready to get squashed?????
OH A LITTLE MUCH... A LITTLE MUCH!!!!
“LIKE YE-“
Poke pals
"I drop kick my mags" Misses drop kick "Owwww my buttholes"
Two favorites that comes to mind: “I got a reeeeal wet mouth.” And “And a dry boy, is a smart boy!”
If you tell me that I ruined Jake’s wedding, I’m going to KILL MYSELF
The universe is a cruel and vexing puzzle. I'm at the whim of the cosmos.
I'll do anything to perk up my little man
Numb from the trunk to the skunk
Later sluts.
“Next time you see me, I’ll be all out of orgasms.”
Charles: I do that for all my friends Jake: show me Charles: (long pause) *there is no time*
There’s my big beautiful BM!
“Nikolaj is a picky eater!” No he’s not, he just doesn’t want to eat pickled bat wings or goat eyeballs. Stop trying to feed your child exotic garbage, Charles
“I’ll do anything to perk up my little man”
Uh oh, I hate pizza!!
One of my favorites is when Amy wants to give Holt a Christmas card with a picture of all of them, but he has a flight to catch and says: "I have to go, too. My flight’s in... Oh boy. Eight hours. I can make it, I’ll just buy a sandwich on the plane."
“*Derek.*”
STRAWBERRY BASKET. YEAH YOU MESS WITH GRANDMA YOU'RE GONNA GET THE BASKET
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^10flower53: *STRAWBERRY BASKET.* *YEAH YOU MESS WITH GRANDMA YOU'RE* *GONNA GET THE BASKET* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
It like shooting dust
Oh, it's just my former lover. Hello sister.
"Sexy train is leaving the station. Check out this caboose. Later, sluts."
LIKE YEAS-
“Ah my head, my muffin my head and I stepped on mmyyyu muffin, and my head, and my muffin”