Are we supposed to believe that this is a true story? Really?
The neighbor let some army dude move into their house with his wife and kids so she could cheat on him? Really?
No, it sounds completely plausible. Of course your neighbor would contribute to your moral decay without question and would even let children suffer. š
You give her too much power over your life, marriage and relationship. Take that power back by filling for divorce and going no contact. Seek the advice of an attorney and know that the courts will set up visitation with the children.
i was assuming he meant they moved into the neighboring house and therefore became their neighbor. they mentioned that their landlord barred him from entering the nextdoor property, which would imply that the landlord owned/rented out 2 adjacent properties. itās plausible that the ap began renting the house to mess with op.
still probably unlikely lol, but it makes more sense than the neighbor just letting them move in.
I can actually believe it, my ex wife did something similar she has narcissist personality disorder. Best thing you can do is divorce her stay as far from her and have as little contact as possible and never look back.
Sorry, brother. Hit the eject button, ASAP.
Also, a 29 yr old marrying an 18 yr old was a high-risk choice with the potential for big rewards but more likely big emotional pain. Rally to be the best father to your kids.
āDespite these events my wife has yet to seek divorceā¦ā. She cheated on you a multitude of times and had another manās baby and you canāt understand why she hasnāt sought A divorce? Do you realize you could be the plaintiff?
And he is just delaying the inevitable. Paternity test all the kids now with infidelity as a reason to question paternity before the court. Iād wager at least half the kids arenāt actually his in this bullshit scenario
It is your fault in that you have made and continue to make the the absolute worst decisions for yourself and your children. Stop trying with this person. You need a teammate, not a liability.
Son, you need to grow up.
Your āwifeā is a parasite who will never stop taking whatever she can get. File for divorce.
The other guy is not your concern. He stole your wife? Good. Let him keep her new that she has his child. You owe him thanks for showing you who your wife really is.
Your children need you to be the adult and to provide them with a stable life. No. That doesnāt mean you should live with little Mrs Wanderer.
You need to divorce, get a job, and get your life on track. Be the grown-up. Make sure your kids have food and a roof.
Cut all emotional ties to your āwifeā. You will be supporting her financially for quite a while. Iām sorry, but that is the truth. Donāt expect anything from her.
As things stand now, you donāt sound like a better choice for custody of the kids. You canāt make her choose you. You canāt realistically make the other guy go away. Stop trying. Live for yourself and your kids.
Dude time to actually take control of your life Jesus Christ! Divorce, take care of your kids, find a better job, better location, go back to school and make a better situation, figure something out!!
The world is open for you to move forward, so throw away the clutter and trash in your life and move on. I donāt know what you do for work but hell X-ray school is like 2 years and you can go anywhere in the country with it. Thereās 6,000 open travel contracts around the country that will pay $4,000 a WEEK for these kinds of medical workers. Pick a direction
You are in a way. You chose to stay with her and be her warden instead of divorcing her and taking your kids from her. You could have declared her an unfit mother the moment she committed adultery in front of your kids.
She is vile. DARVO: Deny guilt, Atrack offender, and Reverse victim and Offender. Sound familiar?
My advice. 1. Wake up. No contact other than for co-parenting of your biological children only. 2. Get an STD panel ASAP. 3. Get a lawyer and start the divorce. Get as much evidence of her infidelity as possible and bring it with you along with any other proof of her malfeasance. 4. Get a paternity test for all of "your" children and prepare yourself for a very bad result. 5. Stop engaging with her sex partners. No violence, no threats. That will factor heavily against you in a divorce and custody arrangement. 6. Do not accept mediation through a third party because they are predominantly female-focused and will recommend she get everything no matter how badly she betrayed you.
I am shocked I had to get this far to see #4. OP do this immediately.
Also, OP find and call a divorce paralegal service today. It's much cheaper than lawyers, and if she is dragging her feet and also dealing with her own obvious drama, you may get very very lucky and get a default judgement and skip a lot of the court appearances. It sounds like you have your own issues in that regard.
All of this varies greatly by state. However, the sooner you start the process and file, the more likely you get a best case outcome.
I felt bad for you until i read that she was 18 and you were 29 šboth sound immature and i hope you wake the fuck up and find someone your age. š¤”š¤”Anyway good luck
I donāt believe this storyā¦ I would love to hear the other side, because it is wild that she managed to get an order of protection on you and you admitted to threatening him. By your own admissions I believe youāre violent and toxic. I have a hard time getting past the fact youāre so much older than her and couldnāt get control over your own emotions. Youāre a grown man playing toddler games, and you chose a woman significantly younger than you for a reason. You arenāt a victim here, and based on all the responses youāve gotten your public shaming of her hasnāt worked out for you lol.
Any female in the USA that seeks a Protection Order gets it regardless of is veracity. When you go in front of a judge you need to prove what you alleged.
That is when shit get real. When they donāt show up it tells you volumes
You lost your job, car and appt? You got TRO's against yourself? Why didn't you get cys on to her? Why are you still obsessed with her owning up to anything. Her actions speak louder than words.
Don't tell me you lost all that you have because you wanted to hear the words?
All your fault? No. Most of your fault. No, bot true either. Some of your fault?? Absolutely. You married a barely adult and when the inevitable happened, you went crazy too instead of simply focusing on your kids and fighting harder for them. So yes you share blame on not prioritizing your children better from this toxic cesspool of behavior.
Divorce? What the fuck does it matter. Iām in no hurry to do anything. Fuck relationships and I have nothing for her to take from me. Itās all gone
You both suck. Donāt date teenagers and impregnate them, and then act shocked that theyāre deeply immature. Her development stopped at 18. Cheating is vile and horrible for all the regular reasons, so sheās fucking awful obviously. If she was unhappy she should have just divorced you.
What a mess she created and you allowed to happen...
Grey rock from the start would have changed things so much for the better, you ruined yourself, tbh...
Because you're her legal husband you are automatically presumed to be the father of any children she has given birth to. Unless the bio father legally acknowledges paternity within the time period allowed. And she doesn't have a job so you'll be expected to pay alimony. So unless you also want to pay child support for her kids with the army guy I suggest you file for divorce as soon as possible.
You have made so many mistakes in this that itās going to be a very rough divorce for you. The first time you caught her you should have filed for divorce to make it clear to her you were serious.
Now with the protective orders the chances of you getting my custody are much lower meaning she will get to continue whatever she wants in front of the kids.
There is no pfa. Currently just bail stipulations of no contact with her or her whatever he is. Seeing my kids and them healing from this is the only thing that matters
Op, I donāt mean to be offensive, but is there documentation that you have learning problems? Iām f so, find someone who will help you contact Legal Aid or some other nonprofit that might work on your behalf without charging a fee. If your wife is aware of your disability (if you have one) it probably would make her look good to a presiding judge.
Updateme!
I have to say this is all your fault, you let her walk over you and place you in this situation. You chose to play āpick meā with your own wife. You should have respected yourself more and left in the proper way when you first found out. However, you are still married to this lady and she has a kid by another man. I mean how low can you go! I feel sorry for the kids because they have to watch you take this type of treatment and not want better for yourself. While youāre at your parents house I hope you think long and hard about your role in this situation. I hope you get out of it for the better, but when rock down the only place to go is up.
Honestly it is your fault. All of these paragraphs of toxic behavior all because YOU did not immediately leave when you KNEW she was corresponding with other men. Blame yourself - people only treat you how you allow them to.
I simply can't believe you went back to that. You're a glutton for punishment. How much contempt and disrespect for you and your children does she have to show before you stop being a doormat?
I will never understand why people stay after getting cheated on. Thatās probably the most disrespectful thing they can do. I donāt care if I got kids or married. If she cheats on me sheās gone. Of course Iāll be there for the kids but Iām not taking her back
My brother, Iām sorry you and your children have to suffer the misery and consequences your wife has brought into your lives. I see nothing wrong with any of your actions. Iām only sorry you werenāt able to give your wifeās AP a good beat down, if not only to help someone elseās marriage from being destroyed. I donāt understand your wifeās current actions. Itās almost as if sheās thinking sheās going to be back together with you at some point. Maybe itās in your best interest to cut her off completely and only deal with her as a little as possible and with as few words as possible. Then, I think the reality of her situation will sink in. All your legal problems will eventually work their way through. I hope youāre find a new wife and stable, loving household for your children to share.Godspeed my friend.
Not everything is due to mental illness. Mental illness is not an excuse for a lack of self worth and a spine. You choose to be miserable every time you allow her in. Buck up and move on and stop letting her think she's all that because she cheated and is still banging the ex to boot.
Let this story be a lesson for everyone anticipating "staying for the children". All that happens is that you end up not losing them anyway, but everything else as well.
Lmao why did you go back after all
That? Man find your spine, your kids are watching you be weak. You donāt want them learning to be weak in their relationships too. Your wife is trash
Exactly. You arenāt the one who destroyed your family, the home your kids live in, nor did you get your wife arrested for your own mistakes. Sheās the problem here, not you.
Youāre literally fighting for someone who doesnāt give two shits about you. At this point your simpish behavior should be considered self-harm and you should seek professional help, psychiatric and legal. It almost seems like you want the drama and heartbreak. Itās hard to feel sorry for someone who is intentionally putting themselves in harms way.
Ehh the only thing I can think of is this is your fault. Also stupid for a 29 year old to go after a 18 year old whoās never worked or anything. Iām 29 right now and there is no way I could go after a 18 year even if it ālooks like true loveā. She just probably found an easy way through life through you and knew you would pay for everything and it shows since she still hasnāt tried to get a job or anything. Itās your fault for letting her play you like the fool you are. Stop trying to blame things on a āmental illness ā and take accountability or go to therapy and divorce her ass.
Why are you even touching this woman after another dude was inside her. Man the fuck up and ditch that bitch. File for a divorce and settle for something that's good for the kids.
No deffo not all your fault.
But you did fuck up when you ignored her flirting with other men. And then you took her back after she cheated and had you removed from the house and carried on with the affair in the same house, and bed.... Don't ever be that soft in your next relationship, hold your head up. All the best mate.
Not going to be long but I'm going to drop some shit this situation didn't happen to you it happened for you that's one next up this is from my heart to you soldier chin up chest out my friend you've got this... And lastly ride the wave play the play for this too shall pass.
Take this one to the bank you can't sneeze with your eyes open ā¼ļø
Why didnāt you just save yourself the headache and file yourself? This is on both of you at this point. She may never confess her role, and youāre gonna have to be ok with that bc either way you know the truth. Her shaking responsibility is only going to hurt her so why does it matter? File and move on with NC once finalized unless it directly involves your kids.
Yes, this is your fault for letting it happen. Your opportunity to take action was a long time ago buddy. You should have filed for divorce and custody of your kids as soon as it happened. Look at you now! Thatās what cheaters do, she was going to look for an excuse to put you in jail and you walked right into it. You let this fester too long and this is the result. Youāre facing a court order, lost the house, lost your job, people think youāre crazy, and cps is about to take your kids to a hell hole. Yes, you have responsibility to play in this for being a door mat.š¤¦š»āāļø
Your wife is a slut. Get a divorce. Make sure you don't be responsible for her child with the other man. To be safe, get paternity tests on all your children to see if they are yours.
File for divorce. If youāre in the U.S I hope u live in a at fault state, then u can drag her ass. If not get as much evidence as possible because the more proof the safer youāll be. Good luck, I hope u destroy her and make her regret ever crossing you.
Just divorce and be done with this mess. If you are able get all the evidence you can about her cheating on you. The lawyers will say the same. Go to as many as you can so that she will be limited in who she can choose then file for divorce. She clearly doesn't give a damn. Let others know, control the narrative as best you can by letting others know what is going on. Show the evidence. Your family, hers, all friends so that you will not be seen as the one at fault. Then anyone that takes her side, block them. Do this with her as well. You may take a hit, but you will recover.
I canāt believe that you were still having sex with her when you knew she was sexing some other dude. Youāre a father of 4, and you are homeless with no job. And yet your primary focus is whoās the bigger fuck up in this fucked up situation? You shouldnāt have married a child to begin with, but since you did, you have to deal with all of the kids you guys made and support them. Stop pointing fingers, and handle your shit. Your ex is a POS, yes, but you arenāt exactly a prize now, either.
So you got together with a bimbo 10 years younger than you and you're surprised she's a bimbo?
Divorce and try to get the kids if you can. Otherwise they will learn to be just like her.
The first thing you need is respect for yourself. Respect for your values, your loyalty and dedication to give your ex-wife and kids a good life. Your ex-wife just flushed that down the toilet. Either because she does not care about the consequences, as she sees you as the simp that won;t stand up for himself, or for other similar reasons.
Does not really matter at this stage. if you want to stay true to whom you are then dump the 304 and move on. Do not let your kids see you as a wimp or simp. Show them what an honorable and dedicated man does when the chips are down. Life does not give us a choice what happens, but it is up to us - and us alone - how we respond to what is thrown at us.
Lastly - they always come back. But you would do well to remember the old adage "She was never yours - it was just your turn".
PS: And if you don't do what is expected of someone like you under these circumstances, then you deserve everything that is coming your way.
Sorry, but you need to file divorce and get paternity tests for all the kids. If any are not yours file charges against her for fraud. Then ask the lawyer if it's possible in your state to sue the AP for alienation of affection. If you really want to screw her world you can legally go before a judge and renounce your parental rights. Then she'll be on her own.
By getting the tests and doing it in front of her, you send a clear message to her that you no longer trust her at all. Your lawyer will likely want the testing done for the divorce anyway. And doing it in the open is basically a slap in the face to her.
Hire a lawyer and start the divorce based on adultry and only speak to her about your children if she tryās talking to you about anything else just hang up and the better option would be a coparenting app as this could help you in court in the long run as nothing can be deleted. Once she realizes you want nothing todo with her it will help wake her up and odds are this new guy is going to start resenting her because he has been discharged from the service and now he will have to help raise 5 kids when he is only the father of 1.
Odds are this will not end well for her so try and get divorced before the affair fog ends.
Youāve gotta get out. Stop allowing her back into your life and fucking her. She sounds like a terrible person. Just focus on yourself and be the best father you can be. Good luck.
Your mistake is allowing her to do all this and you not doing anything to protect yourself and your children. When she began cheating divorce shouldāve been on the table until she corrected herself and never repeated her behavior. When she left with three kids you shouldāve pounced, instead of fvcking with her, and taken her to court to protect your children.
You continue to support the demise of your family and put your kids in harms way by not doing anything to address the issue. Talk to a lawyer immediately and stop engaging her. If you continue on your path youāll lose your kids, harm them, put yourself in a difficult financial position for the foreseeable future, and be blamed.
What is stopping you from doing anything about this issue?
She canāt waste time energy and resources. I wonāt do anything that will help her with anything except making sure my kids have their needs met. I could give a rats ass about filing anything. Iāll let the court send me papers that tell me Iām divorced. There is nothing left she can take from me
You are to blame for still going after a person like this ex-wife of yours and this man. For God's sake, man. Go to the divorce, if you have evidence against her, use them. Stop looking for her and if she comes to you get a restraining order. He was supposed to do this as soon as he discovered the betrayal
Your wife was never worth any of this. Your marriage and family were over a long time ago. You were very foolish to drag this on.
Maybe this is fake, idk, but your poor judgment is off the charts. North England?
Subscribeme
This can't be true why would you put up with a wife like this. Just divorce her for infidelity, she had a kid with another man you have proof.
Find a decent woman because shes definitely not one.
You needed to grow a spine when you discovered she cheated on you. You should have immediately filed for divorce and sought full custody of the kids allowing her to be a full time fuck toy for her young stud so he could deal with her nonsense. The fact that you kept fucking her even after you knew she was screwing other guys is incredible. Itās 100% fine that you were upset, but to blow your lid to the point you got arrested is ridiculous. As the adult in the room you should have taken a deep breath, got an attorney, filed for divorce, sought therapy, and got custody of the kids. You allowed yourself to be gaslit the point that she ruined your life. So yes a big piece of it is your fault.
The soldier will get all he can out of her & then tell her to go back to you. So, you need to divorce her as you record every communication with her. She will use the police to ruin you.
Iām sorry youāre going through this Jerry springer shit. Your wife is a pig. Or hog. Whichever word you think fits best. Sounds so trashy. Iām sorry for you and the kids. Just file for divorce. Although thatās probably gonna run you 2 grand you donāt have either.
You have to seek counsel first. Other wise sheās going to have one up on you and will take your kids and any income you have.
You need to file for divorce. You need to have your divorce attorney file for a paternity test. You need to tag this point file a suit to have him pay for the paternity test. Then after, the child is born ensure your name is not on the birth certificate. If it is, you need to file to have it removed or you will be on the hook for child support. If you are you sue him for the costs of having it removed. Stop engaging him except through an attorney.
Well, itās a cheating āstoryā!
Last story I read was Daniel Tiger going to a human library - yet, I believe it more than PhazeCrazyās poor effort!
They gave him opportunity to cut it off they demoted him and gave him extra duty even took his pay. But he showed up on his leaves like he was instructed not to do and he kept making fake profiles and accounts to contact her and they ended up finding out he was disobeying orders
You file for divorce. Why are waiting on her. She literally left you. And took your children. If this isn't rage bait. You need to stop being passive in your own life. I understand wanting to kick his ass. But he's just doing what your wife WANTS HIM to do. She is your problem. You hit him kicked out the Army Kudos. But you wrecked yourself as well. Fix your life. Your unemployed now. The courts will still make you pay child support unless you get soul custody of YOUR kids.
They go by your earning potential. It's messed up but that's how they do it. She hasn't worked since you've married so you'll have to pay spousal support. Most states got rid of indefinite spousal support. Get a lawyer pro bono to fix this messed your in. I hope your life gets better. It will get better. It'll take sometime but it will get better.
Get to a divorce lawyer asap and follow the advice given word for word. Stop being so stupid and wake up to the reality that there is no saving this marriage. She is choosing him, and you need to man up, let her go, and focus on your kids.
Anything to do with her will end you back in jail, and your kids will suffer. Stop reading and get to your lawyer. Go
Man I have to ask you this wtf are you doing man she doesn't love you one but she cheats on you right! In front of you rubs in some salt and then stops on your heart dude there is 8 billion people on this planet I guarantee you can find some one that treats you better than that even if they treated you half of that would be better than what you are letting her do to you she sees you as weak and more or less not a man women want a guy to take charge of things which you have failed . The first time you caught her you needed to put your foot down but you didn't .
This is were she took your power away and stuffed it in her
p ***y to save to use on you later and that's exactly what she did .
Come on she got a restraining order on you how did that happen have you ever laid a hand on her ..
This is why when you have to deal with her always I mean always keep the visor and audio recording on your phone .and she had to of called the cops on you to get a protective order on you they just don't hand those out because people think they are a novelty. They would have to have a case number and investigate then they would have given her a temporary protective order or she wouldn't have got one so there is more to this story than what your telling us .
It is your fault because you have continuously allowed it to happen. Stop been a doormat, why do you need her to admit her fault in it all when you already know. Man up get a job and a home and take your kids back and rear them. It has gone in too long now and those poor children they deserve better parents than what you both have been.
I video taped the entire thing. She can storming at me with a knife and I grabbed her arm with one hand and with my other hand that was holding my phone hit her in the upper eye and despite showing the officers the video I was arrested due to the red mark it left
Yes it is your Fault for not having the guts to leave her and divorce. If You have file for divorce, and custody 50-50 none of this would have happend.
You would still have your job, you would have sold the house and have 50% of equity and with the knowing of her having an affair baby this would help for you to pay her zero for alimony.
You could have done thru your lawyer the exposure to the military and maybe even have sue him for Alienation of Affections.
But now, you lose.everything and even your kids are suffering, just because you could not taken out your pink colored glasses and leave her or you still think you love her and you will take her back,if you do then i think you need a psychiatrist to treat you for co-dependecy issues.
Go get a court appointed DNA test for all kids done and file for divorce. She is not worth losing your life or livelihood over. Just focus on being the best dad you can be if the kids are yours. Get yourself stable with a place they all can stay, then file for primary custody.
File divorce and file for custody for your kids and donāt give her anything. She cheated and it was adultry you have the proof. She had a kid. You will have to get tested either paternity test or nut in a cup and have it tested. Still shootnblankz well there is your proof. The hell with her. She broke the trust and the relationship when she got knocked up. I am ok with an open marriage if both parties agree. But no way in hell am I raising someone elseās kid like that. I have raised my own 5 kids and 4 step children. But they came before my 5 with their mother.
What in the fuck. I mean every once in a while I read a post here, and Iām not really this kind of person. But 2$6 are you being such a fucking pussy. What is there to debate over here? What could you possibly be thinking about besides leaving. Holy fucking shit get a grip ok your life before itās gone.
Give them the soft life, they'll get bored and start looking for hard D. Split everything down the middle, everyone works and sheāll fuq the hot new intern that made her feel alive and youngā¦ thereās no pleasing them
i think you had to strike with all of your power after the April 2022 things, like that was the red sign, i mean the danger alert, at that time, you leave, kick her of your house, fill the divorce .. idk how things work there in your country but you get what i mean, w years is a quite long time to suffer, but nothing is late, divorce, leave, take care of your OWN kids, as a father, no more than that, and let her know that she lost a really good man.
you are not alone, keep up, you are the one in control.
Yes, its your fault. Cause you continue to play the game. Burning your whole life down, willingly, is an interesting choice. Some people just don't get it.
"Meanwhile, she maintained physical relations with me"
Ok, you are asking for it. You need to just divorce and stop sleeping with her. How can you keep letting her hurt you like this. Sooner or later you are going to end up in prison over your pride. Just cast her aside because she obviously doesn't love you.
Dude your lack of action is causing this problem. You need to stop this pick me dance crap and instead go full scorched Earth on both your wife and her bf. What you needed in the beginning was an attorney and other legal help rather than confrontation with her bf.
Dude, just file for divorce and take care of your kids. Let her go.
Are we supposed to believe that this is a true story? Really? The neighbor let some army dude move into their house with his wife and kids so she could cheat on him? Really?
No, it sounds completely plausible. Of course your neighbor would contribute to your moral decay without question and would even let children suffer. š
Oh course it's true because he wrote it on reddit and ends it with a question. Always end it with a question
I know I wouldnāt believe it either. Just fyi This is just a small sample size of the whole story. Iām sorry but Iād be here typing for days.
I say this all the time. The world is a big place, and the USA has 350 million people. Crazier shit than this has happened.
You give her too much power over your life, marriage and relationship. Take that power back by filling for divorce and going no contact. Seek the advice of an attorney and know that the courts will set up visitation with the children.
In wouldnāt shit ya. Youāre my favorite terd!
LMAO that is such a Dad thing to say.
Report the AP to his first Sargent. He deserves to have his life blown up too.
Maybe the neighbor is hitting it too
Agree, work of fiction
i was assuming he meant they moved into the neighboring house and therefore became their neighbor. they mentioned that their landlord barred him from entering the nextdoor property, which would imply that the landlord owned/rented out 2 adjacent properties. itās plausible that the ap began renting the house to mess with op. still probably unlikely lol, but it makes more sense than the neighbor just letting them move in.
If this is true, dude sounds like a complete doormat, nothing stopping him from filing for divorce himself!
Or, heās just a real patriot and heās devoting his own wife to the military!
Jody strikes again!
This is a reverse Jody
I can actually believe it, my ex wife did something similar she has narcissist personality disorder. Best thing you can do is divorce her stay as far from her and have as little contact as possible and never look back.
Sorry, brother. Hit the eject button, ASAP. Also, a 29 yr old marrying an 18 yr old was a high-risk choice with the potential for big rewards but more likely big emotional pain. Rally to be the best father to your kids.
Yeah, not sure what he thought would happen when he knocked up a teenager.
Waiting for your wife to divorce you? What are you a gradeschool student?
Exactly my thought. Its like he's scared of the wife.
Nah but his wife was when they started dating
Literally this guy is a total moron.
āDespite these events my wife has yet to seek divorceā¦ā. She cheated on you a multitude of times and had another manās baby and you canāt understand why she hasnāt sought A divorce? Do you realize you could be the plaintiff?
And he is just delaying the inevitable. Paternity test all the kids now with infidelity as a reason to question paternity before the court. Iād wager at least half the kids arenāt actually his in this bullshit scenario
It is your fault in that you have made and continue to make the the absolute worst decisions for yourself and your children. Stop trying with this person. You need a teammate, not a liability.
Ty
Good luck
Divorce her and seek full custody. Bring up the adultry and him subsequently being dismissed. Stop threatening him.
Itās such an utterly trashy people scenario.
Son, you need to grow up. Your āwifeā is a parasite who will never stop taking whatever she can get. File for divorce. The other guy is not your concern. He stole your wife? Good. Let him keep her new that she has his child. You owe him thanks for showing you who your wife really is. Your children need you to be the adult and to provide them with a stable life. No. That doesnāt mean you should live with little Mrs Wanderer. You need to divorce, get a job, and get your life on track. Be the grown-up. Make sure your kids have food and a roof. Cut all emotional ties to your āwifeā. You will be supporting her financially for quite a while. Iām sorry, but that is the truth. Donāt expect anything from her. As things stand now, you donāt sound like a better choice for custody of the kids. You canāt make her choose you. You canāt realistically make the other guy go away. Stop trying. Live for yourself and your kids.
Understood
Why did you pursue an 18-year-old-recent-Prom-attendee when you were 29 *is the real question here*
And met her when she was 14? So disgusting
I met her when she was 18. Married when she was 22. Please read what is written not what you are fantasizing
Love at first sight.
Dude time to actually take control of your life Jesus Christ! Divorce, take care of your kids, find a better job, better location, go back to school and make a better situation, figure something out!! The world is open for you to move forward, so throw away the clutter and trash in your life and move on. I donāt know what you do for work but hell X-ray school is like 2 years and you can go anywhere in the country with it. Thereās 6,000 open travel contracts around the country that will pay $4,000 a WEEK for these kinds of medical workers. Pick a direction
You are in a way. You chose to stay with her and be her warden instead of divorcing her and taking your kids from her. You could have declared her an unfit mother the moment she committed adultery in front of your kids. She is vile. DARVO: Deny guilt, Atrack offender, and Reverse victim and Offender. Sound familiar? My advice. 1. Wake up. No contact other than for co-parenting of your biological children only. 2. Get an STD panel ASAP. 3. Get a lawyer and start the divorce. Get as much evidence of her infidelity as possible and bring it with you along with any other proof of her malfeasance. 4. Get a paternity test for all of "your" children and prepare yourself for a very bad result. 5. Stop engaging with her sex partners. No violence, no threats. That will factor heavily against you in a divorce and custody arrangement. 6. Do not accept mediation through a third party because they are predominantly female-focused and will recommend she get everything no matter how badly she betrayed you.
I am shocked I had to get this far to see #4. OP do this immediately. Also, OP find and call a divorce paralegal service today. It's much cheaper than lawyers, and if she is dragging her feet and also dealing with her own obvious drama, you may get very very lucky and get a default judgement and skip a lot of the court appearances. It sounds like you have your own issues in that regard. All of this varies greatly by state. However, the sooner you start the process and file, the more likely you get a best case outcome.
Ok
I felt bad for you until i read that she was 18 and you were 29 šboth sound immature and i hope you wake the fuck up and find someone your age. š¤”š¤”Anyway good luck
I donāt believe this storyā¦ I would love to hear the other side, because it is wild that she managed to get an order of protection on you and you admitted to threatening him. By your own admissions I believe youāre violent and toxic. I have a hard time getting past the fact youāre so much older than her and couldnāt get control over your own emotions. Youāre a grown man playing toddler games, and you chose a woman significantly younger than you for a reason. You arenāt a victim here, and based on all the responses youāve gotten your public shaming of her hasnāt worked out for you lol.
Any female in the USA that seeks a Protection Order gets it regardless of is veracity. When you go in front of a judge you need to prove what you alleged. That is when shit get real. When they donāt show up it tells you volumes
This is absolutely not true.
Are you a lawyer? Because I am surely one.
You lost your job, car and appt? You got TRO's against yourself? Why didn't you get cys on to her? Why are you still obsessed with her owning up to anything. Her actions speak louder than words. Don't tell me you lost all that you have because you wanted to hear the words?
All your fault? No. Most of your fault. No, bot true either. Some of your fault?? Absolutely. You married a barely adult and when the inevitable happened, you went crazy too instead of simply focusing on your kids and fighting harder for them. So yes you share blame on not prioritizing your children better from this toxic cesspool of behavior.
I know. I wish I could have done more as a level headed father and sheltered them from this trauma
Why throughout this process did you not maintain any custody of your kids???
Why are you still not divorced from this woman..? Dude i really don't want to be that guy, but your parents really raised a weak man.
Divorce? What the fuck does it matter. Iām in no hurry to do anything. Fuck relationships and I have nothing for her to take from me. Itās all gone
She has taken away your dignity and your self-respect. Rise up and be a man to your children and to yourself.
Youāre all the a-holes. Grow up. Your kids deserve far better than any of you psychos have given them.
I agree
This is the stupidest crap I ever heard.
As a woman-she did you dirty. But damn- get out. Just file for divorce, get a damn job and get the kids.
are you stupid?
I suppose
You both suck. Donāt date teenagers and impregnate them, and then act shocked that theyāre deeply immature. Her development stopped at 18. Cheating is vile and horrible for all the regular reasons, so sheās fucking awful obviously. If she was unhappy she should have just divorced you.
What in the Jerry Springer did I just read!?!?!
I'm not sure even he would've touched this one.
Cradle-snatcher.
You should get DNA tests for your other kids
They all favor me to a t
What a mess she created and you allowed to happen... Grey rock from the start would have changed things so much for the better, you ruined yourself, tbh...
Because you're her legal husband you are automatically presumed to be the father of any children she has given birth to. Unless the bio father legally acknowledges paternity within the time period allowed. And she doesn't have a job so you'll be expected to pay alimony. So unless you also want to pay child support for her kids with the army guy I suggest you file for divorce as soon as possible.
Updateme
File now!!!
Stop physical relations with her.
You have made so many mistakes in this that itās going to be a very rough divorce for you. The first time you caught her you should have filed for divorce to make it clear to her you were serious. Now with the protective orders the chances of you getting my custody are much lower meaning she will get to continue whatever she wants in front of the kids.
There is no pfa. Currently just bail stipulations of no contact with her or her whatever he is. Seeing my kids and them healing from this is the only thing that matters
Op, I donāt mean to be offensive, but is there documentation that you have learning problems? Iām f so, find someone who will help you contact Legal Aid or some other nonprofit that might work on your behalf without charging a fee. If your wife is aware of your disability (if you have one) it probably would make her look good to a presiding judge. Updateme!
Yes
I have to say this is all your fault, you let her walk over you and place you in this situation. You chose to play āpick meā with your own wife. You should have respected yourself more and left in the proper way when you first found out. However, you are still married to this lady and she has a kid by another man. I mean how low can you go! I feel sorry for the kids because they have to watch you take this type of treatment and not want better for yourself. While youāre at your parents house I hope you think long and hard about your role in this situation. I hope you get out of it for the better, but when rock down the only place to go is up.
If this is real, you have no one to blame but yourself after she moved out and just used you as a convenience
What did you do to earn the PFA? Or the no trespassing? Was there violence on your end?
Physical violence was all on her end. Iām not one to cause harm to anyone who doesnāt have corresponding defense
Honestly it is your fault. All of these paragraphs of toxic behavior all because YOU did not immediately leave when you KNEW she was corresponding with other men. Blame yourself - people only treat you how you allow them to.
Great point
Sorry, the universe is against you. I am certain that the legal system has a vendetta against you. Nothing is working for you. I wonder why??
I simply can't believe you went back to that. You're a glutton for punishment. How much contempt and disrespect for you and your children does she have to show before you stop being a doormat?
Yep, military. Itās true.
Itās unfortunately 100% true
What a fucking shit show
I will never understand why people stay after getting cheated on. Thatās probably the most disrespectful thing they can do. I donāt care if I got kids or married. If she cheats on me sheās gone. Of course Iāll be there for the kids but Iām not taking her back
My brother, Iām sorry you and your children have to suffer the misery and consequences your wife has brought into your lives. I see nothing wrong with any of your actions. Iām only sorry you werenāt able to give your wifeās AP a good beat down, if not only to help someone elseās marriage from being destroyed. I donāt understand your wifeās current actions. Itās almost as if sheās thinking sheās going to be back together with you at some point. Maybe itās in your best interest to cut her off completely and only deal with her as a little as possible and with as few words as possible. Then, I think the reality of her situation will sink in. All your legal problems will eventually work their way through. I hope youāre find a new wife and stable, loving household for your children to share.Godspeed my friend.
Ty and a beat down is definitely in order but I need my legal issues to be resolved
Why are you enabling her to use you so much?
Iām thinking very much a mental illness
Not everything is due to mental illness. Mental illness is not an excuse for a lack of self worth and a spine. You choose to be miserable every time you allow her in. Buck up and move on and stop letting her think she's all that because she cheated and is still banging the ex to boot.
I'm genuinely curious, did you post this here because you needed reddit to tell you before you realize you should divorce her?
No man is this daft
You poor stupid fuck. Dna test all your broken condoms. Then find a woman in your age range. Dumbass
I cannot deny a single one. They all look like me
Where da fuck did you find herā¦
I saw her out front of a gas station waiting on a ride. I was walking back to the place I was staying at and asked her for her number.
Why are you even with her bro
I have a mental disorder from what Iām gathering
Let this story be a lesson for everyone anticipating "staying for the children". All that happens is that you end up not losing them anyway, but everything else as well.
I hope that my misfortune is a learning opportunity for young men in toxic relationships
You need to learn that lesson as well mate. No place like the present to start.
Lmao why did you go back after all That? Man find your spine, your kids are watching you be weak. You donāt want them learning to be weak in their relationships too. Your wife is trash
I have not a clue but youāre right
Dude, stop being a cuck and get some self respect for yourself.
Ty for your input my guy
Donāt let her do this shit to you and your kids. Ridiculous that sheās blaming you.
I wasnāt the perfect father or husband but who is? I was present I was providingā¦
Exactly. You arenāt the one who destroyed your family, the home your kids live in, nor did you get your wife arrested for your own mistakes. Sheās the problem here, not you.
You shouldn't have kept fucking her and you should have beat the shit outta homeboy in front of your kids
Revenge is a dish best served cold
Youāre literally fighting for someone who doesnāt give two shits about you. At this point your simpish behavior should be considered self-harm and you should seek professional help, psychiatric and legal. It almost seems like you want the drama and heartbreak. Itās hard to feel sorry for someone who is intentionally putting themselves in harms way.
Ehh the only thing I can think of is this is your fault. Also stupid for a 29 year old to go after a 18 year old whoās never worked or anything. Iām 29 right now and there is no way I could go after a 18 year even if it ālooks like true loveā. She just probably found an easy way through life through you and knew you would pay for everything and it shows since she still hasnāt tried to get a job or anything. Itās your fault for letting her play you like the fool you are. Stop trying to blame things on a āmental illness ā and take accountability or go to therapy and divorce her ass.
Why are you even touching this woman after another dude was inside her. Man the fuck up and ditch that bitch. File for a divorce and settle for something that's good for the kids.
FILE FOR DIVORCE YOU MORON
No deffo not all your fault. But you did fuck up when you ignored her flirting with other men. And then you took her back after she cheated and had you removed from the house and carried on with the affair in the same house, and bed.... Don't ever be that soft in your next relationship, hold your head up. All the best mate.
Not going to be long but I'm going to drop some shit this situation didn't happen to you it happened for you that's one next up this is from my heart to you soldier chin up chest out my friend you've got this... And lastly ride the wave play the play for this too shall pass. Take this one to the bank you can't sneeze with your eyes open ā¼ļø
Why didnāt you just save yourself the headache and file yourself? This is on both of you at this point. She may never confess her role, and youāre gonna have to be ok with that bc either way you know the truth. Her shaking responsibility is only going to hurt her so why does it matter? File and move on with NC once finalized unless it directly involves your kids.
You married a psychoā¦did you have any indication of red flags before you started to impregnate and marry this woman when you where dating?
Yes, this is your fault for letting it happen. Your opportunity to take action was a long time ago buddy. You should have filed for divorce and custody of your kids as soon as it happened. Look at you now! Thatās what cheaters do, she was going to look for an excuse to put you in jail and you walked right into it. You let this fester too long and this is the result. Youāre facing a court order, lost the house, lost your job, people think youāre crazy, and cps is about to take your kids to a hell hole. Yes, you have responsibility to play in this for being a door mat.š¤¦š»āāļø
Your wife is a slut. Get a divorce. Make sure you don't be responsible for her child with the other man. To be safe, get paternity tests on all your children to see if they are yours.
File for divorce. If youāre in the U.S I hope u live in a at fault state, then u can drag her ass. If not get as much evidence as possible because the more proof the safer youāll be. Good luck, I hope u destroy her and make her regret ever crossing you.
Yes. You are at fault here for not leaving her. Grow a backbone and divorce her.
Karma will introduce a jody to that army dude in future šš
Thatās music to my ears!
Just divorce and be done with this mess. If you are able get all the evidence you can about her cheating on you. The lawyers will say the same. Go to as many as you can so that she will be limited in who she can choose then file for divorce. She clearly doesn't give a damn. Let others know, control the narrative as best you can by letting others know what is going on. Show the evidence. Your family, hers, all friends so that you will not be seen as the one at fault. Then anyone that takes her side, block them. Do this with her as well. You may take a hit, but you will recover.
Thank you for your cervix
I canāt believe that you were still having sex with her when you knew she was sexing some other dude. Youāre a father of 4, and you are homeless with no job. And yet your primary focus is whoās the bigger fuck up in this fucked up situation? You shouldnāt have married a child to begin with, but since you did, you have to deal with all of the kids you guys made and support them. Stop pointing fingers, and handle your shit. Your ex is a POS, yes, but you arenāt exactly a prize now, either.
So you got together with a bimbo 10 years younger than you and you're surprised she's a bimbo? Divorce and try to get the kids if you can. Otherwise they will learn to be just like her.
The first thing you need is respect for yourself. Respect for your values, your loyalty and dedication to give your ex-wife and kids a good life. Your ex-wife just flushed that down the toilet. Either because she does not care about the consequences, as she sees you as the simp that won;t stand up for himself, or for other similar reasons. Does not really matter at this stage. if you want to stay true to whom you are then dump the 304 and move on. Do not let your kids see you as a wimp or simp. Show them what an honorable and dedicated man does when the chips are down. Life does not give us a choice what happens, but it is up to us - and us alone - how we respond to what is thrown at us. Lastly - they always come back. But you would do well to remember the old adage "She was never yours - it was just your turn". PS: And if you don't do what is expected of someone like you under these circumstances, then you deserve everything that is coming your way.
I am grateful for your support
Sorry, but you need to file divorce and get paternity tests for all the kids. If any are not yours file charges against her for fraud. Then ask the lawyer if it's possible in your state to sue the AP for alienation of affection. If you really want to screw her world you can legally go before a judge and renounce your parental rights. Then she'll be on her own.
All my kids look just like their handsome pops
By getting the tests and doing it in front of her, you send a clear message to her that you no longer trust her at all. Your lawyer will likely want the testing done for the divorce anyway. And doing it in the open is basically a slap in the face to her.
Hire a lawyer and start the divorce based on adultry and only speak to her about your children if she tryās talking to you about anything else just hang up and the better option would be a coparenting app as this could help you in court in the long run as nothing can be deleted. Once she realizes you want nothing todo with her it will help wake her up and odds are this new guy is going to start resenting her because he has been discharged from the service and now he will have to help raise 5 kids when he is only the father of 1. Odds are this will not end well for her so try and get divorced before the affair fog ends.
Youāve gotta get out. Stop allowing her back into your life and fucking her. She sounds like a terrible person. Just focus on yourself and be the best father you can be. Good luck.
Your mistake is allowing her to do all this and you not doing anything to protect yourself and your children. When she began cheating divorce shouldāve been on the table until she corrected herself and never repeated her behavior. When she left with three kids you shouldāve pounced, instead of fvcking with her, and taken her to court to protect your children. You continue to support the demise of your family and put your kids in harms way by not doing anything to address the issue. Talk to a lawyer immediately and stop engaging her. If you continue on your path youāll lose your kids, harm them, put yourself in a difficult financial position for the foreseeable future, and be blamed. What is stopping you from doing anything about this issue?
She canāt waste time energy and resources. I wonāt do anything that will help her with anything except making sure my kids have their needs met. I could give a rats ass about filing anything. Iāll let the court send me papers that tell me Iām divorced. There is nothing left she can take from me
You are to blame for still going after a person like this ex-wife of yours and this man. For God's sake, man. Go to the divorce, if you have evidence against her, use them. Stop looking for her and if she comes to you get a restraining order. He was supposed to do this as soon as he discovered the betrayal
Your wife was never worth any of this. Your marriage and family were over a long time ago. You were very foolish to drag this on. Maybe this is fake, idk, but your poor judgment is off the charts. North England? Subscribeme
I concur
This can't be true why would you put up with a wife like this. Just divorce her for infidelity, she had a kid with another man you have proof. Find a decent woman because shes definitely not one.
Mate, please divorce this slag and take your children
File for divorce, get out and move on!
You needed to grow a spine when you discovered she cheated on you. You should have immediately filed for divorce and sought full custody of the kids allowing her to be a full time fuck toy for her young stud so he could deal with her nonsense. The fact that you kept fucking her even after you knew she was screwing other guys is incredible. Itās 100% fine that you were upset, but to blow your lid to the point you got arrested is ridiculous. As the adult in the room you should have taken a deep breath, got an attorney, filed for divorce, sought therapy, and got custody of the kids. You allowed yourself to be gaslit the point that she ruined your life. So yes a big piece of it is your fault.
The soldier will get all he can out of her & then tell her to go back to you. So, you need to divorce her as you record every communication with her. She will use the police to ruin you.
Iām sorry youāre going through this Jerry springer shit. Your wife is a pig. Or hog. Whichever word you think fits best. Sounds so trashy. Iām sorry for you and the kids. Just file for divorce. Although thatās probably gonna run you 2 grand you donāt have either. You have to seek counsel first. Other wise sheās going to have one up on you and will take your kids and any income you have.
Well luckily she canāt even afford to file let alone take me to court.
You need to file for divorce. You need to have your divorce attorney file for a paternity test. You need to tag this point file a suit to have him pay for the paternity test. Then after, the child is born ensure your name is not on the birth certificate. If it is, you need to file to have it removed or you will be on the hook for child support. If you are you sue him for the costs of having it removed. Stop engaging him except through an attorney.
This is real you need to divorce her and seek full custody
Well, itās a cheating āstoryā! Last story I read was Daniel Tiger going to a human library - yet, I believe it more than PhazeCrazyās poor effort!
My P Pop
Lol thereās no way this guy got discharged for fucking your wife. Thereād be no one in the military.
They gave him opportunity to cut it off they demoted him and gave him extra duty even took his pay. But he showed up on his leaves like he was instructed not to do and he kept making fake profiles and accounts to contact her and they ended up finding out he was disobeying orders
Oh fuck lol what a fucking insane person, hoping you get as far away as you can from these turds.
Whew !!!!
You file for divorce. Why are waiting on her. She literally left you. And took your children. If this isn't rage bait. You need to stop being passive in your own life. I understand wanting to kick his ass. But he's just doing what your wife WANTS HIM to do. She is your problem. You hit him kicked out the Army Kudos. But you wrecked yourself as well. Fix your life. Your unemployed now. The courts will still make you pay child support unless you get soul custody of YOUR kids. They go by your earning potential. It's messed up but that's how they do it. She hasn't worked since you've married so you'll have to pay spousal support. Most states got rid of indefinite spousal support. Get a lawyer pro bono to fix this messed your in. I hope your life gets better. It will get better. It'll take sometime but it will get better.
If you have ever been around a military town unfortunately this happens all the time
Get to a divorce lawyer asap and follow the advice given word for word. Stop being so stupid and wake up to the reality that there is no saving this marriage. She is choosing him, and you need to man up, let her go, and focus on your kids. Anything to do with her will end you back in jail, and your kids will suffer. Stop reading and get to your lawyer. Go
Yes itās your fault for not divorcing her when you found out she cheated the first time ..you allowed your wife to do this with immunity..sad
Why would you not lie about the age gap your asking to set yourself up. Updateme!
She was 18. She is now 33. Perfectly legal. Your opinion doesnāt matter one iota
Man I have to ask you this wtf are you doing man she doesn't love you one but she cheats on you right! In front of you rubs in some salt and then stops on your heart dude there is 8 billion people on this planet I guarantee you can find some one that treats you better than that even if they treated you half of that would be better than what you are letting her do to you she sees you as weak and more or less not a man women want a guy to take charge of things which you have failed . The first time you caught her you needed to put your foot down but you didn't . This is were she took your power away and stuffed it in her p ***y to save to use on you later and that's exactly what she did . Come on she got a restraining order on you how did that happen have you ever laid a hand on her .. This is why when you have to deal with her always I mean always keep the visor and audio recording on your phone .and she had to of called the cops on you to get a protective order on you they just don't hand those out because people think they are a novelty. They would have to have a case number and investigate then they would have given her a temporary protective order or she wouldn't have got one so there is more to this story than what your telling us .
3 sides to every story. Yours hers and the truth
It is your fault because you have continuously allowed it to happen. Stop been a doormat, why do you need her to admit her fault in it all when you already know. Man up get a job and a home and take your kids back and rear them. It has gone in too long now and those poor children they deserve better parents than what you both have been.
You seem to have been intentionally vague about the āheated argumentā did you lay hands on her?
I video taped the entire thing. She can storming at me with a knife and I grabbed her arm with one hand and with my other hand that was holding my phone hit her in the upper eye and despite showing the officers the video I was arrested due to the red mark it left
Thatās wild, how did your lawyer not get you off in self defense?
Wow man you should have divorced her a whole lot earlier. A lot of these painful & unfortunate events could have been avoided or prevented.
Divorce her, cant make a ho a housewife. You gave it a noble effort, but it just isnt possible.
Yes it is your Fault for not having the guts to leave her and divorce. If You have file for divorce, and custody 50-50 none of this would have happend. You would still have your job, you would have sold the house and have 50% of equity and with the knowing of her having an affair baby this would help for you to pay her zero for alimony. You could have done thru your lawyer the exposure to the military and maybe even have sue him for Alienation of Affections. But now, you lose.everything and even your kids are suffering, just because you could not taken out your pink colored glasses and leave her or you still think you love her and you will take her back,if you do then i think you need a psychiatrist to treat you for co-dependecy issues.
Go get a court appointed DNA test for all kids done and file for divorce. She is not worth losing your life or livelihood over. Just focus on being the best dad you can be if the kids are yours. Get yourself stable with a place they all can stay, then file for primary custody.
File divorce and file for custody for your kids and donāt give her anything. She cheated and it was adultry you have the proof. She had a kid. You will have to get tested either paternity test or nut in a cup and have it tested. Still shootnblankz well there is your proof. The hell with her. She broke the trust and the relationship when she got knocked up. I am ok with an open marriage if both parties agree. But no way in hell am I raising someone elseās kid like that. I have raised my own 5 kids and 4 step children. But they came before my 5 with their mother.
What in the fuck. I mean every once in a while I read a post here, and Iām not really this kind of person. But 2$6 are you being such a fucking pussy. What is there to debate over here? What could you possibly be thinking about besides leaving. Holy fucking shit get a grip ok your life before itās gone.
OP is certainly very verbose. Sounds like the post is written in lawyer-speak half the time.
Give them the soft life, they'll get bored and start looking for hard D. Split everything down the middle, everyone works and sheāll fuq the hot new intern that made her feel alive and youngā¦ thereās no pleasing them
Updateme
i think you had to strike with all of your power after the April 2022 things, like that was the red sign, i mean the danger alert, at that time, you leave, kick her of your house, fill the divorce .. idk how things work there in your country but you get what i mean, w years is a quite long time to suffer, but nothing is late, divorce, leave, take care of your OWN kids, as a father, no more than that, and let her know that she lost a really good man. you are not alone, keep up, you are the one in control.
Check the kids they might not be yours. Drop the dead weight and get on with life. Let her starve
Yes, its your fault. Cause you continue to play the game. Burning your whole life down, willingly, is an interesting choice. Some people just don't get it.
"Meanwhile, she maintained physical relations with me" Ok, you are asking for it. You need to just divorce and stop sleeping with her. How can you keep letting her hurt you like this. Sooner or later you are going to end up in prison over your pride. Just cast her aside because she obviously doesn't love you.
I hope that army dude dies in WW3
Dude your lack of action is causing this problem. You need to stop this pick me dance crap and instead go full scorched Earth on both your wife and her bf. What you needed in the beginning was an attorney and other legal help rather than confrontation with her bf.
Walk away from her
OP , you are a cuck
lol. Pornhub will rot your brain bro
She a hoe fr
More or less takes after her mother
U were 29 and married a 18 year old? Ur sick and deserve this
No. I was 33 and she was 22 whenever we got hitched
Oh ok thatās not as bad